6 years ago
Is Plastic Worth the Paper?
  • Posted Feb 22, 2014


Breaking news: Victoria’s Secret has been revealed!

…I’m referring to Mrs. Beckham, not women’s underwear. (Get your mind out of the gutter).


Victoria Beckham is an ageless fashionista who embodies female empowerment. This singer-turned-model-turned-designer-turned pop culture icon is a true inspiration for all Sugar Babies.

For one, you have to respect her independence. While she is married and a mother of four, you know she doesn’t bend to Beckham (outside the bedroom, at the very least).


Victoria’s pout alone, makes headlines. But it was her reveal in Allure that I found quite intriguing: her recent breast implant removal.

It has been causing quite a stir across the pond. Personally, I don’t find this newsworthy. Many women undergo breast reduction surgery, and many women also undergo breast augmentation.

However, the more I thought about her personal decision, the more I noticed its cultural impact. Self-image is quintessential for all dating sites, let alone SeekingArrangement.

A positive self-image develops confidence, which is viewed very highly by prospective partners. So without self-image, there is no confidence. And without confidence…well, there is no arrangement.

Interestingly enough, it was Victoria’s trip to the US that empowered her, which in turn, enabled her to become such a strong figure for all Sugar Babies to look up to:

“Living in America for six years was the happiest I think I’ve ever been. Yeah, it was much more accepting for a woman to have a career, as well as a man. And I loved it.”

Because of all this buzz, I wanted to ask you, the community, to give me your thoughts about the following:


How much of a role does image play in current or prospective arrangements?

Understandably, plastic surgery is never cheap. But a Sugar Daddy has the means to provide for his partner, and will often appease to her demands.

Do Sugar Babies ever feel pressured to look their very best for the most successful benefactors?

In that regard, being “arm candy” is no cake walk: numerous arrangements involve attending lavish events and require Sugar Babies to be supportive of their benefactor. Being a socialite comes with the territory. While conversational skills help, outward appearance is just as important.






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518 Responses to “Is Plastic Worth the Paper?”

  1. Josh says:

    @FatBastardSD says:


    Your SD’s are younger than you by 8 years and you are in your mid 30′s. You get SD’s who send you money without meeting you. and they don’t even ask anything of you. You seem to get lot of information from other blog SB’s (not on SA). It is quite probable that everything you are writing is fiction.”

    Any guesses? 😉

  2. Smart.but.Clueless.Aspiring.SB says:

    Where is the new blog? I am brand new and love reading your posts. And would love some feedback on my profile which I am afraid makes me sound somewhat desperate.

  3. SugarySpicey says:

    T – Amen to your post! That’s exactly how it can go with these fakes – especially the “audition” guys who “need to know what they’re getting.”

    Come on over to the new blog.

  4. T. says:

    @Josh A lot of creepers don’t reveal themselves in that first email. Maybe 5-10% do, or at least hint ant what’s to come, if they’re not quickly blocked.

    The majority… no, the overwhelming majority show their true nature later. You send a few messages back and forth, then he really wants to meet you, but the pics just don’t show him what he’s getting, so he needs vag shots or at least clear, full-length nudes. Or he thinks the pics are fakes, and really needs a few nudes with face to know you’re a real SB. These people aren’t the majority.

    There are Pot SDs who make plans, and then don’t show… but they text/email creepy messages about how sexy the SB looked, and describe her outfit, showing that they were there. There aren’t many of these, but it does happen.
    This falls into the larger category of Pot SDs who aren’t after sex or X-rated pics, but they want to play head games. More of these exist, but they’re still not the majority.

    Some send dick pics, but fewer of those guys here than on other Sugar Dating sites.

    The majority of creepy SDs show themselves to be creepy in person, on the phone/txt, or while making plans. They want to know graphic details of sex acts, not just if you’re cool with oral or threesomes, but what is essentially free phone sex or naughty emails. They demand an audition. They suddenly change plans, and want you to meet in their hotel room or home instead of the restaurant where you were originally going. They want to pick you up,and get angry or cancel plans when you say that you’ll drive yourself to a first date. They ask you to wear a particular type of lingerie under your clothing, and become pushy or beg if you try to be polite by changing the subject. They don’t just ask bra size, or if you’re enhanced, but detailed questions about genitalia, like how inner labia look. They tell you that they normally offer an allowance of $XXXX, but because you won’t send them nude pics, they’ll only give $XXX, regardless of how in-person chemistry and attraction are, because you refused to send pictures. They tell you that you’re not anywhere as hot as the other SB they’re considering, but she was only mediocre in bed, and maybe they can be persuaded to choose you over her if you put out… pre-allowance of course. They want to have an arrangement with you, and you’re amazing, but the want to do the deed tonight, and their wallet was stolen and they’re still waiting for replacement cards, but they’re good for for the allowance… look at the pricey meal they just bought you both. They tell you that you’ll go on a dream vacation together, shopping trips, etc… but only after they know you’re sexually compatible. You’re very pretty, but they only spoil *deserving* SBs, and you haven’t “earned” your allowance yet. The other girls here are “hookers” and “greedy bitches” only gold-digging for cash, and doing something together… not full-on sex but maybe a blowjob and fooling around, would help him to know that you’re a real SB and not just another whore after his hard-earned money.

    On-site, they ask common questions, talk about their most recent lavish vacation or golf game. They seem stable and nice, flirty yet respectful, but once it goes off-site, they get creepy. I thinks that’s how so many get away with it, because SA can only enforce what happens on here.

    Flyr: I’ve turned down a number of invites because I’m not going to fly somewhere and stay at the house of some guy I’ve never met. He needs to book a hotel in my name, and place tickets in my name, or do something like send over enough rewards or frequent flyer points so I can personally do that. It doesn’t have to be a luxury resort, but a clean business class hotel in a nice area will work.

    Creepy guys think in terms of how to bully or pressure women for sex, even if no physical force is used. Real SDs know that treating a woman well will probably lead to sex.

  5. Flyr says:


  6. SunShineSD says:


    Definitely not minions, but looking for a way to raise more individualistic personalities in the face of statistical disappearance of middle-class two-biological parents families. We already know welfare doesn’t work. If I’m going to be taxed more than 50% anyway to fund dysfunctional dynamics through welfare, may as well donate the money and effort voluntarily into families and children that I can watch out for closely. The process can make much more of a positive difference in the women’s lives too in the long run, compared to either welfare or even the usual sugar donations that involve no “common cause.”

  7. Zack says:

    Heh, SunS is planning minions.

    @ DH How seriously do you want her number? 😛

  8. SunShineSD says:


    “Unwrapped” and no connection hence high turn-over rate? Do you feel invincible? Even as we may not agree on some details from time to time, I want you to stick around for a long time to come.

  9. gentle(man)soul says:

    ” Anyone locate that Beckham woman’s profile? ”

    I got her to delete it . $250 /pop –she’s lonely since her husband is always traveling

  10. SunShineSD says:


    I do not wish to argue with you for arguments sake. Rest assured that it is not a made up persona. Different men push their sense of accomplishment to different levels. Some want zillions of notches, some want a trophy wife to show friends; for me, I want to win the hearts and minds (of women and children), and the genetic and memic future 😉 I’m quite aware that it would be a lot easier and cheaper to run a harem with an asshole persona . . . however, I want a group of well adjusted and independent children for the future, so they can spread out and replicate the success on their own turns. That’s also why I want genetic diversity among my children.

  11. LucyLove says:

    @sugary thank you for the advice on SD’s and kids. You give great advice, I wish you could mentor me in my SB journey. I have been reading your comments as well and it seems like you know a lot about the game.

    Are most SD’s willing to meet their SB’s even if they are in Europe? How would that work since meeting will be much more difficult to do especially over a long period of time.

  12. DarkHorseSD says:

    Anyone locate that Beckham woman’s profile? I found worn panties from a former SB behind the bed which I’m willing to send in exchange for her profile number.

  13. FatBastardSD says:


    I always prefer to be “unwrapped” by the way. So no shield on that part of my body!

  14. FatBastardSD says:


    Gourmet meals vs fast food. We can talk about the Emperor’s new clothes as well. I know everyone is a persona on the internet but you have to be really fucked up to create one like yours. Cheers!

  15. Josh says:

    @NC Gen

    Maybe it is true. But I have reasons to believe that they are leaving SA because they don’t want to give or take golden showers, nor they want to have group sex, nor want to be dominatrix or submissive nor they want to get involved with “weirdos.”

    The most common response my returning SBs give me for the reason of their comebacks is that “you are not a weirdo.”

    Does not do a whole heck of a lot for my ego, but I know the reason why they a leave.

  16. KatPaw says:

    Mmmm quite disturbing

  17. SunShineSD says:

    @Gentle, FBSD

    I do see your points, if you want to put a protective shield not only around your pen*s but also all around your hearts, and don’t mind spending a lot of time for staff turn-over. Some people prefer fast food, others savoring gourmet dinner over candle light, perhaps even cooked at home by hired chef or the two people themselves. Different people have different preferences; that’s what makes the world go around.

    As Jackie O once said, a woman should marry 3 times: once for love (lust), once for money, and once for companionship. All three are meaningful relationships. Nobody enjoys being used. People kick back when you don’t treat them right. Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. A woman can probably use, abuse and hurt a man far more than vice versa, so its probably not a good idea for us gents to start a conflict down that path. Remember, in late fetal development, testosterone destroyed half of our neuro connections for modeling another brain (i.e. for both empathy and emotional manipulations); we are essentially cripples in that department.

  18. FatBastardSD says:


    I could counter that SD’s who want to impose some sort of BF/GF relationship causes SB’s to delete their accounts as well. I see a lot of comments about wanting separate lives, personal time (as in no constant texting), and not wanting a BF in SB’s profiles. Why would that be?

  19. NC Gent says:

    DarkhorseSD — I am happy to see that it still holds that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

  20. NC Gent says:

    Josh — I never said it is a courtesan site. I recognize it is an SB site, just as much as I recognize that it isn’t a site intended for misogynists. After seeing the posts of many of the SDs here, it is very clear to me why most women stop logging in a few days after creating their account.

  21. SunShineSD says:

    Instead of adding to Blog God’s unpaid workload with each individual request, I think I’m going to plagiarize Sugary’s modus operandi. I just created a throw-away gmail account for people curious or wish to put their honest comments to me in private: it’s my display name above with the two letters “NE” added to the front, no dash or underscore, just one word at gmail. No, I’m not in Nebraska, or Utah for that matter. Nor am I a Latter Day Saint follower, though many people say to me “You are a Saint.” LOL.

  22. DarkHorseSD says:

    Blog quality is way up. Hit an all time high yesterday.

  23. FatBastardSD says:

    @All of the nice SD’s

    Unless you guys are planning on marrying or being in a common law arrangement with your SB you are no different than the “tail at the lowest price, see ya laterSD’s”. Talking about connections, constant texting and throwing money around does not change what you are after.

  24. Josh says:

    @NC Gent

    This is not a courtesan selection site. The SBs on the site are the result of mass marketing to delusional women who think that SDs are walking ATMs. Some of them are smart enough to make reasonable arrangements. 😉

  25. Josh says:


    …and it is lot better than giving their “sugar” to the high libido 20-something who takes them to dutch dates to the In-n-Out Burger, and calls them bitch and slaps them around whenever they try to use their wrong Pussy Power. 😉

  26. NC Gent says:

    I guess I should not be shocked that the reduction in the quality on the blog is consistent with the reduction in quality on SA. Imagine that, a dog that barks.

  27. FatBastardSD says:


    You hit the nail right on the head. Guys like gtt_envy believe that throwing money around and texting 100 times per day makes an arrangement something more than it is.

    I would bet that a young SB would find a short fling with a older SD who helped her out, was nice, and gave her a good time, a lot more memorable than a SD who pushed for some kind of artificial BF/GF relationship which would remove any fun out of the arrangement.

  28. gentle(man)soul says:


    ” You should want the women you are with to look back at your time with affinity not “gosh I was desperate” do you think the games you play are making their life better? Or is all about meeting the immediate financial need, give me some tail at the lowest price, see ya later?”

    ???? Seriously ladies . Are you guys looking for a “meaningful ” relationship with a guy 20-30-40 years your senior –even an attractive and cool one , or are you looking for assistance with your financial stresses in the most pleasant way possible ? Come on –be honest .

    BTW ,I already know that is a rhetorical question . Just be honest with yourselves up front and realize the truth.

    Guys want : an attractive YOUNG lady to fulfill our sexual fantasies (and other ego driven ones ) in as cost effective way as possible

    Gals want: an attractive nice guy who will treat them with respect and satisfy their financial needs in as generous a way as possible .

    Boiled down to the nitty gritty :

    ” —it’s all about meeting the immediate financial need, (and) some tail at the lowest price, see ya later ? See ,we’ve come full circle . We are both saying the same thing ,just in a different way . Mars/Venus

  29. DarkHorseSD says:

    “Off topic: Is it unusual for a potential SD to want to meet ASAP?”
    No, almost all do. Some insist, which is often unseemly.

  30. DarkHorseSD says:

    “Drivel” – ATM

  31. Karina Marie says:

    To comment on the topic of the post: I don’t think plastic surgery is worth the money. I’ve seen a few articles and a study that said it only took 2-3 years off of someone’s looks. The amount that could be spent at a good surgeon’s office (and the additional that could be spent to correct mistakes by an incompetent one) would be better spent on personal trainer sessions, impeccably tailored clothes and high quality food. In my opinion I think that could go much further towards improving your appearance as well as looking and feeling even more youthful.

    Off topic: Is it unusual for a potential SD to want to meet ASAP?

  32. Josh says:


    There is a British comedy sitcom called Mind Your Language. Its episodes are available on Netflix. The sitcom is hilarious and the name of the sitcom is profound.

    You have been fairly warned. 😉

  33. gtt_envy says:

    @Josh….you do not seek sb/sd arangements you are looking for cheap sex with non professionals. The more the merrier, what I find ironic is you popped up out of nowhere, live on the blog now, went from no sex in 4 meets last week….to banging multiple women in a days time.

    Flyr and Sugary are right sex shouldnt come first. You should want the women you are with to look back at your time with affinity not “gosh I was desperate” do you think the games you play are making their life better? Or is all about meeting the immediate financial need, give me some tail at the lowest price, see ya later?

    • SD Guru says:

      Here’s my post on “Allowance in Real Dollar Terms“.

      “Imagine if the fellow who just sold his company to facebook for $19 billion had a SB who had taken a modest allowance and some stock options.”

      That’s called hitting the jackpot, for both! It’s not something one an aspire to nor plan for because the odds are astronomical. :mrgreen:

  34. Josh says:

    As per Forest Gump: Delusional is what delusional does.

    A good number of women on SA are delusional. I let them live in their own delusional thinking while showing that I am a man they can have an arrangement with without any safety or other concerns.

    When the reality hits, then something else hits the floor as well. I am sure that it is hitting the floor somewhere else as well, so might as well with me.

  35. Josh says:


    Keep in mind…

    If you want to get in-the-trenches advice to get an arrangement going, you will get it from SDs. Any SB “advice” in the arrangement arena is mostly wishful thinking. 😉 Yes, you may get lucky once in a while, but…

    If you want to get advice on personal safety, it can come from both SB or an SD.

  36. Josh says:


    “@SugarySpicey ” it’s safe for an SB looking for a long term arrangement with an SD to need to filter to $100 K in SD income for every $1,000 per month she’s hoping for.”

    The fallacy with this logic is that most SDs are keeping multiple SBs ,so the math works only if her is content with one”


  37. gentle(man)soul says:


    ” His sugar must ALWAYS be given before yours. ”

    Girls ! Asking for money in advance is a deal breaker for this SD . There is a certain level of trust that goes into a new relationship . The exception to my rule is travel ,which I never am involved in –shipping someone into my lair or to another locale . . The significant cost incurred by the SB for this meeting must be covered up front . But , if I meet a Pot and we discuss a sugar amount ,I would not pay up front ,nor have I ever had to . After the M&G the panties hit the floor happily ,and I always deliver the goods —so to speak . You will turn off a lot of good Pot SDs by asking for money 1st. Of course ,you could get scammed by a crooked SD wannabe who bolts after the deed .

    ” it’s safe for an SB looking for a long term arrangement with an SD to need to filter to $100 K in SD income for every $1,000 per month she’s hoping for.”

    The fallacy with this logic is that most SDs are keeping multiple SBs ,so the math works only if her is content with one

  38. DarkHorseSD says:

    Very busy day today, easily remaking money I’ve been screwed out of and a whole new facade of pride.

  39. Flyr says:

    SS “Before the Panties Hit the Floor: Don’t put out sexually until you’ve received whatever it is that will make you feel well-treated and taken care of. Sex can’t be repo’d. If a guy gives up sugar and doesn’t get sex, all he’s out is money and his pride – both easily remade. If a girl is tricked into giving up sex based on false promises never delivered, she becomes jaded and loses a piece of her softness, which can never be reclaimed. ”

    Judging from some of the comments here more than a few SD have become jaded and lost a piece of their femininity that can never be reclaimed having provided sugar and only received vinegar.

    In a later post Spicey offers an absolutely priceless bit of advice – the SB is better off negotiating in person, letting her charm, charms and warmth do some of the talking. It also makes it less of a business deal.

    It’s also critical for the SB to try to differentiate the source of resistance

    affordability – you are stuck unless he is willing to give up something or make more money

    value – He thinks you are asking more than his alternatives. PRODUCT DIFFERENTIATION – are you exploiting the value add opportunities (can range from sexual competencies to black tie dinner guest who works the floor for him to helping him with writing, exercising, etc)

    haggler – he haggles about everything , if he is sold on the need for you he is not going to let you get away unless you blow up the deal

  40. KatPaw says:

    @SunShine I am very intrigued about you I have to say.. Meow this kitty is curious about you.

  41. aliceS says:

    Thank to all 🙂

  42. SunShineSD says:


    Agree with you on the distinction between p* vs. sugar. I find taking advantage of SB’s at rent time rather distasteful. Perhaps at the very beginning financial distress may have driven some SB’s to sign up, but after the SD has eliminated the accumulated debt for the SB, financial distress shouldn’t be the primary motivator. Putting the girl through that sort of cycles would make her softer parts harden inside (credit Sugary for the expression) . . . and you can see her hardening inside from the expressions she has when she waking up in the morning and see you for the first time after a night of revelry: whether she is happy to see you in bed besides her. It may not be a game worth playing unless you want to train your own hardened wh*

    Likewise, for the SB’s, if you find a real keeper of an SD, don’t play mind games to maximize sugar in the short run. Yes, do keep him interested and wanting more as always, but scamming him with fake dramas and lying to him put distance between the two. One day, he may just wake up and realize that there are something like 100 SB’s for every real SD (if the 90% statistic for fakes and catfish is true). Even from a pure arithmetic POV, winning extra 10-20% in a month is not worth risking losing the original 100% for several months.

    Many real SD’s, even those younger than 55, may not have house payment as the house is fully owned and/or if it’s a building actually generates cash instead of being a personal expense item. Without getting into the exotics, the typical top level cars like S-class, 7-series, A-8 and LS top out around $1000/mo on lease, which is the most expensive way of paying for cars in the long run. Most MB, BMW, Audi and Lexus cost around half that amount or less. These are relatively small numbers compared to the cost of keeping SB’s. Some SD’s prefer lower profile cars for personal safety reasons. People who own their own businesses also tend to minimize taxable income, which means sometimes the car does not take up any income at all but business expense and owners of substantial assets can depreciate assets to reduce income without reducing cash flow. The key is disposable cash flow. NYC used to be infamous for big landlords with near-zero income but millions of dollars of disposable cash flow on top of living in their own luxury apartments for free.

  43. Flyr says:

    @Alice – “””How can I and other SB replied to that, and not sound like a cheap pro escort. If I say you do what you think is right.”””

    Something like
    I’m looking for a number of things from this site and a relationship . . . . I like the thought of being with someone older who has a genuine interest in me and my potential. The financial component is also important to me because (my education, family, drug habit etc) . I want someone who feels proud to be helping , knowing that he are making a difference in my life and that I am doing the same for him.

    I think a lot of SB’s are also missing the opportunity to “sell” the concept that they are not an expense but rather a performance enhancing addition to the entrepreneur’s life. My recollection is that some believe men think about sex every 15 seconds. An SB who is able to leave with the SD’s attention focused can help make great things happen, especially for someone who is in a phase where they are working very long hours.

    Imagine if the fellow who just sold his company to facebook for $19 billion had a SB who had taken a modest allowance and some stock options. For those not familiar – Russian immigrant as a child, mother died early , dropped out of school

  44. Zack says:

    Alice again, then: He sends you your travel or meet expenses (not allowance) before you travel or meet (paypal, moneygram, cash, check or FED EX parcel post–whatever). You meet in a public place for dinner, establish your arrangement expectations either for the evening or longer term regarding time, intimacy and allowance or pay rate. He gives some of this up front…base rate, 2 weeks allowance, or whatever quid is arranged, possibly as easily as an envelope at dinner, though points of style have been discussed Then you live up to your end.

    SD’s should be encouraged to show appreciation above the minimum agreed amount, but how that works is even more up to you than the rest of this script 😛

    These are, I feel, rather SB-safe guidelines; you can weaken or ignore them, but shouldn’t when new or with an untrustworthy (define that as you wish, or use Sugary’s) pot-SD.

    Have fun, be safe, don’t get trapped. The negotiations and arrangement will take trust or experience even to negotiate…it can be done in small, fast steps rather than Olympian high jumps. You will make mistakes…be able to break off and go home at each step…

    Josh, we can argue about how the SD can take advantage in negotiations later, when advising someone not quite so vulnerable? It would be amusing to see how low you could get Sugary to go 😛

  45. Flyr says:

    SS wrote

    “””””Single, no-kids SD makes $100K
    25% goes to taxes = 75K R
    30% committed to house/car = 45K R
    20% committed to food/expenses = 25K R
    10% committed to insurance/health = 15 R””””””

    Your daughters may profit from the popularity of the 15 year loans as future SD’s in their late 40s may own homes free of debt.

    But overall your numbers tell the story.

    You can search for the SD who has the discretionary income to afford sugar
    You can search for the addict SD for whom sugar comes first

  46. aliceS says:

    But still, what kind of message as a reply, we as sugar babies, to the sugar daddy, that is asking about expected allowance. I mean, numbers doesn’t count. But how do you spell them in an gentle way? For example, I need x per month? I’d love to receive x per week? Meeting? With sex no sex. It’s ridiculous. How can I and other SB replied to that, and not sound like a cheap pro escort. If I say you do what you think is right. Well he may reply as well ok 10 bucks each nsa. 15 each non nsa. So then what? I’d there is a receipt for that, if the question drops on the first or third email

  47. SugarySpicey says:

    Based on my experience I would say. If a normal algorithm is

    1 – 10 (a man’s general attractiveness)/
    A – Z (the general dirty things a couple does in the bedroom) X
    $ (the allowance or gifts an SB wants)

    As $$$ increases, A gets closet to Z, or 10 gets closer to 1 – sometimes both. So not every girl will want or be able to stomach what it takes to meet her $$$ sugar goals.

  48. SugarySpicey says:

    Josh – I can’t provide specifics because you’ve already told everyone on this blog that if I post something you don’t like you’ll continue to share my personal information with the world. So I’ll give generalities:

    1. Sugar is different from prostitution because it’s a relationship. The girls who poofed, then showed up at your house last night, had sex, received money, then left are acting like prostitutes – to each his own.

    Typically a sugar relationship involves days/weeks of getting to know someone by email, phone, or text – having actual conversations about your life and his. This generally also results in dating behavior, dinners, attending events, going out together which then escalates into sex – which both of people should enjoy. There should be genuine fondness from the SB to her SD, and a desire to be with him sexually because the SB will enjoy it.

    Guru wrote an article about predicting the base income needed by an SD to meet an SBs expectations, and I’ve always followed that – a paraphrase: Assume a man has 10% (or less) of his disposable income to spend on you. So here’s an easy summary of that guideline (rounding up and down for simplicity, I’m not a tax accountant):

    Single, no-kids SD makes $100K
    25% goes to taxes = 75K R
    30% committed to house/car = 45K R
    20% committed to food/expenses = 25K R
    10% committed to insurance/health = 15 R

    Potentially, if this man never takes a trip, goes to dinner, saves a dime, or pays student loans he MIGHT have $1,000+ a month for an SB.

    So, with that expectation, it’s safe for an SB looking for a long term arrangement with an SD to need to filter to $100 K in SD income for every $1,000 per month she’s hoping for.

    I don’t like the idea of an SD “saving up” for me like I’m a Caribbean cruise. And I can easily meet men in the $100-300 K range IRL. So the lowest income I would consider for an SD is $300K (or equivalent net worth) every arrangement is unique your needs and results may vary.

    I also want genuine attraction (I’m naturally attracted to silver haired men), connection, and a feeling that if he were single, my same age, and I met him at the grocery store I would want to date him IRL – no sugar needed. I typically only respond to SDs who are 20+ years older than me, they’re less likely to end up on a girl’s doorstep doing the heartbroken snot cry, and less likely to cause a girl to do the same. The one time I wavered from that rule went badly.

    A few experiences I’ve had:

    Met a BDSM-loving gyno on SA from another country. Talked, texted, emailed, Facebooked for months (Googled him extensively and told him I’d left the details of who he is with my sister) and he flew me to his country for a very fun week. (I’ve already shared my specific opinions as to when it is and isn’t wise to travel for sugar. For most college girls, or those without a good nest egg it’s not safe to do what I did – Hurricane Sandy stranded me in Paris for a couple days and so the trip ended up costing me a few $$$$). The sugar flowed first (him paying for the trip) and I had a genuine attraction to him, and our kinks were compatible.

    Another SD messaged me on the site, many bloggers will remember the ups and downs of MILK. We chatted for a week or two. He mentioned that he was at a location known for it’s luxury goods and asked me what my favorite label was. I told him. When we met, he had a wallet from that label gift wrapped and waiting for me with something fun inside. Showing that he had the means and desire to provide the particular sugar lifestyle I like. He was quite a bit older than me, and had some very specific funny little kinks that many women wouldn’t want to accommodate. But for the four months I knew him, he gave me some very, very nice things a very nice trip (first class), and a number of gift cards for months of a housekeeping service, almost a year’s worth of services at the salon I visit, etc. If I had wanted an allowance he would have given me that instead. He made significantly more (verified independently, don’t trust the net worth line an SD fills out on his profile) than most SDs, and probably required significantly more time, attention, and tolerance than most SDs.

