7 years ago
Dressing for Daddy
  • Posted Apr 10, 2014


Deciding what to wear can add extra hours to the already extensive pre-date rituals. Insert the complexities of a sugar dating, and all of a sudden, there is absolutely nothing to wear.

I’ve heard horror stories about Sugar Babies showing up in ripped clothes, or overtly provocative attire. The secret to securing an arrangement is dressing the part. There’s nothing more disappointing than expecting the classy girl from your pictures and ending up with a ratchet.

Every man is different, but there are universal ways to impress him with personal style before charming him with witty comebacks.

Start with Shopping

Boutiques are brimming with the latest trends, which can be so tempting for a modern fashionista. Don’t succumb to cheap thrills, unless you want to be regarded that way. Investing in some items that are better quality will change your look, and raise your confidence. Sugar Daddies are mature, and they want a lady who is above average. Pick out items that look good on your shape and are a timeless compliment, like stylish blazers and classic pumps.

Don’t Ask

Seeking out a second opinion is always a viable option, but don’t ask him what to wear. You’re a grown ass woman. Asking is a sign of uncertainty, and he’s not going to know how to respond. If you’re unsure of how casual the restaurant is, Yelp! it before asking him. Every woman should know how to dress for any occasion, that’s arm candy 101. Just remember, it’s always better to be slightly overdressed show up too casual.

Something New

Arriving to a sugar date in rags is never appropriate. Even though the distressed look in this season, avoid it like the plague, lest you appear to be low-class. Fads are temporary for a reason — they only look cute while they’re in style. Your should look polished and refined, not worn out.

Take Care

You would never take a new Birkin to the beach, so take proper care of your garments to make them look expensive longer. Dry clean only isn’t a suggestion, that’s just like, the rules of feminism. There is nothing more tacky and unrefined than a wrinkled article of clothing. Ironing boards are so 1950’s, and investing in a garment steamer is entirely necessary for a girl on-the-go. Here are a few tips to making your clothes look newer and more expensive for longer.

Under Accessorize

Legendary fashion icon Coco Chanel once advised ladies, “When accessorizing, take off the last thing you put on.” Limiting yourself to one accessory is plenty to make a statement and add feminine flair, while guaranteeing you don’t resemble a christmas tree. A perfect necklace or scarf can compliment an outfit and help you look put together. But a necklace, scarf, hat, ten bracelets, three rings, and feather earrings will make you look twelve.

Sexy vs. Skanky

Popularized by Cosmo, sexy vs skanky is a common inner conflict for women. It’s no secret that sex appeal is a must, but slutty only appeals to classless men. Cleavage is acceptable, but not mandatory. Keep yourself covered, while exposing a sexy asset like your legs or clavicle. Daddy likes a lady who turns heads without warranting a point and stare. The idea here is to keep the goods under-wraps, increasing your value to him.


Flaunting the right outfit can take you from bashful to bootylicious. Every sugar date is like an interview, and landing this job means designer clothes and generous allowances. Treat this like any other lucrative opportunity, and may the best baby be pampered.


How do you dress for Daddy?


Leave a Reply

298 Responses to “Dressing for Daddy”

  1. cute couples looking good seeking arrangement is one of the finest site for elite singles

  2. Asia says:

    Love The Comments! 🙂 As I must say I’m ( new) but 100% Agree with most of the girls ” Meeting for the first time isn’t or doesn’t have to be about sex ” Me personally ” Go with Flow Type of Girl & Relaxed Love To Caress Witch Is a Natural Thing For Me ” Making Him Comfortable

  3. Zack says:

    Though I risk beating a dead horse, I’ll recycle the “pay them to go home” theme 😛
    freakonomics com/2009/02/06/i-pay-them-to-leave/

  4. Richard says:

    Looking for the cheapest pussy is like looking for the cheapest wine. Both will result in headaches. 😉

  5. Josh says:

    Rhetorical question: Who gets cheaper pussy? A game-player or a chivalrous man?

  6. Josh says:


    I hear you.

    Both of you had a great thing going AND she knew that dropping the L-bomb was not an option, but she did it anyway.

    What you are experiencing is yet another example of how women proactively sabotage their relationships. Then they and their supporters deny that they are doing any such thing. They don’t do it because they are bad people. They just do. It is what it is.

    In your case, it is “love” from nowhere, which should not have happened. In traditional relationships, it is any number of things from nowhere, which should not have happened.

    At this point, you need to tread very carefully because it’s not just you are her. Mishandling the situation, may cause your damsel in distress to fly off handle and create challenges in her life, your life, your wife’s life and other family members’ lives.

    Money talks and BS walks. Use cash judiciously to reduce stress in your life and those around you. Extra few hundreds or thousands, above and beyond what is fair, will be well-spent.

  7. Kms2014 says:

    I don’t think games have any place on SA, for men or women….In fact, I would say anyone that plays games(mind games not ‘apples to apples’, or something fun like that, hehe, or fun sex games…), especially, over the age of, say 30…well, they need to grow up. Oh well, they do say, ‘all is fair in love and war’, so perhaps some people just enjoy all the drama and ‘chasing’…I love direct and ‘to-the-point’ practicalness that comes with arrangement relationships…but, prefer this type of thing in regular dating scenarios as well.

  8. Eloquence says:

    When will one address the games that men play?…so you “skirt” around the issue as if his/male dominance of thought… has no fault at fiction?

    Are we a weak breed solely due to heart schematics? Aren’t you to read the schematics before attempting any repairs*? Or shall you toss it for another to make millions off of your lack of attention to technicality/searching for satellite?

  9. Zack says:

    Are there matters other than the emotional exposure causing you to push the “eject” button?

    With a nod to Josh and our favorite equinoid, “normal” young ladies on SA often use mind games mostly, often under a pretext of heart games. That’s a threat different from “love.” Beware of her breaking her side of arrangements…you’ll get used.

  10. Zack says:

    Shes indeed, but not under there? I think Richard covers a lot of ground and in fine style, but it’s not what I think. Just a fun thought.

    SS, look for lessons learned. I think ending a relationship because it develops some emotional content is…counter productive if you can bear the risk and various costs.

    To me, it sounds like you are both new. She may be a bit clingy or trying to feel more security from you. Not a great scenario, but normal and really something to understand… What to offer an SB when you can’t give your heart. (ans: security, trust, self-determination and boundaries, perspective, time, many, many others…try being creative–but with, not AT her 🙂 From her side (presuming a normal young lady), her style for obtaining security is strings around your heart. How to give her security and an uplift, perhaps even (dare I say) romantic feelings…without strings?

    Still more information…about her… How long has she been an SB, as opposed to an escort, GF, or just a desperate girl? Is she strong enough to adapt and change? Not that you owe her that, of course (eh, sorry for the strings on that last bit :P)

    SS, you seem to have a good soul (Psyche). If you are able, please do not default to making relationships disposable. If you can without risking things that matter (you’ll be less than your best if you feel at risk), try to help her understand and progress to what you need in small steps. That’ll be a learning experience. [of course I have my own bias to this cut]


  11. ss1959 says:

    @Josh, I’ve always been completely open about being married, and that I am not looking to replace that relationship. And the SB in question isn’t a kid, nor have we been together all that long.

    We just had/have an amazing connection and it got too deep too fast. So yes, I’ll end it and I’ll take the heat for it.

  12. Jj says:

    Let us see! Gent, Lady….”underwear” alluded to….. shuussshes involved….!!!
    What to think!?!?!!! Nothing here, move along!!

  13. Elaine says:

    Haha, there was not even underwear! *LOL*

    And no guys, this is not what you think!!!

  14. Richard says:

    @Elaine – Shhhh! 😛

  15. Elaine says:

    Saw you in “underwear” remember? 😉

  16. Richard says:

    I’m flattered. But you don’t even know what I look like. I could be 5’6″, 300 lbs, bad personal hygiene, halitosis, body odor, and wear dirty sneakers all the time. Wait, that’s another contributor to the blog! 😉

  17. Elaine says:

    We all want a Richard as SD!! 😉

  18. Kms2014 says:

    And Richard knows good shoes and fashion tips as well…((: xx

  19. Richard says:

    @Elaine – I have expanded my knowledge through intense applied study, often with extreme and dramatic members of your gender. 😉

    @SS – Not sure it makes any difference, but unless you’ve been spending many hours per week with each other for more than six months, she’s not really in “love” with you. More likely limerence, which is biochemical at its root. That does mean she will recover more quickly if you cut things off completely.

    On the other hand, if you’ve been seeing each other several times a week for a year or more, then I could see love developing. But it’s clearly not reciprocated. Were there any signs beforehand?

  20. Elaine says:

    @ Josh,

    Would be interesting to know, but will not change the situation a lot.

    When it happened to me I knew my SD was married (and didn’t had problems with that).
    It was HIM starting to have problems with it, and it looks this is the same case for ss1959.

    Falling in love is never something you DECIDE or decide NOT to do.
    It just happens.
    And then it hurts if it has to finish, for whatever reason.
    And if he is not 100% clear about it, it will hurt even more.

  21. Josh says:


    I am curious. Did she know that you were married and that you had no intention of changing your marital status?

  22. Elaine says:

    @ Richard

    I am impressed by your insight in female Psyche!
    From a female point of view you have given the best possible advice to ss1959…

    Now lets hope he will take his responsability, and prepare himself for a difficult -personal- meeting, with probably a lot of drama.
    That is the price he will have to pay for things having gone deeper as he was prepared for, and the amazing connection.

    Hopefully she is not a young girl who’s heart will be broken, but an experienced SB, knowing the emotional price that sometimes has to get paid for playing around in the Sugarbowl!

    Playing with fire, you can get burned! 😉

  23. Jj says:

    Blatant:bla·tant[ bláyt’nt ]
    offensively conspicuous: obtrusive and conspicuous in an offensive way, often intentionally
    noisy: excessively or offensively noisy

    Choose, but difficult to ignore! Please disregard.

  24. Josh says:


    As I suggested earlier, please do your best to send her back to the sugarbowl amicably. She sounds like a nice SB. So make sure that you show enough generosity. Best of success with the future arrangements. 🙂

  25. ss1959 says:

    Thanks Everyone. I think I tend to be emotionally illiterate so all of your suggestions, comments, and explanations have helped a lot. It takes me *forever* to figure these things out for myself.

    It is absolutely amazing how well we hit it off, but as a married man this just went far deeper than I am prepared to go. So yes, it is going to have to end.

  26. Josh says:


    “Peace and love to you.”

    Same to you and please ignore my posts. 😉

    • SD Guru says:

      “Why is it so hard for male SBs to find SDs?… Or am I just not the desired type?

      The topic of male SB’s has been discussed in the past and in general they face similar challenges as female SB’s. SA provided some statistics in 2012 which are shown below. I’m not sure if there are more recent figures.

      “As for his [SD’s] sugar preferences, there is a 95.6% chance he is heterosexual, 3.8% chance he is homosexual, and 0.6% chance he is bisexual.” That was from this blog post.

      “Of the website’s 1.7 million total members, there are currently over 256,000 gay members… there are now approximately 8 Sugar Baby males for every gay Sugar Daddy.” That was from this press release.

      “My SB said she loves me. Holy crap! I want her to like me, but not to fall in love with me. Now what do I do?”

      You’ve received some pretty good advice but of course what you do is up to you. Just remember when it comes to affairs of the heart it’s usually not logical nor rational. Good luck!

  27. Josh says:


    I am sorry to hear that you are having difficulty finding what you are looking for.

    Wouldn’t you think that this has to do with sexual preferences of the general population?

    That is:

    1. Female SB to SD
    2. Female SB to SM
    3. Male SB to SM
    4. TS/TG SB to SD/SM
    5. Male SB to SD

    #1 would be the bulk of the hookups. I am not sure about the frequency of the rest of the hookups, and I don’t think that any of the SD websites provide such statistics either.

  28. Richard says:

    @SS – If you don’t love her and don’t think you will ever love her, or it’s just an impossible situation for other reasons, best to end it immediately. BTDT. As tempting as it might be to try to pull her back to reality, and go back to a comfortable situation, it ain’t gonna happen.

    I’d also suggest no contact for at least 30 days. That’s the quickest and easiest way for her to get over you. She’ll thank you in the end.

    Depending on her age and maturity level, it may only be “puppy” love but it hurts just as much.

    Under NO circumstances should you “pull back” but stay in contact, or give her any room to doubt her love is not reciprocated. She will definitely assume you have feelings for her that will grow into love with time, and chase you. Just the nature of unrequited love.

