6 years ago
VIP Packages and Hotel Discounts for The Toronto Party


It’s officially one month before the Fire and Ice: Sugar Masquerade Ball in Toronto, Canada. Have you been naughty or nice this year? Whatever your fantasy, there’s nothing like starting off the season right with an exclusive party designed to make your sugar sinfully sweeter.

A few updates on the party:

Our VIP tables are now available on the Eventbrite page. If you’re looking for a more intimate way to indulge, our luxurious VIP lounge gives you the benefits of a private party with the hottest Sugar Babies, while still being in the center of the action. Each VIP booth comes with a variety of bottle service choices, so there is something for everyone’s tastes. Skip the lines with our VIP entrance and bar, while enjoying the added convenience of private security. Each VIP package includes two complimentary tickets for your guests.

SeekingArrangement wants our guests to fully indulge in the Toronto experience. We have reserved rooms and negotiated discount rates at the following hotels:

The Ritz Carlton

Address: 181 Wellington Street West Toronto, Ontario M5V 3G7

Phone: (416) 585-2500 (Overnight Reservations: 1-800-542-8680)

Discounted Rates: Deluxe $275 CAD; Suite $375 CAD

Group Code: Fire & Ice Masquerade Ball

The Grand Hotel

Address: 225 Jarvis Street Toronto, Ontario M5B 2C1

Phone: (416) 863-9000

Discounted Rates: Grand Deluxe $189

Group Code: Fire & Ice Masquerade Ball

For more questions, please feel free to contact us. We look forward to seeing you in Toronto!

Leave a Reply

157 Responses to “VIP Packages and Hotel Discounts for The Toronto Party”

  1. Daisygirl says:

    I too live very frugal so coming up with money to fly to Toronto and purchase my party ticket has been a stretch but doable. I am glad I have a friend I can stay with while I am there. If I had to pay hotel rooms as well I would be staying home. Unfortunatly a new dress is out of the question so I will have to rely on my whit and charm to dazzle them with. LOL
    Is anyone else attending the Toronto Party? I am getting so excited!!

  2. Lauren says:

    I just bought a $1,000 table. Who wants to join me?!

  3. onyx_percula says:

    Okay ladies a tip on profile pictures… When you go into your bathroom to take that cute sexy selfy, do two things first. 1) Clean the mirror! 2) Clean up the room or at least make it look less like a disaster area.

  4. onyx_percula says:

    Nope guess not, lol. Just very slow.

  5. onyx_percula says:

    So is the blog broken again?

  6. JazzySB says:

    I have to say DarkHorse, that you have an excellent grasp on the day to day expenses of a young woman. I once rejected a pot’s offer and he wanted to know why his offer was too low. I explained that my sugar money isn’t even for my regular bills, it’s for extras and maintenance. I mean it costs money to be an SB, you can’t go out wearing the same outfit and looking a mess. I gave him the run down and he was flabbergasted. You did miss a few things that were on my list, like bimonthly waxing, gym membership and birth control.

  7. DancingDevi says:

    @DarkHorse – My graduate tuition averages, after factoring in the “nickles and dimes” in fees, about $350 per graduate hour. So, my tuition for this semester was just over $3K. I had saved up money between my BA commencement and beginning my MA program. I’ll be doing the same thing before I go for my PhD – more to have a safety net, since I won’t be getting a PhD if I have to pay for it.

    @Jersey – I agree that wardrobe is important, even outside of the sugar dynamic, and that someone creative and aware of how to put an outfit together can look great no matter what. Most of my wardrobe is classic lines, classic colors, and contains a lot of separates as well as dresses. Proper care can go a long way in helping keep an older wardrobe looking new – if the clothes are cut in classic lines, then they don’t end up being “out of fashion” a year later, which is also helpful.

    Also helpful, for me, is the extensive knowledge I gained growing up in theatre – for example, I can design and sew clothing, and well. It is not uncommon for me to make something for myself, often inspired by something I saw Garbo or one of her screen sisters. Buying high-end fabrics is still cheaper than a gown off-rack, and I don’t end up having to buy a larger size and alter it down to fit my figure properly (practically no one sells high quality gowns off-rack for a true hourglass figure these days).

    My MA is necessary if I want to continue in my field. I can get by with less pay and fewer opportunities without a PhD, but I actually need the MA. I want it, too, but I’m doing it because I’m unemployable past the basic level in my field without it.

    @NCGent – I see a lot of that around campus, but I think a majority of them have their “wants” subsidized by their parents. Me, I’d rather live frugally and know that I can get by on my own – I wouldn’t refuse an allowance from a SD, but I largely joined SA so I could spend my limited free time with someone awesome who also has limited free time and could actually afford to pick up the check. Almost every meal I eat is something I make for myself at home, even what I eat at school – fast food just makes me sick, anyway, so it’s not much of a “treat” when I have some spare cash. I’d rather use the cash on a less-affordable ingredient to make myself something I don’t usually get to make for myself (like saffron chicken – mmmm, saffron). I only get away with living by myself through luck in finding someplace with cheap rent in exchange for living a bit farther out and tending a garden and chickens! For me, it’s totally worth it to not have to try to write with someone getting their head fucked into the wall on the other side of my monitor and a small party/gathering of random college students outside my window.

  8. sweetie says:

    I’m sure the vast majority of female students don’t actually have an SD to pay/help with education and such. So this SD/SB situation is actually an exception. Now if those SBs who thought having a SD have come to the conclusion that such opportunity is a good one, then more power to them. I remember a woman saying she wished she thought of that when her college years were tough.

  9. NC Gent says:

    I put myself through college also. I didn’t have much help from my parents, but I was fortunate enough to have a fellowship for graduate school. When I was in college, I always had three other roommates. I owned a POS car, but I seldom used it because I preferred my bicycle over spending money on gas. I didn’t have a single designer piece of clothing. Going out to eat for fast food was considered spoiling myself. I often see college-aged SBs on the site who have nice cars, many designer clothing items and accessories, zero or one roommates, etc. If you want to live that lifestyle and make it through college, you probably need a few SDs unless you have wealthy parents.

  10. flyr says:

    My experience with renewal matched that of SC other than there were more new contacts but not the usual junk ( Phillipines etc) but rather several who would have been real prospects

  11. Stormcat says:

    Well I’m quite humbled to have complained about shell profiles sending me messages after my premium membership expired. After three days my in-box showed 10 unread messages, curiosity got the best of me, and I re-upped. Well all the messages were from pots that I had messaged in the past. “Who’d o thunk it” I wonder why they suddenly all got interested in me just as my premium membership expired. 🙂

    Jersey ~ Being a poor student is not just the experience of SBs, but before many SDs become such, they too had to get educated etc and they didn’t likely have the option of getting help from an arrangement. I’m unusual in that I have 2 doctorates but they weren’t handed to me and I didn’t have rich parents to pay my way. I’ve always had to work full time, in addition to keeping up with the school work. I will say though that the second doctorate was easier because work paid better at that stage, but the time crunch was still painful.

  12. DarkHorseSD says:

    LOL! Great answer!

  13. DorkyGuy says:

    @DH~ Oohh… A logic puzzle.

