A burglar alarm! HAW!
But seriously, a Sugar Baby who wants to give her Daddy something special at holiday time might find herself in something of a dilemma: most arrangements are based on his generosity with material things and her generosity with time and attention. At Christmas, however, everybody loves to give gifts as well as receive them. What could a Baby possibly get for a man with his own Learjet, for goodness’ sake?
Just a suggestion.
To best answer that question, just take our SeekingArrangement quiz below. We bet it will get your creative juices flowing to make the Season’s giving bright for both of you.
1. What kind of cufflinks does your Sugar Daddy prefer?
a. Tasteful, minimalist gold
b. Silver ones shaped like dice
c. None; he wears only T-shirts made from free-trade cotton
d. Plastic ones shaped like boobs
2. If you wanted your SD to take you on a trip of his choice, where would he pick?
a. Skiing in the Swiss Alps
b. Drinking mint juleps at the Kentucky Derby
c. Saving orphaned eagles at Yellowstone National Park
d. Dining at the International House of Pancakes
“Baby, this is toast from France.”
3. How did your Daddy make his money?
a. He’s a cardiologist
b. He plays the stock market
c. He inherited it and gave half to children’s charities
d. He printed it
4. What’s his fetish?
b. Blindfolded fourways
c. Watching sad animal videos featuring Sarah McLachlan, then donating
d. Touching strangers inappropriately
5. What did he give you last year?
a. A diamond tennis bracelet
b. Tickets to the Super Bowl (because you’re a football fan)
c. One of his kidneys
Your friends were yellow with envy.
For each answer of “a,” give yourself 3 points. For a “b,” give 2. For each “c,” 1 point. For “d,” subtract 1 from your total and also take a long look in the mirror.
12 or more points: Your Daddy is generous, fun, and secure in your arrangement. Since it’s unlikely that you, his Sugar Baby, can buy him anything he’d consider impressive, you might “give” him an experience. You could visit a cool place you know more about than he does. Or perhaps work on something you can make together. Like pottery. Or sweet, sweet love.
8‒11 points: Your Daddy is a gambler, a risk-taker, a game player (as opposed to a “playah”). He likes the rush of not knowing what’s in store, so consider gifting him with “permission” to play the tables in Vegas to a certain dollar amount. (It’s not that he needs your permission, but if he has a wife or someone else making him feel guilty about his love for gambling, then you are truly giving him something special by providing a “holiday” from feeling bad about it.) Support his love of games of chance!
Consider drawing the line at Russian Roulette, however.
4‒7 points: This Daddy is a dream. He is focused completely on your happiness and would jump off a bridge if you asked him to. So why is he ranked so low, pointwise, on our list? It’s because there’s literally nothing you can buy for this kind of Daddy at a store or even give as a trip or other experience. To make this kind of Daddy happy, you must make yourself happy and let him know. Ask for a little extra allowance and spend the money on a day of spa bliss, then tell him about it. It’s like talking dirty to a man whose biggest desire is a smile on your face.
“I gave my halo to a homeless child. I hope you’re not mad.”
4 points or less: We’re guessing that you didn’t find this “Sugar Daddy” at SeekingArrangement. In fact, we’re guessing you found him when he heard you were looking for a Daddy and stepped in wearing his best velour track suit and faux gold chain. Did he tell you his Mercedes was in the shop and his ’78 Nova was just a loaner? Or that the trailer he lives in is temporary while his palatial mansion is being built on the property? Yeahhhh … the best thing to provide for this kind of alleged Sugar Daddy is some alone time. Like, a lot of alone time. Like, you are giving him back his gumball-machine ring that turned green on your finger after two days alone time. Change your locks, maybe get him picked up on one of his outstanding warrants, and then get on SeekingArrangement to find yourself a real Daddy.
In retrospect, his choice of venue for your first date might have been a bad sign.