5 years ago
Upgrading Your Sugar


As of late, I’ve seen an increasing number of Sugar Babies inquiring how to raise allowances, shopping budgets and such. An important thing to note before exploring this route is that an arrangement is an agreement set up by two people, the Sugar Baby and the Sugar Daddy. Whatever you agreed from the start is the conditions of the mutually beneficial arrangement. That includes how often you meet, whether or not trips are extra, what the allowance is and whether you get a shopping allowance or not. That being said, when changing one aspect of the arrangement then the correlating side needs to be adjusted as well.

Approach asking for a higher allowance like you would a raise at work. Think of the justification. Has the frequency of your meetings increased? Have you had to open up your schedule due to a change in his? Note that asking for an increase in allowance directly after receiving your first may be seen as unappreciative.

For Sugar Daddies, it should be the same. If your requirements have gone passed the original agreement, be the first to offer adjusting your Sugar Baby’s allowance. It helps rid the situation of any awkward negotiation and will put both of you at ease and free to carry on enjoying yourselves.

How you ask is part of the art. Keep in mind that the other person is not required to amend the agreement according to your needs. Rather it is a request to revisit the terms of the arrangement.

Have you ever upgraded your sugar?

Share your experience on this matter; was it easy or difficult?

Do you think adjustments should be allowed?

Leave a Reply

158 Responses to “Upgrading Your Sugar”

  1. Though I did n’t understood very well your title I found your article very well.

  2. So I am a new SB like quite a few here in these comments that is having the problem of an over abundance of view without messages. I do have a question about how do you relay confidence, class, or personality through written word. I’m intelligent enough to understand that the word choices I make can affect theses things but if a pot SD is only basing who I am on pics and what I have written he will never know me fully. I am a sum of all my parts. I would also like to add I am not slim/slender, beautiful/model like, however I have may positive attributes. Back to the drawing board I guess. Have a great day everyone 😀
    My profile number is 1867013

  3. SugarySpicey says:

    Jennifer, typically yes, tye arrangement begins when axe begins. That said, get the allowance first, even if it’s just moments before. You can’t repo sex and tons of the SDs on this site are big lying fakes who will poof once they get what they’re looking for. Head over to the newest blog post to get input from other sugars as to approach.

  4. Jennifer says:

    Hi everyone. I have a very important question. Ok, so you meet a potential SD and, things go great. How do you go about starting an arrangement. Let’s say you set the allowance to Y weekly basis does that start after you sleep with the SD. I’m a bit knew to this and, all the SDs seem to want sex to seal the arrangement I understand but want to know the classy way of going about starting a new arrangement.

  5. genbaby says:

    Not desperate, but definitely looking for a sd to start having fun with…

  6. Romy :) says:

    Hey all I was hoping someone might be able to give me some advice…

    I am a 3rd year student at the University of Bristol, and am doing a research project on the experiences of student sugar babies for my dissertation.

    Although I know a few personally, I wanted to find as many others as I could to interview – totally confidentially – to get a real understanding of the variety of experiences out there.

    I don’t know how many of you are students or even if you are UK based but I would love to see if you have any ideas on how to get in contact with sugar babies for the study!

    Hope to hear back from you :)

  7. Elle says:

    Am I the only person crushing on @DarkHorseSD right now?

  8. Carnaval Queen. says:

    first time posting… absolutely love the blog posts (y) :)

  9. Kellyv23 says:

    Thank you so much for all the advice and love!! Xoxo <3 I really appreciate it :)
    Lol yes I defiantly learnt a lesson :( That SD was my first meeting which he was clearly aware of. Also I was only about maybe 1/3 into the blog by then and only maybe a few days on the site. I did NOT have enough research done.
    Funny thing is that SD did say I will have to drop my usually dating morals if I want to be with him. LESSON LEARNT = No I do not 😉
    Everything happens for a reason. 😉

  10. J-Bunny says:

    Some SD’s don’t see the need to renegotiate, but some also slack and stop giving so much sugar as they get tired of their current SB, these are the guys I prefer NOT to set up an arrangement with, but sometimes it’s hard to tell how it will turn out. My local SD, is a great guy and we adjust the sugar based on when he comes to see me, and how much special attention I give him. Usually I just act myself and he takes me shopping and to diner and then gives me more spending money. However, I am seeing him later today and I will renegotiate! Tips? I’m gonna dress myself more fashionable / take more time on my makeup, the way I smell, and the way I act. (I.e being more attentive). If he can’t get the hint, then I will bring it up, but I’m going to try in a playful, seductive way :) Feedback would be nice !!

  11. SBabyB says:

    Hey all. I signed up a week ago and have gotten hundreds of views. I’ve gotten emails and a few POT SD’s, but not as many in relation to te views I get.

    Could someone check out my profile? It might be how much I’m asking for, but I’m not sure.

  12. PObky says:

    hmmm, writing a thesis, studying for my comprehensive exam & working voluntary work for Un and still unemployed. I NEED A JOB!…

  13. Monica sands says:

    Heyy I actually just wanted to connect with another sugar baby, this experience is new to me so a friend would be awesome:)
    [email protected]

  14. DorkyGuy says:

    New blog post is up 😉 Happy Turkey Day!

  15. onyx_percula says:

    @ Jersey Darling — Here are two more profiles with nice but still discrete profile pictures. 1841626 1860815

  16. Midwest SB says:

    Taz!!! ContentSB!! Hey sweets!

    Yes…the holidays do remind me of my family…including my sugar fam. I have to say looking back, that time was a blast! I loved meeting everyone, traveling and being able to spoil and be spoiled. Guess I’m a bit of a sentimental fool :)

    This is one college grad who is living up to her full potential :) Maybe they are following the long, drawn out path that fits in life’s lessons before deciding maybe college was a good idea.

  17. Ampikakaka says:

    I’m loving all the advice for Kellyv23 too!
    I totally feel for u Kelly,hope u had something nice out of 3 meetings at least!?
    I had this single SD who treated me as his *casual* girlfriend only to get cheap sex-all I got was free coffee and M&S meals basically!After while I found out the prince charming was actually aggressive compulsive lyer with attention span of a 2 yrs old who just can’t go out with anyone more than a month or two!Sad thing is I really liked him & I still can’t believe all the nice things he said was utter rubbish :(
    But hey ho,something that doesn’t kill u makes you stronger I say,I learnt lesson & I need to do Christmas shopping soon so here I am again :)

  18. DorkyGuy says:

    “I am distressed at the number of college grads working far below their potential.” -Flyr

    Agreed… but I think part of the problem is that people focus so much on a major that they don’t learn practical and social skills necessary to become successful and get that job/advance in their career.

    They should replace a semester of some stupid non-essential with a Dale Carnegie course.

  19. Jersey Darling says:

    “I am distressed at the number of college grads working far below their potential.” -Flyr

    So am I. Things aren’t looking good for my generation.

  20. flyr says:

    seasonal P4P

    It’s sad but understandable. My guess is that a lot of potential SD’s would nibble at a more classic holiday approach.

    Overall I think the economy (x – DC, wall street and SF) is worse than they want you to believe. The lack of improvement is the new norm.

    IRL I am distressed at the number of college grads working far below their potential. I guess the saving grace is that the Russian mafia is not running SA,,,,,,

  21. onyx_percula says:

    Just about everyone that has contacted me has been more like a “hit it and quit it” thing than a “hey how about a P4P arrangement till the new year?”. Things like “I need money now! I can meet in an hour.”