    I have a gay SD with issues related to that and serious insecurity about accepting who he is (there’s been debate as to if a no-sex arrangement is an arrangement, but they do exist, are very rare, and typically a beginner or college kid is not going to be able to manage them as they have their own specific expectations which are purely mental). He uses me as a beard, and we talk Cante, politics, art, and share articles that we find interesting in the New Yorker. Occasionally I’ve flown to meet him for black tie events or social functions. He takes me shopping and plays like I’m his own personal Barbie before the event. He does like to come into the dressing room to watch me undress, but more in an aesthetic way, not sexual – he did motorboat on me once when he had too much to drink, it was weird.

  49. Josh says:

    My sugar strategy is to:

    1. Keep the SB funnel filled with a whole lot of POT.

    2. Communicate with as many as I can juggle along with non-vagina-seeking activities in my life.

    3. Make all of them feel special. Many women are into mind games. Dropping real cash in exchange for mind games is just like paying for Steam card. If you want to, go ahead it’s your money. I DON’T want to. Therefore, I don’t.

    4. Wait for a frantic I-must-see-you-now text.

    5. Show up as the white knight in the shinning armor.

    6. Help her when she needs it the most.

    The access to vagina is a man’s need. To restrict access to vagina and to exercise wrong Pussy Power is a woman’s game.

    The only way to diffuse the exercise of the wrong Pussy Power by one is by having multiply women willing to provide, in their own hour of need, the right Pussy Power on your friend downstairs. 😉

  50. DarkHorseSD says:

    My sugar mentality is if you are going to be cheap, it isn’t going to happen.

  51. Josh says:


    Are you planning to answer my specific questions or I should just forget about getting any straightforward from-the-trenches answer? 😉

  52. SugarySpicey says:

    The sugar-first approach wasn’t created by me, it’s SA wisdom taught by many, many people on this blog, and any reasonable guy is going to understand why a girl wants that first.

    The approach is simple:

    SD and SB meet on the site, chat a little, move offline, chat a little. I would recommend setting base expectations beforehand if he brings it up, but sugar negotiations are usually to the SD’s advantage over email and to the SBs advantage face to face.

    There’s a meet and greet, where an SD should show some outward signs of actually being able to afford the SBs expectations (if Google hasn’t already proven his case). The M&G should be fun for both. The SB should leave feeling like she wants to be with the SD sexually.

    Then you let him drive. He knows what site he met you on. If he wants you, he’ll propose an arrangement or provide some gift$, or he’ll ask what you’re looking for. If he doesn’t, just be sweet, light, and fun, and leave early – with him wanting more. If he asks you out again, and you’re interested, go. Treat it like dating.

    Wash, rinse, repeat until the sugar (from him) starts flowing naturally, or because he’s made some offer AND followed through on it. The mistake is in treating sugar like a transaction. He should still have to woo you, but in sugar, the wooing period can be shortened by his proving his intentions through gifts, trips, envelopes or whatever an SB is looking for in sugar.

    She NEVER asks for anything, he gives it because he’s hoping it will make her happy, or take some of the pressure off, or persuade her that she’s ready for sexy time. Those gifts shouldn’t be placed on the dresser on some cheap motel room minutes before the deed, they should be given completely removed from a sexual moment (if time and logistics allow).

    Basically, the sugar mentality is: if you want me to be easy, I’m not going to be cheap. If you want me to be cheap, it’s not going to be easy.

  53. DarkHorseSD says:

    “I’m just not comfortable giving him my bank account number.”

    Somehow the term “Sub-S Corp.” never seemed more appropriately named.

  54. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’m working on a plan to corner the market on stockings with runs in them.

  55. Josh says:


    “Allegedly 24, potentially attractive if you like that look, “athletic”, very little to say…what can you give me for her?”

    The description is tempting but:

    1. I don’t do long distance arrangements.

    2. The sugar stays in the jar until the FBs do “something” for me. It could be anything from playful flirting to POF and anything in between.

    So the answer is, thanks but no thanks. 😉

  56. Josh says:


    Use your or a friend’s Paypal. 😉

  57. aliceS says:

    By the way, panties maybe will be sold. I’m just not comfortable giving him my bank account number. He told me, he will do the transfer and add to it shipping expenses, BUT I need to prove him, those are mine so before I put them in the box he need to see a picture, me wearing them. Kinda cat and mice game 🙂 katpaw miaaaaau

  58. aliceS says:

    @DarkHorse I’m kinda disappointed with her cheap answer. She started nice, but ended like “Ooops, that dude isn’t dumb he knows the words games as well, dammit, what I’m gonna do now. Aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh what the heck, let me improvise. “

  59. Sugardoll says:

    @aliceS “Like hey I like you. I’m considering getting laid down with you, but uhm.. here is my bank account, don’t forget to hit enter, before my panties hit the floor?”
    Yes, LMFAO!! hahahhh LOLOLOL

    @Dark yes, we should have some possibility to trade & exchange – lol – I dont forget about the one who ask alice for the panties…lol

  60. DarkHorseSD says:

    Josh, I may have an “I don’t want her, you take her” exchange for you.

    Allegedly 24, potentially attractive if you like that look, “athletic”, very little to say…what can you give me for her?

  61. Zack says:

    @DH….”Hostess Bankruptcy Exposes Peril ….” 😛

  62. DarkHorseSD says:

    The SB whose phone number I was extremely lucky to get did start texting me after 9 last night, largely to say when are we meeting and little else. Which doesn’t stand out from all the other numbers I’m extremely lucky to have.

  63. Josh says:


    “His sugar must ALWAYS be given before yours. Don’t expect it days before, but never trust it will come after, because you have no recourse if it doesn’t.”

    1. Please explain how it is different from what a prostitute does?

    2. How many arrangements have you made with this approach?

    3. What were the income levels of those SDs?

    4. What were the ages of those SDs?

    5. What were the experience levels of those SDs in the sugar world?

    6. What exactly were they into in terms of kink/fetish, etc.

    7. What exactly did you promise them that they will get out of you?


  64. KatPaw says:

    Morning Sugars! Hope things are better in sugar land for you then it has been for me. But meow and purrrrr still a happy kitty even with out the extra sugar.

  65. KatPaw says:

    @aliceS “Like hey I like you. I’m considering getting laid down with you, but uhm.. here is my bank account, don’t forget to hit enter, before my panties hit the floor?”

  66. aliceS says:

    @SugarySpicey “His sugar must ALWAYS be given before yours. Don’t expect it days before, but never trust it will come after, because you have no recourse if it doesn’t.”

    I’m confused by that part. How can we say it, inform or ask SD for such, and not sound like a professional gold digger, or worse an escort with x years of an experience?

    Like hey I like you. I’m considering getting laid down with you, but uhm.. here is my bank account, don’t forget to hit enter, before my panties hit the floor?

  67. Zack says:

    To insure provisional security, some portion can be left as something to leave a sweeter finish than sugary’s bitter burdens for the gentleman.

  68. SugarySpicey says:

    We need to define terms here as it causes confusion:

    Upfront: meaning getting a sugar gift days/weeks before a “relationship” (however it is defined in your arrangement) is in place = unlikely.

    However …

    Before the Panties Hit the Floor: Don’t put out sexually until you’ve received whatever it is that will make you feel well-treated and taken care of. Sex can’t be repo’d. If a guy gives up sugar and doesn’t get sex, all he’s out is money and his pride – both easily remade. If a girl is tricked into giving up sex based on false promises never delivered, she becomes jaded and loses a piece of her softness, which can never be reclaimed.

    His sugar must ALWAYS be given before yours. Don’t expect it days before, but never trust it will come after, because you have no recourse if it doesn’t.

  69. Zack says:

    Josh, you’re going to get girls witht he potential to maybe be sb’s someday…hurt.

    I was thinking that letter was a joke, but it’s just too long. Yes..red flags.

    Mrs…he travels to you, you get expenses in advance, try negotiate and receive pfp cash upfront…you’ll probably get an awful or no reply You can outline that upfront and let the guy walk…you’re not getting money out of him anyway. And, seriously, does this guy have Anything about him you could trust?

  70. Josh says:

    @Mrslatina says:

    “i will be asked to drop a little bit of his generosity upfront..”

    The SDs here are in-the-trenches making arrangements…so you’d be better served if you pay attention…

    You can try since he claims to be new in the sugar space but don’t get your hopes too high. Not too many SDs provide anything upfront.

    But again, you will never know if you don’t try.

  71. SugarySpicey says:

    Sunshine – some arrangements never get to that point of emotional/personal disclosure.

    Latina – that man does NOT sound like an SD who will ever provide anything useful. His expectation that you are good to him first? You can’t repo sex dear. What if you are very “good” to him, he turns out to be terribly selfish in bed, and never follows through on his promises. It’s tempting to be lured by the bird in hand, but everything about that message is a STRONG red flag – especially the wife, geography, girlfriend, and 7 kids. I’ll bet you bucks he’s a pic collector.

    Josh – A smart SB would “reinterpret” the sick child into some other inconvenience (has to work over time perhaps) and parlay it into extra sugar. 😉

  72. Josh says:

    Agreeing with Sugary, I would err toward caution, and vet out the SD very well before the children are brought into the conversation.

    Safety must be the first concern of any SB, and as someone suggested above, I would also recommend reading the Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. It is available at Amazon at a very reasonable price.

  73. SunShineSD says:

    At some point though, disclosure of parenthood is probably the right thing to do. It’s not a one-night-stand. Being a parent plays a major part in the lives of those who are parents, esp. those parenting small children.

  74. Mrslatina says:

    Ty all for your replies, i answered him, lets see what he will say now… as for the kids, i dont have any and really not interest on having the 8th kid of that SD..lets see what happen next. and i will keep you guys posted. If i have to meet him, i would go and see what he offers…and just in case we get to get an arrangement i will be asked to drop a little bit of his generosity upfront..

  75. Josh says:

    Great post Sugary. Thanks! 🙂

    So in essence, it is none of his business, don’t tell him before and arrangement is in place, and don’t bring up children in any kind of post-arrangement activities?

    That is, if you can’t make it to a date because your little one is sick, you don’t mention that and use some other excuse for the lack of availability?

  76. SugarySpicey says:

    Children are defenseless pawns who can be used to manipulate a woman in a number of ways:

    1. The kind SD who wants to take the “family” out to activities, could really be searching for and preying on fatherless children as he’s identified them as easier victims to groom, manipulate, and sexually exploit.

    2. The “fake SD” can make promises of extra perks for your children that a mom could only dream of making happen. So she let’s down her guard and gives up more than she would have liked to in hopes that he’ll follow through on all that pretty talk. Then he poofs, leaving her feeling used and abused with nothing to show for it but another notch on her bedpost that some later man will judge her for having acquired.

    3. Or, as punishment for some perceived slight or misbehavior (or because he’s sadistic), an SD can make threats to tarnish a woman’s reputation online to such a great extent that it compromises the woman’s position in a contentious custody battle.

    Additionally, from a negotiation perspective, some SDs see single moms as easy prey, and they’ll lowball you, assuming you’re desperate for money and/or make assumptions that you will have a difficult schedule and therefor will be less desirable as an SB.

  77. SunShineSD says:


    Nah, this guy’s modus operandi is the exact the opposite from mine. I prefer clearly defined parameters and fair warnings, like in typical rational thinking. This guy OTOH is like the baby-daddy of my ex-SB/ex-GF in that he has the female logic down pat and taps right into the worst loop hole in female logic: no promises babe, let’s do what’s comfortable for the moment, let’s take one step at a time . . . bam! the next thing you know, you are pregnant! Just like his wife 4 times over and his girlfriend 3 times over. hmm, yeah, he’s nowhere to be found in Eastern Europe and Asia, while his 7 kids are here in the US! You can add his 8th.

    Adverse selection, I’m telling ya . . . BTW, it’s not the first time for my ex-SB/ex-GF’s baby-daddy either, knocking some young girl up where a new baby would ruin the young mother’s life. The even sadder part is that women caught up in that situation would be inclined to crank out more babies in poverty, in hopes of getting taxpayer funding, in hopes of keeping the Don Juan, and to justify to themselves and to others that their earlier actions were not mistakes.

  78. Josh says:


    “I would advise SBs NOT to tell men on the Internet that you you don’t know VERY well that you have children as there are a lot of predators out there.”

    What does that mean dear, please elaborate. Thanks

  79. Josh says:


    Stretch marks don’t mean shit to men. Those are women’s own hang-ups.

    If you have a functioning vagina along with nice boobs and a cute butt. Then you are all set. If not so ample boobs, no worry, make better use of butt. If you can flirt with men then even better.

    Ask specific questions and the SD panel will help you make money sooner rather tham later… 🙂

    Now go get some sugar, sweetheart! OK? 😉


  80. Josh says:


    Sounds messed up yet “teddy bear” to me. Whether you work with him depends on how much disposable income he has left over after supporting two women and 7 kids, and also why he is wanting yet another vagina drama in his life. 😉

    Thank him for his email and ask where he wants to meet and when. Keep it simple. Post his responses and the SD panel here will help you get some dinero pronto. 😉

    Please don’t go into silly details OK. Your goal is to get money and not get all tangled up with emotions and such.

  81. Sugardoll says:

    I dont think any man or SD will care about stretchmarks or how ur body looks as long as he feels comfortable and enjoy your company…remember the way u reflect yourself is how others going to see u… just feel confidence about your body and forget about it.

  82. SugarySpicey says:

    Lucy – every SD is different in their expectations of perfect, remember they’re still men and different men are into different things.

    Some SDs would be turned off by anything not in a 19 year-old package, some won’t care, some won’t notice. Also, some women have stretch marks just from puberty and not related to childbirth at all.

    I’m super lucky that I’ve never had any, but I have a tiny ballerina frame which some SDs like, while others prefer voluptuous double D’s – you’ll find all sorts of preferences (though being physically fit will never do you wrong).

    I would advise SBs NOT to tell men on the Internet that you you don’t know VERY well that you have children as there are a lot of predators out there.

  83. SugarySpicey says:

    Although I do not agree with what you say, I will fight to the death for your right to say it.

    – Voltaire

    Thank you to those of you supporters of the 1st Amendment who emailed your support and well wishes and the brave few who pointed out publicly that in this country we do not believe someone should be threatened, intimidated, and stalked for voicing an opinion – even Softi made it clear that publicly violating someone’s privacy on the blog violates the social contract.

  84. Josh says:


    Aren’t you a cutie pie. 😉 Muah!

  85. LucyLove says:

    Do SD’s have a problem with SB’s that have had children? I am asking because SB’s with children obviously don’t have the same body as one that hasn’t had children yet. Do the stretchmarks bother you?

  86. Mslatina says:

    Okkk… im wondering if there is something i should answer to this lol

    Weekend is great – how is yours?!??!!

    Tell me about yourself… more than just the profile… be open… honest… But don’t tell me your life story, leave me some mystery 🙂 *****HE IS ASKING ME NOT TO TELL HIM MY LIFE STORY LOL***

    I am new to this site (only a couple of days)… but not new to NSA relationships. I have a wife (with whom I have 4 kids) and a girlfriend (with whom I have 3 kids)…

    OH WOW *** IS THIS WHAT U WANT TO DO @Sunshine

    My life is extremely complicated as it is, so I am not looking for anything that requires more commitments than I already have. I am looking for a mutually beneficial relationship from time to time based on my travel schedule as time permits.

    I am not looking for a sponsorship arrangement from the get go. Right now I am looking for more of a tell me what you want, and I will do the same. If we like each other we do this for a while. if it is mutual there is chemistry or more then we can chat more and go deeper. if not then no one feels cheated…

    I like nice things, and I like to spoil. However I am not fancy. I prefer jeans and a tshirt over a suit. However I can sport either if the occasion calls for it…

    I like short weekend getaways or even single evening meetings for dinner drinks and whatever else the night may bring.

    I am categorically not wanting a relationship, maybe a longer term daddy baby relationship, but it would be based on chemistry and could be discussed down the road (as I previously mentioned)… otherwise, i would like to know what is what on a case by case basis…

    I am rarely in the NYC (or even US) these days. I live primarily between Eastern Europe and Asia. I will elaborate in more detail on where if I we decide to chat more.

    My ideal arrangement for a first time meeting consists of a single dinner / drinks / good time… see what happens and go from there… Hence it would have to based on us being in the same location at the same time as it would not be worth either of our time to travel only to find out the shoe does not fit.

    Depending on the arrangement will depend on what I am willing to give. the more you give, the more I give. It is simple. Consider my generosity to have a direct correlation with yours… I am like a mirror, meaning my generosity reflects yours.

    I hate being hurried or feeling like i am on the clock. These things should be fun and not mechanical. I am looking for such an arrangement because I want no complications, not because it is my only option. I will treat my baby w/ respect, as long as she will do the same. So the question is – where do we go from here?

    Tell me about our ideal first “arrangement” what to expect etc. Remember this is my first time on this site. Again not to say I am unexperienced w/ NSA relationships, as I love them. I will never meddle in your personal life nor ask you questions, i expect the same from you. I told you about my life all I wanted to disclose in a couple of sentences about – so don’t ask me more about it 🙂 I would kindly expect that you do the same, beyond that, lets share small talk and take a break from the boring and have some fun.

    Tag you’re it!

    Lets keep it fun, but light and see what happens.

    Are you game?


  87. Zack says:

    The egg. Ask the DNA.

  88. aliceS says:

    Hmm. . I wonder if it works. And thx katpaw

  89. Josh says:


    Can you please resolve the riddle: Which one came first; chicken or egg? 😉

  90. KatPaw says:

    Click on SA blog tips and tricks and it gives instructions

  91. KatPaw says:

    @aliceS yup all mine lol love them each tatt has special meaning to me. I am addicted to being tattooed but I like to be able to hide them as I wish.. So running out of usable canvas. Purrrrr thank you 🙂

  92. aliceS says:

    And how can I upload a picture here as well?

  93. aliceS says:

    @katpaw does those are yours tattoos? ? I love em Btw. I’m a tattoo maniac as well 🙂

  94. KatPaw says:

    Josh oh Josh does every post you make have to bash women in some way? It gets very repetitive.. We get it you think all women are evil relationship wreaking entitled snatches.. Can you give up on it already?? Geeze sick of reading it..
    Please feel free to give your advice and opinions but please leave the women bashing out of it.

  95. Sugardoll says:

    @josh yes, Cheating is a good example of why we (women ) do those kind of things, if u got a good pussy at home, why to go looking for one nite stand pussy outside!! and sadly thats the best punishment.. and u might say ‘ yes he still can go out and get other pussies” but the worst thing to worry a guy is to pull the pussy away think what he consider “The pussy he owns cuz im his gf ” u dont value it, u wont have it!! u will never get a birthday celebration party for cheating!! noway!!

  96. Sugardoll says:

    @Josh.. I dont let them know about sex, cuz I have sex appeal… Ive always heard that from my personal male friends, BF, Ex Bf. Ive had sex partners they get nervous when their close to me…adding that im not shy at all, im latina, im very proud of my body, i love my skin color, i have a full package of what most of the guys are attracted to. But my friends says that when u look at my face is like i have the word sex printed on my forehead..!! so thats why i prefer to leave the sex conversation for later lmao!!!

  97. Zack says:

    Saw that one.

  98. Josh says:


    Thank you for being another of my exampkes of how women proactively sabotage relationships. 😉

  99. Sugardoll says:

    NC Gent

    Hahaha im not sure what pussy power is… but def. vaginas are powerfull and weird is a way to manage men sometimes, when i was mad w my ex bf on regular dating… there was no vagina..!! i also used to sleep in another bed, so he couldn’t even touch me..Actually once he was on a middle of a basketball game w his friends and i walked though him and told him “houston we have a problem” (i wanted to have sex lol ) he just quit the game..!!lol

  100. Josh says:


    The first rule of my SB dating is RESPECT. I give them a lot of respect while they play all kind of Cosmo-inspired games. At some point in the courtship they put me in the white knight category. Then everything goes as I want. 😉

  101. aliceS says:

    Uhm.. Those were my bf and ex husband dear @Sugardoll. And I did it for free 🙂

  102. aliceS says:

    @Sugardoll, I’m sorry for mistake then. I don’t know why I thought it was you. Though I’m sure your curves are beautiful. I’m trying to gain weight still. I was always so skinny. Btw, should I tell him I have kids? I don’t plan to live with him. But should I? Or should I rather avoid the topic?

  103. Josh says:

    “but i never let them know about the sex part”

    Because Cosmopolitan et al has done a great job training you and your girlfriends and your mother and her girlfriends and your grandmother and her girlfriends. 😉

  104. Sugardoll says:


    u the winner… u have been w 8 guys already….lol… like how,? oh well…i dont know i usually dont feel comfortable being w someone i dont like…but how? did u get something good $$$???!!!!!! (experience) lol

  105. Sugardoll says:


    How can i get allowance from a SD i have just msg…give me the clue to put that on practice, lol

  106. aliceS says:

    Sugardoll I don’t have problem with sex, at least none that I’m aware of. But assuming I’m gonna jump to bed with a guy after saying hi, it’s madness. And asking him for any allowances after hi, I can’t imagine as well. But I like to know with whom I’m sleeping. I went to bed with 8 different man’s, for right now. I don’t want to double that number in week just because I’m having first dates with potential SD. and Josh, no. I don’t think he have any problems with his penis. I’m sure he is a gentleman, and will proceed the talk after we met. But I appreciate his behavior, we spoked over the phone today, and I’m glad I will see him soon.

  107. Josh says:

    Ok. I got a great deal. Yessssss!

  108. NC Gent says:

    Sugardoll – I am baffled by that too, not just in sugar dating. I gave up trying to figure out why some women feel they need to meter out sex or make the guy earn sex when you are in a committed relationship. I dated more than one woman like that. * shrugs *

  109. Josh says:

    Talking about hump day…I just got a booty text from a pot who actively pursued me first…then disappeared for a week and now wants to skip ecerything and hump…hmmm…and of course she wants some allowance. Lets see what I can negotiate with her. 😉

  110. Sugardoll says:

    Well i dont mention money not on the first date, and sometimes not even in the 2nd, but yes before the 3rd date, unless he brings up the topic, i just had 1 SD date and i liked it, kind of short…i would like to know when i will see him again, but im not the one whos gna ask him..But during conversations previous to the 1rst date i avoid talking about allowances…but as soon as i ask them, what they looking for they all mention, companion, fun, connection and obviously and not less sex. lol…im looking for the same exact things (but i never let them know about the sex part)

  111. KatPaw says:

    Meow happy hump day sugars!

  112. Josh says:

    The best first meeting is when SD does not mention sex and SB does net mention money.

    Alas…SBs insist on mentioning money (and lots of it) and insist on lack of mention of sex by the SDs.

  113. Sugardoll says:

    There is one thing i dont understand bout some SB’s they keep complaining bout guys looking for sex, and i will say this… When im attracted to a man SD, Regular Dating, eventually i want to sex him up to…If i have my SD and he makes me feel comfortable, safe, wanted… of course i would like to have sex w him too… why all the SB’s in here take sex like is a big deal…or i like sex more than the average women..??

  114. Sugardoll says:

    Uhmmm… No that was not me… I have a 2 pictures of my pretty face on my prof. i will never put a public pic of my body lmao!!!

  115. Josh says:


    Eunuch – A man with nonexistent or non-functioning penis.

  116. gentle(man)soul says:


    ” my potential SD next Thursday in Paris. And he didn’t mentioned sex once ”

    he’s maybe gay,impotent ?

    Seriously ,if I am meeting a Pot in my area without a big travel commitment I would not focus on sex OR money . I just meet them ,have fun ,and see if we turn each other on . It is good to know if they are : 1) GPS and /or 2) no sex girls . Those two are deal breakers

  117. Sugardoll says:

    lol Darkhorse, Honestly… I dont have any SD who does not ask me or put sex upfront when i ask them what they expect from their SB.

    More after we exchange pictures on the phone…(cuz they say i got features lol) i wish all of them just ask me for panties and dirty talk w no sex….i can definitely do that.

    Alice im 37 I say it proudly here cuz im on the blog, but in my regular life i say im 28 cuz people dont trust me and i hate being ask for my ID and worst people telling me my ID is fake. lol

  118. aliceS says:

    I saw your profile when it was available here. Or am I miss understand here. You had your link added here. Didn’t you. I couldn’t see your face, but long dress and damn. Those curves

  119. Sugardoll says:

    How do u know i got curves? lol

  120. DarkHorseSD says:

    People ask for a forum, but we need an “I don’t want him, you take him” exchange.

  121. aliceS says:

    Josh what eunuch mean?

  122. aliceS says:

    @DarkHorse that’s a great idea I think. Though I don’t have such sexy curves as Sugardoll. And her young age 🙂

  123. Josh says:


    “And he didn’t mentioned sex once 🙂 I like that guy.”

    Why didn’t you say earlier that you were into eunuch SDs?

  124. DarkHorseSD says:

    If s.doll and Alice swap profile numbers of SDs they deal with things will be just fine.

  125. aliceS says:

    @DarkHorse I will wait for your update on it. I am very very curious with what she come up. 🙂

  126. aliceS says:

    Sugardoll I’m glad I give you an opportunity to laugh. 🙂 and I officially announce I’m going to met my potential SD next Thursday in Paris. And he didn’t mentioned sex once 🙂 I like that guy.

  127. Sugardoll says:

    *wouldnt (an edidt bottom needed)

  128. Sugardoll says:

    hahahaah omg i was trying to catch up w alice post and answers but their to much and im dead…

    Or send me your panties for 350? Or someone expect me to message them dirty msg for a week,

    I wish that would be all i have to do for SDs i can send him a different color shape pantie everyday if he wants it… lol..And talk dirty msg…

    Like really – I wishh to be asked for those silly things (for me) than been asked for ” who would want to be with a sexy girl like you” all i read when they tell me that is sex,sex,sex.lol

  129. Zack says:

    @ DH: There may be a hefty bit of that, if I read it right. It’ll pass. Hopefully just not ’round and ’round.