    At first, I was going to answer: The arrangement would never end due to the perpetual growth of both midtown and Starbucks.

    Then I realized it was a trick question. The arrangement would last 1 month, because all Starbucks are the same.

  14. DarkHorseSD says:

    If you had an arrangement to meet once a month at a Starbucks in midtown, how many years could the arrangement go on before you were forced to meet at the same Starbucks a second time?

  15. DorkyGuy says:

    @Jersey~ “It’s the way of the world in counties like the US.” …. Assuming the major doesn’t include geography or political science? 😉

  16. DarkHorseSD says:

    Jersey you are such a person to take lessons from!

    As a corollary to the typical SB situations is talking about what it takes to be an SD with 1.5 or 3 or 4 K free per month. Also what are the reasons to be an SD in terms of goals with regard to your SB(s)

  17. DarkHorseSD says:

    Do the SBs get something of value just from the opportunity of being amongst other SBs in person?

  18. Jersey Darling says:

    @DarkHorse – Thanks for breaking down the costs of what it’s like to be an SB. I think you’ve done a great job. I think your numbers are realistic (although of course us frugal SBs know we can manage to live on less even if we don’t enjoy it).

    No two arrangements are the same, and (as always) that is the key to the conversation. I have a few more expensive pieces of clothing/jewelry/handbags that I wear for first or second meets, but the majority of my wardrobe is $70 jeans and tops that cost about the same – classic clothes that can be mixed and matched to create different outfits and last for years. In the past I’ve had my wardrobe filled with $20 jeans and $5 shirts if that’s what I could afford – if you know how to put together an outfit it will look good regardless.

    Of course a wealthy SD will probably be able to tell the difference between expensive and cheap (I had one who noticed everything about me from my foundation to my eyebrows, and I set aside for about $200 in better quality makeup to look flawless and it lasted about a year), but many won’t care how expensive your clothes are as long as you look good, and if they’re interested in you will help you get the rest of the way. You just need enough to help you get through the first few dates. And if you can’t afford the investment and can’t afford it even after saving up, I’d caution you to calibrate your expectations and realize that this is an investment you need to save for before expecting to be a successful SB. If your needs are more immediate, you need to get a regular job.

    And as much as I empathize with my higher-ed SBs (I’m about to go for my masters myself, I feel your pain) we all must remember that putting ourselves through higher ed is a choice we’ve made for ourselves and we live with the consequences without expecting others to bail us out. It’s the way of the world in counties like the US.

  19. flyr says:

    running around “here” referred to SA not this blog

  20. Jersey Darling says:

    SA events are most geared to local SBs in the area, which is why they host them in different cities. If SBs outside of the area want to go, many can afford it, either through having been a successful SB before or because, you know, they have jobs they can sustain themselves on.

    Side note – Yes it costs a little money to get dolled up but if you can’t afford a hundred bucks for a fun time for something you want to do should you really be an SB? You should go because you think it will be fun, and you should pull out of whatever fun fund you keep for yourself. If you don’t have one, then of course it makes sense not to go or (using common sense here) just use a dress you already own and do your own hair and nails and makeup. Masks can be had for about $5 on the internet.

    @GTT – Did you emphasize to this girl that you really wanted exclusivity? If you are an SD that only wants to meet once a month, you are a prime target for SD juggling – most SDs I’ve come across want to meet once or twice a week (which is too much imo, I like to have my own life outside of SDs/work). If you said you wanted exclusivity and she lied I can see where that sucks, especially if it affected your safe sex practices (which it NEVER should!). But in the sugar bowl, as much as I am someone who values exclusivity, I always assume the person I am seeing has others. It’s just part of no strings attached.

  21. flyr says:

    “don’t let her problems become my problems”

    That’s sound advice. I do not think the lack of urgent need for sugar is necessarily related to the absence of problems. There are plenty of princesses of drama and entitlement running around here.

    I have met a number of SBs who had an “urgent” need, but were pretty problem free. Often they needed and learned to live a more disciplined life.

    I think the real secret is carefully recruiting for what’s important to you and identifying both those who are a good match and those who despite their other attributes are a disaster in the making. The difference between good and disaster is in the eye of the beholder.

  22. DarkHorseSD says:

    DD – is your tuition very low or are you taking on student loans so your cash flow budget is under 3k, but are you factoring in what you’ll have to pay back over the years?

    It’s an important skill to know how to live on a small budget, and a lot of people don’t have it…

    Now back to the typical or more average situations I’m trying to portray to say its not unusual that an SB is going to want 2 or 3 typical SDs…

    Say the SB is married so there’s a home and the bills are paid because they both have jobs. Maybe she wants enough to take the 1 or 2 kids out of public school plus sign them up to some after school care and programs – that’s going to take a lot right there. What about summer camp?

    Say she’s young single and on her own. She wants an ok one bedroom on the Upper West Side. She wants to go out once a week to a nice place with her girlfriends. She’s clever and buys nice $240 Ralph Lauren boots for $100 at Marshals. But you need black and brown. Are you going to wear the same style every day? The same boots with a short dress as a long one? She’s spent $400 on $1000 retail for boots. Winter coats. Shoes. Stuff wears out.

    Now go out with a guy who is paying and wants her to dress up. Get some good looking dresses at Zara for $60 each if lucky? What about BCBG for a couple hundred on sale? Color hair every 5 weeks for $100 – what about $tyling too? Get the nails done with the stuff that lasts 3 weeks for $40. Makeup etal.

    Pockets books. You need several to go with different outfits, venues and activities. Guess, Michael Kors, Cole Hahn?

    We haven’t gone nuts yet…now how about put a little money away each week? And pay down the student loans. Take a class in something.

    It all just adds up and adds up. She doesn’t even have a car yet – and, ok, won’t living in the city. Has she been to the dentist or the doctor yet? How long before yet another pair of stockings gets a run?

    Could a guy live this lifestyle in the city and provide for a long term life ‘business plan’ on less than 6 or 7 k a month? It can take 8-10k. So get a full time job for 5k. Where is the other 3k coming from? 2 SDs.

  23. DancingDevi says:

    I didn’t mean to imply that someone who has a higher budget doesn’t know how to live frugally when necessary. I just get frustrated with the “gotta have it-itis” I see run rampant with people who don’t ever stop to ask if they can afford it and if they actually need it. Getting something one doesn’t actually need, when one can afford it, is one thing – doing so when one can’t afford it is a fool’s game. I can’t imagine many people actually need a new iPhone when the old one works just fine, etc.

  24. DancingDevi says:

    I live in an area with a high cost of living, am a full-time graduate student writing a thesis, and spend a decent chunk of otherwise-free time caring for a family member. My entire budget for a month is considerably under $3K a month. I receive a stipend for caring for said family member at their home, and my rent is very low since I am a live-in caretaker for a house just outside of the city. I live extremely frugally now, though I have had periods in my life that were beyond comfortable in the past. Sure, the meals I cook for myself at home are pretty basic and boring these days, but a lot of folks in this area wouldn’t believe I can live on as little as I do. I think some people just don’t know/never learned, how to get creative and survive on less when times get tough. (This is a general statement about people, not limited to the sugarbowl.)