  22. DorkyGuy says:

    It makes sense…. Girls need $$ for Christmas shopping, and lots of lonely people this time of year.

  23. Jersey Darling says:

    Hi Midwest, Content!

    I wouldn’t think this is a bad time of year for short term. Most people want to have someone for the holidays.

  24. onyx_percula says:

    Tis the season for desperate SBs! Man I am seeing a lot of girls rather really in desperation or have a sense of it want to make super quick P4P arrangements.

  25. DorkyGuy says:

    Midwest and ContentSB stopping in to say hi? Wow! I agree with Stormy’s rhythm theory. Funny that it would happen on Thanksgiving. Does that mean the long-timers are some kind of nutty family, who all come home on Thanksgiving? Where’s the turkey?

  26. Exotic SB says:

    @Stormcat ~ did Beach say she would come to Toronto in December yet??!

  27. Exotic SB says:

    @Midwest ~ it’s Taz from the old blog days – so wonderful to see you here, sugar!

  28. Stormcat says:

    Midwest ~ Hi :) :) :)

    I think that there is a circadian type rhythm associated with the blog wherein a number of prior blog addicts feel compelled around the same time to “check back in” bc they are missing their old friends. Good to see you!

  29. gentle(man)soul says:

    Hey Midwest ! Yes ,we have interacted only here unfortunately for me . I thought I would step back in to see what everybody is up to .

  30. sweetie says:

    You too, dear! I like that lonely palm. :)
    Going to bed, it’s way too late here. Have a good night!

  31. Exotic SB says:

    …and now I am just getting tired! Lol..good to see you Sweetie! 😀

  32. Exotic SB says:

    I was playing with a few different ones hehe…not sure I am satisfied with this one either..hehe an avatar fashion show 😉

  33. sweetie says:

    Oh, damn! You just changed it :(

  34. sweetie says:

    Hi, Exotic! Quite an avatar you got there. Assuming the gents will definitely appreciate your delicate petals. Haha!

  35. Exotic SB says:

    Reading through the blog from where I last left off – November 17th I think? Wow – crazy and firey and happening blog!

    @Spicey – looks like you unleashed some SPICE back to the SA blog! Bittersweet for you without your blog I am sure, but I am excited for your new beginning!

    @Darkhorse SD – YOU…are my greatest blog crush.

    @Beach – ohh please come to Toronto in December! I would totally go if you went! It would be fun times again! 😉 Stormcat was willing to sponsor you!!!

    Onyx – glad to read that things are ‘on’ with your SB :)

    Hello to all of the wonderful sugars – old and new! I have definitely missed the blog! xo

  36. ContentSB says:

    Hey lovelies! Just stopping in to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving! Hope everyone is able to enjoy it with loved ones, and of course, watch some football! 😉

  37. flyr says:

    Hi Midwest (again) interesting adventures in sugarland. It’s too early to know the ending (other than a couple flaming crashes along the way)

    The wines of the SYV just seem to get better…….. Hard to beat a good Tinsley Sarah or some of the other great pinots .

  38. onyx_percula says:

    @ Midwest SB — Not so much anymore. My last trip was to Lord Howe Island to collect some rare clowns for a breeding program. That was 10+ years ago. I used to keep clowns and breed them, I was working on getting some of the species that aren’t tank raised figured out so they could be commercially reared instead of collecting wild. The A. percula that have extensive black markings are called “Onyx” in the trade, those and what are called “jigsaw” variants were specialties 😉

  39. Butterfly says:

    Love all the advice on here for Kelly!

    Kelly if would like more help or advice you can always visit my blog! I’ve found the comments on blog posts the most helpful (like this blog)! Just google different blogs and read on. I’ve included a link to a blog or two (including this one) that I’ve found helpful. But like I said, it was mostly the comments that have been the most helpful!

    If anyone else would like to check out my blog and see if the advice I posted on my Tips, Tricks, & Help page is actually helpful & accurate would be nice!! And I’m open to any added suggestions :)

    Anyone here with blogs I might want to follow??

  40. Midwest SB says:

    Onyx_percula – Your name both entertains and intrigues. Dive much?

    Gentle(man) soul -Have we met?

  41. 1 says:

    Onyx_percula – Your name both entertains and intrigues. Dive much?

  42. onyx_percula says:

    @ Kelly — There a crude but none the less excellent saying that serves to protect both parties… “The panties hit the floor when the sugar flows”. This protects you from misuse of your assets and protects the SD from abuse of his resources.

    Follow the other ladies advice, then employ the above rule. Worst case you slept with a guy you wanted, he turned into a asshat but you have the sugar.

  43. Midwest SB says:

    Hi Flyer! How is the sugar world treating you? Tried any exceptional wines lately?

  44. flyr says:

    HI MIDWEST>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  45. Midwest SB says:

    Holy flashbacks! Hi BG, Jersey Girl, Stormy, NC Gent, WCSD, Flyer, DG, et al!!! I stopped in for a quick read and to see how the sugar world is going. Miss it sometimes!

    RE: Allowances
    It’s easy for an SB to get caught up in the idea that if they can get $ allowance, then maybe they can get $$$ allowance. Just remember that you get out of it what you put into it. An arrangement with mutual respect and chemistry can be very beneficial to both parties. A happy SD is typically a generous SD. It’s also important to consider that if someone comes out of the gate with a large offer of an allowance, there are probably serious strings attached.

  46. Midwest SB says:

    Hey sugars!

  47. Midwest (Former) SB says:

    Holy flashbacks! Hi BG, Jersey Girl, Stormy, NC Gent, WCSD, Flyer, DG, et al!!! I stopped in for a quick read and to see how the sugar world is going. Miss it sometimes!

    RE: Allowances
    It’s easy for an SB to get caught up in the idea that if they can get $ allowance, then maybe they can get $$$ allowance. Just remember that you get out of it what you put into it. An arrangement with mutual respect and chemistry can be very beneficial to both parties. A happy SD is typically a generous SD. It’s also important to consider that if someone comes out of the gate with a large offer of an allowance, there are probably serious strings attached.

  48. SugarySpicey says:

    I agree with Flyr there, SBs have sex (for the most part) anything else is just dating, and should be viewed as such. He’s not giving sugar for the privilege of getting to know you.

  49. flyr says:

    @Kelly – Sorry to hear your story. I think you should go back to the point where you said you were ready to be his sb but not ready for sex (If i read this right) . I think the operative rule should be is that you should not consider yourself to be a man’s SB until you are ready to have sex. You can be a potential SB and keep your options open.

  50. SugarySpicey says:

    Kelly – follow my rule to keep from feeling like a cheap whore:

    If you want me to be cheap, I ain’t going to be easy; if you want me to be easy, I sure as hell ain’t going to be cheap.

    Nobody can make you feel cheap but you. So, you can be sugary sweet to everyone as long as you know, and insist, upon the sugary treatment that makes you want to drop your panties. If a man wants you to drop your panties before you’re emotionally ready, what sugary incentive might change your mind? Be open with potential SDs about where you are, and never have sex with someone unless you genuinely want to (funny how a purse full of tuition money, or a new Chanel purse can make you want to).

  51. DorkyGuy says:

    @Stormy~ Since I don’t have any new thoughts to add, I will simply restate your thoughts as my own! In fact, that was my professor, not yours.

