5 years ago
It’s a Sugar Wonderland


Fun dates are always in season, but there is something special about the winter that really gets the good times rolling like a snowball going downhill. Luckily, the holiday season is also in full swing, making it the perfect opportunity to get warm and cozy with your hot Sugar date. The winter months are filled with various opportunities for Sugar Babies and their Daddies to catch up and spend some quality time together.

Enjoy the Great Outdoors


Escape the big city and take a snow day—or two! Pack your warmest clothing, and escape to an all- inclusive ski resort.  Unwind in a toasty little cabin and take in the cool mountain air. Or lose yourselves in the winter wonderland of fresh powder by hitting the slopes.

If you’ve always wanted to pick up skiing, this is the time to  take a private couples lesson with a ski instructor. It will definitely be an experience to remember in itself, but also will make future snowy vacations even more fun!

Everybody agrees that one of the coolest ski resort features is the chair lift. An average lift ride will last long enough to enjoy the breathtaking view while sitting warm and tight the entire way. Who cares if you tumble and eat snow on your way down the mountain? Babies, just remember to crash gracefully. Daddies, your job is to get your girl back on her feet.

If snow sports aren’t exactly your thing, let your inner child shine by making snow angels or starting a snowball fight. Looking to get away from the snow? Lace up your ice skates and show off your ice skating skills! (Or learn some!) Whatever you do, please keep your tongue away from frozen poles, even if someone triple dog dares you to do it. A Christmas Story does not need a sequel, thanks.



Heat up the Kitchen

Plan a Sugar date for the kitchen, and make sure you’re both wearing aprons because things are guaranteed to get a little messy. Sweet treats are hard to resist, especially during this time of year. Get those family recipes ready, and Babies, show your Daddy how you put extra ‘sugar’ in Sugar dating!

Ditch your diet and forget about counting those pesky calories. That’s what New Year’s resolutions are for, right? The only thing you’ll be counting is the number of freshly baked goodies you plan to devour. Most people gain weight during winter anyway. Go ahead and pack those extra pounds on so you can stay warm this season.

Or get in touch with your inner Martha Stewart and go for a simple recipe like sugar cookies. Better yet, melt some chocolate and drizzle it over a few pretzels. Don’t forget to have a little fun while you decorate your treats! Who says icing and chocolate should be used strictly for baking? Spice things up a little, you might just find yourself making something sweet together more often!


Staycation And A Movie

If a trip to the mountains doesn’t fit into your busy schedule, plan a “staycation.” There‘is nothing wrong with staying put, especially if you rent out a beautiful suite downtown to give off that vacation vibe. Get the fireplace crackling (or crank up the heat), grab some hot cocoa, and curl up in front of the TV for an evening filled with Christmas favorites.

Whether it’s an animated classic like Frosty the Snowman or action-packed movie like Jingle All the Way with Arnold Schwarzenegger, a holiday flick is sure to fill the living room with a cheery vibe. And who doesn’t like to feel warm and fuzzy inside?

If you prefer more of a holiday Scrooge, that’s okay. Fake it until you make it! Tune out the movie and tune in to a two-hour cuddle session instead. It’s about the quality time anyway. Just be sure to enjoy the evening with your Sugary someone.


Light Up The Night.


City lights are an amazing sight on their own, but once you throw in the holiday twinkle, they dazzle onlookers in the most spectacular way. Daddies, start up that mint 1968 Mustang that sits in the garage all year and take your Baby for a spin!

We all know Babies love things that sparkle, but we aren’t talking diamonds …  this time, at least! Check out the seasonal displays. You’ll fall in love with the festive lights and decor.

Daddies, the bright lights may leave you wondering how high the power bill will be, just be thankful you won’t be the one footing the bill. Simply enjoy the free view, and if you’re lucky, perhaps you’ll come across a mistletoe and end the evening with a holiday smooch.

Snag a New Year’s Kiss


 For many, January 1st may have some feeling “very superstitious,” as Stevie Wonder would sing. These aren’t your everyday rituals such as not walking under a ladder or avoiding the path of a black cat. New Year’s Day ushers in a unique flavor of good and bad luck. For instance, the first person to step into your home in the New Year is said to have a big influence on you for the next 365 days. Some believe that it’s bad luck to repay loans or submit bill payments after midnight on NYE. Who actually believes in this stuff, you ask? Lots of people sure act like they do!

The most popular superstition of all is the magical kiss when the clock strikes 12. This glorious peck is a special tradition for some, but for others, the smooch holds great importance. This kiss can allegedly ensure continued affection in your sugar relationship throughout the next 12 months. Without it, a relationship could turn cold. Why risk that? Avoid the “what ifs” and bring in the year with some sweet sugar.

Let It Snow!

Stay warm out there, and enjoy the winter season! Don’t let this special time pass you by. Be sure to indulge in festive activities before the flowers start blooming and spring allergies begin to kick in.

What activities will you participate in?

Leave a Reply

1,701 Responses to “It’s a Sugar Wonderland”

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  2. Terrell says:

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  3. rosiedear says:

    i find it so hard to find a SD i connect with. been digging for a while for a spontaneous one that has a goofy sense of humor. i cant handle being around a dry sense of humor or someone who looks at negatives! constantly trying to get someone to relax who doesnt want to relax is too much stress for me. got enough stress in my life, dont need it with my SD it should be fun, relaxing, and messy in a good way.

  4. Brittney says:

    i would love to date older men after the holiday season. through out the entire 2015 dating year. i’m a peach. a rare breed of love of tradition with the independence of a modern girl. i like to do pretty much anything. i love having stories to tell . if you’re a girl, i like girls too, happy holidays.

  5. Brittney says:

    i would love to date older men after the holiday season. through out the entire 2015 dating year. i’m a peach. a rare breed of love of tradition with the independence of a modern girl. i like to do pretty much anything. i love having stories to tell . if you’re a girl, i like girls too <333 happy holidays

  6. MissLee says:

    @BeCareful. I am sorry that happened to you. I don’t have very many female friends because they are scandalous.. I think SA should have a rate option on profiles so people can write out their experiences with that person or reviews on SB and SD… if he was cheap.. or if she was blackmailing… things like that… obviously if they are a good SB or SD they will have only good reviews. Of course some people have a fall out… but in that case the SD or SB could explain…. They should ban anyone who violates privacy policy! Just my opinion! :)

  7. AH says:

    @ATLSD thank you so much

  8. Jewgar says:

    Am I the only one that hasn’t had any success on here? :(

  9. flyR says:

    @becareful – Thanks for the informative post. Was there anything early on that was a red flag? Are you an outsized target ? Are you married and being threatened with disclosure ? Does the SB have more than 10 tattoos ?

  10. lola says:

    good read! thanks :)

  11. Be careful says:

    Be careful gentlemen. I am being extorted/blackmailed by a girl from this site. After much investigation, I have come to realize that this is very common. I would hazard a guess that a large percentage of married men will face the same thing. Many (if not most) of the girls on this site manipulate men very well. They will make you think nothing could go wrong and that your secretes are safe, but as soon as they don’t get what you want, you are screwed. If I had to guess, I would say that 20% or more of the girls on this site would use blackmail. So if you meet 5 girls, odds are that one will blackmail you. I have emailed SA about the problem, but they ignored me. They clearly don’t care about women who are abused by bad men or men who are swindled by bad women. If any men are or have faced the same thing, please post it to this blog and anywhere else you can. Do not be ashamed and do not ever give into the blackmail. The FBI will investigate and has in my case. They are going to arrest her soon I believe.

  12. MissLady says:

    @onsd yes, things are different in sugar. Words I would never have to hear in sugar “when am I going to meet your family..”.

    @xero you would be surprised at the number of men who can’t either…

  13. Chrissy says:

    New blog! PapaGuru’s Christmas present was delivered :)

  14. Xero says:

    “wasting time with long distance POTs is just that…wasting time.”

    I did a lot of LD when I first got on SA wanting to get away from local women but the interest quickly wore out. Covering the travel expenses is a waste.

    @ONSD Everyone’s different I guess. For me, When sugar ends so does the “connection”. I’m glad your experience is different but I’ve learned not to keep women in my life if they’re not actively providing something because then they just go into take mode.

    @MissLady THAT is exactly why I’m hesitant to go back to doing it that way. It always gets pulled into something deeper than I need. Women have a hard time keeping it emotionally distant. Women I’ve met on SA have been good at that though.

  15. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – they either think the boyfriend gets a “deal” on the cost…or they really are deranged enough to want the “relationship”…don’t get me wrong, I “like” the relationship, that’s why I’m in sugar…but…I have a hard time believing the “relationship” is the same irl vs sugar!

    I’ve got my irl drama…in sugar, it should be all sweet!

  16. MissLady says:

    Lol there’s a time and place for everything. Just wasn’t my time.

  17. Josh says:

    Are you telling me that the men you have been meeting are idiot enough to try go to the boyfriend status.

    Why on earth a sane man would want to do that? :(

  18. MissLady says:

    Lurker speaking. Coming in to kill time, this day is dragging. Irl SD’s have been hard to pull off, I’ve always had them try to migrate to boyfriend status

  19. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Xero – yeah, it was a bit dicey with the business connections…I felt A LOT more comfortable connecting and exploring when it was a business networking event, rather than an industry event…a bit easier to deal with the “mixed signals” when you’re dealing with someone who has little to help YOU from a networking standpoint, but is someone that has potential to have a “real life” that means an eventual end to the sugar, but doesn’t have to mean an end to the connection…I STILL talk to one on occasion!

  20. Josh says:

    Unless all one wants to do is long distance sugar, as far as I am concerned, wasting time with long distance POTs is just that…wasting time.

  21. Xero says:

    Only exception was I never met them through business activities. That isn’t an option. Even if it was I wouldn’t mix that with business because of disaster potential.

  22. Xero says:

    @ONSD Thanks for the pointers. If I go by your description apparently I’ve already done this many times. I just considered it being chivalrous in ordinary relationships. That’s why I liked SA. It was more straight to the point and took less time. Honestly after being on SA for 3+ years I’m very hesitant to go back to that.

  23. @Alex

    He was my irl partner, so I can’t really draw a parallel with a sugar relationship. Just my experience with an alpha man.

    I think that Scarlett makes some good points in that sometimes you can do everything “right”, and still be baffled by a sudden poof. I do think you chopped livered him a bit, but I get what you mean now regarding having spent the last couplefew days waiting for his “in 15 minutes” calls. It can be hard to know how to balance being available, and being too available. I think that ultimately trial and error is the only way to figure some of this out. Trick is, just when you think you’ve figured it out, the next one throws you for a loop!

  24. Josh says:

    I prefer url as well but since my current business activities don’t bring me in contact with potential SBs organically, I prefer SA.

    When/if my business activities take me to potential SBs or bring them to me then I will cut down on the online activities.

    The last thing I want to do is to waste my time cultivating contacts where the SBs in my neck of the woods typically hang out…restaurants…as I don’t like restaurant food for the most part.

  25. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Xero – the “nice” part of irl attempts at sugar is that you’re out already, you’re not being disappointed at the no-show, you’re just browsing the establishment for what you think you might like…Most of my irl experience has been at business networking or industry educational events…it’s a bit risky at business networking because you don’t want to be that creepo soliciting more than business connections, and could be problematic at industry events because it may be the same crowd at multiple events…I was successful previously by finding a mixed group (gender wise) of professionals at a networking event and finding common ground with the group, usually over utilizing their industry in my professional life (young professionals tend to herd with common interests at networking locally), then it was just a matter of separating from the herd with the target, closing the venue with great conversation and follow-up to solidify the interest…broaching sugar was easier as well, since they aren’t looking for a SD, and most have no experience in sugar, you can typically be more of a gentleman at the beginning, actually courting a bit as you treat her to meals and entertainment, starting to spoil her with gifts rather than allowance…however…if she talks about college loans or a “bad situation” she just got herself in, investigate and help if she seems like a “hand-up” woman…if she presents as a hand-out woman, run…those are trouble irl!

    Also, if she’s new in her career, mentoring is a BIG help too! Talking about initial job negotiations, asking for a raise, that problem co-worker, etc. can all help her transition from school to work and make you out to be her knight in shining armor!

  26. KennaKenna says:

    Hey everyone, who’s up?

    In FL with SD, been here for 4 days, super busy- now leaving Miami strip club and tipsy… :-)

    Happy holidays to everyone!!!

  27. flyR says:

    Chrissy Highly recommend the dasKeyboard very tactile and probably waterproof

  28. Alex says:

    Dang, can’t miss a day here lol.

    @You, sounds like your SD was considerate. I had already spent the last two or three days waiting for him to call, always 15-30 minutes but usuall 2-4 hours. That was the first day I took to actually do what I needed to do instead of wait around for him to call. If he’s expecting that much from me without giving anything in return…what have I really lost out on? Lol.

    @Lady, I get what you’re saying, and your personal experience. I can on a case by case basis, if I thought it would behoove me to not converse so much, I would not. I can tell when people are not in to that kind of thing. I can also tell the people that love to chit chat. I am not doing this because I have to do it, I’m doing it because I want to do it. If this continues to be too much drama, I might as well just go find a boyfriend lol.

  29. FatB'StardSA says:

    Here is an idea. Find a real life hobby instead of posting on a blog. You will never worry about having to scroll through 1,600 posts again.

  30. Xero says:

    @Candi He thinks this is Match.com or POF. Move on and let him pair up with one of the thousands of girls here who think the same.

  31. Xero says:

    @ATLSD Probably yet another very attentive SB on the site (sarcasm here).

    @ONSD You could be right about the marketing machine. I’ll be focusing on meeting someone IRL also. If you have any pointers let me know. I’ve always met my SBs on SA and I’m far better at profiling what makes a good SB online than I’ll probably be IRL because of visual distractions.

  32. @flyR

    You can use the SuperDuper Fast Forward Reply button that Big Suga Papa Guru Josh blessed us with.

    It has changed my life. Now, I’m a believer.


    Surely you own the world’s happiest keyboard. Stickiest….but happiest all the same!

  33. ATLSD says:

    AH click on the “gear” thingy in upper right hand corner, then click account. you should be in settings. very lower right hand corner should be “delete account”.

  34. Jj says:

    Hey!!! congrats!!! Jj Wif!! presented “paper” via text message Tuesday!!!!! Bravo!!!! ;))

  35. Flyr says:

    Almost 1,600 posts. We are about to crash the internet. Pleeeez. A new topic

  36. Chrissy says:

    My reputation on the blog is starting to precede me 😀 I am all humped out though. I have broken 2 keyboards, a cell phone, and an ottoman. Chrissybunny needs to rest and prepare for spring for when mating season will begin! Or maybe I should move onto legs those are warmer too! This snowbunny is sooooo cold, BuRrrRrrr!

  37. flyR says:


    If you find yourself with someone who is otherwise charming I would not go nuclear ( I am sure you did not) but express regrets that you seem to be looking for different things. He may rethink the allowance process . But you did the right thing……. if you do not start with an allowance its improbable that you will end up with one.

    I’m wondering how to handle the impending 6 month sugar review, how to send a very positive message without creating too high future expectations.

  38. ATLSD says:

    I think the Blog goddess is following Chrissy’s lead and humping her furniture.

  39. ATLSD says:

    @ONSD. MY premium membership expired a fees ago. Just weird

    @candy. I think he was a poser SD and treating this site more like POF, Ashmad, AFF
    He was testing to see if you really wanted an arrangement and hoping you just wanted to get laid.

  40. flyR says:


    New Year Sugar Resolutions or simply December 23 This takes forever to load

  41. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Candi – If he’s balking at an allowance at the first meet, you either need to resign yourself to the fact you have a “gentleman” SD (buying your entertainment, meal, etc.) and be good with the connection and possible mentoring you could glean from him…demand something more and see how he takes it (and be prepared for him to back out of the situation)…thank him for his interest, be supportive of the connection YOU felt and let him know that the goals you have in life require more than a night out and excuse yourself from the conversation.

  42. flyR says:

    @Candi I was suggesting you ask him has he ever

    if not then confirm that he is ok with the foundation

    Sounds like it was a reminder rather than new info good luck

  43. Candi says:

    @flyR- I have been in a sugar relationship before. I think he wanted to see if I was the person in my pictures. I agree with you on the filtering. I will make sure to do better in that area.

  44. flyR says:

    @Candi – It sounds like a filter failure.

    for the phone conversation prior to the meet

    Have you had a sugar relationship in the past and how did it work


    Are you sure you are comfortable with the allowance part of the relationship, from what I hear it is often a stumbling block for
    those who have not engaged in a relationship

    I am not trying to push you but there is really no purpose served if you are not prepared to participate

  45. flyR says:


    I have been among the most strident critics of SA for some time (surprised that I have not been tossed), but it does work. It works in big cities and works in smaller towns. It works with 19YO and works with 49 YO .

    Does not take huge allowances, movie star looks etc. Like flyfishing it takes technique, careful preparation and patience+practice

  46. Candi says:

    Hello everyone. Just wanted to give an update. I went on a date last night. We went to a nice casual place for drinks. Very nice gentleman. Cute too! Downside. He has never done the SD/SB relationship before. He stated he only gives allowances to his kids and ex-wife. I tried to steer him from away from the allowance talk since it was our first date. He kept going back to the issue. Other than that I thought we had a connection. He stated I was beautiful, well spoken, etc. He did try to get me to come back to his place. WTF! I am still looking. Any suggestions?

  47. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATLSD – Did your membership expire? I didn’t get an email, but when I viewed my profile it shifted to “Standard Sugar Daddy” because my membership expired….

    @Xero – Only THREE messages so far, since the profile expired…I was actually expecting more. But, then again, one was from Missouri (only about a 6.5 hour drive). The other two, though, were pots I have communicated with before…I’m not sure I believe they reached out again after 2 months of inactivity…I think it’s a marketing ploy 😉

    I’m already looking at the conference and training calendar for a couple of associations and organizations I belong to for next year…I may need to focus on getting out there and meeting someone irl…this site is a waste!

  48. AH says:

    I’m on my computer

  49. Lol. Awww…it’s not that bad, is it, babe?

    Will papa guru tuck me in, and tell me the frightening tale of how the overweight blog ate the universe?

  50. Josh says:

    I think that she is waiting for the blog to load so that she may post.

    Still wondering when they will post a new article do that this fucking page starts loading quickly. :(

  51. “Chrissy says:
    December 21, 2014 at 5:07 pm
    vdljkhtjhjyyht’hjt’htj’h Merry Chrissymas!”

    Hahaha! So much for the home row.

    “ATLSD says:
    December 21, 2014 at 7:41 pm
    @xero. I guess we scared her???”

    Quite possibly. This blog could otherwise be known as The Fear Factor.

  52. ATLSD says:

    @xero. I guess we scared her???

  53. Xero says:

    We’re hilarious…..

  54. ATLSD says:

    Hi Nicole. Welcome to the jungle. Don’t be afraid to post we need fresh SB blood here.
    Keep in mind there ain’t no Christian Greys on here. Have fun and be realistic.

  55. ATLSD says:

    @southern. Standard Wealthy Male,” I wonder what they call the men that come on the site who’s income are only five figure”
    Good question cause I don’t even know what my title means. I think they made a new title category’s to entice the SB. More BS marketing.

  56. Nicole says:

    You guys are HILARIOUS!! Haha. I enjoy reading your guys posts. Especially @Lainey &@Kenna. I have a question and please feel free to chime in…As a newbie, what would your advice be as to meeting a quality SD? And being a good SB? Forgive me if these questions are too broad lol. Idk anything about ANY of this. Happy Holidays to you all! :)

  57. Chrissy says:

    vdljkhtjhjyyht’hjt’htj’h 😀 Merry Chrissymas!

  58. ATLSD says:

    Apparently the SB’s have found full size keyboards today. Except Chrissy she found one but couldn’t help herself and humped her keyboard.

  59. Eloquence says:

    Ode to a Bow (Bow-of-a-present)

    Jingle, Jangle, with bells on I wrangle amidst the shiny garland, so shiny upon my tree.

    Oh me, oh my, oh dear, what have I, but a tangle as I jangle, for in the blink of an eye, now the tinseled and glittered one is me. Yippie!

  60. [chimes in with the chorus]


    How much do I owe you, big suga papi guru?

  61. Hehe…auto correct can be pure evil.

  62. Empress says:

    Really enjoyed the new article .

  63. Ladyscarlett says:

    When emailing work things, it always turns ‘to’, ‘so’ and ‘go’ into ”yo’ and ‘ho’. Really, autocorrect? Are these words used more? Hehehe, maybe, it senses my evillleee nature.

    Josh, if your voice is sexy, then sugar sabotage bedtime stories might be a good business venture…Sabowtage’, ‘say it with me ladies, sab-bow-tage”…learn it, say it, avoid at all costs’, says big suga papi guru.

  64. Ladyscarlett says:

    My autocorrect always does that…Freudian slip, ygbkm?

  65. PapaGuru…hehe. Has a nice ring to it.

    I propose “Bedtime Stories with PapaGuru: The Adventures of Sugar Sabotage”.

    Coziest night’s sleep ever.

  66. Scarlett,

    I’m sorry that things have been rough with your family member. I hope you’ve been coping well. Would be nice to catch up. My email is yougottabekiddingme2014 at gmail.

    “I had to cancel meeting on him, once, due ho work…”

    Haha! I got a good chuckle out of that typo ;-p.

  67. Josh says:

    Well SBs bring their whinning tales looking for sympathy. I merely identify sabotaging elements of those stories. The elements, which are otherwise blamed on men.

    Women are totally oblivious of something called “cause and effect”. 😉

  68. Chrissy says:

    I thought YOU were my PAPA!?! I have been deceived again! You give the best bedtime stories of sabotaging SBs and stern lecturing guru talks! :( Now who will send me to bed.

  69. Ladyscarlett says:

    Hey yougottabe…how are you? I have a family member who is in pretty bad shape(for awhile now), and have not used that old email you have of mine in some time. Could I email you from my regular mail? What is your email again? Xx

  70. Josh says:


    “I am just glad I found my biological daddy on here”

    How long was he missing for, and what kind of SBs he is looking for here? 😉

  71. Ladyscarlett says:

    @alex, also, I have had many poofers, lately…well, since being on SA. Even with no excuse and thinking all the boxes have been ticked with my presenting myself in the best way, and him showing the utmost interest–even then, a perfectly good ‘poof’ has happened. Who knows why or what little thing I might have or ‘have not’ done. He might have found another candidate, or just lonely and looking for strictly phone chat. There have been several who claimed to want to meet, even tell me that they were or would be in my city that day, and could I ‘meet them that evening’. Even those…even those have poofed occasionally. Even the most difficult math problem in the world is no match for trying to decipher human behaviour….I mentioned the texting thing because about two months ago, had a great pot. He was very interested and he even did a few things for me, which were very kind of him. He lived in my city, but always out of town. Anyway, he loved my picture, as it is mysterious and intriguing. I had to cancel meeting on him, once, due ho work, and he had to cancel on me a couple times as well. In between, we kept texting here and there….after awhile, the mystery seems to have faded a bit, and it kind of fizzled out, before it started, if that makes sense? In my experience, and someone else I know that does this, when an arrangement happens, it often happens quickly, even if he is long distance. I have a couple of exceptions to this rule, but they are exceptions for a reason.

  72. Howdy, Lainey!

    Congratulations on the Golden Family Reunion, Chrissy :D.

    Rock on, Sexy…glad you’re sorting things out :).

    I miss you, Scarlett!

  73. Josh says:

    @Sexy, that’s a pragmatic approach and best of success with everything in your life!

  74. Ladyscarlett says:

    Alex, I just meant that sometimes, when people give too many details(like canceling or rescheduling)before knowing each other well that it can be suspect. I know you were being honest, but just in my experience and opinion.

    I dunno, I guess, if he is coming to visit your city, then you should drop what you are doing and speak with him…but, am not a big fan of the sugar daddies who text and call a lot, or demand too much attention, before you even meet…you mentioned he is long winded. I generally am against talking on phone before meeting, unless they are long distance. And, texting can ruin the mystery sometimes. I guess, it just depends, but if an arrangement in not in place, then do not think you owe him anything as to drop what you are doing quite yet. But, instead of giving him all the details of your two movies, niece crying and such, would have just said you were with family watching movies, and could not speak that
    moment…or, even answered the phone and said the same, as yougottbe said, and ask, ‘can you ring him back later in evening, or the next day?’. That is all I meant….

  75. SexyRockstar says:

    Hello Sugars!

    I am back from Vegas and I had a wonderful time. I also had time to think about my whole situation.

    I’ve been very lucky with my success on SA. I’ve met so many douchebags but after years of being in the sugar world and taking some time to myself…I realized what I really want.

    Do I need a Sugar Daddy? NO, but I want one. The connection I have with Drummer is out of this world. He means a lot to me. I don’t want to let him go. Weather or not him and I continue with an arrangement, him and I shared too much. He’s my lover, but most importantly….my friend. It’s the connection that no matter what, it will never go away. I know I have an important place in his heart. He can bang whomever he wants to. I know my place in his life and frankly, that’s way better then I can imagine. He’s made decisions to see me when he lives out of state. He never had to. He wanted to. He has seen me laugh, cry, sleep, spill a drink on myself, knows a lot about my personal life….and he has cheered me on. He has also taught me important lessons about life in general. He is married…miserable. It’s sad. He’s put his love for music way behind. I will never ever do that to myself. If I find someone outside of this, he must accept me for who I am:
    -A Mother
    -Guitar Player
    I love him…but he’s made me see how much I really do love myself, and my love I have for other people.

    Now, as for Ninja. He is amazing. Funny thing is…I actually think him and drummer would get along amazing. I am keeping Ninja. He is VERY successful and I want to latch onto that. He young. I am free on weekends and during the day in-between students and while my kids are at school/day care. Ninja will be simply for the enjoyment of me breaking away my every-day life to have fantastic sex with and swap ideas with.