    Tough situation. But tougher for her. 🙁

  29. Josh says:


    “and got married”

    That’s what is wrong with Match.com. 😉

  30. Kms2014 says:

    I’ve never used Match.com but what is wrong with match.com, out of curiosity? I knew a couple that met on there awhile back and got married, so I will assume it isn’t so bad…

  31. Jj says:

    @Elaine And you wrote “amiably” as well

  32. Josh says:


    I wrote “amicably” and you said the same in many words.

    However, both of us agree that this arrangement is toast.

    I am more concerned about her staying in the sugarbowl. This is so that she may find her next SD who appreciates her love, and she gets a longer-term hopefully financially loaded lover/bf.

    If he does it wrongly she may end up in Match.com instead. And that’s not a good thing. 😉

  33. Jj says:

    Elaine, Kms, Zack very good and Josh, Oh Joshy, plse stop pushing buttons you not understand, ok. Peace and love to you. Just say’n and no more.

  34. KatPaw says:

    Happy Friday sugars!! Purrrrr

  35. Elaine says:

    “And it’s hard to hate someone once you understand them” ……

  36. Zack says:

    @ Josh: Fast learner. Less sarcastic and less insecurity. Kinda difficult to get off adversarial defensiveness, but it shows. Hate (resentment) is an easy option; a mature pot should be able to see those points coming and talk about them before they hurt. Well, at least SS isn’t being cheated, 🙂

  37. Josh says:

    I had initially written a different response to the question above but decided not to post it. I am glad that you brought the hate part and not me. 😉

  38. Kms2014 says:

    @Elaine…it is much like the quote on changing, I posted yesterday…

    “Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.”

    –Arnold Bennett

    Now, their relationship has changed, due to her profession of love(maybe, she is new to being an SB, and there might be the possibility that she is just telling him what she ‘thinks’ he wants to hear from his SB?).

    I agree that him being honest about preferred boundaries in the relationship is a preferred method by women…even, if it stings, at first, at least he is being upfront and direct(honest), which is what an SD/SB relationship should be in the first place.

  39. Elaine says:

    “Pull back amicably so that either she goes back to liking or comes back to the sugarbowl with unhurt feelings”

    Is a tipical male way of reacting that will NOT be understood by women!!
    When she feels you are pulling back she will not understand and will desperately try to keep you close.
    No way she will accept it like that and will go back to liking! Never! Not a woman!
    She will think you are a coward and will end up hating you!
    You will break her hart and hurt and damage her even more if you follow this strategy”

    Be a man about it, tell her the truth and don’t leave space for misunderstandings!
    It will be unpleasant for you, but doesn’t she deserves it?

  40. Elaine says:


    No Josh, for a woman in love ” nothing” will be transformed in “something”, and that is not receipe for explosive mindfuck, but for terrible heartache.

  41. Elaine says:

    And yes, I have been there and done it …..

    Mutual feelings, but him being married.
    Only because we had very good and clear communication and because of his courage to face the situation, we have managed to get out of it with less damage possible.

    And we are still friends now.

  42. Josh says:


    “We women tend to fill things in for you guys and we seek something behind EVERY word or act.”

    Nothing usually means NOTHING. Filling nothing with something is recipe for explosive mind fuck. 😉

  43. Elaine says:

    @ ss1959

    Be honest about your feelings towards her.
    A painfull truth is better as a gentle lie…
    We SB’s know the risk of the game, and will coop with it, even if it hurts.
    But we expect you to be clear and not try to get out of it as a coward, the easy way out.
    We need an explanation to be able to close the book.
    And no, that will not always be easy for you.

    If this love is not mutual, you are going to hurt her, no matter what you do, but be respectfull and CLEAR!!
    Don’t leave ANY space for doubts about your feelings towards her.
    We women tend to fill things in for you guys and we seek something behind EVERY word or act.
    So tell her the truth , honest and respectfull.

    And end it, you will hurt her even more if you continue the arrangement.

  44. Zack says:

    “Pulling back” may be a source of resentment, but it can be a useful mindgame if you want to see how desperate she becomes. 😛

    Sorry Josh…:) We need more information. heh. How long together, SS? (good to see you again, btw)

  45. Josh says:


    An SB falling in love is a good catch for a different SD who is looking for more than just liking.

    Pull back amicably so that either she goes back to liking or comes back to the sugarbowl with unhurt feelings. No mind games please.

    If you broke her heart then she may disappear from this space and that would not be a good thing for any of us SDs.

  46. Zack says:

    Take care of her, be respectful and happy. Then keep to schedules and locations to maintain physical distance when it’s not “together” time.

    You can accept love, but keep the good and pull out the practical undesirable pieces…time and headspace entanglements. The heart will settle a bit with time…unless it is being used to influence you?

    If there are real problems, introduce a confusing factor like another SB or SD to create insecurity and options… Good way to diminish nascent infatuation.

    If any Blogies go to the Face-to-Face, can we get reports?

    www youtube.com/watch?v=iHNHECCec8Y

    Good Friday, hoppy Easter…it’ll probably be culturally significant in the Ukraine, anyway 😛

  47. ss1959 says:

    My SB said she loves me. Holy crap! I want her to like me, but not to fall in love with me. Now what do I do?

  48. Levi says:

    Why is it so hard for male SBs to find SDs? I have been on this site for about 14 months and I’ve had only one seriously fling which ended because he was 54 going on 22, trying to find himself, understandably. The others just want pictures and I am just not the guy that they desire. Is there something that I need to do or do differently? Or am I just not the desired type?

  49. Josh says:


    “Question? Why do designers think that middle class women don’t have a sense of style? Discuss.”

    1. For many people money spent = quality.

    2. Someone has to pay for supermodels to promote the high priced fashion items.

    3. As ZiggyGMasque suggested above outfits, such as, Charlotte Russe do sell great style at affordable price.

    4. However, as the price goes up, the availability of the same piece of fashion goes down, which is something women seem to prefer.

    5. Etc., etc.

  50. Josh says:

    24hoursofhappy dot com

    So far my favorite videos are at:

    10:16 AM
    10:52 AM
    10:58 AM
    11:16 AM
    11:20 AM
    12:04 PM
    12:36 PM
    1:16 PM
    1:28 PM

    More later. 🙂

  51. Misce says:

    Thanks for checking my profile, I’ll reach out to you when I get your email address. You are a sweetheart!

    @SD Guru, can I have Josh’s email address? Thanks!

  52. Zack says:

    Josh, you could set up a spam email for your communication; perhaps utahjoshy? 😉

  53. Josh says:


    Your pictures and profile look fine to me. Your profile is very friendly and from the heart, which is a good thing. However, if you are getting less than expected results then I can recommend certain changes to try out.

    SD Guru, please provide my email address to Misce. When you contact me through email, I will send you my profile edits and suggestions for your consideration.

  54. Josh says:


    I will check it out later tonight. 😉

  55. Zack says:

    (Sorry about that, I was having trouble for a bit)

  56. Misce says:

    @Josh @flyR
    2046440 is my profile number. I think the pictures are fine, they show what I look like and are appropriate.

    Take a look when you can, please. Let me know.

    Feel free to ask for my email address to the moderator.

    Thanks, guys!

  57. KatPaw says:

    @Beach Girl~ ahh sweetie I went through a period of not being all that happy or optimistic was in a dark place for a bit.. But I saw the sun again so to say…. So feeling more like the same old kitty. Purrrrrr

  58. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    Kat~ Maybe it’s because I don’t come here often, but you always seen happy to me! 😀

  59. KatPaw says:

    Hun not him lol

  60. KatPaw says:

    @flyr thanks him! Glad to be back to high spirits and my happy positive self 😉

  61. flyR says:

    @Richard “My preference is a strong, assertive, ambitious and successful woman who challenges me intellectually but who is submissive sexually. Not as unusual as you might think. ”

    I’m in total agreement regarding a preference for strong, smart, assertive and intellectually stimulating. Spending time with someone from another universe is fun and full of surprises and adventures.

    Submissive assertive anywhere inbetween it’s all good as long as there is enthusiasm and shared pleasure. For the SB I think it’s important for the long run to really focus on an SD whom you are comfortable with and who enjoys pleasing you.

  62. flyR says:


    Would be happy to look at profile and comment. You can post number here or ask moderator for my em.

    @katpaw – good to see you back to high spirits

  63. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    PI~ I don’t know from a SD point of view but it seems to me that you are saying that most Americans are jaded in a way
    I’m not sure you are right about that, I think being a SB/Mistress is not a common concept in the States, but it’s becoming more popular or this site wouldn’t work… but who is to say who makes the best SBs?
    SBs that understand an arrangement? That understand boundaries? that get the no drama? A SB or mistress is supposed to be for you, not anyone else. You may have different ideas, than others, in your wants and needs.
    Communication is key to making arrangements work.
    I am not sure that it’s all the SBs fault either… SD aren’t all sunshine and rainbow either 😀 lol It’s a 2 way street here…My best SD might not be someone idea of a good SD, but for me it was great! Everybody want something different. Maybe , yes, there are types that SD like better than others, it’s ok, there is someone for everyone! I do wish I could be younger sometimes, but… I know I am not everyone cup of java, but I’m me… not always at my best on the blog, but still me. I have to be myself , everyone else is taken 😀 lol

  64. Josh says:


    The kind of men you attract depends on the pictures you have posted and the contents of your profile.

    I’d be happy to look at your profile to make recommendations.

  65. SunShineSD says:

    Thanks, Kat. Hope you are doing well too. I was busy with tax preparation the last few weeks. It’s the annual ritual. LOL.

  66. KatPaw says:

    @Sunshine Good to see you hope you’re doing well. 🙂

  67. HapaSB says:

    I don’t come into contact with very many Europeans from where I am located so I can’t really say much about their culture. I do agree in the US, the upper-class is more open to SD and SB relationships – In being able to afford it of course and being very respectful about it too. When I was out with my SD, his friends and clients were very friendly, respectful of his relationship choice and did not look down upon me for being a much younger woman.

  68. SunShineSD says:


    Both Asian and European societies are more open to relationships between two people with significant age differences. In the US, the upper-class is also more open to the idea. It’s rare among the lower class simply because nobody there can afford it. Its a little like the chauffeur driver or house cleaning service. They are no big deal in Europe, Asia or US upper to upper middle class society (and not expensive either), but rare and therefore frowned upon in the lower to lower-middle class Americana.

  69. KatPaw says:

    @Richard 😉 purrrrrrrrrr

  70. HapaSB says:

    I am of Caucasian and Asian descent born and raised in America. Being a SB is common in Asian countries as many Americans may view it in a negative way. Seeing an older man with a younger woman is not out of the ordinary in Asian culture but can be frowned upon by Americans. However unlike my Asian counterparts in the East, I do not plan on making a career out of being a SB. I enjoy being a SB because it has enriched my life. A SD told me it takes a strong willed woman to want to become a SB. Our arrangement worked out as he enjoyed helping me with my goals and easing the way for me to be successful in life. Being Hapa I am a mix of both cultures, open-minded and ambitious!

  71. Richard says:

    @Kat – Yes, sexy girl…like that. 🙂

  72. KatPaw says:

    Hmmm see I’m very strong headed lady but nothing turns me on more then a man being able to make me submissive…. Purrrrrr

  73. Richard says:

    Interesting perspective. I’ve “sampled the charms” as PI so coyly put it of all of those nationalities plus a few more. I’ve had the pleasure of traveling internationally extensively and in my younger days was less discerning than I am now. 😉

    I discovered a long time ago that there was more difference between individual women than there was between groups or nationalities of women. That is, you may stereotype “Asian women” or “American women” in certain characteristics, but there is still a vast variation between women raised in the same culture.

    My first wife was raised by her Asian mother in a ghetto (no nice way to put it) but then attended an elite Ivy League university. Any attempt to characterize her by those three environments would have failed, as she had her own unique personality and strengths and weaknesses.

    Similarly, I’ve encountered women from cultures where females are traditionally subservient who are just the opposite, especially in private.

    My preference is a strong, assertive, ambitious and successful woman who challenges me intellectually but who is submissive sexually. Not as unusual as you might think. Flyr? 🙂

  74. Kms2014 says:

    “Which is why, I hate to say this, but – US/American women (born & raised in the USA) do not make good candidates. Because they feel it is beneath them – to have a man be in charge. They want to compete, be equal. American men are being emasculated …. sigh.”