  52. WCSD says:

    @Kelly – Bad that this happened to you, but are you sure this is the first time? This is essentially the same as the high school QB telling you that if you don’t put out he won’t be your girlfriend. Did you not learn that lesson then (or anytime along the way before deciding to enter the world of sugar)? Is this really a big surprise? Men throughout time are always after sex, some are assholes about it. As my parents told me and my sister, never have sex unless YOU want to. If the person leaves after that you still wanted to have sex, but maybe you can learn to be a better judge of character. This isn’t a sugar problem, this is just a dating problem. Same thing can (and does happen) with online dating, or even in real life dating. Time for you to put on your big girl pants, and start acting like one.

  53. JazzySB says:

    Oh Kelly, you have come to the right place. We all come here with questions, just expect brutal honesty when it comes to the answers.
    I’m sorry that happened to you, you have encountered one of the fake SDs that takes preys on and takes advantage of new SBs. Unfortunately you have learned a huge lesson first hand, never sleep with an SD unless you want to and definitely no intimacy until the arrangement is in place. I haven’t had to experience being scammed in that way, but I can imagine how you are feeling.
    You don’t need to flip the bitch switch. To prevent something like this from happening again, you have to screen your potentials better and be very clear that there’s no intimacy before arrangement. With practice, you will figure out how to be blunt and still maintain your sweet candy coating.
    I’m sure everyone here will have some great advice for you.

  54. onyx_percula says:

    @ flyr — I think you can add “tis the season for sugar to flow” too. I have so many girls hitting me up for P4P short term arrangements it’s not funny.

  55. Stormcat says:

    One of the red flags that I look for is indicators of OCD, Bipolor, or BPD characteristics. OCD traits especially irritate me. I remember a Prof in Grad School who had the habit of stating the obvious by repeating, in grandeous style, what everyone else had already said, taking credit as if he had thought of it himself. The amazing thing about that is that he never realized that all the other profs were laughing at him and as a result of that trait never took him seriously during the few times when he really did have something to say. I’ve encountered that more than a few times on this site.

  56. flyr says:

    Re 50 messages

    Your Tsunami may reflect
    new profile
    current econ and
    end of month.
    your pic (if there is one ) may also have been featured

    The universe of Diamond is probably small and you would go to the top of the default sort which is profile date ( I usually search by last logon)

  57. Kellyv23 says:

    Hey I have question!! Where can I go to ask questions cause?!? Like a direct email address?!? Cause I defiently need some help!!

    I had agreed to be a SD’s SB… After one meeting he said he wanted me to be his, so I agreed. I told him I was not comfortable to sleep with him so fast after one meeting. In which he responded telling me I was not ready to be with him. In which I responded no I’m ready to be your SB. So next meet I slept with him. I’m the idiot! After seeing me three time he decided he was not ready to be a SD!!! WTF seriously?!? After like pretty much blackmailing to enter my temple!!!

    I declined others SD’s for this individual!! Like wtf?!? I feel like a cheap whore and that was my first damn experience!!!

    I’m super sweet but now I feel I need to become a bitch.

  58. NC Gent says:

    @gtt_envy – it is very easy to go over 50 messages the first day or two that your account becomes premium, after that, I agree more than 50 messages is quite a bit. Also, the goal of the block is spam prevention, and is 50 messages in one day really spam, especially when there are multiple messages to just a few SBs?

    Anyways, if you email support, if you email support, they lift the ban on your account when they review your emails and see you aren’t spamming.

  59. DancingDevi says:

    Oh, and as far as Skype goes, at least now I have some understanding of why some pot SDs poofed when I mentioned having a conversation (meaning just that) via Skype. I wanted to hear their voice, since certain timbres get me squirming in my panties more than others, without having to involve an exchange of phone numbers. Also, pictures give an idea of what a person looks like, but they don’t give any indication of how they sound (diction, syntax, vocal qualities, breath, etc.). I know first-hand how many people write differently than they talk (for better or worse), so I find an actual conversation to be very illuminative.

  60. DancingDevi says:

    @Jersey Darling – My comment on it always being up in a bun was more in respect to my photos, since all of my photos of me in the past few years were taken by friends while out and about (therefore, my hair was usually up). I’d love to have some nice shots with it down, as I do wear it loose from time to time (or in ponytail, or pigtails, or braid(s), or curly fall, etc.). Waist-length hair is still fairly unusual, these days, from what I’ve seen.

    @onyx – Thanks for the thoughts! They gave me some ideas. *devi-lish grin*

  61. DorkyGuy says:

    Diamond Guy, are you a Diamond Club SD? That would definitely explain the volume.

    I tried Diamond Club a couple years ago, and experienced similar volume, and encountered the same cap in trying to respond. I suggested to SA that they should eliminate the message cap on Diamond Club members, but I don’t think the suggestion went anywhere. Maybe if you made the same suggestion as a current member, it might get some traction.

  62. onyx_percula says:

    @ JazzySB — It would be nice to do, but it would also just be from a subset of perspective too.

    @ Diamond Guy — As was mentioned 50+ unsolicited incoming is an outlier for sure unless you are Daniel Craig’s twin 😉 What hasn’t been mentioned is just like a pot SB needs to tailor her profile (pictures and content) to attract the right SD for her, sounds like you need to do the same thing. If I remember right you can turn off their ability to wink at you too.

    A suggestion if the volume remains high… Use your inbox like the rest of us use the advanced search. Open another tab for “Who viewed my profile”. No picture, delete, didn’t view my profile delete… hmmm now do any of these subject lines plus pictures catch my interest, no delete. That should leave you with a manageable handful of messages to deal with. You can also put a not on your profile saying you have been inundated with messages and would like to respond to everyone but simply can’t. If you are getting a consistent “theme” in the messages that is incorrect, put a blurb in the bottom of the profile discouraging it.

  63. gtt_envy says:

    @Diamond Guy……If you are sending out 50 messages a day there is a problem and it’s not Sa.com.

    I’ve been a member for 3 almost 4 years and have sent 670. You are sending 50+ a day…….seems very very strange to me.

  64. NC Gent says:

    DiamondGuy — same thing happened to me. If you email support they will lift the restriction from your account. I always hide my account, because I have never received an unsolicited email from someone that I was interested in pursuing – maybe it is just me, but I like to chase :)

  65. Stormcat says:

    Diamond Guy ~ That’s an usually large number of unsolicited messages from SBs. Regardless, it’s been my experience that SBs who send out such messages are not the ones I would have picked had I been reviewing profiles that are specific to my criteria. My suggestion is to not worry about trying to answer them at all. Just delete them wholesale. Do your own search and message the ones who fit your specific desired requirements. As far as SA limiting the number of messages you can send, I too experienced that in the beginning before I got on to how to use the site. It isn’t so much total messages sent but frequency/rate of sending that triggers the limitation. The safeguard is there to protect members from spam. Cut and past too fast and you get cut off. If you are taking the time to select your interests and write thoughtful messages to them you won’t trigger the filter. Good luck and by the way, welcome to the blog!

  66. Ampikakaka says:

    Hello my 1st post here so please b gentle 😉 & excuse 4 my bad non native tongue English!
    I originally joined here while back with private pix only,I only recently uploaded
    my public pic.So far I got 300+ wink/msgs but God am I t only unlucky 1??
    It’s understandable 2 shave off few years but not 20+…70+ just doesn’t look 47!! Adding extra 5 inches is a bit ambitious even with t boots Simon Cowell wears,
    calling 4 st over weight slim? or how can call themself millionaire entrepreneur/financier when his job is waiter/school teacher & majority of them just like 2 talk about sex sex sex,how many dick pic do I need 2 receive,they r not even good ones!! lol.
    Eventually (I thought)I got a decent SD&was v happy w him….until I found out he was aggressive compulsive lyer ahhhh!
    I now have breeze block thick skin & trying 2 b up beat but any good advice&cheering up will b apprecieted :) :)

  67. flyr says:

    “My main problem with it is I hate not showing my face. I feel like it’s important in making a connection and one of my better features. Oh well!”

