5 years ago
“Brown Sugar” Baby Guide


All of the best Sugar relationships take time, coupled with a firm understanding of what to expect from each other, be it emotional, financial, or any other element of a “traditional” relationship.

This means that a Sugar Baby’s ethnicity is going to be a factor in any arrangement, no matter what the racial background of the Sugar Daddy. However, a Baby of Black, Hispanic, Asian, or other ancestry can be a plus, not a minus, for many generous men.

We at SeekingArrangement receive countless questions and concerns from our “Brown Sugar” Babies. As a woman of color myself, I remind readers that any arrangement is meant to be discreet and offer both parties the maximum benefit, regardless of a Sugar Baby’s ethnic background. For more on this topic, check out the “Let’s Talk Sugar” YouTube page here.

How You Look: Fabulous, or Ghetto Fabulous?


This would be the time to check that weave, ladies. See my post on Buzzfeed about the biggest conversation faux pas: Asking, “Is that your real hair?”

Sometimes, hairwise, less really is more. If this question comes up, assume that your coiffure looks unpolished to potential SDs and it may be time to find a new hairstylist.

Try going for coifs that highlight your natural features. Those with high cheekbones may wear a pixie cut well. Someone with a longer neck may pull off the neat top-knot bun. Rapunzel locks are not the norm in the real world, and thats okay. Your Daddy will thank you for it.

Beyond hair, keep your makeup natural-looking. Leave the dramatic antics to the celebs—in other words, let them look like surprised clowns. When you start to give more of an Edvard Munch “The Scream” effect, rather than a natural beauty, its time to put the brush down.

Obviously, if a Sugar Daddy has selected y-o-u out of the hundreds and thousands of women available on the SeekingArrangement site, you’ve gotten one foot through the door. Keep in mind that a man of wealth is likely mature, well-established in a career, and although you may not be in his bracket of income, wants to establish a sense of quality with you.

Take this seriously, ladies.

How You Talk: Babydaddy, or “I want to be your Baby, Daddy”?


At all costs avoid discussion of your ex-partners, baby daddies, outlandish sexcapades, or frequent references that mark for non-neutral conversation. As a Sugar Baby, your job is to be his treat at the end of a tough workday. A confidante outside of his possibly dysfunctional “normal” relationship. Or even the woman of his dreams who was unattainable before wealth became a reality..

Try to remain mindful of your arrangement. If your Sugar Daddy does not want to hear about your personal life, don’t talk about it. Call your bestie, call your mom, see a shrink.

If you want to maintain your “benefits” then you’ve got to get with the program. Unless your guy is genuinely interested in these topics, they shouldn’t become frequent dinner chatter in any relationship. This rule applies to Sugar Babies of any background.

When together with your Sugar Daddy, you are on his time and the best thing you can do is strive to be the mature, fun, drama-free partner he invited into his world. This means leaving any negative attitude at home, respecting his time/schedule, and maintaining maturity with all affairs involving your Sugar Daddy.

For example, if he asks you not to post photos for friends, that means nothing should see the light of day on Facebook, Twitter, or any other corner of the social media universe. That’s not being secretive—it’s demonstrating self-control.

How You Walk: Strut Your Stuff


You may think I’m talking about a woman’s actual gait, but this section is working at the next level. There are going to be Sugar Babies who prefer only to be passively wined and dined, and that’s okay. But occasionally, Sugar Daddies are ready to have intellectual conversations, even hoping for them. This is your moment to truly shine.

Don’t be afraid to show him that you are an educated woman. If you are pursuing an education, share that and ask him about his own experiences. If you are working on your own up-and-coming career, a Sugar Daddy could be the perfect mentor or professional contact for establishing a foothold in your chosen professional path.

Show him that your time with him is an investment both of you are making and for you, it’s not an evening of checking clocks until the date is done. You want to be  than just a beautiful face—this tactic has potential to pay great dividends in the end!

Moving Forward: Leave Those Stereotypes Behind


Master these tips and you’ll  shine as a knowledgeable and sophisticated Sugar Baby. There are tons of negative stigmas about women of color. There is no one answer that will quell  every person’s apprehensiveness (or racism, for that matter), but these steps can be taken to make you an even sweeter “Brown Sugar” Baby. Get out there and show him you’re the Caramel Delight he needs in his life. You do that by keeping it classy, Babies.


What points would you add to our “Brown Sugar” Guide?

Leave a Reply

1,644 Responses to ““Brown Sugar” Baby Guide”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Why doesnt you address the fact that men and women of color as SB are the least likely to get responses. Most of the time we don’t get chances to talk to real users. There are several profiles that have racist statements or just say “insert race” only. Or other CV comments such as “No blacks”. How could you allow this on you’re site? At the very least you should show more effort into acknowledging that can racism plays an active part in everything. Even when finding a SD.

  2. Star_Vixen says:

    Why is it so hard for a woman of color to find a sugar Daddy? Its like once they see you are from a urban background you get turned away quick, they don’t even give you a chance

  3. Thanks for finally writing about > "Brown Sugar" Baby Guide < Loved it!

  4. Monlily says:

    I don’t understand this website. Its just another notch to let black women know that we are not valued or wanted.

  5. Wtf says:

    Wow this arrival was so demeaning and racist. Who wrote this?

  6. Anonymous says:

    My advice to women of color: Don’t pick a screen name that makes a thing of race. Leave out words like “brown sugar”, “melanin”, “chocolate”, “caramel”. I am neutral to race, but its a turn off for me when a girl makes a big deal of it.

    • Anomym says:

      Well, I agree with you.
      Furthermore it is a free world and of course a SD should prefer a girl what he prefers.
      I had relationships before with different kind of racial backgrounds and decided by my own what kind of woman I like and it is not only look.

      I can understand that some SD do not want a girl from a special racial background. As a SD I have to take my SB to some events and this could be lead to conflicts because of some racial prejudices of the event partners.

  7. Anonymous says:

    This sounds like the kind of stupid advice my grandmother gave my mother on how to relate to men. How about, “just be yourself and see if he still likes you.”

  8. Underdog says:

    I don’t believe a black woman wrote this article. In general, black women are the least requested sugar babies. There are also profiles I have seen specifically stating that they do not want a black girl. I’ve been on SA for a year now and for a year I have constantly updated my profile with new and clear pics that are professional like. I’ve had other SB review my profile and everything. I’ve been unsuccessful though in getting a SD and most of the messages I have sent have either been only read with no reply or completely ignored. Race is most definitely the number one factor that is considered. I don’t mean to be negative but based on my experience and the experience of black girls I know, blogs I read, and videos I watch, it’s true. I’ve been very open with the location s I select, pretty much all of Cali, and it’s the same response everywhere. Half of these guys on here have low qualitity photos so I have to wonder if they really are SD’s.

  9. Anissa says:

    This article is garbage. It’s essentially feeding INTO the stereotypes about how people perceive black women and how to “clean it up”.

    Not all black women even wear weave. In my
    natural state, people ask if my hair is real ALL the time. It’s a common micro aggression we face. I’ve never had a sugar daddy, and this peice wasn’t helpful at all. How to navigate through fetishes, discrimination, and hypersexualization would’ve been productive.
    The writer may be “a woman of color” but she
    definitely wasn’t black, and definitely had TOO MANY ignorant anti-black sentiments.

    • Tracey says:

      I couldn’t agree with you more! Clearly a black woman did not write the article. It’s filled with WAY TOO MANY stereotypes non of which are true to the general masses. Unattractive and/slutty white women get responses over professional and/or beautiful black women do. Article wasn’t helpful at all. An updated one needs to be written. I suggest a site geared toward SDs and woman if color. Like a sister site.

  10. ambitious says:

    I get plenty of messages but the common thing I read is they have never been with a black girl and treat me like an experiment and talk about wanting to taste my chocolate. I am a very professional woman and don’t like being refereed to as a sex trophy and talked to like I should feel even slightly flattered but such language makes me uncomfortable and gives me a sense that all men on the site are sex orientated and womanizers

  11. Tati says:

    This article is bullshit. I wear my natural hair & state in my bio that I’m all natural. If a SD don’t like than to hell w/ him. Only a real man will appreciate me for me. No black woman wrote this article.

    • Madison says:

      You are absolutely right. The load of crap I read from this article has only made me angry, not encouraged me. It ‘s funny how they only want to single out black people as having baby daddies and are ghetto fabulous. Like really? Most black people do not have that mentality yet are still subject to such stereotypes, it’s heinous. And I’m pretty sure, most of the black people on this site are not here to play around. Unfortunately, we just aren’t taken seriously due to articles like these. It’ll only make a man think “why do I even have to bother?”

  12. chocolaty says:

    I’m a 19 years old college student.I barely get any messages, guys would view my profile and do nothing. When I message them they don’t even respond back. In real life I get hit on by a lot of older white guys. I’ve tried dating sites before and 95 percent of the guys that contacted me were white men. Then I got on this site and suddenly everyone think they’re too good for black women. I think it’s the money mentality. As a sugar baby you need them ect…. Before I put up pictures, this men message me his number and email. I texted him, he asked for my pic and I sent one. His response was he don’t think we are a match. I have no faith in this site. I’ll leave it up for a little bit then get rid of it. My chances are better meeting a potential sugar daddy in real life.

  13. Shemarches says:

    AND STILL,SA have not taken this article off of here! Something to think about.

  14. Derek_58 says:

    Wow, what was the point of this article? The only pieces of it geared towards ‘brown sugar’ are full of sterotypes and offensive. The rest is advice that women of any ethnicity should take to heart. I’m a white SD and have met all kinds of ethnicities off SA. It’s actually one of the things that keeps me going on the site, although the scammers are working tirelessly to change that. My advice to anyone on SA is to keep an open mind and explore the wonderful ethnic diversity therein. You’re bound to meet some of the most interesting people – people that you most likely would have otherwise never met.

    • Couldn’t agree more! I search for this blog thinking I would get some assistance, but only met with senseless verbiage such as ” don’t be ghetto, or say baby daddy” seriously if this is the kind of advice that you offer ethnic Sb’s then clearly I’m on the wrong site! For you to automatically think and give such sad advice only infers that you think of ethnic sb’s as less than others! Wow I can’t believe I just read this!

  15. Anonymous says:

    This article is a load of **** men generally think that a woman’s hair is her hair and would never ask otherwise. Not all black people are from the getto or behave getto. But I do believe that it would take a very special man to see through the facade of the media who only purpose is to serve no justice to black people.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Dumbest guide ever.
    A woman of color would never have wrote such degrading thing about her people. In this article only stereotypes and negative qualities of the woman from the black community were underlined and they are not even true and these you have described are bad manners, bad hair, no or lacking fashion/make-up skills.
    I am so sadened that we could even value ourselves.
    Girls please don’t believe this pieces of false premises, there is a reason why white women are striving for our bodies (Booties, lips, darker skin and so on)
    We’re the most beautiful people in this world and no we’re not less intelligent! We’re highly educated

  17. Anonymous says:

    As a white SD, I just wanted to chime in and say emphatically that I personally love women of all races and colors and that absolutely includes black women. And anybody that can say that an entire race of women are not beautiful are complete idiots. Please don’t let trolls give you the wrong impressions. They are almost always the impossibly vocal minority. The only thing I would say is that I wish more black women would go with their natural hair. Personally I don’t like extensions. I need to watch that Chris Rock movie. Lol.

  18. Anonymous says:

    This article did not help me. I am convinced that men do not like Brown Sugar unless its a play n pay, fetish type arrangement.

    • Anonomomomom says:

      Pretty much. It’s arbitrary. But it’s a Euro centric obsessed world…

    • Anonymous says:

      I admit I was hesitant at first because I didn’t think men would be interested, but I got lots of interest from SDs after making my profile. It could be the area that you live in.

    • Anonymous says:

      I feel the same way. I read all of these profiles that say their looking for a sugar baby, to do and that for her, and she needs to be smart, quiet, romantic and he wants to buy her what ever no matter the price, then by the time you get excited and leave a message then they say, I don’t do black women, no offense, I’m not racist, its just not my thing….then, the few black men on here don’t want us either…..

  19. Victoria says:

    This article is feeding into negative stereotypes of black women. Black women are diverse and can not be put into a category. The black women that is viewed on television is not the black women in real life. The writer of this article should travel more. As for the racist and sexist people commenting on this post, why are you so concern with what black women do? Why are you wasting your time trying to convince black women that there beauty is not beautiful? Black women do not waste your time on these sites.If you want to find a SD, you would do better meeting one face to face or on a regular dating site.

  20. Richie says:

    This post makes me sick.. so offensive! It’s laughable you end it with “leave the stereotypes behind” when the whole post was based on awful stereotypes. Babydaddies? Ghetto fabulous? Are you for real? Beliefs like this are the reason african-american sugar babies have a hard time, maybe they’ll get so tired of dealing with this BS that they’ll ignore the idiots that think and talk like that and stick to SDs like me that are decent human beings.

    So unprofessional…and disgusting, perpetuating these stereotypes… you should be ashamed (and fired!!!!)

  21. DT says:

    This article is so offensive to black women. There are tips here that apply to women of all color, like talking about personal problems, etc. It is as if black women as a whole are being seen as the “retarded” bunch and an article has to be written to tell their ghetto asses how to act. Terrible.

    • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

      Oh my gosh….I thought it was just me that thought this was offensive…..but it’s an opinion piece so I’m not going to give my whole opinion.

  22. LibPeaches says:

    I am a SB and has spent so much money on this site looking for a good sugar daddy for 4 years now and still nothing. Please tell me what my profile lacks.

  23. LibPeaches says:

    I have been on S.A. for 4 years and still no SD. No offers neither. All the SD immediately tell me that they want only White women. They tell me I’m not their type. Help me please.

  24. Disgusted says:

    I am disgusted and offended by your mis-characterization of African American women. I think I will make sure that Black Twitter hears about this…oh wait, fuck that! The publicity will only help. I hope “Anonymous” cracks your files and shuts you down! I was about to spend my money for a paid membership…but Fuck that!

    • WSB says:

      This is the most racist site I’ve ever used, and I’m not even a targeted victim. Some of us ladies have rejected many white men. I think they’re mad that even if they pay us, we don’t want anything to do with them. I feel they are taking their anger out on the African American women when the opportunity arises. It’s sickening to witness, and I’m sorry they have to be exposed to this sort of behavior.

  25. Berrynoir says:

    Can someone look at my profile and let me know what is missing? Tired of splenda…. lol

  26. proffesionalwhitemale says:

    This Article displays ignorance and stereotypical views of how a black woman acts(SEXCAPADES,BABY DADDIES,NEGATIVE ATTITUDES,BEING GHETTO FABULOUS).Not all black women act this way. This was terrible advice,Very Tacky @seekingarrangement.

    • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

      Some of this information is useful but is is presumptuous that all black women share the same traits or that some white men don’t actually prefer the women being addressed here. I have seen it all and it’s best to just be genuine. It’s hard to keep up a facade no matter what and while some men may not like Rapunzel locks…other men adore them. I’m nature myself…..and wear what I like to call luxury weaves on occasion. It’s not that I don’t like them myself but they don’t line up with my current lifestyle choices. My advice is to be yourself and respect the boundaries on the relationship. It is that simple.

  27. HunniDarling says:

    Great post!

  28. Simple minded says:

    Can you (yes you! anyone reading my comment) take a look at my profile and give me your honest feedback please?

    • Jaybird923 says:

      adjective: simple-minded
      having or showing very little intelligence or judgment.

  29. alarma colesterol alto says:


  30. Thank you for any other great post. The place else may anybody get that kind of info in such a perfect method of writing?
    I have a presentation next week, and I’m on the look for such information.

  31. Anonymous says:

    Can someone take a look at mine and give me some constructive criticism and pointers please

  32. Sugar Baby says:

    Hi I’m a newbie brown sugar
    so I’m just gonna follow suit and ask please check out my profile. thanks

  33. JAMES UMARU says:

    Greetings to the general public, i want to inform you about what i can do to assist you in getting a real good sugar mummy in Nigeria.

    Note: If you really want a sugar mummy and you also believe that you can handle it very well kindly call me on 08169207857.There are so many Nigeria women who are desperate in getting a guy that we satisfy them.

    contact me today on my mobile phone number via 08169207857 for more information s thanks..
    Mr. James Umaru.

  34. lasida says:

    Hello, I had rejoined SA a couple of days ago and am wondering if anyone would like to check out my profile for constructive criticism? It would be greatly appreciated.

  35. umarmuhd says:

    good site,keep it up

  36. Danni says:

    I feel that if you are not accepted as who you are then you should not push a SD/SB relationship. African American women already have it hard enough in the world and when profiles say “please no Black women” it makes you wonder why you aren’t wanted, but hey everyone has their preference but Black women as a whole are gems to have.

    • Frank95 says:

      It’s probably better you see that written. It’s the sign of a small and nasty mind, masquerading as “honesty”.

      Feel sorry for the Caucasian woman entering an abusive relationship with this type.

  37. Frank95 says:

    When I read the blog, I thought that apart from the first and last paragraphs, this could have been targeted at any female demographic:

    Do your hair, don’t talk about ex partners, be mature, if you are educated, show it, don’t check clocks. How’s that related to colour?

    NOW, Something else I have to get off my chest. Lol!

    Where I live, there’s 2% of women identifying as black/hispanic. 2%.

    Meaning a few months ago when talking to two of them: One was adamant that she was not interested in any amount less than $6k per month…the second said flat out that she was very very picky. Given the small numbers, they had every chance of succeeding. And I would point out that though both were attractive, they were only average in terms of what I have seen in US or UK profiles. Fortunately I don’t have a fetish, or I’d have to migrate to the US or UK.

    My point though, is that it’s really the demographics where there are many women of colour in the US and UK, and large excess of women over men on SA that has a much bigger effect than people give credit for. It’s not just SD preferences (which has been covered here by others).

  38. This had to be written by someone a. White b.undereducated c.an alien.

    Attractive Black women do not need coaching on etiqutte. Class is a matter of upbringing and education. Race and class are not one in the same oh unenlightened one! Do you give Russian mail order blondes and dirty Mexican girls etiquette on dating men as they are foreign in our country? I don’t think so. This was so appalling and you should be fired. There is no way in a hell that a REAL black woman wrote this absolute trash article. Horrible advice. “Leave the stereotypes at home?” WTF. I doubt you are giving this message to lighter skinned women. If you are giving advice for younger SBs fine, but race based advise is just gross. In fact most Filipinas I know and Mexicans girls have the hottest temper for the smallest things. Perhaps they should be having an “etiquette lesson.” Absolutely zero class, and I doubt you even have a bachelors degree in anything Ms. Expert. Gross.

    • Anonymous says:

      LMAO good handle

    • Nepheria says:

      I agree 100%!!!!! The “black” stereotypes on baby daddies!!???? Hair!??? Yes because us blk women couldn’t possibly have & grow our own hair & we all have baby daddies & need guidance on how to act in the presence of white men. Please stop writing!! It is NOT your thing!

      • MsDelovely says:

        Agreed! This was so unprofessional and played into stereotypes itself. It was almost solely speaking to stereotypes! And saying that a rule “can apply to any SB” doesn’t make a difference because the article is still pointed at Black women. This was very insulting. Whoever wrote it, whatever racial background, you need to reevaluate.

    • oi says:

      ummmm “dirty Mexican girls”???????? YOU ARE GROSS

    • oi says:

      Proof that black people can also be close-minded and rude towards non-white people. Mexican girls are great just as any women of Colour

  39. Sherlyn says:

    I was recommended this web site by way of my cousin. I’m not certain whether or not this put up is
    written by him as nobody else know such particular about my
    problem. You’re wonderful! Thank you!

  40. Gabrielle M1 says:

    Hi everyone,

    i’ve officially been on SA for a couple of months now and I can’t seem to meet the right type of SD. All the one i’ve met so far we’Re looking for a “play & pay”arrangement or a “play & gift” arrangement which is not what i’m looking for. In the end, i’m writting this post because I wanted to know if someone could take a look at my profil and give me a feedback thank you.

    Best regards 🙂 ,


    • Teanna202 says:

      Hi Gabrielle,

      You have a very nice profile, but it is generic. A lot of the women on the site talk about their interests, what they do, and that they are looking for an SD who is a mentor, guide, etc. Write something that makes you stand out, and that leaves a lasting impression. Your profile is really the only representation you have before communication. You mentioned you like Nietzsche, Steinbeck and Riordan; why not quote a famous line from one of their works in your profile? Men of a certain caliber who are familiar with that kind of literature, and moreover, enjoy it, will want to at least talk to you.

      Also, go through your profile and just correct some minor spelling and grammar errors. It may not seem like a big deal, but for some, it may just be the factor as to whether or not they would like to talk to you.

      • Virgin Bubble says:

        That was wonderful advice that you gave her, I’m taking some of it in consideration for when I re-vamp mine.

  41. AtlSB says:

    Most people have a preference of the type of person they are attracted to. Therefore their is no need to single out the “brown girls”. The same advice goes for all women. That is, to be the best version of yourself.

    • Mallika says:

      Agreed, I’m a brown(Indian) woman and unsurprisingly most of my SD have been brown or arabs and very VERY eager to meet me. When I first joined I simply gave my name, no other details or pics because I was still trying to figure out what to say, that was enough though – already had 3 potentials from a similar background sending me message after message and leaving me their phone numbers. When I eventually met with my first SD (he was the one sending me a new message every day) he said his eagerness to meet me was due to the fact I was the first SB he had come across who was from the same background as him. Seriously he didn’t even care what I looked like, he just wanted to meet.

      Found the whole thing pretty ironic. Theres this dating site I used to visit at one point in which the members were 90% south asian and all the men were more interested in finding a caucasian girl yet on a site where the roles are reversed the south-asian men are more interested in finding someone of a similar background

  42. Raquel says:

    pls note little English mistake such in my reacting to this blog. I mean’t to write (having a mixed relationship can be quite challenging” & (some people prefers to play it safe & not self).
    ?I am Dutch, haha not an excuse either…
    The bottom line is, lets just be nice and respectful to each other, we don’t have to like each other as a race but in today’s globalize world, there is a need for tolerance and understanding in order to at least on some level get along. Reading through this blog. Rather than sharing each other opinion & respecting our differences, we still allow our race getting in the way of knowing some nice guys/girls out there just because of their skin color. Worst still justify our sick intuition with wigs, tan, contact lenses etc No black woman says hey I am going to fix hair extensions to look a white girl & no white girl says hey I am going to tan my skin to look black.
    Both race have one thing in mind and that is I am going to look beautiful, and have nice skin tone….it is misleading when white girls assumes we use hair extension to look like them,,, seriously! white women themselves uses hair extension & even outrageous numbers use contact lens, who are they imitating? Beats me!
    It’s also wrong for black girls to think the white folks are getting tan to look dark like them.
    It’s our choice to look the way we choose and want to because we feel good about it and not because of some race.