    I don’t see anything wrong with someone having multiple SDs or SBs, but (as others have stated) it’s not for me. Especially right now, I just don’t have the time – my biggest relationship in my life right now is with my thesis (too bad it’s completely flaccid and unsatisfactory in bed)! The only thing I would have a problem with in later discovering my (theoretical) SD had other SBs would be a lack of honesty. Dishonesty is a sure-fire killer for almost anything that was or could have been great fun for all involved. I think it actually outranks drama, in my book, but the two are so often intertwined that it’s hard to say for sure.

    I still would think juggling multiple SDs/SBs could get problematic, in terms of scheduling and overall logistical management, but I think that if someone can juggle that well and it’s all above board and kosher with those involved, then more power to them!

  25. DarkHorseSD says:

    I think more women to men is very likely and heard from attendees that is the norm.

    I understand Toronto as one in a line of various spots. I just can’t come up with a rational for December.

    I’ve traditionally seen many many profiles with young SBs having very pretty pictures around there. They are often trying for New Yorkers.

    Thinking about December I considered meeting real SDs before they head to FL scouting SBs to bring with. But then wait a minute…they have girls in FL too, don’t they? I don’t know. I just can’t come up with anything.

    How about a hibernation arrangement? At the SD’s place, of course.

  26. YumYum says:

    I am really thinking about this event but I fair there will probably be more women to men. Anyone been to a SA event before?

  27. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’ve had every possible permutation of experience from staying at their place to having no clue where they were living to hotels to my place.

  28. NC Gent says:

    Interesting. I have been to all of my SB’s places and I used to stay at my first SB’s place when I was in her town on business.

  29. DarkHorseSD says:

    BG – I bet you don’t want an SD and a $300 room in a shared apt in Bensonhurst either.

  30. onyx_percula says:

    @ WCSD — I have to admit there is some white knight in me alright, lol.

    I think you have to choose well and be prepared to quit when you have to. No I don’t think coming then leaving makes it worse necessarily. You gave them a chance, if they truly don’t want help then they are going to keep failing and you have to walk away happy that you know you tried.

  31. WCSD says:

    @Onyx – I agree it doesn’t have to be more drama with a desperate SB, but if it is a much higher chance of it, why bother? Also, unless you are committing to a long term process with her to get her out of being desperate, are you going to leave her in a better place than when she got there? Or are you just adding to her desperation? I definitely live by Guru’s mantra, don’t let her problems become my problems. And taking on a desperate SB, by definition means I’m taking on her problems. I know for many SD’s the ‘white knight syndrome’ is what they love, but that doesn’t work for me.

  32. onyx_percula says:

    @ Beach_Girl — My SB#1 is the same way, its very unlikely I will ever know exactly where she lives. Two past only ever wanted to see me at their place. And now two pot SBs that only want hotel rooms…

  33. onyx_percula says:

    @ DarkHorseSD & WCSD — Desperate/dependent SBs versus not. I have had both, had great and miserable experiences with both. It really is a person by person thing. Yes the odds are MUCH high that a desperate SB is a drama source, but doesn’t have to be.

    DarkHorseSD makes a good about the costs of living. I think it comes down to what is the SB comfortable with. Around the PHX metro area you can find decent/nice single bedroom apartments for <$1k. I see a lot of girls with roommates splitting a $2500-$3k apartment/condo around here.

  34. Beach_Girl says:

    DarkHorse~ I would not have a SD come to my house EVER!!!!

  35. Beach_Girl says:

    Sweetie~ No I didn’t see that Storm asked me to go?!?!?!? I haven’t been on the blog at all lately, and if I am, just look at a few comments lol…

    Storm, I can’t go 🙁 I know… It my busy time of year!!!! I can’t take time off at all

    WCSD~Snow is soon approaching! 🙁 I don’t want any lol shoveling, slippery roads… no thanks, I could go without!

  36. WCSD says:

    @DH – I definitely don’t expect to be hosted at my SBs place. Honestly if I get to see their place that is pretty special. Also, taking the risk of getting a nicer place based on SD $$ is not something I would advise. What happens if/when he poofs, and you are stuck having to pay that rent every month?? Oh oh, now you are relying on the SD money to survive…time to get into desperation mode….time to be a show stopper. That definitely is NOT something I would ever advise a SB to do, let alone help them along to do it. If as a SD I decide that I want to rent out a seperate apartment (i.e. my own love nest) as that is more cost effective/discrete than a hotel, etc. that is a completely different story, but then I’m taking the risk, and I have the money to take that risk.

  37. gentle(man)soul says:


    Wow ! I’m flabbergasted ! . DH, I would want you to be my daddy . Would you share with us how much you like to spend on your SB(s) /month ?

    I’ve been on SA for 3 years and have had 3 ATFs and numerous other short term arrangements ,and not one -even those I consider GPS ask for more than $1-3000/month . But wait -maybe that’s because I screen them out and contact only those in that range . Maybe there are plenty of guys who can afford $50K /yr or more to keep a SB but I would disagree with “most” . I would argue a “few” instead .

  38. DarkHorseSD says:

    I included part time job for students and full time job for graduates.

    It’s just what is going to be typical.

    How many SBs are you going to find that graduated college and are lucky enough to have a job and the job pays well enough for them to have an apartment good enough for them to entertain discretely in? In the alternative, you are going to pay $200-250 for a hotel each time you meet. So she can live in a run down place in Astoria on 2k allowance while her SD spends 1k/mo on hotel rooms, or have a nice apartment 24/7 for the same net cost to the SD.

    This is all just typical numbers for what you are going to find. A typical SA SD is going to provide half of what it costs to be an SB with a comfortable lifestyle – which is a middle ground between being frugal and being frivolous.

  39. WCSD says:

    @BG – The west coast is treating me very well. I’m looking forward to Whistler opening very soon. I always get excited to get back into skiing.

  40. sweetie says:

    Hi, BG!!! By the way, Stormy invited you to the Toronto party, did you miss that part? 😉 Doing ok, dear. Gotta go to class now. Have fun on the blog. 🙂

  41. WCSD says:

    @DarkHorse – I agree with your analysis that expenses from someone in school or post school, in a major urban area can total up to $3-4K a month. But do you want a sugar baby who exists only on the money earned from sugar daddies? I want someone who is independant and self sufficient. The $1.5K per month SD is then bonus money. A nice addition to the retirement savings plan, or the ability for some retail therapy without the guilt that it is outside of their budget. But if a SB needs 2 or 3 SDs to survive…that is an issue for me. Note I am NOT someone who gets too worried about my SB having another SD or boyfriend, etc. as long as there is no drama (i.e. we know about it). But if that is needed to survive, then I’m out. Even if they just need me to survive, that is a deal breaker for me.

    Now the good thing is in my experience most SBs on SA are not in it for survival, but for fun, and maybe to reach a goal quicker than if they didn’t find a SD. But in that regard, I don’t think it is typical that a SB has to have multiple SDs.

  42. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!!
    WCSD~ nice to see you, How are things on the West coast?
    I haven’t been in a dive bar in a long time… I need to get out more

    Sweetie, How are you girlie?