  130. Josh says:


    “I hope I can find a one great SD, so I don’t have to go through all of that first date sex…”

    Well to find your knight SD in a shinning armor you will have to kiss a few dicks, literally and figuratively. 😉

    “and end up with glowing green vagina.”

    Don’t worry, vagina is lot resilient than you think.

  131. DarkHorseSD says:

    Alice asked: “Good question, what she replied? Hope she didn’t propose you buying her panties just kidding, I couldn’t help myself”

    She hasn’t read it yet, switch means she probably went out to breakfast after her strip club closed and got to bed after 6am.

  132. DarkHorseSD says:

    Zack, I imagine you as a frustrated sex on the baggage carousel type of sd.

  133. Josh says:


    I know that long-distance arrangements are different, but what percentage of SDs in your opinion reveal their true identity to local SBs?

  134. Zack says:

    …which you knew all along, and why your wordsmithing for her was majestically evil. LoL

  135. DarkHorseSD says:

    The point is Alice is not the sex on the first night of travel type of SB, so she can’t match up with the sex on the first night of travel sd.

  136. Eloquence says:

    @ Zack

    What link to where? I’m not on SA at present.

  137. aliceS says:

    Maybe you right Onyx. I hope I can find a one great SD, so I don’t have to go through all of that first date sex and end up with glowing green vagina.

  138. onyx_percula says:

    @ aliceS et al — “Sugar is what you make it! There are no rules except those you agree to. There are no expectations that are not clearly set.”

    The translation is simple. Every pot SD and pot SB is going to be different, have their own rules, their own expectations. Some SDs demand sex up front, some don’t. Some only want to give gifts other don’t, and so on.

    This is one of the reasons why it takes time to find the right person to make an arrangement with. Somethings you can compromise on, others will be hard and fast rules for you, for them. Getting everything to line up, sync up isn’t always easy.

    From my own experience… I got a wink from a girl in the early AM, 2 messages on SA, two emails in the afternoon, met that evening and had sex that evening. Versus many messages on SA, emails, txt, calls over many months, meeting multiple times before having sex. Both are excellent memorable experiences. I still have something with both girls…

  139. aliceS says:

    Gentleman soul that’s the point. We both know before the meeting on what we agreed. I don’t have 15 years to believe in real love or romance. I’m not as well desperate old woman, that is agreed for all. So, if a potential SD tells me he can’t send me some information about him to confirm that he is he, and change plans everyday. I’m not agreed.

  140. Eloquence says:

    @ Zack

    Blog gods please give Zack my email so he may contact me.

  141. gentle(man)soul says:

    @Newly minted

    ” — not looking for a sexual relationship of any kind, yet expect gifts/allowance ”

    Rare demand but do not even respond . They need to realize that they can’t put that drivel in their profile at all . They will be on the Blog asking why no SD will respond .

    @alice s

    ” But as soon I realized he want to book only one room, I was pretty stunned. I never met him, and I suppose to sleep with him already? In one bed?? Hell no.”

    Contrary to some advice here ,here is what I expect of my SB and to date have been 100% successful.

    I expect to sleep with my Pot SB if an overnight visit with Hotel accommodations are made . This is made very clear up front and all the due diligence taken care of in advance by both parties . Sugar life is not an IRL dating experience. I want sex and she wants –a meaningful relationship . Obviously , a Pot SB can change her mind when meeting her Pot SD ,but intentions have to be clear . Alice ,if I pay you to come see me we will be doing the deed . (And you would not be able to resist anyway LOL )

  142. aliceS says:

    Good question, what she replied? Hope she didn’t propose you buying her panties 🙂 just kidding, I couldn’t help myself

  143. DarkHorseSD says:

    Last night as I slept, a message was sent by an SB informing me of how lucky I am to have received her number (cell)

    I wrote back that I have a lot of such luck and asked her how she will stand out from the rest.

  144. aliceS says:

    I’m not in college age, I’m 29. So I’m far after college. And yes, DarkHorse if that’s was a deal, I wouldn’t even think twice 🙂 I will ask him if he still want my panties though 🙂

  145. Josh says:


    Lookup “Vulva Original” on Amazon and do whatever is needful for your panties guy. 😉

  146. DarkHorseSD says:

    Agree to sex discounted to $80 with each $350 purchase of panties left behind.

  147. Flyr says:

    @ Alice “. I thought he was a really nice guy. Guess my judgment need more training.”

    To be describes as Discriminating used to be a compliment . PC has done away with that. IRL and in sugarland one of the daily challenges is to make reasoned judgements between good people and predators (economic, social and political) who sound just as sincere and convincing . or perhaps more.

    I think the tipoffs were moving the meeting when you said you had a friend in the area and “we’ll have two beds” . That’s part of the process of separating the good guys from the predators.

    For student SB’s first meet should not include rooms in the same hotel.

    The easy answer was for him to come to you for a get acquainted meeting.

  148. Josh says:


    You sound like a verby sweet woman.

    We want you to make gobs of money so that you stick around for a long time. Just don’t lock yourself into tunnel vision and then whine about lack of real SDs.

    THAT panties guy is a real SD and no travel stree is needed. If you fail to appreciate the fact then it’s no one else’s fault.

  149. Josh says:

    Use them for 5. As long as no DNA trace it on them why should you care?

    This is where many SBs blindsight themselves from money making opportunities.

  150. aliceS says:

    Well he wanted me to use them for 3 days? LMAO

  151. Josh says:

    What wrong with selling a $10 panties for $350? 😉 Make sure no DNA trace is on the panties though.

  152. aliceS says:

    Josh you have no idea, how much I’d love to move on from no SD to a real SD. That’s why I signed up on that site. Though I don’t think I should consider all msg I receive as valuable. For example. I pay you 800 dollars for having sex 10 times a month. Or send me your panties for 350? Or someone expect me to message them dirty msg for a week, with no further information, where it gonna lead us? I may have some serious date in Paris soon. Not sure yet. I will keep updating on it.

  153. Zack says:

    Ladies, stating something like “I know what this site is about/for” is an effective phrase in a profile. The effect can vary 😀

  154. NC Gent says:

    ooops asexual not “a sexual”

  155. NC Gent says:

    regarding a sexual arrangements… I have noticed a large increase in the number of profiles that state NSA (No sex allowed). I think it stems from the Cosmopolitan article that gave the illusion that there are plenty of men out there just willing to provide financial support for the honor to take them to lunch, dinner, etc. Some are forthright about it; others you have to discover it… just varies on how much time or money it will cost you to discover the NSA intentions.

  156. Josh says:


    Also, please keep in mind that this is not a SB whinning blog.

    The most valuable advice will come from SDs, which you have been getting. And there is just so much that can be advised anyway. That is:

    1. Keep your life and limb safe AT ALL TIMES.

    2. Get a fair combination of allowance (cash/shopping/gifts).

    3. Make the SD happy.

    4. Get naked when the time is right.

    5. Repeat.

    Maybe, just maybe you need to decide if you are willing, ready and able to be someone’s SB.

    It YOUR life and only YOU can decided if this space is for you or not.

  157. DarkHorseSD says:

    “Hmm, so why did I still message a few of those…I gotta wonder. :/”

    I marvel at the differences in who I’m attracted to at 3am and 11am.

  158. Josh says:


    How about something like?

    1. When were you last tested for STD?

    2. I want you to pay for X panel tests for both of us before we sleep together.

    The sooner you move on from dilly-dally and get naked the better it is for both of you.

    I would prefer to hear bedroom tales from you already [if you cared to share] instead of all them hookups that are NOT happening and the gory details of the same. 😉

    Is there any specific reason why you keep communicating with “it’s not going to happen” SDs?

    Speed up sweetheart, you are taking too long…and best of success in the sugarville. 🙂

  159. aliceS says:

    @DarkHorse that should” modification is awesome. And sounds pretty good. And i wanted to correct my upper phrase to is there is a official. ..? Cause my phone, decided I wanted to say something else.

  160. Zack says:

    Yeah, failure to explain expectations on both sides. I’m not sure “experience” is the best way to improve that, but it’s the normal one, and rather necessary for perspective.

    Most guys don’t have the luxury of isolating and forgetting a budget…there are at least opportunity costs still causing pressure. It helps to have actual numbers agreed to, at least for the minimum expenses….and have a separate “discretionary” portion adaptable to the circumstance. (perhaps “deserved” as a person vs. “earned” as an arrangement?) But I suppose we tend to find our own mechanisms for assessment, with experience.

    I’m much more active here on the blog than on the site, recently. So I started looking again…I had forgotten how many of the profiles are stunningly obvious dead ends. Hmm, so why did I still message a few of those…I gotta wonder. :/

    @eq: I can’t follow your link to the site, I’m not sure how that works. Since we’re both seeking, and you can travel, I’d like to talk, though. England is out of my range for this year, I think, if that’s a concern. Potentially housing a committed SB who is also at least as importantly a mother…is a consideration, but not a problem for me, long term.

  161. aliceS says:

    @DarkHorse yeah, I’m sure. Well I wouldn’t mind it, if A I already knew him, and B I at least knew he was the person, on the pictures I received. Otherwise I don’t sleep with stranger, I never did and I don’t see a reason, why I should start to do so. Is that is a official, non-offensive way, how to ask a potential SD a health records about HIV or some other common infection, we can exchange, while sexual encounter? I mean, I would love to provide him with mine results as well.

  162. DarkHorseSD says:

    ” he shouldn’t invite people to come.”

    ‘Should’ statements should always be avoided. I once read a book about how unhealthy they are.

    Replace with, ‘I’m not the right one to invite for this and now that we have found that out its no big deal, we will find someone else.’

  163. DarkHorseSD says:

    Alice, in fairness, he wanted one room with two beds and most likely intended to sleep with you in both.

  164. aliceS says:

    @Zack I think if someone can’t afford travel expenses and hotel costs, he shouldn’t invite people to come. I know it cost and there is a risk he won’t like me or I don’t like him. We never know. But I never asked him to invite me, and he even asked me what are mine expectation for those two days I would spend with him. I told him that I don’t have one, and I that I think as for our first meeting is more than enough. If he would enjoy my company and want to offer me something after all, I would love it. But I don’t think that discussing it over email before we even met, have any point.

  165. Eloquence says:

    @ Zack

    So much I could say to the personality traits.. and due to lack of proper communication and undesirable outside forces from the “get go” I sincerely doubt change will ever arise… but I will keep my tongue in check and stop here on that note.

    I love to travel and have the ability to do so. What do I not enjoy? :)… I simply have been shall we say “sheltered” where as my imagination has no bounds only my experience to date of landmarks has been limited by not venturing out or having the burning desire to do so until now ……I am not such the bore that my style of writing preference may depict of me.

  166. aliceS says:

    Yes. Thank you DarkHorse as well. I think you are right, about staying at my friends house. Though I don’t want him him feel uncomfortable as well. And I agreed for a hotel. But as soon I realized he want to book only one room, I was pretty stunned. I never met him, and I suppose to sleep with him already? In one bed?? Hell no.

  167. Zack says:

    @ Alice…definitely a caution, but possible normal. Define an expense budget separate from sugar/time/allowance, just to make the meet happen. Include food, travel and lodging. Get that in fractions, at least, and use it to pay the way…your treat, his budget…mix well and bake.

    It should highlight coming money conflict., I think. If you’re seeking shorter term with this SD, focus on fun and not keeping him. If you’re interested in long term, try being frugal but “save” budget for a treat he can give you…and see how he handles money.

  168. DarkHorseSD says:

    (Private) I mean a separate place to stay from the man you are meeting for the first time.

  169. aliceS says:

    Flyr thank you. I explained to him, that travel for me is no problem, if we stay at the X town, cause I was there before. And have a friend, obviously. He changed the X town to the Y situated on other part of the country. I was like what? Specially, if the only costs I ask to cover is my travel and a hotel room. No allowance, no other costs. I will be more careful next time. I thought he was a really nice guy. Guess my judgment need more training.

  170. DarkHorseSD says:

    Alice, I think it is smart to travel to a place where you have a friend. Even better, stay with the friend.

    It is a bad idea to go where you do not have private accommodations.

  171. DarkHorseSD says:


    My love for you gets me through it all 😀

  172. Flyr says:

    Alice – “I told him I won’t travel, and that I wish him luck with next SB.”

    Lesson learned – He was either looking for a prostitute at a bargain price or a victim.

  173. Zack says:

    Eq, I reread, I’m sorry.

    Yes, either he has a controlling personality that is unlikely to change significantly (though you could establish a protected niche or bubble as an SB in his world), or you’ve been judged less than desirable and are being coldly, slowly, dismissed. His side is underrepresented here, I’d caution.

    I’ts gotta hurt. But try to move on. Options help. How are you for travel, and what do you enjoy? Warm water is relaxing, but if it gets cold, time to add energy or get out.

    Do you travel? Does this advice seem too shallow? I’m trying to pace for the yearlings…

  174. aliceS says:

    Hi all, my SD suddenly changed town of our meeting. First one, as soon as I told him I’m ok with traveling there, since I have friends over there. I ask for a separate room in a hotel. He was like, nah. 2 bed is ok, cause its over caution two different rooms. Am I overreacting thinking it’s a red flag? I told him I won’t travel, and that I wish him luck with next SB.
    He just replied to me, wow. You worry too much, bless you.

  175. Zack says:

    Josh, many people will notice disclaiming an extreme position by allowing it applies only Almost Always…as rather incendiary and disingenuous.

    …If another were to lob “many” and “most” like you, you’d be howling for numbers, you dog! 😛


  176. Zack says:

    Eq: Obligations go both ways. Is he satisfied you keep yours? If the communication and allowance are regularly pulled as a reward, he’s got control issues. If there seems to be a consistent reason for conflict, though…it should be identifiable.

    An allowance based on need for a dependent isn’t something for games. But…does the allowance preclude sugar? Then the SD is more like a husband or serf, and probably not feeling very happy. Budget luxuries early.

    Bright budgetary lines need to be observed, lest contrariwise nit-picking can slide an SD’s allowance right out the door. Expectations escalate, on both sides, as the relationship “normal” establishes, are you in a negotiation? That might be a yellow flag, depending on style and empathy.

    We all make mistakes…if we got it perfect much, we probably wouldn’t be here…a horseshoe brings luck turned up, not down 😀

  177. Josh says:


    You have a lot more patience than I do. Coming from an SB, I had no interest in reading or even skimming that convoluted collection of words.

    Rule #X: Many women will throw you into a tangled up mess and expect you to decipher and act on that tangled up mess as they amused themselves.

    Good guys finished last because they are wasting their time in deciphering the tangled up mess to hopefully getting the pussy at some point.

    All the while the bad boys are focusing on the pussy and getting it on-demand because many women secretly RESPECT the man who does not give a shit about getting all tangled up on their delusional wishes and desires, and THAT is the real man for them.

    Come to think of it that a real man indeed.

    Note: I did not say “All women” so if you write a response, let it come after sharpening up your reading comprehension skills. 😉

  178. MissBabyJ says:

    I wonder if it would be possible to get a forum on the site? There are so many conversations that I want to follow, but every time I go offline, things move on and it’s not always easy to pick the flow of conversation back up.

  179. Eloquence says:

    @ DarkHorse

    Stud Horsey you!! Nicely done.

  180. DarkHorseSD says:

    I have translated and gender neutralized* the post. It says…

    If you don’t take care of your sd/SB they will begin to suck and you will lose interest in them as they in you and it will all suck until its over.

    If you both don’t suck, you will be nearly naked all the time.

    Hopefully the next relationship won’t suck.

    * Note: guys generally suck until they are 40.

  181. DarkHorseSD says:

    Josh, read the first paragraph about not following through on promises like you would The Declaration of Independence.

    When I decode the rest, I’ll get back to you LOl

  182. Josh says:


    Come again, sweetheart? 😉

  183. Eloquence says:

    After consideration of thought (due to people reading who may not have an idea of what I say specifically so as to elaborate, placing part of my thoughts in laymen terms here as I type). Keep in mind the lack luster can be lost multiple ways on both sides since non of us trot, gallop or race the same. So I decided to come back and reference when I stated;

    “Behavioral patterns of the SD lacks luster until their mine is shut down by their own dynamite to leave ashes at their feet.”

    (I spelled dynamite wrong above to give an added effect due to an 80″s sitecome playing in my head…and again, I realize many things are lost in translation in a black and white cold typed canvas without voice inflection to add color or when the scene is not set appropriately)….

    A SD “lacks luster” over time when he states/promises he will buy/give/do/be something that he never follows through with (and possibly never had any intention to do so, only he can answer for himself, not I). However, that IS the whole point, lack of follow through and your shine is gone. He never had to speak something to begin with, but once he did on his own accord, and when he, dare I say, does it on an on-going basis over stretches of time of multiple arrays of not being a supportive factor in a SB’s life which individually I take it to heart simply because I AM a single mother and (I view/perceive those added needs/gifts promises as a blessing) more so than a new pair of shoes or a shiny trinket to impress a girlfriend or a neighbor. And in all truth to myself and to the one being spoken of here or any SD for that matter.. There are only so many times that you can say you will do something for a woman and not follow through that you lose the respect she had placed on you.

    You chair is slowly swiveling back to the ground from the height of the pedestal she had you placed on. And eventually she no longer cares what you may think your worth because you have spit the gleam out of her own eye she had for you by your own doing or NOT doing.

    Yes, I also have to speak further truth here and state (as the lump in my throat doesn’t want to admit) that in turn it showed me what he thought of me or rather put.. That he didn’t and doesn’t think highly of me for his actions spoke volumes by what he didn’t do and there were no need for words, the evidence was quite a loud translucent reflection of silence with the exception of crickets in the night.

    Its one thing if you get in a tiff from lack of communication and it happens once.. Its another when it is an on-going event where needs (insert whatever floats your boats here to fancy each one of you that gets you sexually aroused/feeling loved/etc..) are never met that are promised/offered and IMHO if the SD is really worth keeping he will show the woman he is not worth losing either. And yes, men expect sex or some act or art of sex at their whim of appearance I am aware. However, if you provide a sense of consistency/stability and genuine care intertwined in the equation then there wouldn’t even be a question of how some men run their space with idiocracy and “nit pick” her actions because a woman will meet you at the door in the manner you request in scandily clad attire or handle herself provocatively on all accords for her man and no, he will not have to ask or insinuate for she is being handled with care and will respond before you have time to ask. Possibly that comes with age that must be sought well over 40 for a man… or so I am beginning to wonder..

    Each is to their own and no, it left me knowing I did not handle my horse with the right stroke (on purpose or not), however over time, I no longer desired to even stroke my horse much lest straddle him to ride.

    So what does one do? One will make a safe bet by heading to the track for a pure thoroughbred this time who can cross the channel of water with ease and make great strides once he reaches land.

  184. Josh says:


    “So I’m new to the site…and I’ve been looking at a lot of profiles and lots of SB’s state that they are not looking for a sexual relationship of any kind, yet expect gifts/allowance/shopping trips. Is this the norm now??”

    Many girls on this site expects gifts/allowance/shopping just for breathing while being around you. I call it vagina proximity toll. But who cares what I call it? 😉 Since they have brought their vagina within few feet of you, and know that you are dying to get into their panties, their delusion instructs them that you must pony up their VPT.

    In the context of this site, the “I won’t sleep with you” has sub-categories:

    1) I won’t sleep with you just cuz I know I can swindle men for money without dropping my panties,

    2) I won’t sleep with you because collecting money to sleep with you is like being a prostitute, and I am not a prostitute YOU OLD FAT BALDING CREEP.

    3) I won’t sleep with you for the amount of money you are offering me.

    4) I won’t sleep with you if you are X number of years older than me,

    5) I won’t sleep with you because __________.

    The blank in #5 and the reasoning for #4 comes from girly magazines, such as, Cosmo et al., what their mother/grandmother told them, or what is not cool with their girlfriends.

    “I mean why the hell would I pay any of these girls cash for their time when I could just go to a strip club?”

    Because they have been led to believe through MIT-educated Brandon Wade’s marketing machine that most men on this site are either looking for “arm candy” or dying to help a struggling woman with tuition, rent, or whatever.

    The reality is that most men are here for one and only reason; V A G I N A; just like they are on any other website.

    Note that I did not say “all” men. It is because “some” men ARE indeed looking for arm candy and some men are do enjoy helping others, including these young ladies.

    Don’t waste your money on money pit strip clubs. They are waste of time, unless you like to drink beer as you watch skin. If you like that, then spend money on the cover charge and beer but not on the girls.

    The V A G I N A party at SA is on-going and is real. You just need to know how to tip the bouncer, so to speak, 😉 which is no illegal monetary bribe at all. You have already paid Brandon good amount of money. Now learn how to work this site.

    “Not all of them are as delusional though…but I thought I’d like to hear other SD’s opinions on this.”

    Most of them are delusional in one way or the other. However, MIT-educated Brandon Wade’s marketing machine has brought so many delusional women here that the odds are tipped in SD’s favor. If you know how to charm women– here or at any other place–then you will do well.

    Ask specific questions here on the blog and SDs will give you specific advice. Keep in mind that some advice-dishing SDs are delusional as well. I will point them when they respond to you. Your best in-the-trenches advice will come from DarkHorseSD, FatBastardSD, and yours truly.

    On top of that, from time to time, the big kahuna of this blog, SD Guru, will appear and provide you mighty sage advice. Pay special attention to that.

    In closing, don’t listen to any SB’s advice. Most of them are delusional as we have established above. LOL!

  185. Zack says:

    Ahh, yes, who here said something like, “Money always matters?”

  186. flyR says:

    “””So I’m new to the site…and I’ve been looking at a lot of profiles and lots of SB’s state that they are not looking for a sexual relationship of any kind, yet expect gifts/allowance/shopping trips. Is this the norm now?? “”””””

    My guess is that the real message is make me a better offer, but I can always claim that I was just here looking for a nice man.

    On occasion I have answered similar ads with something like You sound nice but I would never consider a sugar relationship without sex. Good luck in your search. More than half the time the reply is that she is open to sex “with the right man”

  187. flyR says:

    “””Since we are fantasizing given the same amount of money you are talking about I would set up a communal dorm with separate bedrooms or pleasure centers for each of the girls rotating through through the Gentle Soul Center for Spiritual Enlightenment . There will be a maximum census at any given time of 5 girls . Pregnant girls will be allowed to stay until 1 year postpartum ,but must care for their own babies . There will be common game and recreation areas as well as a professional kitchen ,outdoor interest areas including gardening, pool ,hot tub ,massage therapy and gym . All room and board will be included in addition to an allowance and transportation to the city center “”””

    A much simpler model is the Topkapi Palace in Istanbul – There’s the Sultan’s “room” with a dorm like wing -concubines wing – just of the room. Below the Sultan’s windows is a huge pool for the nubile young ladies to display their charms. At this time the guys on the tour are stoked, this is the life . They we turn left into the Eunuchs quarters and all the guys are a little less enthused.

    Without a Sultan’s income some of today’s fantasies seem products of fantasies

  188. Zack says:

    Some things don’t need words.


  189. Eloquence says:

    @ Kindred

    Thank you the hug and of course I return the indebtedness of.timing to perfecton and with the same strength as to which it was sent.
    I do not doubt that the “roughness of a diamond” that no mortal man can create is with which the value lies. And tis true with a pure “spit shine”and “elbow grease” of the right man with a clear keen eye to its clarity can cut it to distinction. Again allow me to emphasize the right man/curated kind, only can such a kind will do.
    Behavioral patterns of the SD lacks luster until their mine is shut down by their own dynomite to leave ashes at their feet and the market turns gray and their fortunes have been sold for them to scavenge empty lined pockets.
    So to original statement…yes, there are those who are not seethers if they have the disernment to know what needs water and what needs tossing. Each of us look through a different prism, yet the hug needed no explanation to explain and I thankyou.

  190. Zack says:

    First off, to clarify, “NSA” does not mean “no sex allowed.”

    I did have one of the latter cease email chatter when I asked how she intended to earn an allowance. My tone wasn’t quite that harsh, but I guess some SD’s might try to date long ter hoping to persuade them? Honestly, I can’t see a less ulterior motive being sincere 😛

  191. DarkHorseSD says:

    Pretty much everything is the norm now.

  192. NewlyMintedSD says:


    So I’m new to the site…and I’ve been looking at a lot of profiles and lots of SB’s state that they are not looking for a sexual relationship of any kind, yet expect gifts/allowance/shopping trips. Is this the norm now?? I mean why the hell would I pay any of these girls cash for their time when I could just go to a strip club?

    Not all of them are as delusional though…but I thought I’d like to hear other SD’s opinions on this.

  193. Zack says:

    You’ll still be adding potential for cooperative pull in directions not to your liking on top of drama in each pair. But if you’ve got time, resources and will to make the effort…I’m more interested than skeptical, and both sincerely.

  194. SunShineSD says:


    The holiday challenge is a lot easier than typical remarried families . . . because the people never took a vow of exclusivity to begin with therefore there had never been expectations of exclusivity or jealousy. How do office holiday parties go? when family members are allowed and all yummy food at the company expense? Do people fight all the time at the office holiday parties and the church holiday parties? Of course not.

  195. Zack says:

    Would the various families meet at the clubhouse for alternate Thanksgivings or birthdays? They wouldn’t be isolated, there’ll be…challenges, lol. Keep us posted 🙂

  196. SunShineSD says:


    Hugh Hefner runs a business that sells porn (and perhaps selling a “new social norm” decades ago in a different era being funded by someone with an agenda). The playboy house is only a marketing device for getting money from the horn dogs and engage in political pay-off’s. If he just wanted several girls in his life, he did not need to continue the house after 1975 at the latest.

    I have zero interest in communal living.

  197. MSugar says:

    Sugary – I wouldn’t like someone without knowing they’re real. I pretty much know everything about him and he’s 100% Google verified.

    It might not be whether he’s interested in me enough or not, but something else. I’ll just wait and see, and talk to other POTs in the meantime!

  198. Josh says:


    “Josh – Why keep talking to me then (serious question)?”

    Just idle flirting you while making reservations for the one he is going to fly in or go out to. That’s all. No big deal.