  43. Realimperfectbeauty says:

    Hi, I just have to say thank you to everyone who replied to this post. It was definitely informative.
    As a dark skinned, mixed, Black woman who grew up in a very diverse setting; I just want to add that this post and comments made were right on the money. I too have experienced racial profiling in the past, mainly from Black men. I agree, everyone has their own encounters whether they are white, black or Asian. Unfortunately, color and size is and has been a major factor since forever but as a people (And I do mean ALL people) we really could shift our negativity to more useful & comprehensive thoughts and actions to negate stereotypes. There is nothing wrong with admitting you aren’t perfect, because none of us are. It’s true, sometimes we tend to give off bad vibes/attitudes even when we don’t mean to (and this is seen particularly in Black women and men whether rich or poor). I myself have found that I can be an emotionally fueled person at times but I continue to work on self healing. Striving towards enhancement in academics, looks etc. is just one component in what is really expected of us as babies. Knowing better and doing better always puts you in another lane. So when you think about it when you sign on to the sugar lifestyle, revamping yourself is the goal you sought out to begin with.. right?? So.. changing something’s about ourselves to climb the pyramid doesn’t seem like the worst thing in the world. Change equals more opportunities.

  44. Queen Ruby22 says:

    Hello I recently joined this site approximately 2 days ago. I was wondering if some one could take a look at my profile and give me some constructive criticism and pointers .

    • AtlSB says:

      I like what you had to say. You listed your interests and what you were looking for in an SB. My only advice, is to smile in your pictures. Show a picture of your doing something you’re interested in or in a location you like to visit.

      • Sugar Baby says:

        Hi I’m a newbie brown sugar
        so I’m just gonna follow suit and ask please check out my profile. thanks

  45. Anonymous says:

    I can’t believe what I’ve just read wow

  46. Anonymous says:

    Some men will simply not like black women, no matter what they present themselves as. Some men will love black women. This article is not valid incite for anyone. It simply offends those it’s meant to “help” so there is no reason it should still be up.

  47. Ames87 says:

    In case the compost content of this post totally flew over your heads, what a load of stereotype infested hogwash this is. A failed attempt at policing women, particularly those of colour. Shame on you.

  48. AfricanGoddess says:

    This was Bullshit. Didn’t help at all but I didn’t expect it to.

  49. His Doll Baby says:

    The blog was already stereotyped. Lmao, oh wow.

  50. Here to Help says:

    As a black woman who joined this site 2 days ago and have had absolutely no trouble getting attention, I will say this: it’s a complete myth these people on here promulgate about white men being mostly attracted to white women and for black women to “expect” to have a hard time on here. Race issues are often confused with cultural issues. It’s not that black women are having a hard time on here because they are black, but because they may be less educated or not be as polished. But that also applies to some of the blatant white trash I see on here, so it’s not a race issue, entirely. I hate seeing people constantly saying we should “expect” to have a hard time like we’re wasting our time or something…not true at all.

    The fact of the matter is, in my experience, I find any man, specifically white ones, who are well-traveled and have had an exposure to different kinds of beauty in different parts of the world to most likely have an affinity for other types of beauty besides the typical “bottle-blonde-haired/blue-eyed” variety. So that would apply to wealthy men who have the means to travel extensively, but in my experience I’ve also found that to be true of military men.

    One thing is true, though, in my experience: men who say specifically that they don’t want to communicate with black women are simply afraid of coming into contact with the stereotypical loud-mouthed “ghetto queen” kind of black woman. I’ve gotten messages on here and on other dating sites in the past from men who specifically write off black women in their profiles, and when I remind them that I’m black and asked what made me different, they explain something to that effect.

    ANY man is attracted to ANYONE that is beautiful. Everyone does have a type or an ideal, but at the end of the day, beauty is beauty. A truly cultured man with experience will know that.

    But here’s a trick for everyone…I’m pretty fair-skinned because I’m actually bi-racial, so on dating sites in the past, because I do happen to date white men primarily but know how they are with interacting with black women, I’ve listed myself as White/Caucasian because I know I’ll show up in search results for men who might not specifically be searched for “Black/African American” or a mixed race or what have you.

    Oh, and it works. Many men themselves who have contacted me out of surprise at seeing me have said they would not have found me otherwise. But they don’t care. They’re glad they did. Again, beauty is beauty.


    • Traveling Man says:

      Could not have said it better myself, here to help! Love women of color in particular. ;))

    • F says:

      You are just as condescending as the article. Yes you may have had no problem getting sd but that doesn’t mean you get silence or discount those who have. If 20 PEOPLE say there were told outright “I don’t like black women”
      or “please only white women” that is their experience and anyone who experiences this has a right to question the bias in this site.
      Assumeing rejected woc are sterotypes, unattractive, or have attitudes or are not educated is disgusting.

      Why is it that black women always have to try 3x as hard to seem nice and drama free?
      We shouldn’t have to pretend to be anything other than what we are and treated as individuals.

      Men on this site shouldn’t be coddled for their fear of black women. You can’t excuse such behaviors that are based on encounters they never had.

  51. Anonymous says:

    white men LOVE us. exactly how we are. our kinky hair or weave. and our beautiful skin. make up or not. I know from plenty experience.. Idk about Asians, only had one. 😉

  52. Miah says:

    This blog is BULLSHIT. It’s basically telling black women to put up a front & reinvent themselves to appeal to a white man. NEVER!!!! Ladies don’t ever beg or change yourself to make yourself appealing to a man of another race. You don’t see them doing it. And if these mfs didn’t already feel like theyre a prize, we’ll they do now. This blog & many other like this are the reason us black women get treated like bed wenches smdh. Ladies don’t ever forget, we are the prize. And these lil blonde hair blue eyed barbies dolls they chase after, are the ones that spend thousands to imitate & look just like us. From the weave, to the tanning of their skin. Lol

    • Miah says:

      Excuse the typos lol

    • IHF2030 says:

      Most black females are clueless as how to interact with white men. And, white women rarely try to emulate black females. In fact, quite the opposite is true and that’s why so many black females walk around looking ridiculous with colored contact lenses and fake blonde hair hats glued to there heads.

    • Anonymous says:

      @Miah, do you believe the shit your write. How is your sugar dating going? How many white or other SDs have your snagged up yet? Please do tell.

      • Miah says:

        A couple as a matter of fact lol

      • Anonymous says:

        i’ve been extremely successful as well, lol.

      • lina t says:

        the responses I am reading are just more examples of how white women insert themselves into spaces that are not meant for them. This post was not meant for their eyes, and the comment section was not meant for their opinions or advice. They cannot relate and so things go right over their heads. There is a term for this: Taylor Swifting. I am seeing a lot of Taylor Swifting here.

      • Anonymous says:

        These blogs are meant for everyone. You can’t say that it’s only for blacks. That’s racist right there.

      • Anonymous says:

        The racist troll IHF is at it again.

    • DamnVixen says:

      Serious question … are you having any success in sugar dating with that attitude?

      ALL of us SBs, no matter what our race, have to reinvent ourselves in order to be appealing to the men who have the $$$. It’s basically a job. So you have to dress and act the way your employer wants.

      Nobody is telling black women to bleach their skin, wear colored contacts, and try to look white. The suggestions were for a “natural” look, which men generally prefer, no matter what your skin color.

      Your confidence and self-esteem is cool … but it’s going to be perceived as arrogance if you don’t realize that the men don’t owe you anything – and that as a Sugar Baby, your job is to cater to them.

      • Miah says:

        Actually I’m in a very successful sd/sb relationship with a white gentleman. And I wouldn’t expect you to understand where I was coming from. The truth hurts & I touched a few people’s nerves with what I said. My statement is based on the comments I wrote.

      • Miah says:

        I meant my statement is based on a lot of the comments from women of color who feel they need to change them selves to standout to a white man. Or did you not read them?

      • Kore says:

        @Miah Huh?

        Even if they wanted to do stupid things to attract white men, you’re telling them to continue doing what hasn’t worked for them so far?..

    • Jaybird923 says:

      In spite of what most people think black women aren’t a collective. We are not all the same as you or have the same upbringing, cultures, traditions, etc. Some us don’t have to put up a front or reinvent ourselves.

      In my opinion what you just did is no better than the article that you found to be so offensive. How does all the negative shit you said about a whole group people any better than the negative shit others say about black women.

      • DamnVixen says:

        I want to reiterate that I APOLOGIZE if what I wrote offended you. I’m seeing from your posts and Miah’s how emotionally charged this is in the sugar world. MUCH more than issues of weight and age.

        I’ll try to be more conscious of how I phrase things.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Vixen like I said before it did not offend me. I noticed the pattern and pointed it out. It was not an emotional response. I could give two shits about the sugar world and how any race or ethnicity does here. The sugar bowl is voluntary you try your luck if there are no takers then move on don’t whine about it. There’s no need for an apology at least not for me.

    • Kore says:

      @Miah Why is it BS? Most of the adivce applies to EVERY SB. There are just a couple of places where they actually address the stigma issue. Which obviously exists. Why would you tell people not to change?? Ignoring reality won’t help.

      The way I see it – if you want something, you’re going to have to change something in order to get it. Whatever the conditions, circumstances, etc. It applies to EVERYONE. If a person doesn’t want to do what it takes, then it’s their loss and they can quit complaining.

      • Miah says:

        Let me spell it out more clearly for you & others. If your going to make adjustments, make them because you choose too, not to attract a certain race. Reading through the comments, most women of color are complaining about white men not being attracted to them & asking what they can do to attract them. That angers me & it actually goes a lot deeper. I wouldn’t expect you to understand. Anyways I’m done with this subject. I see this being a never ending discussion & to be honest I don’t have the time or patience to sit here & go back & forth over the Internet.

      • noname says:

        miah your right i don’t understand but i do agree with you changes should only happen because you choose to make changes not to please some one you have done well but other ladies are struggling on this site they came here looking for a sugar daddy what are you saying to them forget about finding some one i don’t know what the answer is a lot of SD will filter black women out and they won’t see they’re profiles but i do know a lady who is sure of herself will be more sucessfull than a more beautiful lady that is not

    • His Doll Baby says:

      Yea agree Its basically stereotyped Black women saying what to do, what not to do and how to be. Lol like okayy

  53. Cat says:

    I’ve never experienced much of what’s been mentioned in this comment thread, maybe because I’m mixed and that somehow means I get a different response. I’m not a fan of the article because it’s not very constructive but I agree with many people here, it just comes down to preference.

    • Anonymous says:

      Black, mixed, other girls typically have problem landing SDs here…that’s why majority of advice inquiries are from them.

      • Cat says:

        I didn’t realize that was an issue until reading the comments on this post – I thought lots of men would like the more exotic look. I haven’t really noticed that I could potentially be overlooked because I’m biracial but then again, I don’t know anyone else on this website, so Caucasian girls could indeed get significantly more messages than me and I wouldn’t have a clue.

      • Anonymous says:

        Correct. And that means that you will have to initiate more contacts if you want to get more people to be interested in you.

        It sucks…but it is what it is.

      • Anonymous says:

        Most of the SDs are married people who are here because they are not getting whatever they needed at home.

        I am sure that some are looking for variety but most are just looking for what they are missing at home. Most SDs with money are white men…so more white women are in demand.

      • Cat says:

        It’s awful for people who do get overlooked because of their race and I’m thankful that I don’t include myself as one of them. I hope they do get more attention because I’m sure many, if not most of them are very pretty, smart and a great package. By the way, may I ask the two anonymous people who have replied to my comment – are you black sugar babies, white sugar daddies or something else? I’m just curious if you’ve had direct experience of this or if you feel this way?

      • Anonymous says:

        Same Anonymous



      • DamnVixen says:

        You are in England. You have an “exotic” look. You aren’t going to experience the racial prejudice like what is described in the article and prevalent in the US.

        The only issue with your profile that I hadn’t considered, is that it is likely with “mixed” checked for your ethnicity, you might not turn up on men’s searches.

        One of the little “tricks” I learned on this site, is just start opening dozens of male profiles every day. They look at who is viewing them, and then can make their own contact with you.

        If you have the time, search the profiles that you like, read them – and click your favorites – and tailor your profile to what they are looking for. Men also look at their favorites. (Also check the dates that they are online, there are so many inactive profiles and men who are no longer paying members who don’t use the site.)

  54. Cat says:

    I’ve never experienced much of what’s been mentioned in this comment thread, maybe because I’m mixed and that somehow means I get a different response. I’m not a fan of the article because it’s not very constructive but I agree with many people here, it just comes down to preference.

  55. anonymous says:

    This article is just terrible. It reeks of self-hate.

  56. Pretti Rehd says:


  57. CaribbeanQueen2121 says:


  58. Svetlanaa says:

    Stop playing the race card, since i’ve been on this site I had like only 2 or 3 unnecessary comments but thats it. The rest are being respectful and i have like 3 POT

  59. Cherimoya Velour says:

    We are not entitled to SD’s, we just want one. So this blog was a nice gesture but totally unnecessary.

  60. Sugar Daddy says:

    Take the bitter with the sweet and take it as you go. You cannot force someone to like you. I joined for fun, It might work out and it might not! lol And that’s okay. If it is meant to be it will be. I understand that a lot of men on here are white guys and most white guys like white women so I wouldn’t be surprised that I got less likes its cool, didn’t have to blog about this. It is totally self pittying and embarrassing to say the least

    • Marilyn says:

      Agree with Sugar Daddy it’s bitter sweet!!! But the truth is truth no way around it Lol saw with my own eyes the truth !a lot of people just don’t want the truth that’s all Lol Not just speaking off assumptions I Won’t let that discourage me though (; I believe it’s someone out there for everybody “BSB” may not get as many hits as the WSB on this site I absolutely understand it’s a possibility you could luck up on that one good one though and I’m not one of the ones that say all of the men are racist on this site just think it’s preference a big difference.

  61. Brownsugarbby94 says:

    This article just lets me know that it’s time for me to delete this account. White men on here treat black girls like prostitutes. I’ll pass.

  62. Marilyn says:

    I see it’s a little tough to be a brown sugar baby on SA and that’s no secret I’m a slim busty brown girl 38D I favor actress Meagan good 21 fun sweet very attractive young woman and I rarely get any hits on this site swear I only receive 3 messages a month I’ve met a few men on her, but the arrangements really didn’t go anywhere no my best friend she just joined the site a few days a go long blonde hair skinny DD boobs a little ditzy Lol I love her though perfect smile and she received 100 messages her first day on the site !!! Not kidding I’m like omg my first day I was lucky enough to get 4 or 5 messages Men offering her thousands of dollars paid flights and shopping before a conversation even starts!!!she shows me everything these men send her so its proof in the pudding I whitnesed it with my own eyes ! white girls get killer hits off of this site just the truth my friend so lucky wish I could get hits like that She got it going on !
    The site is majority white men so that could possibly be why, I used to dance and white guys loved me older young didn’t matter maybe the internet is just different because it’s hard filling me out on the web verses me in the club we are face to face and they can see that I’m sweet nice girl and not the typical stereotypical black girl I guess that’s what it is they don’t want to take a risk over the web not going to pull the race card and say all of the men are racist on this site you have some that are now ,but not all Just preference even a older white man told me on the site might as well not waste my time on this site because 90% of the site is white men and they seek white women most of the time I was offended by the comment at first but can’t even get mad at the man because he was stating facts and speaking the truth! And I also think area has a lot to do with it I am in the SOUTH so that could be the big problem :/ well Florida not so bad because its a big Gumbo bowl there seems like I get more hits from men up north NYC especially Europe , Canada just extremely wayyyy to far And not convenient for me guess I will just let whoever is interested in me email me instead of sending out 15 messages and not getting a response maybe 1 or 2 if I’m lucky that would probably be a better solution.

    • Brown Kitten says:

      I did something very similar.
      Changed my lovely photo to some blonde I found on Google images and my mailbox was full of offers. I messaged quite a few of them back informing them that I had conducted a social experiment on them and apologized for getting their hopes up, but that I needed to know once and for all just what my profile was missing. Thanked them for their time and blocked them (not that THAT was necessary, lol; they wouldn’t be looking for ME any time soon!)
      Some guy had the nerve to tell me I had low self esteem for doing that. Ha! I told him I did not care in the least what some stranger on the internet thinks of me and kept it moving. I’m leaving this site soon; It’s all kinds of pointless for a gorgeous, intelligent and career driven BROWN SKINNED LADY such as myself.

  63. Diamond Price says:


  64. Vanessa says:

    Woman you speak truth regardless of race. Thank you for the wisdom.

  65. ABlackWoman'sDream says:

    Let there be an Affirmative Action in Sugar.

    If a white man dates 10 women, at least 2 of them must be black, unless he is a broke ass mothafucka.

    If a black man dates 10 women, at least 8 of them must be black, unless he is a broke ass mothafucka.

    If a hispanic man dates 10 women, at least 2 of them must be black, unless he is a broke ass mothafucka.

    If an asian man dates 10 women, at least 2 of them must be black, unless he is a broke ass mothafucka.

  66. IHF2030 says:

    I think I’ll go over to youtube and watch some more of that Sotomayor cat. There is much to be learned, I think.

  67. Jaybird923 says:

    Why don’t you guys stop trolling the brown sugar blog pages. You guys are just as bad. You’re irritated when they complain about race but every time you see a post on the page you click on it.

    At this point what do you expect to find? A comment on the declining middle class or maybe something about the immigration issues the EU is dealing with? Just let them have a place to commiserate with each other and ignore logic.

  68. Anonymous says:

    “Plenty of pussy in the ocean.”

    Sounds like a natural or “man” made disaster to me. 🙂

  69. Anonymous says:

    I’m offended by this whole article. WTF.

  70. 1ndigo says:

    This article was kind of disheartening. I came to it expecting words of wisdom, and instead got told to fix my weave and not present myself as ghetto… Lol. When you click people’s page and it literally says “Black women, do not message me” it makes you wonder, is it really me that’s the problem? I’m beautiful, I carry myself well, I can keep amazing conversation, respectful and funny, my shape is nice, I don’t spell incorrectly, I’m young, and contrary to popular belief, I’m a nerd. Yet still, I hardly have any luck. But I mean what can I expect when 90% of the white men on these websites want a blonde hair blue eyed Barbie, and when they do speak, they treat me as if I’m a prostitute. They don’t want us to be smart, ha. The the fact that I DON’T use Ebonics and misspell scares them actually, I’ve literally been told that I speak like a professor and they’re no longer interested. I’m not chucking and jiving for anyone. It seems like people low ball my price BECAUSE I’m black. It seems like a joke to be a verified page on a sugar daddy website, and to offer me one hundred dollars for my time, like Ashton Kutcher is going to pop out and tell me I’ve been Prank’d lol. It makes me want to give up. But my 9-5 check and all these bills I have to pay, along with my expensive taste and craving for new experiences say otherwise. Lol. One day I’ll find my match, and with as much of a sweetheart that I am, they’ll appreciate me.

    • Attica M says:

      they wouldnt tell white women this, so i dont know why they had to make this for us.
      for SD who want a little spice in life they sure go for the same ol. but its whatever. If i lost sleep for all the dates i couldnt get from a man b/c i am black and they didnt like black women, I’d never sleep for 100 years. heh.

      also, omg youre lovely o=

      • IHF2030 says:

        You may think the article harsh, but it was necessary. That’s because most black females are utterly clueless when trying to interact with white men.

      • 1ndigo says:

        Well I know why they tell us this lol. They don’t know any better. When you grow up privileged and the only black people you’re surrounded by are blacks who don’t even enjoy being black themselves, lol you start believing the stereotypes you see on TV, or you might magnify faults in the black community because you don’t understand that no race is perfect, including whites. But I digress. The article is ignorant. We all understand that. No reason dwelling on something so trivial. Much love to you girly and I hope you find what you’re looking for, and remember, you’re beautiful ❤️ don’t let anyone question your worth. I know you probably live far away from me, but I’d love some sugar baby friends, so you can message me anytime haha.

    • Anonymous says:

      Sweetheart, the only reason you want a White man is because he is in majority and he has the money. If all white men became dirt poor, and Black, Hispanic or Asian men got all the money instead, then you would go for them.

      It is simple economics…

      You are correct that painting you with broad brush is unfair. But you are not going to change the landscape by whining about it. You will change the landscape in your favor by cultivating your niche.

      • Attica M says:

        actually i wouldnt mind dating any kind of man, thats why i dont put a race or nationality preference on my profile. life is too short to limit yourself.

        white men, like white women, are prized with these ideals, but i dont see it that way nor do i buy that notion they are the only ones with money, sweetheart.

      • IHF2030 says:

        Actually it is not just a matter of socio-economics. Studies show that white women will pass over non-white men with college degrees for white men without college degrees.

      • Anonymous says:

        I don’t know about “studies” but that sounds right to me.

    • Anonymous says:

      Since there is not Affirmative Action in sugar the White man is not required to take up certain number of black women to fill the Affirmative Action quota. If you can charm a White man…then more power to you.

    • Anonymous says:

      Attraction is based on preferences. Racism has nothing to do with. I am just not attracted to a particular ethnic group, but I am not a racist. It is easy to cry “Racist!” around here. But if i can’t get an erection when I look at your body even if you are an attractive black woman, how is that racist? Same with BBW women. Even if you are blond, blue eyed, if you weigh 250 lbs and stand 5 feet 3 inches tall, I will not be attarcted to you. Does that mean I hate fat women? No. I am just not attarcted to them. You cannot force attarction.

      • Attica M says:

        You are attracted to who you are attracted to, but i dont see why you would limit yourself b/c of something like melanin.

        but thats on you. pleasure for me comes in many forms and hope to experience them all.

      • Anonymous says:

        I am an Asian man. I see lots of white women with profiles that state “sorry but not attracted to Asian men.” You don’t see me crying “Racist!”. I just move on to the next profile. Plenty of pussy in the ocean. And for the record, I am not attracted to black women. I do not state that in my profile. I just ignore them.

      • Anonymous says:

        “sorry but not attracted to Asian men.”

        I have never seen that. Which city they put this in SF, LA, etc?