    Storm~ Going to Toronto ball? enjoy yourself and we will need a detailed update of the ball when you get back 😀

  43. DarkHorseSD says:

    I want to talk about this multiple SD conversation not from the deception standpoint but from the financial practicalities.

    An SB typically must need 3 or 4 k a month. Plus a part time job. To live decently in a prominent urban area is hard with less. Tuition (if), rent, food…not a $300 room in Bensonshurst, but a decent share for 600-1000. $1800-3000 for a decent apt in good location for someone post college…that’s 3-4k sugar plus a full time job.

    How about looking nice…for many SDs they want someone well dressed. Money, money. With these numbers an SB hasn’t gotten avaricious yet.

    Now I said SA is very mass market oriented. Tons of $1500 SDs. An SB needs 2-3 of them. Not as a pro, as a reality. I think we have to expect that by and large SA SBs are going to have second and third SDs.

    In less expensive areas, an SB can live the same way with 2-2.5k from 2 SDs.

    But multiple SDs from SA is going to be typical.

  44. sweetie says:

    WCSD, they still make profit even when they sell you $1.50 drinks. When working in a bar back in Chicago, we figured out a pint of beer cost maybe .50 cents. We’d sell it for $5 at least. Booze is very profitable.

  45. WCSD says:

    Yep. It is a dive bar, in the burbs where I play hockey (one of my teams anyway). Thursday nights – beers are $2 and high balls are $1.50. Go to the bar and buy 2 beers and two crown and cokes….and I’m charged $7….I have no idea how they stay in business…

  46. SBinMass says:

    $1.50 drinks?!? Whoaaa

    Last week I ventured into DeLux in Boston and was blown away by the $3.50 beers

    Wow $1.50…

  47. WCSD says:

    @DH – As you know, it all depends on where you go, and what you drink. There is a great pub I go to on occasion that has $1.50 drinks….and others that are $20+. But very different environments, and very different customers as well. But there is nothing wrong with a dive bar every now and then!

  48. WCSD says:

    @Sweetie – I’m not saying $80 is nothing, but compared to going out to a club I’d say it is exactly the same. Compared to sitting at home and doing nothing, it is a lot of money for some.

  49. sweetie says:

    Stormy, the ice and fire post has the address of the event, by the way.

    WCSD, I see your point as investment in finding an SD.

  50. DarkHorseSD says:

    WCSD – drinks are only $15 on the West Coast!?

    If Toronto coat check is included that’s another $3-5 value, if they have a coat check. Hehe

  51. DarkHorseSD says:

    Stay tuned for the big SA party in Miami this July…

  52. sweetie says:

    $80 means different things to different people. It’s not little money to me, no matter how open that bar is.

  53. WCSD says:

    @Sweetie – Really, the $80 is the problem? Go to any club in a big city and how long does it take you to spend $80? $20 cover, $15 drinks….and you are at $80 pretty quickly. This is also an open bar event, with the potential to find a SD. If the economics of what you’d spend at a club anyway doesn’t work for you, look at it as an investment into finding a SD.

  54. sweetie says:

    @ Stormy, I guess you could email SA and inquire about the exact location of the Toronto event.

    @ Guru, yes, maybe it’s not a whole nine yards type of thing and mostly for local SB, but $80 ticket, that’s more than just a clubbing night out.

  55. JazzySB says:

    Oh Stormy, we know they shuffle the parties from city to city. I’m just voicing my excitement about having it in Vegas. You guys stay warm in Toronto, I’ll wait for a warmer setting.

  56. Stormcat says:

    Onyx, Jazzy ~ It’s not like Toronto is a one time only SA event. They have actually held these party’s in a lot of places in the past. NY, LA, Vegas, London, etc. etc. In fact I think the very first SA party was in Vegas. They try to spread the joy around to try and accommodate the convenience of members in as many locales as makes sense. If you want a party in Vegas then just wait and it will happen, but for now the current one is being planned for Toronto so that’s the place to be if you want to participate.

  57. JazzySB says:

    I’m with Onyx, Vegas! That’s a party I would attend.

  58. gentle(man)soul says:


    ” So I was approached by a pot SB that wants a discrete arrangement that is totally discrete as in meeting someone alone for a few hours. She is looking for a weekly or P4P allowance deal… So… she doesn’t come off as a pro in messages, but the weekly/P4P plus the hookup only meetings makes me think otherwise.”

    Married ,non pro .

    Married SDs like me need discretion ,why not SBs ? Apart from all this Relationship talk and mentoring many of us (most? ) actually want a wild sex partner and not need to indulge in counseling . My beautiful SB is single but loves sex ,so is understanding and fine with a 2 hour bang fest /week behind closed doors .

  59. DancingDevi says:

    @Stormcat – It will be held at the 99 Sudbury (which is located at 99 Sudbury St, Toronto, ON), according to the post announcing the event (https://www.seekingarrangement.com/blog/seekingarrangement-does-toronto/).

  60. Landon says:

    I was wondering about the location as well. I was thinking that the event would attract more in a warmer place during the winter time. But toronato is a nice spot.

  61. Stormcat says:

    S ~ checked it out and you are right . . . very kool! Signed up and searched Toronto, of course, but realized that nowhere does it say the place where the Toronto Ball is actually going to be located. How does one plan for that? Anyway checked out the area around the Ritz and there are some righteous accommodations nearby. . . Next I’m looking into Melbourne . . . (Hopefully going there for a while this winter)

  62. onyx_percula says:

    So discrete arrangements… So myself I need virtually none, I have been with a couple of SBs that wanted to be “discrete” but that really just translated into more careful about when we would see each other and limit to certain places.

    So I was approached by a pot SB that wants a discrete arrangement that is totally discrete as in meeting someone alone for a few hours. She is looking for a weekly or P4P allowance deal… So… she doesn’t come off as a pro in messages, but the weekly/P4P plus the hookup only meetings makes me think otherwise.

    So sugars what do you think, pro or not?

    @ SD Guru — If you want a good location for “local” SBs to come out you should do one in Vegas. Not only are there lots of SBs in Vegas, you would draw from Phoenix, LA, SD and San Francisco. Maybe Salt Lake too. Not too mention Vegas knows how to throw a party. 😉

    With all the new teenage SBs I have seen lately makes me wonder if SA is advertising in HS yearbooks now, lol.

  63. DancingDevi says:

    @ SD Guru – Are there really that many SBs in Toronto? I would think, the way they’ve presented it in the blogs, they are hoping for more than SDs and local SBs to show up.

  64. SBinMass says:

    Dont know any Trinitys, sorry

    • SD Guru says:

      “SA is not a place where amateurs should take big risks. Keep to what you can handle.”

      I agree, and it’s true for both sides.

      “Even if I lived in Toronto and didn’t need a hotel or much travel, I would still need a dress and cute shoes and all kinds of manicuring, and that gets expensive.”

      I think the idea behind SA’s parties is that SB’s who attend are usually local. It should be just like going out clubbing and not a major production or huge stretch for SB’s to attend.

      “My current SB who is (was) perfect in every way I just found out has 2 other SD’s and a boyfriend.”