    This is so interesting you mention this…I prefer men from male dominant cultures, or European(or American men that have travelled extensively outside of the US, or have a more ‘open minded’ viewpoint on things)as they make better arrangements, my opinion….One might think it is because they tend to view women as ‘the weaker sex’, but have found it to be quite the opposite (: There is actually more respect most times. An open mind and exposure to other cultures makes someone so much more interesting, in my opinion….

  75. PIWolf says:

    @SD Guru,

    They were all very shot term affairs. Sometimes, a one-time affair. Occassionally, an opportunity arises – where I can sample a nationality. I have not had many long term liaisons in my life. And I am in my 50s, so there is salt on my hair 😆

  76. PIWolf says:

    @SD Guru,

    These are just my thoughts …. Regarding the screening and preparation on the high end arrangements, it seems to me that Potential Beneficiaries are invited to these Get-Togethers by the current mistresses, themselves. I get the impression that the initial vetting is done by the current mistresses, as to who among their acquaintances (or friends) are safe and discreet enough to become a mistress. That means they know enough about the background and personality of the POTs. Miss A. was asked by her friend(s) if she was interested in being in An Arrangement, even before an invitation to the Get-Together was offered. Although Miss A. did say that she was not seeking an arrangement, she accepted an invitation just to see what it is like, and to see the class of men the Benefactors belong to.

    Then several personal dates are probably when both parties get a feel of how well their chemistry is, before a final arrangement is completed. I get the feeling that if it does not work out, the Potential Benefactor will be providing a GIFT to the woman, as a Gentlemanly Gesture. What might not be, at this moment – could change in the future – on both sides. It is also possible that the woman could introduce other women to the Potential Benefactor.

    Based on Miss A.’s remarks, I get the impression that there could be 25-40 Benefactors in the circle that she had a glimpse of. Most of these Affluent Gentlemen are not based in Chicago, but use it as a base of their R&R, while they conduct their business dealings here.

    Regarding nationalities that make a better SB or mistress. My observations indicate that cultures which are Male-Dominated or where women being mistresses are not unusual, tend to have better candidates. This means Asians, Europeans (both Eastern and Western) excluding Nordic countries make good candidates. It is a mindset kind of thing. A woman who does not feel that she is prostituting herself, who does not feel she is inferior to a man, who can accept that she is willing to have a Lover (be in command of the relationship) and take care of her financially – is a better potential SB or mistress.

    I have had interactions with some European women, and they have less sexual hang-ups than American women. And I get the impression that they would not be offended, if one was to offer “A Formal Arrangement” with them, as it seems they already do that – in their relationships with their boyfriends.

    Which is why, I hate to say this, but – US/American women (born & raised in the USA) do not make good candidates. Because they feel it is beneath them – to have a man be in charge. They want to compete, be equal. American men are being emasculated …. sigh.

    Let me end this post, with this saying (from The East): GOD did not make women from a man’s head, to compete with him in knowledge. GOD did not make women from a man’s hand, for him to use. GOD did not make women from a man’s feet, for him to step on. GOD made women from a man’s rib – because that is where she belongs – Close to his heart, And to be LOVED !!!

  77. Kms2014 says:

    @PIWolf, I see 😉 I asked because I used to have a bit of an Asian fetish…My ex fiancée, from years ago, was half Caucasian, 1/4 Japanese and 1/4 Korean…he was really big and tall and reminded me a bit of Keanu Reeves or Chris Klein(love mixed ethnicities…they usually turn out quite nicely for men and women!) and a serious real life boyfriend before him was 100% Taiwanese. Now, I just prefer most men who are not originally from the US, or have travelled extensively outside the US, due to various reasons. I have heard about some of these high end clubs or mistresses, in Hong Kong, where girls are at the businessman’s beck and call…and the girls are compensated handsomely. Had a friend in UK, who used to model, and her husband was Asian..he was often in Hong Kong and had a mistress there.

  78. PIWolf says:

    Thanks for the emoticons. It really comes in handy when writing a post.


    I am of Chinese descent. Born and raised in the Far East, which uses American English, for education. Speak 3 languages as my mother tongues. Think in 3 cultural modes simultaneously (West = Straight, Chinese/East = Circular, Islander/Brown = Meandering) 😀

    I do not have an Asian woman fetish, as I enjoy Caucasians and Dark Coloured beautiful women, equally. Let’s just say, I had the pleasure the sample the charms from these nationalities: Filipina, Thai, Taiwanese, Mainland Chinese, Vietnamese, Laos, Korean, Japanese, Singaporean, American (White and Black), Canadian, Mexican, Brazilian. 😛

    The tilt towards asian women is caused by where I grew up, and the opportunities for fun and games – when I vacation to the Far East to visit family and Go Paint the town red. 😛

    • SD Guru says:

      “The 5-year $500,000 liaisons I described are not in The Far East. They are right here in the USA.”

      Thanks for the clarification, that made what you described even more interesting! From what you know, what kind of screening and preparation go into this kind of arrangement prior to both sides commit to it? After all, the amount of time and money involved obviously is not trivial. What’s your best guess as to the number of such “liaisons” currently in existence in the Windy City?

      “When I think about Sugar Baby, it is more of a short term interlude (less than a year). When I think of affairs that lasts a year or more, it is about a full time time mistress / lover / girlfriend.”

      That’s an interesting way to look at it. For me the length of relationship is not the differentiating factor. It’s the nature of the relationship that makes the difference.

      “Question – How do I use Emoticons here?”

      Google “wordpress smileys”.

      “I had the pleasure the sample the charms from these nationalities:”

      That’s an impressive list!! Throw in eastern Europeans and you’ve got the world covered. If they were all long term mistresses then you’d be a very old man by now! :mrgreen:
      In your opinion is there a certain nationality that makes a better SB or mistress?

  79. Richard says:

    I think the normal ones work…but now there will be a flurry of “test” messages. ‘; )’ = 😉 ‘: )’ = 🙂 ‘: P’ = 😛 etc

  80. Kms2014 says:

    That is for the ‘devil’ sign, but does not work here, apparently…

    PIWolf…not sure if you are an Asian male, but get the feeling you might have an Asian woman fetish 😉 hehe

  81. FatBastardSD says:

    “From Eve and the fruits in the garden to the blue rug of the Clinton oval office, the power of a woman to divert a man’s sense of judgement borders on the supernatural.”

    You have no clue about anything do you? It has nothing to due with a woman diverting anything. You should get this guy to teach your MBA courses…


  82. Kms2014 says:

    @PIWolf…I do not know how to make all of them…but can do the wink thing. It is the ; ) but without the space.

  83. PIWolf says:


    A very good point !!! An SB should not resent the SD, but rather the circumstances that made her decide to become an SB. The choice is always hers, and involves a price, just like the rest of us – How much personal time and effort are we willing to expend, to gain the item we want?

    Just like you – I hate paying taxes on top of fees & surcharges, levied by the monopolies (phone, poewer, gas, etc) but have no choice, since life would really suck without these essentials.

  84. Kms2014 says:

    And then, there are those that enjoy pushing other’s buttons, hehehe 😉

  85. Kms2014 says:

    Hehe, have known some very successful tech guys who couldn’t spell or write well to save their lives…so, would have to disagree somewhat with that 😉

  86. Josh says:


    Depending on the nuances of the writing style, one’s information is more believable than the other’s. 😉

  87. PIWolf says:


    Thanks. I enjoy reading all the posts and interactions here.It shows LIFE !!!


    Short answer = YES. I would spend that kind of money (when I can afford to, hahaha) on a woman who is not weel versed in the Erotic Arts (so to speak). I would enjoy the teaching process, as long she is the kind of woman who is willing to learn.

    As for “How To Please a Man”, it is not solely the bedroom. It should be an attractive personality and a WILLINGNESS to enjoy learning and sharing certain experiences with me – which is more important, than just mere looks. Of course, there has to be a minimum level of looks and body proportion. Fat is a definite turn off (hahaha).

    Question – How do I use Emoticons here?

    Some more tales on the middle of the road costs. I had concersations with Chinese women (in their mid 20s to early 30s) who are working in the Service Industry (waitress, hair stylists, spa massage, nail technicians, etc.) and some of them (who are quite pretty) are on the lookout for a Benefactor who can support them full time, who they want tho treat as a Boyfriend/Husband, in the arrangement. They indicated that their desired monthly allowance be at the $3,500 – $4,000 per month level. I get the feeling that they just want to be a full time lover, and not have to work. This is also in a big city, in the Midwest, USA.

  88. Misce says:

    What a marvelous world the sugar bowl can be!
    Thank you, everyone! I make sure to always stop by and read your comments since I find them entertaining and educational.
    I’ve been lurking for a while but I decided to make a comment today.
    What we wear to a first date is very important to me, since that can tell you a lot about who I am and it’s a way to let your personality shine through.
    I’m a big fan of dresses and pumps so that’s usually my choice but it all depends on the venue, the time of the day, the weather and many other things. Make sure that you feel fabulous and it will come through. Also, always wear a smile, that’s the best accessory.

    Now that I replied to the topic at hand, I’d like to ask for advice. I’m fairly new to this world but I find it fascinating. The problem is, I seem to attract fickle and inexperienced men and I’m hoping to change that with your help.

    If anyone has a minute to spare and would like to read my profile, I’d appreciate it.

    Thanks everyone! Be good.

  89. flyR says:

    @elaine “Arrangements are never an equal proposition…”

    Unequal in that they are not about trading five pennies for a nickle. But what makes relationships (business, personal, among nations) is that for each party the “cost” of what they give is less than the value of what they receive. As you have eloquently noted there’s much more to the relationship than just money and sex ( or at least there should be).

    From Eve and the fruits in the garden to the blue rug of the Clinton oval office, the power of a woman to divert a man’s sense of judgement borders on the supernatural.

    If the SB resents being in the relationship then she should either leave or understand that her anger should not be directed at the SD, bur rather at whatever put her in the position where she feels she needs to do something she does not want to do.

    I resent and feel used when I pay my utility, telephone, cable and internet bills. Not only am I dealing with monopolies protected by the government but I am forced to pay an additional tax of 10%-40% to provide subsidized services to many who work for cash and claim benefits or are simply too lazy to work. But I pay the bills because the service is more valuable to me than what I pay and the angst it causes.

    As an older brother I would advise a sister to write down all the things an older man might be or do to please or help her and then rate her potentials on that scale and wait for the right one. Not the perfect one but a right one.

    @ Eloquence – very eloquent

  90. Kms2014 says:

    Is this a new Josh? Thought the old Josh would say such writings were ‘fiction’, since allowance amounts are so high, in certain circumstances 😉

  91. Josh says:

    @PIWolf and Elaine

    I believe that the two of you should be writing and the rest should be reading; with on-the-ground data from SD Guru from time to time.

    It’s a pleasure to read what the sugar space aught to be, along with real life data.

    Please keep it up as time permits.

  92. Elaine says:

    @ PIWolf

    “As a man, I always felt and thought that it is encumbent upon me to know – How to make love, with a woman. If my mistress / lover does not have the sexual skills, it is not a negative point – it is a chance for me to share and teach her, while we enjoy all the practice (hahaha) to get it right.”

    Completely agree in RL affairs, but a mistress not knowing or willing to please?!
    Thereby I was not talking about MISSING sexual skills…
    I was merely talking about the entitled GPS suffering SB, thinking her stunning presence or her youth is all it needs to make an irresistible mistress…

    Would you really spend 5.000 to 10.000 a month to a girl that needs to be tought how to please a man?

    For a while I have been very attracted to younger men, (little midlife crisis! 🙂 ) but soon I got tired of their selfishness and heaving to teach them!
    Let go if on top I would also have to pay for their “services”…. 🙁

  93. Kms2014 says:

    What really nice and informative posts from Wolf and Elaine (: Thanks so much for your well-written posts and insights ((:

  94. PIWolf says:


    You are a perfect example of what I would say is how a mistress / lover / girlfriend should be. Your views are interesting and fun to read. It brings a smile to my face.

    As a man, I always felt and thought that it is encumbent upon me to know – How to make love, with a woman. If my mistress / lover does not have the sexual skills, it is not a negative point – it is a chance for me to share and teach her, while we enjoy all the practice (hahaha) to get it right.

    I feel that a man, who is lazy in bed – will rarely enjoy a true toe-curling episode of great sex with a woman. And women, who are 30s or older, tend to WANT TO enjoy lovemaking, as much as I do.