    • 1ndigo says:

      Lol excuse me @IFH2030 but don’t try and validate nonsense. Generalizations such as what “most” black women do have no room on my comment thread because I doubt you know ANY decent black women to understand what they do and don’t know how to do. You’re acting like white men are a different species. If a sugar baby has basic knowledge on how to speak to men in general, she will have the knowledge to speak to a white man. Regardless, this post didn’t explain how to speak to anyone. Ok I’m not speaking “ghetto,” now what??? Lol. This article is horribly written and lacking in definition. Most of the simple information that CAN be taken from this article is basic knowledge. You should be ashamed for actually taking up for something so biased, and ultimately showing that you are too.

      • IHF2030 says:

        1ndigo….There is obviously a reason why so many black women come on here to complain about having difficulty landing Caucasian sugardaddies.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      We’re not obliged to find you attractive. You can imply racism all you like but the fact is most people will seek someone within their own race.

    • His Doll Baby says:

      I SO AGREE

  71. Attica M says:

    i wish this site would allow a preference filter for me. Block out all who dont like black women. i mean, this is no different than other dating sites. i am used to people not being attracted to me because of my skin, thats their problem.

    I am just sick of taking the time to read profiles that look like we would match but then i get to the bottom and its ” no black chicks.”

    • SD says:

      We all have that issue. I’m older and SA doesn’t filter for age. I get all excited about a prospect and I get no response or if so she wants someone more BF aged .

      Other sites -notably SDFM show age preferences ,and most SBs list under 40 as a search .

      • Attica M says:

        That site is awful!

        It looks like a myspace profile from the early 2000s, and it wants SB to pay.

        I always limit my age range to how old my mom is! But yes we need a better filtering service for a lot of categories. or at least a better “keyword” search.

    • 1ndigo says:

      So true.

    • IHF2030 says:

      I agree you should be able to filter for race.

    • Tia says:

      I am 32 black woman. I met two sugardaddies off the websites from my location. One of them are 50 yrs old, cute white man. We had dinner. He never took me out on another date again. He send text messages and nothing equal allowances.

      Another one was a 59 yr old large frame man. Funny part was he mistake for another young black girl. He saw me waiting at the table. He was embarrassed. We had conversations. He send a text that about sending very cheap money for sex. I didn’t fell for it.

      I do get other messages from other sugardaddies. Most of them are married. I didn’t want to date married sugardaddies. I live drama-free life and want to keep it that way. You have to bring more to the table besides looks. It can be personality and goals. Goals can be a college degree, trade school or business. Brush up on some finance skills. Try to learn their job lingo. Conversation skills are a must.

  72. Anonymous says:

    If sugar is not working out then pop a baby or two, if you have not already…then apply for welfare while Uncle Obama is still president. If Trump or some conservative jerk wins the election, he will put you to work that you may have to wake up at 7 AM for. 😉

    Alternatively, work your ass of to elect some woman for the job so that you don’t have to get one.

  73. Anonymous says:

    I actually find it incredibly hard for brown sugar babies on the website.. A friend and I actually signed up at the same time she’s hispanic and i’m black, both in college and same age. She actually got 3x more messages then I have and has already been on 2 dates, the crazier part is how extremely short her bio is. Now don’t get me wrong we are both 2 beautiful young ladies but I guess most men on here aren’t attracted to black women..

    • Anonymous says:

      Correct. Sorry that you did not know that before you joined. 🙁

    • anonymousSSSD says:

      It is tough for black women on here. Most black women do not know how to present themselves so that white men will find them attractive. I’ve had a black sb I’ve been seein for 2+ years. She’s awesome but she looks good and carries herself well.

      Unfortunately imo, a majority of the black ladies on here look like they stepped out of a World Star video. A majority are ouf of shape and overweight. 5’2″ 170lbs is not average ladies. It’s obese. Then there’s tatts and bad grammar and spelling in the profiles. Then there’s the bad pics with women scantily dressed in clothes much too tight and wearing leopard print. It all points to a lack of education and class. Definitely not something that a middle aged affluent white man wants to be seen with. Now, I’m not describing every black woman on this site but a majority are like this. It gives the good one’s a bad rep and so most white sd’s automatically write them off.

    • Anonymous says:

      If a middle-aged White man is seen with a ho, he would much rather prefer that he is seen with a classier ho.

    • Riviera says:

      As long as they are attractive and well presented I can’t see why they wouldn’t get a response. The I am determined to be a Fortune 500 CEO bio stuff is off putting sometimes…

    • Attica M says:

      black women are mostly valued if they are mixed with something. this is life, i wouldnt take it too seriously though.

      just be mindful and never feel you have to compromise for anyone. you are amazing and dont need validation from some jerk with money.

  74. BeautyOf2015 says:

    I don’t agree with this article. Some SDs are probably racist, and hence this misunderstanding of us women of color. I think it’s bull how this article is telling me to basically be a kiss ass. I know how to talk, I know how to win a crowd, make people around me laugh, and to adapt in many settings. Don’t try to stereotype me because of my skin color. I’m apart of the human race just life everyone else. It’s shameful to spew such nonsense to black women, Hispanic, and other women of color. Makes you wonder

  75. Anonymous says:

    this is a disgusting article.. what? telling brown/black women to not be too “ghetto”.. done with this.

    • IHF2030 says:

      Black females make a HUGE mistake when they interact with white men in the same way that they interact with black males. And since most black women on this site seem to be seeking white men, they have to compete with white women and Asian women. So, black women who hope to be successful on this site need to bring ALOT to the table. It’s as simple as that.

      • BeautyOf2015 says:

        See now you are generalizing which makes your statement invalid, and null and voided.

      • SD says:

        Bottom line is girl selection is not racial for many guys . Preference is an individual thing. If you as a black woman prefer Black guys ,I am not going to be mad about it . I would just respect your tastes and desires . Don’t take it personally. Just work hard to be sweet,loving ,and desirable

    • Anonymous says:

      Sugar is not affected by Affirmative Action. So people can discriminate as much as they want when sugaring.

      If you have problem with that then go find a job which IS subjected to Affirmative Action.

  76. Young and Sophisticated says:

    Sexy Black Real Woman your statement was so spot on. I must admit I too was a bit taken back from the suggestions but as you advised if it does not pertain to me then why should be mad. Possibly I took it as a general insinuation to all woman of color. Anyhow, I am a young, active, intelligent and fantastic dark skin woman and majority of the men I meet are white American or European. I often wear hair extensions and lashes (sometimes)and non of the gentleman ever had an issue. FYI just because a man asks if your hair is real does not necessarily means it looks terrible. Men are curious about much of what ladies do nowadays to enhance our beauty.

    Good luck to the BS SBs. I admit this can be a bit challenging but if your serious about the lifestyle just attain as much knowledge as possible and stay positive.

    Best Regards,

  77. I read the article and the comments and some of you personalized the information provided and took it to another level.

    Granted, some of the information provided was targeted to a specific audience and if it does not apply to you then then use the information that does and throw the rest out the way you would with any other article. Some of you are hooked on weaves vs natural hair, make-up vs.no make-up and guess what men do not care as long as you look amazing. If you wear, a weave and you are a sophisticated confident woman do you really believe that the man that singled you out will care.

    If you have never dated a man that is independently wealthy then get a clue now or you will not do well on this site. I recently joined and I am older than most but I have dated wealthy men many times in my life and they expect a classy sophisticated black woman that can handle herself in an appropriate manner regardless if it is attending a play or a football game. I wear a weave when I feel like it my make-up is always right and my hands and feet are always up to par. I am self-educated, have traveled around the world on my own and with others, and can hold any man a decent conversation or I can simply listen if that is what he needs from me. I am a chocolate skin woman that loves the looks and the body I have been blessed with and I love the person that I am today and who I am going to be tomorrow.

    The key to the site is you have to be he wants not you think he wants. Save the other stuff for somewhere else like when you are out with your friends and tone down the attitude. No man wants attitude from any woman regardless of her skin color or age.

    Good luck to all of you!

  78. Teanna says:

    I’m a Black and Latina woman on SA, and I’m very new to the site. One of my main concerns is that I’m underestimated because of my background. A lot of the men that I speak to on the site always tell me how surprised they are with my vocabulary, and that my hair is very nice compared to my Black sisters… I understand the stereotypes and that is out of my control to change someone’s 20-30-40+ year long perspective, but it’s difficult, not only finding men who are open to an “interracial” arrangement, but keeping them as well.

  79. Anonymous says:

    Pardon my Francois, but this is absolute horse shit. “CARAMEL” delight?!!!??! I’m sorry, I’m chocolate and always will be chocolate. If someone doesn’t like chocolate, oh well. For every one that doesn’t there are 20 that do! I don’t get dates not because I’m black, wear a weave AND my LONG natural fro when I feel like it, or because yes I’m thick/plus sized, but I am SOLID and have a gorgeous shape, or because yes, I went to college for five years and speak Standard English 65% of the time but still twerk to Fetty Wap and wear backwards snapbacks and black and pink Jordans sometimes. I don’t get dates because I do not date married men. Trust me, for my location not having a lot of potential sugar I get plenty of eye candy looking my way because I will never be nothing but me. It is very sad black women feel they have to change who they are to be validated by men. Validate yourselves first ladies.

  80. Anonymous says:

    omg this is awful.

    black women (in every facet in american life) have to play the field the way non blacks have to -to get what they want. most men and SD aren’t going to want to invest in a woman with her natural hair journey so i suggest ladies wear what they want in regards to hair. yes we HAVE to either look extremely stereotyped ( big booty/big ass) while still maintaining the only accepted standards in this lifestyle (long hair ,tiny waist, and submissive)

    these are the facts.

  81. Krissy says:

    Would someone be willing to share some tips about my profile.not sure if im doing something wrong.thanks guys

    • Melane says:

      You’re cute as all get up, but look a little mean and your bio is a little negative. The sentences kind of run on and that room is a little messy. Other than that you’re gorgeous. I hope it works out for you!

  82. Black SD says:

    Hello. Why are you starting an argument with me, I simply asked for your name.

  83. 90sbabygirl says:

    I like this article but as someone that is currently doing this, very well I may brag, I encourage all women (and gay men) to read the book “Ho Tactics”. It’s the ultimate step by step guide ask anyone in our world who has used it.

    • Kana says:

      Hey do you think you can give me some advice how to create my profile description? I’m very new to this and I have no idea.

      • Attica M says:

        you make it how you think it would sound appealing. dont put anything in there you wouldn’t want to see in someone else’s. be honest and modest.

  84. Dawgfan007957 says:

    I absolutely adore black women. I have been a member of SA about a year. And lucked into great situation about a month after being on the site. My job got a little crazy and things went south from there. I was and continue to be very upfront with what I am looking for. I agree the the poster here. So things are just a turn off. But they are turn off regardless of enthnicity. A tight fitting dress from 4 years ago just looks bad. Makeup that appears to applied while blindfolded is downright scary.

    Remember everything starts with the profile. Sentences that don’t make sense and poor grammar don’t work. If I need an interpreter to decipher what you said then no thanks.

    I will continue to seek out a great SD/SB relationship with a woman of color regardless what people may say or think.

  85. Chanel says:

    Thanks. Was wondering if someone was going to discuss the obvious. In the past few years, I’ve only dated outside of african-american males. There is always a look or stare because I am a woman of color. I don’t wear make-up or extensions. I’m glad that someone addressed this to other women who do create their appearance with these type of unkept enhancements. They make the rest of us look bad. On top of that you can’t expect a man of any type of wealth, any race, to want to take you out if your hair looks like its going to attack someone. Anyway there are guys who love women of color but are scared to approach them. My question is do I approach them if I think they may be interested?

    • SD On Chat says:

      You can attract men of all races here by creating a very good SB profile with good text and even better photos. Photos should display the appropriate amount of sexiness for the type of arrangement that you are seeking. Present well and the SD men will come to you.

  86. cocokiss says:


    hey can you take a look at my profile .. anyone is welcome to look if they can give me advice on how to change it to stand out more thank you

    i literally joined the site last night


  87. Doebaby says:

    @sexyrockstar…I love your advice. Can you help me?

  88. Asia says:

    I live in Tallahassee thinking about relocating to Jacksonville, I’m really young sweet and innocent and I’m a full time student very hardworking. But I can’t find a REAL sugar daddy to save my life. Someone look at my page and help! Please!

  89. krissy says:

    This post is very helpful but it hasn’t changed my results.seems I only get the creeps:(.what am I doing wrong?someone help lol

  90. blackgirl485959 says:

    I’m a brown girl and while I haven’t had much success on this site, I have to say I found this post INCREDIBLY insulting and offensive. Check your weave? Don’t be ghetto? Watch the negative attitude? Whoever wrote this ought to be ashamed of themselves.

    • ElleW. says:

      EXACTLY! “Don’t talk about your baby daddy”???? For someone who wants us to leave all the stereotypes at the door, they surely went out of their way to include them in this wack ass article.

    • RasLalibelaa says:

      I was sick reading this whole thing… Im just reading the comments hoping there’s better advice in them.

      • Goddess says:

        LOL! My best advice is to have fun, do only what you are comfortable with, remove “can’t, don’t and won’t” as well as negatives from profiles and be proactive about your search. You would fare best with anyone in a metropolitan area vs small city in Mississippi. So location, location, location is often key. Especially if looking outside your local area, be proactive. Good luck ladies 🙂

    • ASweetHeart777 says:

      Hello, blackgirl485959. I am sure the writer’s intention was not to be insulting, or offensive. I am an African-American, and quite frankly, I have to agree that many women – whether they are African-American, Jamaican, Haitian, Dominican, African, or any other dark race, too often look absolutely hideous with some of the wig, extention, make-up and behaviors they display. It is an embarrassment to me.

      I come from a family wherein our natural “black’ hair is deemed beautiful, well-kept, not covered in wigs, and is worn proudly. Likewise, our make-up is used to enhance, as opposed to mask our beauty. In terms of the comment about ghetto behavior, well, as a lady, raised by ladies, I cringe at the crude, and ignorant behavior and verbal exchanges that I witness at times. It is embarrassing.
      Not one member of my family presents themselves in such a manner – from my Grandparents – to my Grandchildren, and everyone in between. We have class, which does not mean haughty. Simply put it is a matter of ‘dignity’. There are those that should become acquainted with what that word means. – ASweetHeart777

      I agree with DiamondSA, and quite frankly, I believe she was being very kind.

  91. sparklebabe says:

    Brown sugar baby checking in and i just wanted to ask a few questions.
    I have natural hair i cut all my hair off 6 months ago to go natural and most of my pics i have a long wavy weave and natural looking make-up so should i take those down or keep them?
    i want to be pampered but i dont want to have to jump through hoops to get it. i feel like as a brown sugar baby we have to do more and be a certain way to get a decent SD some of us are on the thick side and have tattoos and no our hair isn’t perfect so how do we sort through all the mud and find the gold?

    • Attica M says:

      I am going through the same. I just do crochet braids. Most people who have never been with a black women or care to understand our culture dont mind if they can put their hands in it. Fake it till you can make it and if you can find someone to understand your hair journey, i hope they would invest b.c the results are worth it.

      good luck hun <3

  92. B says:

    Could this be more offensive? This is extremely saddening. Makes me question should I really be a member of a site with a blog like this.

  93. Kayla says:

    I for awhile was wondering if this topic would be brought up, because it definitely needed to be. Although idk how I feel about this blog in particular, it doesn’t seem like this was written by a person of color. This feels like it’s just singling WOC out and telling us what to do to make someone like us. That’s complete bull to me.

  94. Shaunessy says:

    yesss @Angelou I guess the need for Brown Sugar is not on high demand.

  95. Shaunessy says:

    hahaahaa ” Can you be my Baby-Daddy ” ,

  96. Angelou says:

    This whole article has so many red flags, for starters why do you feel the need to police a woman of colour’s demeanor? why do women of colour need help trying to be “sexy”? You have pulled so many stereotypes out of your ass with this one, and it’s a shame because I know you may have meant well and there were some agreeable points but overall, insensitive and invalid report. In fact, was this written by a woman of colour? Because it was so far off that I could swear a middle aged white woman from Manhattan wrote this.

  97. Lexi says:

    Hi guys i need your help, whats wrong with my profile… eb1f32ab

  98. Josh says:


    “most men have weird fetishes they want fulfilled from brown ladies.”

    What kind of fetishes, and why?

  99. 1stclass says:

    Luckily, Starbucks and 5th ave exist in NYC, the High streets in London and the Emirate lounge in Dubai…. Try everyday places if SA isn’t working.

    Yes, I am of color and have had many hits, winks and faves on this site. But as one put it earlier, most men have weird fetishes they want fulfilled from brown ladies.

    Stay at it or find another venue, as we all need to be respected, regardless of color or weave type.

  100. 1stclass says:

    Am a bit offended by this blog post….telling a woman–any–of color or otherwise–how to walk and wear her hair and makeup to fit in for a certain race of man is disrespectful and humiliating. If SA’s women don’t know the basics and men aren’t receptive or respectful of who they are, then maybe they should try another site. Ghetto-Fab may work for some men, dainty may work for others. Let people be who they are and let their choosers choose accordingly.

    Lastly, based on the rude and amateurish comments posted by some men in response to the blog, Ladies, if you enjoy interracial dating acceptance, feel free to try jdate.com or match or a myriad of others.

    Be woman, be you. Good luck.

  101. Mike Champ says:

    Ladies I can be your best “Brown” sugar baby. Athletic, charming, intelligent too. In the Nj/Ny area and I can make it happen for you!Whatever you need…

  102. Soffia says:

    @josh who are you? why are being stupid and negative for your own entertainment?? This is a blog with real women, having a MATURE discussion. please don’t disrespect our intelligence.

  103. “Josh says:
    February 23, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    No I wanted to know if it was nigger or nigga. As black people call each other nigga all the time, no?”

    “Josh says:
    February 23, 2015 at 6:12 pm

    “Nigga, please.”

    Respect!!! Please don’t interfere with serious conversation. ”

    My response is as ridiculous as your question. You can’t be serious. Just say “psyche” and we can pretend you didn’t ask such an idiotic question.

  104. Essa says:

    Hey, reading this post is enlighthing. Ive been on and off SA a couple of time both unsuccessful. It seems the only SDs attracted to a black (well me anyway) are near 70, want to have a mix race child with me or have a fetish they’d like to fulfill. I dont know, it probably is just me. I know i’m not ugly and have a great figure i just dont know what part of me (or prentence) could help me be successful on here as a young black female.

    HELP @sexyRockstar

  105. Joy777 says:

    @SexyRockstar I need your help for my profile. I have been on SeekingArrangement.com for a week and i haven’t had one single hit. I think that my profile is not attractive to all the sugar daddies up there. Please help

  106. Josh says:


    “Nigga, please.”

    Respect!!! Please don’t interfere with serious conversation. 🙁

  107. Josh says:


    No I wanted to know if it was nigger or nigga. As black people call each other nigga all the time, no?

  108. Jill says:

    @Josh @KennaKenna @SexyRockStar…Thank you for the feedback

  109. Soffia says:

    @josh yes I did, he liked the idea of black girls being slaves, licking his foot for money, depending how you use the term, it shouldn’t be used under any circumstance, period

  110. Josh says:



    He wanted to call you a Nigger or a Nigga?

  111. Nikki a.k.a.. "Very Classy" says:

    This blog tells the truth..!

  112. Nikki wright says:

    I love the blog..!

  113. Soffia says:


  114. Soffia says:


  115. sparkle says:

    also i want some feedback on my profile please

  116. sparkle says:

    hello “brown sugar” baby here and im super new to the site i was wondering if anyone could give me a few pointers on how all this works

  117. Krysti says:

    Could you give me some feedback on my profile. My photos are pending as well, but due to discretion they are private…


  118. Matt says:

    I’ve found reading this blog most informative. A lot of truth here and some misconceptions.
    In terms of race and the guys that say ‘white only’ sad for them! I say ‘no whites’ simply due to my experience. Yes I have and would possibly date a white woman but she would have to be very special and quite unique. Two reasons for this, mind set and as important, the feel of their skin. I am a man who loves to touch, feel the textures and different energy from my woman. Black, Asian, Indian, Hispanic (olive skinned girls) have a totally different and ‘velvet’ feel compared to a white woman.
    Also, as I love giving oral,,,,,,, the above woman traditionally WASH themselves after the loo. White woman use only toilet paper. Not good! (I trust I’m being as discreet as possible and am not ofending)
    Another factor, Asian and middle eastern woman are far more loyal than MUST white woman, I say MOST because both in my business world and private world I’ve found few who are loyal.
    Regarding ‘just wanting pussy’ yuk! Sure many guys are like that but why go to all the trouble here just to find sex? That csn be found on street corners or any cities newspapers. Personally I’m here to find the right match. In my busy schedule of constant travel this is difficult to say the least. I’m not into the bar girls or prostitute type at all. I want a woman who can travel with me who I can have fun with, have good conversation with, can share my world with, can mentor and share my life’s experience with, csn mentor and finally, enjoy deep and satisfying passion with. I don’t need a barbie doll to show off with, I don’t care what others think, but, she must be clean, attractive, well presented in public, without drama and enjoy the adventure that my type of life is.
    Regarding her rewards. Personally I have several people around the world that I assist financially because I see there needs and because they are good people deserving help. I have my self been dirt poor, living on the street so know well that without a hand up, it is virtually impossible to get back up. For my ‘sugarbaby’ initially I’ll help her with her daily needs and spoil her with gifts. When I know her mind and aspirations I’ll guide her and give her the assistance and contacts /knowledge to achieve her goals. Life is tough if you have the dreams but don’t have the means.
    Regarding conversation, ex bf’s or sugardaddys are of no interest to me. New page please girls. Talk about YOU, your life, your family, your dreams, your desires, your excitement. I find this very stimulating as I have a very active mind and love to hear how others think and see the world around them. I travel to a multitude of cultures and see the world through their eyes and have learnt much from all of them.
    Regarding pictures, have a mix of elegant, jeans or casual, bathing suit. (I don’t want to lay at the pool in dubai or Monaco etc with a lady who does not fit my ‘petite, attractive, slim’ attraction) . Sorry, no offence meant but big woman have no attractions for me. Any color. I also want to know that when I take you to a 1st class venue dressed in a $10,000 outfit that you can carry yourself and won’t be embarrassed by the rich and fake set thats prevalent in these places. You must be confident, daring and not ever think that they are better than you. Believe me, they all fart! I’ve dinner with royalty, nose picking village chiefs deep in Africa and men and women of huge power and influence. None are perfect!
    Speak your mind, don’t play the ‘hint hint’ game. Drives me nuts when people can’t be strait and open. Your hints will be ignored by most businessmen. We don’t have time for games when we relax. RELAX being the operative word. Trying to decifer what my companion is trying to say takes me right back to my business world of smoke screens and half truths. NO THANX!
    Don’t pretend. Most of us in the business world are successful because we see through Al the bs that of often a high % of every transaction.
    Be honest. Don’t lie. Study of body language is part of business in my world. I meet many many scammers and liars so I’ll know when you are telling the truth or a lie.
    Above all else, be yourself! Look at me/ your sugardaddys as firstly an older friend, usually very wise, as a man who has chosen you among many others BECAUSE. YOU ARE SPECIAL and because he likes YOU. Treat him with respect but do not revere him as some godly figure. (we get that in hotels, restaurants, staff meeting etc etc) I’m just a normal man with enough $’s to be secure and live outside of the world’s crazy fluctuations. Treat him as a older brother, lover and someone to have fun with. After all, when not working that’s what we want to do. Have fun!
    I hope this helps you ladies. Please feel free to contact me if you need to chat or need advice.