    As much as I fantasized about being exclusive…that doesn’t exist. Why should I only be with one person…when I was dating away from sugar…I had many men. Both of these men have wives to go home to. Why can’t I have someone to “come home to” I want my cake and eat it too. I want the emotional connection I have with drummer…yet the new exciting feeling with Ninja. I’ve told drummer I am going to keep talking to Ninja. It’s not like I am going to be swapping out stories on who is better sexually or anything like that. Ninja knows I still talk to Drummer. If either one of them ask…then I will tell them. Ninja has not asked to be exclusive and Drummer doesn’t expect that out of me.

    My goals haven’t changed. My kids are always number 1. The money I get from either one of my SDs is to continue working on my career path while MY income is going towards providing a roof over my kids heads, food on the table, and the coolest fuckn clothes any kid could wear. The men are just there to be my sex-part time boyfriend-mentor.

    I am going to think of it as me posting a sexy picture of Facebook once a week and seeing all the likes I get. I get the attention we all secretly crave and an emotional need met.

  76. Chrissy says:

    I am just glad I found my biological daddy on here :)

  77. awwww mannnn…

    Just when my rack was feeling optimistic :(.

    [cuddles rack, discovers a half eaten Dorito]

  78. Josh says:


    Please allow me to remind you. This is an SD website and not a website to find a rich boyfriend.

  79. Xero says:

    “And I will note that games are not to be played on my end but probably will on theirs.”

    Shouldn’t be. Keep looking.

  80. Alex says:

    @Josh, I don’t understand the reasoning for the second chopped liver lol. I get what you’re saying. It’s just his profile had stated he wasn’t sensitive like that lmao…now I know that’s a red flag. I’ve moved on, trust me lol. And I will note that games are not to be played on my end but probably will on theirs.

    @Flyr My playmate? LOL, you mean my niece? And he is a long winded person, there is no briefest of breaks when conversing with him.

    @Lady ^ That’s exactly why I was specific, vagueness usually breeds suspicion.
    Also, we did have that sort of relationship, he told me a lot about himself as well. We genuinely got along and a lot of the time we were texting or talking about philosophy, psychology or some other topic.

  81. “@You Isn’t that kind of oxymoronic though? To be Alpha enough to expect me at every beck and call, but then feel bad about telling me what to do. If you’re an Alpha, and I ask you if you want me to do something, and you say no, I ass-u-me (to borrow from Josh) you mean no. Otherwise, how the hell are you the Alpha?”

    Try to read me out on this one. He called you when he was able, when he had set aside a moment to talk with you. He told you, by the mere act of calling you, that he, one, wanted to talk with you, and two, wanted you to make yourself available to talk with him. Those are given. It is not his position, having already been patient with your tutoring session and first movie, to tell you what to do upon your inquiry. It is your position, having been gracious of his patience, to be receptive of his request to speak to you. To dismiss his call, and reply with a text was a bad move, in my opinion. It probably would have been an opportune time to say to your niece, “Aunty has to take a phone call, I’ll be right back.” Your pot might’ve been appreciative yet considerate of the fact that you’d stepped away to take his call.

    I know that family time is precious. Ha…sometimes even a trap. I just think it would be helpful to be more aware of how innocent intentions can lead to sugar sabotage (yes, Joshbabe…I know). In many cases, the pot won’t tell you that you’re sabotaging (won’t tell you to step away from your movie upon your inquiry), he’ll just allow you to accumulate dings until he ultimately decides he has sufficient reason to next you.

    And, I dunno, I suppose he could just be an anal prick, or perhaps has just been tied up with things. Either way, I think that what Ive noted would be feasible, and likely expected in any pot exchange…alpha or not.

    My far away partner (ex partner?, yeah, I think it’s official) is alpha. When he calls (generally when I’m not working), I answer. Most specifically if he’s told me he is going to call me. On the other hand, when I call him (specifically if we’ve discussed speaking, and generally when he’s not working), he answers. Even if just out of consideration and assurance. If he’s with company, he’ll tell me so. We speak briefly, I send my love to him and his company, and allow him the out by closing the conversation before he does. He’ll generally send me a picture at some point to share a bit of his evening. Thoughtful and appreciated. I should note that this is an IRL relationship where issues of discretion do not apply. I would think, though, that the common consideration is transferable.

  82. Lainey says:

    Howdy yall.

  83. LadyScarlett says:

    sometimes, it is better not to give them too many details, especially, in regards to family things before you even meet. If someone gives too many details, then it can sound like an ‘excuse’ to avoid communicating, even though you were being open. To be honest, I do not even want to text with a pot, or speak with him on phone before meeting(except, maybe a short convo or Skype convo, if he is long distance). texting all the time and talking about too many details can result in ruining the discovery, in person, and take away some of the mystery and intrigue, before meeting. Of course, this depends on the manner of the relationship, but have had less than ideal outcome, if texting too much before meeting. Someone looking for more of a traditional relationship would not care as much as someone who is looking for an escape from his reality. It can be better to just be vague about being busy, with POTs, but then give them a time, in regards to talking or ask when it is a good time for them to speak later.

  84. flyR says:

    “He might feel a little slighted that you didn’t make time for him between the movies. ”

    I agree with the above but there were trouble signs earlier .

    If I was told that you needed to watch a movie and then needed to watch another without the briefest of breaks to call I would wonder if your playmate wanted seconds of a more intimate nature.

    But as noted above the question of arrival time seems to have been poorly communicated by him. It is not unusual for someone who is working hard to have to shift schedules but that’s where communication matters.

    There is also the chance that he was interviewing others and made a change. It works both ways …..

  85. Josh says:


    ‘Kinda brings to mind the “chopped liver” scenario mentioned by another blogger.’

    Sweetheart, the concept of “chopped liver” was brought into the blog consciousness by none other than @Josh Guru. 😉

  86. Josh says:

    “So I realized Thursday, that I misunderstood POT and he wasn’t flying out Friday, he would know Friday when he would be able to.”


    “Everything was going great most of Thursday, I was tutoring my cousin for the majority of the day and told SD I would be available for a call afterward.”

    Chopped liver…take one.

    “So I let SD know that I am finished and can chat, he says he’ll call in 15.”

    Chopped liver…take two.

    “Two hours later I’m watching a movie with my neice (who doesn’t see me as often as she’d like and cries if I leave the room), SD calls. I text him and let him know I was finishing up a movie with my neice and he says to take my time.”

    Chopped liver…take three.

    “Since I don’t spend much time with my neice I asked SD if he would mind if I watched a second movie.

    Chopped liver grand finale

    “This was Thursday evening…here we are Saturday night and I’ve still heard nothing.”

    Move on sweetheart…you chopped livered him good.

    “I’m just confused because he seemed genuinely into me…like more so than I was in him.”

    Isn’t that special? 😉

    “I thought we were in the sugar bowl to avoid drama/mind games =/”

    Female games, that is, sweetheart.

  87. SouthernSB says:

    ATLSD-If you are a “Standard Wealthy Male,” I wonder what they call the men that come on the site who’s income are only five figures? Not that I can even understand why they are here anyway.

  88. Alex says:

    @ATL No, I wouldn’t want the type of SD that is gonna trip on me spending time with my family. I would expect even the most Alpha SD to be okay with that because this is Sugar, not a relationship. We are expected to have lives outside of each other. And THANKS! I was hoping I went in the right direction with that. Did they tell you what “Standard Wealthy Man” meant?

    @You Isn’t that kind of oxymoronic though? To be Alpha enough to expect me at every beck and call, but then feel bad about telling me what to do. If you’re an Alpha, and I ask you if you want me to do something, and you say no, I ass-u-me (to borrow from Josh) you mean no. Otherwise, how the hell are you the Alpha?

    Sidenote: my goodness blogging is SOOOOOOOOOO much easier from a comp than phone…

  89. Xero says:

    @SouthernSB I understand where you’re trying to go on this but the girls who do this aren’t the naive type.

    “I thought we were in the sugar bowl to avoid drama/mind games =/”

    Ideal but not factual

  90. @Alex

    He might feel a little slighted that you didn’t make time for him between the movies. Kinda brings to mind the “chopped liver” scenario mentioned by another blogger. I know that it took him 2 hours to call “in 15 minutes”, but relationships with alpha men aren’t exactly democratic. I’m gonna say that if you knew he’d fall asleep on you, then it probably would have been ideal to call him before he did…even if you had to go to the restroom, and sneak in a brief, sexy whisper call. He wouldnt have insisted that you take a break from your movie at your own inquiry. That’d maybe be perceived as an ass move. But surely he would’ve appreciated you doing so at your own unsolicited initiation. So, I think it might’ve been better to send a text reading, “I’m sorry I didn’t catch you before you fell asleep. Would’ve loved to have tucked you in. Im looking forward to hearing your voice, and an uninterrupted moment tomorrow.”

    Also, It’s a busy time of year. He could possibly be in the company of his family who cries when he leaves them. Another thing…that he has been online is no real indicator of how busy he may or may not be.

    Send him a text, something sweet, subtly enticing, and ask when you can make yourself available to him.

  91. ATLSD says:

    @all. I just received and email from SA that I am now classified as a “Standard Wealthy Man”. Apparently they have change category names.

  92. ATLSD says:

    @Alex. That’s a tough on. Give it few days. He May have felt slighted after few days calm down and get back with you. But on the flip side if is getting tweaked about you spending time with family is that the kind of SD you want?

    P.S. I like your profile narrative now.

  93. Alex says:

    Looks like no one is home, but I’m FINALLY on a real computer so need to get this long ass post out now.

    So I realized Thursday, that I misunderstood POT and he wasn’t flying out Friday, he would know Friday when he would be able to. That’s kind of irrelevant, but just to keep info concurrent. Everything was going great most of Thursday, I was tutoring my cousin for the majority of the day and told SD I would be available for a call afterward. So I let SD know that I am finished and can chat, he says he’ll call in 15. Two hours later I’m watching a movie with my neice (who doesn’t see me as often as she’d like and cries if I leave the room), SD calls. I text him and let him know I was finishing up a movie with my neice and he says to take my time. Since I don’t spend much time with my neice I asked SD if he would mind if I watched a second movie. He says he is cool with it, I even text him part way through to see if he wanted me to just step outside to chat. He says he’s fine and yadda yadda yadda. So after the movie I call him on my headset while on my way home. No answer. When I got home, I said something along the lines of “I knew you’d fall asleep on me blah blah blah good night.” This was Thursday evening…here we are Saturday night and I’ve still heard nothing. I did some investigating and he’s been online, so it’s definitely not just a too busy issue. Luckily I hadn’t sent him any pics or done any extra curricular skyping. I’m just confused because he seemed genuinely into me…like more so than I was in him. Not only that but, why not just say, “hey I don’t feel like doing this anymore” or anything really instead of just disappearing. Only thing I can think of is that he felt neglected by my being busy? He was very into the whole Alpha male philosophy. But if that were the case why pretend to be nonchalant about it? I thought we were in the sugar bowl to avoid drama/mind games =/

    @Struggle, glad to see you are holding your head up hun =)

  94. ATLSD says:

    The rack is back. Always glad to help

  95. SouthernSB says:

    Xero-Maybe they are not escorts, maybe they are just naive, like all those girls who use to think that you had to give boys a BJ just to get them to “like you.”

  96. Chrissy says:

    I always feel like such a loser on the weekends. I am ready to go to bed before 8pm.

    Will you tuck me in papa?

  97. [honks horn obnoxiously]

    Vroom vroom…

  98. Completely typed my email wrong!

    Thank you, ATL :).

    My rack is back, my rack is back! Rackiest rack of all :D.

  99. Xero says:

    I wish women would at least send a short msg before they grant me access to their private photos. It just makes me think “escort”.

  100. ATLSD says:

    @y. Check your email address if you type it wrong. It won’t get the avatar.

  101. SouthernSB says:

    Opps that “Secret Lives of the Super Rich” darned show is so surreal I can’t even get my brain around it.

  102. SouthernSB says:

    Anybody ever watch “Lifestyles of the Super Rich?”

  103. :( but it was the juiciest rack of them all. Should’ve absorbed the impact.

  104. Josh says:

    @y rack got involved in an accident, it seems. 😉

  105. Hey! What happened to my rack?!

  106. Ladyscarlett says:

    Ah, okay. Well, I am sure the selling point in his speech to you was how attractive he must have sounded after employing all these 300 for $300, cigarette stinking, sweat pant wearing, late appointment making low end escorts…wasn’t that a turn-on for you? :-/ Geesh, like a said, what a clueless tosser he was. Sorry that happened, Chrissy….

  107. ATLSD says:

    @AH. Are u on computer, Iphone IPad ?
    I think it’s in different spots

  108. AH says:

    Nope, still can’t find it.

  109. Chrissy says:

    He was calling me a high class escort (and other women on this site looking for nonhourly rates) not the women who frequent his house wearing sweat pants and smelling of smoke that always deliver his handjobs as expected.

  110. Josh says:

    *more like rookie than amateur.

  111. ATLSD says:

    @AH. Go to your account and should a link on bottom that says “delete this account”

  112. Josh says:

    “high class escort”

    I don’t know what a high class escort is but it is my guess that armature SBs envy Pretty Woman’s rags to riches tale than comparing their allowances with a high class escort, whatever that means.

    I also ass-u-me that every time Pretty Woman is rerun most if not all living, breathing women clear their schedules to watch it yet one more time AND force their projects to watch it with them? 😉

  113. LadyScarlett says:

    Oh, but I meant that $300 was very cheap, and a high class escort would be more than this…hehe.

  114. AH says:

    Can anyone help me on how I close my account on SA?

  115. Chrissy says:

    Yes onto to the next! Glad with the holidays I at least get a recovery period from that!
    I didn’t ask exactly how he was spending $300 dollars a day. If that was for 3 hours or if based on where his house is they knew he had more money and were charging him more or if he was just being generous with them. All I could think was how LUCKY I was to find this out now rather than later on when I would want to buy a new body knowing where his had been.

  116. LadyScarlett says:

    “ATLSD says:
    December 19, 2014 at 5:37 pm
    @lady. I agree there are just as many Whacked SD’s. After reading what ONSD found searching for SD sites. These sites telling guys how to be posers. The POt SB I actually met all had a SD horror story. Struggles brought this up. That there are guys that would never get a date with some of these hot SB.’

    yes, most all of us have a horror story or two, unfortunately….

  117. LadyScarlett says:

    Chrissy, I do not know what is more disturbing about that story…the guy telling you he had been with 300 escorts, in the past eight months, or that his idea of a high priced escort is one who is always flaky/late and looks like shit for $300 a day…clueless twat he was.

  118. StruggleIsReal says:

    I am sorry you had to chance upon such a miserable individual. I’m glad you don’t take the manifestation of his dismal wreckage personally, otherwise I would be advising you not to. Thank you for sharing sweets. Shock does exist to serve us well in the face of such things…. Keeps us from engaging in situations that are far beyond our reach. Onto the next!

  119. Chrissy says:

    Yes! My meal was delicious! Lobster and shrimp stuffed fish of some sort, I cannot remember now. With a lemon caper sauce and asparagus and red mashed potatoes! I didn’t lose my appetite at all. I should have ordered dessert to take home.

  120. ATLSD says:

    Lots and lots of luv flowing your way today<3

  121. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy. That story will dry up most women like the Mojave desert. One must always find a positive in life’s adventures. You got a free meal out of it.

    @josh. Is Mr. Roper

  122. Chrissy says:

    I should have proofread that before posting, my outrage and shock at the incident clouded my typing, ha.

  123. Chrissy says:

    Only for you sweetie :) Well long story short. He seemed perfect until half way through dinner, he was even really funny. Until he didn’t like something I said about not wanting to discuss my expectations over dinner in public since the restaurant was really crowded. He then unleashed into this story of why he was looking for a SB because he is tired of the flakiness of escorts because he has been with over 300 of them in the past 8 months (although of course only for handjobs and blowjobs because he would never actually fck one). And that SBs although not always as flaky (he commended me for being on time and being attractive like my pictures) he said we are normally conniving and not upfront and his money seems to be better spent on $300 a day on escorts who at least will at least “get the job done even if they look like shit and are an hour late.” Then he also pretty much was telling me why as a whole why we need to stop pretending we are better then just higher priced escorts. I honestly do not know why I didn’t leave at some point during the meal I was just in shock I think. I was truly mortified.

  124. StruggleIsReal says:

    Let’s hear it (about your horrific POT meet). I’m in need of a worthy distraction at the moment.

  125. flyR says:

    @Chrissy – only with the special recipe chocolate sauce

  126. Chrissy says:

    Is it just me or does Josh actually want to be my Daddy? Always bossing me around! 😉 I totally fell asleep with the lights on though.

    And how did I never realize how much of a perv flyR is.

  127. flyR says:

    @Chrissy – Bake cookies, you deserve some oral gratification . ……..

  128. Josh says:


    Go to bed. 😉

  129. Chrissy says:

    Of course!
    I feel in the mood to bake cookies or something, it is waaaay past my bedtime.

  130. ATLSD says:

    I know. Big hands little keyboard. Will u forgive me?

  131. Chrissy says:

    Your chronic spelling errors due to auto correct really hurts you.

  132. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy. Wait can’t you counsel yourself.
    Ok we are here for you. Let’s here it.

  133. Chrissy says:

    There are no words for the horrific POT date I was just on and he seemed so normal 😐 I need PTSD counseling

  134. ATLSD says:


  135. ATLSD says:

    @all Have any of you done the back ground check. And if so why?

  136. ATLSD says:

    @lady. I agree there are just as many Whacked SD’s. After reading what ONSD found searching for SD sites. These sites telling guys how to be posers. The POt SB I actually met all had a SD horror story. Struggles brought this up. That there are guys that would never get a date with some of these hot SB.

  137. Josh says:

    New article is long over due. If there’s no article just report Brandon’s musings please.

  138. Grayson says:

    Interesting article.

  139. Ladyscarlett says:

    Very young*

  140. Ladyscarlett says:

    The women aren’t the only ones. Case in point, a man I have been corresponding with, whose net worth is listed as quite high and he seems legitimate, and mid 40’s, quite attractive to boot..,anyways, after quite a few lovely messages, he sent a message about how he is just ‘a fly on the wall about the site’, and is not sure it is for him, and it is a good study of human behaviour. He then went on to tell me a story about a vey young lady, that he was not interested in, but think his telling me about it was meant to make me feel bad, or that arrangements are ‘creepy and bad idea’. I can understand there are very lost and sad, both men and women, on SA, but why focus on them? Why are these men who do not even seem to be interested in an arrangement, on the site? They are trying to turn it into a regular dating site?

  141. Xero says:

    Saw one of the two main POTs I’ve had this time around completely reinvent herself. Looks like she has a new name, new life story, and even a new race lol.

    Looks like I made the right call about that one!

    **This was the girl who lied to me about wanting long term then slipped that she would be leaving the state in March.

  142. Xero says:

    Yes KennaKenna 98% of the girls on this site now fall into that category. This place is like a whose who of con artists and ghetto rats. At least in my area.

  143. KennaKenna says:

    I said all that to say the young, model types maybe “rinsers”, not genuinely interested in older men, will try to milk you for as much $$ as possible, and the icing on the cake is they usually have a boyfriend who sometimes know about you and help spend your money.

  144. KennaKenna says:

    @All I’ll share a story about the way “young girls” think. I moved from the island I grew up to the US when I was just 16, did my undergrad and masters in Chicago and moved to NY about 3 years ago.

    When I was moving to NY, my mom reached out to me and said a family friend’s 21 yr old daughter was moving here as well to pursue makeup/modeling and we should live together, and help each other.

    I’ve always been super independent, worked through college and after undergrad, I stopped taking money from my parents. I worked odd jobs like RA and TA positions to cover my necessities and had a SD to cover my wants/luxury splurges.

    So my new roommate who is super lazy, she’s a 11/10, smoking hot, mixed, is struggling with her portion of the rent so I told her maybe she should get a SD. She attracted every man in the room everytime we would go out but somehow when they left with her number, they’d never get back to her. She ended up creating a profile on SA and was using it to “con men” out of Chanel purses on the second date.

    I tried to explain to her that she could have 1 SD who could take care of her, but yes she’d have to sleep with him. No, she told her hood boyfriend from the Bronx about this site and he advised her she should “scam” as much men as possible. She got a few gifts here and there but I eventually had to kick her out.

    That is how typical young, SBs think. This is why the older ones maybe a lot more successful.

  145. KennaKenna says:

    @Struglle glad everything is going well and you’re okay. Stay strong, and lots of hugs.

  146. Ladyscarlett says:

    Hehe, speaking of travel, I remember last year, I had a wanna be potential SD who was very interested, but eventually let me know that he was just interested in traveling to Europe occasionally, or offering a trip there, for an SB. I spas is travel was okay, but then he explained more that ‘travel’ was the allowance…hehe, I told him, ermm, well considering I used to live overseas, then, no, travel in lieu of an arrangement allowance would not be acceptable. I mean, really? There are all kinds on this site :-/

    The women who are desperate to travel…I do not get this. I mean, understand wanting to add excitement and intrigue in exotic and beautiful locations, but this is actually more of an investment n time and attention for an SD…and, I would expect and require more allowance, due to taking time off of my job. If I want to travel, then I travel on my own. Some of these girls should focus more on their careers, then travel on their own, if it is important to them, and not depend on an SD or put themselves in a place of desperation for anything….

  147. ATLSD says:

    @struggles. :)
    Glad to see your hanging in there. Not sure if u did it but you might want to hide your profile until this is over. One less thing to worry about.

  148. ATLSD says:

    “They think “desperate old men” will do anything to get access to what’s between their legs.”

    Yea for sure delusions of $$$

    I used to some a line about being able to travel. I travel a lot thought it would nice to take someone once in a while. I had to take that off most of my POTs we’re desperate to travel. That was suppose to a little side bonus.

  149. StruggleIsReal says:

    Just wanted to pop in say how much I appreciate the kind thoughts and words many of you have expressed towards me and my family right now. Things are going amazingly well all things considered. There’s a lot of love and support here which has seriously been a lifeline for everyone grieving.

    With all this going on I have had to postpone first meetings with some POTs and am slower in communications with them. Of course I realize this has the risk of appearing as the cliche SB flakiness, but everyone has seemed understanding about it. I send them the link to the news report and because my story corroborates, I guess they realize it’s legit. It’s also been interesting to see how they respond. All have been kind and empathetic as one should hope for, except one who simply responded to me by asking for pictures and telling me how he’d like to get to know me more, asking questions about myself etc and not even alluding to the situation. Pretty sure he’s getting dropped as a POT. I don’t even care to share a coffee with someone who won’t even offer a simple “my condolences”.

    “Convict’s wife”
    omg RUN, don’t walk! Sheesh. LoL

  150. Xero says:


    Voice verify? What exactly are we verifying? That we have a voice? Is this woman afraid of potential bots?

    Re: Current Topic
    Yes most of these girls are delusional but that’s the common theme of reality these days to a lot of people in the 18-25 age bracket.

  151. Dazed-SD says:

    @Kenna, “They think “desperate old men” will do anything to get access to what’s between their legs.”
    And some of that reputation is well deserved on the mens part. I mean how many men have we read/heard about who basically fucked away the kindom over whats between a womens legs. However, most men of means that I know are smarter than that, and some women don’t understand that point.

  152. flyR says:

    I do think that a lot of them have bought the SA line that sugar will pay your rent , living expenses , college tuition, vacation in Paris , lavish gifts . It will if you happen to get the ear of the former Clippers owner or such, but for the other 99.99% it’s a much more modest proposition. It’s not a surprise that the 21 yo are not the ones getting the top allowances , probably more likely their age begins with a 3 or even a 4.

    SA has also given delusions of luxury to an army of backpage bims. My guess is that the stockholder see the firm being valued on it’s number of participants rather than the frequency of quality relationships.

  153. KennaKenna says:

    @Dazed @ATL they don’t know any better. They think “desperate old men” will do anything to get access to what’s between their legs.

  154. ATLSD says:

    “I just shake my head. Do some of these women think us men are that stupid.”

    Yes. The younger ones forget they are not dealing with 20 yr olds

  155. Dazed-SD says:

    @josh,,rack is too bad, nothing like Lainey of course but it would do ! LOL

    @online, sometimes I just shake my head. Do some of these women think us men
    are really that stupid !

    @Flyr, thats the same thought that ran through my mind. Some people just give Detroit a bad name.

    @Kenna, your absolutely right, the first meeting would be a mess..LOL

  156. ATLSD says:

    “like Santa with my red sweater and black lace up boots.”

    Sounds like your Dominatrix Santa outfit 😉

  157. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Dazed – Hahahahaha…I JUST got a message from that SAME profile that gave me access to her private pic…no actual message, just the “you can view my pics” standard!

    For asking Substantial…WOW…a little out of her league, although, maybe she’s used to getting a couple thousand per “appearance” and figures that means she should be in the Substantial category?

  158. Chrissy says:

    I just realized I am dressed a little bit like Santa with my red sweater and black lace up boots.

  159. flyR says:

    @Dazed – With her attitude she’s probably destined for the streets. Sounds like it was written by a druggie SA really should purge those

  160. Josh says:


    Not getting too hung up with her desire for “Substantial” allowance, if her rack is natural and she has a bachelors degree even from a collage, she does not have to worry about getting men interested for at least 10 more years. 😉

  161. ATLSD says:

    How is this for a profile header.

    “Convicts Wife”


  162. ATLSD says:

    Oh the weather outside is frightful but the Chrissy inside is delightful. ….

  163. KennaKenna says:

    @Dazed haha, if they come on the blog- I’ll gladly help. Some SBs don’t understand first impressions go a long way and how you present yourself in your profile is your first impression.

    But for some of the SBs, even if I wrote their ENTIRE profile for them, they’d still fumble on the first meet as they won’t be able to adequately represent what was written in the profile. I think SA should do a cleanse and get rid of all bad SB/SD profiles.

  164. flyR says:

    @erica – how far from the mountains are you

  165. Dazed-SD says:

    @online,, how about this great profile, 25, substanial,

    “About Me

    I’m not a bullshitter we’re all on this site to get what we want message me if you’re interested.

    What I’m looking for

    you take care of my needs I’ll give you your wants. I dont negotiate so if ur on a budget or jard times, f#&$^ off. if u don’t like what I have go to the next chick, i could careless .i get plenty of men who apreciate me with out me even trying.”