    I have seen a number of photos that show the beauty of the face without it being identifiable If I see one ill post the profile id.

  68. JazzySB says:

    @Onyx and Flyr, Reg “the list”and “must read” page for SBs. That sounds like a great colab for you guys. SBs could really benefit from all the useful information you two have. I’m curious myself, would love a peek into an experienced SD’s mind.

    Haven’t seen Sugary around for a while, she must be putting 1,000% into her new job.

  69. NC Gent says:

    I wouldn’t eliminate an SB because she wants to Skype. I am a huge fan of skype now – it has completely eliminated the surprise first face-to-face meetings. Also, the mere mention of Skype sends the catfish to deeper waters :)

  70. onyx_percula says:

    @ Laura — A friend, mentor and one of the best bosses I ever had taught me quite a few life lessons, by example and explicitly. The one I think I have employed more than any other is to take the emotion out of it. It allows one to see both sides, all sides, it allows for a welcoming of understanding and happiness.

    @ DancingDevi — I can’t find the profile right now, but there is/was a girl in PHX from HI that has hair longer than she is tall that had some really killer shots. Two were the classic “wind in the hair against a incredible background” and one was just hot as hell… nude sitting on a stool her hair wrap across the breasts, around the waist/butt and over the thigh. One of those OMG HOT PG13 shots. So show it up and down, have fun dear!

  71. Jersey Darling says:

    @Devi – Why have such wonderfully long hair only to keep it hidden in a bun? I’d recommend a sleek ponytail at least to show off the length. I’d kill to have my hair longer… it just touches my waist, but only barely!

    Thanks guys for your ideas on profile pics. I have a couple photos in mind – hopefully I’ll have time this week to take them :)

    My main problem with it is I hate not showing my face. I feel like it’s important in making a connection and one of my better features. Oh well!

  72. Laura says:

    You were very generous but I felt you were completely reasonable as well

  73. onyx_percula says:

    @ Laura — (blush)…

  74. Laura says:

    @ Onyx – just got around to reading comments on the last blog and have to say, I love you!

  75. DancingDevi says:

    @onyx – Oh, so it’s long but not really long. I’m thinking I may need a fan or stiff breeze, if I want a shot with my hair down that doesn’t make me look like a yeti (you know, covered in hair). I’ll keep my thinking cap on. Thanks. :)

  76. onyx_percula says:

    @ DancingDevi — Think button up flannel shirt tied up. This exposes the small of the lower back and the waistline. Her hair reaches down about 6″ below where you would expect to find a bra if she worn one 😉

  77. Butterfly says:

    I just thought I drop a line and say hi! I’ve been following the blog and soaking up tons of information! The regular commenters have been super helpful since I’m new to this :)

  78. DancingDevi says:

    Thanks for the notes on photos for Jersey – I found them very useful. I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with my hair during my photo session next month. I almost always wear it up in a boring bun unless there’s some reason to get more creative with my updo. If I have it down in a photo, I am not sure they’ll see anything but my hair, since it’s about mid-thigh.

    @onyx – How did your SB#1 have her hair down so that it exposed her back? I’m trying to picture this in my head and I can’t.

  79. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ Dorky

    Blog gods please exchange my Email with Dorky

  80. flyr says:

    @onyx “Flyr — Meh… I am seeing more and more friends doing sugaring together. Many of the pot SBs I have met in the last few months wanted to meeting for a video chat before meeting in person. It’s just the nature of that format for it to get a little hot sometimes. So I wouldn’t automatically say that profile is a pro or cam girl working it. Might be just a n00b-sb that has a friend that likes to play too and is shy and wants to start with Skype before meeting”

    Great points. With this particular one it was more that she had done “many arrangements with her girlfirend”

    it’s the large scale plural that set off the alarm.

    Re photo – another great point – if you have something special that will attract the type SB you want then flaunt it and exclude the static.

  81. onyx_percula says:

    Ref pictures — Ducks belong on the water, in the air or on my plate, not your face 😉 Save a duck!

    SB#1 is a very private person, her profile picture was a selfy wearing short shorts a flannel shirt tied up exposing the small of her back and waist, her long hair down her back highlighting by position her absolutely incredible legs and ass. Who needs tenis player legs/ass when you can have triathlete legs and ass!

    Honestly if SB#1 had posted the typical pictures I seen in profiles I likely wouldn’t have contacted her. The same can be said about the content of her profile, very generic and frankly looked half done… She contacted me and absolutely blew me away with her communications and seduced me with her personality and intelligence. I tease her the best phone sex I ever had was her telling me about one of her research papers, lol.

  82. flyr says:

    Re Pictures

    Onyx is right on great eyes and a smile are the perfect place to start

    I would also step back and approach it as a new product introduction

    What’s great about this product

    Who are the consumers we want to reach ( perceive value, have need and resources) There’s no benefit in numbers of tire kickers.

    What attracts the target / what creates desirability , what creates the perception of scarcity

    What relieves their concerns

    What crates action

    General thoughts (mostly kindergarten stuff for Jersey)
    Nothing but smiles unless you are looking for a subbie
    Simplicity in the clothing, hairstyle and background unless it is a particularly attractive outfit. The product is you, don’t detract from it.

    Adjust the level of sensuality to the target market and degree of patience you are pursuing. A silk blouse of perfect color for your skin and hair, showing a little cleavage (perhaps a single diamond or pearl necklace) and perhaps a trace of nip underneath can be more effective in attracting an upscale SD than nearly naked. It also speaks to your intellect, taste and discretion. Leaves anticipation of discovery.

    If your target SD is older then the photo background might be picked to remind him of his younger days when life was simpler.

    Reasonably consistent hair style and color across the pix. Few husbands, boyfriends, lovers etc ever woke up and said to their partner – why don’t you change your hair color, hair style or rearrange the furniture today. Men generally like predictability in their castle.

    I think there are good reasons not to have a full facial photo. A partial profile , face partially covered by hair etc are fine and in some cases even more effective . My favorites are those profiles with two faces blotched out and then two very recognizable photos.

    I do not know if SA collects the information (other than gross hits) but there would be an incredible amount of information available matching hits on the photos of featured SBs vs demographics of the of the sd.

    Jersey – this should be kindergarten stuff for you ……… follow your instincts

  83. Luckystarr says:

    Yes!!!! Love this blog

  84. KatPaw says:

    Meow hello sugars.. Been very quite in here where is everyone?

  85. Diamond Guy says:

    Hi all, I’m new to the site (1 week) and new to the blog (right now). Just wanted to get your take… I’m being flooded with emails, about 50 a day, along with all the winks (delete delete delete). I’m trying to be a good guy and respond to all the incoming emails with a short nice email back if there’s any evidence at all that they read my profile. Today for the first time I tried to send some outgoing messages, and promptly hit an invisible email limit that blocks me sending any emails for 24 hours. Not only does that leave me not responding to the next 50 emails (plus 20 already in my inbox I hadn’t gotten around to), it takes me to the end of the weekend and then my time is elsewhere anyway.

    Anybody else run into this? The problem now is that the easiest solution (once I’m unblocked) is going to be to just hit delete instead of being a nice guy. No wonder people don’t respond to messages.

    Other than that, great site, great experience so far. And I love this blog!

  86. onyx_percula says:

    @ Jersey Darling — Beautiful smiling eyes.