  95. Elaine says:

    @ PIWolf

    Arrangements are never an equal proposition…

  96. PIWolf says:

    I am a single man. Never been married (came close, once). I respect the institution of marriage. My father and my mother were the right one, for each other. And they raised us, 3 kids, to know what is right.

  97. PIWolf says:

    @SD Guru,

    The 5-year $500,000 liaisons I described are not in The Far East. They are right here in the USA. To be exact, the Windy City of Chicago (LOL). These rich men are operating on a level that is not The Norm, for the USA. I have seen that at a high enough monetary level, the norm seems to be similar whether it be The Far East or The USA.


    Glad you enjoy reading my posts. The truth is the man who is making an arrangement – does not think of it being an equal proposition. It is always – I am the Benefactor, I am in-charge, I am the boss, I call the tune. I am financing my lifestyle, you (Mistress/SB) accept it and agree to keep me happy – because of your own personal reasons (primarily financial gain). Of course, I treat you well. I want to enjoy your company and your intimate charms! I also want convenience, discretion, and safety (health wise).

    These are my thoughts, as a future Benefactor: When I think about Sugar Baby, it is more of a short term interlude (less than a year). When I think of affairs that lasts a year or more, it is about a full time time mistress / lover / girlfriend. There are some women that I will only have a short term affair with – because of their personality …. And some that are longer term.

  98. Elaine says:

    @ Josh and Katpaw

    Thanks, but the original post was from PIwolf.
    Just gave my 2 cents from the mistress point of view. 🙂

    And would like to add this:
    You can be drop dead gorgious (btw which I don’t think I am) but it is the man that stretch himselve on the bed waiting for the amazing things to come!
    DON’T! I repeat DON’T! think these kind of mistresses get paid these kind of allowances only because of their Stunning Presence!

    If you think the sole presence of your G.P. will do the trick, you are wrong and will never be able to fascinate such SD for an extended period!

    You need the sexual skills of Jenna Jameson.
    The intelligence of Sharon Stone.
    The patience of Job.
    The allure of Coco Chanel.
    The appeal of Scheherazade
    The beauty of….? Hard to say, because not the most important and very personal!

    And if you think you cannot be all of this, remember:
    “Fake it till you make it” 😉

    Last but not least:
    Be discreet, always! You are his little secret, never forget that!
    Because no, being married is not only HIS problem, if his wife FINDS out, you ARE out!
    So if necessary even protect him against himself.

    All sounds like hard work, huh? 😉

    Well…. it is! That’s why allowances are high! 🙂

  99. Eloquence says:

    For my sanity’s sake..after this comment, i will keep myself from posting..

    @ Elaine and @ Katpaw and the other ladies who read in silence…Chivalry is not dead as many ladies will share. My experience was yesterday. I was on an elevator and started to get off on the wrong floor of a building I. A little man of 75-90 (who looked well for his age and his pants belted high to his breastplate carriage and suit jacket beamed bright eyed at me as a peered out the elevator doors feeling lost and combobulated. He chuckled and beamed at me like a schoolboy and I blushed feeling adored by his smile as I toppeld back to stand waiting for the next floor.
    We exited the elevator and both stood looking at the other (as If this sweet tempered stranger knew he had an appointment with me by God. I blurted out a comment from the silence and as days of old, the gentleman opened his arms in the air and leaned his left shoulder forward for me to sob on and he held me with an embrace of courtious chivalry that only a man of his era knew was proper and waited till I stopped sobbing to open the door to my destination to introduce me as I walked in because he apparently was no stranger at all to the building or its accompaniment.

    Elaine is right in her comments and how I love her insight and Katpaws and @ Alice where the KFC man could be daddy warbucks in disguise..its the temperament that alludes the love of ages regardless of the surrounding chaos.

    Sooo..with that said…my tribute is to the ladies of the blog and to the ladies looking for your dress or in your jeans waiting for a cup of coffee in line, the man who is your “Daddy” will have the capacity to say the following irrigardless of the time you have to spend with one another..compliments of John Legends song: “You and I” .. “You & I (Nobody In The World)”

    You fix your make up, just so Guess you don’t know, that your beautiful Try on every dress that you own You were fine in my eyes, a half hour ago

    If your mirror won’t make it any clearer I’ll Be the one to let you know

    Out of all the girls You my one and only girl Ain’t nobody in the world tonight

    All of the stars, you make them shine like they were ours Ain’t nobody in the world but you and I You and I Ain’t nobody in the world but you and I

    You stop the room when we walk in Spotlights on everybody staring Tell all of these boys, they wasting their time Stop standing in line, cause your all mine

    And this evening I, won’t let the feeling die I never wanna leave your side

    Out of all the girls You my one and only girl Ain’t nobody in the world tonight

    All of the stars you make them shine like they were ours Ain’t nobody in the world but you and I You and I Ain’t nobody in the world

    You keep wondering if you’re what I’m wanting You don’t even have to try

    You don’t have to try Don’t try Don’t try You don’t have to try

    Out of all the girls You my one and only girl Ain’t nobody in the world tonight

    All of the stars, they don’t shine brighter than you are Ain’t nobody in the world but you and I You and I You and I Nobody in the world tonight Ain’t nobody in the world but you and I

  100. KatPaw says:

    @Elaine love your posts and insights!

  101. Josh says:


    Great post. Thanks. 🙂

  102. Elaine says:

    @ PIWolf

    Thanks a lot for sharing this explanation on the blog.
    Coming from an SD!
    It makes me feel less of an alien… 😉

    This is one of the other existing realities in “Sugar”!
    I have often mentioned this myself, trying to make another sound in the general (mainly US related) noise.

    With some others we have been discussing the existance of this small -but realistic- niche here on SA too.
    High class, exclusive mistresses for very wealthy high class benefactors.
    The words “SB” and “SD” are not even appropriate in this case.

    I personally think this is not very common practice in the US, according to the focus in discussions on:
    Lack of trust between the two parties.
    How to make sure SB will show up to meeting by paying her per visit (Afterwards!).
    Panties hitting the floor and sugar having to flow before or after…
    First meets at Starbucks in jeans etc…
    Guys bragging on having a “hot girl” every night for a price lower as an escort.

    An important and very busy and wealthy man really wants to worry about this??

    My experience is no he doesn’t!

    -He just wants to count on his mistress to be there for him, whenever he wants, wherever he wants. Distance is no issue, he flies her in.
    -Send her 100 messages if he feels to, and expecting 101 immediate answers.
    -He wants her waiting in his hotel, all dressed up untill he has done his business and has some time for her, without worrying about finding a claiming or complaining girl.
    -Age is not such a factor, it can be an advantage, as it comes with the self confidence and experience to keep her interesting for him on long term.

    I am not even talking about running the risk to get blackmailed by an hysterical idiot!

    And yes, they are willing to pay a proper price for this tranquility and convenience!

    Pity, the lack of interest from SA’s part to cover that gap, focussing their marketing on desperate, young students.

  103. Eloquence says:

    We often take who we are for granted—as if our beliefs and behaviors are fixed in stone. The truth is that we are creatures constantly in the making. We either move forward in our development, or backwards. Staying still is the same as going backwards. Why? Because the movement of time never holds still. We either progress with it, or are left behind.

  104. Eloquence says:

    Gone are the days of girdles, slips and pantyhose for “dress to impress” but medieval chivalry still exsists for both sexes, not on what you wear but for who you are. Chivalry makes each of us stop to smell each other as a rose or purrr and pounce as if each of you are catnip…. Why stop to smell the rose if the scent can’t drive you crazy with desire regardless if the rose is growing wild in ripped jeans? Or harnessed in a girdle so tight she can’t breathe? Shouldn’t it be based on personality/emotion?
    Besides gentleman….if you don’t like her outfit…take her to the closest boutique before dinner and/or ship her size to her before the dinner date…aren’t you the Daddy who wants your sugar in every cup (per say)
    Just throwing this out there….and the next paragraph is copied from “international medieval chivalry” at the bottom…

  105. KatPaw says:

    @JJ meow only a little purrrrrring today… This kitty’s ready to pounce! Hehehe

  106. Josh says:

    Check out 24hoursofhappy dot com if you have not already. 😉

  107. Josh says:

    I use Hushed. It sucks sometimes due to delayed transmission but for the most part it works. The voice quality is not great but since I use text 98% of the time, I am fine with the voice quality.

    • SD Guru says:

      “What are you doing for secure calling and texting?”

      I use Pinger. I’m not sure what 3rd party apps you use with GV, but for basic texting and calling Pinger works fine.

      “It seems that the SD offers a 5-year liaison, with allowances at $100,000 to $120,000 per year. Which translates to $8,000 to $10,000 per month.”

      Thanks for sharing a tale from the Far East. What you described certainly is not the norm in the US. Five years is a very long time to commit to a relationship for both sides, not to mention when a large amount of money is involved. A lot of things can happen in 5 years and it doesn’t make sense to me why both SD and SB’s would subject themselves to such a commitment.

      “Just read an interesting post in Craigslist (Chicago) Creative Services section. It is a very well written piece by a POT SB. Just want to share it”

      Given that it’s posted in the Creative Services section of CL, it reads more like she’s offering a platonic service and not a sugar relationship.


      Re: The blog topic

      The topic of how SB’s should dress is always a popular one, especially when it comes to a first meet with a pot SD. Here’s what I wrote about “What to wear on a first date“.

  108. Jj says:

    Hell Kat ……..How’s the ppp…………..uuuurrrring!!!

  109. DarkHorseSD says:

    Google voice has been a staple of secure communication for me and many others for several years. On May 15, third party app support is being terminated. Third party apps are convenient and superior to google’s own app for certain things.

    Without the third party app I use, my use of google voice will become far less convenient, perhaps even cumbersome and risky.

    What are you doing for secure calling and texting?

  110. Josh says:


    Whatever is mutually beneficial and agreeable should work I guess.

  111. KatPaw says:

    Helllllooooooooooo out in sugarrrrrrrrrrrrrland!

  112. PIWolf says:

    Tales about the Sugar Bowl in the USA

    In some countries in the Far East, we use the term(s) – Garaged, or Wrapped Up – to refer to an arrangement where a woman agrees to be the Full Time Exclusive Mistress/Lover (SB) of the Patron (SD) in return for an agreed upon financial arrangement. The SB is at the exclusive beck and call of the SD. The Patron (SD) could have more than one SB at the same time.

    Several years ago, I had a romantic liaison with an oriental woman, in her early 40s. She was petite, decent in looks, and a very nice slim body. Overall, attractive and looks like someone in her 30s. She has a headstrong temperament, and has a tendency to fly off the handle when provoked. It lasted about 6 months and ended when she indicated a non-interest to continue. We are still on friendly terms. I shall refer to her as Miss A.

    During our conversations, she would tell me about some of her lady friends – who are Full Time Mistresses of very wealthy men, and their arrangements. It seems that the SD offers a 5-year liaison, with allowances at $100,000 to $120,000 per year. Which translates to $8,000 to $10,000 per month. From what was said to me, it looks like Housing – is not part of the package. Note that the SDs and SBs comprise of both Orientals and Caucasians.

    These SBs are always required to be available whenever the SD requires. They often accompany the men on out-of-town trips, or social gatherings among these business men – where only the men and their mistresses are present. It seems that these men are always on the lookout for addition SBs, from among female friends of these SBs. It is also apparent that the SDs live in a different city than their SBs.

    Miss A. has attended one or two of these gatherings, and said that she has been politely asked if she would be interested in entering into An Arrangement. Miss A. declined and she told me – I cannot stand to be at someone’s beck and call. I totally understand, since her personality is that of an independent type that wants to do what she wants, and don’t like others telling her to.

    Miss A. also alluded that she is impressed with some of these SBs, as they are now into their second or third 5-Year arrangements – albeit with a different Patron, each time. These SBs are all very attractive and range from mid-20s to mid-40s.

    After the end of our affair, some common friends ours mentioned that Miss A. had mused that she would accept an arrangement at the $5,000/month allowance. Our friends felt she was not worth that, due to her age and looks. My own thoughts were that – an arrangement with her would still be exclusive to one man, but likely 2-3 pre-scheduled days per week – as she would treat it like a job, and have all her other days to herself. This would fit her personality quite well.

    Other thoughts that ran through my head, on the $8-$10k per month, for 5 years:

    *The SD is setting a fixed amount he wants to spend, for a certain period of time.
    *While the amount is high, it is not obscene and stupid for the SD.
    *The 5-year period is good for the SB, as it is long enough for her to save and make long term plans.
    *I always felt that 3-5 years is optimal for both SD and SB.
    *The $8-$10k per month is optimal for an affair of 12 months or more, at the high end.