    @Kenna,, could you please give POT SB’s a lesson on how to write a profile ! 😉

  166. Dazed-SD says:

    @online,, Yes I’ve seen that one ! LOL I thought to myself, oh yeh ! I gotta write to her,,,NOT !

  167. Erica says:

    I have truly never seen snow! I would love to experience it atleast once in my life!!!

  168. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Dazed – Have you seen this one yet? 21yo from your side of the state:
    Fun, cool, love money, take care of my business and very intelligent.
    Looking For:
    Looking for a NSA arrangement. I am fun and understanding and I also value my time and yours. Only serious inquiries.

    and when the profile headline is riddled with “$”…sad is all I have to say…this should not be approved on a site that wants to be different than backpage or craigslist!

  169. Chrissy says:

    Oh no, I only have one wife dissing POT and in all honestly he just seems like a big pussy who has let (and likely still lets) his wife do whatever she wants in the past. I enjoy his depraved thoughts and telling him to do things like hide his wife’s wallet and suggesting other silly things like calling her and making her listen to us having sex. Do I believe he does any of these things, not at all. Would I ever suggest anything that would harm her or be illegal, of course not. Am I adding some sort of evil influence into his mind that he is craving, sure. It is just amusement for me.

    These other two men just messaged me on here this week and were suddenly talking about their ex-wives. I am not interested in them or pursuing them in any fashion. I do not like mopey men.

  170. Josh says:


    Maybe you need to dump you wife-bitching POTs. It is one thing to having issues with one’s woman but constantly discussing it with SBs is not healthy.

    The flip side is that these men are ideal blackmail material. :(

  171. Chrissy says:

    Why can I never spell my own email address right.

    On a positive note, gas is at $2.03 cents right now, it is like a Christmas miracle!

  172. Chrissy says:

    Living in a safe house. Well doesn’t she just sound low maintenance and drama free. At least she mentioned “If I come off sounding wrong please inform me” although I doubt she could handle it.

    Twice this week I have had guys tell me graphic stories about their divorces and yet they don’t even know I work in counseling rather the medical field. Who knew they would be the drama filled ones.

  173. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Just received this message from a 22yo pot that fell off the face of the earth over two weeks ago…love HER urgency, like it should be MY urgency.
    ll be up front and if i come off sounding wrong please Inform me.. I am looking to date im not looking to receive Much at all theres only one thing i need help with.. I have about 5 days to come up with the rest of the cash to move im in a safe house here in holland and my protection. Program is nearly up and the realtor. Im working. With gave me less then a week to come up with deposit and first months prorated rent. And after of if this is met i wont want anything but to continue Dates nothing more nothing

  174. domincanluvbetta says:

    @ATLSD o mi dios !!!!!!
    no cut cards huh ,slightly disturbing but honest to say the least.Sheesh !!!
    why didn’t you send her a warm invite to the blog?

  175. flyR says:

    @ Resop I hope you and others understood I was just kidding.

    For me the very mention of a payment for the privilege of meeting is absurd. Parking and sitter fine…..

  176. ATLSD says:

    @lady It has popped up again. I tried posting the link the other day but was deleted. I figured @josh or @ fat bastard wrote the answer. Plus it was going with the conversation about net worth and return on money :)

  177. KennaKenna says:

    @ATLSD Hahahaha! I just copied that to show my SD in the morning lol

  178. LadyScarlett says:

    I remember reading that many years ago…that is pretty old.

  179. resop2 says:


    “A true gentleman would thank her for bringing up the subject, tell her he will bring it and confirm that since we are in this together I assume a pre meet blowjob in the parking lot will confirm your sincerity .”

    Better hope the SB is not an undercover vice cop. That is solicitation for prostitution.

  180. ATLSD says:


    What am I doing wrong?

    Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

    Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 100 – 150. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 150,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

    Here are my questions specifically:

    -Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics – bars, restaurants, gyms

    -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

    -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

    -Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

    -Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

    -How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

    Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.



    Dear Pers-:

    I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

    Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

    So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

    So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

    Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

    By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

    With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.

    Classic “pump and dump.”
    I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
    Rob Campbell
    Diversified Industrials Investment Banking
    277 Park Avenue, 16/F, New York , NY 10172

  181. ATLSD says:

    women’s “support network” Matrix. It’s a fucking “wonderland” or “rabbit hole”,

    Rabbit hole is perfect. U go down its an amazing world.

  182. KennaKenna says:

    @Lady Yes, I get my SD a small gift every month for our “monthiversary” lol

  183. LadyScarlett says:

    yes, being appreciative is very important, but once I get to know them, then love getting them things, too… even the small things he enjoys. an ex used to love my baking, or little things I got for his hobbies/sports he enjoyed.

  184. KennaKenna says:

    @Lady haha, yes and don’t forget to say thank you when you get that gift.

    I’ve been with my SD for almost 2 years and still say Thank you at every little gesture. Manners go a long way.

  185. Ladyscarlett says:

    @kenna, oh agreed..I never demand anything(unless, they are subs and like being bossed around, hehe). and, when dealing with men, it is good idea to make them think it is their idea, anyways…that is an age old secret, hehe.

  186. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – it’s amazing the commentary on Facebook from idiots in families. I have VERY FEW family members in my friends in Facebook because of the idiocy.

  187. KennaKenna says:

    @Lady there is a tactful way to do everything but a lot of women just demand, demand, DEMAND!!!

  188. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSD I assumed people would have their opinions but did not expect them to comment publicly. My mother is 100% okay with it but my dad not so much.

    He said I shouldn’t push my “relationship with a man his age” in other people’s faces.

  189. Josh says:


    “it’s nice at the end of the date when a SD offers you cab fare/travel expenses.”

    Exactly my point…I almost always reimburse the babysitting expenses to single mothers.

  190. Ladyscarlett says:

    Like I mentioned before, the site is very different now…men used to offer quite nice gifts sometimes, even before a first meet. The fakes on both sides have polluted the site a bit.

  191. Ladyscarlett says:

    Asking someone to ‘bring something’ to prove they are real is not the way to word that….hehe. That is not how you add value to yourself, or it shows lack of value.

  192. KennaKenna says:

    I’ve never asked or will never ask for a gift on a first meet but it’s nice at the end of the date when a SD offers you cab fare/travel expenses.

  193. Ladyscarlett says:

    I used to think it wrong to ask, but not anymore( in certain situations). I never stand anyone up, and it works for me, but only with certain men I am unsure about. Most men agree, but then again, I rarely use that sort of thing. Actually, when I first joined there were a few men who sent quite a bit, just for a nice dress for dinner, or spa day. I never asked for those things, so it wasn’t a matter of getting men to do it, it was something they wanted to do. I do not feel awkward accepting nice things, or I would not be on this site, hehe….unless, I am just not interested in the man, then would not want any of his gifts. Like I said, I can see both sides. In business, one has to ask for things all the time, so I think someone can be a savvy SB and savvy business woman. But, the way men tell stories of women demanding things from potential SDs is nothing like the my way. To each their own, yes.

  194. Josh says:


    “A true gentleman would thank her for bringing up the subject, tell her he will bring it and confirm that since we are in this together I assume a pre meet blowjob in the parking lot will confirm your sincerity”

    A TRUE GENTLEMAN would do no such thing. He would bail out. Block the SB and move on.

    However, one of your clients may ask for “pre meet blowjob.”

    This is an example of flyR’s mind in his pimpish sewer matter.

  195. Josh says:


    I call women’s “support network” Matrix. It’s a fucking “wonderland” or “rabbit hole”, whichever you prefer. 😉

  196. Chrissy says:

    Classically trained and my dreams of becoming a Rockette never came true:(

  197. flyR says:

    “””However, when an SB asks for something “to prove that you are real””

    A true gentleman would thank her for bringing up the subject, tell her he will bring it and confirm that since we are in this together I assume a pre meet blowjob in the parking lot will confirm your sincerity .

  198. ATLSD says:

    ” You told me. I will now dance for you all!”

    About time

  199. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Sorry small screen editing took my response away…

    I agree with @Josh, this is like an interview…how many people got more than a cup of coffee, maybe a roll out a lunch at an interview?

    For a small gift like the French press and coffee, I understand, and could appreciate giving it…but…I agree with @resop2, if she said she needed a gift to prove he was worthy of her, she can pack sand. I’ve said it before, a SB’s time is no more valuable than the SD’s time, so where’s our proof she’s worthy of my time?

  200. resop2 says:

    @Josh is that a reference to the movie The Matrix?

    You know, nothing much would surprise me, but for now, I am willing to believe that it was not meant to be and just leave it at that.

  201. Josh says:

    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with giving gift/money as a goodwill gesture WITHOUT being asked for. Men should do it because most women’s self esteem is glued with getting free stuff. [Not many women are like Elizabeth Holmes, Sheryl Sandberg, Meg Whitman, Marissa Mayers, etc.]

    However, when an SB asks for something “to prove that you are real”, the answer must be unequivocally “FUCK YOU…I AM WAITING FOR THE NEXT BUS…”

  202. Chrissy says:

    No I must stay and entertain the men folk. It is my duty. You told me. I will now dance for you all!

  203. Chrissy says:

    I would never expect anything during a first meeting and I have been offered things during first meetings but usually it is so awkward when they are trying to give it to you.

  204. Josh says:

    @Chrissy, go to sleep. 😉

  205. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – if you have luck getting men to give you cash or gifts at a first meet more power to you.

    I would NEVER consider giving a pot cash before or at a first meet, unless it was on a business trip and we both understood it was a p2p situation.

    With my no show rate, I’d have a warehouse full of french presses and coffee!

  206. ATLSD says:

    I have given a small gift at every meet. With exception of one they all said they did not expect anything. The one did thought it wasn’t enough.

  207. ATLSD says:

    Atlsdintown-2014 at yah oo Dot com

  208. Chrissy says:

    I often agree with things that Josh says and then other times I have no idea what he is talking about. Maybe that is a sign I need to go to sleep.

  209. Ladyscarlett says:

    I have an opinion on gifting for a first meet that differs from my original view, when I was new to SA. One gets better at spotting fakes, but there are certain men that go into the ‘unsure’ category. @resop, in regards to gifting for a first meet, or sending a gift before a first meet..some SDs actually offer money, or to send a gift for just a dinner/lunch meet, or a nice gift before you meet. So, it is not unheard of…Not all the time, but occasionally. I used to have a policy to never ever ask to be gifted for a first meet, but once in awhile, if I am unsure of the man, then will ask a gift for my time, in a respectful, but not entitled manner. If he refuses, or gets offended, then I am also very respectful, in my response. This is only used on potentials that might rub me the wrong way or am unsure of. For instance, there was a man who would not stop emailing me for a dinner meet, but he was not very respectful about the terms. I was unsure, due to the way he was trying to set things up..I didn’t really even want to meet him, but told him I would for $500 or $1,000, just to have dinner, hehe. That gave him the hint, I think…

    My gift amount for lunch or dinner is more than $100, though and 80% of the men in my unsure category are fine with it. I think it is much preferred that the gentleman offers a nice gift for a first meet, though, without asking, as that is showing he is serious. It does not have to be money, either. One man knew my love for coffee and brought a really nice French press with good coffee.

    I can see both sides of the argument, but has worked well for me, as long as it is done respectfully. But, that applies to much in life….

  210. ATLSD says:

    Never mind josh showed up


  211. ATLSD says:

    Looks like We are all blogged out.

  212. Josh says:


    How often people (men or women) expect to get paid for interview?

    When relating to men, women’s mind is like the, “This is your brain. This is drugs. This is your brain on drugs.” commercial from the 80s.

    Most likely she got the “brilliant advice” from one of her female Matrix friends that the friend always vetted men out somehow. So your POT individually or along with her Matrix came up with $100 to vet you out.

    This is how the “drug” of female Matrix advice works.

    1. The friend dared the POT.
    2. The POT dared you.
    3. You cancelled.
    4. The POT is in tough situation with her Matrix. Why?
    5. The friend allegedly asked for stuff from men, and they allegedly obliged.
    6. You did not oblige. That’s a slap on the POT’s face.
    7. She lashed out.

  213. resop2 says:

    We arranged for a meeting at a fancy restaurant. Then she hit me with “what are you offering?” before we had even met. When I asked for clarification she said she wanted $100 just to have a meeting with her. I told her that was a red flag and I was no longer interested in her and then she buried me in messages explaining why I was wrong. Apparent a SD cannot simply be not interested in a SB?

  214. gtt_envy says:

    @Domican, you are my fraternal younger female twin. I get tested often and even pay for sbs to get tested. Some sti say “I’m clean I know I am”

    I would love to be with someone I had ZERO worries bout that.

  215. ATLSD says:

    @spoonful. That’s awesome babe. Your light years ahead of most SB. I shouldn’t have a mortgage either ,like xero but that’s a whole other story.

  216. @ATL- “I have not had a car loan in 16 years. 1998 was last time I made a car payment. 16 years of NOT giving money to the bank. (You taking note Spoonfull)”

    I haven’t had a car loan in 4 years, and never plan on having one again! Not as impressive as your 16 years, but hopefully I’ll be lucky enough to catch up one day. Debt sucks!

  217. domincanluvbetta says:

    ” had to block my first SB today. Apparently telling a SB that you are pulling out of a first meeting””

    Hi, im random as always … what happened… why did you become disinterested?

  218. resop2 says:

    @Xero – like waiting for a city bus, I will wait for the next SB to drive by.

    @OnlineNewbieSD – When “keeping it real” goes wrong…

  219. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Cookie – Exactly!

  220. CookieBot says:

    @Online: Haters gonna hate — on to the next. Unless of course she’s a fit redhead, in which case take it like a man and continue.

  221. Xero says:

    @resop2 Lucky man. I’ve blocked dozens. Anytime you’re going to send a msg like that block immediately afterwards. Saves a lot of stress. Most on here can’t handle the rejection.

  222. Xero says:

    @ONSD Sounds promising! Hope she’s the one you’ve been looking for. I’ve retired my search. Not even answering mails now. Will start my real life search in Jan.

    “SBs…if you are taking a picture, to post in your profile…PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don’t post it if you can see your toilet in the background”

    I’ll add toilet paper to that or any bathroom pigstye.

    @ATLSD I’ve never had a car loan or any loan (including a mortgage) and NEVER will.

  223. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy. “I am totally genius! In college I could take my panties off without taking my shorts off, talk about flexibility, eh?”

    Still trying wrap my “head”around that one. I think I need a demonstration.

  224. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @resop2 – it happens, like with the one that told me she requested my private Pics without any other message or anything because my profile pic was ugly..bitches be hatin’!

  225. CookieBot says:

    @ Josh — ‘ “Women’s advice to men about how to deal with women is worthless. Women’s advice to women about how to deal with men is disaster.” Josh Guru.’

    Nice! I don’t entirely agree, but bonus points awarded for style.

  226. resop2 says:

    I had to block my first SB today. Apparently telling a SB that you are pulling out of a first meeting (and not even at the last minute) because they are not what you are looking for is a signal for them to flood you with messages telling you exactly why you and all of the other SD before you were wrong in not wanting to shower her perfect self with money, and why you are not a real SD/man.

  227. Chrissy says:

    I don’t really think I have given anyone advice anyways just spoken about my experiences. I only later realized who you all were referring to ha.

    I am totally genius! In college I could take my panties off without taking my shorts off, talk about flexibility, eh?!
    I will admit I become fond of some of the more interesting SDs probably due to my job. Not always the best idea.

  228. Josh says:

    When you read @flyR’s posts imagine that they were written by a woman or a pimp. You will know where he is coming from.

  229. Josh says:

    “Women’s advice to men about how to deal with women is worthless. Women’s advice to women about how to deal with men is disaster.” Josh Guru.

  230. ATLSD says:

    “could not have been easier.”
    Says the blond brainiac

    Wow. U attract some interesting SD

  231. Josh says:


    Should I ignore all the other SBs and only talk about masturbating then?”

    There is no need to ignore anyone. Just don’t dish out “advice.” You may talk to them about masturbation.

    “I want to know my role here on the blog.”

    Entertainment? 😉

  232. flyR says:

    @ATL “”I have not had a car loan in 16 years. 1998 was last time I made a car payment. 16 years of NOT giving money to the bank. (You taking note Spoonfull)””

    It is a good example of why gross income is a very poor predictor of sugar capacity. Or LA where a private elementary school runs about the same as a practical SB PLUS the donations which are strong-armed out of the parents, especially those with additional kids who want in later.

  233. Chrissy says:

    I don’t think those were even clues, it could not have been easier. Took 35 secs.

    Yeah he does have my fake number since we met out in public. He is the one that has the fantasies about his SB taking over his wife’s life or whatever. He likes to call me from his driveway, must add to the excitement for him to call her a bitch from 15 ft away.

  234. flyR says:

    “DO NOT show him your phone with the text you’re going to send, it gives him a chance to see the info for your friend and if you’re using a service like Hushed ”

    I am missing something when I send a txt is shows what I call the person (ie WONKIE , no other data

  235. ATLSD says:

    @ Chrissy. You just woke up. It’s ok. You figured out the other clues 😉

  236. ATLSD says:


    You gave your number to a POT??

    “so relaxed and sensual” :*(

  237. Josh says:

    Ass-u-me an SB.

  238. Chrissy says:

    I was just about to ask what the baseball bat was for but I think I got it! 😉 Soooooo slow.

  239. Chrissy says:

    Mmmm naptime was too good. Although I woke up and thought I was going to be really late for work. POT called and woke me up and told me that I sounded “so relaxed and sensual.” I hope he doesn’t keep trying to call me while I am sleeping now. 😐

  240. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Pleasantly – are you SB or SD?

  241. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – this is where I was going with my previous advice. It’s a great concept, but other people’s reactions can be tough to deal with!

  242. PleasantlyP says:

    Anyone from Michigan??

  243. ATLSD says:

    @lorna. Welcome aboard

    @adventure. Your correct. Take a break

  244. ATLSD says:

    @xero says
    ” and people who are up to their ears in loans.”

    I have not had a car loan in 16 years. 1998 was last time I made a car payment. 16 years of NOT giving money to the bank. (You taking note Spoonfull)

  245. KennaKenna says:

    He shared our first photo together on Facebook this morning and the comments are ridiculous… I ended up unfriending a few people and it’s making me double think this whole “being public” thing.

    I’m from a small island and everyone knows everyon. My parents already reached out to me saying the streets are talking. In NYC, people are open minded but I forgot just how judgemental other people can be. :-( :-(

  246. LovingLorna says:

    New to the Blogs. Wanted to say hello to all.

  247. AdventureSeaker says:

    It is hard to meet someone closer to the holidays. No one has time to meet, might as well wait till after the new years.

  248. LovingLorna says:

    New to the blogs. Thought I would stop and say hello to all.

  249. ATLSD says:

    Congratulations you are the first to notice or at least say something.

    I’m asking Santa For a new baseball bat.

  250. KennaKenna says:

    I didn’t accept the gift, I didn’t even respond to him as yet but talked to my SD and he said something similar to what Josh/ONSD said so I’ll be responding and saying Thanks, but no thanks!

  251. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Alex – if you say, “o have to text my friend to tell her you’re not a creep” with a seductive smile and with a flirty voice he won’t even hear what you said, he’ll be focused on your voice and look 😉

  252. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Alex – sounds like you’re on the right track…DO NOT show him your phone with the text you’re going to send, it gives him a chance to see the info for your friend and if you’re using a service like Hushed (if you’re not you should start!) To text pots, he’ll also get your real number when you show him the smart ass text.. too much information for him to glean! That is HORRIBLE advice for safety and privacy! !!

  253. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @flyR – I don’t think you understood my post. The situation I described happened AT the first meet, not before. After THAT experience I began to clarify a NO EXPECTATION first meeting and force the COFFEE versus DRINKS option for first meet.

  254. Alex says:

    Oh I see, I sabotaged myself with a smiley…must be because I’m a woman lol.

    @Online, that is precisely the criteria I’m going by. Thanks for me know I’m on the right track. Hopefully he’s not just a good actor.

    I usually don’t conversation intellectually stimulating enough for phone conversation. I can only chit chat virtually haha. So the fact that this guy can keep me is friggin awesome x)

  255. Alex says:

    This ate the rest of that comment…

  256. flyR says:

    @ONSD Good luck with the fly-in SD…here’s my advice…don’t meet him at a hotel, make sure there is at least one person who knows where you will be, and have a set time for him/her to call or text you if they haven’t heard from you…tell the SD you need to send a text to your friend to let her know he’s not a creep”””

    good advice . But why not turn the text into a positive – I promised my girlfriend I would text her then show him the text your are sending (assuming it is positive) i.e. Missy – he’s even better in person….. just so he knows you are not telling your later date that you will be with them soon.

  257. Alex says:

    Oh and @Online, thanks for the great advice!

  258. Josh says:

    @Alex I am wondering what would I do without your uber “wisdom”. 😉

  259. SouthernSB says:

    Kenna-please return the gift from your old SD. It’s really disrespectful to accept a gift from a former SD when you have a current SD.

  260. flyR says:

    @ONSD ” I was actually a bit afraid her pimp was going to jump me on my way back to my car because of the attitude I got when I said, “what money? This is just coffee” at a first meeting…””” suggested wording ( mostly for her benefit and anxiety reduction) – I really look forward to our coffee meeting and understand that there’s no commitment other than to meet and talk, but I have a good feeling about this.”

    Gifts to former SD’s when you have a current SD appropriate as long as is is not pink and damp

  261. Alex says:

    *talking to him…damn comment box. Fuck lol.

    But now I see Josh beat me to the punch haha. Everyone self sabotages themselves, male or female.

  262. Alex says:

    @Kenna…if you’re asking here, instead of to him about it. It’s probably inappropriate.

  263. Josh says:

    Another type of reaction I am bracing myself with is “why are you so infatuated with @Kenna? She is ‘out of your league’. 😉

    All I am “infstuated” with is how my theories are proving correct right from the data obtained from the blog.

  264. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – How would you feel if your now boyfriend received a gift from a previous girlfriend (or even previous SB)?

    Now, how would you feel if you knew he was giving another SB a gift and she was graciously accepting the gift?

    It doesn’t make sense to me…sorry, I’m leaning towards @Josh on this one…it seems sabotage-ish to me…

  265. Josh says:

    When I assert that women proactively sabotage their relationships it is questioned as if no one has ever heard such preposterous statement.

    However, we have seen again and again how @Kenna dabbles into sabotaging her arrangement. And we are not talking about some cheap SD she is dating because she has no other choice.

    Now she is going to feign some kind of violation of her personal space or feelings because my comments are very different from “girl, you should do what YOU want to do” kind of “advice” many women dish out to each other. :(

  266. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @resop2 – I’ve started clarifying in the communications BEFORE the first meeting, “you do understand this is JUST coffee, right?” because it happened to me more than once initially…once, I was actually a bit afraid her pimp was going to jump me on my way back to my car because of the attitude I got when I said, “what money? This is just coffee” at a first meeting…

  267. resop2 says:

    I had to tell a POT to hit the road after she hit me up for money as a condition for a first meeting. She had said that “what do you have to offer” and I told her that I could ask her “what will I be getting back” but she could be a vice cop and that could be considered solicitation.

  268. KennaKenna says:

    Is it inappropriate to accept a Christmas gift from an exSD while you have a exclusive relationship with your current SD?

  269. Chrissy says:

    Discreet vs. Discrete: or is that just a test for all the SBs? 😉

  270. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Astounding what you can read in a profile, and what gets “approved” when typed!

    Im Your Brown Eyed Beauty I Can Be Your Dreams Come True , Your Fantasies Made Reality For The Right Price ♡ Im 5’3 Love To Have Fun , And Full Of Life. Sexy as Hell , And Could Make You Some Sweet Arm Candy Or Eye Candy ,J6st Make Me Yours (:

  271. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    SBs…if you are taking a picture, to post in your profile…PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don’t post it if you can see your toilet in the background, unless you’re advertising something specific towards a fetish…just not right!

  272. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    no worries @Josh…I created the “fake” SB profile and got it done…amazing, when the text of a profile is “I’m just looking, and have no interest in meeting” how many messages you STILL get!

  273. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Found this and thought the SDs on the blog might appreciate seeing this from a profile in the Search today:

    P.S. If your profile says “Negotiable allowance” I probably won’t be getting back to you.

    Although, to be a bit harsh…I think this profile was originally listed in the Substantial, then moved to Moderate and is now listed in the Practical category…

  274. Josh says:


    Sorry I did not give you my throw away email earlier. It is josh 12390 at outlook dot com.

  275. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Had TWO pot coffees already today! @Xero, I’m STILL not renewing, but I may have actually met one to move further through the process!

    First coffee, at my “usual” place (I make sure to tip well, they pretend they don’t know who I am, but already have my drink in process when I get to the front of the line)…she is less than 10-minutes late (which was perfect for some work I needed to get done)…looks JUST like her profile pic…attitude like I read her profile…she started to question when I would not give her my real name, but a story about a stalker nipped that in the bud…”tell me something you CAN tell me then” and we were off to conversation…flowed so well it was 90-minutes before I thought to look at the clock! She texted afterwards thanking me for the drink…how considerate!

    Second one…not horrid…but probably not THE one…a bit tall (and likes her heels)…liked her lipstick, and I’m not about to try to be the cliche getting home with lipstick on my collar!

  276. Josh says:


    Should I ignore all the other SBs and only talk about masturbating then?
    I want to know my role here on the blog.”

    I will see if I can provide a detailed response when I am on a bigger keyboard. 😉

  277. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Telling if someone is fake…did you know there are at least three websites out there giving advice on how to help a guy “fake being a Sugar Daddy”?

    I wanted to see if there were any sugar daddy blogs out there (since there are so many sugar baby blogs)…three of the top 5 results were sites about how to fake being rich to “bang as many babies as you can”…

    Asking the kind of questions like “which country club or golf club” someone belongs to is not a great idea…too easy to lie about…instead, look at the language they use in communication…”R U 4 Real” is probably NOT a message from a 40-60yo successful man…especially in an email.