      I’m sorry to hear that… but as I’ve pointed out to you before, if you only see your perfect SB about once a month, what should you realistically expect despite whatever she tells you?

      Besides, it was only ten days ago that you gushed about your perfect SB in this postbut wondered why you were tempted to go back on SA. Perhaps your subconscious was trying to tell you something?

      “Have any of the other SDs noticed an increase in pot SB activity?”

      The holiday season is upon us, which means high season in the sugar world. It’s the same every year so get used to it! :mrgreen:

  65. sweetie says:

    Stormy, this site is not bnbs, really. People rent out their apartments or extra apartments, rooms, studios, you name it. Some are luxurious, some are chic, depends on your tastes. I get all giggly when I search for a place, it’s so cool to look at what’s available and then pick the cutest one! Take a look at the site. airbnb.com

  66. Stormcat says:

    S ~ Thanks for the suggestion. I like BnBs for their familiarity and I hate them for the same. It’s a crap shoot as to who you have to dine with. They find out that you are an attorney and they are telling you about their aunt’s divorce case or they find out that you are an immunologist and they tell you about their sister’s lupus. WTF. I’d rather just have a nice hotel room without all the intrusion. Plus, I can get a much better organic breakfast at the local indy-kool coffee shop and listen to some great music in the process.

  67. sweetie says:

    Laura, I agree with Onyx, you did not offend anybody. You made a good point, by the way.

    Stormy, are you familiar with airbnb? I prefer finding lodging there when I travel and the rates are great, plus have reviews, plenty pictures, can chose based on location etc. Beats hotels, in my book.

  68. onyx_percula says:

    @ Laura — I don’t think you offended anyone, its all good and is a good topic.

  69. Stormcat says:

    SB in Mass ~ Do you happen to be the same Mass SB who was friends with Trinity way back when . . . ?

  70. Stormcat says:

    Like rats in a cage?

  71. DorkyGuy says:

    “I’ve never understood why the entire female population of the world isn’t breaking down his door!”

    It would be all fun and games until their periods sync up 😛

  72. Laura says:

    I didn’t mean to offend anyone, and I’m sorry if I did. I really wasn’t commenting on anyone specifically, just trying to start a discussion.

  73. Stormcat says:

    Dorky logic ~ You gotta love it! I’ve never known this guy to be anything other than right on. I’ve never understood why the entire female population of the world isn’t breaking down his door!

  74. DorkyGuy says:

    My impression is that the double-standard doesn’t hold up as well if you consider that SDs are individuals, and tend to look for SBs with similar fidelity values to their own.

    It seems that SDs who juggle as many women as they can handle don’t care if SBs do the same. Conversely, SDs who are trying to find a special long-term connection with a special woman don’t want to feel juggled. But then they aren’t juggling either.

  75. SBinMass says:

    And while I do think its the dishonesty that is the problem-
    I think the “finding in many what she cant find in one” opinion is also fitting. Many times I think these SD-collectors would be fine with just one SD if they could find one generous enough

    Versus combining 3 allowances to get the grand total desired

  76. Stormcat says:

    Wait a minute, I guess if we both get a date we’re in for a real wild ride!!!

  77. SBinMass says:

    @Stormy- I think you should go and report back to us. We need an honest blogger report! Think of it as research for those not going

  78. NC Gent says:

    Laura – I see your point. I have always had one SB at a time so I prefer my SB to have one SD. An SB is labeled a pro when she has multiple SDs and SD is usually less harshly judged.

  79. SBinMass says:

    I also agree its the dishonesty thats the problem

    That said; I personally dont think an SD w/multiple SBs is “man in high demand” but I do think he is probably an SB-collector. Same as I feel about SBs with multiple SDs.
    But if theyre honest and it works for them, thats great.
    But its just not for me. I wouldnt call it distasteful though

  80. onyx_percula says:

    @ Laura — I am really not sure that should be a the take-away from the comments. IME most SBs do not want more than one SD and I hear things like “I would feel like an escort if I did that”. Many like having someone in their life but don’t want a full time BF and would rather get some compensation instead of just a hookup/FB.

    I assume that there was something in gtt_envy’s talks with this SB that either out right told him, one SD at a time or implied it. A lot of times too as a SD you hear things like “I have to have $1500/month or I can’t pay my rent”. So you are lead to believe. Bottom line its the dishonesty.

    @ gtt_envy — Chin up brother! I think we all have at some point(s) just want to quit the whole thing. Something may or may not help/create new problems, something to think about… Don’t be so rigid. Yes you need to cover the big items and get those locked in, but just leave the rest to happen. The fewer expectations you have the less likely it is the person/situation won’t live up to them.

  81. Stormcat says:

    Dorky ~ You would say that . . . but them you know too much! Maybe I can talk my old friend BG into going with me. Which ever one of us gets a date first gets the hotel room and the other one has to sleep on the mattress in the chevy van. Of course if neither of us gets a date what then, we commiserate in the room with a bottle of french brandy and a couple bowls of home grown ganga? How about it Beach? You up for a road trip?

  82. Laura says:

    I didn’t mean to direct the comment at gtt specifically, because I understand that he had a certain expectation, but it’s something I’ve noticed before. When a man has multiple SBs we don’t think twice because we recognize that the different women offer him different experiences that he likely can’t get with one woman. But a woman with multiple SDs is seen as being promiscuous and “just after the money” rather than someone who is simply seeking from several people what she can’t find in one.

  83. Stormcat says:

    gtt ~ exclusivity comes at a premium (ducking to avoid the tomatoes being thrown) So if you negotiated exclusivity then you got cheated. Otherwise it’s reality that some SBs make a living at pretending that they aren’t pros, and you have to look for the red flags to sort it out. Like how far in advance do you have to schedule your dates?

  84. DorkyGuy says:

    @Stormy~ You should go! Even if you go alone, I doubt you will remain alone for long.

  85. NC Gent says:

    Agreeing with JazzySB as usual

  86. JazzySB says:

    @Stormcat, I’ve heard that same story before. SA has to know that most of you have figured it out.

  87. JazzySB says:

    Laura, I think that the real crime here was lying. There are tons of SBs who have multiple “supplemental” SDs and many SDs are okay with that if you are honest about it. I can’t speak for gtt, but it seems he is more hurt that grew close to his SB while she had been lying about it.

  88. Stormcat says:

    It is just too f..ing obvious. My SA membership expires and suddenly I have 5 messages in my inbox . . . Not that I’m not going to renew . . . It is just that the tactic of using shells is so blatantly insulting that is actually makes me not want to renew.

    I’ve been thinking about going to the Toronto Ball. Just don’t want to go alone. Hotel prices seem reasonable and the tickets also. The VIP prices are way over the top though. Are masks required? I’ve got a couple of Venician masks somewhere packed away in storage, but it seems like a lot of trouble to find them at the moment. Maybe I’ll spread camouflage paint on my face and go as a warrior!

  89. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ Laura ” Why is a SD with multiple SBs simply seen as a man in high demand, but a SB with multiple SDs is distasteful?”