  113. PIWolf says:


    If you wish to critique the CL post, go right ahead. I just wanted to share what I felt was a well written post, by a potential SB, in CL of all places !!!

  114. KatPaw says:

    @josh Idk not this kitty. I’m no model lol never would want to be either.. Food is way to yummy!

  115. Josh says:

    Rhetorical question: What percentage of women believe that they could be a model, only if…?

  116. KatPaw says:

    Meow morning sugarrrrs

  117. Moe EL says:

    I wondered about the 18-20 y/o putting social drinking or enjoying a nice “bottle of wine in the evening”. At first I was just thought of it as fantasy play but then thought about it, it’s probably the SB being honest (Cause i had a drink or two prior to 21). I just rather not get involved in “underage drinking” situation.

  118. aliceS says:

    Morning all 🙂 what is the difference between light drinker and heavy drinker on sa? Almost all say they are occasionally* light drinking, since I don’t drink, I’d like to know which criteria need to be use to define, if someone crossed

  119. Josh says:

    Google this: Most States in U.S. Permit Drinking Under the Age of 21 (the “Legal” Drinking Age)

  120. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Hope all is well.

    Is 21 the legal drinking age of all states or do some have 18? I’m just curious…

  121. Josh says:

    No one should encourage lying, but lying by an 18+ is his/her own responsibility.

  122. Zack says:

    Would it be better if they lied?

    www youtube.com/watch?v=Rk16glWoMCk
    (Rhett Butler clip)

  123. Richard says:

    They drink socially when they go on holiday to Mexico or Europe with their SDs. Just one more reason I prefer older SBs. 🙂

  124. Josh says:

    Please don’t drop the R-bomb.

  125. SouthernSB says:

    Or maybe the under 21 SB could just take some responsibility for themselves and just say they are non-drinkers.

  126. Josh says:

    I am not a lawyer, and don’t even play one on TV. But it kinda sorta sounds like a legal exposure of SDs to me.

    A minor programming change in the website code can disallow under 21 SBs to enter their drinking preference. 😉

  127. SouthernSB says:

    Answer to rhetorical question. Not letting people who can die in a war, go to college, get married, have children and vote, not have a drink or two is just asinine.

  128. Josh says:

    Rhetorical question: Is “social” drinking now allowed, in the United States, to 18-20 year-olds?

    Note: Many (most?) of the 18-20 year-old SBs on SA are social drinkers. 😉

  129. SouthernSB says:

    Question? Why do designers think that middle class women don’t have a sense of style? Discuss.

  130. Josh says:


    Are you accepting critique on the CL profile? 😉

  131. Zack says:

    How are your culinary proclivities?

  132. PIWolf says:

    Just read an interesting post in Craigslist (Chicago) Creative Services section. It is a very well written piece by a POT SB. Just want to share it …..

    I am currently attending school full time. In addition to continuing my education I also work part time. I am an active woman who enjoys trying new things. I’m a sports fan (GO CHICAGO) I have more interest in contact sports such as hockey, football, and martial arts. But I can most certainly enjoy a peaceful game of golf on a nice day.

    I LOVE food. I have southern roots so food is a big deal! A good steak and baked potato makes me one happy woman. This is an area that screams for ongoing experiences! Trying new food and varieties of different establishments is thrilling for me.

    I enjoy a vast variety of music. Love the blues(Stevie Ray Vaughn and Muddy Waters) “Classic Rock”, and also some heavier rock/metal. I am an a very well rounded educated woman with extreme drive and passion for life.

    I am looking for a gentleman who knows how to treat a lady. I am available to meet once to twice a week and would prefer a set allowance as a donation for my time.

  133. Josh says:

    Sorry I mean to say: Your pictures will have most affect on the volume of winks/emails you will received. Your profile will have some affect. So don’t sweat the profile too much. Now…if you have good command on the language, and love to write, then go ahead and show off. 😉

  134. Josh says:


    First things first. Your pictures to a higher extent, and then your profile have some affect on the kinds of winks/emails you will receive. I suggest at least 3 public pictures. Have those pictures taken in bright light. No dark pictures please. Let them be in color. This is not the place to be mysterious.

    As far as profile, me thinks, that less is better. This is the place to be a bit mysterious.

    Some SBs and SDs do not like to receive winks. So stick with emails if you are the one contacting them. If you have enough SDs to choose from as SouthernSB indicated above, then more power to you.

  135. Josh says:

    Isn’t that a “challenge” or sorts? 😉

  136. SouthernSB says:

    @Josh what kind of challenges could a pretty white woman have on SA? Her inbox exploding with offers for dates?

  137. Josh says:

    Also, a pretty white women on SA may face different challenges compared to non-PWW.;)

  138. Josh says:


    The comments, opinions and suggestions you get here will be very diverse. The more you can tell about your specific situation; age, financial situation, prime motivation to be an SB, location, etc., then you may get better responses.

    Note: Use discretion. We don’t need to know which specific city you are in. But it is helpful to have an idea if you are living in ( or willing to travel at SD’s expense to) a city, such as, New Yorkn or if you will be limited to cities, such as, Nashville, Minneapolis, etc.

    All of the above affect dynamics of sugar relationships.

  139. Jj says:

    Ms. V, you are in the proper place. Friendly insight will be afforded.

  140. Voliettedarlingxoxo says:

    I am new to this & I am trying to get my head around it all. I have been reading everyone’s comments I guess it is a modern twist on something that has existed forever. It seems everyone is from America and there are not many SD in Australia? I’m not worried about how to dress for the first date, I have style. I am more interested in the progress and steps I need to take to get to the conversation about arrangements. Sorry if I am in the wrong forum. I am still working everything out.

  141. ZiggyGMasque says:

    I feel a little late in the game on commenting (also first post ever!) but I can vouch for finding clothing gems in the strangest of places. My absolute favorite dress was only $15 at Charlotte Russe and always turns heads (in a good and tasteful way.) I was fortunate enough to find a wonderful piece at Goodwill once for $2.25 that I’m sure played a part in me dating a very well known voice actor for some time (broke it off due to distance).

    My few experiences as a SB have left me with the knowledge of knowing when to spend wisely when I need it (special effects makeup for my career is pricy!) and knowing when to indulge to please myself and my SD!

  142. flyR says:

    Tattoos which

    are small
    normally covered
    not gang or prison related

    are not required initial disclosure items.

    the barbed wire celebrating that your lover is doing hard time, tramp stamps etc probably exceeds these limits and require disclosure for your benefit. Lots of us are pretty flexible.

    In summary don’t sweat the small things and share the larger ones.

  143. Texas says:

    @Josh- Okay I see, I shall do this then thank you for the advice!

  144. Josh says:

    I meant to say that include pictures of tattoos in your private pictures and allow him access to them.

    Many SDs may not be against tattoos in general, but they may want to know if they like your specific tattoos.

  145. Josh says:


    Yes it is prudent to include it in your profile, and if they are not close to private parts then display them openly, or at least giving him access to your private pictures.

    One of our sweet blog members, KatPaw, is very smart about tattoos. Hopefully she will be able to advise you first-hand.

  146. Texas says:

    @ Josh- My days of having a full fridge went out the window the day I decided to get an education 🙂 Im jk, I have water bottles in there right now!
    Also, should I put that I have a couple small tattoos on my profile?

  147. Josh says:


    Stick with consignment stores for right now. Fridge must stay full or at least have foodstuff for next few meals. 😉

    You should get the tattoos presence out of the way before the meeting. That way you know if you want to meet this SD to start off with.

    You are not going to a conventional job interview where having a concealed tattoos is none of the employer’s business. Eventually, you will get naked and if your SD is not into tattoos then you don’t want to waste your time with him.

  148. Texas says:

    I also have one more question,Do I wear something that covers my tattoos? Or is it okay for them to be showing?

  149. Texas says:

    I shall stick with it then! @Richard- I like the point you make about how someone dresses. I would have had a little black dress a long time ago but I had to spend the money I saved on my first suit for job interviews. It wasnt anything special but the $100 Dillards skirt suit I bought left my fridge empty for 3 weeks lol.

  150. Josh says:

    “Chase the vision, not the money, the money will end up following you.” — Tony Hsieh. Founder of Zappos; yes the company started as shoe sales website. 😉

  151. Josh says:

    @texas, stick with texas on the blog. 😉

  152. Miami Guy says:

    Back to the point….

    I typically tell my newer or POT SBs what I am wearing, AND a licttle bit about the place we are going.

    E.g., Suit, sports coat, jeans, shorts or even workout clothes. If the place is fine dining, or packed bar with yuppies post happy hour, hole in wall, etc.

    Most get it. Some don’t, alas. But I usually spot the ones who won’t get it in the online application process, so to speak.

  153. aliceS says:

    I meant haba* my phone auto correct changes words all the time

  154. aliceS says:

    Haha I told him I prefer KFC 🙂 and we went there 🙂

  155. aliceS says:

    Richard one of my friend is a very rich guy, from Germany. His single forever, says women waist his time and money. Since time is money it’s double waist, he refuse to take that option at all. He is the owner of a huuuuuge collection old cars. Several hammers porches etc. In his German home I counted his garage has around 30 cars. He is the owner of an beautiful house in Los Angeles. But when you meet him. And you hadn’t a possibility to see him getting of his car, you’d might think he is a homeless. He stinks and dress awful. So, um.. you are right about it.

  156. eloquence says:

    @ Richard

    Good thing I do not have black hair on my head nor am I anyones mistress.

    @ JJ

    Putty…alas.. fluid liquid to a solid, heated and back to a liquid mold to a plastic with flexibility…

    @ me and why is it so difficult to have the first meet, so I can say the following..

    YouTube: “I want it all “- Karmen

  157. Zack says:

    Did s/he 🙂 wear suits in the past?

  158. Richard says:

    The conventional wisdom is that successful men “dress the part” and that you can somehow tell someone’s net worth by their clothes and watch. Although that is sometimes true, I know many extremely wealthy men that shop at low end department stores and wear off the rack suits (when they wear suits at all). Warren Buffett is worth $44 billion yet drives a $50,000 Cadillac and eats at MacDonalds (sometimes).

    I also know some men that dress extremely well in designer suits and bespoke shoes and own many high end watches, drive late model AMG Mercedes or Ferraris, live in very expensive apartments in Manhattan or San Francisco, yet are carrying substantial debt and struggle to pay their bills every month.

    The richest guy I know owns a very nice jet, three beautiful homes, and several very nice cars. He also dresses in ratty jeans, old faded button-down shirts and boat shoes with no socks. His personal hygiene is suspect. I once accompanied him to a business meeting with his attorneys where the combined rate that was being billed was probably $3k/hour and he dressed the same way. I teased him about it and he said “who is paying who here?” 🙂

    In this day and age with all the successful super geeks out there, you simply cannot tell someone’s net worth by how they dress or carry themselves.

  159. eloquence says:

    You tube..Not a bad thing – Justin Timberlake …funny…it ends with all locks in a row on a gate…and “to be continued” …


  160. Zack says:

    Was it something I said?

  161. Zack says:

    Re attire: Clean lines, creases and an appealing texture…business casual works for meets, interviews, and the first day on the job.

  162. Zack says:

    (Yes, I had them in the closet. Shrug. some in the bedroom, too. Then a couple over in…)

  163. Zack says:

    Josh, would you care to post a pic of your wardrobe for us aspiring SD’s? I find I’m wearing jeans from early college. Heh.

  164. Josh says:

    I agree with HapaSB that SD is supposedly successful. So he should dress his part. However, all may not be lost if he is not dressed nicely. An innocent question, such as, “you look casual?” or comment like, “sorry I am dressed too _____” can help the SB grt to the bottom of why he dressed that way.

    If you are satisfied with whatever his response is, then ignore his outfit. If you are not, then decide you future course of action accordingly.

    There is no need to read too much into what men do. Men are usually not “dropping hints”. Ask and, most often than not, you shall find out whatever is going on in his head.

  165. Zack says:


    If you’d ever like a FtF in Ann Arbor, let me know?

  166. HapaSB says:

    WOW THAT IS TERRIBLE. What kind of guy…not just SD..does not own a pair of dress shoes and a collared shirt + jacket? On a brighter note, you had a nice expensive meal out of this embarrassment? Or just walked out – I would not blame you!