  87. Jersey Darling says:

    @Onyx – Thanks for the profile suggestion! So that picture would entice you into writing amongst the hundreds of other profiles on this site? Why?

  88. flyr says:

    ” i also spend a lot of time doing arrangements with one of my other cute, sugar baby friends. so if you want something that involves two girls then that’d be great. i’d also be willing to do skype sessions, cam date”

    the terms “a lot of time” “doing arrangementS” and cam date, gave it an industrial debutante feel, as did the 18 going on 35 photo.

  89. ricklad101 says:

    @onyx I would still avoid any girl who is doing this with her friend it screams pro. The woman who want to keep thing’s anonymous,because they have normal friends or relative’s seem to be the most normal and quality SB’s. Girls who feel more comfortable doing this out in the open tend to be closer to psycho territory. I am speaking in generalizations of course

  90. SBinMass says:

    onyx- The best aspect of the sugarbowl is there are so many different flavors. Different people looking for different things. And as long as everyone is happy- then its that perfect arrangement for them

    But for me; SBs dont ‘land BFs’. Or should I say, when/if they do; they stop being SBs. Now theyre GFs. Or at least to me anyway

    When either party downgrades from twice weekly to twice mthly; thats a huge change in the arrangement to me. Worthy of complete re-negotiation or even ending it. Twice weekly might not be enough sex, personal attention, or the reduction in allowance might make it less than mutually beneficial.

    There are certainly many motivations for SBs, and I am certainly one of those who falls into the sexual turnon of the younger/older dynamic… but my personal experience has taught me I can easily find that dynamic sugarfree. I’m in the bowl for an additional reason, and I assume the other SBs are too 😉

  91. DancingDevi says:

    @DarkHorse – I can’t help but ask, “Have you ever danced with a devi in the pale moonlight?”

    @flyr – She sounds like a winner! When’s your date with the professional unicorn twins?

    @Jersey Darling – I’m planning the same thing, myself. I have all of three decent photos of myself from the past few years, so it’d be nice to have some nice shots of myself to choose from.

    @DorkyGuy – How wonderfully wise both of your grandmothers are! I was named after both of mine – I learned much from one about how to be a lady, have fun being myself, and dance ballroom styles; the other grandmother’s largest educational contribution was a life lesson in why I didn’t want to get married very young and rapidly produce babies.

  92. onyx_percula says:

    @ Jersey Darling — Here is a profile with IMO a killer profile picture… 1835094 Too bad she is looking for a BF and not a SD… DAMN! DAMN! :(

    @ SBinMass — Downgrades… meh it really depends. A good example is having a SD that you meet twice a week, get-aways, etc and a $3k/month allowance. His responsibilities change and he can only meet twice a month now. If you want to continue the arrangement you should take a downgrade.

    I had a pot that ended up landing a doctor BF instead of a SD, lol that wanted to start out high because she just moved no job living off savings and looking hard. Once she was “on her feet” she wanted half as much.

    I had a SB half her allowance when she got her shit straight. When we started she was dependent on me, got back to work, got bills/debts caught up, built a nest egg. A few months later the allowance stopped, the relationship slowly tapered off and we still “hookup” from time to time.

    I think something that is important here that has not been mentioned is the value of the arrangement to the SB. As has been mentioned repeatedly by SBs on the blog that they value the relationship with their SD because they truly like them, they like the older/younger dynamic, or the NSA dynamic, or the sneaky dynamic, or whatever. The gift$/allowance is just sweet icing on the cake.

    @ Flyr — Meh… I am seeing more and more friends doing sugaring together. Many of the pot SBs I have met in the last few months wanted to meeting for a video chat before meeting in person. It’s just the nature of that format for it to get a little hot sometimes. So I wouldn’t automatically say that profile is a pro or cam girl working it. Might be just a n00b-sb that has a friend that likes to play too and is shy and wants to start with Skype before meeting.

    @ Flyr — Ref “the list”; We should put together a “must read” page for SBs, include the list.

  93. DorkyGuy says:

    @DancingDevi~ She was a truly wise woman!

    My other grandmother is 97 years old, and still living. Her most useful piece of wisdom, (and probably the cause of her long life) is as follows:

    “Sex is like a game of cards. If you don’t have a partner, you better have a damn good hand.”

  94. Jersey Darling says:

    I suppose I’ll have to do a mini photo shoot to get the right pics!

  95. flyr says:

    @Jersey – I have seen a number of profile photos with a partial face – enough to see a smile and sense a real person and with enough of the body to simply communicate attractive, classy young woman. With your profile I think the primary mission of the photo is to reassure rather than to sell.

    Not sure if that’s an adequate explanation. I would not use an identifiable photo. Perhaps a recognizable institutional building in the background

  96. Jersey Darling says:

    @flyr, Sounds pro-ish to me (cam girl + bringing a “friend).

    So…. I’ve actually dusted off the old SA profile. Surprise! I have a billion other things going on in my life right now, but I figure it can’t hurt.

    Such a tough decision on if I should go with face photos or not. If I don’t post a picture of my face it’s more discreet, but that leaves me posting pictures of my body which leads to the wrong type of attention. I refuse to use a blurred face as (in my opinion) it indicates that I know I’m doing something wrong, which makes one look even guiltier if they’re found out. I could do the carefully obscured face shot, but then that again leaves all the attention on the body. Decisions!

  97. flyr says:

    Makes me wonder if anyone at SA really looks at profiles .

    This is the what I am looking for discussion from an 18 year old, rather stunningly endowed young woman who unfortunately has eyes and facial lines that appear to be 18 going on 35

    “18 year old girl with a lot of free time to spend with you. i’d rather not have anything serious, not saying something with no strings attached, but i do like space. i really love to travel so if you live a ways away it wouldn’t be a problem for me. are you someone looking for two girls to take care of? i also spend a lot of time doing arrangements with one of my other cute, sugar baby friends. so if you want something that involves two girls then that’d be great. i’d also be willing to do skype sessions, cam dates i guess you could call it. like i said, i love to travel. i love to go out to shows, music festivals, i need money for an apartment.”

  98. SBinMass says:

    Downgrades are not acceptable. I’d assume that to be a forewarning of ‘he’s just not that into you’ or this arrangement is nearing its end. Whatever is first agreed to can be negotiated for increase but not a downgrade.
    Now if the sb isnt holding up their side of the agreement… thats different

    @Trans Emily- Hi Neighbor! :-)

  99. DarkHorseSD says:

    The Devi is in the detail.

    The word detail is used in the URL to view the opposite sex. It’s samedetail for your sex.

  100. DancingDevi says:

    @Dorky – lol! Your grandmother was such a sage! I’ll be sure to whisper my thanks into the next wind headed towards the Happy Dancing Grounds. 😉

  101. DorkyGuy says:

    I don’t have such magical powers!

    However, my grandmother once passed on some wisdom that may be helpful. In her dying breath, she said:

    “The url that you use to view your own profile is not the same as the url that others use to view your profile. If you want to post a link to your profile, use the following url: [img]https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/detail.php?id=1753681[/img]”

  102. DancingDevi says:

    @flyr or anyone else – Perhaps the issue is with the link? Feel free to find me – 1753681 is my profile number.

  103. DancingDevi says:

    @flyr – Perhaps, although I would be confused as to why Dorky might do that. Still, I suppose anything is possible. I did notice, when I checked just now, that my profile viewed count has gone up since I changed my private photo, so it must be visible to some site members – or, it’s counting as views people trying to see it and being told it’s not available. Do you think hiding it and making it visible again might change anything? I’m stumped.