  119. Regarding categorizing…

    Want I really want to be taken from my comments is that you will be categorized whether you like it, know it or not. It is an unfortunate truth. Realize, though, that beneath the socially inscribed and projected categorization is also a neurological categorization linked to biological identifiers, adaptability, survival and self preservation. In short, we categorize essentially to have a handle on how to navigate our space and motivations in the presence of others.

    So, that you will be categorized is without question. How you will be categorized is more essential. The key to survival at large is adaptability. Versatility. This doesn’t mean abandon all that you are in an effort to appeal. You do, however, need to know how to navigate other realms, other spaces, other territories if you wish to survive and be successful within them.

    I think the problem with “basic” as it pertains to the *sterotypical* “average” black girl, is that it is not reflective of the average black girl at large. It is presumed that these stereotypical categories represent the majority of black women, and it’s not an accurate depiction. When I speak of categories, I am speaking of these stereotypes that put women at a disadvantage for survival outside of the realm to which they may have become accustomed. Ultimately, the average black woman that I know falls into none of those categories. It is the definition of average itself that has become convoluted, bastardized, marginalized and trampled upon when it comes to black women.

    The lady in the video link below captures the discourse in spoken word. I hope this helps explain, and brings about understanding a little better.


    Despite one’s versatility, there are some things that are concrete…things you can’t change about yourself. Race in terms of skin tone and physical attributes is one of them. If someone qualifies your worth merely based on attitudes projected onto a concrete attribute, then it’s probably not the type of person you want to associate with anyway. Please know, though, there may be some who might not be attracted to you regardless, and it has nothing to do with their perception of worth based on your race. Ultimately, people will like as they wish. It is my opinion, however, that trivial disqualifiers are to ones own disservice.

  120. @shun

    Your profile picture shows a youthful girl with a pretty face and nice smile. It’s a simple, clean look that’s sweet and inviting…even though it’s a car selfie. The other pics don’t capture you well. I think you could use a nice, full-length pic outdoors, and one with you in a nice, flirty dress. Your profile content needs some work. It is very generic, and not very enticing. I know it can be hard to write about yourself, especially within a realm that is new to you. Id say instead of thinking of it as talking *about* yourself…think of it as telling a story by speaking *through* yourself. Speak of who you are, what qualities attract you, and what you wish to share. Speak of how you wish to enrich his experiences. What are the things about you that a gentleman can look forward to? But take a minute to explore these things within yourself…yourself, your attributes, your desires and expectations, your prejudices and convictions, your ability and willingness to compromise (instead of being set on “no” and rigid limitations, think of how and in what ways you can yes in a situation that might be otherwise rewarding to both of you).

    Regarding categorization…

  121. Promise says:

    Hello, I’ve been reading through the comments, and you guys are a fun bunch.

  122. lils says:

    I am not a woman of colour but this is racist and offensive and gross.

  123. SexyRockstar says:

    Everyone, we stop checking on the blog once a new blog is posted. feel free to email me at


  124. Chloe says:

    This blog is pure bullshit. Bullshit to the 100th power.

  125. Lisa says:

    @sexyrockstar! Could we please trade emails?! I’ve been sitting here reading though your coments and you are a true guru! Like I am literally in awe! I’m new to this and would REALLY appreciate your expertise and advice. Lol

  126. Jessica says:

    Hm. I am not sure about the ‘Be drama free and don’t discuss issues’ comment.

    I wouldn’t ever discuss personal troubles with anybody unless I felt it appropriate BUT daddies I have had in the past have encouraged me to. They liked to help. It was part of what they were about.

    Obviously this doesn’t apply to every SB/SD relationship. But I wouldn’t say It’s an out and out ‘No no!’ either.

  127. Josh says:


    I think you’re wasting your time here. You are neither able to understand what “the josh guy” writes nor are able to write properly. Try backpage, maybe?

  128. littlemama says:

    Omg i just got on this site and have know clue what I’m doing I’ve never had a suger daddy before i haven’t paid to upgrade the site because idt anyone has even viewed my page lol but i can’t figure out how to get it to let me change what v i wrote on it and ways i had a rough year last year soi thought why not try it lol but i see that the josh guy has said the men on her just really want pussy and after seeing the amount of money to chose from i would say so but before I upgrade on the site can anyone tell me that they have met these men or even got money from them and please don’t laugh at me lol thank you

  129. Patrice says:

    What gets me is why do white men ask the “is that your real hair” question to black women and not other races? I know tons of white women that rock weaves, wigs, whatever, and they don’t get questioned, seems biased.
    Hair weaves to me can be just a form of expression as with makeup. I only wish women that who wear weaves and wigs make sure it looks sharp, not fuggly looking, I hate that.

  130. Tszaddi Josaiah says:

    I don’t think this site had gotten me anywhere and I don’t know how many guys I’ve reached out so far but so far 3 has responded. One guy we said a few words and that’s it. The second guy….same result….the third guy we actually had set a date to meet and everything but then he had a “sudden situation” so he did he would have to postpone and I didn’t hear from him again since. I’m very frustrated just wondering am I doing something wrong. Maybe because I’m black I don’t know lol but I been here since November and still nothing had happened….what to do?

  131. The Real Asia says:

    This article, as well as the comments were extremely helpful. As I am new to this site, I truly appreciate the opinions and past experiences.

  132. AllieCat says:

    very interesting article. I’ve been a part of the website for almost 2 years. Being a WOC on these websites can be a little challenging due to sterotypes

  133. DawlBaby says:

    I honestly didn’t even read this blog fully,I had to stop at the “ghetto fabulous” statement. I really feel like this article was a load of sh***t, pardon my french.

  134. Josh says:

    To new participants

    The regular bloggers who can respond to your questions or comments hang out on the latest blog article

  135. Naven says:

    I don’t understand how this solely speaks to black women.
    Cleary the author, doesn’t understand that every race has an underclass, or low class.

    Your understanding of black women comes solely from lack of knowledge or self hate.

    A true wise black woman is original, dependable, trustworthy, opinionated strong the list goes on.

    You clearly attempted to undermine black women.

    oh and BTW. “baby daddy”? This is a popular saying between low class women of many races.

    xoxo – Naveen

  136. Angelica says:

    @Sexyrockstar. I would like your help as well if you are willing to give it.

  137. Seaux says:

    Im so new to this whole thing. Any pointers for this (brown) Caribbean girl. Im from the NY tristate area. Is it to forward to message SD or should i wait.

  138. Chalease says:

    hi everyone! I’m new to this and the whole concept. Please help. I’m open to feedback @ member/e4b0d/view let me know what you think about my profile. I’ve always been interested in an older man who can shower me with gifts and help me financially when I need. Of course I’d provide an escape from his everyday life by being fun and adventurist and open to travel and trying new things.

  139. Kayah says:

    I am new to this and I am a brown sugar baby. Anyone who is experienced and willing to introduce me to this life style I am very excited,willing and looking forward to becoming a sugar baby.

  140. Candice says:

    Where I am located us Black Woman are a high commodity. So I don’t see a struggle for us to find an SD. I think because it is taboo maybe back home from where ever they are the SD’s want to experience us. I am mixed with Black and French/German. So I am a lot lighter than most. Although I see it all the time and hear that the SD has never been with a black woman and want that experience. We are different culturally. Which I am proud of!! I love the advice listed but I do think a lot of it can go for any race.

  141. Shey says:

    Oh my username is Shey96.

  142. Shey says:

    @SexyRockstar hey wanna take a look at my profile to see if it’s ok? I’m a new SB.

  143. Zandra says:

    Great blog. I’m new to this, & I’m not sure what exactly to expect. Should I send the first message or wait for someone to contact me? Not sure if these white men are into curvy brown sugar babies…

  144. Biaa says:

    We need your support @sexyrockstar 😛 good tips!

  145. innocentambition says:

    Hey @sexyrockstar would you mind giving me tips on my profile? I am new to SA and would like to set my profile up for success

  146. GoddessBrit says:

    Idc why it didn’t show my avatar I just used my site screen name instead @sexyrockstar

  147. Brit says:

    @sexyrockstar today is my second day on this site, I’m still a fairly new SB and I found your advice to be very helpful. If you have any time can you give me some pointers

  148. Shun4214 says:

    @josh those are all natural. Do they look fake?

  149. Jones01131 says:

    @Josh. Thank you. I will do so today!

  150. Nina says:

    Hi there, I see that I will be able to get my profile reviewed. I am also a brown sugar baby :), hook me up ladies and gents. Xxo

  151. Gabriella says:

    I AM A BROWN SUGAR BABY IN NEED OF HELP!!! I’ve literally been on this site for over a year and I have yet to meet a SD that I feel is legitimate. They seem to think I’m dumb and would just have sex with them with the promise of gifts or money after sex. I’m not attracting the right men, and since I’ve been a member only 4 men have messaged me. I feel that BSB’s are just not valued here. I’m curious is it my profile? My pictures? Am I ugly?

  152. Josh says:

    @Jones, your photos are horrible. Get photos taken outside with a lots of natural lights.

  153. Jones01131 says:

    Many thanks for the feedback. I will review and edit.

    @Guitar Goddess
    Thank you so much for your time, input and advice. Your positive attitude is soothing. Truly.

    Looking around the site and reading the profiles – there appear to be so many hoping for a genuine connection. It’s inspiring. Thank you everyone for being generous with your time and comments.

  154. @ALL why isn’t my avatar showing anymore, that’s weird…

  155. @YGTBKM Ok, all of your thoughts are duly noted. And, yeah I didn’t add the Japan part before because, again I was thinking about being more on business lol I kind of figured it would be something to be a pleasant surprise after I connected with someone but, I realize that those little special tid bits can be wining elements for sugar to put out there from the get go. But, yeah…it’s true was there from ‘97-’03 with my family and other military families. Its home to me, miss it everyday : >

    @Josh Yeah, @SexyRockStar has helped a lot, verifying and encouraging the energy I had been thinking that I needed to infuse into this pursuit for some months now….Funny you mentioned the picture with the guy lol I thought about that when I ran across it, decided to use, and when I looked at my revised profile the third time. Thought: What if I blur his face out like I did for one of the other pictures ?lol I wanted to put that up there to show I dance, and what it looks like when I do, a little incentive per se. Besides, I love that picture lol I think that’s a great angle for me ; >

    But, yeah…as well as @SexyRockstar, you and everyone else has been a great group think tank for me and my profile (@YGTBKM, @KennaKenna, @JoeF, @FlyR, @THEATLSD, @ss1959, @FunDude, and even @DazedSD and @FunDude) Once I realized it’s ok to let go go a bit and add the friendly flirty side to me on top of my intelligence and aspirations, it just clicked and flowed.

  156. resop2 says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD: Exactly. Not only in some areas the total SB pool isn’t very big, but the active SB pool is a lot smaller and the desirable active SB pool is almost non-existent.

  157. Josh says:


    Are your boobs natural or expensive?

  158. Lainey says:

    I love @YGBKM so much that I hate her! *drops Mic*

  159. Miss. Ruby says:

    I’ve been on the site for about a week and haven’t had one response. Is it weird for me to contact the man?

  160. Shun4214 says:

    @ygbkm I read your thoughts on chocolate sb and I’m curious what category I would fall into. member/e58b3827/view Also if you see something that I could change or do better I would appreciate any advice you have to offer. @theatlsd gave me a few pointers and I cha them the best way I knew how

  161. Keeping the relevance of these comments:

    “”KennaKenna says:
    February 10, 2015 at 4:11 pm
    @YGBKM I am curious since you give alot of advice to new SBs coming to the blog, I just want to know where this advice is coming from.

    The “basic” SBs do great with men in the top 1% because they blend in and are not easily noticed. It all depends on the SD.”


    No worries, lady. Your clear lack of understanding of modern terminology is excused.

    I actually gave a basic (more amicable, perhaps) description. But here…please allow Urb*n D*ctionary to enlighten you. Then, if you really want to take it all in…revisit my post, and apply it to the profiles that have been posted.

    I’m not here for gratitude, but you’re welcome.

    “BASIC B*TCH: Someone who is unflinchingly upholding of the status quo and stereotypes of their gender without even realizing it. She engages in typical, unoriginal behaviors, modes of dress, speech, and likes. She is tragically/laughably unaware of her utter lack of specialness and intrigue. She believers herself to be unique, fly, amazing, and a complete catch, when really she is boring, painfully normal, and par. She believes her experiences to be crazy, wild, and different or somehow more special than everything that everybody else is doing, when really, almost everyone is doing or has done the exact same thing. She is typical and a dime a dozen. There are many subtypes of basicness, such as the basic ratchet, the basic sorority b*tch, the basic groupie b*tch, the basic I’m-so-Carrie-from-Sex-and-the-C*ty b*tch, etc, but ultimately, they all share the common thread of being expendable and unnoteworthy and, in some cases, having absolutely no redeeming qualities.
    “I’ve gotta get to Holl*ster and Bath and Body works for the third time this week, the just announced a new sale! I just don’t know how I’ll ever fit in that mani-pedi with Amanda and Brittney today. Ugh, I’m just going to call in sick with my period. I need a Pumpkin Spice latte or a C*smo right now, I can’t handle this pressure. Can we go to Appl*bee’s for dinner tonight? …Ooh, the new Shia Labeouf movie! LOVE HIM!” – basic b*tch inner monologue”

  162. Josh says:


    Your profile has improved a lot. Did @Sexy help you?

    Get rid of the photo with the guy.

  163. Josh says:

    @flyR the pimp does have a good advice there. 😉

  164. @Kenna

    That’s actually 3 questions ;p.

    I’ll first answer your questions with a question. Why do you ask?

  165. FLYR says:

    @BOT – I think the dangerous assumption is that most all interested in sugar will be on SA. There are lots of other sugar avenues. Over the years of interviewing admn assistants I have had a number suggest that if I was not going to offer them a job in the firm perhaps there was something else we could do as friends.

    A friend has initiated several sugar relationships with the simple comment – it is a shame you have to be in here (a food establishment in Malibu) while all your friends are at the beach. I think the takeaway is that most women are much more comfortable with a “if we were friends you could have (or accomplish) this” discussion rather than $/visit, just a thought .

  166. FatB'StardSA Proxy says:


    “including servers who are being paid and are required to be friendly to you”

    Interesting objection. It is wrong to offer a woman payment to be friendly to a SD because she is already being paid to be friendly to the SD by Starbucks.

  167. FatB'StardSA Proxy says:


    “The concept was a gift card and a note suggesting a sugar or spoiling relationship to a random stranger, including servers who are being paid and are required to be friendly to you.”

    Handing out gift cards to “random” strangers was your interpretation.

  168. CookieBot says:

    @Online – I’m didn’t comment on your budget, exploitation, or your mad pickup skills. But whatever, hope it works out for the benefit of all.

    Moving on. Here’s something you’ll enjoy. You like numbers. A while ago, I calculated what percentage of women in my metropolitan area had signed up with SA, kind of to get a feel for how likely it might be to run into an SA person in real life. I didn’t have great data, because metro areas don’t line up with SA searches well, but I did some good-enough approximations. I focused just on the 18 to 30 year old single female population, since those are the prime years for sugar participation. I didn’t exclude inactives, either, which pumped the percentage because I was counting from the beginning of SA time. In the target population, a bit less than one half of one percent had ever created an SA account. Again, the data is just an approximation, but I figure roughly 1 in 200 18 to 30 year old single women in my progressive east coast metro ever considered sugar dating seriously enough to create an SA account. Make of that what you will.

  169. KennaKenna says:


    I have 2 questions and I really hope you don’t take them the wrong way. How many successful sugar relationships have you been in? Have you ever met a SD/SM on SA and maintained a long term relationship with him/her? How long is long?

  170. Josh says:


    “@sexyrockstar and @kennakenna you MADE this thread! i would love some advice on my profile. Sexy, I already emailed you but I wanted to post here just to show love because I really enjoyed reading all this. All the best~

    Arn’t you are sweetheart. Gratitude goes a long way. 🙂

  171. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Cookie – I’m sorry you can’t draw the correlation between these telly similar circumstances, because we were never really talking about standing outside a Starbucks and handing the hotties that worked there or walked in a card with “I’ve got cash, let’s fuck” written on it like you suggested. Maybe on the other blog someone has talked about where they exchange ways to exploit women for little cash outlay, but not with this conversation. You may be done but that’s just because we’re calling you on the bullshit you’re shoveling!

  172. CookieBot says:

    @Fat @Online – The concept was a gift card and a note suggesting a sugar or spoiling relationship to a random stranger, including servers who are being paid and are required to be friendly to you. A lot different than a drink and conversation in a bar. Very different from someone you chat up at a conference. Completely different from someone on an arrangement site who is already in the game or close to it.

    It’s like talking to a rock though. Go ahead and have fun with that, guys. I’m done with this topic. Be sure to share your stories.

  173. “SouthernSB says:
    February 10, 2015 at 12:11 pm
    @Lainey-What about us black SBs make you say Ugh?
    @yougotta-What are the two stereotypes do we fall into?”

    Those are good questions, Southern. I can see how Lainey’s comment raises an eyebrow. I can share what I gathered, but I could be wrong. I wouldn’t think that she would be repulsed by black sugar babies just for the race of it. As it pertains to her “ugh” comment, I gathered that she found the portrayal of black SBs in profiles she’d come across to be off putting. Again, I could be wrong.

    As for my comment…

    Please let’s revisit what I wrote.

    “I haven’t done any searches of SB profiles lately, but it seems that most who post about having a hard time are black SBs…many of whom fall into two stereotypical categories.”

    Your question, “What two categories do ‘we’ fall into?” is a generalization. My statement was not a generalization about black SBs. It was, and still is, a statement about “many” (not all) of the SBs “who post about having a hard time”. The two categories that many have fallen into are 1)diva, glam, vixen and 2)basic. Both categories can apply trans-racially, but are especially detrimental to black and minority SBs.

    Diva, glam, vixen is over the top, trying too hard in all the wrong ways. This category has hope and potential if toned down and pruned.

    The”basic” category. Those in this category are typical generic girls who lack the umph to set themselves apart. With some sprucing, there is potential for those in this category.

    There is also a third category and a fourth category as well. The third category is the “terminally ratchet” category. Terminally ratchet…these girls are total trainwreck hot messes. This category requires a decade of intensive residential rehabilitation and sugar training in complete isolation from external influences. Essentially, these are terminal cases with great odds against success. The only real hope is a miracle.

    The fourth category, Id say, is the “ready to go”, or “most of the way there” category. Those in this category have the best chances at successful sugar. I think that all except for the “terminally ratchet” category can reach this point in a short time if the guidance and effort are there. Hence my earlier statement…

    “I think it’s rather disappointing that SA doesn’t have more of a tutorial for profile building. It’s really unfortunate for girls who might have some potential if they had a better grasp of the concept. Maybe a SexyRockstar revamp of sorts could be incorporated into the upgraded membership process or something. I think I remember seeing that they are planning to offer SB support on PA, but I think this site is in dire need of that service.”

    If I may share, Southern (merely for perspective), a blogger’s recent critique of your profile (as it would apply to these categories) put you in the basic category. Somehow I remember a comment suggesting that you unleash your inner tigress or something.

    Again, these are categories that anyone can fall into, and I think that there is potential for those who don’t fall into the terminal category, but I think it creates a bigger challenge when the category is coupled with minority status.

  174. FlyBoy says:

    Hello everyone 🙂

    Been lurking for a while, will wait until I get through moderation to start posting. Looking forward to interacting with you all.

    PS: No, I’m not one of Josh’s proxies .. lol

  175. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Cookie – just to clarify…my approach IRL in the past was 3:8…one affair for the duration of three separate industry events with a married newbie to the industry, one referral source from a cross-industry networking event, single (but dating someone) where we got together at least once a week for nearly six months, the third from a cross-industry networking meeting where she was between jobs and ended up a kept woman for nearly three years. NEVER a bad interaction, even with married or dating women…they took the approach as a compliment and declined graciously.

    All but the beligerant can sniff out the bitch from across the room and avoid her!

  176. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @FatB – EXACTLY! And if you look for a ring and keep to the one’s without you should be able to avoid all but the truly D-Bag guys that might want to be confrontational. Those are the gamer projects that might even encourage get so they can continue in their ladles ways and only have to pump out their hottie to live comfortable on their couch with the proceeds of the gf’s efforts!

    If the bitch takes a subtle gesture like a thoughtful note and small token as a problem she is already batshit crazy!

  177. FatB'StardSA Proxy says:


    “@Online — So, you think your conversion rate is going to be 1 in ten, maybe?”

    A conversion rate of 1 in 10 is bad for you?

    “What are the other nine women thinking about the stranger who walked up to them with a wink and a leer, gave them a monetary gift, and a note indirectly soliciting them?”

    I did not realize giving someone a gift card was considered soliciting. Do you go to jail for buying a woman a drink in a bar or coffee shop as well?

    “I’m sure their husbands and boyfriends will be thrilled with your generosity, too. They might even thank you in person.”

    Have you ever asked anyone out IRL?

    As far as I know there is no law against a man of any age to ask a woman of legal age out on a date, or to offer her a gift. I am sure that many women would like a law to be passed where only “hot” guys can talk to them but that has not happened yet.

  178. keema says:

    Of course I forgot to include my ID number: ef522bcc .

  179. keema says:

    I’d greatly appreciate help with my profile, please– especially from SexyRocker. I know I need to get better pictures, but is there anything else I should change? Thank you in advance.

  180. yvette says:

    @sexyrockstar and @kennakenna you MADE this thread! i would love some advice on my profile. Sexy, I already emailed you but I wanted to post here just to show love because I really enjoyed reading all this. All the best~

  181. Dazed-SD says:

    @online,, they look that way and expect even a young professional SD would go out in public with them,,crazy shit man

  182. ““I’ve been buried in a story all day today, I’d like to make sure you get to enjoy a story of your own” and just contact information on the other side of the card…”

    I think Id smile at that :).