  167. aliceS says:

    @Hapa I had a meeting once.we planned to go to the restaurant. I was dressed in a little black dress, nice heels and some jewelry as additional finishing. When I saw my date. OMG. Jeans. Sneakers and shirt. I was like. OMG WTF is he wearing. And on his profile he mentioned his height. I think he added a bit. Cause I was definitely higher than him

  168. HapaSB says:

    If not already disclosed, I actually ask the SD their height before meeting as I LOVE high heels. If a SD dressed inappropriately, I would cut the meeting short and leave. Someone with age and status should know better and it is disrespectful to me as he did not want to show me his best on the first meeting. Luckily I haven’t had anyone show up dressed inappropriately. I take first impressions seriously so I treat it like a job interview.

  169. Zack says:

    He “deserves” it.

  170. Zack says:

    Shrug, he’s obviously no SD. Just take the money when he’s not looking and ditch.

  171. aliceS says:

    What if sd is dressed inappropriately? And you discover, that he is shorter than you in your high heels?

  172. Zack says:

    Rhetorical question: Is there anything of value here?

  173. Zack says:

    oops, I meant to say, “He’s not talking to you, either.” Sorry, sometimes I forget to be a bastard.

    Deal: P


  174. Zack says:

    @ messed with texas 😛

    Thank your timing and JJ. It could have gone nowhere. I haven’t met him. 😛 (It can wait.) And…I tried to avoid your post. I thought it would serve as a .herring. for Josh. You got luckier than some others. JJ got provoked; Josh used you. Umm, something useful…the best accessories are bright eyes which see things that matter, a nice smile and lots of laughs. If you’re not having fun, find someone else or settle.

    s://www youtube.com/watch?v=TBBXRQHKFcE

    @ Josh shouldn’t that be “all?”

  175. Josh says:

    Rhetorical question: How many women employ the vaginal muscles contraction technique during intercourse?

  176. Saleen says:

    @[email protected] Its very nice to meet you,thanks for all of the input on my post!

  177. Saleen says:

    I am very new here, I apologize for not being consistent with my screename. (Saleen aka Texas) Thank you to everyone who answered my post and offered me some insight. I really appreciate the time you guys took to point me in the right direction. 🙂

  178. Saleen says:

    @Josh-Thank you very much for your advice, I will defintely try to look for a little black dress in the places you mentioned. I know its possible to find one, I just have to start looking!
    @flyR-Thank you for the advice as well. I hope to find someone on here who is okay with casual for the first meeting, maybe I will get lucky!
    @Richard- Thanks for the insight, I hope to be a polished gem someday but for now diamond in the rough will have to do 🙂
    @HapaSB- I will try to check out forever 21 in the mall this weekend if I can get my homework finished in time!
    @Elaine- Black dress, heels, and a little jewelry…got it thanks!!!

  179. Josh says:

    Peter Weller is one of my favorite actors? 😉

  180. Zack says:

    Hey, monkeyboy…want to do Buckaroo Banzai? If you can make The World Crime League, I’d be amused.

    //www youtube.com/watch?v=rNBWf54RvsI

    No, Josh. I’m actually not talking to you.

  181. Zack says:

    What just happened?

    I want to find out, too. 😛

  182. eloquence says:

    So is this the sovereign wave of “dress” for Baby? Baby likes

  183. Zack says:

    on topic?
    //www youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=A3AeHwm8EcU

    I’ll spare the new wave how soon is now?

  184. flyR says:

    Richard “May be only a pet peeve of mine, but I doubt it.”

    three things happen when your potential sugar runs late (applies to sd too)

    she probably starts with a little lie
    she’s distracted
    She’s not focused other than on her issues.

  185. Richard says:

    @Flyr – I would also emphasize the “be early” advice. Making a man wait for you may be conventional wisdom for normal dating, but most real SDs are successful businessmen, and, unless they are Italian, they will be annoyed if you are late.

    I don’t care how many texts you send saying you “are on your way” or “in the cab” or whatever excuse is fashionable this week, but if you can’t be on time for the first meeting I’m going to be skeptical that you’ll be reliable in the future.

    May be only a pet peeve of mine, but I doubt it.

  186. flyR says:

    Back to basics on dress –

    What is the mission
    young – look a little older and sophisticated
    older – look energetic and fun
    Play to your strong points

    Unless your potential SD is gay or nearly so he’s probably trying to visualize what you would look like wearing only your boots, spurs and cowboy hat or simply sprawled across his bed. We’re not visualizing you pushing the baby stroller, meeting mom, going to the company Christmas Party (well perhaps), or greeting us as we come to the office.

    Yes, I would like to have someone to take to a fancy restaurant and to shoot pool in a fisherman’s bar the next night.

    This is just one opinion, others want arm candy, slaves, mothers, daughters etc…….

    Now that you have solved the dress issue

    Be early , take care of any calls, listen to some music while flushing out any angst from others, think something that makes you smile and doesn’t require batteries………. Unless you are a natural you should work hard on walking into the meeting without anything else on your mind. As Spock would order , deploy the full sensor package.

  187. Beach_Girl says:

    The new SA Shakespeare blog… lol

    I love how we are all so diverse here

    Have a great day sugars 😀

  188. Jj says:

    Dearest Eloquence, I have lost all human function and nothing less than be of putty within your hands!!

  189. Richard says:

    Of course he didn’t mean “mistress” the way we mean “mistress.” And I’m not sure I could deal with reeking breath. 🙂

  190. Richard says:


    My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
    Coral is far more red, than her lips red:
    If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
    If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
    I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
    But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
    And in some perfumes is there more delight
    Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
    I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
    That music hath a far more pleasing sound:
    I grant I never saw a goddess go,
    My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
    And yet by heaven, I think my love as rare,
    As any she belied with false compare.

  191. Beach_Girl says:

    Jj & Texas~Yes, MissMontreal1 at gmail… that’s where I can be reached. 😀

  192. eloquence says:

    Shall we make one more round of the garden and go in? If she favours you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart into pieces, call her your page, lend her your shoulder and she will drop for you to rest of her bosom.

  193. Jj says:


    Thank you for your being you, but of course; and the offer is legit, indeed. Being how the topic is of “Dress”, perhaps you would be of kind heart to assist in a facilitation of the sponsorship, of sorts. As texas is new and not aware of all, it may be better her liking, should she wish to utilize another to correspond, then it would be of prudence; in turn the necessary avenues be used to insure her receipt of sponsorship. Or Zack, KPaw, Eloquence; whom all are of trustworthiness in such manners. Then sweet Ms texas could be of a more assured presentation toward her meet. Yes!

  194. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars….

    How is everyone?

    Jj~ that is very sweet of you to want to help Texas. I think you helped Kat with her profile, maybe I should ask the same 😀

    Zack~ Yes, I have some heels but not GianMarco Lorenzi’s … but if you are offering lol… 😀 I wouldn’t say no!

    Kat~ Nice to see you sweet girl, how is everything?

  195. Jj says:

    Bravo, dearest Eloquence, Bravo!! I thoist have sought and thouist has favored!! Thank you is beneathest thou heart.

  196. Zack says:

    Or should I say, don’t wight up for me, you know where I’ll B?

    //www youtube.com/watch?v=Dt1DRkJCdeo

    We should talk. I’ve got trust concerns, can you tell?

  197. Zack says:

    Oh, dear! 😀

    //www youtube.com/watch?v=N9L7UUp0FxY

  198. eloquence says:

    Ode to the Shakespearean heart whom one harkens when more than mere loiterance occurs but rather the beckoning by name within the confines and restraints of the loins of your speech.

    He so shaped out his walk as to arrive at the gate at his old time retorting: “I come here” on his legs with his box alongside him in a barrow.

    ” Ah young master. There are more changes than yours and its opposed to my orders to hold the gate open unless your key fits the lock. Shall I proceed your steps or you mine?”

  199. Josh says:

    Folks. If you want to go back and forth on one specific topic again and again to beat it to death, then please ask SD Guru for me email address. Let’s not clutter the blog. OK?

    I am off for now. Will post whenever. Thank you for your support. 😉

  200. Jj says:

    Zack, you are most correct and dress for success is the topic and I do wish texas the best in her successes; and my offer is legit!!

  201. Zack says:

    J’s, let us take leave for a moment that we may consider new perspectives. Josh…please, don’t mess with texas, either…you actually gamble with her future. Tsk.

  202. Josh says:


    Thouest words art not commendable. They tainteth thy generous name, good friend. Thou committeth malefactions while intoxicated. I lie not, thou art a portentous old man, but alas confused.

    Thou seemeth to repel people, people who art worthy of being good friends to thou, but thouest licentiousness doeth no good for thouest place in society.

  203. Josh says:


    I am not sure what you are getting at.

    If you received financial assistance from Jj because of my “challenge” to Jj, then you should be grateful and thanking me along with Jj, yes?

    If you received financial assistance from Jj regardless of my “challenge” to Jj, then why bring me in the middle?


    If texas gets assistance due to my mere suggestions to these fine gentlemen, then why interfere with a good deed about to happen?

    Why insist on putting me down? Do you have something against me? That is, regardless of what I do you will try to find fault, as a few others do? 😉

  204. Jj says:

    Of note. I do miss @Eloquence with her wonderful prose and exquisite tastes!

  205. Jj says:

    But now, now Ms KPaw, he is of lyrical personae and litle substance!!No?

  206. Jj says:

    Ah, but Joshy, oh Joshy! You took issue with KPaw in her be of a 30 minute “friend” for one who took care and of noble intentions! No?

  207. KatPaw says:

    Oh yes Josh what will you do out of the gentlemanly kindness of your heart? You have mighty suggestions for others but never do you yourself do.. Hmmmmm

  208. Jj says:

    @Joshy, oh Joshy

    Thou art mighty hilariousth. 😉

    And yes, no challenges to no one. These gentlemen will do whatever they do from the goodness of their hearts. ;)”

    Oh buttock, of buttock’s! It did appear as a challenge of challenges with your word of wisdom and foresight!! Your verbiage of tainted ideals of another.

    AGAIN, but what of you!!! Can you not spare some small indulgence; small denominations of currency! With which to enhance a young woman’s care within her first meet? After all, you of wise words, have especially espoused the desire to have the sugar realm to prosper, but if one dear lovely at a time!! No?

  209. Josh says:


    Thou art mighty hilariousth. 😉

    And yes, no challenges to no one. These gentlemen will do whatever they do from the goodness of their hearts. 😉

  210. Jj says:

    “Im kinda scared that when I finally do get the chance to meet a SD, he wont be impressed with my clothes. :(”

    The offer is valid and of no sort of challenge as Joshy, oh Joshy attests: [[@Richard How about you send $100 gift card to texas? ;)—@ Jj How about you send $100 gift card to texas as well? ;)—@ Zack If you sent texas $25 gift card from Goodwill, it will go a long way too. 😉 ]]

    Joshy, oh Joshy, is of sage of sages, Carnack of cracked personae, but has only mouth with which to back up and spout!!!

  211. Jj says:

    Oh dear and I totally forgot!!

    “Mentor that!!”

  212. Jj says:

    oh yeah? Properly understood, Zack; your comprehension is little lack, indeed! Other than some! 🙁

  213. Jj says:

    Joshy, oh Joshy!! You of little faith, so as to define the young woman, as to her preference of shop! How crude of you indeed. I, but of kindness, do not place limits on a lovely and prefer her to partake of the taste she so chooses, as I am sure of it, that she has a ppd card for reload or a g-dot with which to utilize!!! And, Joshy, oh Joshy, but what of you?, in this noble of efforts to help with the young lady at ease? Joshy, oh Joshy!

  214. Josh says:


    It’s not about Josh at all. It is about an SB who needs help. Do it if you want. That’s all. 😉

  215. KatPaw says:

    Ha ha Josh twist it how ever it suits you.

  216. Zack says:

    oh yeah?

    //static comicvine.com/uploads/original/0/9541/1511732-103_1.jpg

    heheh, have fun with this one 😀

  217. Josh says:


    The above are basically suggestions. No challenges involved. 😉

  218. Jj says:

    Joshy, oh Joshy!! The sage of sages, soothsayers of sooths, the Carnack of cracked personae….. I scoff at your childishness and was more than ahead of your litl boyish like antics in being of kind heart, as I pondered a thought of assistance for the young lady with her thoughts of embarrassment in her first meet; I was of the idea to offer! Texas, should you wish!?! Blog gods, please share, in an offer to be of gentlemanly kindness. Texas?
    Just say’n again and again!