  104. flyr says:

    I get a profile not available message – perhaps Dorky has built an electronic fence around the playpen

  105. DancingDevi says:

    @flyr – That’s news to me! It shows up for me as “approved.” I recently changed a private photo but I didn’t change my profile! How is it that it’s not available? What very disconcerting news . . .

  106. flyr says:

    DD – I see your profile is not available

  107. flyr says:

    @ gentleman “We could all expand that list b”

    I think a lot of the SB’s would be surprised at what’s on the lists.

    Re 35 and over the hill – the over 35 SB may be too old for some, but she’s treasured by a lot and perhaps those who are looking for a partner in the adventure rather than a pet.

  108. DancingDevi says:

    @flyr – Thanks, I’ll take that into consideration. I’ve linked my profile to my username here, in an above post. I could definitely use some better pictures, as I don’t really have any good recent photos of myself. I have the only recent photo of myself that shows of my figure without clearly showing my face publicly, and the only decent photo of my face that’s recent set to private. I am certainly open to feedback on how to condense my profile without leaving out anything important to who I am and what I can provide.

  109. flyr says:

    @DD–“”I’d ask for some feedback on my profile, but I’m sure it’s horribly long for some folks. I thought about condensing it some, but that would be inauthentic of me and any pot SD/SM considering me should know that I’m loquacious anyway.”

    Brevity in a profile says you care enough about the reader to condense your message. A long wordy profile is like running the hundred yard dash in heels and carrying a backpack loaded with bricks.

    The objective of the profile is to hook the fish (or at least get a nibble) not land it.

    If you are not comfortable posting your profile number here among friends perhaps ask the blog-mistress to send your email address to a couple of folks.

    Focus on the need to create the vision and the feeling of how your sugar’s life will change. That should be something which attracts your vision of achievable sugar.

    You might get one of the better tech magazines and take 15 minutes to just look at the adds. The amount of white space, the simplicity of the text , the careful selection of images, the message they they are trying to convey.

    Are the pictures the best you can get for communicating your true quality.

    Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication

  110. DancingDevi says:

    @DH – I would think that a number of SDs would be thrilled with a mid-thirties SB. We have a better chance of being sane, having our lives in order, possessing solid skills in the bedroom, understanding the value of time and money, knowing how to effectively manage our time, and we’re still young enough to be hot/sexy AND having the energy to do just about anything. That’s what I would think, anyway, but I’ve yet to see any evidence to support such thoughts.

  111. DarkHorseSD says:

    For my part, SBs around 36 can be quite awesome.

  112. DarkHorseSD says:

    Looks like it was a glitch because the allowances are back.

  113. DancingDevi says:

    @onyx – I’ll just be brave and link it to my blog handle in this comment. That should work, right?

  114. onyx_percula says:

    @ DancingDevi — What is your profile number, or if you don’t want it here, the blog mods can give you my email address. I would be glad to take a look.

  115. DancingDevi says:

    I still see a “What I expect” line on my profile, so I am confused about this chatter over SA removing expected allowances from profiles. Perhaps the change simply hasn’t rolled over to my profile yet?

    @gentle(man)soul – aaaaaand, 10) “You can’t possibly imagine until you meet them.” 😉 I suspect that category could be positive or negative, depending on how astoundingly awesome or insane said SB is.

    @all – I’d ask for some feedback on my profile, but I’m sure it’s horribly long for some folks. I thought about condensing it some, but that would be inauthentic of me and any pot SD/SM considering me should know that I’m loquacious anyway. I don’t have much to add to conversation about the blog contents, though – I’ve yet to find one SD/SM that is interested in holding up their side of things so re-negotiation hasn’t been as much of an issue. Perhaps they think that because I am older (you know, an astoundingly ancient 36) that I have no sense of self-worth or that I should just be grateful to have anyone interested in me. It’s a fallacious line of reasoning, if that’s the case. I don’t HAVE to do this any more than any SD/SM – sure, things are tight right now, but I’d rather be happy and living frugally than feel like I have to have a particular person in my life to make ends meet.

  116. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!!!
    What do you all mean no more allowances??? on profiles? Mine is still there!!! I missed something!
    Hope you all have a great night!

  117. DarkHorseSD says:

    Wow. Look at that. No more allowances. Any official statements or changes in rules/terms of service?

  118. Stormcat says:

    gentle(man)soul ~ You’ve been missed . . . as for me I’ve been navigating some stormy waters for a while but see things resolving. Travelling to Australia for business soon. lets exchange e-mails and I’ll fill you in on the details. Blog moderators, please give gentle(man)soul my email address if he wants it.

  119. onyx_percula says:

    Flyr et al are dead on about allowance, its about quality above all else. Example… a very beautiful sexy pot SB wants to meet once a week at her place and talk, relax and have oral sex. She wants a $100/meeting. Another average but nice pot SB wants to “meet as often as possible (2+ times a week)”, will treat you like a king and give you everything you want with a smile on her face. She wants a $2k/month allowance. So based on quality and quantity one will be a superior SB…

    It all comes down to my favorite thing to throw out there, communication is key. SBs just be honest and explain while you need more or different allowance. But realize many SDs will say no if you are spending unwisely. Example I had a SB ask for an additional $500/month “because she was having trouble making ends meet”. I refused. Why? She was out at the bars/clubs EVERY night of the week. She quit partying and suddenly found she was in great shape at the end of the month, lol.

    Anyone besides me have a SB ask for less for the same?

  120. gentle(man)soul says:


    What’s up Dude ? Hope life with all my bros has been happy and productive ( : Have a good and loving weekend all . See you next week

  121. DorkyGuy says:

    “Dorky ~ So how are we SD’s going to be able to detect GPS now that SA has removed the “Expected Allowance” field from SB profiles?”

    I suppose we will need a combination vibrator/metal detector. Or, maybe an airport security wand.

    I should point out that I don’t dislike GPs out of discrimination against GPs specifically. I just have an involuntary reaction to any circular object made of gold.

  122. NC Gent says:

    ATF = all time favorite

    I saw they removed the allowance ranges — thought that was very interesting. I wonder what the motivation was? The other site doesn’t have those ranges and I thought the women on their were much more realistic on allowance amounts when they weren’t biased by the set ranges. The other site doesn’t indicate tobacco use status which I just abhor!

  123. Stormcat says:

    gentle(man)soul ~ hey dude :) good to see you again!

  124. Stormcat says:

    Dorky ~ So how are we SD’s going to be able to detect GPS now that SA has removed the “Expected Allowance” field from SB profiles?

  125. DarkHorseSD says:

    Oh my! I think I blushed a little.

    Were they at least well spoken in the manner in which they called you a racist?

  126. DorkyGuy says:

    @DH~ GPS=Golden Pussy Syndrome

  127. DarkHorseSD says:

    Not drama, desperation.

  128. DarkHorseSD says:

    ATF was the other.

    Those posts about drama were really good.

  129. DarkHorseSD says:

    There are terms I don’t know, GPS is one. There was another the other day on the last article but I don’t remember it.

  130. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ A Brand New sb!

    Would you publish your SA # ? I’m sure many members would be happy to critique your presentation constructively .

    If not then look at some of the other SBs’ profiles to see how they present themselves .

    What I look for when I am looking for a new SB is:

    1)looks(yes ,superficial I know) Make sure your picture is a clear and realistic representation of the real you . No picture is bad and many guys will pass .