    Fair enough question Laura . My answer is simple –money . If a SB takes money from a SD who is helping her achieve her goals in return for the pleasure of her company then it is a relationship of sorts –an arrangement . If a SB takes money from more than one SD then it is a job. If guys are paying multiple SBs then they are players or mongers. Girls who have multiple partners who don’t pay her then she is a player as well/or slut . LOL This should generate some active conversation .

  90. Zack says:

    People trying to defend unexamined (…largely well founded, but criminal in some cases) assumptions.

    Also poor negotiating styles. 😛

  91. Laura says:

    I know I’m gonna start a fire storm here but I just can’t help myself. Excluding the dishonesty factor, why is a SD with multiple SBs simply seen as a man in high demand, but a SB with multiple SDs is distasteful?

  92. gentle(man)soul says:


    My SB was making $30,000 from me and even assuming 1/2 as much from her other 2 guys (who knows ,maybe more ? ) she was hauling in $ 60 K /yr tax free . Not a bad incentive for a 23 yr old willing to work as a pro and only see 3 Johns .

  93. SBinMass says:

    @gtt- sounds like you communicated and negotiated appropriately. sucks you got stuck with liars and SD-collectors.

    Money is addictive. And so is the other side of sugar. I wish you well in your choice of breaking the habit

  94. NC Gent says:

    @gtt — I always assume my SB has a bf even if she tells me otherwise. That way, you are never disappointed when you find out the truth. I think it would be harder for me to swallow her having multiple SDs though, because at that point, I am thinking this is a profession for her. I can understand her need for a bf because she needs to have her own life, but not multiple SDs unless she told me I wasn’t meeting her financial needs.

  95. SBinMass says:

    Sorry for the loss, DH

  96. SugarySpicey says:

    Jazzy, thanks, I miss my blog too. First day at the new job today – we’ll see how it goes, maybe I’ll be able to find a happy medium (once I dig out from under these sales forecasts).

  97. gtt_envy says:

    @SBinMass, don’t read into the “give so much” comment. I specifically target the correct list allowance amount. I line he arrangement ad nauseum before we even meet. There are no games in my arrangement. Allowance, what time will be like, frequency, everything is upfront and out in the open.

    IMO, it’s just they want more then what they are getting. I just wish if someone said “Yeah, $1500/mo is perfect for two dates month” that they really meant that. Not “$1500 from you, plus $1500 from this other guy, plus $1500 from this other guy is enough”

    Damage is done now! Alas, maybe real world free dating is better at the present time.

  98. SBinMass says:


    I think we’ve have the same Indian in our inbox

  99. SBinMass says:

    @gtt- getting lied to always sucks, and there’s really no excuse

    but seeing as you say this has happened to you multiple times, and seeing as you say ‘then why am I giving you so much’
    my line of thinking is ‘well how much are you giving her?’ and ‘what was her allowance-needed range on her profile?’

    given a truly generous allowance; I’d be hard pressed to find a reason to juggle multiple SDs.
    perhaps you think youre giving these women more than enough, but actually youre below their mark?
    do not include dinners, hotels, shopping, etc.
    Just cash allowance in hand

  100. KatPaw says:

    DH I think couple mani pedi’s is a very nice sugar treat!

  101. gentle(man)soul says:


    Instead of trying to find someone different, wouldn’t it be simpler to just become “the same” yourself? Dark Horse

    You got E Involved gtt (Emotionally Involved ) When you fall in Love,Lust ,whatever it is a game changer . Other partners then become an impossibility . If you start off knowing that she will love the one she is with ,then it’s easier to settle in to that mindset . The problem is the exchange of body fluids . If your SB is doing the same interchange with 3 other guys then you by default get to share in their DNA as well . (as well as the DNA of some STDs )

  102. DarkHorseSD says:

    Thinking about Feel Like a Number and Turn the Page comes over the burger place speakers – even better!

    Are couples pedicures good sugar treats?

  103. DarkHorseSD says:

    Instead of trying to find someone different, wouldn’t it be simpler to just become “the same” yourself?

    Being lied to is very hard to accept. But if you can say you are getting what you expect for what you give, maybe you can go on.

    If you assume the worst, can you make a deal you can live with?

  104. JazzySB says:

    @gtt, WOW. Just wow. Sorry that happened, no one wants to feel like they’re being juggled. How did you finally find out this info, she just came out and told you that she lied? I’m assuming you dropped her.

    DarkHorse, condolences. I wouldn’t worry about canceling on your potentials, they don’t seem to think you’re lieing. I try to give an SD the benefit of the doubt the first cancellation if the excuse sounds valid.
    Oh and the movie mentoring… love it! The Sunday panties were included, at least when I was a kid.

    On the subject of miscommunication between wants and needs, I think Sugary’s suggestions on implementing better user tools, more detailed profile checkbox questions, and more specificity as to what an SD/SB is looking for would dissolve a majority of the SB/SD disappointment going around. I believe her exact words were “if you could check a box that you want to give Applebee’s gift cards in exchange for BBBJTCNQNS and I could check a box that I offer complete domination, ruination, and deprevation for the bargain gift of $10K per month, then “users” could narrow us out as POTs if their interests were incompatible”. I still LOLed at that.

    Sugary, I miss your blog : (

  105. gentle(man)soul says:


    I feel your pain brother . My ATF was doing the same thing to me even though I made it clear that if she wanted variety go for it but not with me . IMHO this kind of multi -pleasuring puts her in an escort category rather than a young girl wanting mentoring and some help with bills /spoilage .

    This brings up the ever present concept of NSA and expectations talked about earlier . You can communicate your feelings but this doesn’t guarantee that she will honor them . Men aren’t the only cads in the game of love . There are cadettes as well .

    The other issue is : If a SB is providing all that you need and makes you feel like # 1 and only ,what does the reality matter ? It does to me but I am just asking for sake of discussion . .

  106. gtt_envy says:

    I know I’ve said it in the past, but I’m done with the sugar bowl. My current SB who is (was) perfect in every way I just found out has 2 other SD’s and a boyfriend. I know in NSA this isn’t supposed to matter, but in all honesty if you are juggling that much. Why am I giving you so much? I’m obviously just a number and would be better served seeing a high end escort I think.

    This is the 2nd time I’ve had a SB say they were single, I love having you around, only to find out they are just juggling and bs’ing everybody.

    When a SD feels like a number, a job to be completed, or a appointment to be kept even if her actions don’t show it………….just kills me!

    I so thought she was different! Ugh ugh ugh ugh, so frustrated.

  107. WCSD says:

    I think customs issues happen to all, and how you deal with it really determines if it will be ongoing or not. I’ve travelled with a significant other who was pulled out of a line to be questioned, abused, (which was a common occurence), etc. and when they got to me I was litterally given a high five for working in the US (US customs). But I’ve also been pulled aside and told to go through ‘regular’ customs when I have NEXUS, yada, yada. In the end, these people (from any country) are responsible for the ‘safety’ of the country based on who they let in. This gives them all a bit of a power trip. A smile, a nice attitude, whether they ‘deserve’ it or not, makes a huge difference in your ability to just role with the punches that you get that day.