    Fact, it would be of nice effort, should Joshy, oh Joshy; offer but a pittance, that I may even match accordingly, should he dare choose. Note Joshy, oh Joshy; I did say may as I do not hold much credence of or in your integrity.

  219. Josh says:


    If you sent texas $25 gift card from Goodwill, it will go a long way too. 😉

  220. KatPaw says:

    @Josh you make a lot of challenges to other SDs on this blog to “prove” themselves to you.. I need to ask what have you done to prove anything but being self centered jackass?

  221. Zack says:

    Josh, it revolts me that you edge in on the grace of others and distort it to your own purpose and against the very thing you use. But that’s just my morals, not yours; I know.

    “If each one of us does not amass riches only for oneself, but half for the service of others, in this f— [pause], in this case, the providence of God will become visible through this gesture of solidarity,”

  222. Josh says:

    $100 from a moderately priced outfit, such as, Macy’s, Dillards, etc., and $100 card from Forever 21, Gap Outlet, etc., will go a long way.

  223. Josh says:

    How about you send $100 gift card to texas as well? 😉

  224. Josh says:

    @Jj @Richard

  225. Jj says:


    “How about you send $100 gift card to texas? ;)”

    I was thinking of an assist myself, but be aware that, Joshy would never admit/understand the fact that there are gentleman among boys. just say’n. texas??

  226. Josh says:


    How about you send $100 gift card to texas? 😉

  227. Zack says:

    PIWolf: (Heh, an irrational lupine is so much more the gentleman than a mad dog.)

    I realized I spent most of my life waiting for plans to be “ready.” I waste too much of my life. Though I am not now what I will be, I am…more than “just looking.” Good thing, too. I have a lot to learn if my mistakes so far are any indication.

    Talking on the blog was a good place to start rather than jumping in both feet, I thought. Silly me.

    www youtube.com/watch?v=YeawPUpTHJA

  228. Zack says:

    @JJ If it’s not been said, “Thanks.” If for no other reason than letting your soapbox speak for itself 🙂

    @KM “Hi.” What state are you in? (“Indeterminate” is acceptable, “Desperate” is not.)

    @Beachy”…click click click…” her heels echoed as she glided to the mike. Good to see a friendly name.

  229. HapaSB says:

    I agree with @Beach_Girl, @Elaine, and @Richard. A little black dress found almost at any store will make you va-va-voom! Fashionable, cost friendly stores like Forever 21 and H&M have great deals everyday. Borrowing from friends is also a great option! If an SD feels you don’t quite look the part yet, I’m hoping HE will do something for you to change that.

  230. Elaine says:

    @ Texas

    Try to get a simple little black dress, doesn’t have to cost much, as Josh said.
    This is always a safe and flattering choice.

    A pair of simple plain black heels, a nice necklace or bracelet and you look like a million dollar! 😉
    Remember, if you can’t make it, fake it!

    Or try to borrow such outfit from a colleague or friend, and buy it yourself after the succesful Sugar date.


  231. flyR says:

    @Richard “”Many SDs are looking for a diamond in the rough, not a fully polished gem. It sounds like you have great potential, just be proud of your accomplishments and, if appropriate, disclose that you don’t have the resources to primp for your potential SD at this time. Don’t come across as desperate, but if you have great rapport with your potential SD and it seems like he might care about such things, you might suggest he advance you a little money so you can get a manicure before your date.””

    I’m 99% in agreement with Richard but draw the line at asking for money in advance for ra first date. Two reasons – a) it reeks of desperation b) I think it acts as a filter , perhaps eliminating those who you want and keeping those who you may not want. Let some new outfits come a little later.

    Something nice and you perfectly scrubbed , fresh and even nothing more than lipstick ……. lunch or coffee or even a casual glass of wine.

    I may be prejudiced spending a lot of time in tech laden environments. From the first day of grad school through a couple of decades in business I wore a suit and tie every day unless I was on a project site. Now it’s perhaps twice a month.

  232. Beach_Girl says:

    LOL Josh~ Did you just tell someone to go shop at the Salvation Army?
    lol… don’t they have only army stuff? yeah, wear heels with the camouflage, looks great on ya!!! lol…

    Everyone knows that there are plenty of stores for nice cheap stuff, some forever21 dresses, black , are ok with a nice jacket and heel. online shopping, you can get great deals. plenty of choices, you just have to be selective. There are plenty of information on the internet on style, who should wear what etc. Easy searches to help yourself out. not only for dates, but for every day !

  233. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars 😀

    Welcome to the Newbies

    As for dressing, if you don’t know that going on a date, even an arrangement date, you need to dress up… there’s a problem with common sense. I think every women knows that she needs to dress to impress, Even if it’s not Designer clothes.. It doesn’t have to be and confidence doesn’t come from clothes either, it might make you feel better, but it won’t make you more confident. You can have nice piece of clothes, little black dress, nice womens suit, nice skirt and nice shoes.
    Nice Shoes… ahhh I wish I could buy some GML or Louboutins but … alas I cannot! If I had a SD that would get me nice shoes… it would be AWESOME!!! maybe one day 😉

    The new blog design… WTF, it’s not practical at all. If you write a longer post, as I am now, you cannot go back and re-read and fix typos etc. It’s annoying. It seems off to me.

    Josh~ Not every SB are waitresses or Hairstylists… lol

    Richard~ nice to see, how have you been?

    Hope everyone is good

    ooooohhhhh I almost signed my name, I need to stop working so much lol…

  234. Richard says:

    @Texas – Lots of resources on the web showing you how to look great on second-hand or inexpensive clothes. You only need one outfit, and a simple black dress with a unique accessory from a consignment store can look amazing on the right person. If you truly don’t have anything you would feel comfortable wearing to a nicer restaurant, suggest a daytime rendezvous or a more casual place for the first meet.

    Many SDs are looking for a diamond in the rough, not a fully polished gem. It sounds like you have great potential, just be proud of your accomplishments and, if appropriate, disclose that you don’t have the resources to primp for your potential SD at this time. Don’t come across as desperate, but if you have great rapport with your potential SD and it seems like he might care about such things, you might suggest he advance you a little money so you can get a manicure before your date.

    Certain SDs (those who shall not be named) would never consider parting with any money to cover your expenses in preparing for a meeting, but I’ve done it several times and find it sexy. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone. Why wouldn’t I want to help you look your best?

  235. flyR says:

    @Texas Your problem may be your asset. Nice but not terribly expensive jeans, modest but carefully chosen blouse.

    Look for someone who is not into this week’s restaurant of the century and more into fun casual. You’ll be a breath of fresh air.. It sounds like you are smart, have finished a tough major – look for someone who thinks that’s beautiful.. ….

  236. Josh says:

    Also Gap Outlet stores have crazy amazing sales all year long. Sign up for their mailing list.

    Keep in mind that the shopping most women do, and the brands/labels that go along with it is to show them off to other women.

    Again, as long as you carry yourself well and with confidence, men don’t give a crap about 90% of what women buy/wear.

  237. Josh says:


    Most SBs are struggling like you are. Ignore the Loubs-talk…some people like to post that shit for God knows what end. 🙁

    If you have not tried already then you may want to buy a few pieces of clothing and accessories from consignment stores.

    During my student days I used to buy great-looking clothes for next to nothing. If you know how to carry yourself then any type of outfit you may afford will look good.

    Salvation Army had OK stuff. Goodwill usually had better selection.

  238. Josh says:


    You never “have to be” intimate unless you want to.

  239. texas says:

    Im really nervous to meet a pot SD on here because I barely have enough money to buy food, let alone buy fancier clothing. Im a soon to be graduate (next month) with a science degree and a student debt so high it leaves me in tears when I look over my statements. Im kinda scared that when I finally do get the chance to meet a SD, he wont be impressed with my clothes. 🙁

  240. aliceS says:

    Guess I will have my second date in a week, what should I do? I mean what exactly should be discussed for both sides? Before we decide on our third date? Since we have to be intimate on our 3rd date, as I might assume from previous posts and comments. My almost sd plan to spent whole 3 day in here. So mayday, mayday

  241. aliceS says:

    Good evening all 😉
    Where, oh where is my Sugardoll

  242. Josh says:

    Rhetorical question: What would the world be like if women were rendered obsolete, as per Jj’s fucking prediction?

  243. Josh says:


    “Josh, just envision the possibilities; women could be possibly rendered obsolete!!!”

    Hmmm, why do you want women to be obsolete? Do you have irreconcilable hate for women? If you do then I am sure that for man of your means, help is readily available. 😉

  244. Jj says:

    News update-dateline!!
    Talk about dress for success, this should appeal to a SD who does not care to deal with women.

    Doctors successfully implant lab-grown vaginas into 4 women
    By Amanda WoernerPublished April 10, 2014

    “…closely monitored to detect for complications and underwent numerous tests to assess the function of her lab-grown organ…”
    “…were remarkably successful and showed healthy results in tests of functionality including desire, arousal, lubrication, sensation and painless intercourse…”

    Josh, just envision the possibilities; women could be possibly rendered obsolete!!!

  245. Karina Marie says:

    In response to the topic I’ve always erred on the side of caution and dressed business casual even if we were just meeting at Starbucks. If I wore jeans they were usually pressed, dark rinse denim that look somewhat like trousers. I only dress casually when I’m going to class and even then I always aim to look and feel my best.

  246. Josh says:


    “Answer is simple – No Marriage allowed. Marriage is made ILLEGAL.”

    That should work. 😉

  247. HapaSB says:

    Fashion blog is still in the works 🙂
    Are there private messaging options in this forum? I notice we have to leave email addresses to be posting. Is there a way to contact other forum members or do we need to publicly post our contact info in the comments?

  248. Elaine says:


    Hope we will see you soon enter in the Sugarbowl, you sound exactly like the type of SD that a lot of SB’s are hoping to find. 😉

    Any confirmation that they really do exist is encouraging for those Newbie SB’s that get plagued by Splenda’s, fakes, pervs and Johns.

  249. flyR says:

    This was advice given to graduating MBA’s on handling job interviews and negotiations – some parts are pretty good thoughts for SB’s

    A xxxxxxx Business School professor of negotiation shares the advice he’s been giving his students on navigating the tricky terrain of job offers. People only go to bat for candidates they find likable, he begins, and those whose value to the organization is clear — and whom they stand a reasonable chance of landing. So be charming and don’t play hard to get. Display your talents without seeming arrogant, show enthusiasm for the work, ignore graceless questions, and deflect attempts to try to pin you down. Consider the whole offer, not just salary. And don’t negotiate just for the sake of it. Ultimately, he reminds them, getting the right job is more important than getting the perfect terms. If things work out, you can always renegotiate down the road.

  250. Elaine says:

    @ Josh

    Google “wrong man syndrome”
    “Wrong woman syndrome” is the contrary.

    For one reason or another, it is less common though.
    I wonder why…. 😉

  251. Richard says:

    Blog gods please share my email address with HapaSB. I’d like to learn more about her fashion blog.

  252. HapaSB says:

    Exactly 🙂

  253. Richard says:

    @Hapa – As long as he covers the essentials (or you do) then there’s nothing wrong with getting sexy designer shoes as a gift that you both enjoy. No?

  254. HapaSB says:

    Thank you for not being so quick to judge, you sound lovely! What are SD for right? 😛

    I am not sure why people assume I am a waitress or just earning $15/hr and absolutely nothing wrong with that as I have worked my way up. A SB does not necessarily mean a damsel in distress. My SD have enriched my life as to new experiences, valuable connections, and of course making life sweeter. I am young, in my early 20s but extremely motivated that SD love my passion for life and we connect on building yourself from nothing. With that said, my priorities are very much in check…if not, I would have a whole lot more Louboutins 😉

  255. Josh says:


    “Ok, I give up now.”


    ‘“Wrong Woman Syndrome” is all (and last) I am going to say about it…’

    “Wrong Women Syndrome” is not even Google-able. If it had some currency it would show up somewhere on Google, no?

    Don’t you worry. I will give you plenty reasons to respond to my post. 😉

  256. flyR says:

    “Rhetorical question: How to bring divoce rate to 0% in America?”

    Make spousal murder a misdemeanor (ducking an running)

    We all make mistakes in life and often the mistake is matching good people in a mismatch.. ….. wrong spouses, wrong business partners, wrong players on the team. Circumstances change, people change.

    Or as someone once noted women marry the man who they believe they can change/ or will grow into the man they want; men marry the woman they want hoping they will not change .