    I’m a sucker for thoughtful gestures.

    So, yeah. Id tread subtly on mention of spoiling, too. I think if the gesture could be taken as an approach that a guy would take in courting a girl in a non-sugar arrangement, then you might not need bail money.

    I have received notes on several different occasions. One was actually left on my car window. That one kind of weirded me out because I didn’t see who left it. He’d inquired about buying my car, and taking me on a date. I didn’t call for either inquiry. Could’ve missed the boat on sugar gold…ha.

    Another was from a guy who worked at a restaurant where I was eating. He was like 18 and 1 day old. It was cute. I thanked him for the sweet note, and told him I had a boyfriend.

    One was from a handsome guy at a banquet. It was a sly exchange. I called him, and we dated for about 6 months.

    The strangest was from a guy who wrote that my feet were beautiful. Did not call him.

    Most recently, a client gave her contact info to one of my colleagues. Said she knows someone I might be interested in. I was a little disappointed with my colleague because he didn’t ask for any juicy details about this man. I do intend to follow up.

    I think that it’s endearing (flattering even) to receive notes of interest, even if it’s from someone for whom you’ve no particular interest. In worst case situations, you can either politely decline, or simply not return the inquiry.

  183. CookieBot says:

    @Online — So, you think your conversion rate is going to be 1 in ten, maybe? Cool. What are the other nine women thinking about the stranger who walked up to them with a wink and a leer, gave them a monetary gift, and a note indirectly soliciting them? “Oh, he’s wearing a suit, so this is totally ok.” I’m sure their husbands and boyfriends will be thrilled with your generosity, too. They might even thank you in person.

    @ATL – Yep, the fake name and phone number (linked to your cell) is foolproof. What could possibly go wrong?

  184. SouthernSB says:

    @Lainey-What about us black SBs make you say Ugh?
    @yougotta-What are the two stereotypes do we fall into?
    I don’t think I am having a lot of problems finding a SD because I am black, I think I am having trouble because of my location and because I am not in the age demographic that SA markets to.
    @ONSD-LOVE your advice on searching, I’ll try that, maybe I’ll have better luck that way.

  185. Len says:

    @KennaKenna can you give me some advice please im very new.


  186. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL – hahahaha “melting those POT SB’s”

    I hear ya, bro! I actually love it when I get my “Barry White” voice…although it is usually accompanied by coughing and sneezing, it is so silky smooth 😉

  187. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    * That’s a BUT in the middle, not a BUY…damn small editing windows!

  188. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Cookie – I take that back…you’re not smokin’ somethin’…because it depends on the PERSON doing the approach. The 80+yo SD using a walker at the campus coffee shop is NOT going to be well received and Campus Security will be escorting him away…BUY…a 30-60yo SD, professional appearance, maybe even mistaken for a professor or a non-traditional student could easily approach a younger co-ed or waitress at an establishment that caters to business professionals and hand her a card with a brief comment and there would be no further thought about it from ANYONE…patrons would think it was an extra tip or comment to the management…staff would think similarly (but might push for answers in the break room)…could very easily be a win-win-win!

  189. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – see, I’m MUCH more partial to being able to play simultaneously…not as much fun to just receive 😉

  190. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Cookie – how do you think people got into arrangements before SA, or the internet in general? It was through personal interactions…if you think that would put someone in jail/illegality now I KNOW you’re smokin’ somethin’!

    Maybe the B&N giftcard with @YGBKM’s two liner concept:

    “I’ve been buried in a story all day today, I’d like to make sure you get to enjoy a story of your own” and just contact information on the other side of the card…

  191. THEATLSD says:

    DITTO what ONSD said. No real names. Hell my current POT doesn’t know my real and we are on date 5. Plus with my deep voice and smooth operator style I will just end up melting those POT SB’s. They will probably start playing with themselves right there.

    @y love it. see what a little evil brainstorming can accomplish.

  192. CookieBot says:

    @YGBKM, you’re sweet.

    @Online, you’re nuts, IMHO, but good luck and godspeed. Ask your lawyer to tell us how it went.

  193. Lainey says:

    @ONSD yea he is. Lucky for me I’m a croucher not a kneeler. I hate when girls have discolored knees lol

  194. @online

    I gathered that it would be a situation that youve scoped out.

    Also, I think the StarBucks girl from the profile you mention would be more receptive to the approach. You should consider a gift card from somewhere else though.

  195. SexyRockstar says:

    I am pretttyyyy sure my youngest got me sick. Wah.

    I will be with Drummer tonight. YAY!

    There have been some new sugar daddies lately. Now…I am going to use the term sugar daddy very…nicely. LOL. I seen 5 profiles that stated their income was 75K a year. One messaged me…this was our conversation.

    POT: My god you are beautiful. How many tattoos do you have?

    Me: Thanks. I have 11. I am thinking my of next one. They tend to be addicting.

    POT: I’ve never seen inside a tattoo shop. What does it take for a guy like me to have a girl like you show me?

    Me: Aw, they are fun inside. As much as I appreciate the offer, I looked at your profile. You seem very nice, but due to your income..I’d hate to be seen as an expense rather an added value in your life. Best of luck in your search! If you ever need tattoo advice, I’m here for you.

    POT: Wow, money hungry bitch. You’re just like every other escort hooker on here.

    Me: Yes, I am a money hungry bitch <3 You're just like every other broke dude I don't look at <3

  196. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – hahahaha what a lucky man!

  197. Lainey says:

    My man is having such a stressful week. Needless to say, my jaw hurts

  198. ATL,

    Also, you might not want to use “sugar daddy” in your one liner. It might be off-putting to someone who has an inaccurate concept of what it means. You could be mistaken for a pimp or trafficker and reported to authorities. I think a business card with “SUGAR DADDY” printed on the back screams fur coat 80’s daddy who’s out looking for team players. Also, do not wear alligator skin shoes during your recruitment mission. I think that a short two-liner would be great. The first line…an observation about her that appealed to you, followed by the second line, “Id love to spoil you” in some variation.

    So think:

    “Wow…ocean blue eyes. Id love to spoil you.”

    “I love a studious lady. You should let me spoil you.”

    “I could use a new pair of RayBan’s. Let’s go shopping.”

    Just some thoughts.

  199. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    * I meant their best Joey impersonation with a smile and “How You Doin’?”

  200. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Cookie – You’d be surprised how the conversation turns when you’re “on the prowl”

    If someone in their SA profile says, “I work at Starbucks on campus” (not a direct quote from the profile I’ve identified previously)…she’s INVITING people to drop by and pull their best “Joey” impersonation with the SD smile and “Hey”…

    And if you believe FOR A SECOND I’m giving someone (even someone I’ve scheduled a meeting with) from SA my REAL NAME…you’re smokin’ somethin’. It would have my pseudonym, with my private SD email address that supports that pseudonym, my Hushed (untrackable) number (if I thought I wanted to be that forward), and it wouldn’t be ANYTHING like “are you looking for someone to fuck for money…if so…I’m here babe” on the card…you MUST have style and sophistication.

    I’ve met lovers/mistresses in real life, at industry or cross-industry networking events…married and single…and had relationships with a few that lasted…a couple I still talk to!

    This is not for that type of situation…this is for that waitress or hostess at the restaurant you might frequent, or the coffee shop you like to get some work done with when you’re not in the office. It’s meant to be used AFTER you have made some eye contact and even probably seen her glancing across the room at you while you work…THAT’S when you walk over before you leave and say something like, “I just had to say thank you for another wonderful time today…If you had ANY interest, I think it would be wonderful to get to know each other outside this place”…the “business card” says something like, “Life Coach”, “Career Mentor”, “Benefactor”, etc. It CERTAINLY doesn’t say “I’ve got cash, if you’ve got your legs open”…

    I think both @ATL and I have established we’re more gentlemen than that!

  201. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Y – B&N is a great suggestion! You may have found the perfect option for even the Starbucks opportunity! Then, if they want to get AWAY from work for something personal, you’ve given them the opportunity.

    You’re probably right about the $25 amount to…your point about mass marketing versus too showy is spot on!

  202. CookieBot says:

    Re this gift card plan, no no no NO. You’re going to walk up to random young women on the street or in a cafe (who are complete strangers), give them something of monetary value, a business card with your actual name and phone number, and a little note essentially saying that you’d like to fuck them for money? Even if you limit it to women who you recognize from SA (who you have stalked and tracked down in real life), this is the creepiest idea ever. Have your defense lawyers ready.

  203. “FatB’StardSA Proxy says:
    February 10, 2015 at 10:14 am

    I just wanted you to know I have admired you for a long time. I really love your posts, so insightful and witty! If you are looking for a SD give me a chance ;-).”

    “FatB’stard SA Proxy”? Interesting.

    I’m not sure where you’re headed with that, but please spare me your alignment with the proxy brigade.

  204. ATL,

    I think that $25 is a good gift card amount for your intended purpose. Ten dollars is too little, and might be quickly dismissed. It gives a feel of generic and mass-produced, maybe. Id give $10 away without a thought. A $25 give-away, Id have to consider more. I think that $25 is more of a gesture, and reaches into the territory of genuine interest and deliberate investment in something you think is worth it to risk “throwing away the money”. Anything more than that would be too much for the StarBucks recruitment approach, I think.

    Considering this approach, you might try Barnes and Noble as well. Id actually rather a gift card to Barnes and Noble. It can be used for textbooks, work related or recreational reading, and the in-store cafe as well.

  205. PimpinSD says:

    “If you are looking for a SD give me a chance ;-).”

    Nope I seen her first. You get sloppy seconds

  206. FatB'StardSA Proxy says:


    I just wanted you to know I have admired you for a long time. I really love your posts, so insightful and witty! If you are looking for a SD give me a chance ;-).

  207. @Josh and cronies

    You are constantly using shaming language towards men on blog who do not share your opinion. My use of your own popular terminology “in quotes” was calling you out on your own hypocrisy and idiocy.


    Take a minute to reflect, bring yourself up to speed (it usually takes you a while), and then retire your moot argument. You’re embarrassing yourself.

  208. Toni,

    Your pictures are so much better. Your natural esthetic is more evident, and you look fresher and more youthful. Your profile picture is lovely. It shows your facial highlights without the distraction. You have a really great smile, and nice cheek bones. It really works for you. The pic of you in jeans is versatile with enough chic…it paints the picture that you could wing just about any date from causal to upscale-casual. I know you mentioned that you don’t have many dresses or nice clutches, but I think a photo of you in a nice cocktail dress that isn’t too revealing would polish out your photos well.

    Austin is probably the most versatile city in your region. I think you have a look that many would go for when youre in a more natural state.

    I did a little research, and it looks like there are some good second hand shops in Austin to find nice, affordable clothes and accessories. Here are a couple of links.



    There is a Plato’s Closet in my city, and Ive been able to find nice, affordable clothes there. It’s a good place to go in a pinch. On my last visit they were having a 70% off clearance sale. On top of that, they are running a seasonal promotion for an additional 10% off because the temperature was below 20 degrees Fahrenheit. Total win!

    Your written content is better as well. It gives a better sense of who you are, and your appealing interests. The subtle teases in your mention of burlesque, and Chuck-Cheese even (if you choose to keep it), are fun and playful. Overall, your profile leaves something’s to be discovered and inquired about by an interested potential.

    Over time you will get a better feel for making your profile flow…making it speak for you, directly to those who appeal to you. I think it’s at a better place now…definitely at a place where potentials won’t immediately pass you over. I think it’s at a place where they’d actually take the time to read your profile, and consider you. I would suggest rewording bullets 4,6&7 under “What I’m looking for”. I would avoid using NSA, and would also avoid statements about providing for your needs and spoiling. These things are given (understood, and anticipated) by a quality benefactor. Use instead a statement that appeals and applies directly to him. Keep in mind, each line is like a brush stroke in a painting. Each line should flow well in painting the overall picture.

    The picture that’s painted now is starkly different from the one you’d previously painted, and I get a sense that the current picture is a more accurate portrayal.

    I hope this helps, Toni.

  209. @Pimpin

    Thank you, dear.


    How long after Ive stopped replying to you will you continue to push your agenda? It’s your world, sweets.

  210. FunDude says:


    She has no relevancy to this blog at all. Her opinions are borderline retarded. I have yet to hear any coherent statements from her besides typical feminist shaming language.

    Due to the knowledge of feminist shaming language tactics, she really lacks any further tactics to “impose her will” on men. She is a one trick pony that doesn’t know what else to do.

    She definitely can’t win through coherent debates and logical thoughts. That is a no go for her.

  211. Ladyscarlett says:

    Don’t be a meanie to ygbkm pimpinSD Josh 😉

  212. PimpinSD says:


    My love, Sorry to debunk your conspiracy theory, but I am not somebody‘s “proxy”. I have just developed an infatuation with your ‘crazy bitch’ persona and find your rants to be laughably entertaining sometimes(unlike Josh). My juvenile behavior helps fuel this persona, because without that “crazy bitch” your relevancy on this blog is greatly diminished.

  213. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @FunDude – just reran the numbers on my 50-mile search (interested because the SA Marketing machine has gotten me about 6 messages today, less than a week after my membership expired)…

    50-miles from desired location…only excluding Full/Overweight in body type and excluding Substantial and High Expectation levels:
    854 total SBs
    74 active within the last day
    156 active within the last week (an added 82 profiles from above activity level)

    It is not a daunting list to sort through, but tiresome to read with the errors and issues…it’s too bad you can’t search for “collage” as an elimination criteria!

    And what the HELL is up with the face piercings? I was nearly ill with a profile pic with three hoops around her lower lip, the one in the center of the nose, and a line of them up one ear, with two or three hoops dangling through a gauge…I guess it’s different strokes for different folks, but that’s not going to fly with a professional SD for a public meet!

  214. Josh says:


    I think you’re gonna need to up the ante on that gift card.”

    How about a $1,000,000 gift card then?

    Do they make a million dollar gift card for women who have read comments on a few old SA blogs from 1-3 years ago?

  215. Josh says:


    The reason I go back and forth is to show again and yet again that “communication” with women is a futile exercise of engaging in “circular logic.”

    Women insist on communication because that’s how they “tame” their respective men. 😉

    I will write more about “honesty” and “communication” which exist in almost all profiles, and are two of the prime techniques of controlling men. 😉

  216. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Y & @ATL – Let me clarify…if it was to the worker I saw on SA, and reached out to me (when I’m not paying to be able to return the message) I would think a $10 card would be enough, since it’s not about the card, it’s about the “business card” I would be giving her WITH that gift card.

    But, that’s a great question to the IRL SBs on blog…if someone approached you with the concept like @ATL suggests, what would be the “magic” amount you would think to consider contacting this gentleman?

  217. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @YGBKM – If it’s to the worker AT the Starbucks, I wouldn’t do more than the $10 card…but that was my thought in taking things to added audiences…especially if @ATL can negotiate a deal with that shoe place he enjoys 😉

  218. THEATLSD says:

    I was thinking that, but I had to start somewhere. It was more of the point not the amount. Would $25.00 work? there is a point of diminishing return.

  219. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL – bro, you might be on to a HUGE idea here…you could even use that strategy at the upscale place you eat business lunch (since sometimes they have better looking wait staff), or at the Breastaraunt you enjoy…just use the online shoe shop you already use or something upscale as the giftcard…


    I’ve been in contact with both my opportunities about scheduling, looking at probably next week for a more definitive decision-making meeting…although, with the frequency so far, I may just keep them both so I’ve got something to look forward to each week (since it looks like it’s going to be an every-other or so schedule with each of these)…not ideal for the way I have done things in the past, but if that’s what it takes, that’s what it takes!

  220. @ATL

    I think you’re gonna need to up the ante on that gift card.

  221. FunDude says:


    Good analysis

    @ ATL

    You mad bro?


    Female shaming tactics are losing their steam. Sandman is good

    Luimarco is very good on MGTOW concepts. Watch him. I also subscribe to AVFM, Chapin’s Inferno, etc.

  222. I haven’t done any searches of SB profiles lately, but it seems that most who post about having a hard time are black SBs…many of whom fall into two stereotypical categories.

  223. THEATLSD says:

    I did not know this until told by the mysterious Ladyscarlett that AshMad started as a sugar site but lost it’s way like most of these site. Just like POF started as a christian meeting site. The double profiles also amazed me, especially if they have married on AshMad and single or divorced on SA. Some of those women just want a big ol’ piece of black meat.

    Going back to the Starbucks initiative. I though of something this morning. Buy a $10.00 Starbucks gift card. Make up a business card with just your email on and one line stating. Sugardaddy or some kind of implication you are a looking for a sugar baby. When you see one you recognize, hand her the cards and say something like. “I like to pay things forward, this is for you. Have a great day.” Then give a huge Big sugar daddy smile and walk out of the store. May take a few but I would think one of the girls would get it and be interested. Plus they know what you look like and will seem genuine.

  224. @online

    Ha! Can’t think of better key words to search ;p.

  225. “Josh says:
    February 10, 2015 at 8:03 am

    I have noted probed into anyone else’s life either. Whose life were you talking about sweetheart?”

    I’m not going to mention who, Josh.

    1) Because I know that you know what I’m talking about.

    2) Because I’m not in the business of name dropping, and drawing others into your tactical manipulation nor my defense. I am speaking directly to you in stating that I think it was pretty low. Cowardly attempt at undermining to inflate your position.

    3) I’m over it. Tame your proxies.

  226. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL – hahahahaha…that’s great…probably true in more places than yours! In my time on AM, I saw significant white females profiles in search of minority guys (including Hispanic and AA)…most of those profiles never mentioned the SB/SD in details!

    In fact, I had one profile I saw on AM that listed Caucasian as well as AA and Hispanic as desired races…no mention of SB/SD in profile details…did not return my message there…when I joined SA, she contacted me before I could even find her in a search, obvious by pics and text it was a cut-and-paste profile at both places…just laughed…called her out in the return message on SA and she went batshit crazy!

  227. Speaking of your newly held stance on human rights, and objection of shaming (which you readily use at your own whim)…

    Never mind.

    You really need new material.

  228. THEATLSD says:


    40-50 percent of my hits/messages/request are black SB’s. I realize it has to do with were I live. I get the notification in my email with no picture and I can pretty much tell it’s a black/mix girl just from their name.

    A number of them have something like, “I prefer white SD”, something about us crackers they like. Though the Black guys can go to AshMad and get all the free white sugar they want for free.

  229. Josh says:

    *not probed…

  230. Josh says:


    I have noted probed into anyone else’s life either. Whose life were you talking about sweetheart?

  231. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @flyR – I do have my searches saved…by Expectation Level, 50-mile radius…don’t sort for body type or smoking habits or race, just “RAW, UNCUT PUSSY” as @YGBKM would call it 😉

    I never scroll past people who have not been online for more than a week…and if I’m interested in a profile and see she’s not been online in 5 days and her profile was created 4-5 days ago, I don’t even read the profile, because it was probably a join and vanish profile, or a fake. Sorting by Most Recent Login does mean if someone has been in an arrangement and decides to end things (or look for something different/better) they will appear and I will be able to view them.

    To clear things up…I DID spend a LOT of time bitching about the quality of profiles on SA. To pay a membership and see that reality is in stark contrast to the marketing of the membership was disappointing and I was lashing out…THEN, I spent time opening my search criteria, meeting only after confirmations are received and with a wider selection of pots (everything from 18yo co-ed to 48yo divorced waitress, non-smoker to barely breathe in her presence smoker, twig to full figure, etc.) It meant a LOT of coffee, great conversation, and better BS Radar…now…I have two that I’m working with, I do feel I’ve found success on SA…that’s why I’ve talked about the search in the past as well.

    You have to know your numbers to get some perspective on your real chances at success!

    THAT’S where I think some of the blog questions from SBs can be nipped quickly. Maybe, in addition to asking the type of SD they want to attract, we should ask for the RAW NUMBERS of SDs in their vicinity (or the vicinity of their target location)?

    If someone is coming to the blog to ask for help, but there’s only 50 SDs within 100 miles they would consider an arrangement with and less than 10 active in the last month…what are the odds she is going to connect with someone quickly?

    For the SDs who bitch about the SB pool (and I’m one of them!) let’s ask the RAW NUMBERS of potential in the target vicinity…if there’s only 50 pots that meet the criteria, and 10 active in the last month…what are the odds?

    Does that make sense? I think we’ve been sharing the SAME type of information…I’m supporting your argument to a refined search and selection criteria to have success…HOWEVER…it gets VERY frustrating when you have your target market search producing results that are all “collage”, “fatty”, “fugly”, “ghetto”, or whatever else you consider “undesirable”. That’s where some of us SDs are voicing frustration. EVEN WITH a selective search and a target audience, the profiles are killing the desire to connect!

  232. THEATLSD says:


    I think your updates took effect. I never saw your first profile but what is on there now looks good to me. Since you are in Texas, you may want to put in there you love COWBOYS. Those Cowboys are whole different breed and they usually have good disposable income!!!

  233. Lainey says:

    I know this is probably the wrong blog topic to say it on but be the looks of those needing profile help, all I can think is: “UGH so many black SBs! SA really is saturated!”

  234. “Josh says:
    February 9, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    Which one is in your mind still?

    1. @Josh = @FunDude.
    2. @Josh = @PimpinSD.
    3. All of the above.”

    Im most certain that you directed the conversation to proxies.

    Please, Josh. I don’t understand your fascination. I mean I get perhaps you’re trying your hand at discovering your creative genius. For whatever it’s worth, you’re not doing too bad, as you’ve managed to fool a lot of people. I happen to know better. Acknowledge that to yourself.

  235. Josh says:

    Clarification…I did not take a formal “course” on female shaming techniques. I recently watched a bunch of MGTOW videos made by someone known as Sandman. He sounds gay…I don’t think he’s gay though but knows how women roll.

  236. MaggieS says:

    hey guys! how are the bets today???

  237. “And I don’t think that I have probed into your life AT ALL.”

    I wasn’t talking about my life :).

    And the quotes…your own words, hypocrite, spin artist.

  238. Josh says:


    It takes idiots longer to learn than non-idiots.

  239. THEATLSD says:

    FatB’StardSA says:

    “You must be the only (according to you) good looking, fit, rich, single and young (about 35) doctor who has ever had a hard time finding a SB on SA. Your situation does not make sense unless you are a fake persona.”

    FatB’Sard, if he is real even the dumbest SB is going see him for what he is. A women hating arrogant prick, who can’t get over the fact that women won’t worship him because of his title and money.