    Does he come right out and ask for nude pics? Was he pushing for sex at the first encounter? Did he ask you to meet him someplace “more private”?

    These are the types of questions that will show someone that has his shit together and understands the lifestyle…

    This goes for the SBs as well…as a SD, I look for the same brief messages, lack of comment about my profile text, ignoring a question in a message…that type of behavior is a red flag to me.

    Good luck with the fly-in SD…here’s my advice…don’t meet him at a hotel, make sure there is at least one person who knows where you will be, and have a set time for him/her to call or text you if they haven’t heard from you…tell the SD you need to send a text to your friend to let her know he’s not a creep…he should appreciate that, if he doesn’t, I hope you’re a very serious person in real life…

    Okay…now I should be back for a little bit…holidays are CRAZY!

  278. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy. I forgot my profile was hidden. I undid that. Let the games begin! (I’ll be back later. Gotta go)

  279. ATLSD says:

    “Should I ignore all the other SBs and only talk about masturbating then!”

    I’m ok with that. But you already know that.

  280. Chrissy says:

    Should I ignore all the other SBs and only talk about masturbating then?
    I want to know my role here on the blog.

  281. ATLSD says:

    @josh. I was going to say that. But I’m not as tactiful as you. 😉

  282. Xero says:

    SouthernSB Some people don’t need to pose such fronts though but ok.

    My experience with those clubs is that they’re usually a congregation of bigots and people who are up to their ears in loans. To each their own though.

  283. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy. I’ll be right back. I have to go change my underwear. 😉

  284. ATLSD says:

    @southern. We don’t all belong to country clubs. Bunch of fake pompous asses there. No offense to any SD that belong to one. I’m sure that doesn’t apply to you. :0

  285. Josh says:

    When SBs provide “advice” to each other…

    It’s like an aspiring and struggling entrepreneur “advising” other aspiring and struggling entrepreneur how to run a successful business. 😉

  286. Xero says:

    Chrissy It wasn’t supposed to.

    Eating lunch and scrolling profiles. Like this one:
    “In addition to recent accidents I have been involved in that did damage to my car, I also currently have a speeding ticket to pay in addition to my car payment and insurance.”


  287. Chrissy says:

    I can’t speak to whether a man is legitimate or not based on him blinking a lot and avoiding eye contact as a sign. I make them all giddily nervous and then they just bust in their pants. Then they cannot even fathom asking me to have sex with them because they are so embarrassed. Or maybe that is when the teasing part of the night comes around. Eh!

  288. SouthernSB says:

    Xero-In my town men with means belong to country clubs and private golf clubs. In fact, the most famous golf club in the country is in my town. So according to where @Alex lives, I feel like it is a totally valid question.

  289. ATLSD says:

    Good not go. Geez

  290. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy. Go luck on stalking, drop me hint if u think you were successful. 😉

  291. Chrissy says:

    Xero as Batman is such a good personification. All dark and brooding.
    That has nothing to do with anything you just said.

  292. ATLSD says:

    @alex. Was that ? Meant for me. I don’t see online posting. But I m having issues posting.
    I’ll answer anyways because that’s how I am. Going for coffee doesn’t mean he is broke. Christian Grey took Anastasia for coffee. It’s easy meet and an easy out if it’s not going good. You really need to have your SB radar on. Since I’ve never dated a SD before it’s hard to say what to look for. If he blinks a lot and won’t look you in the eye. Something’s up. (Right Chrissy)

  293. Xero says:

    SouthernSB lol I hope that’s a joke/sarcasm.

  294. Xero says:

    @Alex If you don’t sleep with him you have nothing to lose. 😉

    About the coffee, it always gives you a quick “out” if you don’t like the POT. At least that’s why I use it when I use it (sometimes I don’t).

  295. SouthernSB says:

    @Alex-you could always ask him which country club he belongs to, that way you can ascertain whether he is real or not.

  296. Chrissy says:

    No one has blocked me to my knowledge. Maybe that POT from September who was so fond of my previous picture will now that I changed it.

  297. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy says “Sometimes I find myself wanting to send messages to people with constructive advice”
    That doesn’t surprise me being in your profession. And I have done that. This SB took a picture in women’s bathroom at the Gym. Not a flattering one at all. I sent msg telling her it look stupid. She never responded but took it down then I think she blocked me.

  298. Chrissy says:

    I was not stalking you before but now I am. 😀

  299. resop2 says:

    @alex this might sound really Cosmo, but I think it depends on your listed expectations. If your listed expectations are on the high end then an $$$$ restaurant would not faze a SD who was the real deal. If your profile’s listed expectation is on the low end then a $$ restaurant should not faze a SD who can deliver for you.

    As for coffee, either he’s broke or really pressed for time.

  300. SouthernSB says:


  301. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy. Are you stalking (hopefully) me. I don’t recall putting my profile out there.
    But the mask adds to the aura of my mystery. Women love mysterious “in charge” men.
    You know the Mr.Lewis types.

  302. SouthernSB says:

    @Chrissy-Ohhhh, now I understand. Well at least putting the cookies in HIS bushes makes them easier to eat. Less soggy and all. Enjoy your cookies.

  303. Chrissy says:

    If this guy is flying out there to only meet you I would think it is odd if he then asked you out for coffee. It would not be odd if he had another reason he was flying there as well, like for business, or if he is actually meeting multiple women (but in my opinion, he should not be admitting such to you).
    In my experience when a POT has traveled quite a ways to meet me, we have gone somewhere nicer (like fine dining) because they have put in more time before hand to get to know me. While local ones are usually more causal meetings.
    My two cents!

  304. Alex says:

    @All thanks, I am excited and going to be cautious.

    @Online, that’s the thing though, how do I make sure he is the real deal without asking any of the red flag questions or suggesting an upscale place? If he suggests coffee, I’m not gonna automatically think he is broke, but should I?

  305. Chrissy says:

    I guess you are right but I would hate to eradicate the entire potential SD pool in my area with my wrath 😀

    You misunderstood we are putting the cookies in HIS bushes.

  306. SouthernSB says:

    ATLSD says:
    December 18, 2014 at 7:19 am

    @Chrissy I’ll leave a heated blanket, cookies, and a few TOYS in those bushes to keep you warm. 😉

    I’m not sure @Chrissy would like cookies in her bush….way to many crumbs!! 😉

  307. resop2 says:

    @Chrissy “But then I know I would just come across as a bitch :(

    Since you have no interest in this person, what is the downside of him thinking you are a bitch?

  308. Chrissy says:

    Sometimes I find myself wanting to send messages to people with constructive advice like, “Hey you should really delete that picture you have as your main photo where you are frowning in front of your shower curtain and quite frankly unpleasant looking bathroom. Instead you should use the other public photo you have where you are smiling :) BTW I am not at all interested in you.” But then I know I would just come across as a bitch :(

  309. FlyR says:

    @alex. Best of luck. Sounds good

  310. ATLSD says:

    @resop. Yea that’s it!! :)
    I think the whole dynamic of where I live seems to be a factor compared to what I’ve been reading hear.

  311. Chrissy says:

    You are so kind and thoughtful.

    Psh. Good looking, he hides his face behind a mask. They only like him for being a bad boy.

  312. resop2 says:

    @ATLSD – This is my second POT that has done this. You must be better looking than me. LOL

  313. resop2 says:

    @flyr this SB’s expectations are listed as negotiable and I agreed to take her to an expensive restaurant.

  314. ATLSD says:

    @Chrissy I’ll leave a heated blanket, cookies, and a few TOYS in those bushes to keep you warm. 😉

  315. Chrissy says:

    Sorry to disappoint you but I will not be under your tree this year. I have a feeling that would cause quite a few problems for you. I will wait in the bushes!

  316. ATLSD says:

    @alex. Good to hear. Be excited but a little cautious. Make sure he is the real deal.

  317. ATLSD says:

    Only 7 more days until. Merry “Chrissymas”

  318. ATLSD says:

    @mel. Welcome. Jump right in if you so desire

    @beuatenoire. Lots of women of color on here. But depends were u live. What general are you in?

  319. ATLSD says:

    @resop. If money comes up first before even meeting. That’s usually a deal killer. I’ve only had one pot do it. My guess is they are young and inexperienced.

  320. flyR says:

    @alex “We have hour long convos which is strange for me because I prefer texting.”

    I think he has done you a great favor.

    Texting launders the language of its inflection, pace and emotion. In addition for many, especially older it is something suitable for short messages or communicating when you are doing something else. It also disarms a woman of much of her charm. Sophia Loren and Rosanne Barr can text the same words but Rosanne could never deliver Loren’s message of sensuality

  321. KennaKenna says:

    I can’t believe someone would put that in their profile. Wow.

  322. KennaKenna says:

    @flyR HAHA! Wow!

  323. flyR says:


    Someone seeking to start building their knowledge or start a business would be much more attractive. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

  324. flyR says:

    Shoot for the moon

    “self screening”

    from a profile (slightly reworded)

    “””, so if when shopping you think Louboutins are too much at $1000.00 or a Chanel purse at $6500.00 is out of your range, then we are not looking for the same thing.””

  325. Alex says:

    Got a pot flying in from Arizona on Friday. REALLY great chemistry with this guy, and hopefully if he’s willing to fly out he’s serious. We have hour long convos which is strange for me because I prefer texting. We’ve skyped (just conversing) and I like what I see. This guy is either great for me or an even better actor.

  326. flyR says:

    @RESOP2 – there are a lot of guys here who are either wasting every SB s time or wanting to meet SB who are far beyond their budget. Thus it is not unreasonable for a pot to ask if her indicated range is acceptable , to have you confirm that you are in the ballpark.

    If approached by someone whose aspirations are substantially higher than your budget a nice note expressing appreciation but noting that your budget is in a lower range will often result in an invitation to have further discussions.

    Understand that there are a lot of men who want to try to charm SB’s out of sex without making or intending to make any form of a contribution.

    Good luck with your pursuits hope this helps

  327. resop2 says:

    @BeautéNoire: How big is your search area and how densely populated is the area that you live? There are plenty of ladies of color on the site but it varies by area.

  328. resop2 says:

    Here’s one for the Cosmo file (“What they really mean when a SB/SD says …”):

    When a SB says that they don’t want anyone who isn’t willing to do text messaging, then that means that she doesn’t want guys who are much older than her.

  329. resop2 says:

    I wonder if I am too sensitive, but I find it a big turn off if a SB starts talking money and arrangements before the initial meeting. It’s not like before the initial meeting I am asking them about sex.

    If I am so gross to them that the idea of a free meal without a clear idea of how much I will be eventually shelling out is distasteful to them, then I doubt that they would be able to treat me like a king.

  330. Evangaleane says:

    i have no luck on here…0.0

  331. BeautéNoire says:

    Are there any sugar babies of color on this website? I haven’t been successful in catching anyone’s eye and it’s a bit frustrating

  332. BeautéNoire says:

    Are there any sugar babies of color on this website? I created a profile a while ago but I haven’t been successful in catching anyone’s eye :(

  333. ATLSD says:

    @sexy. Good luck babe. Knock them dead or laughing. That’s sugar wonderland. BTW I left a few thousand at the golden nugget last time I was there. If you find it you can keep it.

  334. ATLSD says:

    @josh. It was a link to a story. It was deleted.

  335. Josh says:


    “@ josh Did you read the article I posted about the chick looking for the rich husband? I figured you or Fatbastard wrote the reply.”

    Sorry, I don’t know what you are referring to.

  336. Josh says:


    Merkin is very different from bushwig. 😉

  337. Josh says:

    What fascinates me is that a majority of women on SA cannot write comprehensible prose and expect to be paid thousands of dollars per month? :(

  338. domincanluvbetta says:

    @JOSH or he could be stuck up asshole who think that I should take what I get if I want to be on his payroll.. .By the way he agreed to just do it , smart a$#!!! …Soooooo what were you saying?

  339. flyR says:

    Perhaps the next topic that might have some traction should be

    What’s your new year’s sugar resolution going to be and why

  340. flyR says:

    RE Christian SB
    “”Wrote. “I am not here to be paid for sex.” Like she was horrified someone offer money on and arrangement site. Oh the humanity!!””

    I read the message a little differently – If you are looking for a blow and go date with a few hundred on the hotel nightstand I am not your girl.

    My church attendance generally revolves around marriages and death but I appreciate those with strong beliefs.

    Were the writer in the hood and I looking the RN label is generally a good sign – likes people, not squeamish , loves sex more than sexy rockstar very responsible……

    NEW TOPIC – question – how may claim to have even read 1 of 3 topics the past month or so. Would be so much better if the blog just rolled over every week like the pages of a ship’s log. We start Monday morning with a clean sheet…… I doubt that more than 2% of the posts are directly related to the topic unless the topic was one of the parties.

  341. @FlyR, that’s what I do already to keep my purchases at bay. It’s a good habit for everyone to have.

  342. Alex says:

    According to you she was @Josh.

  343. Josh says:


    Best of luck with your decision(s). I am just wondering which direction would you have gone if you were “advised” by a Matrix.

  344. Ladyscarlett says:

    Merkin? Ahaha! I learned something new today. Thank you @southern 😮

  345. SouthernSB says:


  346. SexyRockstar says:

    I am packed up and ready to go for Vegas.

    Saw drummer today. Simple lunch. Soft kisses. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

    We’re going to wait til after the holidays to see what we really want from each other. Lay down expectations.

    Truthfully…I don’t even want/care about allowance. Just time with him. As much as my feelings are for him..he’s also my escape….the stupid things you do for a man. Basically I am Carrie and he is Mr. Big….except I am less annoying. LOL

  347. Josh says:

    I think that the blog is just an after thought for SA. From shitty interface to ho hum and infrequent article updates, it gets really tiresome to deal with long blog pages.

  348. Ladyscarlett says:

    “Chrissy says:
    December 17, 2014 at 10:29 am
    Laser hair removal typically doesn’t work well on fair haired people since it works by being attracted to the pigment in the hair. I had looked into it before.”

    That is true, but they have different lasers for certain hair colors and skin tones now. The ideal combination is dark hair and fair skin, though.

  349. Ladyscarlett says:

    However, what if new boyfriend likes the hairy bush look of the 80’s? What will I do? Hmm, they do ‘locks of love’, or wigs for hair, so wonder if the do ‘bushes of love’, or bush wigs? Where is yougottabekiddingme? Think she was growing her bush out..perhaps, I could purchase some of her extra hair there, and do a cut and paste job…

  350. Ladyscarlett says:

    Girls, the laser is not so bad…the little bit of pain is worth the result. I have a very high tolerance for pain, though….to me, it hurts less than hot wax, then ripping the hair. And, the bright side is the more sessions you have, the less it hurts as the hair grows back thinner and eventually the follicle just stops producing hair. It has been a couple of months hair free, and still have four more sessions….love it!

  351. Xero says:

    @ONSD Good luck. I see no point in staying. Sites changed too much. I’ll be trying to find a SB in real life which is new to me. I’ve always met them here (SA).

  352. Josh says:

    “I am the mother of two awesome teenagers (13 and 16) and they are my top priority.”

    Anytime a woman mentions her kids and how important they are to her, my mind wonders as to who would be the chopped liver in her life. :(

  353. Josh says:

    “I am the mother of two awesome teenagers (13 and 16) and they are my top priority.”

    Anytime a woman mentions her kids and how important they are to her, mind wonders as to who would be the chopped liver in her life. :(

  354. ATLSD says:

    @Alex. I’m Darth Sugar Daddy. I have no heart strings. She can pull on my force though.

    @Chrisssssssssy. Just set up shop I’m my office. You will be rich. Not to many people in there are normal.

    @ josh Did you read the article I posted about the chick looking for the rich husband? I figured you or Fatbastard wrote the reply.

  355. KennaKenna says:

    @Lady I tried laser once and didn’t like the experience so I stick to waxing. I love how waxing gets everything and how smooth it feels after.

  356. Alex says:

    *My vag…damn comment box. Though I guess calling it Vag could work haha.

  357. Alex says:

    @Chrissy, I hope you’re serious otherwise stop pulling this guy’s heart strings lmao.

    @Josh too late…@Southern already said genitals. Boom. We’ve graduated. And Southern, I totally agree.

    @Lady, OUCH! Lol, I like shaving because it doesn’t hurt. Never would’ve I let them shoot vag with a laser!

  358. Chrissy says:

    Laser hair removal typically doesn’t work well on fair haired people since it works by being attracted to the pigment in the hair. I had looked into it before.

    Oh hush, you big baby! I have totally been applying to new jobs there all week.

  359. Josh says:

    @Lainey, she wants SBs advice and tips. 😉

  360. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Xero – my membership expires this week…I’m not renewing either…I know it will be difficult, since next week I’m going to be inundated with messages as the SA Marketing machine makes it nearly impossible for me NOT to renew…but I’m going to do my best to resist until AT LEAST after the first of the year

    @ATLSD – LOVE the gravatar! I think, being married and on this site, I’m ALREADY on the dark side…I just like to believe there is some moral fiber there, hence my choice…

    @Dazed – was she in Michigan? I hadn’t seen that profile, but I have had my share of “Christian” profiles come up in searches…astounds me…but, if she doesn’t want cash for sex, maybe she would be the ideal gift/shopping/gentleman style SB? Obviously NOT this one, since she wants to be public…but still?

  361. Josh says:

    Way too many bloggers are using “down there.” Please stop. Otherwise flyR may say something like this:

    “Your vocabulary might evolve as words and phrases like “”down there”” shifted into more adult and respectful words and phrases.”

  362. Lainey says:

    @Daisy you can email me mslaineybaby at g mail dot com but I would also suggest posting your profile ID here so that SDs can review it as well

  363. Daisy says:

    Hi im new to this sort of thing will a sugar baby email with some tips and advice pretty please!

  364. SouthernSB says:

    I shave my armpits, the bottom half of my legs and my genitals, but only if I have a S/D or a boyfriend. Otherwise I only shave the bottom of my legs and only shave my armpits in the summer. I don’t see the point of shaving in the winter due to the fact that under normal circumstances nobody is going to see much of my body in the winter anyway.

  365. SouthernSB says:

    ATLSD says:
    December 17, 2014 at 8:34 am

    @chrissy “You mean they humped office furniture too!? Why would you ever leave”
    It was hard, but I needed to leave to make more money to afford to date the Humping swedes. (do you have a couch with a with those wood balls on the arms?)

    I don’t know anything about humping Swedes, although I know a little about Germans, but I do have a couch with those wood balls on the arms. Heck I have a couch and a loveseat.

  366. Ladyscarlett says:

    “@Kenna and @Chrissy I’m much less of a fan of hair on me than a male counter part, so I get it. I just don’t mind shaving lol.”

    Get an SD to buy you a laser hair removal package(it is for both of you, really)…for every nook and cranny(if you are into the hairless thing). It hurts pretty bad in certain areas, but totally worth it…

  367. SouthernSB says:

    @Dazed-SB-She needs to join “Christian Mingle” or else she’s just a naughty Christian and doing this is her kink.

  368. ATLSD says:

    @alex. I’ve been TRYING. I offered a Hydundai with pleather seats what SB wouldn’t want that. (crying inside)

  369. Alex says:

    @Lainey, well hot damn. THAT sucks.

    @ATL why don’t you just fly @Chrissy to you? Lol.

  370. Xero says:

    @ATLSD No reason to reload at all. What I’m looking for doesn’t exist on this site anymore. Wasting time isn’t really my forte. It was good once but once is in the past and I accept that.

  371. ATLSD says:

    @southern. No worries…its hard to keep with the blog if you leave for awhile.
    I’ll take a look later in day at your new updates. I have to actually go do something. I was going to tell to get rid of that fountain pic. It didn’t do anything for you. You need a few more like the where you are wearing a dress. Also the narrative was not bad but needed to be reworded. I think most will get the point you are making. “That you are not some bubble headed “collage” girl and that you know what a man needs and wants.” You know you are in a different category, so you have to really bring it up a notch and stand out.

  372. Lainey says:

    @Alex because of his occupation I don’t know how long he’ll be in the country. So I’m just riding the wave.

  373. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy Transference…that was the word I was looking for. Thanks.
    I got a story about that, someday I will tell you but not on here. (that’s not an OCD quiz)

  374. SouthernSB says:

    ATLSB-OMG!! Sorry I didn’t see your post. Yes that’s me standing in front of the fountain, but since then I have changed my profile and took that picture away and added another picture. I just kept think that the old profile made me sound like a washed out former escort. I wanted my profile to sound more fun and a little more flirty. It’s kind of hard for me to make a profile because I’m older but I still like to have a good time and contrary to conventional wisdom I still happen to love sex.

  375. Chrissy says:

    Well transference is bringing in any feelings/experiences that are outside of the relationship of the therapist and the patient into the counseling. (Can be done by either party)It is quite common for people to become quite fond of their therapists if they have had a rough life if they view them as the first and only people to have cared about them. I think it is harder to not bring in the negative emotions though when you know the patient is doing horrible things but you just have to find something redeemable in everyone.

  376. Alex says:

    @Lainey, why do you need to keep looking?

    @Kenna and @Chrissy I’m much less of a fan of hair on me than a male counter part, so I get it. I just don’t mind shaving lol.

    @ATL like IRL I don’t discriminate according to race, I just tend to find more of what I’m looking for in one category because of the way our society is structured.

  377. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy “Obviously you would be a trouble maker.” That’s why I’m friends with the boss, he wont fire me.
    Is their a Freudian term or theory on “falling in love with you therapist”?

    @lainey..that’s really thoughtful of him.

  378. Lainey says:

    Sitting here while he makes breakfast after running to the store and coming back with coloring books for my daughter. Wish I didn’t have to keep looking

  379. Ladyscarlett says:


  380. Ladyscarlett says:

    Because some will solicit you likened to a prostitute on this site. Except, it is worse, in that they are trying to get discounted escort prices. Since she is young, then she probably was getting some of the rude John like SDs emailing. Make a fake female profile, and you will get an idea, if you ever get bored.vNot all arrangements include sex, either…there are some men on here that are looking for relationships, so she probably is looking to marry up/wealthy. It might be possible. We are know about hypocritical Christians, so why even address that.

  381. Chrissy says:

    No couches here, just chairs. Wouldn’t want anyone to get too comfortable in my office and want to stay or fall asleep. I mostly do groups since it is more cost efficient. People are only in my office if they are in trouble or in crisis. Obviously you would be a trouble maker.

    That reminds me of those girls who try to sell their virginity. I cannot imagine how great that experience must be for both parties :(

  382. ATLSD says:

    @Dazed Wow you ain’t kidding. Those are the profiles I just want to send a message and say. “WTF you doing here. Did you not read what this is.”
    There was a young “collage” SB in my area that had the religion thing going.
    After about a week she update her profile and in capital letters. Wrote. “I am not here to be paid for sex.” Like she was horrified someone offer money on and arrangement site. Oh the humanity!!

  383. KennaKenna says:

    @Dazed I agree! She should have tried Christian Mingle!

  384. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy “You mean they humped office furniture too!? Why would you ever leave”
    It was hard, but I needed to leave to make more money to afford to date the Humping swedes. (do you have a couch with a with those wood balls on the arms?)

    Ok, the coffee part. Went right over your beautiful blondness. It’s was arbitrary question, the point was I left you hanging and didn’t answer you for hours. OCD types would be going nuts and annoyed that I didn’t answer. That was where I was going with that. (I know, I need a shrink)

  385. KennaKenna says:

    @Chrissy No lol.. I just hate hair on my body and I’m not a fan of shaving. I take a painkiller before each waxing session.

  386. KennaKenna says:

    *except my eyebrows, eyelashes and head obviously.

  387. Dazed-SD says:

    The woman from this profile is beautiful, but I think she joined the wrong web site,

    “About Me

    *I’m a Christian but I’m not perfect. *I’m the mother of 2 awesome teenagers (13 and 16) and they are my top priority. *I’m a RN and have worked as a school nurse for the past 13 yrs. I have a great life! I’ve dated quite a bit over the past 5 years and now feel as if I may be ready for a long term relationship IF the right one comes along. I’m in no hurry to get married, in fact, it’s not even an option until my youngest graduates from high school (in 4 1/2 years). I’m not into one night stands and I would be offended if someone offered me money for sex. I won’t be anyone’s secret so please don’t contact me if you are married or in a relationship.

    What I’m looking for

    I’m looking for someone who is also a Christian. I’m perfectly imperfect and it’s ok for you to be as well. You must be a good communicator and not be afraid to show emotion and affection. I need you to have a sense of humor bc I like to be silly and playful at times. I’m looking for a monogamous relationship that is built on friendship, trust and respect. I’m independent and find it very hard to ask for help when needed. I’m 5’8 and would prefer you to be at least 5’10(I do wear heels). You must be kind to others and be able to show love to complete strangers. I would hope that you are involved in giving back to your community and are able to recognize and appreciate the blessings given to you.”

  388. Chrissy says:

    Are you a masochist? I cannot imagine voluntary doing such a thing.

  389. ATLSD says:

    @Alex…I get that and I think you may be right. Lots of the black/mixed women here
    have that stated in their profile. “I prefer older white men or I only want white SD. etc…

    I like the landing strip or neatly trimmed. or maybe shape like a “heart”. I don’t want to get out the Craftsman weed wacker. 😮

  390. KennaKenna says:

    I wax every single strand of hair from my body. No hair anywhere.

    I love chest hair on a man, like him trimmed down below- no jungle lol!

  391. Dazed-SD says:

    As for hair down there,,I like it ! I’m not saying a jungle down there, but some nice trimmed landscape is always nice to play in. Personally, I like knowing I’m with a women.

  392. Alex says:

    *making baldness beautiful

  393. Alex says:

    @ATL “maybe one of your dad’s friends or a naughty fetish” My dad’s friends came in a variety of ethnicities and age groups. I’m a sub and attracted to alphas. Given our society I think older, white male is the best place to look for an alpha. But who knows, I am a “women”, there’s probably a male I’ve forgotten about that I can blame for this somewhere. As per the hair thing. Since I’m not as well endowed as @Lainey, I like to leave a little (a landing strip if you will) just to remind both parties I’m not prepubescent. And actually Hollywood is more to blame for making baldness than bringing hair back. That’s the one thing that signifies adulthood, why do we shun it so? [email protected] Lainey, I completely agree for the previously stated reason, I want to feel like I’m with a man and not a boy…..so please have some hair down there lol.