    2)humility . I don’t like arrogance like “I’m the best you will ever have -don’t be stupid and miss me ”

    3)confidence “I am a good student but am struggling to make ends meet —”

    4) coherent narrative and short to the point . Illiterate folks don’t appeal to me so make sure your writing is readable .

    5) Avoid dogmatism –“If all you want is sex then don’t bother writing —”

    6) On the other hand state unemotionally your drop dead requirements such as race,creed, sex,gender , etc. No point in wasting my time if you don’t like white guys

    7) Avoid GPS . It’s OK to demand a high money limit but many SBs are willing to adjust their expectations if they meet someone they like .Be realitic .. I want $1000000 /month from my work but it is not likely to happen . Super wealthy guys who can afford big bucks will want to impress their Baby anyway no matter what she asks for . Men like to separate themselves from the rank and file rabble by proving that they can pony up the quan .

  131. Jersey Darling says:

    @Dorky – LOL I can see that happening, that’s hilarious! Of course, you know how you meant it and she shouldn’t have been so sensitive. If someone tells me I’m well spoken, I take it as a compliment, not a potential insult. In fact one of my favorite compliments that I get a lot is that I speak well publicly – I’m always flattered by that!

    Oh and all this interviewing is with the same company. Two months and counting! I haven’t even applied to other opportunities yet, but if this falls through I will – and I’ll just have to take time with my move.

  132. DorkyGuy says:

    @Jersey~ Just include a link to the blog on your resumé! They will see how thoughtful, intelligent, and well spoken you are, hire you in a blink!

    As an aside… I once tried to compliment a person by saying they were well spoken. The person happened to be black, and said I was being racist…. and the rest of that forum agreed. Evidently the phrase “well spoken” has a *negative* racial connotation somehow?! It is so hard to keep track of the rules that I don’t even try any longer.

  133. Jersey Darling says:

    Aw! You all sure know how to make a girl feel special :)

    @Dark – I haven’t moved yet. Still interviewing. Hoping to get there sooner rather than later, but it all depends on how the employment search goes!

  134. gentle(man)soul says:

    Thanks Dorky ! “Back” is a relative thing but I wanted to see what was shaking in the Ivory Tower of Sugar hood . LOL

    @WCSD You got it ! That is the consummate profile of desperation in a SB. To be avoided at all costs

    @ Devi Aaaand 8) all of the above , and 9) None of the above .

    @Emily ” I’ve never had trouble getting extra money out of men ”
    I’m sure you didn’t mean it like it sounded . SD’s don’t like to feel used and abused LOL We are very sensitive ,communicative ,and caring souls . What you probably meant is that your SDs love you so much that they would do anything to help you in your time of need .

    @flyr We could all expand that list but it is a good guide for sure

  135. Noob_SD says:

    Transgendered Emily … special liking to a girl ….

    That is the key – be “likeable”. I would separate this from infatuation/love – which might also make men take a “liking”.

    I see this at work routinely when evaluating people at work. Often you will see some people that are neither the most hard-working, nor the most intelligent of problem solvers … get ahead at work OR continue to dodge the axe. BTW, not talking about the brown-nosing kind. What I am talking about are those people that make you feel, you want to be around them.

    Research supports it: http://www.forbes.com/sites/keldjensen/2012/04/12/intelligence-is-overrated-what-you-really-need-to-succeed/

  136. I’ve never had trouble getting extra money out of men I’ve been in arrangements with in the past. These men who become Sugar Daddies take a special liking to a girl and are willing to bend over backward to help her. It’s just a matter of finding these men. If he’s already your daddy then he’ll very likely give you more money if you just ask. If he doesn’t give you more, then he’s probably been contemplating breaking up with you.

  137. zack.5000 says:

    @A Brand New sb! I meant make an inquiry as to what they did not find compelling about your profile copy.

  138. zack.5000 says:

    @A Brand New sb!
    Not knowing what your marketing message consists of, I can’t help evaluate your message and photo(s)….although I am pretty good at writing ads. I wonder if you could pay to become a premium member, and send email inquiry to some of your winks (if this is allowed on SA). Just a thought. Good Luck!!!

  139. WCSD says:

    @DH – For desperate SBs I think of the following:

    “I need $X or my phone/power/heat/cable will be turned off”
    “My car just broke down and I can’t afford to get it fixed”
    “I need $Y or I’m going to be evicted at the end of the month”

    These are people who are desperate (or playing a game to appear desperate) in my mind. They can’t live within their budget, resulting in drama, resulting in desperation, which I am not interested in. Now, have I had a SB that I’ve been in a relationship with for a long period of time, that has had an event in their life and I’ve helped out? Of course. But to me that is me helping a friend. But I can’t tell you the number of pots that I’ve run into that have stated the above to me as essentially their opening line, and that is desperation to me. And that, I have no interest in. If you want them, have at them. As for an employer hiring a desperate employee, I don’t get this reference. I don’t ‘hire’ my SB, she is NOT my employee. I don’t relate those at all. From a business standpoint, a desperate employee (to a limit, I don’t want them stealing from me or the company) is a great thing! They are loyal, work hard, etc. But sugar is not employment for me. In actuality, having sugar as being your employment (only source of income, etc.) falls into my definition of a desperate SB….

  140. flyr says:

    Flying the SA airways is always safer when you run the checklist

    Go- NoGo Items
    0 – Drugs or alcohol dependency
    0- Excessive Anger
    0 – Heavy smoker
    0- Needs therapy
    0-Attitude of Entitlement
    0-Lacks Intelligence
    0-Warped ( “I’m a very open minded woman, no Christian bigots or right wingers”)
    0- Serious deceit in issues that are reasonably discussed early in screening.
    0 – Recently separated from husband who owns more than 10 guns

    _____ Positive (if the photo has a mean look I’m not going further)
    _____ Character
    _____ Attractive
    _____ Interests beyond self gratification / Hopefully will introduce me to new things
    _____ FUN
    _____ Sensual (vs are you done yet)
    _____ Respects time
    _____ Her life is improved through the addition of sugar
    _____ Secondary benefits to arrangement beyond sex

    _____ Relatively Happy

  141. DancingDevi says:

    @gms –
    I think you forgot 7) All the random and scattered individuals who do not clearly fall into one, much less more than one, of the above categories. 😛

  142. DorkyGuy says:

    It is very nice to see a gentle(man)soul! Welcome back to the Hotel California!

  143. sweetie says:

    Jersey, you’re getting a lot of attention from the blog SDs. Why don’t you honor them with your lovely presence?

  144. gentle(man)soul says:


    Desperation ?

    What we are talking about IMHO is the quality of person as well as their circumstances in life . There are 6 types of SBs I have come across over the years: 1) college girls -young women 18 to 24 who are reasonably intelligent and motivated to get ahead in life by improving themselves . Their needs run the gamut from frivolous extras to full tuition and support . Many are supported by their families for the basics and need exciting experiences and luxuries . 2) HS Grads working a low paying job and frequently single mothers who need supplementation of their inadequate income ; 3) Professionals pretending to be amateur looking for more Johns ;4) Desperately poor ,non working frequently drug/alcohol addicted women who need total support and constitute the neediest group. Often their baby daddy is in jail or totally missing and often are raising children against all hope of making it ; 5) MILFs in their 30s on up who have enough to support themselves but want a little extra ,need love ,sex ,and excitement .and finally 6) The GPS ladies who are entitled, worthy of Camelot , and feel that they are worth the $(fill in the zeros ) they demand . Obviously these categories overlap and are purely generalizations .

    Category 4 is the group I referred to earlier who can ruin a SD’s day in a heartbeat .