    As my first SB stated: Just because you drive a Mercedes does not mean you have class. (She was loving my pick up truck)

  240. Josh says:

    Oops. I think it should’ve been “man up”.

    As far a quotations, is that all you came up with in response? Tsk tsk. I think that you’re smater than that.

    And I don’t think that I have probed into your life AT ALL. All of my comments are squarely related to what you’ve posted on the blog (hogwash aka nonsense aka cowshit), notably about your months-long pastime of accusing me of maintaining proxies on the blog, which I don’t.

  241. Pimpin,

    I think your fur coat is bogging you down. Take it to the cleaners, give it a rest.

  242. gtt_envy says:

    Actually agree with some of the SB haters that post here after this weekend. I think the general populous of SB’s accounts have become escorts or entitled princesses. As in “Hey Hun, I’m ready to be spoiled are you free tonight? Say 8pm-10pm?” or the flip side “You seem sweet, I’m looking for $1000 a date!”

    Maybe after 18 SB’s I’m just bored IDK and have become desensitized to this life and need a new hobby.

  243. THEATLSD says:

    The two worst profiles are long and never ending narratives or too short. Those are both red flags and real SD with blow by them. You need more in there, you really have nothing to say about yourself.

    Under occupation change the “ask” to something real. SD’s are going to think your an escort.

    You are in Japan so what are you looking for a Japanese business man or American military. You are in a unique place take advantage of that and make sure you know your market.

  244. Please note the quotations, genius.

  245. Josh says:


    The “men up” shaming technique had stopped working on me a long time ago. Then I took a refresher course on shaming hogwash aka nonsense aka cowshit and realized that now there are lot more of us who don’t give shit about females’ and manginas’ shaming technique.

    Now “human-up” could be a non-gender shaming technique in appropriate circumstances, but “man up” only works on idiots.

    Don’t worry @flyR is going to give you some mangina support soon. 😉

  246. PimpinSD says:

    Going in hard on Josh this morning. I think you’re in need of some rest from logging these long hours on the blog.

  247. flyR says:

    “”But, @flyR, that’s also a source of the frustration from a SD’s perspective…I’m ALREADY paying for a membership (or was in my case), WHY OH WHY do I have to be TEASED on my homescreen by profiles that look delicious when they’re not even on the menu any more? SA would be SO MUCH MORE SD FRIENDLY by simply boosting that homescreen to my targeted preferences, with always the most recently active profiles! It has to be able to be done…””

    Part of the secret is to understand that SA is trying to drive traffic to those who are not here in most cases , to get premium members to re-enlist.
    That same screen has a search button. You should have your four or five searches saved for quick access.

    *your criteria sorted by most recent first. Additional criteria (age, height, weight etc) Ignore those who have not been on for a long time. How long- it is a matter of odds, If there is someone you are really attracted to and she’s not been here for a while why not ask. Some % of SB’s don’t come here if they are having a great relationship. But those end.

    *other search criteria you want to use (keywords, age etc) . You might have a fetish for nurses , students, etc

  248. Also…

    If you’re going to probe into people’s personal lives, plug up your own “mangina”, and be a “man” about asking. Have some decency about yourself. You’re really sickening me these days.

  249. @Josh

    Have a glass of mulled wine, and relax.

  250. Josh says:


    “but this whole proxy thing is quite ridiculous, and Ive really no interest in entertaining it.”

    I too am hoping that your mind and your blog contributions are past hogwash aka nonsense aka cowshit. 😉

  251. Josh says:


    “I have been on this website for a while now and I think in my neck of the woods white men or black men aren’t really interested.”

    Interested in what?

  252. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @flyR & @resop2 – It is true that the search feature is a better measure of local activity…as a SD, if your membership expires, SA will put you in every category on the front page of SBs when they login to attempt to get you to buy your next membership term…while SBs do not “pay” for membership, their “payment” for membership is to get free messages to SD profiles and hopefully they contact enough “Standard” SD profiles to keep the coffers full at the Corporate Office, so they can pay for the development of the next iteration of SA (PA) or whatever might come next as PA does not garner enough paid memberships from SDs.

    But, @flyR, that’s also a source of the frustration from a SD’s perspective…I’m ALREADY paying for a membership (or was in my case), WHY OH WHY do I have to be TEASED on my homescreen by profiles that look delicious when they’re not even on the menu any more? SA would be SO MUCH MORE SD FRIENDLY by simply boosting that homescreen to my targeted preferences, with always the most recently active profiles! It has to be able to be done…

    I have advocated a number of times on topics…what is the FIRST STEP for a SB or SD, before even a profile revamp? Do a Search within what you feel comfortable driving for a first meet…don’t even exclude ANYONE…get that number, then scroll through to the profiles active within the last week (if it says “last 7 days” it counts, if it says “1 week ago” it doesn’t count)…THAT will give you a measure of the level of activity of the profiles in your area. THEN, make note of the number of profiles active within the last day (if it says “last 24 hours” it counts, if it says “1 day ago” it doesn’t count)…THAT will give you an idea of the REALLY active profiles.

    NOW, look at the profiles and determine if there is a high percentage of “undesirables”, “princesses” with expectations out of the galaxy, “collage” kids, etc. FINALLY, you have an idea of what your SB audience would be.

    SAME SEARCH for SBs when joining and looking for an SD, but at the end, look for the “undesirables”, “johns”, by expectation level, etc.

  253. Tammy says:

    I have been on this website for a while now and I think in my neck of the woods white men or black men aren’t really interested. Its more like a waiting game. I even used craigslist.

  254. Shun4214 says:

    @SexyRockstar may you please give me pointers as well on how to make my profile standout?

  255. @D’licious

    May I ask where you are from?

  256. DivaliciousWave says:

    i love love these blogs, it has though tm so much, I’ve only been here for short time, and a first i saw SA sting and got scared. i have my firs date this week, and I’m hoping all go’s well. I’m a little nervous, because lets face it, its blind date lol. but hey. in any case, any advice?

  257. I have no comment. Well, actually, I do…but this whole proxy thing is quite ridiculous, and Ive really no interest in entertaining it.


    Leave me be. You and your proxies…not to be confused with the proxies of your dreams. Oh the irony.

  258. Lainey says:

    I’m a proxy of @Sexys ass and she’s a proxy of my tits. Together we make the perfect proxy SB of @Joshy’s proxy dreams.

  259. SexyRockstar says:

    I am a proxy

  260. This last probing of yours, though, was of your own query. I think you just enjoy probing me. Yeah, love?

  261. You do know that I’m on to you. Right, babe? Unapologetically.

  262. Josh says:


    Hmmm, who else do you think is my proxy?

    “Why must you bother me so?”

    Because you keep bringing the proxy issue.

  263. “Josh says:
    February 9, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    Which one is in your mind still?

    1. @Josh = @FunDude.
    2. @Josh = @PimpinSD.
    3. All of the above.”


    Your list is too short, dear.

    Why must you bother me so?

    Do you need a hug, babe?

  264. flyR says:

    “”””resop2 says:
    February 9, 2015 at 12:54 pm

    Depressing SA stat of the day. I will live post how long ago the “featured” members in my area last logged on:

    A) 14 hours
    B) 2 days
    C) 2 days
    D) 3 days
    E) 4 days
    F) 4 days
    G) 7 days
    H) 1 week
    I) 2 weeks
    J) 2 weeks
    K) 1 month
    L) 1 month

    In other words, only five of the featured members in my area haven’t already quit the site.”””””

    Did you ever consider the fact that they are featured is that SA is trying to drive traffic to their now inactive accounts.

    ALWAYS search by date of last signon . Incidentally if you believe you are hiding your signin time a search by signon time puts you in the time line

    1 day ago – miss abundant charmes
    undisclosed sexy bimbo ( you)
    1 day ago here2rockU

    It does not take Sherlock Holmes to figure out when you were on

  265. Josh says:


    Which one is in your mind still?

    1. @Josh = @FunDude.
    2. @Josh = @PimpinSD.
    3. All of the above.

  266. Josh says:


    I have no problem with adjusting the level of allowance based on hotness, but refusing any allowance until certain bar is reached may not work.

  267. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Georgia – That’s also why I’ve said I wouldn’t be here if wife were active…I also wouldn’t look for more than one SB as long as she is meeting “needs” in that department.

  268. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Georgia – I appreciate your question, since you’re new to the blog. but even if you were judging me for it, is water off a duck, hun 😉

  269. saltwaterdomme says:

    Interesting article. I guess because I am a professional and travel a lot, I take for granted the information in the article…

  270. GeorgiaPeach says:

    I hope you don’t think I am judging you, because I certainly am not. I’m just trying to understand a few things. And I do get where you are coming from. When my late husb was ill for over 2 years, there was no sex at our house either, yet it was also a time when I needed “someone” who could provide it and that closeness more than ever. With all the chemo and crap he was on, there was no way he could “do” anything even if he had wanted. So, I do understand and I feel that sometimes we just have to do what we must. Thank you for sharing.

  271. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @YGBKM – Thanks, I appreciate that…some people do not understand things outside “the norm” of all our nothing…

  272. @Online

    I understand. Not from experience of marriage, but from my own experience in an unconventional relationship. I suppose the all-or-nothing approach works for some. I prefer to recognize the reality of a given relationship in terms of compatibly, desires and expectations, and create a realm that facilitates my loveship. Few have it all-in-one, yet many struggle to the depths of misery trying to attain it. More power to you, and whatever keeps your marriage fruitful.

  273. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @FatB – I haven’t expected things NOW…but…when it’s marketed as 8:1 ratio and “most find in a few weeks” language, you’d think after over 6 months of paid membership is have found someone for more than p4p…that’s MY frustration with SA.

  274. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Georgia – I have not hidden the fact in stil in love with my wife, but sex 7 times in 5 years (being generous, since it’s been 0 in the last 2.5!) means either I look like Popeye or I find someone for a THIS PART of my life…don’t want to change home life or family life, just want the sexual energy and connection.

    I don’t expect anyone to understand, it’s my story, how I choose to live.

  275. I think it’s rather disappointing that SA doesn’t have more of a tutorial for profile building. It’s really unfortunate for girls who might have some potential if they had a better grasp of the concept. Maybe a SexyRockstar revamp of sorts could be incorporated into the upgraded membership process or something. I think I remember seeing that they are planning to offer SB support on PA, but I think this site is in dire need of that service.

  276. FunDude says:


    I wouldn’t say “supermodel” but has to be quite higher quality depending on level of allowance.

    This concept seems foreign to some of the dudes on here. Don’t get it.

    I don’t see how I am being “controversial” in my approach.

  277. Josh says:


    Getting free money, gifts, shopping, etc., from random men is one ofthe highest highs a woman can get. @FunDude does not want to provide that to them unless they are super model material.

  278. Toni,

    They are too sex heavy. The one that you deleted with the wide V neckline appeared to show your outer areola…unless it is a shadow? Your main photo is too Malibu. Long hair, don’t care, with fake nails, and too pink lipstick. You really want to go for a more natural look. The tri-panel pic is totally “I’m headed to the club, y’all ain’t ready for all this ass.” The one of you on the stage looks like the set for “Flavor of Love” or “Who Wants to Be a Sugar Baby?”

    You really want to avoid projecting the diva glam vixen look. It skirts too close to escort territory. I think that you can set a better tone. The picture you deleted is closest to a natural look (pretty girl next door), and it maybe wouldn’t be so bad if it there wasn’t that areola shadow, and if it wasn’t paired with the more provocative photos.

    It seems that ladies get hung up on projecting the idea of sexy in an overtly provocative and suggestive manner.

    What you have is a rather boring profile with very little description of what you offer. Regardless, all of your profile content is overshadowed by that pink lipstick and those acrylic nails.

    You have to be mindful of the picture you paint, and the type of person you wish to attract. There is a thin line, and you are dangling on the wire.

  279. Josh says:


    Getting free money, gifts, shopping, etc., from random men is one ofthe highest high

  280. Dazed-SD says:

    @online, I feel your pain brother,,I done in 7 days, might blog that’s all.

  281. AmusedSD says:

    It must be his attitude towards women.

  282. ToniFromTrinidad says:

    @yougottabekiddingme Why so? I just updated my profile, deleted one pic, and have 3 others pending (before reading your comment).

  283. FatB'StardSA says:


    You must be the only (according to you) good looking, fit, rich, single and young (about 35) doctor who has ever had a hard time finding a SB on SA. Your situation does not make sense unless you are a fake persona.

  284. Toni?

    I think you need to start by deleting all of your pictures. Immediately.

  285. Josh says:

    High Heels Have A Strange Effect On Men, And Here’s Proof

  286. @CookieBot

    I read over it gain, and I think I’m still interpreting it differently.

    “We got to chatting for a couple days and it became increasingly obvious that he wasn’t just attracted to black women but black women who he could feel superior to and have power over them. ”

    I am interpreting her remarks in relation to her perception of his attitude and regard for these women. In other words, she is above the attitude and regard he has for these women, not that she is above the women themselves.

    Similarly to what Online mentioned, there is a different attitude you have for the girl you intend to keep around, or value. Those you do not…not so much.

    Thus, what I took from the remarks was that she didn’t wanted to regarded in the same way (with the same attitude and approach) as those other encounters.

  287. FunDude says:

    Just because you had some “quality SB” relationship many many years ago, is IRRELEVANT in the current SA market.

    Unless you can find quality SBs in the current market, then you can be a “guru” and explain this process to the rest of the SDs.

    The SBs who give advice have “arrangements” with men and therefore can speak.

    The same standard should be made for SD “gurus”

  288. FunDude says:

    @ Fatty

    What “relationships” have you had on this website? Do tell us about the top SBs you had and why aren’t you doing it anymore?

    Im being serious here. Unless you have top SBs and discuss the circumstances, your attempt at being some kind of “guru” over Josh, myself or others is just hot air.

    The fact that you haven’t even been active on this site for many years means you are basically full of shit and not to be taken seriously on this subject.

    When men complain about the quality of SBs on this site that are ACTUALLY active, you can’t really disagree since you haven’t been active for a very long time.

  289. ToniFromTrinidad says:

    My profile ID is member/e79650fc/view

  290. FatB'StardSA says:


    “Since you are not on this website for real, your opinion really isn’t relevant to the discussion.”

    Seeing as you have not had any success then I would say my opinion is more relevant than yours. Let us know how your SB search on POF goes I am sure you will have as much success as you had on SA.

  291. ToniFromTrinidad says:

    Hello all,
    I’ve been here on SA for just a couple days & I did a lot of browsing before and after compiling my bio, etc. I’ve read this entire blog/comments and also the Fictional SB blog/comments. I saw a lot of good advice from @Sexy and @Kenna, including awesome bio & personal info layouts and photo advice. I started to just pilfer the ideas (lol) but would rather some personalized advice. I don’t know how authentic I should and/or shouldn’t be but I am a very typical & down-to-earth girl and would like my profile to reflect that (i.e. I don’t own any sexy evening gowns nor the beautiful clutches that go along with). I do however want to be seen as the well-rounded, respectable, and yes-I-know-which-fork-to-use-first woman that I am. I have had sugar daddies without using a site, so I know the ropes of interaction and all that good stuff. However, my allowances were (what this site would call) “practical” and sometimes moreso “negotiable” simply because the arrangement wasn’t explicitly stated (I just knew how to get what I needed) and I’d like to step it up a bit to getting more of what I WANT because I can handle my needs on my own. Sorry for the long post!! Hope you all can help 🙂 Thanks

  292. FunDude says:

    @Amused SD

    I agree that the quality of the SBs isn’t much better than POF. That is unfortunate considering the want for “arrangements” on this website.

    @Fat Bastard

    Since you are not on this website for real, your opinion really isn’t relevant to the discussion.

  293. Josh says:


    How long is the “long time”?

  294. CookieBot says:

    @YGBKM — Yes, I agree that was the main point she was making. But underneath that was the concept that she was somehow better than a single mom or Walmart greeter, and it irritated her that he didn’t want that.

  295. “PimpinSD says:
    February 9, 2015 at 12:45 pm
    “How’s your apple and orange holding up? Have you made juice of them yet?”

    I was hoping you would help me drain my fruity balls.”

    Yep! I’m your girl :D. Considering that the fermentation process has already set in, it’ll kinda be like drinking wine…warm wine…out of a straw. Mulled wine, maybe. Ive always like mulled wine. Generous of you to share, babe. How long has it been hanging around in those fur insulators? I bet it’s perfect for tasting now. We’d better drain it soon before it’s past it’s prime!

  296. SouthernSB says:

    I won’t even attempt to join PA due to the fact that I don’t have a computer with video hookup and I’m realistic enough to know that there is no way on earth that a PA SD would be interested in me.

  297. FatB'StardSA says:


    I have not been active for a long time. I still log in to see the lay of the land so to speak (I am a Bastard after all). I don’t see any difference in the types of profile compared to when I was active. It was a pain in the ass for me as well.

    Blog SD’s are obsessed with finding some amazing SB right off the bat. Get an acceptable SB at first (with an appropriate allowance), it will keep you from being the desperate fucker that you are now. Keep looking for new SB candidates. You will be amazed at how your “screening” ability improves (in speed and accuracy) at this point. You will need no advise from me at this point. Always keep some overlap between the current SB and candidate SB to make a proper comparison. Expensive but worth it! Arrangements are NSA, no harm no foul.


    The advise I gave to Josh worked for me, even in a competitive SA environment. You might have delusional expectations.

    I would avoid paying for a SA membership for a while once PA is up and running. A majority of the SB’s will hold out for the PA SD’s. It will take some time for most SB’s to realize they are not going to meet a PA SD. I am curious to see if they will then admit defeat and “downgrade” to SA or if they will get pissed off and leave PA/SA entirely.

  298. resop2 says:

    Depressing SA stat of the day. I will live post how long ago the “featured” members in my area last logged on:

    A) 14 hours
    B) 2 days
    C) 2 days
    D) 3 days
    E) 4 days
    F) 4 days
    G) 7 days
    H) 1 week
    I) 2 weeks
    J) 2 weeks
    K) 1 month
    L) 1 month

    In other words, only five of the featured members in my area haven’t already quit the site.

  299. PimpinSD says:

    “How’s your apple and orange holding up? Have you made juice of them yet?”

    I was hoping you would help me drain my fruity balls.

  300. GeorgiaPeach says:

    As a lady here, looking around, reading the site, I am curious. I don’t understand why a married guy is looking for an SB. I know silly question. You seem so adamant about staying with your woman in your marriage, yet you seek more from a much younger female. What is so lacking in your marriage that you have to go outside to find it and why would you stay with a lady that doesn’t provide for all your needs? I was married for almost 25 yrs before his death and neither of us had any inclination to go “outside” for more. Please help me understand this.

  301. [sighs]

    Ok, fine. Don’t be yourself. Instead, prove to her that you are genuinely interested by proclaiming, “I work with black people.” Please report back with your results.


    How’s your apple and orange holding up? Have you made juice of them yet?

  302. Pimpin says:


    Good afternoon sexy. I see you’re playing nice with the other princesses today.

  303. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – Now…you’re exactly right…IF I was courting someone for marriage…for Sugar though, I feel I SHOULD be “me”…as the SD. In Sugar, it’s the SB who should be walking on eggshells…

  304. Josh says:

    To “be yourself” with a woman? Now that is comedy gold worthy. 😉

  305. @Online

    I think that’s a valid concern, but I think these things are felt out throughout the interaction. I think the best way to prove or disprove something is to be yourself. If your intentions are of genuine interest, I think this will come through.

  306. Further…

    I think her point was that what she initially thought to be genuine interest was soon revealed to be an attempt at easy pickings, or exotic/ethnic fetish (bucket list, perhaps).

    The former is kind of like green card seeker strategy. They seek out ethnic minorities, BBWs, and single moms.

  307. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL – Thanks…it felt stalker-ish, but then again, I am not going to pay to reply to what is probably a private pic request! So, off to coffee I will go 😉

  308. THEATLSD says:

    No problem. You gotta be careful in this little world.
    Also @YGBKM review of your new profile is right on. Fine tune it and leave some stuff for the meets.

  309. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @YGBKM – I actually heard some racial prejudice in the way the situation was described…like the white SD wanted to USE his black SB – “ethnic experience” and “fetish” style specifically…also in the way she wrote the prior conversation and experiences outside the other two, like he wanted to hold his situation over her head. I didn’t read the “bus stop guy” stuff, so my issue is with the D-Bag that has racial overtones to his handling of a minority SB…THAT makes it difficult to deal with a minority SB, because you have to go a LONG WAY to prove you’re NOT like that D-Bag after that’s been her experience!

  310. THEATLSD says:

    “@ATL & @Dazed – is it bad of me to want to go buy a coffee at EVERY Starbucks in the area of a university to see if I meet a profile that just joined ”
    Hell no it’s not bad. I go to a pizza joint and a bar that the local coeds go to and work at. And a couple SB actually put were they work in their profile. Yes really. I went there also. Do it bro.

  311. @CookieBot

    What I gather is that the SB feels that the SD seeks out those he feels superior to due to their lot. I think the statements were less to do with condescension about the girls lot, and more to do with the SDs intention to use their lot to his advantage–and in the case of Bus Stop Daddy, at his disposal.

  312. OnlineNewbieSD says:


  313. And the KimGs of the sugar world perpetuate the cycle. Classic.

  314. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @FatB’StardSA – I have NO confidence in the POF or match sites…however…if there is another site I could try, instead of either spending a significant portion of my Sugar Budget on PA, or the “ineligible for PA” profiles on SA…I’m listening.

    That’s why I asked how a married guy would be received on those sites…no intent to join, just mild curiosity…

    But, I’m also not so sure they could be out of their minds meeting someone looking for a relationship and treating it from a Sugar perspective. It MIGHT blow-up in their face, but if the option is ZERO Sugar from SA, or occasional short-term “relationships”, it might be better to go the “relationship” route…wouldn’t work for me, since I will NOT remove wedding ring for a meet, but, maybe works for the Single SDs struggling on SA because of the marketing machine?! I’d like to hear some updates before I call them delusional

  315. CookieBot says:

    CC said: “it became increasingly obvious that he wasn’t just attracted to black women but black women who he could feel superior to and have power over them. Young women who worked as Walmart greeters. Single mothers. Financially strapped cheating girlfriends. Women with just a high school education. He assumed I might be the same despite my profile clearly showing the exact opposite of that.”

    @YGBKM — You don’t catch a whiff of condescension there from the SB? Am I being oversensitive?

  316. Josh says:


    1. When was the last time you were active on the site?

    2. I know that you believe that the quality of SBs in the past was the same as it is now. How did you screen when you were active?