  108. Brickform says:

    India is not scary! Yes, are their are some parts that are dangerous past 12A in like anyplace else, YES! Should you be safe and not be stupid because you are the only beautiful white person amongst a sea of brown and people are intrigued, YES! In every case that you heard about, the people shouldn’t have been there, it was late……Would you venture out on the south-side of Chicago late at night or really any time of the day? You would if you like to be shot at it………

    Sex outside of marriage is not condone but it is not criminalized. Ignorance should be avoided. This is not a islamic country but rather hindu and the ones that brought you the kuma sutra………keep that in mind………yes, spoken from a Indian.

    Good luck!

  109. sweetie says:

    About border issues, my experience is the opposite. The Canadians were ok, very serious, not rude, maybe a bit unpleasant the whole situation as far as attitude and long face of the officers. But coming back to the US, jeez! Talk about power trip brutes, rude, and just plain terrible behavior on the part of the US customs. To their own citizens!!! Unbelievable.

  110. NC Gent says:

    Sometimes when we think we have effectively communicated, we really haven’t. I remember a few years ago I was talking with a pot SB and early on she said she was looking for an NSA arrangement, and I responded that worked for me. We texted and talked for a few days and got closer to meeting until it came out that she thought NSA meant No Sex Allowed! True story 🙂

  111. flyr says:

    “Too many guys on SA think SD means a middle class guy who likes hot, young women (while providing nothing more than a dinner at Applebee’s in return).”

    It’s up to the SB to set the expectations early in the process. My guess is that many of the younger SB’s have the same unrealistic expectations as do the gentlemen ( or non-gentlemen) . There would be much more happiness in the bowl if people obeyed one basic rule – if you are not happy with the arrangement don’t do it. Don’t do it and then whine about it or think the other person is evil (unless they failed to fulfill their promises).

    RE promises – it’s your option to excuse one failure to perform , if you accept two then you have accepted the risk.

  112. NC Gent says:

    To be serious, it doesn’t sound like Becca actually went on a trip. Nonetheless, both SDs and SBs get some pretty ridiculous offers. It is part of the game.

    If she did go, I agree that expectations should have been communicated.

  113. flyr says:

    General – one man’s delusion might be another SB’s fantasy. Too good to be true works both ways.

    Some SB’s would be thrilled to be on one of the large cruise liners while others would much rather be on a small sailboat anchored at a remote island without the other 6,000 passengers.

    The nice thing about places like Paris is you can have it all.

    Re : money for travel – I think it depends on the SB’s needs. I’m not at all a fan of taking a trip as a first meet but it does happen and a contingency plan is good. If the SB is liquidity challenged (most have an abundance of fixed assets) then something for play or escape is nice. There are far more educated young people today who are financially challenged due to the sustained economy and huge increases in hidden taxes than I have seen in my lifetime and perhaps we SD’s need to be more sensitive to that.

  114. NC Gent says:

    @Dorky – I like how you think. Heck, I will even throw in a house to the lucky SB, and she can keep the Walmart gift card to furnish it!

  115. DorkyGuy says:

    @NCGent~ This is a perfect time to do Detroit. She could take that $50 Walmart gift card and buy a house! How many SBs can say their SD gave them a house?

  116. Laura says:

    @Devi – Exactly what I was thinking. Even if I lived in Toronto and didn’t need a hotel or much travel, I would still need a dress and cute shoes and all kinds of manicuring, and that gets expensive. Plus, let’s schedule the week before Christmas, because no one has plans in the week before Christmas!

  117. NC Gent says:

    Any hot SB want to go to Detroit with me this weekend? I have booked the honeymoon suite in the Motel 8 – it has a spectacular view of the Detroit River. I can take a hint, so I have a $50 gift card for Walmart for the lucky lady 🙂

    I hope everyone had a hot sugar weekend!

  118. DarkHorseSD says:

    Let me say something more:

    SA is clearly a mass market device, which contributes to annoying people only looking at the high end or upscale.

    If a person comes honestly offering what they can afford, someone has to make an informed decision if they accept.

    SA is not a place where amateurs should take big risks. Keep to what you can handle.

  119. SugarySpicey says:

    Horsey – that’s the impression I got as well, and I agree with her, the offers CAN be annoying, when they’re coming from a delusional man who SHOULD know that a 60 year old chubster taking a hot 22 year old on his business trip to Detroit ain’t exactly a prize – for her.

  120. DarkHorseSD says:

    I don’t see that this Becca person ever actually went anywhere. Just needed to state her strong dislike for these offers.

    Thanks everyone.

  121. KatPaw says:

    It sounds like that SD had no consideration for Becca… I’m sorry I think a least a gift$ so she had spending cash/escape money.. Lol
    Yes it’s nice to be able to “get away” but if you feel stuck in that getaway ugh! ( I’m not saying it needs to rain money on her but seriously a few hundred in an envelope “just incase” )
    Consideration and care for the SB

  122. Studio says:

    India is probably my favourite country in the world.

    Horse for course I guess.

  123. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!!!
    Spicey~ be careful, India…. scary place! you can go to jail for having sex with someone you are not married to!!!! Rape way too common and happens on busses,,,, no thanks

    Hope everyone had a great weekend!!!

  124. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr – I’d love to go to India! … with someone I adore and want to shag endlessly, or with someone who is going to provide a five star all luxury experience, gift$ and shopping. But this guy is absolutely delusional and shooting beyond his strata. So, I understand Becca’s annoyance. Too many guys on SA think SD means a middle class guy who likes hot, young women (while providing nothing more than a dinner at Applebee’s in return).

  125. flyr says:

    Spicey – first clue is if 1 billion people want out of a place it’s probably not somewhere you want to go.

  126. SugarySpicey says:

    I’m going to side with Becca that there are done delusional SDs (one who messages me regularly who comes to mind) 20-30 years older than me, overweight and underheight, and not anything anyone would consider attractive even were he six inches taller or 30 pounds lighter. He keeps inviting me to join him on trips to India, and makes it clear how much he wants/needs/expects sex – no allowance, no gift$, not even an especially nice hotel. Why would a smart, attractive, much younger woman want to join a complete stranger, and an unattractive one at that, on a trip to a three star hotel in India “just because”? Yes, there are all types of SBs out there, but the type of SB who would be excited about his offer, well she doesn’t look like me, and definitely doesn’t have all the exciting SD offers that have come my way. Calibrate your expectations gentlemen!

  127. DancingDevi says:

    My brother lived in Montreal for about 8 years, and I never had a single issue with customs there. Nor did I have any trouble with border customs coming in from NY or leaving through Niagara Falls. I see the above commentary from more than one person about Canadian customs, but it is not in line with my experiences in the slightest. Granted, I have never flown in or out of Toronto – every time I went/left there, it was by rail or car.

    I love Toronto. I wish I could go to the ball, but it’s not even an option for me at this point in time. If I could afford the plane ticket, I’d consider it, since I could always sleep on a friend’s couch at her flat. I remain perplexed by the notion that this ball is for unattached SBs and SDs find each other, considering that any SB lacking a SD will conceivably hard-pressed to get themselves there. I mean, I’m a graduate student working on a thesis – it begs the question of how SA expects SBs to make their way to Toronto.