  257. PIWolf says:


    To answer your question – How to bring divorce rate to 0% in America?

    Answer is simple – No Marriage allowed. Marriage is made ILLEGAL. Or DIVORCE is not allowed, and made illegal. Either option will bring divorce to zero percentage and zero! Final option = Kill everyone. No people, no marriage, no divorce … 🙂

  258. KatPaw says:

    Wow I didn’t expect to break out the claws…

    @TsKate Yay!!!!!! Good for you!!! ( someday I’ll get mine too! 😉 )

  259. PIWolf says:

    On Topic: As a SD, I would like the POT SB to dress appropriately for the first meeting. If a public place like Starbucks, jeans would be fine, but go for the polished look (not the torn jeans look). As for makeup, I would be impressed by zero facial makeup, or just lipstick only. This allows me to see your true natural beauty, before any enhancements. In general, a business casual level of clothing by the POT SB, would be nice and low key enough to avoid drawing un-warranted attention to us.

    Off Topic: I am holding off on becoming a SD today, as I know my finances are not yet in a position to allow me to indulge (to the level I would like to). My dad always taught us to – Do things right, or Not do it at all.

    I feel that I should be at a financial level that can afford the level of expenses that I want to indulge in, before I jump into the Sugar Bowl (as it is known and practiced here). To me, I think of it as – The Art of Having (one or more) Mistresses. I know what I am looking for, for both short term and long term liaisons.

    I have had several girlfriends that I fully supported financially, in the Far East. The last one lasted almost 3 years, for which I spent and financed several business ventures with, to the tune of close to 100,000 US$. Thos were the good old days when I was making good money …. sigh.

    For me, Rule #1 for becoming a SD – Be able to afford it (whatever level you want to indulge at). If you are not at that level, make it an incentive to improve you state of finances.

  260. Josh says:

    See I am always happy to hear from TsKate. She is ALWAYS ALWAYS bringing upbeat news about something she is doing, trying, achieving.

    You look GREAT already girl. Can’t wait to see your “normal” look. 😉

  261. TsKate says:

    Love reading these posts.

    @Josh is always ruffling feathers haha.

    I think every girl goes through this at some point.

    Also, I have finally saved up enough to pay for breasts implants 🙂 I am really excited. I will post new pics as soon as I look normal again haha..

  262. Josh says:

    Rhetorical question: How to bring divoce rate to 0% in America?

  263. Sugardoll says:

    Why you get mad with josh, actually i do understand and i dont have a reason to get upset on why you didnt help other SB’s..its understandable it was always your choice who to help, noone cant force nobody to volunteer if they personally dont feel to do so… Relax, we all good.!!

  264. Elaine says:

    @ Josh

    Ok, I give up now.

    Go ahead living your 1 dimensional beliefs.
    Experiencing the same thing over and over again, and keep wondering why it always happens to you….
    Sad that an intelligent being can be so stuck in a persistent tunnel vision

    “Wrong Woman Syndrome” is all (and last) I am going to say about it…

  265. linda says:

    random question is anyone from this blog going to 2014 NYC Sugar Affair Event?

  266. Kms2014 says:

    “More women like her are needed to command respect from anyone; men or women”

    While very true, and I see the point you are trying to make, in that this woman obviously works hard and deserves respect for not feeling ‘entitled’ and having everything handed to her…I also believe that a girl who is in college, and her parents help her with finances, so that she doesn’t have to work too hard, therefore, can focus solely on her studies, deserves respect, too..And the stay at home mother, who decided to quit her career and raise her children, will get my respect. Or, a cashier who dropped out of
    high school, and has three kids deserves respect, in my opinion. In general, I just try and give women(and most humans) respect unless they give me a reason to do otherwise. I just had a problem with ‘more women like her are needed to command respect from anyone’…I don’t agree with the thinking that only women in certain professions, careers, hardships or paths in life, should garner respect. Knew a guy like that once…and he only respected women who were how he fancied ‘himself’ to be in life. If you respect someone for being hardworking, then that is great…however, what does being a woman working hard have to do with the need to have more women like her, in order to get respect from ‘anyone’. Perhaps, I’m reading into your comments too much again 😉 Just thought it might be an underlying thought process, in regards to your overall opinion of women….

  267. Josh says:


    “The GPS, entitled princesses and “mind fuckers” are a small minority. Believe me!”

    If you believe that, then I have a bridge I am trying to offload for a while. It’s in Brooklyn, NY though. I will give you a great bargain.

    The three-jobs, hardworking woman could be a mindfucking, relationship saboteur as well. My respect for her is due to her hardworking lifestyle. 😉

  268. Elaine says:

    @ Josh

    Hey, we do agree on something!!! 😉
    This girl really deserves respect!

    I hope these kind of profiles, and eventually meeting with such women, will make you change your mind a little about women in general…

    The GPS, entitled princesses and “mind fuckers” are a small minority.
    Believe me!

  269. flyR says:

    “I would have a lot more respect for a girl who buys a pair of Loubs after working her ass off at sub-$15/hr job than a “princess” who expects to be “spoiled” with one. ”

    I guess I’m weird but

    I would think she has her priorities all wrong. Working a $15/hr job and $1,000 shoes (unless they are a present) would worry me. If she casually mentioned they were a gift from a friend I would think she has good judgement in friends.

    And Yes CatPaw is real

    If I wanted to see jeans and 6″ heels I would drive up to Sunset or Hollywood Blvd where they hang out.

  270. linda says:

    Any girl or lady who desses like they going to a night club just to meet up with your pot-SD or SD for coffee or drinks or what ever is obviously clueless common sense goes a long way I haven’t had any luck on this site seem to me every pot SD or SD is taken lol but if I had I obviously wouldn’t dress like no slut just saying classy in the day- freak at night lmao plus never wanna give a guy the wrong message!!

  271. Josh says:

    That said, if I were feeling generous then such spoiling will only go to the kind of girl who is currently working her ass off by working three jobs while going to school. Hats off to her. More women like her are needed to command respect from anyone; men or women.

  272. Josh says:

    Most SBs (yes, 80+% does qualify for the designation of “most”) on SA, have incomes from minimum wage to around $15/hour; which is the gross hourly income for a waitress in my neck of the woods. You may fudge the numbers a bit depending on the region of the country and/or the type of restaurant she is working at.

    I would have a lot more respect for a girl who buys a pair of Loubs after working her ass off at sub-$15/hr job than a “princess” who expects to be “spoiled” with one. 😉

  273. Zack says:

    @Josh…that’s the Spirit 😛

  274. KatPaw says:

    Purrrrrrr I’d love to add more heels into my wardrobe but have other priorities that come first over pretty shoes. ( dosent mean I don’t want them or look at them longingly meow)

  275. Richard says:

    @HapaSB – You’re speaking my language, especially after you threw in the six inch Louboutins. But you should realize that very few new SBs can afford $1000 shoes. That’s why I’m here. 🙂

  276. Elaine says:

    I think this pot. SB DESERVES nothing less as a great SD to make her life a little easier!

  277. Josh says:

    I have a feeling that this pot SB will appreciate whatever an SD does for her:

    “I am very hard working and driven. I work 3 jobs to put myself through college and pay my bills my living expenses. I am a senior in a nationally ranked agricultural science program. I hope to attend graduate school or work in the agriculture industry while continuing to run competitively. Alternatively, I would love to work full time as a brand representative in the running industry. I currently work in footwear sales for a sporting store, as a barista in a cafe, and as a research assistant in a science lab.”

  278. Josh says:

    Great to know. But whatever he did for you is separate from any “deal” him and I had. 😉

  279. KatPaw says:

    @Josh my original request was help with polishing my profile to find my own SD. Which was accomplished. I just stating he went above and beyond that.

  280. Josh says:

    “me and JJ have become friends via email. I hit a unexpected financial bump this week and JJ offered a little financial help.”

    Nice to know that you and Jj have become friends, and one friend helped the other during the course of their friendship.

    Therefore, I am a bit puzzled. What does that have to do with my “challenge to”/”deal with” Jj, which I don’t even recall the details of because Jj decided to ignore my requests for follow-up? 😉

  281. KatPaw says:

    @josh as I remember it was only one SB. He has been helping me with my request ( which was actually just help with my profile so I could find my own SD) So me and JJ have become friends via email. I hit a unexpected financial bump this week and JJ offered a little financial help. ( I never asked for any $ from JJ but he offered and came through) what kind of proof do you want. You can ask several bloggers I am who I say I am and have no reason to lie.. Let’s see flyr, Richard, OP( wait he got run off) and Zack can all confirm I’m real.

  282. HapaSB says:

    Hello everyone, I do not keep an active profile on SA anymore but I do like checking out the blog every now and then. I have always read but have not replied to any topics yet; since this post is about dressing the part and I have been interested in starting my own fashion blog I would love to share my thoughts!

    First off, I would like to add having manicured hands and feet to the list.

    I am a SB under the age of 25 and I have worn jeans to a first time meeting with an SD. It all depends on the situation. Where are you meeting? Jeans are appropriate for a cafe for coffee. Is there need for discretion? If the answer is yes, jeans are casual and perfect for being understated. Remember SB, wearing jeans does not make someone unrefined, dress it up with a nice blouse, ballet flats, or heels.

    Dinner with an SD means going to a nice restaurant. There are so many ways to dress sexy without showing too much skin. A staple of mine are little black dresses; I love a covered, black, bodycon dress that hits just above the knee.

    Classic pumps as discussed in the article is definitely a winner! Black and nude stilettos are my go to shoes. One way I sex up an outfit without looking trashy is to throw on 6in Louboutins!

    Make up should be clean and hair styled. If SB does not generally wear make up, opt for a natural look: foundation, mascara, blush, eyeliner. It does not take more than 15min and your SD will notice you made an effort to please him!

    Let me know your thoughts and if anyone would be interested in a fashion blog in the future!
    Thanks xx

  283. Elaine says:

    And that starts already with your profile photo’s!

  284. Elaine says:

    Nice topic!

    Think this is a great advice of the grand lady Coco Chanel:

    “Your dresses should be tight enough to show you’re a woman, and loose enough to show you’re a lady!”

    And I would like to add my personal advice:
    If you expect high allowances, you should look like you’re worth every cent of it!
    A high class fantasy doesn’t look like an average housewife, schoolgirl or hooker.
    She is ALWAYS buffed, polished and looks like a million dollar!
    And that doesn’t mean it has to cost a million dollar!

    “Elegance is a question of personality, more than one’s clothing”
    -JP Gaultier-

    So if you are looking for a high class SD, make sure he will never be embarassed to be seen with you in top restaurants or hotels!

  285. flyR says:

    In disagreement with the intro, I think it is appropriate to ask about dress to prevent any misunderstanding . The comment about being overtly dressed when the SD is looking for something discrete is very funny in a sort of tragic sense.

    My advice would be to dress a little more classy than might otherwise be suggested but some flexibility is always good. It might be just something simple like one button changing the look of the librarian to that of a wanton woman.

    In most situations I am fine with jeans (no holes ) , especially if they are flattering. They are perfect for a late afternoon at the Getty Villa, walk on the beach or wine tasting.

    A conservative dress without anything underneath allows you to select multiple roles .

  286. Josh says:

    Sugar reality question: What percentage of under 25 year-old SBs show up in jeans at the first date with a pot SD?

  287. Josh says:


    Thanks for the update. He promised to help thre SBs. He ignored my multiple follow-up requests on the blog. So I gave up on it.

    I wonder why he chose you, whom I cannot verify his help, and not the others, whom I can verify his doings. 😉

  288. Zack says:

    oops, nope…broken link 😛
    www youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ke5Mr5eCF2U#t=0

  289. Zack says:

    That has got to cost Josh some sort of bet?

    Congrats…let me find a clip or something to say…

  290. KatPaw says:

    @Josh I know a while back you “challenged” JJ to help a SB out from the blog. Let me say he went above and beyond what this SB requested!

  291. Kindred Spirit says:

    So on one of my first ever sugar dates I thought I’d try to look as hot as possible…thinking that is what he would want. Well, yes, but…it was the “wrong” kind of hot. The horrified yet blushed look on his face when I met him (he was on a classy business trip while seeing me), told me it was too much. I realized too late I had inadvertently dressed like…well…sexed-up street hooker comes to mind. Lol Lesson learned to keep that kind of hotness “under wraps” until later!! *Blush* ^_^

  292. flyR says:

    The outfit should fit the mission statement………. negotiations, celebration, frolic time etc.