    Most women obsess over one man. Men can juggle multiple women at different levels of engagement. 😉

  199. SugarySpicey says:

    MSugar – Do you completely know who he is (as in 100% Google verified)? Good chance he’s a catfish. That tends to be what’s behind the men who keep talking to you but never want to meet face to face

  200. DarkHorseSD says:

    He isn’t entirely not into you.

  201. MSugar says:

    Josh – Why keep talking to me then (serious question)? But yeah, I’ll probably just delete him and move on.

  202. Josh says:


    We give low-down here. He is NOT into you. Move on. 😉

  203. DarkHorseSD says:

    Well right, who knows? What excitement is there?

  204. MSugar says:

    Josh – Is that relavant? But I’m in my early 20s. And these men aren’t, just the one I’m talking about.

  205. Josh says:


    How old are you and how are these “middle-aged” men making you soft? 😉

  206. MSugar says:

    DH: I’d say there are compelling reasons, but who knows. Plans are discussed but aren’t followed through every time. I don’t want to cut him off, I’ve gotten that close to him. But maybe I should?

    I’m usually more cold and find it easy to cut anyone off. These middle-aged men are making me soft. :p

  207. DarkHorseSD says:

    “Josh – a POT SD making excuses. Even if they’re legitimate, wouldn’t one make time at some point?”

    While I’m not Josh, a potential sd may not make time if there isn’t a compelling reason.

  208. MSugar says:

    Josh – a POT SD making excuses. Even if they’re legitimate, wouldn’t one make time at some point?

  209. Josh says:


    “A question for the SD’s: Have you ever ran into issues seeing a long-distance sugar baby? One can only have so many excuses…”

    Who is making excuses? And of what kind?

  210. MSugar says:

    I’ve came across SD’s on SA looking for a SB to carry a child, but never thought it was legitimate. Reminds me of the “sugar daddy” who was in college and looking for a woman to get married to, just for extra financial aid or something.

    A question for the SD’s: Have you ever ran into issues seeing a long-distance sugar baby? One can only have so many excuses…

  211. sweetie says:

    Zack, just as bad as before. Takes forever.

  212. Zack says:

    How is train travel in the US these days?

  213. DarkHorseSD says:

    Anyone want to meet up at Juniors in Grand Central for a black and white shake?

  214. Josh says:


    “I’m willing to sacrifice some economy of scale”

    Economy of scale!. WTF!

  215. sweetie says:

    This is getting more ridiculous every second.

  216. Zack says:

    Not that the two scenarios need be mutually exclusive if you aren’t. A known circle for SB’s might not be a bad thing.

  217. Zack says:

    I suppose it wouldn’t be a challenge if some difficulties didn’t present, but I don’t hear HH complain much.

  218. gentle(man)soul says:

    Communal living :

    Since we are fantasizing given the same amount of money you are talking about I would set up a communal dorm with separate bedrooms or pleasure centers for each of the girls rotating through through the Gentle Soul Center for Spiritual Enlightenment . There will be a maximum census at any given time of 5 girls . Pregnant girls will be allowed to stay until 1 year postpartum ,but must care for their own babies . There will be common game and recreation areas as well as a professional kitchen ,outdoor interest areas including gardening, pool ,hot tub ,massage therapy and gym . All room and board will be included in addition to an allowance and transportation to the city center . An education stipend will be part of the package . Membership will be a minimum of 1 semester and maximum open ended to be determined by the membership council . Admittance would depend on an extensive interview process including an initial M&G , followed by dinner and drinks for date # 2 ,then an overnight in the owner’s pleasure center . If both parties are in agreement then the SB becomes a member . Visitation with Gentle Soul will be determined on a rotating schedule each girl having a weeknight in the pleasure center and weekends to be determined extemporaneously . There might need to be a Major Domo in charge of Ladies’ services and I envision Spicey as a candidate for the job . She could also write about the concept ,deal with publicity ,do the montly newsletter ,keep up the website , and manage the reality show that certainly will develop .

    What do you guys think ? Oh Wait ! ? I think Hugh Hefner already thought of this .

  219. Kindred Spirit says:

    @KatPaw, “( a fav saying of mine is “quack quack I’m a duck quack quack water rolls off my back” )

    That’s so cute, love it!! ^_^

  220. SunShineSD says:

    I’m willing to sacrifice some economy of scale for promoting the kids’ individuality. No communism allowed. The separate houses will likely to be spread across an area about half an hour driving in radius. So they will just blend in with the rest of the city and suburbs. They can live in the “club house” during recovery from child birth, infancy, early toddlerhood, when extra helpers may be advantageous. Beyond that, they will be encouraged to live in and manage their own houses just like other families, except for the significant financial support and staff support for things like childcare during school vacation, major snow removal, tree cutting, etc..;

  221. KatPaw says:

    @Kindred wow love the response.. I personally try not to make judgements ( not my place to.) and in any public form there will be arguments and debates but certain things you can not let get under your skin.. ( a fav saying of mine is “quack quack I’m a duck quack quack water rolls off my back” )

  222. Zack says:

    There is still transportation and so many other economies of scale to be realized communally that it would be a pressure. Each pair should have a separate budget, but there would still be “chiseling” and that would cause strife.

    Open might work, you don’t seem to need to be an emotional dom in each relation, so the focus on children could work, and drama could walk with the SB back to her own asshole/drama victim. Keep the good, externalize the drama, lol.

    Cell phone plans, bulk groceries and food prep, etc…the communal thing pays for itself, financially, as opposed to isolated households. The interpersonal costs…those bills would toll for thee.

    Would be an arrangement to be wished, were it to be.

    Anyone know anything about Middle Eastern marriage culture? I don’t.

  223. gentle(man)soul says:

    separate households run on separate budgets for each mom-baby pair. ” Perhaps a community center for infants, early toddlers and after-school / summer camp etc. as well as financial management classes for the moms if not already done during the dating period. The teenagers will get their first jobs baby-sitting little siblings at the community center. Either cash or local credits at the center; no communism. ”

    Sounds Jim Jones-ish Cult activities . Could I be the grounds keeper even ? Lifeguard ?

  224. SunShineSD says:

    @ Kindred, Guru

    I wish the preggo drama were false. Wasted a year of my time, and tremendous heart ache. I will make posts shorter.

  225. SunShineSD says:

    I’m glad to be of positive influence in your life regarding your pending divorce. Just keep in mind that most people are like mirrors: the more antagonism you dish out, the more you get in return. So someone has to be nice first and call it truce, might as well be the gentleman. The earlier you do it the better, so both can still be optimistic about their futures. Divorces after retirement age are the worst because neither can hope for much income growth, so most times old couples just put up with each other. Since you are dabbling in sugar, being divorced is much better or you and your SB; in community asset states, your wife may well be able to sue the SB for every cent the husband has ever given to the SB. You will be getting your freedom back; keep your eyes on that, and treat her with kiddie gloves, and she will be good to the kids and be loyal to you, and teach the kids to respect and love you. Soon enough she will learn that you are better than 99% of the ex-husband “assholes” out there because her new single-mom friends will tell her all sorts of horror stories. Just tell her not to brag about how good you are, so as not to put too much pressure on other ex-husbands. She can be smug about it, and draw even closer to you, emotionally . . . meanwhile enjoy new freedom without having to worried about being caught!

    Yes, moral hazards. That’s another reason why I don’t want to run a communistic harem. Prefer separate households run on separate budgets for each mom-baby pair. Perhaps a community center for infants, early toddlers and after-school / summer camp etc. as well as financial management classes for the moms if not already done during the dating period. The teenagers will get their first jobs baby-sitting little siblings at the community center. Either cash or local credits at the center; no communism.

  226. Zack says:

    Josh, if he gets the physical plant and support infrastructure in place, he should probably sell partnership shares. Or at least local real estate.

  227. Josh says:

    If gentle is not selected for whstever reason, I am interested. I will get myself tested and allow you to quarantine me for x period of time to make sure that I am std free. 😉

  228. Kindred Spirit says:

    Maybe SunshineSD is another Beck persona? He writes in a similar style.

    Some bloggers here (past and present)…I have learned to take their posts with a grain of salt because there are so many inconsistencies it gets too silly and would be a waste of time to pick apart. So I just let it go, glance at their post a little or skip reading it completely when I see their name on top. Freedom of speech and all that, fine, but I choose not to believe in such negativity towards another and I won’t be pulled into it.

    A little drama on a blog can be expected with differing opinions, nothing wrong with that. Excessive drama runs others off the blog.

    Thinking outside the box, keeping an open mind, being respectful…I can only choose how I react to others; cannot change another’s mindset. In addition I try to think of what I hope to accomplish by opening my mouth, or by keeping quiet. 🙂

    @Eloquence, I am sorry to hear your hopes go so far down. Perhaps sugar relationships aren’t for you, only you can decide that…but if you decide to try it again someday, I have encouraging words that there ARE some really cool, sincere SDs out there. Diamonds in the rough are just as much the SDs as are the SBs! 😉 The search can feel daunting at times…true…. Hang in there if you wish, but I understand too if you don’t want to. *Virtual hug*

    A troll only keeps their momentum if they are eagerly fed. You can never over-feed a troll in hopes it will make them leave. Nothing pleases them more than being fed so they can dish out more, and get uglier while at it. A little sad to witness, but very easy to leave.

    It would not surprise me in the least if someone here were to try to mangle my words for their benefit, now or in the future. Put words in my mouth, etc, that weren’t actually said. Whatever. My post remains as stated and cannot be edited…(not even by me, ha!).

    What words you choose to say about another says more about you than it does about them (I guess what matters is if you care). Something I think about in everyday life as well. And kick myself for on the times I can act up. Hey, we’re all human and mess up on occasion! 🙂 It is possible to still be a better person for it, and not a worse one, though.

    Take care, everyone! 😀

    • SD Guru says:

      “Maybe SunshineSD is another Beck persona? He writes in a similar style.”
      “What words you choose to say about another says more about you than it does about them”

      You’re onto something on both points. Bravo!! 😛

  229. gentle(man)soul says:


    ” she is free to sleep with whoever/whatever she wishes after the baby is born”

    Niiice ! I would like to apply for the position as Cabana boy at your Communal Estate to take care of all the 20 somethings in your absentia . Sweet !

  230. Zack says:

    SunS, I fear some variation on the dramatic theme would occur with most (especially younger) SB’s.

    Yes, you clearly screen for “Family first” as a priority for your pots. People, particularly when young or in novel (to them) circumstance, act for multiple reasons. Over time, SB’s will act on other drives…drugs, money, travel, career, emotional dominance…something; some of the other personality traits that fill a person’s universe will, over time, strike a balance that places the children in your net and them comfortably helicoptering in…not you 😛

    You might be too good to last against that much moral hazard pressure. Any past success with ltr sb’s? Marriage is the typical solution, but it’s not quite right here…but there is going to have to be an emotional “”click” maintained with each and every SB!! Wow.

    I do hope you don’t become a flame target over this fetish: 😀
    “Making a baby and pair bonding that will eventually lead to making a baby together as its goal, that turns me on.”

  231. SunShineSD says:


    Her Pussy Power is giving her a second chance at having a trust fund! She missed being born with a trust fund, but she is given a chance to give birth to a trust fund for herself! That’s Pussy Power!

  232. Josh says:

    Rhetorical question directed to SDs (SBs may chime in if they want. Sugary should ignore the question unless she is willing to write something coherent AND without name-calling):

    What would be the importance of the Pussy Power if men sought women for childbearing and childrearing only, and women could not use their vagina as a kind of currency with men? That is, only to have intercourse when they need to get them pregnant.

  233. SunShineSD says:


    The ex-SB/ex-GF got pregnant when she was at a post-new years party far away where drugs were served. It probably would not have happened if not for the drugs. Once pregnant, all the hormones took over and all the characteristics that I screened for (like devotion to babies) worked in reverse against me because the baby was not mine; I also made the mistake of tolerating it (figuring that if in the small chance that the baby were mine, it’s a blessing; otherwise, it would be their problem) thereby giving her no incentive to terminate and get back on track.

    I have the safety net in place if the woman decides not to raise the child. OTOH, I trust most probably would stick around and raise the baby: both maternal instinct and the financial reward will keep the woman from walking away from the baby if she is not rich; if she does make good use of my support to build a good career for herself, she has even less reason to abandon the baby.

    Keep in mind the key point: she will not be a member of any harem, but only a mutual support child raising group and in separate households if she wishes; she is free to sleep with whoever/whatever she wishes after the baby is born (I trust she won’t be endangering the child; the ex-GF/ex-SB miraculous gave up all recreational drugs cold turkey after pregnancy). Yes, the women will be free to move on, in their romantic life, so all the less reason to abandon the babies.

  234. Sugardoll says:

    hahah noway i cant hardly understand when he rights, if you read my post their all simple and plain words…BTW i just learned what “Screen” means lol

  235. Zack says:

    @SugarDoll…your best shot is through Darkhorse, I think….I suspect there is a bit of a language barrier between you two, though.

    @SunS…Your perspective, stated thus, has given me one of the few remaining pieces for my own divorce…how to relate and move on. I needed a role to “feel” for my wife other than antagonist…the same fact pattern, but with a slightly different perspective because of a purpose I feel.

    Useful. Thanks.

    After the antagonism passes, it could work.

  236. Sugardoll says:

    @zack yeah, his about to expand his screening on ages…i could be one on the pol….lmao…!!! he should try screening onto some newbies prof….LOL.. im dying!!! lol

  237. Zack says:

    Actually, I just read his last post.

    Much more challenging than drama, and interesting.

  238. Sugardoll says:

    @zack…. shit… true men!!! lol

  239. Zack says:

    @Suns: I understand. I am seriously concerned that the emotional difficulty of maintaining one SB is such that even a retired wealthy gentleman could not maintain so many in a community without them simply (most likely) leaving you with the children and moving on.

    If it does work, perhaps one SB could undertake to write the book?

    @Sugardoll…you’re missing that he is selecting for younger eggs. But he has neighbors, so there may be other SDad-da’s out there.

  240. SunShineSD says:


    Exactly the opposite of Ghegis Kahn and that fertility doctor: one of them committed rape and pillage, the other committed fraud and rape.

    What I want to do is offering a select set of women better choices in life that they can willingly accept at their own volition.

    Am I being a little self-important? perhaps, but I feel that if peaceful men like me do not stand up for our own genetic future, the future generations will be over-represented by rapists, fraudsters and con artists like Ghengis Khan and that fertility doctor. In many ways, the human race already is, both due to historical circumstances and adverse selection by some section of the fairer half (you know, the proverbial pretty girls prefer assholes, and nice guys finish last). In my defense, I welcome all other peaceful men with means do the same for women and future children, so I will only be one of many making that effort. Spreading one’s wealth like that voluntarily will also drastically reduce wealth disparity in the next generation and produce more children raised in middle class and upper middle class, instead of drastic polarization between the frivolously rich childhood for an elitist few vs childhood spent in destitution for the rest, both of which are destructive to the children’s upbringing and character.

  241. Sugardoll says:


    Yes it would be a less waste of time, if you screen better and raise the age of ur screening,

    BTW…Im looking to have a baby or maybe 2 ( would u expand your list?? ) ROFCLOL (rolling out floor crying laughing out loud) -pd @josh

  242. SunShineSD says:


    Thank you for relating your first-hand experience. Yes, I am thinking of mid-20’s. So dating starting a year or two before that. I started the ex-SB/ex-GF when she was 24 (almost 25). I was buying house when she turned 26 and getting ready for her to move in there and attend the next degree program. I was waiting for her to quit smoking so we can make baby together for real. We were just shopping for patches for her one month before accidental pregnancy with someone else took place. So if that had not happened, she would likely be giving birth to my child when 27 or 28yo.

  243. SunShineSD says:


    IMHO, the key is not trying to run a harem, but just be there (financially and staff support when required) for the women in their different households. My ex-wife is practically on such a program, taking care of my child and taking care of another child adopted from a relative of mine, both supported by me financially and me functioning as the father figure for both. I’m not jealous at all when she goes on dates with other men, nor was she jealous when she saw my ex-GF/ex-SB. In fact, she was willing to lend her support raising/adopt the child if the newborn had been my child and just in case the younger woman couldn’t raise it because she was still in school and had almost full-time job.

  244. SunShineSD says:


    Thank you for lending your sympathetic/supportive voice to my cause. Really appreciate that among a see of surprised people, especially coming from a woman’s perspective.

    I will actually provide more than just financial support. There is already a infant-/toddler- care safety net in place. I will be the father figure to my children in terms of education and character building; that can be arranged during visitation time as well as my participation and guidance of group activities among the kids, just like a conventional family with many kids or frequent extended family get together. I already do a lot of that for my kids and their cousins and neighbors/play-mates. Either myself or my staff will take care of household maintenance work that’s usually reserved for the man of the house (except for sex, which the woman would likely have to find on her own, but her cards get that much stronger with my financial support especially if she can parley that into career success as well).

    You are correct, I need to screen more carefully, so less time wasted. If for whatever reason, a new mother changes her mind and would like to take time out partying because she is still too young to commit her life to the child, I already have a safety net in place to take over the raising of the child entirely. My ex-wife already adopted the child of a relative of mine, with my financial support, and it’s going well.

    I will look more into age vs. suitability (for both eggs and child-bearing). Perhaps I should raise the age limit. I just didn’t want to endanger anyone’s life unnecessarily or run the risk of Downs or other congenital diseases for the baby. For me, in terms of my own sexual desire, partner’s age is not a huge issue in itself, but I just get bored in a few months if it is just pure recreational sex with no purpose. Making a baby and pair bonding that will eventually lead to making a baby together as its goal, that turns me on. I guess it has something to do with fundamental emotional acceptance of each other.

  245. Sugardoll says:

    But the next SD will appreciate it .

    Yes, definitely u can avoid ur SB getting prego of another dude, and covering her pregnancy and expenses, if they have gone find out this info before…lol

  246. Josh says:

    @sweetie says:

    “You are so immature. And on a power trip.”

    And you are so cute and submissive, AND hopefully on some kind of lavish trip with you SD. 😉

    By the way, how old are you, sweetie?

    See, the best filrt value of your name is the you can never tell me not to “sweetie” you. 😉

  247. Josh says:


    Thanks ma man. See, I never expected this kind of well articulated birth control info to come from any SB.

    Yes SunShineSD is either f***king out of his mind or playing with us. 😉

  248. Sugardoll says:

    Sugary – Why do u concern so much about what josh post… arent u talking bout those perves profiles u get, just put josh post on the blackmail..and ignore them, read and let go..! he is just trying to bother you cuz as i can see u easily feel agravated for any stupid thing he says…(no offends for josh, i actually enjoy and lol at everything he writes)…believe me when i want to bother someone, the more they get mad the more fun its for me…but some other people cant take it, just read and make fun of his words in a good way though…

  249. gentle(man)soul says:


    Okay, a dozen is the upper limit. That’s the limit imposed by likely available resources. There is also the time constraint. If less children are produced in total, then more resources for each.

    Whaaaat ???? I feel like I have just stepped in the Twilight Zone . Are you fking out of your mind ?


    Birth control I do know about . Cash options (not considering insurance coverage ) run like this:

    Doctor visit to prescribe whatever —$160 .00
    Oral contraceptives -generic ———$ 9.00 up /month
    brand $ 45.00 up ”
    Patch $ $50 +
    Nuvaring $70
    DepoProvera Shot $60/3 months
    Nexplanon Implant (3 years) $ 600 +
    IUD (3-10 yrs) $ 800 -1000

    Your best bet price wise is a generic Walmart selection OC which is $9/month . Your most secure since reliability is less a factor is the DPA shot . She just has to make it back to the office for a shot /3 months . An IUD is the all time most secure since it works for years –but for the money long after your connection with the SB is over . But the next SD will appreciate it .

  250. SugarySpicey says:

    Name ONE damn time I have ever denigrated an SB? Name one time I’ve ever been anything but pro-SB and defensive of these girls. You are inventing shit! It’s as if every post you’ve ever read that you don’t like gets attached to me.

    Name one time I’ve “pissed on the blog”.

    You’re delusional and obsessed, and you ARE frightening. I’ve told you repeatedly how frightening I find your behavior and yet you persist.

    Enjoy your crazy, do whatever you want to whomever you want. I’m done. This little outlet of people I can share my secret sugar world with isn’t worth trudging through your mania.

  251. Josh says:


    Sweetheart take a deep breath again.

    Breathe innn…breathe out…breathe innn. Breath e out…Ommmmmmmmmm

    I have NO interest whatsoever in your private life. May God bless you and your children in your real life.

    Re-read the post above. It is pretty decent and valuable. So post what is potentially valuable to the readers WITHOUT drama. Ok…maybe just a tad. 😉

    Once again say….Ommmmmmmmmmmm


  252. sweetie says:

    You are so immature. And on a power trip.

  253. SugarySpicey says:

    Josh – clearly you are the one with reading comprehension problems. Just yesterday I corrected an SB who mislabeled an allowance giving SD as a fake. I have always said that no SB should ever have sex with anyone they aren’t genuinely interested in having sex with.

    I have also been the one attacked for defending SBs when OTHERS have called them prostitutes, I do NOT believe this is prostitution. Prostitution is the direct exchange of sex for money. If a woman is not exchanging sex for money she is not a prostitute.

    I do think women need to be careful because men will lie to them,snip ukase them, and then try to abuse them in various ways, as you’ve just proven.

    If you continue to hang around the blog eventually you’ll see the troll pop up who calls us all whores and Porta potties – I think there was one just last month. THOSE are the people I’m talking about who judge. I’ve been the least negative about girls who use sugar to help themselves out of a hard time. I’ve read dozens of profiles and helped people out. You are inventing things and saying they belong to me, and now you’re threatening me again!

    Guru is it possible to completely delete my existence from the blog? I don’t understand why, but Josh continues to threaten me and is now exposing things he’s finding by searching into my private life and clearly has no intention of stopping.

  254. Josh says:


    Sweetheart if you want to carry on with your idiotic posts then you are mightly protected by the full force of the Constitution of the United States. So carry on and exercise your rights with impunity.

    Punctuated by ROTFLMAO. Why? Heck, I don’t know. I guess ROTFLMAO is protected under the same Constitution as well. 😉

  255. Josh says:


    “That said, Josh’s intent was to scare me into silence, and he wins. As I said before, I’m afraid of him. I’m out until he’s gone.”

    Sweetheart, my intent is to bring the decent, concerned person behind the idiotic persona you have created through your posts here.

    So show us your intellectual talents you most likely have in the real life for the betterment of the SB’s experience here at SA.

    STOP advising them through this idiotic persona, which will definitely fail them because your persona–based on your own admission–attracts perverts and not the regular SDs.

    I am concerned if you even read what you write…

    Comprende usted? Hablas Espanol? 😉

  256. sweetie says:

    Josh, nobody cares but you. And that makes you look rather crazy. You have a beef with somebody who participates on this blog because she has different opinions than you. Playing Sherlock Holmes for no reason.

  257. KatPaw says:

    @SunShine- ok I’m sure you will eventually have no issues getting a few woman to agree to such an arrangement.. But truthfully having been a young mommy (19) and then later on (26&28) a mommy again.. I have to say at 19 I was not emotionally ready to have a child. I was still a baby. I made mistakes and I have my guilts over that and I wouldn’t change it for the world.. But I was much better prepared at 26&28 to be a good mother. I had grown up and stopped having the mindset of a selfish child.

  258. Josh says:

    @sweetie says:

    “Josh – Your interest in Sugary’s life is a bit too much, don’t you think? Do you have a crush on her, and don’t know how to deal with rejection? Nobody else on the blog has been snooping around trying to find out all kinds of details. What’s with the obsession?”

    Take it easy sweetheart. 😉

    You will see how quickly I will lose my “obsession” with Sugary as soon as she starts writing as a regular person, that she is in real life, compared to this idiotic persona she brings to this blog.

    Xoxo darling. 🙂

  259. Josh says:


    “my being open that different (and occasionally unpleasant) people exist will get SA shutdown.”

    Here is another example of reading comprehension challenge. You continue to search and find meanings in what people write– in good faith–while by your own admission use SA as some kind of game. You also use this blog as your emotional toilet to “vent” as if we deserve nothing better.

    Prove it that I ever said that such exposure will shut dow SA.

    However, if you have the ability to comprehend what others write then you will know that my concerns are diametrically opposite to what you just misrepresented.

    My concerns have to do with linking the sugar space with prostitution and the blatent abuse of SBs by perverted SDs who do exist on SA.

    STOP using this blog as your emotional toilet to vomit, piss and crap on. Both SDs and SBs post here in good faith to get better value out of their investment of time, money and expectations in SA. They deserve a better quality discourse, and NOT a discourse that seems to end in toilet because you proactively intend to make it such.

    As soon as I find some time I am going to dissect your nonsensical postings in this and other threads for the others to see and decide for themselves.


  260. sweetie says:

    Sunshine – disturbing reading your posts. What are you, Genghis Khan? It’s like watching some LifeTime movie… You know, like that fertility doctor who intentionally impregnated his patients with his own sperm and had dozens of kids everywhere…

    Do you men think women just want to have your babies?

    Josh – Your interest in Sugary’s life is a bit too much, don’t you think? Do you have a crush on her, and don’t know how to deal with rejection? Nobody else on the blog has been snooping around trying to find out all kinds of details. What’s with the obsession?

  261. SugarySpicey says:

    Oh you’re totally right Guru, I find them entertaining. So I definitely attract it more than your average SB. I also had a pretty provocative profile and a red bikini photo that was like shooting fish in a barrel my first go round, which probably increased the odds, and I had unintentionally used terms that Subbys search for, apparently “intelligent confident woman” is code for “I’ll walk on you with my stilettos and call you a bitch” guess they’re right though, since I will. 😉

  262. SugarySpicey says:

    That said, Josh’s intent was to scare me into silence, and he wins. As I said before, I’m afraid of him. I’m out until he’s gone.

    Y’all can email me at my throwaway gmail account if you want to chat/need advice/want to challenge me on anything I’ve ever said : Utah Spicey

  263. SugarySpicey says:

    Josh feels that for some reason, my being open that different (and occasionally unpleasant) people exist will get SA shutdown. So he makes up lies about me, invades my privacy, and tries to intimidate me into silence.