  394. Chrissy says:

    I am still confused what coffee has to do with OCD.

    “I grew up in “nordic” world so I know what you mean. 70 percent of the women are like you, it was like living in a Swedish porn movie.”
    You mean they humped office furniture too!? Why would you ever leave!

    It is so high maintenance being us and then you all don’t want us to show up in tube tops and flip flops, sheesh!

  395. ATLSD says:

    Lash extensions, dying eyelashes, dying hair all over, hair extensions.
    No wonder you SB need our $$$.

  396. ATLSD says:

    “my” not may geez. Plz add a edit fuction on here.

  397. ATLSD says:

    “Are you planning a battle with ONSD soon?”

    I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that.

    “ONSD you are may brother from another mother, come join me on the Darkside.”

  398. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy… I was wondering it the dye would sting. I grew up in “nordic” world
    so I know what you mean. 70 percent of the women are like you, it was like living in a Swedish porn movie.

    “people used to always ask me if I was ill with my super blonde eyelashes.”
    You could use that to get out of a bad SD date. If he ask you if you are feeling ok, just say, “I’m feeling a little peakish, I think I need to go home and rest.”
    Then the dumbass SD will say,” Yea you look a little pal, i see it in your eyelashes.”

  399. Chrissy says:

    Are you planning a battle with ONSD soon?

  400. ATLSD says:

    @lainey. Dang… that sounds like a lot of work. That look you are going for is definitely exotic and I love that look. I dated a girl in NY that was half greek and half black. She turned heads.
    Green eyes on your mom, that must be real stunning.
    Well the milk man still had some good gene traits in him.

  401. Chrissy says:

    There are places that will do it for you since they say it is dangerous and you could blind yourself or other scary stories. I have always done it myself since I was scared. I think it is technically tinting your eyelashes. It definitely burns if you get it in your eye though because I have done that and I didn’t go blind. The reason I do it is because there are many place you don’t wear make up like the shower 😉 and beach. There is just such a stark contrast between the two (with and without mascara) that people used to always ask me if I was ill with my super blonde eyelashes.

  402. AmericanGirl87 says:

    I am black but I have blonde hair all over my arms and legs so I don’t shave because it only shows on the beach when sand attaches to it…haha!

  403. Lainey says:

    @Chrissy OMG I used to do that too. Now I get the lash extensions so it doesn’t matter but I still dye my eyebrows though. It’s such a process to get them even though. Ugh

  404. Lainey says:

    @ATLSD I dye my hair. It makes me look more my ethnicity (Sicilian, Calabrian, Middle Eastern, Black). Lol. My mom is sandy brown/dirty blonde with green eyes and I picked up after her. I have dark green/hazel eyes (although they look black in pictures. Weird) and dishwater blonde hair or the new age word for it “bronde”.

    All my sisters have dark brown/black hair, dark eyes and that beautiful red undertoned bronzed skin. I’m the only one with an Olive complexion. I think my mom had a thing with the milk man.

  405. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy… How do you dye your eyelashes? Can’t your just just use massacara?
    (I know dumb guy question)

  406. Chrissy says:

    Yeah that is definitely one thing I LOVE about being a blonde. I have like no visible body hair. I even dye my eyelashes because they are so light.

  407. ATLSD says:

    “but it’s just blonde ”

    Really, you don’t look blonde, if that’s you in your avatar?

    Its the Hollywood set supposedly doing it. But as you know, Lots of women follow that crap and join the crush.

  408. Lainey says:

    I will say though that I LOVE a man with body hair. Like LOOOOVE. A little manscaping is acceptable, but beyond that I may just buy you a euro V-neck tee and find you a boyfriend

  409. ATLSD says:

    @xero… “Membership expires this week doubt I’ll renew.”

    You got that right, reload after the holidays.

  410. Lainey says:

    @ATLSD gross. I am completely bare there. The rest of my body looks/feels bare but it’s just blonde and really fine.

    I do understand that hair has a “purpose” but with all the hygiene products available now woman should be quite all right without the bush

  411. ATLSD says:

    “OMG! A vibrating razor sounds like the most dangerous thing in the world to a blonde. I need to protect my precious!”

    I just spit my coffee out. :)

    The coffee question was really a test. To see if you were OCD also. I figured if you had geography issue, daddy issues and OCD. Then there would only be one way for you to release all that, and you would make one fun ass, hell of a date. 😉

  412. Josh says:

    What bothers me more is armpit hair.

  413. Chrissy says:

    @chrissy. Thanks for answering. Did it annoy it took me so long to get back after asking a question.
    I think as long as you keep it in the same blog I will be able to handle it. Otherwise my brain may get lost.

    OMG! A vibrating razor sounds like the most dangerous thing in the world to a blonde. I need to protect my precious!

  414. ATLSD says:

    @all. Yahoo news has an article on new trend of women letting their hair grow out. And I don’t mean on you head. Supposedly Gwenth Paltrow started it. I know there is a whole hair fetish, porn sites and magazines dedicated to it, let’s not revisit the 70’s and 80’s. So to all SB’s pleeeeese don’t jump on this band wagon. If you can’t afford a razor I’ll buy you one.(@Chrissy I’ll buy you one that vibrates also 😉

    And Good morning everyone.

  415. Lainey says:

    @PersianDelight post your ID babe

  416. ATLSD says:

    @sexy. That dude probably read about 1000 SB profiles before making his profile. Hopefully he bought the 3 month membership. He is. Going got need it.

  417. Xero says:

    Xero is officially POTless (new word). Ditched last POT. This one tried to clamp on but I’ve no interest. Membership expires this week doubt I’ll renew. Would be the definition to insanity if I did.

  418. Xero says:

    @domincanluvbetta I don’t see the big deal on this either but I lose a lot of POTs on this one too. Girls don’t want to be tested so I ditch.

  419. Josh says:


    “@josh ME ,lol y?”

    Yes YOU my dear.

    If he were into YOU, he would get tested according to your wishes.

  420. ATLSD says:

    Yo admins. How about a new blog. Maybe something about spending New Year with your sugar.

  421. Josh says:



    I think the percentage of the world population that is treating and calling their sons as “prince” and their daughters as “worthless creatures”, is much higher as the part that is calling their daughters “princess”
    That is a typical Anglosaksian Walt Disney thing!”

    In the context of SA, we ARE primarily talking about Anglo Saxon “culture” as majority of SBs and SDs come from US, Canada, UK and Australia.

    “And I am really sorry you take the saying of “treating your woman as a queen to be the king”, in a complete literal discription of the words.”

    Sweetheart, words either have meaning or they don’t. 😉

    “You very well know I was only trying to say: “You harvest what you seed”.”

    No you were not. The above idiom is gender neutral and the context is broader.

    “And that of course counts 2 ways, for both, women and men!”

    No it does not. The idiom you used is VERY female serving. It DOES NOT go the other way and it’s NOT used in the reverse direction.

    Again, words either have meaning or they don’t. 😉

  422. flyR says:

    A bit of a warning for iPhone users who are married. Apparently a new software issue may cause different phones to ring when your SB calls to tell you she is home safe or you sneak down to the basement to await her midnight call……. [Many iPhone users have discovered that since updating a few of the household phones to the latest versions of iOS, suddenly when one iPhone rings, so does another completely different iPhone with a different phone number. This is often the case with spouses and partners who find their iPhone ringing when their wife or husbands

  423. SexyRockstar says:

    Here is a fun one for you guys. He can do minimal. His profile seriously made me laugh.

    I am looking for as simple as it gets. Meeting a couple of times a week. Nsa or long term. I am open to both. I am not looking for multiple sbs unless you both come together or both want that after approaching me seperately. But i do want the right sb. Location, attitude, energy and looks. I will take my time and if things are not right i will keep looking. I do let you know if i am not interested and i appreciate the same in return. Apparently I need to clarify a few things. 1) I am looking for local. That means maybe 25 miles preferably 10 or less. I don’t have time to drive around or wait for you to drive to me in traffic. 2) I am not looking for a woman who wants my money because she thinks she deserves a particular lifestyle. I worked hard to get where I am and I don’t believe anyone deserves to be pampered. It’s something that one should enjoy and appreciate. 3) I am not the richest guy on here by far. But i am also not looking to jump from woman to woman or have a dozen girls that I rotate thru. 4) it has been brought to my attention that many women here are looking for a substantial compensation but have listed negotiable. Please be clear what you are looking for in terms of compensation. 5) I am looking for personality and for clarity personality does not mean being demanding….

  424. Elaine says:


    “Not many parents tell their sons that they are little princes”


    I think the percentage of the world population that is treating and calling their sons as “prince” and their daughters as “worthless creatures”, is much higher as the part that is calling their daughters “princess”
    That is a typical Anglosaksian Walt Disney thing!

    And I am really sorry you take the saying of “treating your woman as a queen to be the king”, in a complete literal discription of the words.

    You very well know I was only trying to say: “You harvest what you seed”.

    And that of course counts 2 ways, for both, women and men!

  425. SexyRockstar says:


    Feel free to post your profile ID to see if there is something in your profile that seems to be attracting the wrong type of men. That is normally a good place to start.

  426. Hey Guys, I’ve been on the site for a couple weeks now and have been unable to find a genuine sugar daddy… what’s the deal?

  427. domincanluvbetta says:

    @struggle I just read you comment…Im sorry for your lost , I lost some one very close to me around this time last year ,I know its tuff to deal with your def in my prayers.

  428. flyR says:

    @cupsfullofsgr ” Liquidity is definitely something to consider. I have been looking to invest recently with the whole “work smarter, not harder” philosophy in mind, but have to have enough liquid assets first. That’s why I prefer an allowance-type arrangement, it helps with that. Of course, I do get tempted with shiny things, but I’ve been doing really well lately!”

    Take the most indulgent purchase you made and translate it into hours worked at your least productive activity and then ask if it was worth it..

  429. domincanluvbetta says:

    thanks @ lainey for the breakdown , ive changed my mind im bitchin up .I cant hookup with this guy…not the arrangement for .Not against protection , im all for it but i highly doubt hes going for protection during any oral funnsies.Im starting to think going from a long-term relationship to an arrangement isn’t exactly healthy because im not for alot of ishhh and im extremely particular.

  430. domincanluvbetta says:

    @josh ME ,lol y?

  431. @ATL- You’re welcome. 😛

  432. flyR says:

    In addition to the other good advice here one of the greatest protective devices is selectivity. Not foolproof but a great way to put the odds in your favor. Despite the politically correct talk to the contrary, hiv is highly concentrated among identifiable risk groups based on sexual and drug habits.

  433. Lainey says:

    @Dominicanluvbetta If HIV is your target here show up at next meet with OraQuik (only 3% less accurate than lab test). If you are concerned about STIs STAY concerned. They can be transmitted through sex and oral but hardly carry symptoms so if he picks it up tomorrow he can pass it to you next meet, a monthly checkup won’t change that. HPV you will only be protected against with the use of condoms but there is currently no test for men so you’d have to continuously get tested. You are not protected from herpes regardless of what you do. Condoms DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT stop you from contracting herpes. Yes they will catch the semen which also carries the virus but you also have to worry about saliva and any skin to skin. For the record, skin to skin does NOT mean genitals. Many outbreaks take place on the thigh and other areas in the pelvic region. Herpes can still be transmitted regardless of an outbreak.

    The most relevant tests here are herpes and HIV. If his test says he is negative for those even though it is a month old you should be OK because they both take time to show up in a blood/saliva test. So unless you’re willing to wait another 6 months;

    My advice is STAY STRAPPED!

  434. CookieBot says:

    @Dominica, in other words, use protection rather than going bare. And get tested.

  435. ATLSD says:

    Yea I was catching up and once I get on a role j don’t want to stop
    Good to hear you are thinking that way. I’m sure more SB could be sitting pretty if they did that.

    Also thanks to you I’ve been singing Mary poppins songs all day 😉

  436. Josh says:


    “WTF is the problem?”


  437. CookieBot says:

    @Dominica — Depending on which test and which STD, it takes two to four weeks, or even as long as six months after exposure for various infections to register positive — that’s the incubation period. Testing doesn’t guarantee anything.

  438. ATLSD says:

    @dom. Yes really. I get your concern. Especially hearing some of the stories here. Be interested to hear what the other SB say

  439. @ATL – That’s a whole lot of responses in one post. haha
    I did read it. It’d be advantageous to the SB to not drain her SD dry, but I guess to some the next will come along soon enough. Liquidity is definitely something to consider. I have been looking to invest recently with the whole “work smarter, not harder” philosophy in mind, but have to have enough liquid assets first. That’s why I prefer an allowance-type arrangement, it helps with that. Of course, I do get tempted with shiny things, but I’ve been doing really well lately!

  440. domincanluvbetta says:

    @atlsd Reallllllyyyy NEVER!!!! I guess im just green then.I cant be spontaneous with someone that im unsure of their status .Ive made my x of over6 yrs keep and updated status im definitely not making an exception for someone i hardly know.If that’s the case he should look for a common street walker.

  441. ATLSD says:

    @ domican. No one has ever asked for it. Maybe because I’m married.
    I think @lainey needs to chime in here.

  442. ATLSD says:

    @southern. Did you see the ? I asked u on here yesterday. I wanted toverify your profile.
    Are you standing in front of a fountain in one pic?

  443. ATLSD says:

    @alex. Good question about older men and different race. There was probably a older man in your life. Dad’s friend maybe that you were attracted to. Or it’s a the rebel bad girl doing something a little taboo coming out.

  444. domincanluvbetta says:

    @everyone Do you think its reasonable to ask an sd to get recent std testing before intimacy?He tried showing me a one from a month ago but i wanted something up to date .I provided mine , WTF is the problem?

  445. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy. Thanks for answering. Did it annoy it took me so long to get back after asking a question.

    @lady. I work with a text book HPD. She throws fits and all the gay guys come running.

    @spoonful. Did you see the post I made about finances and networth. I don’t think you were online at the time. It touched on what we were talking about.

    @ONSD. Bro you need to fire your coach and regroup after the holidays. Are u an actuary:)

    @josh. When I Carmelize nuns I like a hot skillet and some olive oil and pepper

    @newto this. Welcome. And that pot SB is full of shit the other SD are correct. First date coffee or drinks and appetizer. And make sure you give yourself an out. The money part takes a while to figure out.

    @sexy. Damn babe. That’s crazy but don’t get down. You are a standup person going in person to apologize. RESPECT

    @ struggles. We miss you. Hang in there

  446. flyR says:

    @new to this have you discussed allowance ranges with her

  447. CookieBot says:

    @Online, I start on a per night basis for the first week or three. It works better for me to let things grow somewhat naturally from simple sugar dates to a regular connection, so it is a pleasant surprise when we take the next steps in terms. Sometimes I’ll offer tangible incentives, but that’s kind of a last resort when she just can’t control the flakiness or self – sabotage. Unexpected rewards are a much more positive approach emotionally, for her and me.

  448. SexyRockstar says:


    See if you messaged me..and I listed moderate, my first question for you would be why did you even message me if you can’t do that much. Not to sound mean, but Mod is 3-5K a month. Feel like it would be a waste of time. But, if she is lovely, hot, and fun hopefully she will be able to meet you at what you can do.

  449. Xero says:

    Girls in the Substantial expectation often write me. I will write them back if I find them attractive but tell them that $10,000/month is out of my budget. They always write back with some type of excuse of why I shouldn’t pay attention to the expectation.

    Actual replies:
    “I didn’t really pay attention to the amounts.”
    “I don’t really want that much I just didn’t want to seem cheap.”
    “I don’t actually expect that much I just dream big.”
    “I didn’t think I would get that but I figured why not try.”

  450. Josh says:


    You should put your budget to “Practical.” What she wants is irrelevant. Most of these SBs haven’t got the foggiest what they want. So if she continues to communicate with you, she knows that your upper limit is $3000.

  451. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Cookie – we’re close on how we start. I mention staying as a weekly allowance, which is usually above her need, but below her want. The deal is that when she shows she will honor the arrangement, she is rewarded with extra spending (more or better dates and/or shopping, transition to monthly allowance and raise in allowance) if she can’t prove she can honor the agreement, it’s not going to work.

    The one time I felt things moving right, she surprised me with the diagnosis.

  452. CookieBot says:

    @New — Sometimes they are just throwing an initial number out there. “Moderate” sounds middle of the road. Other times they really mean it, and get upset if you “lowball” them. Never know till you ask. The polite way to do it is (in your own words of course), “My monthly allowance budget is X, to meet Y times a month on a long term basis to do ABC kinds of things. Is that kind of arrangement something you might consider with the right guy?”

  453. Josh says:


    If you believe that fake princesses should be matched up with fake princes, then who I am I to challenge your belief?

    However, I’d rather see real queens and princesses of Elizabeth Holmes’ style in different fields of endeavors at different levels of accomplishment.

  454. SouthernSB says:

    @Josh-I call every little boy I happen to meet a “Handsome Prince,” especially if he holds the door open for me, and even more so if he is a minority. I figure that no one ever calls little boys Princes so I might as well do it. After all, who are all those “little princesses” going to date and marry if these little boys don’t know they are princes.

  455. NewToThis says:

    Thanks everyone for the advice. My budget is $2,500/month allowance plus the other costs for dates. I’m sure this has been asked before… but when a SB puts “moderate” does she really expect $5,000/month?

  456. CookieBot says:

    @Spoonful — bush is kind of an archaic term these days, unfortunately. :-)

  457. flyR says:

    @New To This – If you asked her to suggest a place without your having set any criteria then it is probably man up to the lesson you’ll probably learn. If it was an unsolicited suggestion AND spending this much for a dinner bothers you then you have learned a good lesson. The third possibility is that she really did not think much about it.

    I’m not a fan of a fancy first date dinner for a number of reasons – you are just meeting, it is pretty structured, often other diners are too close if you want to discuss sensitive parts of the relationship including financial ans sensual expectations ( I am assuming the basics are well out of the way ) .

    Recommendation is to keep first meeting casual. No sense suffering through a long, expensive dinner of you knew in the first 10 minutes this was going to be a disaster.

    There always seem to be prying ears in restaurants especially when there is an age gap and the woman is attractive and dressed to thrill.

    Musemus are a great place to wander and talk, stop for a snack and glass of wine.

  458. CookieBot says:

    @NewToThis — “Maybe I am just being cheap?”

    Decide ahead of time what budget you are comfortable spending on sugar, including allowance and expenses, and what your expectations are. It is NEVER a matter of you being cheap or extravagant, it is a matter of whether your budget and her needs / wants are in alignment. There’s a nice SB at every budget, although sometimes it takes a while to find the right one.

    As far as this girl, my take is that Xero and Josh are correct, she’s playing a little game — “can I make this SD hop, and how high?” You might tell her you love that place, and maybe you two will go there someday, but for the first meet and greet just get a coffee or a drink somewhere quiet where you can talk and find out if you are compatible.

  459. Xero says:

    @NewToThis Don’t let her dictate where you’re going. No need for that on a first meeting.

  460. Josh says:


    Without knowing your dating experience in the recent years…if you think that she is potentially a fun woman, AND you like the kind of food/ambiance the restaurant has to offer, AND you don’t care about the outcome of the date, then go for it.

    However, keep in mind that women’s interaction with men is a series of mind game-lets.

    She suggested the venue because she want to:

    1. See if you’d flinch.

    2. Try this venue at your dime regardless of how the arrangement turns out.

    3. Set the stage for expensive dates. When in future she demands higher allowance, and you refuse, she would suggest that you two go on cheaper dates and the difference be given to her as allowance.

    You never know what mind game-let is being played on the other side so you play the game that maximizes your fun times and let her manage her fun time benefits.

  461. Xero says:

    @CookieBot It wasn’t that type of lie. It was about who and what she was. Yes a lot of this is maybe fantasy but when you don’t even know who or what your SB is it’s all pointless.

    “Anyone who buys into the exclusivity fantasy in an arrangement is asking to be disappointed.” Some of us really are exclusive. I’ve never slept around on a SB and none of them have slept around on me.

  462. NewToThis says:

    Maybe I am just being cheap?

  463. flyR says:

    ONSD – Although this place is something like the OK Corral on Acid your luck seems exceptionally bad. It’s easy to second guess but you might try changing your search habits, profile or approach.

    One of my lessons from more than a decade is to avoid Disaster Sugar saved by the White Knight. I had to explain to one that I thought she was wonderful, sexy , talented but that she attracted disasters with such regularity that it was simply to dangerous for me to hang around.

    For learner sugar – midwest, mid 20s returning to finish coolege, working part time (other than in the carnal arts)

  464. Josh says:


    “@Josh i can assure you I never went to any “collages”. Would you like a copy of my resume?”

    Sweetheart, you are repeatedly disappointing me. :(

    One does not prove their attendance of a college by offering copy of resume. The correct offer is copy of transcripts to verify coursework and GPA. 😉

  465. NewToThis says:

    Hello a potential SB and I texted each other a few times. She says she wants to go to a $100/person restaurant for our first meeting. Her profile says moderate, mines negotiable. This is my first time meeting a SB in person, is this common?

  466. Josh says:


    “I don’t want you thinking he has STDs LOL”

    I definitely hope not. @Josh Guru’s quote was exaggerated to make a point dear. But…

    According to the Center for Disease Control, there are a total of 110 million STDs among the men and women of America, with 20 million new cases being reported every year, with HPV being the most common. ;(

  467. Josh says:

    “Treat your woman as a maid and you will be the maid’s man, treat her like a queen and you will be the king.”

    King as per dictionary definition is “a male monarch of a major territorial unit; especially : one whose position is hereditary and who rules for life.”

    Queen is a king’s primary woman to fuck and bear children.

    Women are primarily pre-occupied with the concept of princess/queen. Not many parents tell their sons that they are little princes. But most women get called princesses and that brainwashing fucks them over and over in the real world.

    When a real king treats his woman as maid, it DOES NOT affect his position as the king. The real king can even throw her in jail or have her killed and assume a new primary woman to fuck and bear children from.

    It is also silly to suggest that just because he treated his queen as a maid, he became a maidsman. Anyone calling him a maidsman could be thrown in jail or get killed if he/she provoked the king beyond the tolerance limits also defined by the king himself.

    That said, if the queen assumed her position from her royal father, her husband must watch out. Try treating her anything less than the queen that she legitimately is, forget being called a “maidsman”, the husband may find himself dusting furniture like a maid.

    That takes us back to little girls being called princess and they start suggesting, “the princess I am.”, as we see in SB profiles. Forget little girls, or young women, grown-up women continue to delude themselves that THEY are the royalty and the pauper they allowed into their lives had better thankfully live up to his fleeting prince-hood or king-hood.

    Hence such idioms…if you choose to fall for them. 😉

  468. SexyRockstar says:

    UGH…now I just want him. I am so stupid.

  469. CookieBot says:

    @ ONSD — “@Cookie – are you looking for longer term, allowance style or more per visit?”

    I prefer long term, amateur SBs. But I start with per visit, and then give the arrangement a chance to grow organically into a long term connection. Sometimes it does.

  470. SexyRockstar says:

    I don’t want you thinking he has STDs LOL

  471. Josh says:

    “A douche with already exposed STDs in a bush is better that a douche with not yet exposed STDs in the same bush.” Josh Guru.

  472. Josh says:

    Here comes @Alex with Matrixish “advice” women dish out to each other in their respective Matrix.

  473. Alex says:

    @Spoonful Lol, you’d be surprised. I was reading through one of the other blogs comments. So many variations of the word sugar and or sweet in the names lol.

    @Sexy, if you’re not happy with the arrangement being offered, don’t do it. Seems like you can’t get past the idea of multiple SBs and you don’t have to. But don’t give up on everything because your ex is a douche. If he was the only one for you he wouldn’t have been married in the first place.

  474. @CookieBot- LOL “A douche in hand is worth two in the bush.” Love it!

  475. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh i can assure you I never went to any “collages”. Would you like a copy of my resume?

  476. SexyRockstar says:

    I guess for me..i’d feel odd sleeping with multiple people.

    I love sex. But he was always enough for me. It would be hard to find an SD I can see multiple times a week. Therefore: boyfriend.

  477. @Alex – No problem! Not only do I not have the time or desire to write a book, I find it hard to believe someone is going to be able to differentiate their book from the hundreds (or more) articles and books out there currently on the subject. Plus, I find it unethical to use someone’s ideas/identity/likeness without their explicit consent and I’m not going to out myself as an SB any time soon. Not so sure my family or friends would be cool with it like others’! haha

  478. Josh says:


    “@Sexy’s situation has made me wonder if my SD could possibly have another SB…”

    Of course, he could’ve been sharing his ED with multiple women.

    “Men are soo tricky, women too.. But men can lie to your face and not feel bad about it.”

    I had thought that you went to good collages, no?

  479. SexyRockstar says:

    I feel better after having a 2 hour conversation with him. Im seeing him tomorrow. I leave for Vegas this week.

  480. KennaKenna says:

    @Sexy’s situation has made me wonder if my SD could possibly have another SB…

    Men are soo tricky, women too.. But men can lie to your face and not feel bad about it.

  481. Josh says:


    “Okay well if thats the case. I’ll just have multiple SDs…and hope I don’t get multiple STDs.”

    That’s irrational again.

    You get multiple SDs IF you need multiple SDs and can handle them, and NOT because he has multiple SBs.

    You are in the current conundrum because YOU decided to go bb with him. Even if he told you that he was exclusive, you DID NOT have to go bb.

  482. SexyRockstar says:

    Okay well if thats the case. I’ll just have multiple SDs…and hope I don’t get multiple STDs.


  483. Josh says:

    As soon as the lamb roast is in the oven I am going to alter your understanding of this misleading idiom forever. 😉

  484. FlyR says:

    @lady s. Could not agree more on mutual good treatment

    When you are discussing an allowance you need think about the potential additional requests – range from never to weekly disasters which sd is expected to cover with his magical green cape. At the other end of the spectrum are SB s whose requests are pretty much limited to demands for an encore performance

  485. FatB'StardSA says:


    “Not good if you’re looking for a true MA with a genuine SB. Used to be but not anymore.”