  317. FatB'StardSA says:

    Comedy gold on the blog right now. The blog SD’s who are hopeless and cannot find a SB using SA think they are going to find a SB on a regular dating site!

    And I thought that most of the blog SB’s were delusional. You guys take it to a whole other level!

  318. KimG says:

    anyone looking for a brown sugar baby? I’m here at your dispense 😉
    Message me, i dont bite

  319. FatB'StardSA says:


    “This guy was only interested in using, exploiting and victimizing someone sweet who is already being victimized by the 21st century. I could give more details, but I’ll spare you.”

    How do you know these girls are sweet or victimized in any way?

    You and FlyR should get together and collaborate on some BS stories (maybe the parking lot SD could be freebasing Morton’s salt with the young girls). That seems to be the only contribution either of you make on the blog.

  320. I don’t recall anyone showing any condescension toward any of those mentioned. I think pursuit of them is a different story when it’s predatory for the purpose of exploiting their vulnerability or desperation.

  321. CookieBot says:

    @Josh — The original poster was an SB (CookieCat, which is disturbing close to a trademark violation of my name but is definitely not a proud Bot), who was complaining that the guy didn’t want someone of her high quality — and she wrote that list to illustrate the type of women she felt he was taking advantage of. I agree it was condescending.

    @ONSB — “I would CHERISH a SB profile where she was working to make ends meet, ”
    I rarely consider an SB who isn’t trying to improve herself in some way beyond reaching for more sugar, or who has fallen into a hole and needs a hand up. No disrespect to the lifestyle SBs, there are plenty of guys who only want a finished product (so to speak).

  322. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    RE: Walmart greeters, other minimum wage jobs for SBs…

    Look, I would CHERISH a SB profile where she was working to make ends meet, and just coming up short because of the wage issue…as long as I could tell she was actually WORKING the job, ABLE to do better in life with some help, and didn’t have an ENTITLEMENT attitude around receiving the allowance.

    Trouble has been with the entitlement attitude, hearing the flushing sound as I give a gift/cash/etc to the SB, or getting messages ALL THE TIME “don’t have to work today, can I see you?” If you never HAVE to work, why am I be giving you an allowance out of the cash I work very hard to earn?

  323. AmusedSD says:


    Being single, I’ve noticed a number of cross-overs from Match and POF to SA.

    I live in a small resort town that doesn’t have a large educated dating pool. I’m looking all 3 places, but yes. I’m getting almost the same quality on POF and Match as on here.

  324. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – isn’t that more of a “traditional” dating site though? As a married guy, how would my profile be received on there?

  325. Josh says:

    “Young women who worked as Walmart greeters.”

    Many of these no-real-income millionaires shop at Walmart, dollar stores, Marshall’s, etc., but show condescension toward hardworking “Walmart greeters.”

  326. Josh says:


    Personally, after experiencing the quality of SBs currently signing up in my neck of the woods, I am going to give POF another try. POF’s annual membership costs about the same amount as SA’s monthly membership.

    POF women are looking for projects. I could be a very worthwhile project that does not demand too much of her time, takes her out for nice dates, and pays her on top of that. 😉

  327. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL & @Dazed – is it bad of me to want to go buy a coffee at EVERY Starbucks in the area of a university to see if I meet a profile that just joined (since I’m NOT going to pay for another month of this site)? I did some research, it would be less than a month’s subscription…she sent me a message (must not realize the “standard” means “cheap bastard isn’t paying us”)

  328. CookieBot says:

    @YGBKM — Your bus station guy is a disgusting piece of shit, I agree.

    My objection was to the list of women “being taken advantage of” in the original post that you referenced: “Young women who worked as Walmart greeters. Single mothers. Financially strapped cheating girlfriends. Women with just a high school education.”

    I think we can all agree that there’s nothing wrong and a lot right about supporting single moms, people stuck in dead end jobs, and those who need education.

    Cheating girlfriends, those I would leave alone.

  329. AmusedSD says:

    That sounds like a Silence of the Lambs / serial killer situation.
    That’s really horrible.

  330. “CookieBot says:
    February 9, 2015 at 8:58 am
    @YGBKM — If one excluded all the hardship cases from consideration, relatively few SBs would be left, and they would mostly be princesses and pros. Everybody’s got a story. It’s not bottom feeding to help someone sweet who is being victimized by the 21st century.”

    This guy was not interested in helping someone sweet who is being victimized by the 21st century. This guy was only interested in using, exploiting and victimizing someone sweet who is already being victimized by the 21st century. I could give more details, but I’ll spare you.

  331. I mean he provides the drugs for them, and then, yes, they would get high.


    You’ve taken the negatives out of your profile, and that’s great. I think you have too much going on with it now. There are a few redundancies (like the statement about intellectual stimulation), and there are some structural errors (run-on and fragmented sentences, punctuation etc). It’s a little bit laborious to read. Sexy is pretty good at nip and tuck operations, so maybe she can help you prune. You don’t have to fit all of your interests. Good addition that you were raised in Japan…I don’t remember that from before. Also, Id say mention some of your “hippyish” interests without calling yourself a hippy. The term can carry some stereotypical connotations that may lead some to dismiss you prematurely. I think it’s improved from the previous profile, and it definitely doesn’t give off the same aggressive diva vibe. You’ve had a great attitude in being receptive to advice. Keep at it!

  332. CookieBot says:

    @YGBKM — If one excluded all the hardship cases from consideration, relatively few SBs would be left, and they would mostly be princesses and pros. Everybody’s got a story. It’s not bottom feeding to help someone sweet who is being victimized by the 21st century.

  333. CookieBot says:

    @Jones — Well written and evocative. My big problem is that the mental picture I get after reading your profile is that you are recently separated from a controlling, angry, drama filled, ego case husband (inference from the things you say you want to avoid). No way as an SD I want to get anywhere near that situation. I have no idea if that is actually your situation, but that’s what I was thinking as I read your profile.

  334. FatB'StardSA says:


    “He’d get them high…”

    I think you should have said “They would get high”, or is he holding them down and sticking a needle in their arm?

    I am not into taking pictures but “give them $20 for gas, fuck them every way imaginable” sounds like a good deal to me! I do like punk girls as well!

  335. Jones01131 says:

    Hello everyone, I’m new to the site. It’s been extremely interesting and enlightening to read all the opinions and see the guidance offered. @Sexy welcome back. @Kenna – Happy Birthday. @Josh – your advice and comments have been intelligent and measured. Most of the comments have been calm and respectful and I’ve greatly appreciated them. Thank you. I’ve just posted my profile and pictures will be uploaded this evening. I’ve had a couple of SD’s look at my profile, but I would be grateful for any helpful words, comments and advice on how to make the profile more welcoming to potential SD’s. @Sexy, please forgive my presumption, but I did email you directly. Your advice and @Josh’s are excellent. I would like to do everything possible to achieve success as an SB. My profile code is: e73aadec

    Thank you all for taking the time to help others. I truly appreciate it.

  336. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    RE: Feb14

    I made it a point, VERY early on, in a relationship that she has a choice…random gifts, surprises, etc. OR celebrations for the “holidays”. EVERY relationship chose the random over the holiday…

  337. ErikTheRed says:

    The genesis of those basket cases is not low self-esteem but too much pride and hubris. If I were in my early 20’s, I wouldn’t try to compete against the 40yo current version of myself in terms of intellect or resources. Equality between men and women in general does not translate to equality in everything between the two people in a relationship:

    1. Most women try to seek out the top 20% of men; obviously not all women can be in the top 20% of all women. So after successfully pick out a top 20%, top 5%, top 1% male, why frustrate oneself trying to be equal to him in fields where he is good at and make him the top what-ever percent? If one is that competitive with partners, seeking out a pathetic project would indeed be the preferred outlet.

    2. Different people have different fortes; e.g. I wouldn’t try to compete against my partner in terms of beauty.

  338. @ALL Ok feedback and suggestions have been thoroughly noted. ID:e3eb9416 What is the verdict? : >

  339. ErikTheRed says:


    “”Young women who worked as Walmart greeters. Single mothers. Financially strapped cheating girlfriends. Women with just a high school education.””

    “I have heard of men who do this. One who would pick up these women at bus stations.”

    This seems like an interesting angle on finding SB’s. Have any SD’s tried this approach? I would be interested in reading about the difference between these SB’s and ones that are usually found on SA.”

    Never tried to seek them out, but have met cases where this risk is extremely high. The typical “strong and independent” early 20’s believing they can get away with anything, thinking taking advice from more mature adults would make themselves less than equal in a relationship, insufficiently aware of their own biological liability, are very prone to picking up projects and accidental mini-projects, then quickly turning themselves quickly into those basket cases.

  340. He’d get them high, buy them fastfood, maybe give them $20 for gas, fuck them every way imaginable, and photograph them. Young ethnic girls, mostly. Latinas, blacks and also punk chicks. Punk chicks he’d use for 50 Shades of Battery.

  341. FatB'StardSA says:

    “”Young women who worked as Walmart greeters. Single mothers. Financially strapped cheating girlfriends. Women with just a high school education.””

    “I have heard of men who do this. One who would pick up these women at bus stations.”

    This seems like an interesting angle on finding SB’s. Have any SD’s tried this approach? I would be interested in reading about the difference between these SB’s and ones that are usually found on SA.

  342. AmusedSD says:

    “There are a lot of terminal cases out there.”

    We’re all terminal cases. No one gets out alive.

  343. resop2 says:

    @Keo – I travel, but SB’s over an hour away seem like a real chore.

  344. “Please post your profile id and we will assess if you can be helped, or is your situation terminal.”

    Ha. “If you can be helped,” is a good approach. There are a lot of terminal cases out there.

  345. “We got to chatting for a couple days and it became increasingly obvious that he wasn’t just attracted to black women but black women who he could feel superior to and have power over them. Young women who worked as Walmart greeters. Single mothers. Financially strapped cheating girlfriends. Women with just a high school education.”

    I have heard of men who do this. One who would pick up these women at bus stations. Pathetic.

  346. Josh says:


    “Why did this ad seem more insulting than helpful. basically in short words don’t be a stereotype?”

    Serious mental side effects of watching Oprah re-runs, or Ricki Lake, maybe?

    Please post your profile id and we will assess if you can be helped, or is your situation terminal.

  347. ss1959 says:

    @LadySandy: As an SD, I like your profile overall. A few little things:

    – I didn’t care for the photo with your hands on your hips. It appears somehow awkward.

    – “What I’m looking for” is a statement and shouldn’t end with a question mark. Change it to “What am I looking for?”

    – “who is looking for a real SD/SB relationship (no one night stand, P4P, pay by meeting)” End this at “real SD/SB relationship”, avoiding the negative list of what you don’t want.

    That’s all I’ve got.

  348. Phoenix says:

    Why did this ad seem more insulting than helpful. basically in short words don’t be a stereotype?

  349. CookieCat says:

    One thing I’m having a bit of a problem with is working against preconceived stereotypes (which also happens in my dating life too if they come from a non-diverse area). I edit and re-edit my profile because sometimes I feel like it’s just bragging/too much showing but otherwise I sometimes run into really awkward situations.

    * One guy I talked with was into black women (I always find that super helpful). We got to chatting for a couple days and it became increasingly obvious that he wasn’t just attracted to black women but black women who he could feel superior to and have power over them. Young women who worked as Walmart greeters. Single mothers. Financially strapped cheating girlfriends. Women with just a high school education. He assumed I might be the same despite my profile clearly showing the exact opposite of that.

    * One guy who wanted an “ethnic experience” to which I joked you’re talking to the wrong girl. Turned out his daughter and I could have been sisters because we had very similar upbringings and experiences right down to attending the same private school (at different times). That didn’t get off the ground because he really was looking for something more “ethnic.”

    * Men who fetishize women of color to the point it gets weird. Like “let me be your white master” weird and not the general D/s kinks I like.

    My last two SDs have both been great and completely normal. I currently don’t have an SD but there’s a potential one that took a lot of talking to show we’re on the same page.

  350. flyR says:

    @ VEGAS “”””And feel free to post a link or something where SA has awarded Sexy as the guru sugar advisor (sic) .”””””

    Vegas, a am not sure if you are real or one of the other’s in drag. But a few facts:

    The vast % of Sexy’s profile comments have been spot on and generally very positive (although often critical) in contrast to other’s comments.

    She’s also invited direct communications

    She’s never claimed to be a guru or anything similar , only someone who enjoys helping. Perhaps some are jealous of the respect she has earned.

    Just like futurists are historically unable to foresee the future, but science fiction writers are remarkably accurate……….. The mantle of true guru seldom goes to those who profess to be one, but rather to those who demonstrate the wisdom and willingness to share it in a positive manner which affects positive change.

  351. Fall says:

    Speaking as a brown sugar baby. I’ve had success even with my celebrity makeup. I love getting dolled up. I think it really comes down to the quality of you. Including your profile how visually pleasing your are and your ability to hold a conversation and share interests when you meet with a potential sugar daddy. Another thing to keep in mind the majority of the men on the site are white and for a lot of men discretion is important a young black woman with an older white male draws a lot of attention wanted or unwanted so Brown babies understand stipulations matter. My advice would be look your best, and let the man lead the way don’t be pushy or overly aggressive.

  352. @THEATLSD Thanks for bringing that to my attention I wasn’t sure what that was for : >

    @SouthernSB Team Aqua! Happy Aquarius Birthday.

    @Kenna positive energy and prayers to you hun. Glad you’re enjoying your Birthday from the sounds of it ^_^

    February 8, 2015 at 10:48 am
    “Among the recent bloggers, I don’t see much hope for @LadySandy and @ToddyVibeHigh. The latter may have better chance than the former, she has shared her profile id, and has received specific feedback.”

    Let’s me know I’m on the right track. Thank you sir : > I’ll post my Profile ID before the week’s over for second reviews after I make it over. @SexyRockstar is the ish! <3

  353. @Sexy

    Masturbation is one of my favorite night caps.

  354. Keo says:

    Do you travel to meet your SBs?

  355. @CookieBot

    Come around more often.

  356. Keo says:

    @Sexy Feel better!

  357. SexyRockstar says:

    I am going to bed. I really feel like shit. I can’t sleep for the fucking life of me. I need to try

  358. @Sexy

    When I look at some of these profiles, all I can do is shake my head, close my laptop, and walk away. Some of these girls don’t need profile revamps, they need all around bootcamp. Kudos to you for having the will power. Some of these girls come on blog, receive harsh (albeit true) criticism, and are told that they should be grateful to have received it. I don’t think that you are above being on the receiving end. Typos on a tumbler account can be just as off-putting as in a profile…especially when you’re promoting yourself. Would you have rather not had the error pointed out at all? I know it seems petty, but it is something that people consider when deciding on a product. Kind of sanctimonious, your response. I know you are in the early stages, and Im sure you’ll work out the kinks. It’s sometimes helpful to have someone else proofread and edit, as it can be easy to overlook our own errors.

    I don’t have a tumbler account, and I’m not sure that Ill create one. If I do, Id be happy to check it out, and follow up with an email.

    All else, you’ve ceased an opportunity, and that’s admirable. Do it well, and win the world :).

  359. resop2 says:

    @SexyRockstar I live in a rural area.

  360. Keo says:

    @Sexy…. Gurl! Why did you even entertain Vegas?

  361. Josh says:


    Just a small sample. Hahahahaha!

  362. SexyRockstar says:

    I don’t understand how there are all these women on here that are seriously that stupid. LOL

  363. Josh says:

    Since some people are paranoid, here is link to a fatherload of MGTOW philosophy.

    M.G.T.O.W – Men Going Their Own Way is a statement of self-ownership, where the modern man preserves and protects his own sovereignty above all else. It is the manifestation of one word: “No”. Ejecting silly preconceptions and cultural definitions of what a “man” is. Looking to no one else for social cues. Refusing to bow, serve and kneel for the opportunity to be treated like a disposable utility. And, living according to his own best interests in a world which would rather he didn’t.


    These guys are going nuts now. Check their website out…

    Roses are dead. Pass the beer nuts.
    $14 Billion was wasted on women last year – in just one day.
    It’s time men did something better with that.

  364. CookieBot says:

    I’m a proud independent bot, @YGKBM, not anybody’s damn proxy. Cretin is a fun word.

    To the point: Sexy’s advice is improving the profiles we’ve seen, although admittedly in many cases that’s a pretty low bar. When she sees a good profile, she says so and leaves it alone. That’s a pro move. She deserves every cent she’s going to make, once she figures out how to monetize this gold mine.

  365. resop2 says:

    @SexyRockstar: That all depends.

    * The ones that talk about themselves and about their dreams while also asking me questions about myself are the ones who I wind up missing when they flake out/leave the site/get their account hacked.

    * Many of the ones who I don’t care about much are the ones that don’t ask questions and respond to my messages with one or two words.

    * If the SB has a real “fan service” type of profile, then I might try to hustle them for more pics.

    Overall, it’s tough. Many of the SB’s on this site have the IQ’s of carrots and are incapable of holding a conversation.

  366. KennaKenna says:

    @Vegas I’m curious, are you a successful SB?

    Define “successful” in terms of sugar.

  367. SexyRockstar says:


    There have been a few POTs i’ve talked to and when I meet someone, i say “thank you very much, good luck to you blah blah blah”

    What do you talk about with your POTs? I tend to always go back to the ones that kept my interest.

  368. RookieSD says:

    “Wow what did I miss? :-O”

    What were you doing that caused you to miss it?

  369. resop2 says:

    Oops, site.

  370. resop2 says:

    I am feeling down. A SB who I was having a nice conversation with doesn’t log onto the sight for three weeks and when she comes back doesn’t even respond to a “what’s up?” message.

    It makes me think that she’s not even in control of the profile anymore.

  371. Josh says:


    Are you really going to use my comments to an idiot proxy that you created as support of your apples and oranges analogy?”

    Hmmm, are you saying that @Josh = @FunDude = @PimpinSD?

  372. KennaKenna says:

    Wow what did I miss? :-O

  373. PimpinSD says:

    Babe, do you need hug?

  374. yougottabekiddingme says:

    “PimpinSD says:
    February 8, 2015 at 6:35 pm
    Now that’s the girl I’ve fell in love with.”

    I love you too, daddy.

  375. yougottabekiddingme says:


    Are you really going to use my comments to an idiot proxy that you created as support of your apples and oranges analogy?

    Here’s a little more porno-talk for you, Pimpin. Take your apple, and your orange, and shove them both up your ass…right ‘long side your purple dildo :).

  376. resop2 says:

    @SexyRockstar: I don’t have a smart phone. My phone is quite stupid. In fact, it is so stupid that it charges me three times every time someone sends a text message that is bigger than 146 characters.

    I wonder if kik is the service that is screwing up my phone bill?

  377. VegasSB says:

    Save your sob story. Put it on tumblr. Good luck with those sharks and real SBS.

  378. SexyRockstar says:


    I never said I was the Guru. “Guru” is Josh. It’s a thing on the blog

  379. SexyRockstar says:


    I’ve been sick, mentioned that in a past post. I normally don’t have my kids on weekends. I’ve shared many funny stories about them on here. They are wonderful.

  380. SexyRockstar says:

    Please shoot me an email. I’d love to at least show you some type of proof that SA knows who I am and such.

  381. VegasSB says:

    You should probably focus on your kids.

  382. VegasSB says:

    Tell us ANYTHING sweetie…and of course I believe you. (end sarcasm) because everything on the internet is true..

  383. SexyRockstar says:


    General rule of thumb. That is all.
    But, if you must ask:

    -I have been a sugar baby for 4 years now. On and off.
    -My current SD and I are fantastic. I am VERYYYY lucky to have him.
    -I met some crazy ass men on here.
    -SBs/SDs come on here to ask for advice. I voice my opinion. If they like it, they use it, if they don’t they don’t.
    -I chose to start a tumblr in order to not have THIS blog to be all clogged up.
    -I am more then willing to share details of any arrangements i’ve had…including the ones where I fucked up. Put my OWN safety in danger. Sugar isn’t always glamorous.
    -You’re right. All I am is a faceless person on the internet. I share what works for me. Other people chime in. Not everyone will like what I say. I am not a public Sugar Baby, but any “credit” I have, is those who come back to me, say thank you, and tell me what kind of message they are receiving.
    -My ‘advice’ is purely my opinion. But, due to Sugar, I was able to leave my shitty old restaurant job and to pursue my real dream. It allows me to spend time with my kids (I have two, they are fun as hhhheeeellllll)
    -I can easily give advice to anyone in how to hook a man for quick, fast cash, even tho I think it is a wrong way to start into sugar.

    And, Vegas is fun. I was just there not too long ago for work. I was performing.

    And, no one can prove anything. Just like a man can’t truly prove he makes all these millions and such. It’s general sugar advice. If I can also help prevent an SB from making any stupid mistakes like I did in the past by just sharing experiences, that makes me happy.

    SA has been wonderful to me.

  384. Josh says:


    “And feel free to post a link or something where SA has awarded Sexy as the guru sugar advisor.”

    How old are you honey?

  385. VegasSB says:


    I don’t really need this Blog. I’m not here for advice. LOL. I think she’s an idiot and I think she doesn’t have the legs needed to stand and give advice… You mad or naw?

  386. Josh says:


    You don’t take advice from “newbies” (which @Sexy is NOT) and you call the @Guru an “idiot”. Hmmm!!!

    Let’s see how long you last at the blog. 😉

  387. VegasSB says:

    Please note there are other notable, trustworthy, and great advice blogs on tumblr. Please seek these real winners out.

  388. VegasSB says:

    And feel free to post a link or something where SA has awarded Sexy as the guru sugar advisor.. Or where they’ve personally acknowledged her as a highly “successful individual” here where we should be hanging on her every word.
    If they have. I’ll be more than willing to take back my words. But I never understood why so many people are so willing to take advice from people who proved and shown nothing other than having a lot of time to stay on blogs leaving comments.

    By all means please do my taxes to.

  389. Josh says:


    Let’s compare an apple with an orange…

    Apple: @SexyRockstar has been on the blog for several months. Aside from the blog, she writes daily. Why? because she’s a comedian (comedianne for those who prefer).

    That is, she GETS PAID to WRITES and then deliver what she wrote. Person X does not have to like what she writes, and how she delivers what she writes, but she is GOOD, and time will make her even better. If you have not read her tumblr, then you should. It’s off to a great start.

    Orange: You have been on the blog for several months. You insist on writing hogwash aka nonsense aka cowshit. That’s your preference. More power to you.

    Person Y does not have to like what you write, but the first challenge is to even understand what the fuck you wrote at any given moment.