    Ladies, you’ve now seen what he does, don’t ever trust him or let your guard down for even a second.

    I’m not the first person to say any of the things I’ve said. It’s been debated as nauseam.

    As for “making up stories” when I was a kid. Yes, I have been writing all my life. People write fiction, it’s a valid past time and a respected art form. I said I had been WRITING all my life. Which I’ve always been honest about. You intentionally changed my words to change my meaning.

    As for writing with my sister I said “inappropriate” and that they were crime thrillers. They weren’t erotic, they were gruesome, and I was 11. I also got in a playground fist-fight once, so I’m clearly prone to violence.

    Funny that Josh insists on calling me a liar and bullying me, but when I asked for a specific example of something he thought I’d said that was untrue he went radio silent.

    I will defend the validity of every single story I’ve shared on SA, and many if you have seen photos, etc. I’ve also been very clear that everybody’s experience is unique and that SBs need to watch out for themselves and do what works for THEM.

    I fail to see how $500 for allowance, or $1,500 for tuition is attainable but a $500 pair of shoes or $1,500 bag must surely be a fabrication – it’s not like I’m saying someone bought me a house! A number of SDs would rather NOT be with impoverished SBs – they don’t want the responsibility.

    There’s an ass for every saddle.

    • SD Guru says:

      “Nobody acts like a pervert (well, except Papi) in their initial SA exchanges. Maybe I’m just lucky and bring it out in them.”

      I don’t doubt all those pervy guys you described are out there. The question is, how did these guys with a variety of fetishes spread around the world all end up contacting you? I don’t think an average newbie SB’s profile would attract that kind of attention, no?

  264. Sugardoll says:

    This is the one i think its more effective, based on this is the one ive heard most of my friends use.

  265. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi –

    Nobody ever said they were “traumatized” by the messages they got. And, typically the perves don’t come out until message two or three, or once you’ve gone off SA. You know there are Pervey men out there, you really think SA is some sacrosanct spot free of weirdos?

    Search Papi in Mexico who has a stepdaughter fetish and wants to pretend to molest his SBs.

    Search Pierre in Quebec who wants SBs to pee on him (hell search “Queen” and “Sissy” and you’ll find all sorts of fun)

    Search Anal sex New Jersey, can’t remember his profile name, but he recently changed his profile to include his preferences. You’ll meet get an endless barrage of Dick Pics if you agree to move to email.

    Look in Tennessee for the guy in front of his house surrounded by sports cars. When you tell him you’re not interested he’ll get really nasty, really fast.

    Search for Atilla in a Turkey and you’ll find the king of the catfish. Curious if he’ll tell you he owns a hotel, is in the maffia, or works in finance. Either way, he’ll soon be talking about taking you on his private plane … then Google his phone number to learn the truth.

    Search for Mr. G in Montreal who once you move to email will send you naked photos (with faces) of SBs he’s collected over the years.

    Search Tomas in Northern California who will email you pics of himself engaged in all sorts of sex acts with his SBs.

    Search Daddy in Idaho Falls who will share in depth fantasies of being a cuckhold to a black man (the black part is important)

    Search “sweater meat” and you’ll find a real gem.

    Search for plastic surgeons in Florida, there’s one with bleach-blonde tips who will pretend to be normal, move to text, then start barraging you for pictures of your kitten.

    Nobody acts like a pervert (well, except Papi) in their initial SA exchanges. Maybe I’m just lucky and bring it out in them. I’m certainly NOT the first, or only, woman who has shared the fact that guys get weird on SA. Treasured used to share all sorts of gems, profiles, and messages. Jersey posted about the man who wanted her to use him like a toilet.

  266. Sugardoll says:

    and all the GFs and SBs I have had so far managed their own birth control schedule and finances.

    -Indeed, i guess all women should be able to do that -if they know what they want and when they want it and what goals they willing to reach for their future.-

    Now what the best birth control products/approachs out there along with their cost structures.

    -Good question, i would like to know too, i have never use or buy birth control of any kind.- And after i reached my 30’s not scared at all of getting prego,

    Money is ALWAYS an object and I want to get effectiveness/ price/value data on it.

    -LOL – JOSH – women always needs money!! no matter if they have enough to managed their own life…once a bf (regutar dating who likes to spoil girls ) asked me babe do u need some money? i answered , u never ask a woman if she needs money, we alwasy need money lol…bout effectiveness /price im willing to know too. I have heard of some good products, but i actually have my doubts from all of them, cuz most of them cause secondaries effects on women.

  267. Josh says:


    Where are you based and what is ur age sweetheart?

    I am curious because I have seen/met more Russian Sashas than any other Sashas.

  268. Josh says:

    Another question for SDs and SBs ( who actually know more than just getting it because someone paid for it)

    I have almost zero experience with the economics of birth control. The reason is that my ex was never on it, and all the GFs and SBs I have had so far managed their own birth control schedule and finances.

    Here comes along an SB who is not on birth control and if I brought the topic up then you know who is paying for it. 😉

    Now what the best birth control products/approachs out there along with their cost structures.

    I dont want to get the female perspective of “if you like her enough money is should not be an object.” Such talk almost always comes from women because they are usually not bringing money to the table to BS men into getting into their white knight outfits.

    Money is ALWAYS an object and I want to get effectiveness/ price/value data on it.

    If you know of good links then just post them. You dont need to summarize them, err maybe a little. 😉


  269. Zack says:


  270. Sugardoll says:

    Ok… my time now….

    U guys might say im as crazy as @sunshineSD but at some point his not thinking that bad by my point of view, having kids like u gna have an UNICEF ORG is not bad if you have he intention to financially raise ur kids, about the paternity figure thats relative (I was raised just for my mom, a woman w balls and i never had the need of a paternity figure around me) yes, i know my father and i used to see him sometimes in a while and i still love him, but ive seen girls (with 23 yrs and less) and couples having more than 5 kids, that they cant raise cuz of their poberty and giving the kids away to better families cuz they cant support them (it seems the so busy fking they forgot what condoms are, and so stupid to read about not having intercourse on their fertility days) Other guys go from woman to woman living them prego, and u never see them again in their lives, So, i would definitely prefer to have a baby of a man who can give a good financial future to his kids even when he sees them once in a while, just to let them know they have a very busy daddy working for his better future lol…

    About the girls in the ages of 18-23,i might say,if u willing to have kids with KIDS without a father figure around make sure this girls are mature and ready enough to have kids, its very disappointing to see girls (that i know a lot like that) having kids young and sending them to their moms because they just want to enjoy life clubbing and fking around, i think a woman knows when she is ready to have kids and enough responsibility to deal w it. kids needs someone who shows them a good way to a good future…

    The preference of the young eggs, as long as a woman is healthy and have all their internal organs in good shape, and with the advance technology, the age is not longer a problem to get prego, im 37 yrs old w no kids, and by my doctors im perfectly fine and fertile and still have some years ahead fo having babies, and sometimes is not even the woman the problem for the babies, as a man get older also his testosterone goes slow, or their semen gets weak and cannot reach to the point strong enough to get a woman prego (yes, i know what im talking about lol)… so, the point would not be just how many kids u want u have to think although of how those kids will be raised by a good mom, unless u dont care having some crackheads around you,spending ur $ on drugs,,while ur working to support them. i maybe miss some other points…ill be back.

  271. Zack says:

    There does seem an ample supply of single mothers and those apparently destined to be. That’s not a good thing IRL… I agree.

    Group/contract marriage possibilities? Do those exist legally anywhere in the world? idk

  272. Zack says:

    @DH some of the arrangements are nice.


    @SunS…most impressive, and sounds overly ambitious. I understand your reasoning, cost considerations, thoughts about infrastructure and the systems necessary to raise a family. You’re trying to build your own community, and are unusually well funded.

    But trying to line up one or two for a sugar family is like herding cats; six would be unmanageable for …well, you… among others. Just the one and you got sucked in and lined up for a long term cash and emotional sink. You mentioned it’s not (just) about the money/numbers…brother, you have that right. You seem experienced…how is it that your plans survived more than a few pot-SB’s? Have you had some success so far with sugaring a different mother/friend?

    I consider myself lucky when I meet a pot-SB who can Honestly consider such matters in the sub-25 bracket. I don’t think their minds actually hold such long term direction well…and relying on their honesty or trust leads to alot of disappointment. How much can you bear?

  273. DarkHorseSD says:

    There is one of those Edible places near me. I’ve never been in it, but, naturally, I feel completely qualified to comment anyway.

  274. SunShineSD says:


    The 67yr old granpa may be able to respond to a 20yo nubile girl, but what do you think his sexual response is to a 47yo mother of his child? besides genuine friendship and companionship? It’s a different kind of love, not sexual lust. So what’s the point of enforcing “the sanctity of the harem”? Why pay for the enforcers when you can fly in new younglings later when needed? What’s the point of keeping a harem at all? I’d encourage the woman to have her independent life with my financial support after giving birth to a child of mine, unless she wants a 2nd child of mine. After she has done her job and earned her long term subsidy, she deserves to have an opportunity to make the best of her own life and that of her child(ren).

  275. SunShineSD says:


    I do want to be the father figure to the children, just like I’m the father figure to my child now living at the mother’s house. The dozen goal is the upper limit. We can take small steps first: one at a time, the task doesn’t look nearly as daunting.

    On top of that, I already have a backup plan: if any SB is not capable of or not willing to raise a child born to me, my ex-wife actually would be happy to raise and/or adopt the child, as she already has the infrastructure for raising children, including older children helping baby sitting.

    My ex-SB/ex-GF and I were having unprotected intercourse for nearly a year and she was not on the pill. If I had impregnated her, she would have carried the baby to term. I refrained from doing that because she was still in school and she was still smoking. That’s what made her sudden pregnancy from a one-night-stand at a chemically enhanced after-new years party in January last year far away from me so frustrating and so painful for me, and probably for her too but she now has to carry on with the business of raising the baby, her baby.

  276. Josh says:


    “Do you really think a harem would be suitable or even really enjoyable for a man in his 60′s and 70′s?”

    You are kidding me, right?

    As long as hands, tongue and penis are functional at any level, a man can enjoy them beauties in the harem. They may fool around behind my back but who cares. If they are found they can be expelled from the harem to keep the sanctity of the harem going, yes? 😉

    By the way, this 67 year-old granpa who flies young SBs to New Mexico. According to him he has sponsored many of them and they keep coming back. One of them even moved in his city.

    How much do I believe his stories? I believe him more than I believe Sugary.

  277. SunShineSD says:


    When the full set is complete, I will be 60. Do you really think a harem would be suitable or even really enjoyable for a man in his 60’s and 70’s?

  278. SunShineSD says:

    Only buildings and land at this point. Privately tolled bridges are coming but may not be widespread before my retirement, so it will likely be an investment vehicle for my kids to worry about. I don’t live in Brooklyn 😉

  279. Josh says:

    SunShineSD just curious…do you buy bridges? ;):

    • SD Guru says:


      I think you’re a Mormon, not a liberal. Are you in Utah by any chance? 😛

      You want to father up to a dozen children with a dozen SB’s, providing financial support to them, but not necessarily be a father figure. Despite how sensible you make this sound, have you talked to your psychiatrist/lawyer/accountant about this? 😯

      When I asked you what you could have done differently, one possible answer could be “I should not be looking for SB’s to bear my children”. But then again, how you spend your time and money, and who you spend it with, is none of my business. So carry on! :mrgreen:

  280. SunShineSD says:


    If 6 vaginas in 20 years were the goal, there are much less expensive ways to achieve that. By now you probably know that it’s not hard to get 6 vaginas in 1yr or even in 1mo! if you are into that kind of thing. Like I said, I’m not into notching my dick.

    The point of vested interest and shared interest (the baby) is making sure that the money doesn’t get blown on drugs and she ends up back to her square one giving birth to and raising her baby in poverty, with someone else.

  281. Josh says:


    “The kids will keep me happily occupied when the full set is complete.”

    This is where SBs should say in a chorus…Awww. So sweet. 😉

  282. Josh says:


    “How many single-mom SB’s can stay attractive for 18-23 years after giving birth? What are the statistically realistic alternatives out there? We are not living in the 1950′s Americana any more. What’s wrong with giving much better economic opportunity to a child-bearing age woman who otherwise would be giving birth in poverty?

    On top of that, I can organize teaching staff and other scalable ways of raising children by pooling the resources of several families.”

    Some would say you are nuts…the others would say you got some balls man. The interesting thing is that both are still talking about your testicles. 😉

  283. SunShineSD says:


    I honestly do not wish to run a harem. I hope each of the women can gain independence based on the solid economic foundation that I provide for each. The kids will keep me happily occupied when the full set is complete.

  284. FatBastardSD says:

    To SB’s everywhere:

    There are a few SD’s posting fucked up shit on the blog and Josh is not one of them. Buyer beware!

  285. Josh says:

    SunShineSD says:

    You dirty dog. 😉

    Just say that you prefer 6 children, along with 6 vaginas to play with, instead of one vagina and 6 children. And since these 6 vaginas have vested interest in keeping you happy, you want to keep your harem going…Not a bad idea indeed.

  286. FatBastardSD says:


    My ex SB’s messages were quite tame as well. Not quite as traumatic as PriceySpicey or gtt_envy would have one believe.

  287. Josh says:

    @gtt_envy says:

    “@Josh, I don’t think so man, most profiles do need some help and few exude the confidence needed to land a great SD….I AGREE!! Guys asking for nudes, cam work, and offering measly dollar exchanges for sex are super common. One SB said “I feel everyone is a pervy salesman looking for the best deal they can get!”

    Please allow me to understand. Are you saying that what I am seeing with my own two eyes, along with prescription glasses, is incorrect and what these other people are saying is correct?

  288. SunShineSD says:


    I’m a Classical Liberal (closest to libertarian in today’s parlance). However, I prefer to let the mothers decide the religious and political affiliations of the children. That’s one advantage of having having a half dozen mothers in serial monogamies with me, instead of finding a single woman willing to bear half a dozen kids for me: memic and genetic diversity. Aka: not putting all eggs in basket.

  289. Josh says:


    “Josh – Fuck you! You are a hideous person.”

    Calm down sweetheart! Take deep breath. Let it out.

    Breathe innnn…Breath out…Breathe innnn…Breath out…Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm

    As many have advised you before, write useful stuff on the blog and you will get useful responses. If you write trashy stuff, the response will be trashy as well.

    As they say in the IT world. Garbage in…garbage out.

    Or quoting sage Forest Gump again: Trashy is what trashy does.

    Some in the feminist world merely throw some shit against men on the proverbial fan and consider the mess and the foul smell as their creative work. It ain’t. It’s just some stirred up S H I T. That’s all !!!

    Once again…Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 😉

  290. SunShineSD says:


    Nearly 50% of children are already born out of wedlock; over 50% of all marriages fail. So we are already looking at the majority of children not living in two-biological parent families. Child visitation by non-custodial biological parent (usually the father) is one day a week on average. That makes it 1/7 a father in the child’s life. I do intend to devote full time to the children after the last few children are born. Before that, there will be less children to divide my time. The mothers are also free to bring other male or female partners into their households after giving births to my children without jeopardizing support from me.

  291. SunShineSD says:


    Okay, a dozen is the upper limit. That’s the limit imposed by likely available resources. There is also the time constraint. If less children are produced in total, then more resources for each.


    I’m very attentive and devoted to children. Let’s not forget nearly 50% of children are already born out of wedlock; 50% of marriages fail, and most not amicably. That means a majority of children are already not living in families with both parents. The average child support payment is only something like $350/mo. A consistent and reliable payment 10x, 20x, 30x, 40x that amount would certainly be extremely helpful. SA itself advertises the the advantage of 10x. How many SD’s would make a 18-23 year commitment when it’s not their baby? How many single-mom SB’s can stay attractive for 18-23 years after giving birth? What are the statistically realistic alternatives out there? We are not living in the 1950’s Americana any more. What’s wrong with giving much better economic opportunity to a child-bearing age woman who otherwise would be giving birth in poverty?

    On top of that, I can organize teaching staff and other scalable ways of raising children by pooling the resources of several families.

    After having been married for 10 years previously, seems to me that’s a much more worthwhile cause than wasting resources on frivolous luxuries and competitions against neighbors and relatives driving all of them into bankruptcy so the wife can laugh at all of them. More children would also make me helicopter less around only 1 or 2 children. I don’t want to be bored and waiting to die after 60 either.

  292. gtt_envy says:

    @Josh, I don’t think so man, most profiles do need some help and few exude the confidence needed to land a great SD….I AGREE!! Guys asking for nudes, cam work, and offering measly dollar exchanges for sex are super common. One SB said “I feel everyone is a pervy salesman looking for the best deal they can get!”

    The flip side of that is the ultra long, diligently honed, multi paragraph message that get’s copied and pasted to everyone within distance.

    As SD types we may feel like ATM’s sometimes, but SB’s are made to feel like bonafide prostitutes almost all of the time.

    I too have seen the messages from 2 previous girls I used to see (neither are on the site now) and most messages fall into those two categories.

  293. Josh says:

    SunShineSD: Do you consider yourself a “liberal” person?

  294. Eloquence says:

    After reading for months on the blog now.. I’ve come to the conclusion…I no longer believe in love, trust, that people actually have a concern for others…most (not pointed at anyone in particular, mind you..just generality)…there is the “Hope” for “Hopes sake” but no longer do I aspire to attain a SD. It feels more of a “wade in the water” if you like but don’t miss the “swim at your own risk” sign when the bottom drops out from underneath you and the sharks are swimming without rest for raw meat. Howbeit…all of the advice (truth or exaggeration) would be a bore and many a woman would be eaten were sugary and sweetie not on your blog. While others “Hope” to venture close enough to the water to test its temperature to have someone to treat them to dinner and preciously fall asleep in your prescence. At least he cared enough to present himself for you, you were his present also. It’s all in perspective. Maybe one day ill learn to swim.

  295. flyR says:

    @ sunshine ahhh a little problem in the nest ……… each “family” gets at best 1/4 of a father…….. That’s 75% Babymama status ……

  296. Josh says:

    I now have access to the account of a beautiful girl. More than 40 responses in the first few days.

    Thus far there has been only one sleaze bags who wanted her to dance naked for 10 minutes for $100. Pretty “generous” sleaze bag indeed. Once told nicely yet sternly, even he came back around and wanted to “start over” the conversation.

    So those who are attracting sleaze bags by the dozen are either lying because they don’t want to challenge mama Sugary’s idiotic and sleazy experiences because the sugar world is merely an extension of erotic “games” she has been playing along with her sister. Or those SBs profiles are trashy.

    Note: The childhood erotic story writings is Sugary’s own assertions in an interview.

    As per sage Forest Gump: Trashy is what trashy does.

  297. SunShineSD says:

    @Guru – “knowing what you know now, what would you have done differently?”

    1. Screen more carefully at the beginning, instead of waiting patiently for her to be more mature over time and under my gentle influence. I never asked her to change but assumed she would over time spending time with me instead of with some of her questionable friends. Now she has ditched her chemically enhanced friends on her own after preg and child birth, but it’s too late.

    2. Be more clear about contraceptive use policy instead of assuming she was when with anyone else;

    3. May consider requiring exclusivity after the first 3 months. Open relationship didn’t bother me, but I assumed she would make sure not to get pregnant with someone else or at most wouldn’t keep the baby either before or after birth if accidentally getting pregnant with someone else.

    4. Distance has to be shorter. She was an hour and half drive away. I was already buying a house closer to me for her to live in while attending the next degree program, but didn’t happen quickly enough.

    5. Be nicer to her when she is not pregnant with someone else, but cut her off immediately if she is instead of becoming an enabler that probably hurts her in the long run.

  298. SugarySpicey says:

    Josh – Fuck you! You are a hideous person. You pretend apologies, crack my shell, trick me into vulnerability with your lies, and then do this? Go to hell, you’re an ass, a stalker, and a liar.

    I’d explain your intentional misquote, but you’ll just use it as fodder for more nastiness and invasion. I don’t know what this aggressive agenda is that you have against me, but you are deeply troubled.

    You know you are taking that quote out of context, twisting it into a lie, and manipulating it to your malicious agenda. My original impulse that you are mentally ill and trying to damage me is true.

    Get a life!

  299. SugarySpicey says:

    Sunshine – I really hope you’re joking, as the stream of pain, daddy-angst, and feelings of worthlessness and emotional neglect you’ll leave in the wake of your plan is rather unconscionable.

  300. Josh says:


    “3. I’ve never once been an allowance girl. I’ve been pretty open about that. I’ve received surprise $$ tucked in my bra and other ways of playing the sugar game. But my sugar game is a kink not an allowance program.”

    You have no clue what the “allowance program” SBs have to deal with and you consider yourself fully qualified because you have figured out how men operate, that is…drumroll please “like city busses [sic] with a predetermined route and schedule.”.

    Shame on you to misguide these “allowance” SBs, who are trying to make ends meet by finding decent SDs, with your silly stories, which you have been making up since you were a little kid, as per your audio interview I recently heard.

  301. SunShineSD says:


    I can currently afford to maintain 3-4 mother-child pairs at middle-class to upper-middle class income level before the mothers pull themselves above that with their own effort if they wish. With my projected income growth, I’m hoping for half a dozen to a dozen mother-child pairs before I retire from this endeavor at 60, so I can hope to see the last child graduate college at my 81 before I kick the bucket. Yeah, that’s my bucket list. LOL!

    • SD Guru says:

      Just to make sure I understand correctly. You’re looking for SB’s to bear your children, and you’re hoping for up to a dozen of them before you kick the bucket. I’m speechless and I don’t say that very often! :mrgreen:

  302. SunShineSD says:


    1. Many advertising 30+ may actually be 35+ or even 40+

    2. Pure hubris on my part. At my own age and achievement, I can get plenty 28+ in normal dating, so no need for sugaring. The lower 20’s happy go lucky type not yet caring much about what I have to offer and not yet have the clock ticking are the ones that are much more of a challenge. I know, I need to kick that bad habit of chasing and hunting.

    3. If all goes well, I do intend to have babies and supporting them and the mothers. So young eggs are preferable. Also the safety and suitability of the potential mothers when it is time to have babies.

    • SD Guru says:

      “If all goes well, I do intend to have babies and supporting them and the mothers.”

      That’s very noble of you and you must be loaded. Is that what you’re looking for in the sugar world? How many do you plan to support as a SD?? I think that explains the preggo SB story. I’ll ask the same question I asked Onyx, knowing what you know now, what would you have done differently?

  303. Sugardoll says:

    What exactly doesn’t do it for you with 30+ yo? Are we talking physically not appealing, as in you like young flesh? When did 30+ become old?

    Yeah, 30 and over is the best age ever…lol 😛

  304. Sugardoll says:

    Delete msgs from where? from the blog…. FA…lol… how? i will need to delete some…lol

  305. sweetie says:

    Sunshine – ” I’m 40yr old, and for some reason 30+ year olds who appreciate me for what I offer don’t interest me sexually.”

    What exactly doesn’t do it for you with 30+ yo? Are we talking physically not appealing, as in you like young flesh? When did 30+ become old?

  306. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’ve run across an old nemesis in some recent communications:

    The Deleter

    Who is The Deleter? The Deleter is the one who deletes the prior messages when they send the next…or just starts a new blank topic with their message.

    Somehow there just always seems to be something up with The Deleter. Can’t trust them. Always leads to no good.

    Anyone else notice this?

  307. SunShineSD says:


    Thank you for your thoughtful advice. I had my account for 3 years, but deleted it when heart-broken at the preggo start almost exactly a year ago. When clicking back to the website out of habit but having no account to log into, I discovered the blog. While dealing with the preggo situation and initial paternity uncertainty, I lived vicarious for a year through the blog posts. I only started posting recently, initially only on some technical issues. After Saturday, I realized that it’s time to move on and I need some encouragement. Sugary’s topic happened to give me an opportunity to talk about two kinds of often related men that I’m familiar with: the consciencious man who thinks he is doing the right thing and wants to be appreciated as such by his partner; the overachiever who decorates his dick not by notches but by life sized trophies. . . and segue to my own problem.

  308. flyR says:

    @sugardoll – I don’t disagree at all with your throw the bums out approach. My suggestion was more one of getting a reluctant SD to cut the toxic losses. cleanly. By the time the first month rent has been used and they come back for more he’ll be cured . Hopefully by a real SB who shows him the good side.

    The goal is to terminate the relationship, dumping all the toxic waste into their boat and sending it way away.

  309. Kindred Spirit says:

    GenuineSD!! Yep, it’s really me…been a few years off the blog and SA site. Wonderful to see a few bloggers from back when popping in! *Big Smiles* 😀

    Hiya Sweetie, got your email- will respond soon. We knew SDGuru would pull through! 😉

  310. DarkHorseSD says:

    Forgot to mention that the sick infecting the healthy doesn’t float my boat either.

    Encouraging the broken to soldier on without an exit strategy, bad bad.

  311. DarkHorseSD says:

    Ancient history SB arrived asking for a pot to puke in and fell asleep at 8:45, 7:45 her time. Let’s see what tomorrow will bring.

    Had a WYP date for $100 right after a successful run into Zabar’s. No chemistry for me, which is good considering chances are she just wanted the 100. Almost out of credits there so not much more pain to endure. Josh, I hope you’ve dealt with this fetish.

    I’m mortified to read all these stories and no one authoritative to tell these people how they are being abused, put at risk and bled. Really, is the blog not for putting some common sense to people, and helping the vulnerable who are being victimized?

    The blind leading the blind into the abyss isn’t appealing to me.

  312. SunShineSD says:


    Thanks. My sugarland relations usually evolve beyond NSA after a few weeks. Usually ended when the person graduated or otherwise moved like the ending of a dating relationship. I use(d) SA because I don’t meet many 18-25yr olds in my normal life who are not either my employees or otherwise business associates. I’m 40yr old, and for some reason 30+ year olds who appreciate me for what I offer don’t interest me sexually. So I have to torture myself with much less mature challenges. LOL.

  313. Sugardoll says:

    flyR says:
    February 24, 2014 at 7:02 pm
    The easiest exit may be to give them an apartment with first and last. Deliver the cat and disappear . Supporting them is messing up all 3.