    I am curious what a true MA and genuine SB is. From what I understand there was always an allowance field in the profiles even in the good old days. I guess SD’s used to have a genuine connection back then with SB’s who were fucking multiple SD’s and a BF.

  486. CookieBot says:

    Anyone who buys into the exclusivity fantasy in an arrangement is asking to be disappointed. All men are sluts, so I don’t need to expand on that point. The kind of woman that attracts me is hot, adventurous, free spirited, personable, and obviously has a certain mental flexibility regarding sensuality. It would be stupid of me to expect a woman like that to stay at home crocheting all week.

  487. Elaine says:


    “Treat your woman as a maid and you will be the maid’s man,
    treat her like a queen and you will be the king.” 😉

  488. FlyR says:

    @lady s. Could not agree more on mutual good treatment

  489. LadyScarlett says:

    or, dressed in a French Maid’s costume, then that is kind of sexy submissive role play.

  490. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – agree completely…with the addendum (unless her definition of queen’s treatment is to be treated like the maid) 😉

  491. LadyScarlett says:

    ‘I’ll say it again (maybe it’s time to call this an @ONSDGuru theory?) – treat your SD like a king, but don’t overact and call him the king of kings (unless, of course he’s an egomaniac and likes it that way)’

    that is true, but works both ways…treat your mistress like the maid and she will be the maid’s man, but treat her like a queen and you will be treated as the king.(i stole that from Elaine, and probably wrote it wrong, but one gets the idea).

  492. Josh says:

    @Sexy’s expectations from the guy are unrealistic. He is timesharing with her in such a way that she’s head over heels. Keep siezing the moments until he does something idiotic, such as, stopping her allowance and disrespecting her.

    Other women? Get over it.

  493. CookieBot says:

    @Josh — I’m a bot, we don’t fit into your neat little gender categories. @Sexy didn’t do anything wrong and doesn’t owe anyone an apology.

    On the other hand, you might be right that if @Sexy can work things out with the old SD she should. They seem to have had a stable and mutually agreeable thing going, whereas future arrangements are risky and unpredictable. A douche in hand is worth two in the bush.

  494. Josh says:

    Maybe I should have used Matrixish instead of femalish…but whatever… 😉

  495. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – I think @Cookie is a SD 😉

    I think everyone lies to a certain extent on their profiles on a site like this…some more than others.

    I’ll say it again (maybe it’s time to call this an @ONSDGuru theory?) – treat your SD like a king, but don’t overact and call him the king of kings (unless, of course he’s an egomaniac and likes it that way)

  496. CookieBot says:

    @Xero — ALL SBs lie. And we want them to. An arrangement is a fictional substitute for a relationship, which we each choose because of mutually advantageous terms. In other words, no, I don’t really believe she thinks my bald spot is cute, but I’m glad she says it so convincingly.

  497. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – I’m with you…there are feelings there, and she has said great things…however…he needs to know if he wants to have things exclusive (other than his spouse) he should also BE exclusive…

  498. Xero says:

    Xero never calls women names unless provoked lol and that only works on initial contact.


  499. Josh says:


    I don’t know if @CookieBot is male or female, but the advice is femalish and NOT good.

    Screw the boyfriend idea and work something out with the Drummer. Based on what you’ve posted about him, he is a good SD.

  500. Alex says:

    @Spoonful, sorry doll, my mistake =)

  501. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Cookie – are you looking for longer term, allowance style or more per visit?

  502. CookieBot says:

    @Online — You’re welcome! But now I’m confused, because my results have not been too bad, historically.

  503. Chrissy says:

    You only want him to call you bad names while he is dressed as Batman 😉

  504. SexyRockstar says:

    I need Xero to call me names. LOL

  505. SexyRockstar says:

    …I am a sad excuse for a human being. ((grabs old style)) I also just really want to see him.

  506. Xero says:

    @ONSD It’s not you. This site is PERFECT if you want to pay for a jump in the hay. Not good if you’re looking for a true MA with a genuine SB. Used to be but not anymore.

  507. CookieBot says:

    @Sexy – Don’t let him guilt trip you. You didn’t out him, or trash him — you actually said a lot of nice things about him and your relationship. Except that he lied to you, revealed that he was a male slut (redundancy alert), and it broke your heart when you found out. You owe him an apology for that? I don’t think so.

  508. SexyRockstar says:


    I just need to heal from him. It’s like the most addicting drug. Maybe it’s like falling in love with the bad boy you can’t change. His eyes…his smile. The way we kiss. I am the dumbass for falling in love.

    Ew. I feel like the bad 2nd wife.

  509. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @FatB – maybe you’re right…but of those 3 dozen women I had coffee with, there were only about 6 that were well represented by their profile that I felt inclined to continue beyond the coffee…five of which I thought I had engaged in an arrangement. Most of those meetings happened in the first three months when I was just giddy that women were “real” on this site compared to my other online experiences.

    At least 6 of my first meetings were so bad, I ended them without finishing my coffee and 3 more I did not even sit down with her the misrepresentation was so bad!

    So, yeah, it could be me…but I don’t think it was all me!

  510. Xero says:

    @Chrissy Yes but only temporarily. It picked up as soon as I smelled the food lol.

    @Lainey This one failed because she lied to me. Don’t lie to me. It’s the one thing I can’t handle. The other main POT I had a few weeks ago failed because she more or less lied to me also. I’m looking for a Longterm arrangement and she claimed to want that too. Then I found out she was leaving the state in March.

  511. Chrissy says:

    I saw some new SD/SB matchmaking site but it didn’t look like it really took off.

  512. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Cookie – THANK YOU! If DC and NYC have numbers that are LESS THAN 3:1 active less than one week, that makes me feel better about my numbers, but worse about SA!

  513. Ladyscarlett says:

    You need a good SB matchmaker, or Madame, if you will, hehe, onlineSD.

  514. FatB'StardSA says:


    “I’ve been on SA for 6 months this week…I’ve been continually disappointed with results…I’ve had coffee with about 3 dozen women in the 6 months”

    I think the problem is with you and not with the site.


    “Purely a guess but I think women are more likely to wait for a contact and respond to emails that they have mail which may shift the numbers slightly”

    Pigs must be able to fly because FlyR has actually made an intelligent observation.

  515. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – See, if I had asked, “is there anything else I can help with?” I would expect to hear about something she needed or wanted or would really be nice if she had…in my past, successful, relationships the SB would surprise me with something she thought I would enjoy and I would show gratitude, and usually ask if there was more I could do…but…within the first two weeks of a new arrangement, without ANY question from the SD, when he has proven the allowance is there and timely…no…not gonna do it! Especially with one of the two, since it was actually three meets, only two playdates, all three weeks allowance and still just a text on Monday “when can we meet this week babe?” — REALLY?

  516. CookieBot says:

    Haha, that’s funny — the blog doesn’t like less than symbols, apparently. Let’s see if this is any cleaner.

    @ONSD, @Alex, @All — I ran the numbers for two east coast metro areas, NY and DC. No filters, 25 miles from city center (which goes a long way with urban densities), most recently active sort of course.

    DC: All time — 1864 SD to 5269 SB, 2.82/1 ratio.
    1 day — 398 SD to 508 SB, 1.27/1
    1 wk — 654 SD to 1075 SB, 1.64/1

    NY: All Time — 5978 SD to more than 10,000 SB (exceeded SA cap of 10,000 results on search results)
    1 day — 1158 SD to 1962 SB, 1.69/1
    1 wk — 1890 SD to 4088 SB, 2.16/1

  517. CookieBot says:

    @ONSD, @Alex, @All — I ran the numbers for two east coast metro areas, NY and DC. No filters, 25 miles from city center (which goes a long way with urban densities), most recently active sort of course.

    DC: All time — 1864 SD to 5269 SB, 2.82/1 ratio.
    < 1 day — 398 SD to 508 SB, 1.27/1
    10,000 SB (exceeded SA cap of 10,000 results on search results)
    < 1 day — 1158 SD to 1962 SB, 1.69/1
    < 1 wk — 1890 SD to 4088 SB, 2.16/1

  518. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – last whiny comment about how “bad” I have it…I said I have had coffee with about 3 dozen women…that’s probably a bit high, but there have been at LEAST 3 no-shows for every coffee I did have with someone…

    I appreciate everyone reading my rant…and sympathizing with me in some respects…

    at a 100 mile radius, I already see profiles that are 130-150 miles driving, which puts them at 2-2.5 hours…I’m not going to waste 5 hours driving for a first meet, especially when three will cancel to every one that shows! Then, there are few SBs in that search that will drive to visit me when it’s that far away (even when I state there would be consideration for the drive time)…

  519. Ladyscarlett says:

    Oh no, you are fine, newbie. I just have a naughty sense of humour sometimes…Alaska is known for having more men than women. So, I would imagine finding an SB is more diffult there–maybe not, though. The men can survive and hunt in extreme environments and cold, so that is kind of sexy. I like real bearded lumberjacks, too(for fun)not the hipsters who look like lumberjacks in drag, hehe.

    It can be hard, and is often feast or famine, on the SB side. Just when I think, wow, the site has gone downhill really badly, then I will get approached by a few good quality men.

    If the women are agreeing to your allowance amount, or okay with the arrangement you both set up, then they should not ‘constantly’ be asking for new expenses/bills that pop up. This can be stressful for a man, or make him feel like it is all about her. However, I think it is a little expected that the SB will occasionally ask..I view it as someone who ‘wants’ to help, so some of my past relationships, the man would ask if I needed anything extra, which is much nicer than my bringing it up. It is very humiliating for me to have to ask, if an allowance is ‘forgotten’ or a promise is not followed up on. I had a couple like this, and they are the equivalent the SBs who expect or demand too much. The men that forget your allowance or say they will do something, but then do not. The SB should not constantly ask for things, especially, if you guys are new in arrangement, but in my opinion, an SD should want to help with additional things, occasionally, or do nice gestures. Just like I think the lady should also do sweet extras for her benefactor. It should not be one sided… And, neither party should feel stressed by having to ask for things, as an SB, or the man feeling like he is just a line of credit, and she does not care about your marital situation with the money being sent. Is a shame that two good potential people probably often miss each other, due to all the bad apples they encounter.

  520. Chrissy says:

    Ahh, what a nightmare, so sorry that happened to you. It is so easy to forget that everyone can see what we are writing on here and sometimes we all need to vent.

  521. SexyRockstar says:

    You got my digits. I’ll still be on here.

  522. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – So sorry hun…keep in touch though…I may need your expertise on sorting through some of these crazies!

  523. Southbymidwest says:

    Yet another pot SD flake today. After I was already on the way there. I really don’t understand why its so difficult this time around to meet an SD who is actually serious about this. It wasn’t always like this.
    How many chances do you give someone to reschedule before you write them off?
    Would like to hear from either the SDs or SBs on this one.

  524. Chrissy says:

    they say*

  525. Chrissy says:

    I feel ONSD’s pain. I live in a pretty large city but most of the SDs that are interested in me must have the same trouble as him because they’re from as far as 3-4 hours away even though they same they don’t regularly come into this city for business.

  526. SexyRockstar says:

    So, Drummer Douche stumbled upon the blog, read everything i’ve written about him. That’s my bad. And frankly, slightly immature of me I guess…bashing him the way I did on the blog.

    Called Ninja. I still plan on seeing him but I won’t sleep with him. Last date tho.

    Drummer and I are planning on meeting on Wes. I owe him an IN person apology. Then that’s it. I am done with sugar. My whole experience with him has made me realize a few things. Men will cheat. Men will lie. Women are just as crazy.

    I think i’ll try to find a boyfriend. I do get lonely. I just wish life wasn’t as complicated. I wish I can have the fairy tale life that every girl dreams about. I’ll still be on the blog. I won’t be posting much due to the Vegas trip coming up.

  527. Alex says:

    But it’s still Michigan and Indiana…they are flyover states for a reason. Haaahaha just jokin. Those are some pretty shitty odds. Are you already looking as far as you’re willing to go? I’m currently talking to someone 700mi away. 100mi wouldn’t even bring up LA in a search.

  528. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    ^^^Sorry, forgot to put in different than the arrows…the fourth was diagnosed with a degenerative condition that I was not about to hold her hand through…done it with friends and clients…and an arrangement is supposed to be light-hearted fun, not depressing medical worry…

  529. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – sorry if I came across wrong…I’ve been on SA for 6 months this week…I’ve been continually disappointed with results…I’ve had coffee with about 3 dozen women in the 6 months…thought I had an agreement with 5 different women over the course of this time…2 proved they were not up to expectations within the first two meets (couldn’t do more than text on Monday, “when can I see you babe?”) another couldn’t stop talking about everything she was planning for her kids (never mind the fact she didn’t have a job and expected ME to pay for her AND HER KIDS activities) – these three were within the first three month membership purchase I made…I signed up for another because at least I was meeting people (where other sites had ZERO interactions)…then I met another and after the second meeting she sent me a text “oh, by the way I was just diagnosed with “. The final one I thought I had ‘locked in’ was a cancer survivor (even though she was mid 20s) and a fighter, with goals and a life she wanted…but she couldn’t stop talking about needing more money for new expenses that kept popping up!

    So, when I continue to look through the Search results and see “all the potential” it’s frustrating…and my membership expires this week…I’m not sure I want to renew it…

  530. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – only 10% of the audience in Alaska as an entire state compared to my 100-mile search radius…

  531. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – hahaha, maybe, but I’m too old for that damn cold…

  532. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Alex – oh, yeah, how could I forget the “collage” girl that is at least one of the 10 profiles…and then the one undesirable (just doesn’t meet what I would consider attractive for whatever reason).

    So, out of every 10 profiles, there are only about 20% active within the last week, then you have at least one of each of these profiles in the remainder:
    Tire Kicker – this is the new signup that hasn’t vacated the search
    Collage (or “I am women”)

    Which means for every 10 profiles, I have to look through three more to find one that might be worth a conversation…that’s not even a 1:1 ratio!

  533. Ladyscarlett says:

    OnlineSD, you should try Alaska…heard there are a ton of SBs there 😉

  534. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Alex – I’m near one of the larger cities in Michigan, and with a 100-mile search, I’m even grabbing some of northern Indiana in my numbers…

    I also ran the numbers with just the State of Michigan…they were VERY similar to my 100-mile search when you get to ratios.

    You may be right, with the larger metros like NYC, LV, LA, etc the ratios might be skewed. But, I think that’s where the rest of my discussion earlier comes into play…I think locally, and @Dazed has verified the populated parts of Michigan outside my 100-mile search are similar, if you look at every 10 profiles on SA, you have at least one that is a tire-kicker (@flyR’s drunken/stoner signup late at night), you have at least one “pro” hoping to become a salaried escort, you have at least one that is a princess (“knows her value, so you think you can afford me”)…damn…now I can’t remember all five of the personalities I reference before, taking my Michigan 6:1 number down to 1:1…because the real reality is that it’s probably closer to 1:3 SB:SD in Michigan and locally for me, with all the different types of profiles I’ve encountered!

  535. @Alex– I never said I was writing a book?? I think you might be confusing me with someone else. I don’t have time to write a book, nor would I want to write one! Yeck!
    Thanks on the compliment on the avatar! :)

  536. Ladyscarlett says:

    @Alex, that is true…I do not live in a small city–actually, a rather large one, but prefer my arrangements out of town/long distance, where the gentleman travels to more locations for his career, too, that interest me, as I am not a fan of the city I reside. So, I tend to look or focus on men who message me from other areas. I can only imagine, if you are in a smaller town….

  537. Ladyscarlett says:

    Petron Tequile? You mean, Patron Tequila 😉

  538. Alex says:

    But those numbers are for your area and are not reflective of a more metropolitan area right? Maybe 8:1 is the average because I seems like LA. Vegas and New York, maybe even Bay Area would have much better ratios for SDs. All the really “qualified” SBs are probably already trying to make their way to a major city lol.

  539. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @flyR – I’m not going to sell my business to do an entire research project on this…I think the better takeaway is that SA should start to revise the marketing numbers to be more representative of reality…in a 2:1 market the odds of finding the person, connecting with the person, timing the initial conversation and meet, etc. is slim at best…and for the SBs who “know their worth” and want to demand the higher Expectations, they should understand the audience they have available…where they might be pricing themselves out of the game!

  540. Alex says:

    @Lainey that’s pretty awesome, my mom knows what I’m up to but I’ll fill my dad in once I’m really into someone lol. Family group text is pretty close.

  541. flyR says:

    great analysis — one of the questions is how many of each sex are actually looking.

    unattached lookers
    upgrade lookers
    troubled relationship lookers
    price comparison lookers

    Purely a guess but I think women are more likely to wait for a contact and respond to emails that they have mail which may shift the numbers slightly

    The final takeaway is that the odds for either are not impossible.

  542. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Okay, @Josh, just finished the SD side of my numbers research…here it goes:

    my 100 mile sort from my zip code, zero overweight, zero heavy smoker designation…no other filters…

    High – 6
    Substantial – 19
    Moderate – 40
    Practical – 82
    Minimal – 40
    Negotiable – 382

    Active within 1 day:

    High – 0
    Substantial – 3
    Moderate – 6
    Practical – 16
    Minimal – 4
    Negotiable – 100

    Active within 1 week:
    High – 3
    Substantial – 4
    Moderate – 11
    Practical – 27
    Minimal – 11
    Negotiable – 154

    So…revising the numbers I face looking for the “perfect” SB…and the SB has for finding her “perfect” SD when they both are looking for someone within 100 miles of my zip code:

    2364 ‘total’ SB : 469 ‘total’ SD = roughly 4.5:1
    445 ‘last week active’ SB : 210 ‘last week active’ SD = roughly 2:1

    Looking at specific Expectation reveals something too:
    High = 90 SB : 6 SD (14:3 active in last week)
    Substantial = 179 SB : 19 SD (21:4 active in last week)
    Moderate = 375 SB : 40 SD (57:11 active in last week)
    Practical = 441 SB : 82 SD (93:27 active in last week)
    Minimal = 80 SB : 40 SD (21:11 active in last week)
    Negotiable = 1199 SB : 382 SD (239:154 active in last week)

    Looks like Minimal and Negotiable match up best at 2:1 or less active in last week.

    I’ve got State of Michigan numbers as well…local may actually have better odds in some of the Expectation levels!

  543. Lainey says:

    @Alex I feel you! My dad is my best friend. I even talk about my dates with him. Like when I had my super psycho SD my dad was the one that was like ” give me his info and stop talking to him!”.

    My family is super close in general we all talk in a group text every day.

  544. SouthernSB says:

    resop-Drinking age in Germany is 16 up from 14 when I was there in the 70’s and really early 80’s, and the drinking age in Mexico is only 18. Not only that if you and your girl go on a picnic and she doesn’t cause a lot of trouble and you don’t get caught you could have a glass of wine with an 18 year old at a concert in the park or on a private beach or something. I haven’t met a co-ed yet, that isn’t at least a social drinker, just keep her out of the club on college night or your “social drinker” will probably turn into a “hot mess.”

  545. Alex says:

    @Spoonful that is because you slayed yourself with the book writing comment =/ I think everyone is kind of weary of being a subject. I feel you probably don’t intend such at all, but the taste is still in one’s mouth. Your forum could probably do really well if you work on your SEO and marketing…just probably not with anyone on this blog. But that’s just my opinion, and in no way is it intended to come off as more. P.s. You have amazing, um, an amazing avatar 😉

  546. SexyRockstar says:

    Afternoon everyone.
    My oldest daughter thinks there should be a movie about her too. LOL, it’s of funny. She is a rockstar in her own right. Gotta love kids.

  547. Alex says:

    I just had a thought (hurt like hell). @Chrissy and @ATL, how does the daddy issue come into play if you’re attracted to a different race than your father? Also, yes my dad has been in my life, my whole life lol.

  548. @Alex- click on my name…created it a while ago upon request and nobody seemed to want to add to it. @All- feel free to use it if you want. I can’t see when someone joins/their info other than what they put in their public profile. The only reason the “rules” are there is because that’s the TOS of the site.

    On a side note– if you block an SD, they can most definitely see your profile still… So really, SA? No protection from the crazies other than their lack of messaging abilities. -_-

  549. Lainey says:

    NOOOOOOO @Xero I was really hoping it would work out! How are these girls failing even before the meet?

  550. Lainey says:

    I should refresh before commenting. Lol. I can’t seem to get out of bed. It’s so cold (I keep my house at 63 to sustain my permanent bitch face). Kid has half day because Chanukah starts tonight and no work because I have to prepare the house

  551. Alex says:

    $3 Bs huh? Baallllliiin lol. The cans on the side of the road comment was funny honestly.

  552. Chrissy says:

    The POT SB made you lose your appetite?

  553. Xero says:

    Had to let main POT go. Going to lunch with not much of an appetite.

  554. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – what was your email? @Sexy isn’t on here yet…I’ll contact you directly for the zip code if you can do the SD research numbers…

  555. Josh says:


    Do you realize that your posts are idiotic and contemptuous for those down on their luck? And your post are generally condescending to SBs. Since they don’t make much sense no one picks up the condescension. :(

    Do you know the guy who owns Petron tequile and Paul Mitchell’s personal grooming products once collected soda bottles and cans to feed himself and is infant son? He now has $3 Bs.

  556. Chrissy says:

    I am quite delayed. I do drink coffee on a rare occasion but I try to consume no caffeine.

  557. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – no, I did not do the breakdown for SD…didn’t want to go through creating an additional SB “fake” profile to pull the numbers…I may ask @Sexy to run them for me though…that’s why I suggested the research project! 😉

  558. Josh says:


    Did you reseach SD data in the same fashion?

  559. Lainey says:

    Lol speaking of writing a book about oneself. My daughter, while jumping on our bungee trampoline yesterday says, “they should make a movie about me!”

    And so it begins.

  560. Ladyscarlett says:

    Atlanta, I actually knew what histrionic meant. A few women I know/observe seem to have this disorder…

    We would never know what Josh looks like, even on the show. He would never come out of his room and would mumble to everyone, from his door, and the women would get mad because he never came out and rinsed his dishes, then he would get really angry because he would think the women meant they were literally trying to ‘rinse’ him. FlyR would get salt all over the house… It would be a mess…

  561. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Alright…I’m a numbers guy…so…I MUST post this. We also had some discussions about actual numbers for the 8:1 ratio marketed by SA.

    When I got the numbers on SDs in Michigan and Searched raw SB numbers, it was a 6:1 ratio. Now, I’ve taken that a little more local

    @Dazed – you might appreciate this as well…if you have some down time, try this for your area, I’m interested!

    I searched SB profiles, only excluding Overweight body type and Heavy Smoker designation…no age filter, height filter, ethnicity filer…within 100 miles of my zip code:
    High Expectation – 90 profiles
    Substantial – 179 profiles
    Moderate – 375 profiles
    Practical – 441
    Minimal – 80
    Negotiable – 1199

    But, I know they’re not all active, so I looked at the numbers for logged in within the last 24 hours (if they showed as 1 day ago or more, they were excluded):
    High – 7
    Substantial – 11
    Moderate – 27
    Practical – 21
    Minimal – 15
    Negotiable – 104

    And finally, if I look at those who have at least been active within one week (if they showed as 1 week or more they were excluded)
    High – 14
    Substantial – 21
    Moderate – 57
    Practical – 93
    Minimal – 21
    Negotiable – 239

    What this tells me is that less than 20% (18.9 to be more precise) of the profiles in my area meet my definition of “active” logging on within the last week. I know this doesn’t account for the one time creators, but it also doesn’t account for the SBs in active arrangements that might have deactivated or just gone dormant while connected…So, if this applies for all of Michigan’s 6:1 ratio:

    20% are “active” meaning there is ONE profile for every SD profile across the state!

    THIS would actually be a great research project…forget the personalities…let’s actually show how the “numbers” are REALLY working on the site!!!!

  562. Josh says:


    Now I have two things to Google on my list HPD and Caramelized Nun. 😉

  563. ATLSD says:

    I really got to go. One last ?

    @ Chrissy do you drink coffee?

  564. Xero says:

    POT update: Had to dismiss (for various reasons) all but 2 POTs. I admit that 1 of the ones even suprised me! Turned out too bitchy. She looked so nice lol. Still have to let go 1 of the 2 I knew I would have to let go so that just leaves 1 POT. It’s the main POT though so all is good for now.

    Main POT may be out too. I’ve laid a bear trap for her and if she lies, she’s out. If she doesn’t, this is probably my girl.

  565. flyR says:

    I think the SA reality show would probably fail to deliver because people would know they are in front of the camera. Perhaps a concept like “Sugar In The City” with a series of characters wandering through sugarland

  566. ATLSD says:

    “either, but the thought of certain characters on there, from blog, would be entertaining for sure, hehe.”

    Yeah we would then find out that @josh is really a 300 lbs Carmelite Nun.

  567. ATLSD says:

    “That was really a plea to take it up a notch so that I don’t feel out in the cold being naughty. ”
    Thank you lordy. I was worried for a minute. I can take it up a notched. Though still doesn’t solved sexual frustration issues.

  568. Alex says:

    I am pretty submissive, but I think I just over analyze and thus expect everyone else to. Hah! @Flyr

  569. ATLSD says:

    @lady. Damn right

    @ Alex. Everybody googled that including the lurkers and Admins.

    @chrissy. ” I need to know what time of day he is jerking it for when I confront him at the horse track.” You just made made my case. XO

  570. Ladyscarlett says:

    Oh, agreed…I would never be on it either, but the thought of certain characters on there, from blog, would be entertaining for sure, hehe.

  571. Chrissy says:

    That was really a plea to take it up a notch so that I don’t feel out in the cold being naughty. 😉

    I cannot even imagine the mayhem on that reality TV show of SDs and SBs. Although I am not sure who would agree to be on it. Not exactly discreet.