  128. onyx_percula says:

    @ Becca — Unmet expectations are some of the most painful and frustrating. As Flyr and DancingDevi and everyone else is thinking or saying… Communications! Make sure expectations are clear to both of you BEFORE you commit to something.

    It’s ironic that so many SBs these days what it simple easy no drama NSA arrangements with nothing but quick one line or at most one paragraph messages, but are disappointed when they don’t get what they wanted. (not aimed at anyone, just saying).

    Still seeing tons of experienced SBs logging and hunting again. I love experienced SBs, talk about cut down on the shit and make it easy!

  129. Zack says:

    Well, the number for Fire & Ice didn’t reply to my voice mail. I did mean to ask if there was any discount at the Grand, but I think it’s moot at this point. Canadian border checks have been kinda arrogant for a while. I guess it’s since police can treat citizens like non-people.

  130. DancingDevi says:

    I would like to note, in general, that clear and effective communication, as well as managing expectations, is important outside of the sugarbowl, as well, It’s just of a more heightened importance in the sugarbowl than it is dating outside of the sugarbowl. We all have to learn it, to some extent, in order avoid spending the rest of our lives disappointed in and frustrated with our relationships (including platonic relationships), experiences, and day-to-day life.

    I intentionally did not direct this to Becca, not knowing her or her situation beyond her above description, because I don’t know how much it applies to her trip with her SD. I just wanted to toss my opinion out into the general mix.

  131. DorkyGuy says:

    @Becca, did he give you everything he promised you? If he didn’t promise any more than the trip, why did you go? and why would you be upset now?

    If a guy says to you “Hey, want to get away for a few days and go on a trip with me?” and that’s all he says… maybe that’s exactly what he means?

  132. flyr says:

    @Becca- Excuse me while I gag……….. Not every woman’s vision of great rests on a foundation of spas or overpriced dining, gambling etc. You’re also getting part of the blowback from an SB (not mine) who commented how offended she was that a potential SD bought her a ticket to see her daughter on her birthday on SWA as a gift not related to allowances or expectations of the wicker basket special.

    As others noted, Be honest in your communications not only of your expectations but also what’s special to you. The world is filled with SB’s of all tastes and needs.

    One of the nicest meals an SB ever prepared was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a hiking date.

  133. DorkyGuy says:

    @onyx~ This was on the front page of RealClearPolitics yesterday, and I thought of your SB’s situation:


    They aren’t revealing how they accomplish it. I suspect that they are somehow tricking the search engines to think the target site has malware or adult content. That would remove the entries you want hidden from most browser’s search results.

  134. DorkyGuy says:

    @DH~ tell her that you like your salad with the dressing on the side… and your girlfriends on the side. On the side is a very big thing for you.

  135. KatPaw says:

    Becca ~ he didn’t even give you “spending cash” a “gift” something? Huh sorry that’s just BS.

  136. gtt_envy says:

    @Becca, that is bullcrap!! I’m assuming you guys weren’t real close communication wise? Whenever a SB and I travel all the details are out in the open. Fly to Chicago, see Wicked, eat at XXX, stay at YYY, etc etc.

    Best of luck going forward!

  137. KatPaw says:

    @DH sorry for your loss hun. Condolences. ( it’s only a lame excuse when it’s a lie.. )

  138. onyx_percula says:

    @ DarkHorseSD — Only if you want them to be winners at Trivial Pursuit, oh wait, what?

    Chin brother!

  139. DarkHorseSD says:

    Does making someone under 35 watch “When Harry Met Sally” count towards mentoring?

    Anyway, SBC says she had those days of the week panties and swears there was a Sunday.

  140. Becca says:

    This is something SOOOOOOOOOOO annoying I had to post this somewhere!! But why do guys act like they going to spoil you by taking you on a vacation. Esp someplace that’s not even that amazing. Unless you get spending cash and spa then it’s amazing but a trip. So let me see. Invite me on a trip so you can hope to get laid the whole time, I leave with nothing but I got spoiled because I got to go somewhere different. Whatever!!!

  141. DancingDevi says:

    @Dorky – Thanks, I just noticed that. Studio saw it there, and it was mostly for him, so I’m going to leave it there. I appreciate your compliment, and hope that the next time I have something substantial to say that it will be just as well-received.

    @DarkHorse – Sorry to hear of your loss. I’m beginning to dread the time in my life when that happens to me. It’s been happening with a lot of my friends lately. I don’t think it’s a lame excuse, at all. I can understand why you might be concerned that someone will think you are tossing out a “lame excuse,” and I am glad no one has taken it personally. You have to take care of you before you can take care of anyone else. Really – it’s a logical imperative.

  142. Studio says:

    cavalo nero

    thoughts with you homeboy. Been there myself, hurts like fuck.

  143. DarkHorseSD says:

    I have had a major life changing event which has essentially shut down my sugar activities for some moderate length of time. It’s the sort of thing that can only happen at most twice in a person’s life, yet is also one of those lame excuses used typically on a weekly basis by people – if you know what I mean. 😉

    It feels a little weird to have it really happen and yet communicate it to potentials I had been contacting or beginning to meet. It’s just something at the back of my thoughts that here I am having to really use that lame excuse! And yet I have not suffered any real flack from anyone thus far.

  144. DorkyGuy says:

    @DancingDevi~ Welcome! The first post by any new person is automatically moderated until it can be reviewed by a volunteer moderator. After that, your posts won’t be moderated any longer.

    Too bad such a great post was at the tail end of the previous topic. Maybe repost it here, so that everyone will see it, and have a chance to reply?

  145. SBinMass says:

    I agree, nice blog pic

  146. JayeSB says:

    m yes, rather a long way to go !

    and probably expensive for student !

    is anyone into horse riding ?

  147. DarkHorseSD says:


  148. DancingDevi says:

    I’m curious how long it takes for comments to go through the moderation process. I posted one to last week’s blog about two hours ago, but it’s still “awaiting moderation.” Since it was my first comment here, I have no idea how long a comment usually takes to be reflected online. Any thoughts/opinions, based on your experiences? Does length of reply matter? I have searched the blog for information on the moderation process, but have found nothing on the topic other than SD Guru’s remarks on what can happen after the comment goes is approved and reflected in the comment thread. Thanks in advance!

  149. Chelsea says:

    Ugh, sorry, quite a long way alone***

  150. Chelsea says:

    Landon, I too am on the fence about going, I would be traveling quite always alone as well….still haven’t decided yet.

  151. frank says:

    First!! I have a very slow computer

  152. Beach_Girl says:

    I think all this information should of been with the first blog post about the SA party in Toronto.
    Landon~ Knowing who and how many will be there is impossible, SA never disclosed it before. I would be nice if SA posted the ratio of the other parties SA had, that would give people an idea of what to expect. I know some people that went to the first party SA hosted and I heard it wasn’t great… but practice does make better!!!

  153. DorkyGuy says:

    Compliments on the terrific choice of photo for the blog topic

  154. flyr says:

    congratulations to SA for the classy start to this

  155. Landon says:

    I’m on the fence about going. It’s kind of a long trip that I would be making solo. I guess a general idea of what the ratio of females to males or just a general number of people that will be there would be helpful.

  156. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…