    I dont think he should give them an apartment, he has helped her all the ways possible,while she was messing around w some other dude..they are 2 adults with a head, 2 hands and 2 legs, who could have the brains to think what they were getting into (Yeah, i know i might sound rude, but too much is too much), he could give them a final help, but not to put the gold pot and take complete responsibility of something is not his…definitely not agree w that.

  314. SunShineSD says:

    Thanks, flyR and Sugardoll. I can’t believe how muddled my usually perceptive mind became during this saga over the past year. Probably due to the first-person emotions, and the whole thing pushing several of my hot button issues simultaneously.

    • SD Guru says:


      Thanks for sharing the story of your preggo SB. You’re a classic white knight and here’s what I wrote about the “White Knight Syndrom“. Some SB’s can’t be helped because their life is a disaster and no amount of money can change it. Also, you’ve broken all the “Golden Rules” as a SD, and I hope you’ve learned from it and have had better experiences since.

      Incidentally, this post is pretty much the same comment I wrote when Onyx’s last attempt at getting a live-in help/SB blew up. I see that he’s still at it! :mrgreen:

  315. Josh says:


    Cut the cord and move on. The sugar “relationships” must be nsa. Otherwise, why bother with the sugar space to start off with?

  316. flyR says:


    There may be a good reason for not posting a picture. If it is otherwise interesting you might reply that it is a concern , ask about things that are of interest to you and close with a note that you look forward to seeing a pic
    Next round if you are still interested you give him your throwaway email address
    [email protected] and a gentle suggestion that 1 picture is worth 1k words

  317. Sugardoll says:

    SS.. I have to say that now im understanding better and u are completely right, bout my profile… i think its awesome to be a newbie profile, cant complain, i get msgs everyday! sometimes more than 1 lol..but the latest ones some are looking creepy lo others without pix ( and i have problems trusting profiles with no pictures or a clear profile) so sometimes i dont answer them, and others just dont contact me back after my first response,or text msg…i may be saying or doing something wrong…but i as i keep reading the blog i know i will learn to deal w situations!!!

  318. flyR says:

    The easiest exit may be to give them an apartment with first and last. Deliver the cat and disappear . Supporting them is messing up all 3.

  319. SugarySpicey says:

    Sugardoll – a “fake” SD is a man who poses as an SD with no intention of ever doing more than a BF would do. A fake SD is pretending to be an SD because he has better odds on SA than typical sites, but really is just dating not “spoiling” or taking care of your financial needs/wants.

    Your SD gives you an allowance. It may not be an allowance that you like, but he gives it. That makes him a “Real” SD, just not the right SD for you.

    You can’t change a man. (I should repeat this 190 times a day, every day, for the rest of my life). They are who they are, like city busses with a predetermined route and schedule. But don’t worry, just brush up your profile pics and wait ten minutes – another one will be along shortly with a better route and fresher smell.

  320. Sugardoll says:

    I dont understand very well about the prego girl, ive been reading late post but its a very tough situation,

    “I’m thinking perhaps the best course of action for me is finding a new SB and forget about her before I get suckered into raising her baby; wish them luck and give the cats back to them when they have their own apartment again”

    I think this will be the best solution, or u will end up raising that baby and covering all the happy family expenses.

  321. SunShineSD says:

    “Dangerously close to rewarding bad behavior……. Your escape and your education is your reward- but don’t punish others. Sounds like that amount of assistance could have made a major difference in two or three more appreciative SB’s lives and made you a whole lot happier……”

    Thanks for the clear voice. I probably did reward bad behavior too much earlier, leading to her eventually doing one thing that would upset me and eventually resulting her being cut off. She was a rebel spirit; that’s one of the things that I liked about her, but also her eventual downfall.

  322. Sugardoll says:

    Well i see things this way : When a SD really wants to help you out, sometimes u dont even need to make an arrangement, i think that to really spoil a girl is when u give her more than what she can make by her own anytime he feels comfortable without the need that u ask him, and / or also help me to cover my credit cards, give me money to go shopping before getaways etc. Not requesting you to be there anytime they want, but yet so anytime u available for him and actually most of the time just for sex encounters.
    Others SD. wants to go out, do things together, including sex, and at the end of the night they put $200.00 in my hands… I mean ( this way makes me feel weird) cuz ok its money…but practically that does not help me at all not even to cover any of my bills if i need it too…lol…i dont want to change him, cuz i do enjoy the time i spend w him,…but i dont think spending less than 50 for diner and drinks and then 200 after sex is really spoiling…i think those are fakes SD;s

  323. SunShineSD says:


    “I tend to drag out endings. Is it over now? Or are you the recourse of first resort for her crises?”

    My help seems to be her first and only recourse for major crises. She nearly lost her life due to pregnancy complications; was hospitalized for 3months, losing her job and is still on major medications. When I don’t help her with a major problem nowadays, like getting her car back on the road or getting a new car for her, it doesn’t seem to get resolved at all for months. This is part of what makes it hard for me to cut her off entirely. OTOH, they are living at his parents’ house so basic needs are met. She keeps telling me she is not in love with the mostly gay baby-daddy . . . I don’t know what to make of it or whether it should matter; yet she is also honest enough to tell me that she feels a strong emotional (but not sexual) connection to him due to the baby (cue baby material determinism). That’s why I’m thinking perhaps the best course of action for me is finding a new SB and forget about her before I get suckered into raising her baby; wish them luck and give the cats back to them when they have their own apartment again. I’m usually pretty good with dealing with sunk cost when it comes to investing, but this thing is more than numbers.

  324. flyR says:

    @sugardoll – before you try to change a SD consider the importance of the change. If its’ not a deal breaker you may not want to proceed. Sometimes when you apply a force you get an unexpected reaction, it may not be obvious.

  325. flyR says:

    @ Sugardoll – There’s an old saying that women get involved with men intending to change them to fit their wants, needs, vision etc. Men get involved with women hoping they will not change.

  326. Sugardoll says:

    fly – So what happen if someday i find a SD who makes me feel so good and confident that i dont want to take money – I explain – there is a different between
    1- SD who gives u expensive gifts, and money anytime he wants and feel comfortable doing it, Even when most of the time u just see him to lay down.
    2 -SD who gives u a couple of dollars every time u meet him for dinners, go out, spend time together but instead make me think he sees me as everything less than a SB.

    Is there a way i can turn SD number 2 into SD number 1? PD: both situation married SD;s

  327. sweetie says:

    Zack – “She seems to reduce causes to only the one she speaks of”

    Are you referring to Coontz?

    GenuineSD, hi! How are you?

    Guru, thank you, sir!

  328. flyR says:

    “I’m fairly confident that I have gone further in supporting and helping her than most men would have in sugarland, normal dating or even marriage, given that it was someone else’ baby and how I was treated in return for my generosity.” Dangerously close to rewarding bad behavior……. Your escape and your education is your reward- but don’t punish others.

    Sounds like that amount of assistance could have made a major difference in two or three more appreciative SB’s lives and made you a whole lot happier…….

  329. Zack says:

    She seems to reduce causes to only the one she speaks of,

  330. Zack says:

    @gtt it was the std thing. You did advise a while back that I would travel…you were right. Not my preference, though.

    SunS…I tend to drag out endings. Is it over now? Or are you the recourse of first resort for her crises?

    Flyr…what would you change regarding the focus of the discussion?

    @sweetie…I’ll nibble.. 🙂

  331. sweetie says:

    Here’s Stephanie Coontz on love and marriage, if anyone cares to see.


  332. flyR says:

    Travel – not for first time SB adventures.

  333. flyR says:

    Random thoughts after wading through 8 hours of posts………….

    Way too much static on the line

    Spicey Have you read the War of Art or The Authentic Swing……… ?

    Feminnazi – If the boot fits she’s wearing it……..

    Testing – First line of defense is picking partners whose social contacts and behavior minimize risk.

    Old New England truism – Empty wagons make the most noise………..

  334. SunShineSD says:

    Sugary – Very cute reply to Softi. Just to clarify, I did not have sex with my ex-GF/ex-SB during her pregnancy with someone else’ baby. However I kept supporting her for most of the pregnancy out of both generosity and the possibility that the baby was mine. I joked about so long as there was a possibility a piece of me inside her, I was content with her not taking more of me inside. That meant I also provided free housing to the baby daddy, so he could help her around the house during the pregnancy. Perhaps that was a mistake, but given the apriori knowledge that it probably was not my baby, I did not feel like taking time off from my work in addition to paying for her/their living expenses. When the hormones drove her to say a bunch of really hurtful things to me during Fathers Day dinner, I ordered a prenatal DNA paternity test for her. They moved out after test came back with 90+% certainty that it was not my baby. A couple months later she was hospitalized due to pregnancy complications, and they had to relinquish their apartment, so I took in her cats and gave her some additional help and support during her hospitalization.

    I’m fairly confident that I have gone further in supporting and helping her than most men would have in sugarland, normal dating or even marriage, given that it was someone else’ baby and how I was treated in return for my generosity.

  335. gtt_envy says:

    @zack, I don’t remember giving you any advice on anything, did I? Or are you just stating my OCD regarding STD’s is overkill?

    @Josh, I usually send money for pics if there will be a long time before we can see each other. Remember most guys are just pic collectors anyway. How often do the potential you meet seem utterly disgusted after a month? There is a reason for that.

    The turnover is high because of low p4p meets, supposedly wealthy men not showing a inkling of that before wanting sex, and guys in general being creepy.

    Be different from the norm and the results are very good! She does seem suspect though mainly due to the “I’m sick” last minute cancel!

  336. Zack says:

    Josh…refuse, up the offer, and stick to PfP…you are being gauged.

  337. Zack says:

    Crap. Do I come across as bitchy or feminist? Heheh…well, ok…it can add an element of surprise. 😛

  338. Zack says:

    gtt…give up. :/ You’re responsible. Thank you…really, you help keep us all safer, sometimes. But you’ve hit a point of diminishing returns, I think. NM, if you’re happy, I’m happy….no issues.

    @alex…careful…. In any case, if this one fails…then talk to me, I will be here, later 🙂 The blog gods have never sent me an email, but if you want, we’ll talk 😀 Sex, yes, but way too much drama first…I fear mine shows. But I am real. Not as new as you, but close. Be careful, come back to me happy? 😛 But…if he succeeds…..:D …I’ll be ok, dear. Eh, how long before you are free? Options really help. I’m not a perfect SD yet. :/

    Suary, can I lock you away to write sequels to my favorites? Heh. Probably not. We’d get distracted.

    Is it an oaky time to trot out the idea of contract marriage? Family Parnerships? Eh…too complex for most people, marriage is easier….

    hmm, “LTR desired, Pre-nup a must?” Nah, she’d not do that to you…just ask her….she’d never want a prenup…it’s insulting. Check your state.

    little lies…let’s not go there for the sake for the divorced SD’s? I’m not sure there are such things. Honesty, or…not much of a relationship.

    @FB…heh….make sure you get liquidated damages when she comes again 🙂

  339. Josh says:

    Hmmm, Sugary are u playing SD now? That question was directed to SDs? 😉

  340. SunShineSD says:

    Sugary – Didn’t expect that “Marxist-Femme” title coming my way as I thought Marxism would advocate sharing of all resources, as well as pussies and penii, and therefore being a good resource winner would be of no value whatsoever. However, I do see your point that perhaps my proposal sounded a little too material deterministic . . . To that, I have to resort to paraphrasing one of your usual guidelines for my defense: no woman should have sex with a man that she has no desire of making love with; however, the prospect of being a good provider for her baby making project makes the woman that much more willing / eager to make love with the guy 😉

    (Maternal/Paternal) Parenting arrangement is just like a marriage arrangement, except without the government getting in the way specifying one detail after another . . . instead, it’s more up to what the prospect mother and father make of it.

  341. SugarySpicey says:

    Asking for gifts is gross. I get a bad rep for being a bit spoiled, but I would NEVER ask someone to send me chocolate covered strawberries (cliché) or anything else for that matter.

    Gifts should be given because the giver wants to give them. Offering a pic in exchange is just her trying to play cute and coy so you’ll tell her how much you like her pics

  342. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – you’ll have to promise me you won’t get all fat and hormonal when you’re pregnant, or else I’ll have to come back to the blog to find an SB and complain to all the other SDs about my preggo wife not giving up the predetermined amount of sexual sugar our suburban bliss requires.

    Sunshine – how very Marxist-Femme of you to propose commodifying the maternal/paternal arrangement.

  343. FatBastardSD says:


    I think we should both retire from the blog. Josh can take over my role as the bastard SD and Zack can take over your role as the bitchy SB. We could finally settle down and start that family that we always wanted.

  344. SunShineSD says:


    Hammer the reject button. It’s most likely a scam.

  345. FatBastardSD says:


    Ask her to take a picture doing some really disgusting sex act where her face is clearly visible. This should get her to stop the bad behaviour.

  346. Josh says:


    I have not yet met this gorgeous 24 girl. We were supposed to meet last Thursday but she got “sick.” Yesterday I received text from her that she wanted chocolate dipped strawberries from Edible Arrangements. I tried to get that for her but the store was closed.

    Today she texted me again and wanted the same thing. What is bothering me that she said that if I sent her the box of dipped fruit she will send me one of her pix. She has sent me free pix before. I don’t pay for pix. There are billions of them on the internet. LOL!

    What do you do in these circumstances when they want to get stuff before they have met you and/or the arrangement is in place. Do it or politely refuse it?

  347. FatBastardSD says:


    How about the story of a middle aged IT guy specializing in computer security who meets a cute broke SB on a SA site. His SB goes missing and he uses his IT/computer skills and some detective work to track down what happened to her.

    Another idea could be about a broke cute SB who decides to enter a blackmail business with her XBox playing BF.

    Either of these would be good and relevant to the blog. A lot better than a story about a brilliant SB who is a F500 CEO flying around the world to meet ugly old SD’s .

  348. SunShineSD says:


    Making baby and marriage are two different issues. A real sugar daddy in the top 4% (20% of 20%) can voluntarily offer a far better deal than what a court can impose on an average man in a divorce settlement for the benefit of a mother.

    The 11th school of feminism states that all men are disposable, merely resource providers for the woman and her baby project. Ultimately, even the woman is disposable: a mother would endure and rationalize just about anything, even giving up her own life (all at once or in small pieces), for her babies.

    So what’s the most direct way to ensure a woman’s loyalty if you can afford it? Make sure she has vested interest with you. Most of those whining about being unable to afford a court imposed child/mother-support are merely being exposed for the fakes that they are.

  349. Carrie says:

    @gt_envy Thank you! : )

  350. Sasha says:

    @Zack and @gentle(man)soul Thank you both for all of the advice, I definitely appreciate. It was reassuring for me. Maybe one of you can be my SD. LmAo, jk!

    Thanks again! : )

  351. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – you previously stated that I get annoyed if someone tries to take me to the Motel 6 (true) or if an old man brushes up against me (not true).

    As far as my current work in progress, it’s a cyber thriller of two male characters and no sex at all.

    Books 2 and 3 are finished, but I think they’re crap (including my SB book) so they’ve been banished to indefinite obscurity.

  352. FatBastardSD says:


    I am not sure why you directed the silver fox comment towards me. I have no desire to control who should have access to your vagina. I was trying to convince you to stop posting on the blog or at least to come up with some new material. Your stories sound like 20 year old Paris Hilton wanna be SB fantasies (which might be your target market). Why not write a story about cute 25 year old broke girl who leaves her Xbox obsessed BF to date a middle aged middle manager for an allowance. They could meet at a AppleBee’s for their first date. A much more interesting setting for a story I think.

  353. gentle(man) soul says:

    @ Sugary

    ” a 60 year old man with a 19 year-old is taking advantage, and that makes him a perve.”

    That’s sort of like saying “a little lie is OK ,but —-” Sugar is Sugar as long as the players are of legal age . Maturity frequently is not age related as we all have observed . The male brain doesn’t fully mature emotionally until 26-28 . THe female 24-26 . So —what age is “too young” for sugar in your opinion ? Do you require a a 2 decade rule–1 1/2– To stay within the realm of acceptability ? Part of the excitement for me is to date waaaay below my normal socially acceptable age group . I’m 60ish and rarely see anyone less than 40 years younger . If I did date appropriately I would not have to pay for it .

  354. Zack says:


  355. SugarySpicey says:

    Regarding an SD vs a SD grammar question. Here’s my understanding.

    Typically when an acronym or abbreviation becomes a word (SCUBA) for example, the first letter a is used for consonants and H-words with a hard sound (A hipster and his fixie). An is used for words that start with vowels and H’s with a soft sound (an HIV test).

    However, SD/SB is an initialism not an acronym (a shortening of SugarXXX but not a new word formed by the initials). In which case, usually an is correct (an FAQ is available or an SAT testing date will be published). But, the rule is so obtuse either can be used, so long as within a paragraph or post the same article is used every time.

  356. gtt_envy says:

    @Josh, while true its just in me……I dont know how people have promiscuous escapades without freaking out with what ifs.

    Then again I get blood work every 6 months monitoring to make sure all of my levels are picture perfect. Eat almost flawlwessly and exercise, weights, and HRT therapy to boot.

    Am known as a extremist in most things Im into…..so spending gobs on STD testing fits my m.o usually.

    Ive asked prev SBs to get another test 60 days after being with me if their behavior gets iffy 😉

    Good luck in your discussions play nice!!

  357. Zack says:

    the sound of a word’s first letter determines which to use…is correct, I think. what it misses, is that most abbreviations -start- with a vowel sound…. eeesss…AAAA…so the sound controls, and it is “an SB.” I checked with an old friend a few months ago 😛

    Alex: You’re seriously at risk. Not because of the guy, but because you have taken no safeguards. Fix that. I don’t know your details, but you should ask for all reasonable expenses to reach him upfront via cash, check or moneygram…and variations. Also, either PfP as negotiated b4 or a fraction of weekly allowance before you tell him to start arranging the room or the trip to his place.

    Not my place, and completely a random guess, but if he does not front you $500 at first meet, and $500 after a few days…you are being used.

    Being used by a good guy might be ok. Flyr’s correct—you have no power left and you are going to his place. Get numbers before you go. Something. Maybe better conceptual than specific, given you are not “steering”….but, О, боже мой, get $500 upfront, b/c it will more likely than not go bad. No fault…just most people take some time….so get your ===>need/crisis<==== fixed BEFORE sex, please?

  358. SugarySpicey says:

    For the ignorant feminism hater (aka Bitter J heretofore known as BJ), modern academic feminist ideology has ten schools. It is not ONE defined idea.

    For example:

    Radical cultural feminism believes that we are forced into compulsory heterosexuality by our parents and culture and therefor all heterosexual sex is rape.

    Radical Libertarian Feminism (which most closely applies to me) believes that our natural sexual impulses are stifled and controlled by others and that only in rejecting cultural sexual norms and exploring what WE like personally can you really know your own sexuality and therefor control your own SELF. This school of thought studies the gradiations of prostitution extensively, and is basically pro (with caveats).

    I do NOT believe sugar is prostitution. Nor do I believe prostitution should be legal (in the broadest sense). I’ve written extensively about my feelings on this issue and won’t bore people further with why I view sugar as different from prostitution entirely.

    Post Modern feminism deconstructs the very ideas that there is “heterosexual” or homosexual sex.

    5th Wave (aka Martha Stewart) Feminism, which I also strongly connect with says “Fuck you, I can be girly, pretty, pro-man, have sex, bake cookies, and beat you out for a promotion”.

    In your ignorant painting of feminism with some narrow monochromatic paintbrush you reject the beauty that is the feminine, and force a political label that doesn’t fit. It would be like an Italian saying all Americans are democrats because Obama is.

    So, one can most definitely be a feminist (as in believing that women are people) and also respect the sugar space. One can also be against legalizing prostitution (which I view as equivalent to slavery in many cases) and pro-Sugar, but that discussion requires a more sophisticated dialogue than you’re willing to have with me.

    As for “how can you be a feminist and get an allowance?” I’m calling bullshit.

    1. I reserve the right to define my own sexual and gender experience.
    2. In some ways, controlling access to one’s vagina and only sharing it with the deserving (however one chooses to define that for HER vagina) can be much more empowering then being fooled by love talk that may or may not be real.
    3. I’ve never once been an allowance girl. I’ve been pretty open about that. I’ve received surprise $$ tucked in my bra and other ways of playing the sugar game. But my sugar game is a kink not an allowance program.

    For me, sugar is a sex game. I’ve always said that. Which is why I’ve had such fun luck. I’m not trying to pay the bills or cover my tuition payment. I’m not looking for an allowance.

    And Softi – you have me confused. I have no ageism, I like a silver fox. I am not into men who are height/weight disproportionate, but I’ve never bagged on SDs for being too old for me. I do occasionally think SDs are too old for the SBs they pursue, a 60 year old man with a 19 year-old is taking advantage, and that makes him a perve.

  359. gentle(man) soul says:


    .” I can’t find anything. Idk. Not good ”

    Carrie ,ask him for full ID verification . If he won’t do it don’t go . Sex slavery is alive and well in the USA . You can get injected with Heroin ,addicted , and sold to whomever . Did you see Liam Neeson in” Taken ” ?

    You have to discuss allowance ahead of time . It is totally a crapshoot if you don’t . You could luck out or you could totally be screwed –in more ways than one .

  360. Josh says:


    I don’t know what age group you are in but I am past that stage of having interest in making babies and raising families. 😉

    But you right. Those in that predicament should marry with airtight pre-nuptials instead of marrying for love. Love is for birds, and a hook for those with shorter shelf life, as you suggested recently. 😉

  361. gtt_envy says:

    @Carrie, how do you know his name is accurate? I go to great lengths to preserve my anonymity.

    I never use pics that I have used on the internet, have a fake i.d with wrong last name, address, and use a Amex with just a first name.

    Why? Im in a great LTR, but enjoy variety from time to time. Also thats part if the reason why Im so paranoid about stds lol.

    I dont trust people probably because I know the facade I have built no reason why someone equally adept could do the same.

  362. SunShineSD says:


    I’m afraid you are following the same logically fallacious path that the alleged Feminists laid out for you. The world is not made up of a big war between the genders. Feminists and Feminists can not make babies between them; nor can male chauvinists and male chauvinists. Pair bonding and the baby born of that pair bonding makes for the closest collaborative relationship . . . other members of the same gender are competitors.

  363. Josh says:


    Its simple.

    A Sugar Daddy
    An SD

    A Sugar Baby
    An SB


    You’re going overboard with the tests unless you test them and put them locked in one of your condos for three months and test them again before you touch time.

    If you CAN then more power to you with your test panels.You might as well get married to her. LOL!

    That said no amount of precaution is too much and get the younger models so they “may” have been exposed less, hopefully?

  364. Carrie says:

    That’s the issue, I feel like have no control in the situation. That’s what’s bothering me. I. have tried researching by his name, number, email and photos. I can’t find anything. Idk. Not good

  365. Josh says:


    I don’t know what you mean but sugar space is the diffusion of the wrong pussy power. This is because in this space a man’s entire being and net worth is NOT attached to one pussy.

    We are talking emancipation of gazzilions of dollars of male money my friend. Feminists cannot accept that. 😉

  366. gtt_envy says:

    So…much heat in the kitchen these days!! Who demands or requests a full panel std test besides me? Lol

    Still drives me crazy my current got hers 8 panel and she was all happy and in my head I’m thinking “You missed 2 why didnt you get a 10 panel??”

    No….I dont even want to see her!!

  367. gentle(man) soul says:

    @ all

    I am no English freak but it does bug me to see everyone use “an” before Sugar Daddy . It just doesn’t sound or look right . So I took the liberty of checking it out and here’s what I found .

    ” There is sometimes confusion about whether to use an or a (particularly with abbreviations). The sound of a word’s first letter determines which to use. If the word starts with a vowel sound, you should use ” an”. If it starts with a consonant sound, you should use” a ” .

    “A” sugar daddy/baby is correct as sugar is a consonant and a consonant sound . An Sugar Daddy is incorrect .

    If it starts with “an” S ,then ” an” is correct because the S(ess) is a vowel sound

    Sugary ,as a writer what do you think ? .

  368. SunShineSD says:


    Has it occurred to you that you are the one making sugar space sound like . . . what you accused Sugary of making it sound like?

  369. DarkHorseSD says:

    Anyone need something from Zabar’s?

  370. SunShineSD says:

    “Good for you that you lucked out with one of them non-vengeful model”

    Luck is certainly important, but also trust building over time. I’m voluntarily giving my ex-wife more than double what the court ordered in the divorce settlement. Life is too short to have a vengeful model in one’s life, and since there is a child, cutting her off entirely is never possible, so might as well make the deal sweet for her so she can take good care of the child.

    I even took out the ex-GF/ex-SB this weekend and put her and her baby up in a hotel, that same one who got herself pregnant by someone else, because her mostly gay baby-daddy got a bad case of flu and it wasn’t safe to expose the baby to him when he got back from the ER. No, I did not fuck her. On the contrary, I was pleasantly surprised that I wasn’t even much turned on by her any more in her current condition despite her barely 27 age and expertise with make-up’s on a model material face. That’s how one gets freed from pussy power, I suppose.

    Time to get a new SA account! I had deleted my old account a year ago when news of her pregnancy came and broke my heart. Need to find a new SB before she sheds those extra 20lbs and gets back to her usual 105-110lb weight.

  371. DarkHorseSD says:

    Sasha, has it occurred to you to limit such travel to places where you have such connections, and wait until there are such places?

    Posting a profile doesn’t make someone a multinational globetrotting SB.

  372. flyR says:

    @ Sasha – The potential should understand that he is taking a risk and they it is clearly understood that sex is an option not an obligation.

  373. flyR says:

    @ Sasha “I trust him so far, since he has not given me a reason not too or any red flags. However, I do not feel like I am being cautious enough. By be visiting his city and staying inside of his home… I really do not have much control. ”


    Not sure where you are and with the blizzard of comments I’ll skip trying to sort through the blog.

    His home ? – If you know the address or name in many states you can search the assessors roll to see if he really owns the house. Zillow and google to check out the hood.