  572. Ladyscarlett says:

    Hehe, not book but case study…if I were a psychologist, then would be interesting observation for sure 😉

    Someone awhile back said there should be a reality show with a bunch of SD’s and SB’s thrown together in a house. While I loathe most reality(fake US reality, anyways), think that might be an entertaining show, if certain SB’s and SD’s from blog were picked for the show. I know who would be the entertaining characters 😮

  573. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy “Being attracted to a distinguished older men does not mean that I have daddy issues, by that assumption shouldn’t all the SBs have daddy issues then? ” not all of the SB wang older SD. Some try for SD in there age range. But I would still think “yes” a lot do.

    Very astute of you not to answer the HPD question? I respect you for that.

    “Can I ever behave?” It’s hard. I have sexual frustration issues. And it’s not like you are completely innocent on here. But I can take it down a notch and behave. Ask @struggles. When she comes back.

    With that, I have to go do Manley man stuff. I’ll be back

  574. Chrissy says:

    – one totally for less ditzy-ness

  575. Chrissy says:

    I would NEVER write a book on you all! I would totally write a book on my own life where I would fabricate and embellish many of my own stories. I am totally interesting enough! 😉

  576. Chrissy says:

    Ok guys, I am now tracking when the pot SD I went out with in September is looking at my photos. Is that email that someone looked at your profile timestamp pretty accurate. I need to know what time of day he is jerking it for when I confront him at the horse track.

  577. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – please do not encourage ANOTHER blog SB to start to write a book…it will significantly cut down on the advice given by participants (maybe – or it might just spice things up a bit).

  578. flyR says:

    Josh – did you ever consider that if you took the time you spend here dispensing adolescent, snarky comments and invested it in something worthwhile like picking up aluminum cans along the highway, you could afford a real SB and the contemplative time might even allow you to think of women as real people. This might even cause you to trust women with your “true” id and even . . . . . naked to naked body contact…. Your vocabulary might evolve as words and phrases like “”down there”” shifted into more adult and respectful words and phrases. Until then the blog will continue to resemble a NY sidewalk , interesting, exciting but lots of little piles of dog crap that need to be avoided.

  579. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Alex – if an SD is concerned over the number of times you’ve logged in late at night/early in the morning, they may be a bit too controlling to consider a quality SD (unless you’re into the control and complete submission…then, you might want to make sure you have an easy to remember safe word)

  580. Ladyscarlett says:

    “You would know what HPD (histrionic…) is. Pretty sure we have at least 2 on here?

    you have a lot more than that on here! we have sociopaths, narcissists, misogynists, assholery(that is LS term)…. is a cornucopia of social disorders and psychopathy. Take your pick 😉 Chrissy, enough for an interesting case study. What would one call that study? The blog crazies is how I refer to it often, hehe 😮

  581. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Alex – I think, because I use my phone to access the site, it shows me ALWAYS online…DON’T worry about when it shows you were last online…MOST SDs don’t actually look at their watch and say, “Wow, she was online 9 hours ago and it’s 12pm, that means she was online at 3am…this is the fourth day in a row like this…I’ll bet she works at a club or something” — MOST SDs do their Search and stop looking as they scroll and someone’s last login was 2 days ago, or 1 week ago, or whatever they have determined to be the definition of “active”

  582. Alex says:

    (Googles HPD histrionic).

  583. Alex says:

    If I were clubbing how/why would I be online? Haha. @Chrissy, good idea lol. Especially here.

  584. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATLSD – I was hoping you would catch that…brother from another mother 😉

  585. Chrissy says:

    I grow too attached to the unusual ones, I know I should keep my options open.

    Can you ever behave!?

  586. flyR says:

    @alex – If I see someone on at 3 am on a regular basis the red light goes off that they work at a club or other which closes at 2AM or that they are out clubbing too many nights.

  587. Chrissy says:

    Being attracted to a distinguished older men does not mean that I have daddy issues, by that assumption shouldn’t all the SBs have daddy issues then?
    Yeah, we get such a bad reputation for being all fcked up. I think it is from listening to people complain all day, so whingey.

    “You would know what HPD (histrionic…) is. Pretty sure we have at least 2 on here? Your thoughts?”
    I would never comment on such a thing! I have totally learned my lesson before diagnosing someone jokingly/serious via the internet.

  588. ATLSD says:

    @ONSD SAYS: “you gotta do you first”

    Based on Chrissy’s previous post history. I think it’s well established ” she takes care of herself. “. 😉

  589. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Alex – don’t worry about what time you’re logged in on the site…I can almost guarantee the SDs aren’t noticing the TIME you login, just whether it’s been in the last (however long they feel is being “active”).

  590. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Chrissy – if the SD has plans, don’t let it bother YOU…if they can’t ‘lock it in’ before someone else finds the time, it’s THEIR loss!

    I know you connected with a couple of pots and like the potential with them, but you gotta do you first…how often will they be “too busy” for you? If someone else finds you, and has the time for you, ‘lock it in’!

  591. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy ” have geography commitment issues “. That’s funny.
    Well we have lots of people with issues here. I think your services would be welcome.

    You also said you like older men. Which means you probably have “Daddy issues”. 😉
    I swear shrinks have more issues then their clients.

    You would know what HPD (histrionic…) is. Pretty sure we have at least 2 on here?
    Your thoughts?

  592. Chrissy says:

    With your constant linking of her I have been reading up on her. She is quite awe inspiring. I do not think my skillset quite translates though.

    Yeah I have no reason to not check my messages and respond. I just felt like some of the current POTs were just getting restless waiting to meet due to their own holiday plans and more hectic than normal schedules.

  593. Alex says:

    Lol I care more about getting a forum. It’s not that hard to build, I don’t know why SA hasn’t.

    You have a good point @Online, but it’s more so to hide my insomniatic log in times than every time I’m on. If you see me online at 3am, you are too and thus less likely to judge lol.

  594. Josh says:


    @ONSD is right. Ignore @flyR’s silly, incomprehensible musings.

  595. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Chrissy – If you are not going to check your email, and at least send a somewhat generic “Thanks for your message, I appreciate your interest, but I’m focused on my family at the moment. I plan on sending along a more detailed message just after Christmas/New Years. If you are still available then, I look forward to continuing this conversation!” then don’t keep your profile active. You’re right, it might piss off a pot to not get a response when he’s going through something and looking for that match to get away from it for even a brief moment…

    If, however, you DO plan on sending a generic message while you’re focused on family (I would say within at least a day of receiving the message) then keep it active! You never know who might be browsing and latch on!

  596. Josh says:


    Apply for a job at Theranos. That Holmes woman is going to rule the business world for the next 30 years. If I were younger I would try to get into the company.

  597. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Alex – When I run a Search, I get “Hidden” profiles right in with those other profiles (probably logged in around the same time)…so…if your profile appears on the first page of results and every other profile on the first page says “Online” to me, you’re Online…if it shows in the middle of a bunch of profiles that are “1 week ago” you were logged in 1 week ago to me…if that’s your ONLY real reason, I wouldn’t encourage it…as a SD, I’ve got you pegged wherever your profile falls, regardless of your login reality…

  598. Josh says:


    Does the artificially expensive salt stay in the showcase or elsewhere in the store?

  599. Chrissy says:

    LPC-the licensed part. I have geography commitment issues which makes getting licensed difficult due to the differing laws in every state. I started the process to get certified in alcohol and drug counseling at my current job but I know I will not stay for 3 years here either due to ethical concerns, so! It is much more tempting to just get my PsyD or I could figure out where I want to live.

    Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I could very well miss out on opportunities that way but I know some people could be perturbed that I did not immediately reply either.

  600. ATLSD says:

    @alex. Ok gotcha. A few of the SB on here have or had premium. U may want to ask them if it’s worth it.

  601. Josh says:


    “@ATL basically just so I can hide my log ins. I think that’s the only difference.”

    So you don’t want the POTs o know that you’re constantly logged in? 😉

  602. Alex says:

    @ATL basically just so I can hide my log ins. I think that’s the only difference.

  603. ATLSD says:

    @alex. Why would you want a premium membership? Women on here get all the stuff free, do they not?

  604. flyR says:


    “I am thinking about hiding my profile over the holidays. Is that strange/bad idea that I don’t want to meet anyone that I haven’t already set a meeting up with for the next 1.5 weeks”

    Holidays are times when many people realize they need something more in their life….. Perhaps you keep the profile up, if you get an interesting note simply reply that you like what they wrote but that you are focused on family and the holiday and look forward to talking after Christmas or new year, whichever applies .

    Just because the store is closed you do not turn out the showcase lights.

  605. ATLSD says:

    @struggles. <3

  606. ATLSD says:

    @ Chrissy. I don’t know what you look like other then your old avatar and my vivid imagination based on your own descriptions.
    But I’m pretty sure it’s ok for you to eat a stack of pancakes once in awhile and a couple of Christmas cookies.

    P.S. Are you a LCSW? CACll??

  607. flyR says:

    “”Here’s a question…when someone lists occupation as “Independent Contractor” does that really mean escort or stripper?””

    Given that too many profiles are written in the dark of the night and probably after a few adult beverages or tokes it could mean industrial debutante or simply sloppy writing. There should be other clues in the profile but handle with care.

    It might be a bookkeeper, nuclear scientist or porn star –

    The good side of this is that the title may have turned away much of the competition.

  608. Alex says:

    *not how they are paid.

  609. Chrissy says:

    Yeah that language definitely sounds like escorts. That is exactly the kind of wording that they use in personal ads when pimps are soliciting underage runaways and the like that they are just “coming through town for awhile.” They never stick around in one place long.

  610. Alex says:

    That’s what I apparently failed at saying. They most likely are a stripper or prostitute, otherwise they would have stated a field like Chrissy said, not how they are . As an independent contractor, I wouldn’t list that as an occupation.

  611. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – that was my thought exactly…”traveling” to me is one of the strippers with a “national following” typically also doing porn on the side…

  612. Josh says:


    Entertainer = stripper

    Travelling woman = Advertising in Backpage as well as SA and God knows where else.

  613. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Chrissy – exactly!

    While I understand the privacy issues that @Josh has talked about, there has to be SOMETHING to initially talk about…I’m not going to ask someone what they do as an I.C. – the question on the profile was their occupation. If someone is that “shady” on here to not even TRY to put SOMETHING up there that is an ACTUAL occupation, or at least an industry, it doesn’t make sense to even TRY to connect with them (IMHO)

  614. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Alex – I’m pretty sure the three “Independent Contractor” profiles I’ve seen this morning were either escorts or strippers…two of them “travel so much, but I’m here for a couple of weeks and would like to find someone local” (paraphrased to protect the guilty) the third talked about being an entertainer.

    Yes, I understand it’s talking about HOW they are paid, not what they do to get paid…I’ve been an I.C. for most of my career…it’s the way my industry works…but it wouldn’t be how I label my work…

  615. Chrissy says:

    Most independent contractors are still in a field that they would likely identify as another category, no?

  616. Alex says:

    @Online hmm…my guess is probably, or one would’ve listed the field instead of how they’re paid. Technically I’m an independent contractor, but that doesn’t have much to do with what I do lol. When in doubt, just ask.

  617. Alex says:

    *and/or just want time with their families.

  618. Alex says:

    @Chrissy I don’t think it’s strange or a bad idea at all (but I am new to this lol). A lot of people are really busy this time of year and/just want time with their families.

  619. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Here’s a question…when someone lists occupation as “Independent Contractor” does that really mean escort or stripper?

  620. Chrissy says:

    I really shouldn’t ever answer Josh seriously. When am I ever going to learn? I know for certain he didn’t think I actually worked at a donut shop, and yet here I find myself. :(

  621. Alex says:

    @SA I will build a forum for your site in exchange for premium membership. Haha

  622. Alex says:

    I’ve already said I don’t blame any man for my decisions @Josh, why are you so eager to? Lol.

    @Online, right on it sir 😉

  623. Chrissy says:

    I already said I work at a hospital and that I get up earlier so that I can work out before I get to work. I just like having my afternoons and evenings completely free to do whatever I want! Although often that is taking a nap so I can stay up late but you know, flexibility has it’s advantages.

  624. Josh says:


    “I wake up at 2AM”

    Do you work at A donut shop?

  625. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Why is it nearly impossible for SB profiles to distinguish between singular and plural?

    I am SO SICK of reading “I am a lighthearted women” — I encourage EVERY SB reading this blog to check her profile and make sure you’ve got the proper word written!

  626. Chrissy says:

    I wake up at 2AM anyways so this is really like my lunchtime.
    I am thinking about hiding my profile over the holidays. Is that strange/bad idea that I don’t want to meet anyone that I haven’t already set a meeting up with for the next 1.5 weeks. I feel like people I have started to talk to are delaying things anyways because of this so? (Understandably as well)

  627. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Sorry — too early

    @SugarandSpice – Why do you think you would be a perfect SB for me?

  628. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @SugarandSpice – Yeah, I’d recommend choosing a new name…lots of baggage with that moniker…

    Why do you think you would make a perfect SD for me?

  629. Josh says:

    @Chrissy, good one. I guess that you’re a liberated young woman destined to do good in life…

    I wonder who that “jealous bitch” blames for making cookies to fatten other women. 😉


    “Same guy in 2013” and “willing to do porn.”

    Men’s fault? 😉

  630. Alex says:

    Plus mainstream modeling isn’t a passion for me. I tend to seek out more unique concepts which usually aren’t paid, just for the experience. I even landed a gig as an apprentice SFX make up artist through a shoot once.

  631. Alex says:

    Although you keep specifying lingerie. I couldn’t tell you that specifically, I don’t even know how many lingerie shoots I’ve done compared to the others.

    Sidenote…I’m pretty sure someone is killing a cat outside…=/

  632. Alex says:

    LOL @Chrissy!

    I’m bored as hell and it’s not even 6am where I am so I’ll entertain you for now @Josh. Same guy in 2013, who I don’t blame btw, was my choice. I’ve probably made only about 5 or 6 k in a year. My area isn’t exactly a Mecca for that unless you’re super model height or willing to do porn.

  633. Chrissy says:

    I spelled my email address wrong :(

  634. Chrissy says:

    It is before 9:00AM and I have already eaten 2 holiday cookies and I can guarantee you a woman baked them. I am blaming some jealous bitch for trying to make me fat. 😉 Good thing I wake up 2 hours before work so I can work out and their evil plotting will not work.

  635. Josh says:


    “@Josh for most of 2014 I was in a relationship with an insecure guy and didn’t model.”

    You know that all women have an inalienable right to blame one man, a group of men or the whole MANkind for anything undesirable that happens to them? So you’re covered there. 😉

    How about 2013…how much money did you make with lingere modeling in that year?

    I am sure that one of the blog SBs is soon going to pop her head and tell you, “you don’t have to answer Josh’s questions, @Alex.” 😉

  636. Alex says:

    On the flip side I also occasionally haul junk/do various handyman tasks with my 75yo grandma. Most of my income though comes from providing child care and slanging food lol. But irregardless (which I love for not being a word). As I stated, modeling is where most of my pics come from because unlike most women my age, I don’t do selfies (not saying it’s wrong if you do). My profile pic I took on purpose just to have one recent since I’m dating again lol.

  637. Alex says:

    Of course rates go up with travel, or down if it’s an awesome concept and or would benefit my portfolio immensely.

  638. Alex says:

    @Josh for most of 2014 I was in a relationship with an insecure guy and didn’t model. My rates are $200/artistic nude (meaning no crotch or overly sexy shots). $100-$200 an hour for implied depending on sexiness required. And $60-$150 an hour for lingerie. I could probably get more if I weren’t so short lol. Why are you asking?

  639. Josh says:


    “majority of my modeling has been lingerie or implied so too sexy for public photos.”

    How much money did you make in 2014 with your lingere modeling?

  640. Alex says:

    It’s called gravatar.com and you’ll probably wanna pic a new name. There seems to be some bad blood associated with that one lol.

  641. SUGARANDSPICE says:

    how does one even add a photo on here? I never commented before, always just lurked around the replies!

  642. SUGARANDSPICE says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD let me be your perf sugar baby! 😉

  643. Alex says:

    @Struggle Lainey is right, I’m sure most here would love to be there for you hun. Keep your head up and feel free to vent if need be.

    @Lainey I get what you mean about the pic, but I don’t know that I have a better full length one. I almost never take pictures of myself and the majority of my modeling has been lingerie or implied so too sexy for public photos. I mostly just wanted to show that I’m not fat or have huge boobs since that’s a criteria for some. And thank, I listened to @Struggle and @ATL and lost the rambling (comment and otherwise). Although, in fairness, I don’t mind the more eccentric SDs who to enjoy that lol.

    Am I really the only person awake? [email protected]€k insomnia =<

  644. Lainey says:

    @StruggleIsReal Sorry to hear that love. I’m sure many of us here would not mind being your distraction, while you’re out being other’s strength. Xo

  645. SexyRockstar says:

    aww babe, I’m sorry <3 ((hugs))

  646. KennaKenna says:

    My condolences.. @Struggle

  647. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Thoughts with you @Struggle…wife found out today a babysitter when she was young passed today as well from the big C…be safe yourself in travels!

  648. StruggleIsReal says:

    Hug your loved ones friends. I lost one tonight in an accident. Not an immediate family member, but a family member I cherished greatly, and who left behind an amazing wife and incredible kids that I am so close too. I’m traveling tomorrow first thing to be with them. This man is likely the age of many of you SDs. I know it’s silly to be here now posting but I needed a diversion from the fog and you weirdos have grown on me, what can I say. I’ll still be around because I’ll be doing a lot of traveling, consoling, waiting around and will need a distraction in between the moments. Be well. Hug your loved ones.

  649. Josh says:


    Now this post-menopausal cunt also asks Holmes “you still don’t have any woman on the board, right?” and Holmes smilingly points to herself. 😉

    After the post-menopausal cunt ended her harassment, Holmes provides a fundamental lesson for SBs from 20:50 till the end of the video.

  650. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @resop2 & @Josh – I would agree, if drinks are going to be involved, they will be consumed at a bar/restaurant. At least until I feel more confident about age and her ability to handle her liquor!

  651. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Sorry treat you poorly

  652. Josh says:


    I have never bought alcohol or even served it to a person younger than 21. My worry is being with an under-18 SB who is pretending to be well over 18.

  653. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @JayGay – I wish you luck in your search, and if there are profile on this site that advertise as looking for male SBs and get you poorly, I’m sorry. No one deserves mistreatment.

  654. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @resop2 – COMPLETELY AGREE!!!!!

  655. JayGaySBboi01 says:

    My wishes are simple. Respect me and you’ll get the same respect in return. I’m never demanding or greedy, so I don’t expect that kind of treatment from a SD. I love to travel and honestly enjoy the simple things in life. I”m just tired of struggling. Hope some handsome SD makes all of my wishes come true this Christmas :).

  656. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    I’ve got hushed, but I have a personal line and a business line. I am often using one for hotspot or gps while on a call with the other, because I feel there is no safe Wi-Fi unless it’s mine.

  657. resop2 says:

    I’m still freaked out over how many SB profiles I see where the SB is younger than 21 (legal drinking age) and lists herself as a social drinker.

  658. Josh says:


    Hushed or something similar?

  659. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – ANYTHING to eliminate a phone from my pocket. I’m not an ADD crowd… Just sick of carrying two phones around!

  660. Josh says:

    I am totally infatuated with this chick. :)


    Fascinating interview with Elizabeth Holmes. Her voice and talking style is “interesting”. I think that Henry Kissinger coached her to talk like that. 😉

    Brilliant, brilliant woman indeed…

    However at 16:00 we witness shear idiocity of the half-brained cunt who asks this brilliant woman when she is going to put a woman in the board. Holmes responded, “I hope I qualify as the first one [on the board].” Holmes is the ChairMAN of the board LOL and men of the highest caliber []http://www.theranos.com/our-company[] have decided to come under her as her company’s board members.

    Then the cunt again puts both feet in her mouth at 17:22 by suggesting Holmes to take Melinda Gates as a board member. STFU!

  661. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – thanks. I am considering the S5 duo, since it would raise fewer suspicions with wife (one of my lines is on an S5 already)

    So, it’s good to hear the S4 handles it fine.

  662. Beach_Girl says:

    Josh~ lol

  663. Josh says:

    Hahahahahaha. That’s EXACTLY what the ADD generation needs now. 😉

  664. Josh says:


    “Both lines can be active at the same time. It tells me which line the call/text is from also has two send buttons when texting so you can choose which line the text is sent from.”

    Hahahahahaha. That’s EXACTLY the ADD generation needs now. 😉

  665. Lainey says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD Samsung S4 mini duos. LOVE IT! Both lines can be active at the same time. It tells me which line the call/text is from also has two send buttons when texting so you can choose which line the text is sent from.

  666. Beach_Girl says:

    Online~ another sim card for your phone? it’s like a prepaid, usually sold in cell phone stores, well here anyways, not sure where you are at.

  667. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello sugars,
    lots to catch up on, wow, this blog is long! I work all day, I can’t be here that much anymore… wow!!!

    How’s everyone?

  668. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – What duo Sim card phone did you end up with?

    I have been asking, but local stores do not carry. I’m looking online, thought I’d ask your opinion on what you have and how it has worked.


  669. Lainey says:

    @Alex I’m with @OnlineNewbieSD that section reads weird. I’d also remove the bustier pic. I know you’re going for secx but the face doesn’t work and it looks more like trashy cowgirl. Find a better full length pic. You’re really pretty, I just don’t like that particular picture.

    Also, keep in kind that if YOU think you’re “rambling” so will ever guy that actually takes the time to read it, so either leave the content as is but be confident in it and don’t mention rambling or trim the fat and being that YOU yourself realize you’re rambling I’m pretty certain you know what fat to trim

    Frickin swype keyboard!

  670. ATLSD says:

    “If ALL men get hit by a global ED epidemic, and there is a massive shortfall and rationing of Viagra-like medicine, how would women feed themselves? ”

    I’m stealing that bro

  671. Lainey says:

    @Alex I’m with @OnlineNewbieSD that section rewards weird. I’d also remove the bustier pic. I know you’re going for sect but the face doesn’t work and it looks more like trashy cowgirl. Find a better full length pic. You’re really pretty, I just don’t like that particular picture.

    Also, keep in kind that if YOU think you’re “rambling” so well ever guy that actually takes the time to read it, so either leave the content as is but be confident in it and don’t mention rambling or trim the fat and being that YOU yourself realize you’re rambling I’m pretty certain you know what fat to trim.

    I know I’m late

  672. ATLSD says:

    I don’t really want to get into the financials. But I will try to explain my situation which I think other SD are in. Flyr was on it. One can have a high net worth without being real liquid. I never expected to be in the “sugar bowl”. So I have tied up most of my money, that way my money will make money. Which should be everybody’s goal. Let your money work for you. So for me to get to large sums of money at one time is hard. Being Married I have to move it around scrupulously.
    @ONSD and I chatted about this before and thanks to his motivation, I’m making some changes to increase cash in pocket for sugar activities. There is another blog on here that talks about not draining your SD dry.
    Now there are some SB’s getting some serious dough, if they actually invested it instead of buying Jimmy Choo shoes. They would be Sugar Mommas!! Hope this helps y’all.

  673. SexyRockstar says:

    It’s late. I am going to make a youtube video

  674. Josh says:


    “If you learn to find happiness from within you will never need external stimuli for the same.” 😉 Josh Guru

  675. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – Not to add insult to injury, but it’s the Saints…

  676. SexyRockstar says:

    Thank you. It’s really depressing

  677. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – I’m sorry is all I can say about the Bears tonight :(

  678. Alex says:

    @Josh. You’re an interesting person. Reading your contributions to the blog has sent me on a roller coaster opinion-wise. But overall, I think you’re a pretty good guy…random, buzzed opinion l.

  679. @FlyR- Thanks for the clarification. haha I was trying to decipher the best I could. I was starting to worry the wine was really getting to me! It definitely comes down to real life responsibilities and obligations. :(

  680. SexyRockstar says:

    I need a hug. The Bears are sucking balls tonight

  681. SouthernSB says:

    Since last year and had two SDs who were in the 100,000 income range. They both saw me on a pay per visit basis.

  682. Midwestsugardaddy says:

    @Kenna and all. That profile was funny. I have not shared my own on here, since I have narrowed it down to two potential sugar babies. The whole search thing can be very time consuming.

    I like to browse the profiles and keep mine hidden. I know it still shows up, but it makes me feel stealthy!

  683. Josh says:


    Why don’t you talk about the salt example…1,000,000,001th time?

    That’s soooooo yummy. 😉

  684. Josh says:


    How long have you been on SA and how has it worked for you so far?

  685. flyR says:

    sorry for the above something caused it to send early

    Don’t have the patience to reconstruct but the message was that it is not gross income that counts but rather discretionary income or indiscrete income……………

    There are a lot of people making $500K who can not afford a $2k/mo SB and others making $200K for whom it is not a challenge.

  686. Josh says:

    Yet another Wisdom of Solomon “advice” from @flyR. What would SBs do without your wise advice? 😉

    Now I eagerly wait for FatB’StardSA’s comment on the above. Hahahahahaha!

  687. SouthernSB says:

    This list,
    1. Average = fat,
    2. Athletic = American football player built.
    3. Light smoker = Chain smoker of light cigarettes.
    4. No boyfriend = She has a fuck buddy (aka project) on the side who needs to be included in her allowance requirements.
    It sure would cut down on time as I have none of those things, not even the project, since I threw him out over a year ago. Damn!! I still miss him, 11 years younger and could fuck like a beast!! Too bad that was his only redeeming quality.

  688. flyR says:

    @Cupsfuldesugar – Sugarplums come from disposable income or disposable income + or – change in net savings.

    Two potential SD living next door to eachother in $3 mil homes, 500K incomes

    POT A bought last year Pot B bought 15 years
    Home – P&I, tax repair -150K -50K
    Wifey -120 -0.001
    Daughter in Grad School -60 married
    Daugher in Private School -40 n/a
    Other -100 -100
    Investment -50 -100
    Available for sugar

  689. Josh says:


    “@Josh you seem to have a problem with everything I do/say.”

    No dear. I have problem with your @WestCoastDaddy bit and now posting an unsuspecting member’s id.

    “You guys talk about SB profiles all the time that are easily searchable.”