  145. DarkHorseSD says:

    Mainly I’d like to know how Jersey is doing and if she moved yet.

    Jersey – how are you doing with the move?

  146. flyr says:

    Re Dark Horse and “desperation” great thoughts , I try to week out those who manufacture desperation as a lifestyle. I’m a whole lot happier helping someone to move towards their dreams or take some pressure off than sponsoring the purchase of more bags and trinkets.

    I’m fortunate that my business is doing reasonably well in the worst sustained recession/depression of my life. There are so many young people who worked hard to get an education, by a modest home etc who have been gutted by the bad and often corrupt decisions made in Washington . My guess is that when they run out of smoke and mirrors we’ll find it is worse and declining. Related to sugar in that it is an incredibly efficient “transfer of wealth” without removing incentives from the source or leakage along the way.

  147. First of all, thank God there has been some success on this website for all of you pretty ladies. As a new one, I’m assuming that I’m having a hard time because I’m set up incorrectly. Maybe I am marketing myself wrong? So far I’ve had about 80 views but no winks, no messages, no nothing. So as much as I’d like to even consider shopping or great evenings, I’d like to see about just upgrading myself so I can get a conversation started. Does anyone have any feedback for me?

  148. flyr says:

    BG “I don’t renegotiate monthly at all, maybe after 6 months or so, but certainly not by month. I don’t think my SD (Futur SD) should have a say what he gives or takes away. There is a base number, regardless if I got a better job or not.”

    Generally I agree, provided part of the allowance was not a special extra to help out in a tight situation. It also assumes that the SB has been reasonably faithful to her end of the arrangement. Ideally the agreement included some discussion of future adjustments to meet changing circumstances. It’s easy for either party to forget the understanding.

    I think the leadin to the blog missed the most important element of sugar value – quality, rather It focused almost entirely on quantity. I suspect that there is a wide gap between SA’s, SB’s and SD’s beliefs in what creates value. There’s probably a change in both SD’s and SB’s attitudes regarding value (and the components of value that each brings to the table) that changes with the length of participation.

    The brilliant and successful but socially challenged nerd is probably looking for something far different than the 45 year old trial attorney stepping out on wifey #3 for a few hours.

    I think a far more productive discussion would be what adds or subtracts from the value of a potential SD SB to the opposite and what detracts from value.

    It’s not an uncommon discussion in business – the financial guys say we need to raise prices to improve profits, the sales group says if you raise prices you’ll loose customers. The leader ASKS how do we add value (real or perceived) so that our customers are willing to pay more and buy more units? My favorite is salt. Leslie and Morton get 150% – 200% more for their product than generic brand salt, for exactly the same product.

    Perhaps the “what I am looking for section” should include a mandatory summary of the grading process similar to that found in a typical course syllabus, with an addition actions which will result in expulsion.

    I feel the same way about phones and texting in the sugar moment as I did in the classroom. We had a rule that if the phone rang it was mine to keep or crush. The sole exception was where there was a genuine critical event. Each also had one “silver bullet” – they could come to class unprepared and only be graded if they made a positive contribution. I think a lot of sugar relationships could be saved if the SB were to call or email to the effect that she has something going on in her life and she’s not going to be her normal self . We can meet with my expectations reduced or reschedule. If she’s smart she’ll make sure that the SD feels that she appreciated his understanding.

  149. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’m reading these comments about not accepting arrangements with SBs who are “desperate.” First of all, what is desperate? The girl 6 months from graduation job interviewing with no set job yet is desperate? How about 1 month from graduation? 3 months post grad? So does the employer view these as desperate people not to hire? After all, if they get laid off, they can’t pay their $400 rent.

    If SDs aren’t going to take on SBs with some notion of desperation, it’s going to leave a huge SB population out in the cold – with many very fun ladies or gents on the sidelines. But I don’t think this is the case. After all, one motivation for an SD is to help with these kinds of needs.

    Desperation is a major motivation for becoming an SB and joining SA. Different kinds of SDs can take on and satisfy different kinds of desperation. You have to be careful to match up well.

  150. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ Beachie, Think Gentleman from the past LOL . I’m also one of those guys hooked on monogamy and beat that into the ground . My heart was broken by my SB of 1 1/2 yrs when I found out she was seeing 3 guys in spite of our agreement .

    I agree that the Sugar should be yours to manage as you see fit .

  151. Beach_Girl says:

    gentle(man)soul ~ Still curious who you are lol… old blogger you said right?
    ” suggestions always appreciated but in the end its the SBs decision!” I meant what she will do with her allowance, yes it’s discussed but still her decision in the end. She says she needs so much for this… what she ends up doing with the said allowance is her choice… just saying!!!
    just my opinion, I don’t agree that the allowance should be renegotiated every month…

  152. gentle(man)soul says:

    @Beach -Hi Beachie

    ” suggestions always appreciated but in the end its the SBs decision!”

    It’s actually both parties. Like anything in life it’s a moving target depending on The SB’s needs/wants and SD’s desire and ability to pay .

    I never change the allowance my SB and I agreed on ,but since I pay by the visit she automatically gets a raise if I see her more ,so she is motivated to see me more often if her needs increase . I also guarantee her a minimum number of visits/month so she can count on the Sugar .

    I also never will have an arrangement with a desperate SB who needs the Sugar to survive . There is too much potential drama and when I have done it before she always calls for money to cover some disaster in her life . If her basic living expenses aren’t already covered then I pass .

  153. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    DarkHorse~ You renegotiate your SBs, or reevaluate your SBs allowance every week? Are you serious? So you are deciding what you give her a month? It’s not a base number plus extras if you want? CRAZY!
    I don’t renegotiate monthly at all, maybe after 6 months or so, but certainly not by month. I don’t think my SD (Futur SD) should have a say what he gives or takes away. There is a base number, regardless if I got a better job or not. If I make more one month then the extra allowance will go to other bills or what ever… My SDs have never told me what to do with my allowance, or anticipated that I would make more in 2 months and cut some allowance.. insane!
    There’s a reason SBs need an allowance or wants an allowance… you can’t decide for her what is right and what is wrong… suggestions always appreciated but in the end its the SBs decision!

  154. Noob_SD says:

    @ Jersey Darling


    Then you always were … in my book, Jersey. Good to see you around … :)

  155. flyr says:

    But JD you’re always first , well almost always……..

    From the dark recesses of the mancave ……………. truth flows………………

    Secrets of increasing allowances …………..
    the quantity approach
    the hamburger approach is that if 6 hamburgers are worth x
    then 8 are worth 1.33 X

    the fille, say hello to your wildest fantasy and hope you ate your wheaties today approach 40X

  156. DarkHorseSD says:

    I tend to pay a lot of attention to what is happening in my SB’s life. I ask a lot of questions, not just about what is happening now, but what happens when such and such event comes to pass next week, month , 3 months from now.

    So I tend to be the one putting planning into focus. Anticipate needs, even mention them perhaps before she started thinking of them. Anticipate trouble for her to avoid too. Tragedy she doesn’t experience can’t hurt me.

    So sugar is often being upgraded and downgraded. My needs and their needs are always being traded. You did something special for me, I do extra for you because I appreciate. You got a job with more pay…your situation changed. You see me more often…you see me less often.

    There are instantaneous, ad hoc adjustments and there are permanent adjustments.

    Whether you are the SB or SD, keep demonstrating your appreciation in kind each step if the way, and don’t be shy to downgrade if needed.

  157. Jersey Darling says:

    First 😀

  158. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…