    I strongly recommend a hotel for the first night. Make it easy on hm with something modest but national. You meet him AFTER you have checked in.

    You maintain control of your movements until you are satisfied. You have his cell phone and hopefully a non-gmail address.

    ” I have not seen any red flags” Two possibilities – very good potential or very sophisticated predator. One of the first things a social predator wants to achieve is to get you alone.

    At the risk of being repetitious – Before traveling (I really believe every young woman should read) Gift of Fear Gavin deBecker

    Social prominence is not reassuring alone. However, in my book if you can not verify the person on google, factbook, linkedin etc it is a no-go. Also google the phone number and email address.

    Unless you are comfortable paying your own way you should have a round trip refundable (changable) ticket before you leave home. Yes this poses a risk to the SD but if he does not trust you with a ticket you should not trust him with your life or your body.

    Yes, all of this is a lot more complex than when you went home with somebody from the neighborhood bar or party or even had sex on the airplane with your new friend in adjacent seat. The difference – You are headed for his home turf.

    Having said all that, have I suggested that unmet SB’s meet me at my place or on an airport ramp? – yes but we had both previously had sugar relationships and she knew enough of my background to have a pretty good feeling that I was not JTR .

    I would also have a friend whom you will call after you met him. If you are OK with everything you share that with your friend, and if instead you want to return home NOW you share that and ask her to call back in 30 min to verify that you are on the way home.

    If you don’t have a friend then fake one. “I need to excuse myself for a moment, I promised my girlfriend I would call after we met. I just need to tell her you are wonderful.”

  374. SunShineSD says:


    If you felt wronged by someone of the fairer sex, don’t be bitter. Make better of yourself. Success is the sweetest revenge, and you will find a better someone more deserving of your time and attention. So long as you are bitter, you are still under the spell of the pussy power of that same old someone.

  375. gentle(man) soul says:


    ” What makes you think that either of us are left wondering about “every crack and crevice” of each other? ”

    while everyone is in an apology mode I do so for ASS- uming that any guy will press forward to the max with every opportunity . I was projecting my needs on you and anyone else in that situation . Each to his own . There is a zero % chance that I would not have enjoyed all the fruits of your labors were I in your situation . But we are all different .

  376. Sasha says:

    @DarkHorseSD Have you ever flew in SB during the 1st meeting? If so, why didn’t you visit her 1st initially? Why do some SD’s want/prefer for the SB do visit them 1st initially? I am interested in knowing that.

    @Zack I trust him so far, since he has not given me a reason not too or any red flags. However, I do not feel like I am being cautious enough. By be visiting his city and staying inside of his home… I really do not have much control.

    That’s my only issue with you. However, I do not want to be too difficult….as SD’s do not care for that too much. Well no really wants to deal with a person like that.

    Example, how do I ask how much is my allowance. which it’s not all that I am about. Since I am sincerely interested in him, but it would sound like I am. I do not want to be “that girl,” because its more than the money; I do not want a whole bunch of SD’s. I would prefer one. He already stated he wants it to be more than about that. Also, that he will take care of his girl. So I do not want to be too direct, and ruin everything. I am just trying to be easy going and letting the cards play out on there own.

    I know that I have to be cautious and smart.Which I am analytical person, so I am doing really good by not trying to dissect everything. lol. It would be nice if there is another SB(s) that lives or will be visiting the same area.

    P.S. What does a visit with you involve? A whole lot of sex. LoL

  377. onyx_percula says:

    @ Elaine — Actually this is one of her jobs right now, caring for an elderly lady on a part time basis. She has been pretty independent for a few years now according to her mother. She hasn’t had any real/normal restrictions since she was 15-16. So there will be a element of “daddy” that will be needed, its far from what you imply it would be.

    @ gentle(man)soul — What makes you think that either of us are left wondering about “every crack and crevice” of each other? To be more direct, we did not have intercourse, but we proved to each other we are not only able to turn each other on, but satisfy each other… 😉

  378. Josh says:

    @SunShineSD says:

    “My ex-wife jokes about us are like brother-and-sister now: emotionally available to each other when necessary, but seek orgasms elsewhere.”

    Good for you that you lucked out with one of them non-vengeful model. 😉

  379. Zack says:

    Yes, it really is. Sigh.

    @DH–if she pays for the flight, is it ok if I up the sugar? Otherwise, the location is just one perk. 😛 (gotta “do something” to excuse my drama? lOl (TIE fighter))

    Hmm, maybe that’s programming. I should listen more. Carry on josh…?

  380. Josh says:


    Awww. Aren’t you are knight in the shinning armor? 😉

  381. SunShineSD says:


    Were you asking Sugary or me? I have been amicably divorced for 4yrs now after 2yrs of separation. The marriage had lasted 10 years. Unfortunately the lines of work that we were in couldn’t allow open marriage. Both of us are happier now after divorce. My ex-wife jokes about us are like brother-and-sister now: emotionally available to each other when necessary, but seek orgasms elsewhere.

  382. Josh says:


    “Josh…truce then…”

    Good for you. 😉

  383. SunShineSD says:


    I do not think Sugary equate sugar space to prostitution, at least not with p* word being a negative concept (we all whore ourselves for something to somebody, male and female, so long as we have jobs and customers/clients). She is just resentful of the fact that other girls are prancing freely on the (sugar) dating market, while herself is mostly not available being attached to an ambitious and driven man who once appreciated her as his prize but now takes her for granted . . . and she may be running out of time soon after a decade and half with the man.

    Josh, be grateful that you are born with a penis between your legs. Our shelf life is much longer than the 10-15yrs that are typical of the fairer sex: 20-35yo, anything beyond that is over-time game for the exceptionally gifted women only. They have to bet their lives in those 10-15 years, and most of them don’t even realize it until they are almost 30. When you see cherry blossom, appreciate the flowers for what they are; don’t beat the flowers with a stick or whip out a chainsaw.

  384. Zack says:

    SS…are you married?

    Josh…truce then…your skin will not be your line of defense.

  385. DarkHorseSD says:

    Another piece of the travel guidelines for SDs.

    Be very careful about buying tickets. There are many many many women looking for a free trip to your area with no intentions towards you. The more desirable your location, the more you need to be cautious about this.

    The corollary to the above is that the more desirable your location, the less you have to buy tickets. The women are already there, or they are on their way.

    I’ve done this for many years and flown many people from many states and countries. I no longer buy tickets because I am in NYC. I can understand some locations could necessitate buying tickets, but you must vet the candidates well.

    If you can travel, meeting someone while out of town with the intention of bringing them to you in the future is an excellent method.

    If you can’t travel, accept living within your circumstances and don’t get taken for what you can’t afford to lose.

    The bottom line: its almost always easy enough to meet someone who happens to be where you happen to be. If you can’t, see me after class.

  386. Josh says:


    “I thought you were leaving the blog. How about we make a pact that we both stop posting? I am sure that this would be appreciated by many blog readers and it will let me focus on the new Nike stock coming in to my store and you can finally start your epic novel describing your fake SB lifestyle.”

    Sugary DOES NOT bring any value to me as an SD and believes that “some people” (= mainly herself in this case) believe the sugar space = prostition.

    She is here to “save” the SBs from the evil SDs (=all SDs) and to essentially shut this space down, if she has her way.

    How can a feminist of her kind like this space and claim to have made money in this space…it’s beyond me.

  387. SunShineSD says:

    @ Fatty

    You were spot-on in your hunch that Sugary was a “make-me-move” type of seller in the market angling for sky high price because frankly she is mostly not available.

    I do surmise though, in the future, in order to save their marriage (the biggest arrangement in life), and/or to make the rest of their lives for enjoyable, they will have more utilization of a site like SA, either together or separately.

  388. Josh says:

    @Zack says:

    “SS, shall we discuss best possible methods to have Josh subjected to extreme rendition, bound, strapped to a chair, tortured, covered with honey and left on some anthill in the deep Brazilian rainforest?”

    If you think that idiotic comments such as these have any affect on my thick skin then you are medicinally mistaken.

    My concern usually is that some bloggers demand respect while dumping horse manure on the others with impunity.

    And to top it off they believe that they are in their right to do so because some idea-less minions brainlessly support them. Ans at the end cry bloody murder and run to the moma or papa of the board.

    So carry on with juggling bunch of words around. 😉 Yawn!

  389. Zack says:

    SS, shall we discuss best possible methods to have Josh subjected to extreme rendition, bound, strapped to a chair, tortured, covered with honey and left on some anthill in the deep Brazilian rainforest?

  390. FatBastardSD says:


    I thought you were leaving the blog. How about we make a pact that we both stop posting? I am sure that this would be appreciated by many blog readers and it will let me focus on the new Nike stock coming in to my store and you can finally start your epic novel describing your fake SB lifestyle.

  391. Zack says:

    umm, currently no meds but for a multivitamin and baby asprin. I wouldn’t recommend it. I need to get back on blood pressure meds, but insurance is…a bit complex.

  392. Zack says:

    Carrie, I’ll do travel and one week in Fla, if you impress me via telcomm. Mostly to get to know you thoroughly. Then we could talk about the months.

  393. Zack says:

    Oh, if I had observed the “no sugar until the panties hit the floor,” my last SB would not have been able to scam me. Also, if my pot-SB was one I sought, she probably would not have met me if allowance had followed sex…maybe that’s me.

    On the other hand, I was under the mistaken belief that my pot-SB was really something special.

    OP…I hope your real world obligations do not interfere with your life.

  394. Zack says:

    @Josh..I tilt at windmills. I stand warned. I engage: “You are an ass.”

    Paradise stands in the shadow of swords…how much of a threat do you wish to pretend to be? I have no patience remaining for power games. I will not play.

    @DH: Points for style count in popular opinion. This moron misses that willfully. Only the willful bit is troublesome. Intentional rehash of idiocy is….idiotic; ahem, less productive than alternate approaches. But he’s right about a pro-female bias in any matters regarding relationships or intimacy in the US.

    @ SS lot of “concealed carry” in Fla. I think it is because the law enforcement is functionally fascist. Executive and Judiciary backstopping each other for systemic and self-gratifying purposes. Unopposed officials okaying cops shooting students in the back. Six-ening times. Try to get a driver’s licenses and witness the “Patriot Act” in one of it’s many destructive aspects. How long after 9/11 was that emergency measure supposed to authorize Government goosestepping? Who’s government?

    SS..also…I’m tired of drama, sorry if I get…sensitive…for a while. I’m confident you’ll carry on. Well, I suppose I just blame my tantrums on Josh…then they are rational, lol. 😛

  395. SunShineSD says:

    Spicey – Just saw your post after posting my reply to Gentle. Yes, I agree.

  396. SunShineSD says:


    I’d normally agree with you on getting a gun, and indeed gun is a powerful path to equality for women. In this particular case however, we are talking about a husband low on empathy due to neurological/genetic disability and likely an over achiever suffering from bouts of mania-depression, and little kids that can potentially have inherited some similar genetic traits from their father . . . I wouldn’t want to be the person who has recommended guns to that family, especially if it is headed to a (hopefully amicable) divorce after the kids grow up a little more. Even in an amicable divorce, there can be short-run conflicts and depressions early on, especially if the husband has considered the wife a trophy and career achievement prize, like those trophies on the wall or in display cases, instead of a living equal partner; the possessiveness and consequent emotional loss can hit him hard.

  397. Josh says:

    SugarySpicey says:

    “The word “feminazi” is used to hide behind what a man really wants to say “uppity bitch” but knows modern social morays don’t allow.”

    Well, I wanted to use a word that’s in circulation already lest Zack’s medicine went crazy on him because he did not understand my home-brewed terminology.

    Promptly punctuated by LOL!

  398. SugarySpicey says:

    Sunshine – the entire world, myself included, is safer without me packing heat. I owned mace once, and due to my own clumsyness can say, that shit stings, bad, for a long, long time. Though I do have a couple Browning rifles from my dad – this is the west after all.

    The word “feminazi” is used to hide behind what a man really wants to say “uppity bitch” but knows modern social morays don’t allow.

    Feminism is the radical idea that women are people endowed with the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the expectation of orgasms.

  399. gentle(man)soul says:


    ” We spent the day and half the night together enjoying our time. She stayed at the hotel this night too. She stayed the next two nights in my bed.
    While we did not get too physical we did confirm we turn each other on rather nicely ;)”

    Huh??? Not too physical ? What do you do with a hot girl who spends days with you in your bed ? I’m not particularly over sexed but I would certainly be exploring every crack and crevice in this future live-in . It is nice not to have the burden of sexual desire to confuse a friendship


    ” Here’s an excercise for you: as a man, when was the last time you were physically afraid for your safety (as in heart pounding, adrenaline pulsing, real fight or flight fear)? For me (prior to today) it was about three days ago walking alone to my car at night in an empty parking garage ”

    Get a gun and learn how to use it . You could become an NRA member and really blend in with the country boys .

  400. SunShineSD says:

    For what its worth, I don’t see what the point is in exposing the real life identity of another blogger unless that person is making up ridiculous bios and tall tales like Beck was. If what they say about themselves is truthful, it seems senseless bullying to pierce the veil of anonymity, especially when the victims are being truthful (and therefore vulnerable) . . . after all, don’t we all want honest discussions here?

  401. DarkHorseSD says:

    Just had an SB respond to a text from 12 days ago. Newbie, what can you come up with on that one?

  402. GenuineSD says:

    @Kindred Spirit ?
    Is that really you ? Hi there !
    Greetings all! First time on the blog in many months… How is everyone ?

  403. DarkHorseSD says:

    These travel guidelines put the SD in a terrible risky financial position. I strongly recommend they not be followed by SDs, unless kissing the entire cost of the endeavor away will not harm you excessively.

    The most egregious of them is the suggestion that monies be sent to the SB in advance. This is absolutely foolhardy, and a direct contradiction even to SA’s warnings not to do so.

    • SD Guru says:

      “The most egregious of them is the suggestion that monies be sent to the SB in advance.”

      Many SD’s have commented on that specific aspect of the guideline in the past. Please note it’s worded as a suggested alternative, not a requirement.

  404. Josh says:

    @DarkHorseSD says:

    “Josh, don’t be intimidated. I appreciate almost all of your posts and forms of humor.”

    Dang. FINAF***KINGLY. Someone showed guts to explicitly support me against the f***king feminazi’s.

    Thanks bro. It means a lot to me. 🙂

  405. Josh says:


    “I think I like her because we both have a crush on Bruce Willis.”

    That makes three of us, I guess. I love the guy since his Moonlighting days.

    “2. What medication Zack is on so that I can avoid it.”

    LOL! That’s pretty good assessment of Zack’s persistent condescending responses to my posts.

    @Zack, if I have thick skin and I don’t respond to your responses in kind, then don’t think that it is alright to carry on with you damn condescension. You have been fairly warned. 😉

  406. DarkHorseSD says:

    Carrie, you really should visit Zack. He can easily be talked into depositing the standard 4 months advance allowance into your account, which if all goes south, you could use to get yourself out of there.

  407. DarkHorseSD says:

    Josh, don’t be intimidated. I appreciate almost all of your posts and forms of humor.

  408. DarkHorseSD says:

    ATM, why would one necessarily have to be a SB OR a SD lol

  409. SunShineSD says:

    Carrie, IMHO, if you are a new SB, flying to see a new SD on 1st date and staying at his home is not recommended, unless you are in a geographical location that is devoid of local SD’s that suits you. Safety has to come first. You have not even met the guy in person. He could be anything. You wouldn’t go to a guy’s house for 1st date, would you? If you decide to go, at least have him put you up in a hotel near the airport or in the downtown of a major city for the first night or two (plus cab fare to the downtown hotel). It’s not safe to be picked up at an airport by a stranger and go directly to a place that you know nothing about. If he’s a real SD, he’d understand that you also need time and space to rest and prepare your best first appearance before meeting him for the first time. People don’t look their best when fresh off a plane, unless he is sending his private jet then move in with him pronto. LOL.

  410. FatBastardSD says:


    In case people think I am trying to suck your dick:

    I don’t appreciate you muscling in on my territory on the blog. It took me a long time to establish myself as the resident bastard here. I would appreciate if you fuck off and leave the blog.

    P.S. Have a nice day!

  411. Zack says:

    Carrie, details of “how” to secure yourself would need more. It sounds like you are ok going forward with a sense of trust rather than a trust fund in the bank. Ok. If this doesn’t work out, are you busy after? Nm.

    You could ask for a signed, postdated check in x amount and go from there. Nah, not your style yet. Do get $500 on the first meet, sometime. Just so you have options—that’s gotta be only a downpayment on the visit. You could ask for two weeks in advance. You could set a pfp or hourly rate. You could have him cover all costs and just do as you chose….really…all that is pretty complex for most….

    if you trust him…(geez, so much to go wrong over such a long time for a first meet…but…)…really, securing your own space and exit will give you confidence that will make you more “real” to him. It’s worth the effort to do right, even if he doesn’t want to (he doesn’t….the space for you is a courtesy, be aware his drive is not to put you in a hotel, and make concessions to that, given he is importing you, sorry.)

    Do be sincere in intimacy, proactive if it suits. If it doesn’t, you perhaps shouldn’t be making this venture at this point. You’re probably gonna learn something….plan to come back not quite 100% happy…just in case.

  412. FatBastardSD says:


    Sweetie is alright in my book despite her support of PriceySpicey. I think I like her because we both have a crush on Bruce Willis.

    I would like to find out:

    1. What medication flyr takes because I would like to try it.
    2. What medication Zack is on so that I can avoid it.
    3. Is gtt_envy a SB or SD? I have never met a guy who uses “YUMMY” and “HAWT” in their posts and hangs around women’s dorm rooms.

  413. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – I’m a creative type and therefor drama free – lots of drama for free.

    I’ve explained to Josh why the particular way he posted that information was problematic for me. It wasn’t just what was said, but the particular way in which it was said. I’ve already said that in speaking with him it is clear that he did not intend harm. But don’t try to reason with a woman who feels her safety was threatened, as a gentleman, it is your job to avoid ever putting her in a position to feel that way.

    As for the adventures to far away lands, I now travel internationally for my new job (as you know) and it’s actually every other month. You’re welcome to believe or not. But as the next trip will be to the UK our many blog friends who are from that side of the pond are welcome to issue a challenge if they don’t believe I am where I say. The truth is always a perfect defense.

  414. FatBastardSD says:


    PriceySpicey experiences a new tragedy every week along with an amazing adventure to exotic lands. I can understand why you want to take the piss out of her stories but it is bad internet practice to post people’s personal information.

    I really don’t see how you were threatening anyone’s children but I suppose that is part of the dramatic story line.

  415. Carrie says:

    Until I feel completely comfortable, of course it can not be a long and drawn amount of time. Since we both need to decide of this is what we want with one another. So last night we spoke a bit more about it may possibly the 1st/2nd week of March.

    • SD Guru says:

      “A pot sd suggested for me to come visit him for 4/5 days… What should I do?”

      When you first brought this up 4 days ago I referred you to the “Travel Guidelines for SB” post. What are your thoughts regarding those guidelines? That post was written because many newbie SB’s have asked the same question, and many have shared their lessons learned. As I have mentioned before, it’s not uncommon to think that everything will go according to plan only to find out that’s not the case when you get there. Also, plan a first meet for that many days can be a disaster waiting to happen.

      That said, you’re an adult and can make your own decisions as well as be responsible for the consequences.

  416. Zack says:

    Carrie, that is not sufficient to be safe traveling to meet an SD as a new SB. How long do you have before go/no go? You can draw alot of advice here today, I suspect. If you can stomach/digest it.

  417. Zack says:

    my thoughts regarding your second post…

    flyr is a top notch true and experience SD. Don’t test him, you’ll look silly.

    Richard is into himself and fun, probably more. Sugary is on his radar. More than that would be speculation. BDSM and other fetishes are not going to be the hot buttons you seem inclined to push for effect, if the blog denizens shape up…who appointed you God?

    per report, b/c she thought he was hot. I still suspect she is NSA, a European program, or some feminist prof trying to stuff a large world in a small ivory tower. For the porpoise of stirring up mucky sediment, I will say she is completely oblivious to what actually makes men successful. Besides, shouldn’t you feel awkward about your gender issues? 😛

  418. Carrie says:

    @Zack It will be long distance, and wants send for me to come to him. He stated he wants to find his right sb, so that he can get off the site.

    If I do not feel comfortable during anytime from getting off the plane to anytime during the trip. I can come back home. Sometime during the trip there will be sex involved.

    Lastly, we have not discussed the exact amount of money. But that he will assist and take care of his sb. We have just been focusing over the phone getting to know each other, building a relationship and becoming comfortable; which we are. We have great mutual chemistry.

  419. Zack says:

    You dismiss the courtesy and respect that should be implicit in human interaction; you -invite- offense rather than understanding. That characteristic of your person is unwelcome to me. Your perspective is, however, coherent enough to interest me despite my distaste 😛

    They seem individual to me. More so than you and FBSA/SD.

    Your intended audience is more than 2. Please target a 90% plus “applicable” rate and at least 50% “approval” rate. remember, no one is getting paid here. Well not me.

    Re: your wit. You overestimate yourself. Sorry.

  420. Josh says:

    Some people try to write as if they can represent both SBs and SDs. They can’t. It’s like a union leader talking on behalf of the management and vice versa.

    I would like to find out:

    1. Is flyr an SB or SD?

    2. Is Richard into BDSM, or likes to kiss Sugary’s ass because it is “fine” or he has some other “childhood issues”?

    3. Why does sweetie have a man’s picture as her avatar. For the longest time I was not sure if she were he, or he were she, or she were into him or him was into her or him were into him her or her were into her. Phew! 😉

  421. Josh says:

    @Zack says:

    “Josh, I find that offensive.”

    That’s called “Freedom to Get Offended” which is often is a result of the excercise of someone else’s First Ammendment rights. Just imagine a world where you did not have the opportunity to get ofended because the others did not have the freedom to speak their minds. Comprende usted! 😉

    “I feel both are real and you denigrate them.”

    Who both are you talking about? There is One n Only SugarySpicey who is the Supa Mega Grand Masta of “denigrating” people, especially the dicklings, with impunity. So get over it.

    “Careful of your wit…it misses half the time.”

    My wit is “off the cuff”, usually minted in a fraction of second, so it is bound to miss quite a bit. With 50% I am doing mighty good. Thanks.

  422. Zack says:

    Josh, I find that offensive. I feel both are real and you denigrate them. Careful of your wit…it misses half the time.

  423. Josh says:

    @Zack says:

    “I’d like to hear what SS and SS have to say.”

    I would also like to see what SS and SS and SS and SS and SS and SS and SS and SS and SS and SS and SS and SS and lest we forget her what SS has to say. 😉


  424. Elaine says:

    @ SuSp

    Asperger you said, right? I think for those who have never lived with one it will be very hard to understand what this mentally does to their partner.

    @ Onyx

    Now your plan is to not only have to take care of a sick mother but also a teenager!?
    And the teenager has to take care of the mother??

    Keep us updated, this is going to be fun! 🙂
    I know first hand because I happen to live with one myself (my kid that is)
    Thank God no sick mother ….

  425. Zack says:

    Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
    Max Ehrmann, “Desiderata”

    My fond memories of a beautiful person…regards, Bhanu, may you get what you deserve.


  426. Zack says:

    @gtt, indeed.

    @ Carrie, more info…local or long distance, short or long term? First meet? any allowance or intimacy discussion? We gotta know hot spots, sorry.

    Generally, if you’re ok with the arrangement,then… ok for being in a similar place for the committed time, though make sure your exit is paid for, in your hands, at your will and irrevocable (ie, tickets in your name, hotel reservations prepaid.)

    Try to keep the upfront outlay for him modest and…salvageable if it works…that way he can reinvest it in you. If it works. You first.

  427. gtt_envy says:


    Sounds awesome!!

  428. Carrie says:

    Girls/ladies I need some advice pronto? A pot sd suggested for me to come visit him for 4/5 days. We have great chemistry and conversation, which you can tell a lot from what a person says. I’m comfortable and like him at this point. What should I do? I would appreciate any advice.

  429. Zack says:

    @ Spicey(sic:), Josh, My-ex…please watch with captions on, translated to English for a modest boost to the effect, should you be so inclined…


  430. Zack says:

    If you go through the trouble, please send her mine as well. (No request for her’s is implied.)

    It would be a first, as far as I know.

    Ptherwise, I’d like to hear what SS and SS have to say.

  431. SunShineSD says:

    Thanks FBSD. Blog Gods, Please share my email address with SugarySpicy, so she may continue the conversation if she wishes without disclosing further personal info publicly.

  432. FatBastardSD says:


    You seem to be traumatized by people offering to take you to a Motel 8 as well as old men who walk too close to you, and post a lot of personal information for someone who is worried about the safety of her children.

    Why not just say Josh pissed you off by posting personal information instead of being so dramatic (yet again). The blog is not a PriceySpicey realty TV show.

  433. Josh says:

    @Zack says:

    “It’s as biased as Josh.”

    Thou dost not take up the name of Josh for a vain thing. 😉

  434. SunShineSD says:

    Sugary – Wow, I did not at all expect that kind of hardship in the family . . .

    We all love a challenge, don’t we? I have tons of 30yr olds throwing themselves at me, I don’t want any of them but prefer pursuing early 20-something olds who are too lacking in life’s experience to appreciate what I offer. My ex-GF/SB had the pick of straight men but had to seduce a mostly gay man younger than herself, to get herself pregnant, now after the baby is born realizing the truth in what I was saying to her. You probably also had the pick of whomever you wished to bestow your favor . . .

    Have you thought about linking his obsession to how you want him to behave? Like you only step on the scale after a day of no criticism from him at either you or the kids . . . unless he makes up for his effrontery by fucking you really well that day. You can devise a points system for him. LOL. Perhaps a bunch of signs like “No Criticism Zone” vs. “Free Venting Zone,” with the latter mostly in the bedroom, so he can only vent when he is pulling on your hair and doing other pleasurable things to you; or color coded rooms if you don’t want the guests to see signs. Violating the zone code would cause him to miss a reading on your weight.

  435. SugarySpicey says:

    Sunshine – he holds one simple card, I can’t stand the thought of all that criticism directed at my kids without my being there as the buffer to protect them, and I would never prevent one second of their time with him, though he threatens to return that favor.