    Yes we do and you can post specific text from any profile you want. If SA admins tell us otherwise, then we will stop posting that as well.

  690. No, I didn’t miss those days, I was just sitting back and reading then. haha The contract, right?

  691. Josh says:


    I guess you missed the dreadful @SunshineofYourUterus days on the blog.

  692. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh you seem to have a problem with everything I do/say.

    I’ve spoken to @Midwest off blog and he knows my true identity so just calm down and relax. It was joke about a ridiculous profile. You guys talk about SB profiles all the time that are easily searchable.

  693. ATLSD says:

    @Spoon “I meant “other stats” as in- If you adjust your income to reflect something lower, do you adjust your net worth and budget, as well”. Sorry I thought you were be a snide. My bad. No I don’t I have the same general budget in mind. I haven’t had any SB that can do math. So there was no “how can you afford that budget on that income”. And if I did get question I would say something like “don’t worry about it, if Im making good on the agreement what does it matter.”
    So far all my pots and SB had bad experiences before me. So those dumb asses made me look good.

    One POT told me she was taken to a real nice restaurant. And the Pot SD wouldn’t let her order a drink and could only order off the appetizer menu.


  694. @Kenna – Who comes on SA in their right mind for a “real relationship” and for marriage? I don’t understand some people, but I guess whatever floats your boat. haha

  695. Josh says:


    Would you please remove @Kenna and my posts above that contain unsuspecting member’s profile ID.


  696. Josh says:


    “@Midwest hi there… I thought the below profile was you lol


    SBs check out that profile… My mouth literally dropped open… HAHA”

    This is EXACTLY why real information must not be shared with women SDs meet here. Look what you have done here:

    1. Posted a member’s profile id without his permission.

    2. Put @Midwestsugardaddy in a position to have to distance himself from the profile if the profile id does not belong to him, or have to defend his profile it is belongs to him.

    3. Posting people’s IDs is not a joke and is against the blog’s policy.

  697. Seriously says:

    @ FatB’Stard – thank you, spot on

    @Josh – thank you, you may be harsh, but so what? I appreciate your no BS tone. I’ll try to hold onto my stupidity coins, lmfao.

  698. KennaKenna says:

    ((opens legs))
    shit. i’ll be set for life.


  699. KennaKenna says:

    @Spoonful who in their right mind comes on SA looking for a woman to get pregnant and mother their child?


  700. SexyRockstar says:

    ((opens legs))
    shit. i’ll be set for life.

  701. Didn’t see your comment @Sexy! haha Yeah…definitely not! Maybe he’ll visit and we’ll all get to have his babies! How exciting! :)

  702. @Kenna- I think that poor soul needs a map and a geography lesson. Sorry, @Midwest if it’s yours. :)

    @Midwest – Sounds reasonable.

    @ATL – Lol…I meant “other stats” as in- If you adjust your income to reflect something lower, do you adjust your net worth and budget, as well?
    And thank you! :) Old, old shirt I’m getting ready to toss!

  703. KennaKenna says:

    @Sexy no, you didn’t…


  704. KennaKenna says:

    @Sexy I’m still in shock at that profile… :-O

  705. SexyRockstar says:


    I messaged him, HAHAHAHAHA

    I told him exactly that. New York isn’t in the Midwest

  706. Eloquence says:

    @ Josh

    This video is for you. youtube: Wilkinson vevo “afterglow”

  707. SexyRockstar says:

    New York isn’t in the Midwest….

    And why the fuck would anyone have a child with someone that old?!?!?!

  708. ATLSD says:

    @spoony. First I be remiss if I did not compliment you on your nice dress selection for your avatar.
    The substantial with only $100,000/yr. I don’t get that either I didn’t realized that happened until I came to the blogs. I guess some SD figure the SB are not to smart. I figured most Sd/SB worked off the tables published by SA.

    Net worth is a lost art on both sides?

    “Do you adjust your other profile stats to reflect your adjustment in the income category?” Like what? My height?? I’m probably too honest. More then @josh would like.

  709. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – you’re welcome, sweetheart 😉

  710. KennaKenna says:

    @Midwest hi there… I thought the below profile was you lol


    SBs check out that profile… My mouth literally dropped open… HAHA

  711. SexyRockstar says:

    Thanks Online, LOL. DICK <3

  712. Josh says:


    WGAF totally rocks. Give it a try. 😉

    I am experimenting with an interesting twist on WGAF theme. I will let you know when the actionable data is in.

    “Actionable” is my favorite word nowadays. I have been reading about and watching Elizabeth Holmes’ interviews non-stop. 😉

  713. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – I said priceless…I’m sorry for the confusion 😉

  714. Midwestsugardaddy says:

    Josh has some good points. High or Substantial are amounts reserved for the very top tier of sugar babies in places like New York, LA, and other larger cities. You might get that amount in Beckley, West Virginia, but it would be really rare.

    My estimate would be 10 to 20 percent of net income for the average SD. If a SD makes $200k a year, the net could be 150K This would give a range of 15 to 30 k per year. $2,500 a month tax free is a ton of cash in most parts of the country. You would have to earn an additional 37k to 45k a year to clear $2,500 a month for a couple of meetings a month, plus the expenses of the dates.

    I realize that Lainey and Kenna have received amounts far in excess of these figures. I am giving a more realistic picture for the average 20-28 year old attractive girl in a regular city with a 200k a year sugar daddy. If you want more, you probably need to search longer, date an older, less attractive sugar daddy, move to a big city, or get lucky.

    If you are really attractive and offer a really personal experience like some people on the blog, you can get a lot more.

  715. SexyRockstar says:


    i’ll let go of ninja and online for my 20K a month allowance from you 😉

  716. SexyRockstar says:


    okay, ill let go of ninja for my 10K a month allowance from you 😉

  717. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – I didn’t say I’d follow with the communications like @Xero, just the profile. If he started getting better results with the wgaf attitude in the profile, maybe I could as well.

  718. Josh says:


    “@Sexy, I’ve already told you you’re priceless”

    This I understand…I second that. 😉

  719. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy, I’ve already told you you’re priceless 😉

  720. KennaKenna says:

    @Spoonful HAHAHA

  721. @Atl- I find it funny when men have 100K or less on their profile, but then have “substantial” as their budget…that’s kind of why I came up with the 10% rule. Same for when the fakes don’t know what “net worth” means and mess up. Like I said, I guess the proof’s in the pudding. Do you adjust your other profile stats to reflect your adjustment in the income category?

  722. Josh says:



    As much as I think I am beautiful and fabulous…I don’t think I can get away with having ‘substantial’

    please…someone…someone tell me different”

    Don’t throw @Eloquence trick at me. :( What are you trying to say?

  723. @Chrissy – He is…we better get while the gettin’s good! haha

  724. ATLSD says:

    I don’t use a percent or formula. I have a max Nbr in my big head. And hopefully my little head won’t ruin it. I was luck with Nbr 1 she was a whatever person. Just be reasonable she told me I was the best paying SD she had. I was actually a paying a little less then I was expecting but was going to raise it for her.
    Also my nbrs are low on my profile to keep the gold diggers and rinsers away.

    Also for Josh I park in some obscure area and I drive my pick up. I figure the SB will be looking for BMW or Benz or Jaguars. And I also get there early for first meet (except one time).

  725. Josh says:

    Rhetorical question:

    If ALL men get hit by a global ED epidemic, and there is a massive shortfall and rationing of Viagra-like medicine, how would women feed themselves? 😉

  726. SexyRockstar says:


    As much as I think I am beautiful and fabulous…I don’t think I can get away with having ‘substantial’

    please…someone…someone tell me different

    #Chicago #TheStruggleIsReal


  727. @Kenna- and when I find out they’ve lied, I just kind of smile and do the doe-eyed head tilt. “Mmmhmmm…” Had this happen with a pot last night, actually.

  728. Chrissy says:

    Josh is being so sweet and empathetic tonight to the SBs. I just want to give him a hug.

  729. LadyScarlett says:

    OnlineNewbieSD says:
    December 15, 2014 at 4:59 pm
    “@Xero – maybe that’s what I need to do. The wgaf attitude. Probably signals “drama” to the p2p crowd, but signals experience and authenticity to the quality SB crowd?!”

    hmm, well, depends on your definition of quality, but my quality crowd would most likely shy away from a guy who uses player type lingo, and is too lazy to finish reading a whole paragraph and too ‘busy'(i.e. allowance entitled) to lift a finger to drive a little bit and meet an SB. It is the attitude that is not attractive, not the effort made…I occasionally get messages from this type and i avoid them like the plague. They most likely will be selfish lovers, and think the allowance entitles them to behave and treat you poorly. that, is just my take, though. To each their own, and some girls get off on being treated that way. they usually are very young, though, or a sub(but, in that case it is more of a game and not done with selfish intentions).

  730. Josh says:


    “At least your insults or insinuation of them are not gender based.”

    Congratulate yourself that you wrote two comments in a row that I (kinda) understood…

    Based on what I understood, I feel your pain dear. 😉

  731. Josh says:


    I feel your pain dear. 😉

  732. Josh says:


    “Personally, I will not even get close to being intimate with a SD if I don’t know his true identity and have verified it.”

    Suit yourself. 😉

  733. Eloquence says:

    @ Josh

    At least your insults or insinuation of them are not gender based. Trust is earned or given in life. Only the two people involved in the arrangement have the where with all to gauge the trust their giving or lack there of.

  734. @Josh- ‘ “I live in a smaller city in the mid-west.”

    Practical is the highest you should go in the mid-west, unless of course you are in Chicago.’

    There go my dreams and aspirations. What will I do with myself now?

    Maybe the big, bad SDs can be my next projects?! I am a woman, after all…:)

  735. Josh says:

    *I see a lots of typos in what I wrote above. Fuck it. 😉

    If any of my spelling or grammar mistakes are bothering you then point them out and feel better. LOL!

  736. KennaKenna says:

    Personally, I will not even get close to being intimate with a SD if I don’t know his true identity and have verified it.

  737. Josh says:


    @Josh Guru wrote a lot. A few SBs almost fainted. Ask more pointed questions and he shall respond. 😉

  738. Josh says:


    “@Josh- Are you trying to tell me the tiara and sash that I wear every day aren’t justified? But I’m the princess, dammit! I expect to be spoiled like one!”

    Those who called you “special” and “princess” left you on the mercy of big bad SDs to decide how special and how princess-y you are to be spoiled at what level. :(

    “And the Midwest comment hit straight to my heart…:’(”

    Which one? 😉

  739. Josh says:


    “It is really interesting to hear you say to “hide” all known form of information from a SB. Are these the quality SB’s you should hide information from? Or are these the quantity SB’s?”

    First of all, congratulations on writing something I (kinda) understood. 😉 So based on what I understood…

    Those are general guidelines. Men carry stupidity in their pockets like loose change. I am sure that @Seriously will use his share of stupidity coins to screw himself over because the woman he was communicating with was “different.”

  740. Josh says:


    “Why @Josh, I think I will use your list for my new profile. It should be a hoot.”

    Which list?

  741. Eloquence says:

    @ Josh

    It is really interesting to hear you say to “hide” all known form of information from a SB. Are these the quality SB’s you should hide information from? Or are these the quantity SB’s?

  742. @Josh- Are you trying to tell me the tiara and sash that I wear every day aren’t justified? But I’m the princess, dammit! I expect to be spoiled like one!

    And the Midwest comment hit straight to my heart…:'(

  743. Alex says:

    Just had a great convo with a pot.Spoke for an hour on the phone (I’m usually a texter so for me this shows great compatibility). He is a state over in Scottsdale, but is willing to fly out to meet. Hopefully that implies he is serious. We have great chemistry, fingers crossed.

  744. Josh says:

    *They must NOT know…

    I am not sure why married SDs list themselves as such. If I were married I would not be advertising that. Classical blackmail sitting duck, if you ask me…

  745. @online and @xero- Thanks! :) I figured as much.

  746. SouthernSB says:

    Why @Josh, I think I will use your list for my new profile. It should be a hoot.

  747. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy I said if you didn’t show. I’ll buy one for each of you anyways. The percent of POTS canceling has been high lately. We SD need a backup. I’m ordering pleather seats also. Going all out

  748. Josh says:


    “@Josh – Of course I’m special. That’s what my momma always told me.”

    And who called you the “princess” in the house, the other parent? 😉

  749. Josh says:


    ‘The SBs seem to refer to “fairy tale” legends in regards to allowances and gifts, and in a sense try to make it out as the norm.’

    THAT my friend is the laser-focused, single point agenda of certain SBs here.

    “I live in a smaller city in the mid-west.”

    Practical is the highest you should go in the mid-west, unless of course you are in Chicago.

    “I put “negotiable” in my allowance section, mostly because I can be flexible on this.”

    Change it. You don’t want to negotiate with Substantial or High in this market unless of course, she is a super model enrolled in the Phd program in neurosciences.

    “As an SD I am willing to pay more, if an SB brings more value in regards to attractiveness, time spent, or experience”

    You can and should always pay more if they are really into you and make you feel special and do special things for you that only a woman in their capacity can do for your.

    “but why pay any more than an SB is really asking for, or has time to commit to?”


    “They always seem to want me to make an offer without really knowing what I’m paying for or getting myself into.”

    This is universal female strategy in any kind of involvement with men. Nothing special with the sugar space.

    “They also seem to be pretty liberal with the truth about themselves.”

    1. Average = fat,
    2. Athletic = American football player built.
    3. Light smoker = Chain smoker of light cigarettes.
    4. No boyfriend = She has a fuck buddy (aka project) on the side who needs to be included in her allowance requirements.

    “So far it seems like there are a lot of SBs that are here for reasons other than a traditional arrangement.”

    Most of them keep a keen eye on Backpage rates. The minimum they will ask for is 2 times the Backpage hourly rate for the market. If they say that they will meet you for couple of hours…they are planning to meet you for a maximum of one hour with the rest wasted in “getting lost.”

    “I’ve noticed that some of them are working together in teams, which seems kind of shady.”

    Yes, that is true in some cases.

    “I want to keep things discreet, but it appears like SBs want to qualify me to see if I’m husband / blackmail material.”

    DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT share any traceable information with any of them until you get to know them better over time. They must know know where you live, where you work, if you are married or single, your real telephone number, etc. If possible, rent a car for the first few meetings so that they don’t know your license plate number.

    Bottom-line, as Fatbastard said, you look after your happiness are your rear-end first. In time, if they prove to be the real deal then you can relax a bit.

  750. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Xero – maybe that’s what I need to do. The wgaf attitude. Probably signals “drama” to the p2p crowd, but signals experience and authenticity to the quality SB crowd?!

  751. Chrissy says:

    Here I am packing my apartment up and you are already giving my car away!

  752. Xero says:

    @spoonfulofsugar I never use a percentage. I have a min and max I’ll go. The min never changes but the max adjusts depending on the girl. Her haggling abilities also play a large part in it. I think your 10% is too low especially for this site where salaries tend to run on the lower side of low. Create a min acceptable allowance and go from there.

  753. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @spoonful – men will part with significant amounts of money when the “relationship” works for them. I don’t think there is a “rule of thumb” for sugar.

  754. Xero says:

    Update on POT: She’s more than willing to make the drive. Very nervous though not about the drive but about an arrangement. Apparently she’s new to this but was trying to hide it. Seems like I may have found my girl but will have to wait and see.

    Also have 4 (6 really but may dismiss 2) other POTs to fall back on if this one falls through.I changed the wording and gave my profile more of an angry wgaf undertone sometime last week and ever since then I’ve been getting a lot of hits by a lot of higher quality girls. Ironic I know. All for good though and nothing to complain about.

  755. @ATL- That’s why I asked several posts ago what is realistic! What percentage, on average, do you dedicate to sugar? Or is it just as you see fit?

  756. @Online- Sorry…what I meant was – I subtract 30% from what they put as “income” to assume net. Warning: wine & making sense on blog don’t mix. haha

  757. @Online- Yes, definitely a lot of assumptions. I also subtract 30% – another assumption. I don’t know, really. The proof’s in the pudding, I guess. I was trying to find a different filtering tool to use and was curious on what percentage smart SDs use on their sugaring.

  758. SexyRockstar says:


    Guns n Roses <3 <3

  759. ATLSD says:

    @spoonful. Those numbers probably are not realistic.

  760. @Josh – Of course I’m special. That’s what my momma always told me. :)

  761. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @spoonful – that assumes the SD uses net in that number, isn’t listing his income dedicated to sugar or something else to try to sift through the profiles or look more or less desirable to specific SB audiences

  762. ATLSD says:

    @struggles. Damn If Chrissy doesn’t come get her Hydundai they are all yours babe. I’ll throw in GNR appetite for destruction CD.

  763. Josh says:


    “Personally, I usually base an SDs budget off of about 10% of his monthly net salary (according to his profile).”

    Aren’t you special. 😉

  764. @FatB’stard – I asked about the formula a few posts back and no one answered. Where is this chart you speak of?

    Personally, I usually base an SDs budget off of about 10% of his monthly net salary (according to his profile).

  765. StruggleIsReal says:

    YES I KNOW!!! I literally have that like “wah wah wah wahhhhhh splat” jingle in my head when it happens!!! LMAO!!

    Staaaahp! You’re turning me on!! hahahaha

  766. FatB'StardSA says:


    I have no rules nor any magic formula. For what it is worth here is my take:

    “I figured from an allowance standpoint, the minimum would be what ever rent costs for a decent apartment where we are from, so if we are in New York, of course an allowance would be higher, it has to be.”

    The problem with your apartment strategy is that every SB will tell you that an apartment in NYC costs $5K/month (everyone who lives in NYC makes $250K/year in case you did not know). Think about your SB’s current income. As an example, an extra $2K/month (tax free) would be a lot of money for MOST people. Before the chorus of $30K/year millionaire SB’s chime in, there is a calculation of SD income and corresponding allowance levels that is posted. Use the chart in reverse to see if what I say makes sense. You will have to correct for the difference in looks between you and you SB. You can learn how to do this correction on your own.

    “So is an allowance basically putting a prostitute on salary? I doubt the SBs look at it that way, but should I as an SD?”

    Depends on how you and your SB feel about each other doesn’t it. If you don’t know how to tell the difference I cannot help you. Many SD’s/SB’s have no problem with this approach though.

    “…what is the scope of the arrangement in regards to “dates” or time spent together?

    You need to figure this out with each SB.

    Remember the premise of the site is based on an allowance. That is why these women are here. Don’t get fooled into thinking it is something different. As a SD focus on your own happiness, the SB’s will take care of themselves.

  767. KennaKenna says:


    I love when a SD has me hooked and I’m literally always checking my phone for the next text or response to an email.

    I even like when he doesn’t respond right away because he is busy, the anticipation of waiting gets me soooo excited (there is just something about being available to my SD whenever he wants).

  768. @Struggle– I agree completely. Maybe it’s just my submissive side, but it drives me up a wall when pots can’t talk about an arrangement. I don’t care how hot and bothered he gets me before that- absolute turn off when he can’t own it.

  769. KennaKenna says:


    “but there’s something soooo hot about a guy that respectfully “owns” you,”


  770. StruggleIsReal says:

    Oh good advice! Thanks girl! I will try it. I feel like I could be a dentist now from “pulling teeth” with these little boys who are scared of an arrangement , yet want one, yet don’t want to admit they want one. Even if they would follow through with it if we called it a “banana stand” instead, I just lose respect for a man that can’t own his shit. Maybe I’m fucked up in the head for it or something, but there’s something soooo hot about a guy that respectfully “owns” you, and knows how to wield that power while always keeping your best interests at heart. There’s a sense of release and relinquish that gets me all antsy in my loins about it. haha

  771. ATLSD says:

    @alex. I only had one SB and pot SB that didn’t talk a lot. Struggles profile was wordy also and paired it down and she’s getting hits.
    You are interesting area. Are including SAC. SFO. San Jose in your area willing to travel. In SAC you the political crowd San Jose area you have tech nerds. And you have greater SFO OAK ARea. You got some good potential. Just stay out of Rio Linda.

  772. Seriously says:

    @ OnlineNewbieSD, reading between the lines, yes, that is what I was looking for. Thank you.

    @ SexyRockstar, I got a pretty good idea why I’m attracting the crazies, I just need to screen them better.

  773. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL – yes, if married, probably frustrated with AM. A site I had been on before SA, with ZERO responses…and have called a few SA profiles out after messaging me here and not there 😉

  774. SexyRockstar says:

    ^^is that english my love? lol, jk

  775. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – that’s exactly what I mean, you “need” sugar for something, but not sustenance. Most I encounter in here “need” it for lights or heat or food 😉

    That’s why you’re an exception!

  776. ATLSD says:

    @chrissy. Dud u give mom that look that Chrissy has in the avatar?

  777. Alex says:

    @Chrissy HAAAAHAHA! I could see my mom doing that. Yeah most my friends know I have a thing for Gordon Ramsay and Richard Geere.

    @ATL I get where you’re coming from, that’s why I took your advice and changed it. And I don’t do complicated either, why I want an arrangement and not relationship lol. But. Sometimes I talk a lot…that was my point lol.

    @Sexy I feel it. I’ve been offered more a month than I was making working food service full time smh. Hungry people suck! Lol.

  778. ATLSD says:

    @ONSD. Been seeing more Married SB.
    That’s a little more complicated. I think they are coming over here from AM. Your thoughts?

  779. Chrissy says:

    I am genuinely attracted to older men. My mother even realized this and started asking me what was the age limit of men I would date because she wanted to set me up with her friends. It was very awkward :(

  780. SexyRockstar says:

    I “need” 2-3K a month to cover my travel expenses for my comedy travels and then keep up a sexy wardrobe so I can always look my best for you. Plus, I like getting my nails done.

    But, sugar does give me a huge load off my shoulders. I’d hate to go crawling back to working in the restaurant industry again.

  781. KennaKenna says:

    @Alex I joined for the same reason but unfortunately most SBs on the site are just here looking for money and that’s it.

  782. ATLSD says:

    @alex. Lots of SB are wordy. It’s in your nature. You need to hit the highlights of your personality. Then say something like “you can find the rest when we met for coffee”. It shouldn’t be one or two liners. But not a novel either. Most SD will start glazing over and take you for a Fluffy coffee drinker (aka complicated). We don’t do complicated. My 3 cents.

  783. KennaKenna says:

    @Struggle I saw you were talking about pot SDs who you had chemistry with but turned out to be a poser.

    When I was looking and I started talking to a pot online, I’d say something like this “I’m kinda new to this whole “arrangement dating” thing, what does an arrangement mean to you?”

    From their responses, I’d weed out the ones who weren’t serious. After we went out and had a great first date, I’d let him take the lead in terms of suggesting an allowance or how the arrangement work.

    I go for the dominant type that likes to think everything is their idea and they’re not pressured so I always let them make the suggestion.

  784. ATLSD says:

    Damnit Chrissy I’m at work again. Now I can’t get up for awhile. :)

  785. Alex says:

    @ATL, but I am wordy lol. I consolidated a couple paragraphs.

    @Dazed, thanks hun =)

    I’m genuinely attracted to older men and that’s one of the reasons why I got into this. I thought most SBs would have that same attraction and thus want more than a fling. Guess I was wrong.

  786. ATLSD says:

    @sexy. My apologies I thought I saw one of your post somewhere reference that.
    I’m seem to be getting things wrong today

  787. StruggleIsReal says:

    Girl I know you wouldn’t. Actually no I totally thought that was your steez. LoL Jk But even that does differentiate the difference between the kind of stuff @Seriously is posting about and what @WE are talking about. Given different circumstances and relationship, a quick hotel fuck can be two ENTIRELY different things, and should be treated and rewarded as such.

  788. SexyRockstar says:


    post your profile ID. Maybe we can look at your profile to see why you’re attracting these crazy SBs

  789. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Struggle – I hope you didn’t think I was implying the quickie was a first meet…by NO means would that be the case! The quickies I’ve had with SBs in the past were after the relationship was established…something like, “I need to celebrate, do you have some time to help?” “I’ve got a little bit of time, what did you have in mind?” “Well…”

    For SURE need the titillating verbal foreplay before and after the encounter 😉

    Now…for @Seriously…since @Josh has said I’m doing a good job (although he hasn’t told me if I should take it as a compliment yet?) here’s where I’m at as far as allowance:

    If you are looking for a traditional SD/SB relationship, where you’re not counting the minutes together or the number of visits and letting things organically happen between the two of you…where both of you are hot for each other and seek times to be together…where you communicate between meetings…

    My conversation starts with the needs vs wants (which only works if the SB “needs” an allowance – @Kenna, @Lainey, @Sexy have all claimed they do not NEED the allowance, so it wouldn’t work…but I haven’t had many conversations where the pot didn’t NEED something to survive) Does she need a couple hundred a month to have some spending money, does she need a couple thousand a month to live in the condo by herself, does she need $10k a month so she can live in the penthouse and drive the Benz? If she falls into what I have found as typical, needing a couple hundred a month to cover the variable expenses like utilities and groceries we have a base that she should NEVER have to accept below…if she WANTS a couple thousand so she can support her shopping/drug/gamer-boyfriend, that gives us the upper end of the spectrum…

    I ALWAYS start with the proposition that the allowance is a weekly agreement at the beginning…I want to see her at LEAST once a week to start things off…if she flakes, I’m out a little bit, but still ready to fund another pot…if she proves herself during the first couple of weeks, I’m ready to move toward the monthly allowance…

    I’m ALWAYS going to meet the pot near HER for the first meet…keeps her comfortable and allows her to open up a bit during the meet (sometimes this works to her detriment when I identify undesirable traits like the “light smoker” that has to have two cigarettes during a lunch meet)…NEVER sex at the first meet (that establishes more of a p2p scenario that I’m not looking for)…

    Once she’s on the monthly “payroll” it’s really hers to lose…I’ve had three relationships that lasted at least 2.5 years in the last 10 years or so…it’s when I started at SA that things have changed a bit and become more transactional…and depressing in the searches.

    Is that what you’re looking for?

  790. Chrissy says:

    “Putting a prostitute on salary” He’s a keeper 😉

    My panties are moist. I wish I was at work and in my office, that is where I do my best work.