    He’s not frigid, he loves to F*ck me on the perfect alignment of planets when it happens. He’s very high functioning, very successful Aspbergers. Which I thought was cute and quirky when I was 20. Not so much now that my scale is hooked up to a wifi feed that graphs my body to the ounce day in and out.

    Though it was funny when he pointed out that my 184 lb. cleaning lady weighs herself every Friday.

  436. SunShineSD says:

    Perhaps he has performance anxiety due to occasional ED that he wishes to hide? Has he looked into medical solutions?

  437. SunShineSD says:

    Sugary, I posted my previous before seeing your last. Are you saying that he is . . .for lack of better words, the male equivalent of being “frigid”? Only picked you as “arm candy”? How old is he? approximately? What cards does he have in preventing you from seeking a divorce . . . if you don’t mind me asking. The way most Americans perceive, divorce is a natural advantage/right of women married to men who are at or above relatively well-off. Courts almost always give the women custody of the children.

  438. SugarySpicey says:

    But, for some reason he really wants to keep the milk in his fridge and under his control anyway.

  439. SugarySpicey says:

    Unfortunately, it’s not about the same cow. I sooooo wish it was about the cow, I would be soooo happy if I learned there was another cow on the side. Unfortunately, he may just be lactose intolerant.

  440. SunShineSD says:

    Sugary – The “control and suppression” probably were not there when you two were in the early stages of dating. His nitpicking in relatively recent times may be a sign of sexual frustration due to the “same cow syndrome” (or declining marginal utility as quantity of the same product/service increases); most recently probably also his passive aggressive way of getting back at you for what you did. The real life story should tell him that:

    1. while not denying your own responsibility, he also had a share in driving you into doing what you did, so stop punishing you (unless you want him to channel it through a format that you might enjoy; can be helpful in letting him get his male pride back). That just comes with the territory with girls who have a lot of options; he’s not going to get a better offer elsewhere. With your looks, you can still pull that implied threat off.

    2. It could have been much worse.

    With the right amount of behavioral management, rewards and varieties, you may be writing a book of a different kind of experience soon . . . like How to Keep a Husband Who Starts to Think He is Too Good for the Marriage (or how to put him back under pussy power). LOL.

  441. SugarySpicey says:

    Sunshine – your proposals (minus the gay baby daddy of course) sound delightful compared to what I’m dealing with. If only I could solve it all by letting him boss me around and tie me down (or hell me tying him down) and bringing another cow into the mix … can you really live with every calorie counted, every minute on the treadmill tracked, and every second of relaxation plotted on a “productivity grid.”

    Imagine this: A man wants a thoroughbred racehorse all his life. He finds what he tells all his friends is the perfect horse. Spends years getting into position to own the horse. Finds the perfect stable, the perfect trainer, and buys the horse (who he wanted because he loves to watch her run). Then he puts the horse in the stable, subjects her to grueling training in preparation for the big race, pulls her out, trots her around for everyone to congratulate him on her fine lines, gets her ready to run. Then changes his mind, puts her back in the stable and leaves – no explanation, no “well done” pat, no acknowledgement that she was favored to win. Then next week he does it to her again, and the next week, and the next week, for over a decade. Eventually, that racehorse is going to get really feisty, she might even want to “prove” to him how well she’d perform and how much all the other owner’s would like to let her loose to line their pockets with the pleasure of owning such a piece of flesh.

    A racehorse needs to run, and it’s cruel to keep her in racing condition, to care about how ready to race she is, if you’re never going to give her a chance to stretch those muscles.

    Valentine’s was just me being stupid as I should have known better. It’s me that I was frustrated at, for thinking things would be different this year because I’d thrown such a temper tantrum and ran my stupid ass all over the world to show how much I meant my threats. Called me on that one, as soon as I settled down the status quo returned, and I don’t hold any of the power. I could care less about $$ (as I’m perfectly capable of supporting myself and those who depend on me) there are worse, and far easier, ways to force a mother into compliance than $$.

  442. Zack says:

    @ Spicey: every morning, multiple times when I can’t avoid thinking about my daughter.

    “All I was saying is that in exposing someone to danger they should be particularly careful if that someone is more easily injured and more vulnerable.”

    –with this, I agree…the superlative adjectives would be superfluous. 😛 I would add also, that it should be considered a duty and furthermore, barring crisis or prior consent…..don’t do it.

    btw—I’m in Florida for a while. I haven’t written a book yet, though. I’m too lazy and self-indulgent 😀

  443. SunShineSD says:

    Sugary – He may have learned his lesson this time, as evidenced by his Valentine’s offering.

    If not, relate to him this true story: an SD about his own age, say 40, also in the 4%, indulged a young SB to the tune of over $50k after-tax money a year for a year and a half; even buying a house for her to live in while pursuing the next degree, and as a love nest to make a baby together when the time is right. Then they had a little argument before the house was ready, and she had a one-night stand with a mostly gay friend and got pregnant. They tried to continue dating but all the hormones tore her away from the SD/BF and towards the mostly gay friend. The SD supported the girl through much of the pregnancy both out of generosity and just in case the baby is his, but the whole thing became unmanageable because of the hormones washing through the girl’s body drawing her towards the father of the baby. After the baby is born, the lives of both the girl and the less-than-willing father are financially ruined, while the SD/ex-BF gets to stare at the empty nest and deprived of what he needs the most in his life. All for what? the SD/ex-BF’s momentary arrogance in taking her for granted, and the SB/ex-GF’s pride in the “pussy power” of a very pretty girl, which is indeed a potent power, both for creation and destruction, simultaneously.

    I’m no expert on couple’s counseling, but perhaps you can give him a choice to be either bossy/controlling in the bedroom or in the rest of the house, but not both. He gets to tie you up and boss you around on Saturday as a reward/treat for him after treating you with respect and courtesy Sunday through Friday. Heck, you should be the boss around the house Sunday through Friday. If both of you are bored of pure monogamy, once in a while perhaps try sugar hunting together as a couple just for spice. Men suffer from “same cow syndrome” but men are also very visual so the presence of another cow is often sufficient not necessarily intercourse with the new cow per se.

    BTW, if his main controlling issue is money and how it is spent in the family, get him to give you an allowance; tell him it’s a lot cheaper than divorce and paying for two households. For vast majority of relative well off men out there, that should be sufficient deterrence (poor men have no fear of divorce). However, if he is way up there in income and the two of you don’t have much debt, divorce may be affordable, then both of you will have your freedom back and you will be well supported financially anyway. Given his performance on Valentine’s, he will always have a sense of duty to you, the mother of his children, even after divorce. No one can keep a man who wants to leave, but I don’t think he wants to leave, nor do you, if the right mix of sugar and spice is back in the family life.

  444. Josh says:

    “It is understandable that the perspectives of men and women on safety are so different–men and women live in different worlds…at core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.”

    ― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

  445. SugarySpicey says:

    All I was saying is that in exposing someone to danger they should be particularly careful if that someone is more easily injured and more vulnerable.

    Here’s an excercise for you: as a man, when was the last time you were physically afraid for your safety (as in heart pounding, adrenaline pulsing, real fight or flight fear)? For me (prior to today) it was about three days ago walking alone to my car at night in an empty parking garage when a creepy homeless man walked too close. Ask most men that question and their answer will be some example from a very long time ago.

  446. DarkHorseSD says:

    I still can’t find this Beckham woman’s profile.

  447. Zack says:

    Right, thus Sugary’s suggestion that men should obligate themselves to submit to the (fungible) needs of all women, as a matter of right and guilt.

    Screw that.

    It’s as biased as Josh. And just as true.

    • SD Guru says:

      Re: The offending post

      Spicey brought this issue to my attention this morning. I reviewed the offending post and found that it contained: (1) Her first name and the state where she’s located from an old blog post, which she had previously disclosed freely on the blog, (2) her pseudonym used to write her book, which although not explicitly mentioned in the blog, can be easily found through the information she had provided about her book.

      Nevertheless, as a moderator I’m very sensitive to privacy issues in the blog so I removed the post in question immediately out of respect for her privacy.

      I do not believe the information was posted with ill intentions. And the moral of the story is, if you don’t want your information to be found on the internet, then don’t put it out there yourself.

  448. flyr says:

    I think SS s point was that women are far more vulnerable than men to certain of the power imbalances – strength, the responsibilities of single motherhood etc

    To SS I would add that part of the problem is that your sisters reward bad behavior in so many ways………

  449. Zack says:

    But also, if you consider prison, war, actual life percent spent in labor (the other kind), men have a pretty tough world, too…it’s just a bit broader than the one you would choose to isolate for debate….imo

  450. Zack says:

    Eh, ok, sorry for the tone, you stated my point better than I did.

  451. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack, you’re right, “some men” I shouldn’t say all men. All men don’t do anything, you’re individuals.

  452. Zack says:

    Jordan: yes
    Boss: no
    Sugary: Why do men refuse to recognize how much more dangerous, judgemental, and slippery a world this is for women?….what annoying, telling, and exculpatory generalizations.

  453. SugarySpicey says:

    Sunshine – but what does a girl do if she chooses the 4% completely devotes her life to him for and no matter how thin, how perfectly coifed, how accomplished, or how ignoring of his many slights he still makes her entire body clench in nervousness when she’s around him and his constant demand for perfection? … She entertains asshats who expect nothing and think everything she does is great, until she realizes what losers they are and runs back to the guilded cage that she knows, even though it’s a miserable existence of control and suppression.

  454. SugarySpicey says:

    The person who made that post has apologized, and says he did not mean to make me feel threatened or unsafe.

    Why do men refuse to recognize how much more dangerous, judgemental, and slippery a world this is for women?

    Can we all just agree that posts which expose a person’s identity (especially for women who could be labeled in a very unfavorable and dangerous way) are unacceptable, and be friends again?

  455. sweetie says:

    Reread your Valentine’s post. Makes sense.

  456. SugarySpicey says:

    SunShine, you are very perceptive, and probably right on all accounts.

  457. SunShineSD says:

    Men don’t fall asleep after serving up a wonderful Valentine’s when their plan is to get laid (like an SD still in the POT stage). A man would only do that when he is stressed out, over-worked, and really love and care about the woman at a deep emotional level, for reasons other than sex per se . . . perhaps somewhat conflicted because a large part of his stress is due to the woman, which is par for the course for dating a very pretty and feisty woman (and one who enjoys her “pussy power.”) At least Sugary is not pregnant with someone else’ child; that would make him even more conflicted. LOL. He should see it could be worse.

  458. sweetie says:

    Sunshine, I don’t think the guy on Valentine’s was “the Ex.” I thought he was a potential SD.

  459. SunShineSD says:

    Yikes. He may not be The Pirate himself but has indeed proved himself to be a clone of The Pirate. Sorry to hear about your predicament, Sugary. What’s up with pretty women in mid-life crisis wanting to play with fire and obnoxious asshats . . .

    “The Ex” deserves better than what he is getting . . . his falling asleep on Valentine’s evening after delivering up a superb sugary treat that he didn’t have to (and dare I say, someone didn’t deserve after the past years travails) may well be his subconscious crying out: I have done my part, if she keeps chasing asshats, it will be within my right to jump ship and cut her off.

    While some 80% of men never amount to much, and 80% of the remaining 20% rises no more than a couple sigma’s above mediocrity, the other 20% of the 20% (4% of total) male population do rise in value as they age to a level that not even the most youthful looking woman can not keep up after a decade or two. It’s up to the women in their lives to choose whether there are enough reasons for them to stick around. It’s almost time to make a choice, as the two of you gradually approach market parity. Perhaps the latest angst and streak of picking asshats only on the side is your way of convincing yourself to stand by him and thereby giving him a reason to stand by you, not only for the sake of the little ones.

  460. Kindred Spirit says:

    How new? A week? A day? Well since it has been taken off (and I didn’t catch it), I’m sure SDGuru is aware and that blogger is moderated or banned.

  461. Sugardoll says:

    Onyx – Sounds pretty cool…

  462. sweetie says:

    So, it is a new blogger…

  463. sweetie says:

    Sugary, sorry to hear that. That’s disturbing. We should be informed who this blogger is, for future reference.

  464. flyr says:

    SS – Where’s Guido when you need him.
    (In all seriousness I am sorry you have to put up with this stuff)

    From your brief description it sounds like criminal behavior

  465. onyx_percula says:

    Update on the live-in SB situation —

    Some wanted to know what would happen when my pot SB “L from FL” came to visit me this last week.

    I’ll keep it fairly short for the TL;DR crowd, lol.

    Quick back story… I have been talking with her since last summer when she appeared on SA as a fresh 18 year old newbie. While we did not work something out at the time, we became fast friends and I played mentor in the sugar bowl for her.

    While I do not recommend a newbie SB travel for a first meeting, as others and myself have said sometimes its okay too. Since L and I have talked regularly for many months and in taking precautions to insure her safety and comfort we decided it would be best for our first meeting to take place at my location.

    She flew in late Wednesday night and spent the night at a hotel without meeting since she didn’t get in till what would be a time adjusted for her timezone ~3am. I met her at the hotel the next “morning”. It was a good meeting, akin to old friends seeing each other after being apart for a long time. We spent the day and half the night together enjoying our time. She stayed at the hotel this night too. She stayed the next two nights in my bed.

    Bottom line we already had a solid connection before meeting face to face that has only been strengthened. While we did not get too physical we did confirm we turn each other on rather nicely 😉

    A comment from her… “Being around you makes me happy and also doesn’t wear me out or annoy me (which could have been very easy for this long of a visit) and you are just as kind and caring as you led me to believe.”

    She will be moving in early this coming fall after completing the current semester of college and keeping her commitments to job and family over the summer. We will see each other regularly over the intervening months. A lot of shit can happen between now and then, but we are both people that don’t think in absolutes and keep our word.

  466. Sugardoll says:

    SS * yes ,i think u should say who is it..or email us or something so we be aware.

  467. Zack says:

    Newbie, can you tell me what I should avoid like the plague?

  468. Newbie Needs Help says:

    SS someone in the blog as in this blog?? Can you tell us whom or tell me by email so I avoid him like the plague

  469. DarkHorseSD says:


  470. DarkHorseSD says:

    Why would I want a woman with surgery when using SA I can easily trade an unsatisfactory one in for a younger or better model?

  471. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie et al – one of our new bloggers chose to post my name and geography, violating my privacy and putting my children at risk – after threatening me on the blog and demanding pics multiple times off blog. Fortunately, his very dangerous and scary post is now removed.

    Until this sociopath, who would willingly put children at risk is gone, I don’t dare participate in the blog at any level. Who knows how much further he’ll go, or what his motivation is for intentionally, publicly compromising the safety of a woman and her young children.

  472. ss1959 says:

    I hate that fake breast look. If your breasts are exactly the same shape whether you are standing up or lying on your back, that’s just unnatural. And who wants to snuggle up to a pair of rock-hard boobs anyway?

  473. KatPaw says:

    Love when someone makes promises and never had intentions of following through.

  474. Newbie Needs Help says:

    I work 9-6, I get 30 min lunch break but when the office is very busy I don’t I eat at my desk. My desk is right beside the partner, separated by a glass wall I cannot pull out my phone while at work. Honestly, half the time I barely can manage to pee once. After that I rush home, 20 min of that are above ground so I can text then. I get home have to dress in 5 min and head back to the gym just making it on time, then I come back home cook and study, and crash asleep. I have a few opportunities to text during the day and yes I will as often as I can, but sometimes it will take me a few hours. I just ask SDs to try and get an inkling for the SB’s life, and don’t jump to the conclusion of we only want their money or are not interested 🙂

  475. Sugardoll says:

    @newbie –

    Well i have a different kind of view regarding to text / phone call or any type of communication contact w my SD..its true we all busy and by the fact that some have more money than others doesnt mean u dont have time to answer… I think when u really interested u put an effort, i used to answer right away cuz right now i have the time, if i was busy and my SD text me i will reply back as soon as i can, if i text him and i get an answer 3 days later, so then i do the same..I give what i get. And if someone is not interested in keeping a communication going on so neither do i.

  476. Newbie Needs Help says:

    Josh and whomever else posted about an SB not making enough time to text or see each other or taking a few hours to reply…some of us work, go to school and bust our asses at the gym…we have a life and are busy too, just like you… that you make more money than we currently do, doesn’t mean we are at home watching TV all day

  477. Sugardoll says:

    @fly omg, if i have been on the blog before messing up everything by myself, i would of been a pro SB lol….now its different, ive learned a lot following the blog though.

  478. sweetie says:

    Kindred, Sugary has a lot of info on the sub/dom area. I think Onyx as well. You should be in good hands, hehehe!

  479. Kindred Spirit says:

    Has any one ever had experience with a dominant/submissive arrangement? If so, and willing to share, what was it like and which “role” were you in? Curious.

  480. Josh says:

    I would not seek a fake-boob SB. Not my thing. I specifically ask to make sure if they look fake. 😉

  481. Kindred Spirit says:

    Sweetie, you are right, and I don’t want to be a pest to SDGuru. An unpaid moderator…he’s been at this for years!! And obviously still smitten with it all. 🙂 Yup, when he has the time he’ll get to it…. And sometimes requests get swallowed up in the blog; it happens. We have faith in the wise guru! 😉

  482. Carrie says:

    Getting plastic surgery is a preference and personal choice. Since we as humans always do not see ourselves like every else does.

    The following video is a great example, included below is the link. It’s very interesting.


  483. sweetie says:

    Kindred, no news from SD Guru about your email address as of yet. Waiting till he comes back to the blog.

  484. flyr says:

    @sugardoll – You have a lot of good things ahead . ? what do you now know about sugar that you wished you would have known earlier?

  485. @bosslaydiie says:

    Hey guys. Was just wondering if there was a wall of shame or something like that where we could post and read about scammers and fakes on this site

  486. Jordan R. says:

    Everything in moderation. I feel for the women (and men) who once they “fix” that first -whatever it is they didnt like about themselves- they continue FINDING other things on their bodies to fix. I don’t judge, you never know what it’s like to wake up every single morning and hate the way you look. I have insecurities here and there about my body but thanks to God I’ve gotten through life just fine, without ridicule, with much attention from all the guys 🙂 I was popular in school etc.. but what if you were the kid who was made fun of all their life??? Then one day they were finally offered an escape. Your perspective changes.

    “Do Sugar Babies ever feel pressured to look their very best for the most successful benefactors?”

    All women should feel a little pressure in my opinion, whether it’s sugar dating or not. We are visual creatures, I want to know that when I step out the door and off to this date with him that he’s proud to be in my presence and show me off, not eye-ing every woman that walks past thinking “Geez I wish I was with her.” And in the sugar world, I’d think (please inform me because I am new to this) as a man moves up the in the ranks, the chances of his SB being replaced for slacking off grows. No?

  487. Sugardoll says:

    btw im 37 yrs old, and lately i stopped telling my age, cuz once i say it i get bombarded with a lot of questions bout how do i get myself looking like im in my 20’s, so i prefer to say im 28 and no questions… lol… I dont have a six pack, but i try to keep myself looking good, cuz 37 and single, doesnt sound exciting at all for me, lol…

  488. Sugardoll says:

    @richard, im not saying im not agree w plastic S. but as u say if in 20 yrs i feel i need to get some things back to their place, sure i will consider it… lol… But i see a lot of girls , young with such pretty bodies, fixing things they can easily get fixed w some exercises…

  489. Richard says:

    @flyr – I would say there is more difference between NY and LA than between NY and Paris. LA is another plane in terms of obsession with appearance and surface appeal.

    @Sugardoll – I’m glad you find yourself perfect. Check again in 20 years. 🙂 Seriously, you can work out like a fiend and it won’t change your bra cup size or the shape of your nose or the size of your lips. If plastic surgery makes someone feel better about themselves, and more attractive, I don’t have a problem with it at all. It is only different in degree from makeup, flattering clothes, artificial eyelashes and nails, etc, etc….

  490. flyr says:

    “”In 1,000 years archeologists will dig up our bodies and find after-factory headlight modifications as ridiculous as vomitoriums and neck plates.””

    Probably paired with the practices of African tribes to extend the lips

    I was amazed at the difference in the young women of Paris vs LA and NY . Our day started and ended early so we were enjoying wine and dinner at sidewalk cafes and then generally a 2 hour power walk around the city . Lots of very stylishly dressed women ( not necessarily dressed up or expensively) but not looking like they dressed , had plastic surgery or even walked to impress but rather were just full of living energy. It’s a different culture and something we could learn from.

  491. Sugardoll says:

    well for me plastic surgerys means nothing, maybe cuz my body needs not augmentation modifications at all..(just me being humble lol ) but i understand some girls dont feel good self confidence with their bodies, i prefer natural, and when it comes to dates, well, this is me, either you like my curves and if you dont like them, i dont care, i prefer natural, i like my body the way it is and i find it perfect, ive always find girls fixing their bellies and spending money , and i tell them why dont u better get ur ass to the gym and have a natural fit body…

  492. KatPaw says:

    Hmm I personally do wish to have breast augmentation.. I also want them to look as natural as possible. I dislike the “bolt-on” look.
    Personally I am unhappy with my boobs but that’s life too I’ve had kiddos and breast-fed and bring almost 32 they aren’t perky or as big as they once were.. Is it on my top of important need to do list?? Nope but it’s in my someday wish list. 😉

  493. Elaine says:

    @ DH

    Yesssss, I do read the blog for the articles too! 😛
    And like doing that.

    But couldn’t help notice….. my eyes always get drawn to this, really can’t help it, is just stronger than me…. 😉

    Always wondering why women do this to themselves, because this is surely not what it was originally ment to; improving your features.

    Think SuSp is right, in 1000 years archeologists will have some stuff to discuss! LOL

  494. DarkHorseSD says:

    “So was just curious how men look at these …..eh…. “objects”?”

    I hadn’t noticed until you brought it up and then it took me a while to figure out which picture. I read the blog for the articles 😉

    “Sticking to the surgery topic;…. what about lipfillers?”

    They add 18 years to a woman’s “Internet age” on average, making her look 9 years older than her actual age, on average.

  495. Elaine says:

    Wait……I am not at all against surgery! I
    I think Demi Moore, Cher, Christie Brinkley etc…do look fabulous, and when my time will come, I am sure I will try to “conserve” myself well
    Was just watching the pic, and yes, she is wearing a corset that pushes up,but gosh….think she must have looked in the mirror before
    walking out of her walk in closet?

    So was just curious how men look at these …..eh…. “objects”? 😉

    Sticking to the surgery topic;…. what about lipfillers?

  496. aliceS says:

    Flyr I heard we don’t need breast implants anymore. They can correct breast with your own fats. If you have such. Price is the same. Effects better and stay for life. 🙂 it’s a great solution for me. I breastfeed both of mine kids. Each over 7 month. I don’t complain about the look, but I lost one size. So, I would definitely correct mine.

  497. Flyr says:

    Personal observation is that artificial is a red flag, potentially indicating esteem issues. My experience is that with plastic often comes insensitivity (both physical and mental)

    ducking and running.

    Thus the answer is that natural breasts come in all sizes and shapes and are generally wonderful . Perhaps 10% of boob jobs are slight enhancements and OK while 90% are a negative …….

    I absolutely believe that it should be illegal to perform this kind of plastic surgery before 21. Would also add that two of the women who were kidded in High School, felt somewhat inadequate in college but matured and spent the rest of their lives at the top of the their game while their more abundant sisters fought an unsuccessful war against gravity.

  498. Flyr says:

    @Elaine “Always have wanted to know….., do men really fancy those big, round, hard, obviously fake kind of boobs as on the first pic !?””””””””

    Some like those big store perfect red tomatoes with no texture and no taste

    Others prefer the farmers market , ripened on the vine and not in a vat of chemicals perhaps with some cosmetic blemishes but delicious .

    It they want to impress the unwashed they get the big store tomatoes and put them on display.

  499. DarkHorseSD says:

    This Beckham woman sounds like someone I’d like to meet. I used several variants of searches for her but can’t find her profile. Is it hidden from search?

    Could she at least post on the blog?

    Also, just in case, how does she react to winks?

  500. SugarySpicey says:

    In 1,000 years archeologists will dig up our bodies and find after-factory headlight modifications as ridiculous as vomitoriums and neck plates.

  501. LadyDi says:

    For this i have only one word “terrible”. On the other hand, Jennifer Lopez is 45 years old and she looks fabulous. =)

  502. Richard says:

    @Elaine – If you’re talking about the top photo to the right, she’s wearing a bit of pushup corsety thing, so I don’t think (hope?) that her breasts are that round and hard. She can certainly afford the best surgeons (and isn’t afraid to use them!). I’m more curious about what’s going on with her right armpit…did she have an extra vagina implanted? 🙂

    I’m not a “breast man” so size isn’t that important to me. But I would prefer small perky breasts over large saggy ones. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with plastic surgery, either, as long as the result looks natural.

    It always makes me laugh when someone remarks about certain celebrities and how “gracefully she is aging” and how “she hasn’t resorted to plastic surgery” when in fact the opposite is true…she’s just had good doctors. 🙂

  503. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ Elaine

    ” do men really fancy those big, round, hard, obviously fake kind of boobs as on the first pic !? ”

    UGH ! Natural is always better . The only exception is the unfortunate girl who has nipples on flat skin with barely any breast tissue covering the breast bone . Implants even then look like Beckham’s-2 tennis balls stuck under the skin

  504. Elaine says:

    Always have wanted to know….., do men really fancy those big, round, hard, obviously fake kind of boobs as on the first pic !?

  505. Kindred Spirit says:

    “Do Sugar Babies ever feel pressured to look their very best for the most successful benefactors?”

    I always strive to look and be the best, authentic “me” I can for a man off SA, not because I feel pressured, but because I want to! That’s a part of it, and I’m more than happy to please a man that way.

    There are similar but also different efforts that I believe go into an arrangement vs. a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, and should always be something you feel comfortable and excited about doing. Always. Don’t ever compromise yourself for anyone! 🙂 Have a fabulous day!!!

  506. Kindred Spirit says:

    First? That’s a first!! 😀 Good day everyone!!

  507. Mark says:

    Sorry but she’s not attractive and only has a career because of Beckham she should try going to Uni and starting from nothing