    @PimpinSD aptly wrote: “Those meds must be working cause you seem so down to earth lately,”

    You responded by: “Nope. It’s that fur-clad cock of yours. Thanks for bending me over and shoving my face down into the pillow, daddy. I love how sexy you make me feel when I can’t talk…or breathe.”

    As if going into porno-talk will absolve you from his correct assessment of your daily hogwash aka nonsense aka cowshit musings.

    I hope that I did a decent enough job to compare an apple with an orange. 😉

  390. VegasSB says:

    Some idiot made the comment earlier that “We know what kind of SBs are in Vegas”. I do not live in Vegas. I simply love going to Vegas, I’ve had so much fun. Probably an ill-fitted name. But I like Vegas.

  391. VegasSB says:

    Hi Vegas here. I’m saying that your advice on revamping is good. However I don’t think you know as much as you lead. I’ve read your blog post and they suck. Your post on safety SUCKS and is so far off base as to how sugar babies should be safe. I’m curious what makes you such the go to person. You don’t have credibility. It’s the internet. I think people ON the internet should take things with a grain of salt. Especially when you can’t prove anything. So please continue with your advice giving. But I don’t take advice from low level newbies..

    So get my words right. Especially when all you had to do was scroll up and see/read them.

  392. SexyRockstar says:


    I was on this site for awhile, having success, before asking anyone for advice/offer.
    Everyone can use re-vamp all the time. I just recently asked Josh what he thought of my pictures.

    But, Vegas, came off like a bitch. I made a post at like 3am, then started saying I can’t spell or whatever.

    She wasn’t giving me a critique. She said “you’re stupid because you mis-spelled ONE thing. you are no body who the fuck listens to you”

    That is all.

  393. LadySandy says:

    The part about no drama in my profile is as much for him than for me..if I wanted drama, I would get a bf (I get plenty of offers) but I’m picky and too focused on my career right now to want to deal with the drama and jealousy that comes with a relationship..so yes no mind game..I don’t need the headache 😛

  394. PimpinSD says:

    Now that’s the girl I’ve fell in love with.

  395. yougottabekiddingme says:

    “PimpinSD says:
    February 8, 2015 at 6:10 pm
    Those meds must be working cause you seem so down to earth lately.”

    Nope. It’s that fur-clad cock of yours. Thanks for bending me over and shoving my face down into the pillow, daddy. I love how sexy you make me feel when I can’t talk…or breathe.

  396. Josh says:


    I did get a kick out of your refernce to mind games. For whatever it’s worth, men play video games, women play mind games. 😉

    Other than that, you’ll do just fine.

  397. SexyRockstar says:

    Um. Do you want honest feedback?

  398. yougottabekiddingme says:

    Regarding SexyRockStar, Vegas’ comments, my remark of “coming here to learn or argue,” and CookieBot’s (though I’m not sure why he doesn’t just post under his own ID) reply…

    I think it’s great that Sexy has taken the initiative to get the ball rolling on a potential opportunity to benefit from something she enjoys. That said, Sexy is but a few months removed from asking for and receiving help on her own profile. I don’t think she is so far removed from being on the other end of the table to warrant shunning and damning of others’ critiques. I wouldn’t say that anyone here is in a position where they can learn and grow no more.

    Profile revamping is merely the superficial layer, and it alone doesn’t build the person underneath. Despite that much of the profile advice has been shared and reiterated dozens of times by many bloggers, Sexy does have a style of delivery that seems to appeal and work for folks. So by all means, kudos for grabbing the bull by the horns, girlie. Keep in mind, though, that there are always ways in which even those proficient and experienced can improve.

  399. ava_cado says:

    My ID is e63fc7ac <3
    Sorry about that! Forgot to copy it.

  400. SexyRockstar says:

    What is your profile ID?

  401. LadySandy says:


    Thank you for the kind words and yes I did some extensive research 🙂 It took an incredible amount of time which this week I will pay the price for by having a crazy schedule to compensate for last week.
    I’m always updating my profile (on a daily basis) when I find something useful or decide to change something to see if it has an impact on the response I get from SDs..same thing with pictures (I put only natural pictures and not my professional pics even though they are awesome, I don’t want them to think it’s photoshoped plus they can be traced on the web to my website and other sites so I put normal pics instead)..I also shorten the about me section (took off about my career and all)..I want them to focus on the “what I’m looking for and can offer them”..they can ask more info about me in private anyways so we have stuff to talk about 😛

  402. PimpinSD says:

    Those meds must be working cause you seem so down to earth lately.

  403. ava_cado says:

    Hey, everyone! I’d still really appreciate some feedback on my profile from @Kenna @SexyRockstar, or any of the other knowledgable SBs and SDs who frequent these blogs.


  404. yougottabekiddingme says:


    It seemed to me that you came onto the blog having done a good amount of homework, and asked good questions to further your understanding. That’s more than can be said for many who just post without even reading back one blog, or bothering to refer to any of the helpful links provided on the site.

    Most of those (all?) demanding that you post your profile have never done so themselves.

    Anyway…welcome to the blog. You are a pretty girl, and your profile is off to a good start. Maybe Sexy and some others can make suggestions to polish it off, if you’re open.

  405. LadySandy says:

    @SexyRockstar I get that but no need to put me in the same basket and asking me to prove myself..I didn’t attack anyone..every time I asked a question about a technical thing about the website and someone took the time to asnwer..I thanked them. I also gave advise to someone on a problem that was common sense in my opinion and didn’t warrant expertise about the sugar world..I don’t think I have been a bitch here..except in my last few posts when I got pissed after not being on the blog all day and reading what they said about me..
    Ps. If I offended anyone, I’m sorry. I’m a nice person but when I get accused/provoked..I NEED to defend myself 😛

    @resop2 Thank you for answering a question I posted earlier today..I can’t believe the person gets notified if I block them..now I feel bad haha

  406. KennaKenna says:

    @Rookie not doing much, just watching Grammys with mom, sister and SD. They brought me all my favorite foods here so I’m stuffed.

    I will celebrate properly when I get out of here next week. *crosses fingers*

  407. LadySandy says:

    @Lainey I wanna see it because I’m curious how they are going to integrate the sex scenes in the movie without making it too much of a soft porn movie haha but also to compare it to the books..although for sure the movie will never surpass the books since it’s always better in your mind..I’m not a fan of the actor they chose however so that kind of ruined the whole thing for me :S I wanted a more tall, dark and handsome man than him lol I don’t find him “dominant” enough in the look department or maybe my imagination was just better 😛

  408. SexyRockstar says:

    Most girls come on here, being all pretty and such, and act like bitches. Thats all.
    Most girls can’t explain what makes them better then most girls in order to get a huge allowance.
    It has more to do with a pretty face, thats all that they were trying to say.

  409. RookieSD says:


    How is the birthday girl’s evening going?

  410. KennaKenna says:

    I wanna watch 50 shades too. If I get out of this place, I’d like to go see it next Sunday.

  411. SexyRockstar says:


    50 shades of GAYYYYYYYYY

    I’d rather see that. A bunch of boys running around in the cutest fucking outfits.

  412. LadySandy says:

    Here is my profile # e2a80ecc (let the criticism and shitty/jealous comments start..and if someone dares say that this is not my profile..I will get so freaking pissed..I intentionally used pictures that can’t be found on the internet because I value my privacy because of my career choice).

    **BLOG GODS: PLEASE DELETE THIS COMMENT with my profile ID after 24-48 hours please for privacy purposes**

  413. LadySandy says:

    @Lainey Thanks lol I’m sorry for tripping but I hate people accusing me of shit when they never met me and know nothing about me..as if they had the rights when I haven’t done anything to merit such a behavior beside knowing my worth as a SB!! Just to prove a point, I will post my ID but I should of just gone with the bigger person route which is to let it be and never visit the blog again..BUT apparently I take shit too personal from complete strangers lol

  414. GeorgiaPeach says:

    Did you read the books?

  415. Lainey says:

    Am I the only one TOTALLY uninterested in seeing 50 Shades Of Grey?

  416. Lainey says:

    @LadySandy Post your I’d, the blog God’s will erase it. You may have to ask though and don’t trip babe, I’m a bigger girl too.

  417. LadySandy says:

    Ok everyone so since apparently I need to prove myself to complete strangers when I haven’t been a bitch to anyone but just defended myself when I was asked why I would deserve a man that makes more than “200,000$” yearly which by the way if I’m completely honest I can get easily (apparently I need to be full of myself now so the point gets across even though that’s not the kind of person I am but you guys are freaking pissing me off when I have just been here for a week and read your comments and thought you were a decent bunch and I learned some good tips and finally today I post a comment with questions and I get a piss load of criticism when I was being polite and nice the whole time!)..geez guys!!
    I don’t need help on my profile..I’m a big girl and I’m doing well for someone that only been here for a couple of days..I get messages and interest from top SDs with very high incomes and some are even “diamond” profiles.
    If I post my profile #..can I delete the comment after so it doesn’t stay in the system here forever..I like my privacy and don’t need people copying my stuff or wtv too if they are too lazy coming up with the section about what they are looking for which I think I wrote pretty well if I say so myself (insert another full of myself comment because that’s apparently how I roll when I get attack on a blog like this by total strangers)

  418. Lainey says:

    @ATLSD Lol. IDK.

  419. yougottabekiddingme says:

    “SexyRockstar says:
    February 8, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    I want some jiffy. Are you down? Lets jiffy togetherrrrrrr”

    I just got a jar of spicy peanut butter. We’d have to be careful, but I think it could work ;p.

  420. Lainey says:

    @RookieSD I’m not Kenna. I don’t say things to gauge blog interest.

  421. THEATLSD says:

    @Laniey. I second @RookieSD post about your ass. Come on babe you can do it.

  422. SexyRockstar says:

    I like your profile. What kind of questions do you have in regards to sugar? If you have a Tumblr, I have one.

  423. Ava_h1 says:

    Hi @sexyrockstar I am new to sa. I have seen how well you have mentored others in the comments. If you ever have a chance to preview mine. I would be so very grateful. Thanks.
    MY profile info: edcbb27c

  424. Ava H1 says:

    Hi @sexyrockstar I am new to sa. I have seen how well you have mentored others in the comments. If you ever have a chance to preview mine. I would be so very grateful. Thanks.
    MY url info: edcbb27c

  425. SouthernSB says:

    @FunDude-What I meant is in the war that is dating 20 years old win over 40 years old. That not only works on SA that works IRL.

  426. FunDude says:


    There is nothing wrong with mangina beta dudes such as yourself. I think you can be a net benefit on SA.

    The BBWs on SA are in need a good mangina such as yourself to pay their way. They have been abused terribly by horrible patriarchal males that actually have their testicles intact!

    Didn’t you learn this in your feminism 101 course yet? You must’ve flunked it since you are now bitching about poor 31 y/o married women! How sexist of you!

    Now go watch you favorite show Ellen Degeneres so that she can tell you how to be a real man.

  427. AmusedSD says:

    Maybe she has a good personality. She probably realizes you’re a good beta male mangina and will probably go for it due to your feminism 101 indoctrination.

    Yes, because I don’t think it’s a gyno-centric world, I must be a ‘mangina’.

    You’re so full of logic, it astounds.

    FD, you’re a one-trick pony that’s not even worth arguing with. Stay on that high horse and whip it until it dies.

  428. SexyRockstar says:

    ¿qué necesitas ayuda con

  429. michell says:

    hello me gustaria conoser a una persona

  430. SexyRockstar says:


    Try downloading “Kik” on your phone. You don’t need you real name and its like a text message service type deal.
    You can exchange pictures that way.

    I say “Dude, it’s 2015, no one uses email anymore”

  431. FunDude says:


    Good analysis.

    Don’t know what you mean by 20 vs 40 in the game of life though? In terms of job status, economics, etc. a 40 year old should beat a 20 year old. 40 y/o olds should win in life experience, jobs, economics, etc.

    The sugar world is more like he modeling world or sports world.

  432. RookieSD says:

    ASS week is over and unless the blog members are fans of Kim K, Amber Rose etc. I doubt they’d want to see these cakes

    Is this an attempt to gauge interest? The fact that ass week is over is an opportune time for you to share the spotlight with no one(especially Kenna). There are a few SDs on here who like me have no fear of that big juicy booty hiding behind those voluptuous thighs of yours.

  433. resop2 says:

    9 messages so far. I also have a bunch of “alternate” emails that I can use. I am just worried about identity theft people.

  434. SouthernSB says:

    @FunDude-It takes one to know one. 😀 In my late teens I was one of those less than attractive, romance watching, low self-esteem girls. I got over it as soon as I hit 20, stopped trying to attract the attention of men who didn’t want me, and STOPPED believing those stupid movies and talk shows!!!
    The minute I did that my world opened up. I can’t say I wasn’t an idiot and wasted my youth on very cute Latin projects but hey, I’m a late bloomer.

    Now I’m on here trying to get a new SD. I know I can get a SD because I had one before, but what I don’t do is price myself out of my league. There is no way on earth I am going to ask for the allowance as a 19 year old supermodel. I may be super but I sure as hell ain’t no model, I am quite aware that in the game of sugar, much like the game of life, that in the competition between the 20 and 40 years old, the 20 years old win.

  435. SexyRockstar says:


    How many messages have you two exchanged back n forth?
    I always have a fake email to give out to POTs, so limited danger.

  436. resop2 says:

    Quick question: what are the dangers of sharing an email address with someone you barely know? Some SB whose profile picture just shows her cleavage says that she will send regular pics if I give up an email address.

    Should I run?

  437. KennaKenna says:

    Thanks @Josh!

  438. KennaKenna says:

    @Sexy ignore “drive-by” bloggers, you freaking rock!

  439. Josh says:

    Happy birthday @Kenna. 🙂

  440. SexyRockstar says:

    I love you Josh, Cookie, and yuppp FunDude.


  441. KennaKenna says:

    Yes I’m still here! Thank you @Southern.

  442. SexyRockstar says:


    Please pot a few more pictures. Full body ones with hair and make up done in a sexy…NOT SLUTTY cocktail dress. The “look how good looking I am” type selfies.

    Now, reading your profile….you say you’ve been on here for months, no connection, blah blah blah. Get rid of that. Please. It will make POTs sit and say “hmm, maybe she is the one that is the issue, not the men.” Make sure your profile is tailored to the man you want to attract. Birkin bag line, to me was funny…but, get rid of that.

    But, I like it, just add some pictures…I do like your funny sense of humor, so add that into the about me. In the about me section, I say, after the whole “I have a found love of spas shoes, blah blah blah” part, throw in something flirty such as “i also have a love of touching a mans face, hearing his heart skip after a great night together, blah blah blah” be Flirty and friendly.

  443. KennaKenna says:

    @Jill your profile needs some more white space and “being me” as an occupation is not cute or funny. Your profile is full of negativity and mentioning you haven’t had success for many months leads a SD to question “what is wrong with you”?

    That’s just my two cents.

  444. FunDude says:

    @ Erik

    Good analysis. I agree.

  445. FunDude says:


    Wow the best post yet from you! You basically summed it up!


    Maybe she has a good personality. She probably realizes you’re a good beta male mangina and will probably go for it due to your feminism 101 indoctrination.

    @ Vegas

    CREDIBILITY! not “creditability”

  446. CookieBot says:

    Interesting. @Sexy shows some initiative, and a pack of little cretins come scurrying out of the shadows to try and tear her down. Humanity sucks sometimes.

    And happy birthday, @kenna.

  447. Josh says:

    *It’s not just @Sexy whose advice we welcome here. We also like @Kenna, @Lainey, @StruggleIsReal and @LadyScarlett’s advice because these ladies are successful in sugar and great attitude toward men in general and their respective SDs in particular.

  448. Josh says:

    @Jill, are you here to learn or to vent, whine and/or argue?

  449. Josh says:

    And by the way @Sexy ROCKS BIG TIME. Get used to it!!!

    Also, to keep things in perspective, we know what kind of “SBs” Vegas has, so I would suggest that you thread softly.

  450. Jill says:


    Can you help me please?

  451. Josh says:


    “How are people so willing to accept advice from someone with no creditable sources? I am supposed to firmly believe she’s useful based on what? Because people are talking to her here? I don’t understand at all lol. Advice from someone with no creditability. Sign me up, and here’s my ssn too”

    It’s not just @Sexy whose advice we welcome here. We also like @Kenna, @Kenny, @StruggleIsReal and @LadyScarlett’s advice. Others can advise as well, if they make as much sense as the aforementioned ladies do.

    It’s just that @Sexy has been spending more time and interest in helping so she gets more “air time” so to speak, AND newer SBs rightfully seek her out.

    That said, if you are here is to unnecessarily throw shit on the fan, then the @Guru will have no choice but to promptly whoop your ass. Now, if you share your profile number instead of your SS number then I will know if I am whooping a cute ass or an ugly ass. 😉

  452. GeorgiaPeach says:

    You may be one of the few for FunDude, but as I understand it, You rock Drummer’s world, so I wouldn’t waste my time with Fundude. (And Drummer is lucky to have you!)

  453. SexyRockstar says:


    Our asses are too much for this blog 🙁

  454. Lainey says:

    @RookieSD ASS week is over and unless the blog members are fans of Kim K, Amber Rose etc. I doubt they’d want to see these cakes

  455. ErikTheRed says:

    18-26; the average life span is now 80+, not 70.

  456. ErikTheRed says:


    To be fair, while 200k-250k is the cutoff line for top 1-2% for individual income, women between the ages of 18-25 probably account for 80-90% of the top 10% most sexually attractive (to perhaps 80-90% of heterosexual men); i.e. correlation between the top 10% and being in that specific age group is 0.8-0.9. So woman between 18-25 in the top 10-20% among her age peers can probably fulfill the requirement of being in the top 3% or so of the overall female population in terms of sheer sexual attractiveness. Apriori probability vs. general probability.

  457. PimpinSD says:


    I’ll lick it if you let me

  458. yougottabekiddingme says:

    Kiss my ass, Pimpin

  459. THEATLSD says:


  460. SexyRockstar says:


    I want some jiffy. Are you down? Lets jiffy togetherrrrrrr

  461. PimpinSD says:

    Good afternoon my sweetness.

  462. SexyRockstar says:


    LOL. <3

  463. VegasSB says:

    Lol sarcasm isn’t picked up… She completely missed it

  464. yougottabekiddingme says:

    “SexyRockstar says:
    February 8, 2015 at 12:27 pm
    Dear VegasSB:

    Thank you for being so lovely. As you can see from my past post…my spelling is on point. When I type on this blog, sometimes it’s at like 4 am. I do not care. I actually talk about how important spelling and grammar is.

    Nice to meet you.

    As you can also tell, I have many SBs reach out to ME for help. Why? Because I am fucking amazing. My SD is fucking amazing. Everyone on THIS blog likes me.

    Shit happens right? Right.”


    A popular question comes to mind. Are you here to learn, or are you here to argue and whine?

  465. SexyRockstar says:

    …I guess sarcasm doesn’t get picked up.

    What apart of blogging is shady? I’ve been on this blog for awhile. Setting up a legit business isn’t shady either. There is already another girl who does it…very successful at it…it starts with blogs, people liking you, and moving forward.

    All I am is a girl, who has had success on here, sharing opinions and spelling errors to the world, and willing to help. I’ve had many people reach out to me…sharing their new success due to my suggestions and actually thanked me for it. That is the greatest feeling ever. Some choose to public post it on here, others just email me.

    I am mean, honest, and friendly all at the same time. I’ve told girls I do not want to help them because they’ve simply asked me
    “I need 500 dollars or my drug dealer is going to be so mad, what do I say to these guys to get them to give me 500 dollars?”

    I say: Well, I hope you stop doing drugs. I’ve never made a guy give me money for a drug dealer, ssssooo, maybe back page? I don’t know? Hit up a strip club? Drugs are bad mmmkkkkaaayyyy.

  466. VegasSB says:

    How are people so willing to accept advice from someone with no creditable sources? I am supposed to firmly believe she’s useful based on what? Because people are talking to her here? I don’t understand at all lol. Advice from someone with no creditability. Sign me up, and here’s my ssn too

  467. SouthernSB says:

    @Josh-Maybe I am missing the point of @FunDude’s argument. He is saying that women who are not worthy are looking for “substantial” allowances from really attractive men and that they expect the men to have no standards even though the women have these huge standards for the men and that it’s just delusional, and @FunDude has no intention of giving these women no allowance. Is that the case, because if it is I totally get it.

    What I was saying is that if the whole thing is making @FunDude so sick, maybe he should just chuck it, find a 6 or 7 pump and dump her and his problems would be over. Why whine, obese and unattractive girls are going to continue to spend their whole lives watching movies like “Frozen,” “50 Shades,” “Twilight,” “Magic Mike,” and even “Beauty and the Beast” and think that someday they will get to run away with the overly attractive prince. It’s the only thing that keeps these women from offing themselves, when they are sitting at home on Friday nights instead of going to the clubs and getting turned down again and again. The not so attractive, overweight, and socially adept have to have their Oprah moments, it gives them hope, but make no mistake in the end they always settle, always.

    I just wanted @Kenna to have as good a time as she could. I don’t even know if she’s still in the hospital so maybe her SD can smuggle some affogato in for her. 😉

  468. yougottabekiddingme says:

    And Lainey takes one for the team.

  469. VegasSB says:


    We all know how the opinions and love of people on the Internet is a wonderful thing. If catfishes can’t feel at home on the Internet.. What good would it be? I’m happy you have such an warm embrace from complete strangers. Please tell me more about how fabulous you are and how this isn’t shady at all. By the way since this is the Internet i am the queen of the Arabia.
    Because everything on the Internet is true.

  470. Lainey says:

    @Kenna my birthday wishes for you are good health, higher self-esteem, and sparking new friendships IRL! Lmao

  471. SexyRockstar says:

    Dear VegasSB:

    Thank you for being so lovely. As you can see from my past post…my spelling is on point. When I type on this blog, sometimes it’s at like 4 am. I do not care. I actually talk about how important spelling and grammar is.

    Nice to meet you.

    As you can also tell, I have many SBs reach out to ME for help. Why? Because I am fucking amazing. My SD is fucking amazing. Everyone on THIS blog likes me.

    Shit happens right? Right.

  472. VegasSB says:

    That’s interesting. I wonder what she brings to the table. She can’t possibly get away from her own husband often enough to fully be involved in an arrangement.

  473. AmusedSD says:

    I just had a SB e-mail. 31, married and about a 4 in looks, asking for ‘Substantial’ allowance.

    I just told her that normally single college aged bikini models get substantial. Nothing in the world would compel me to pay $90k a year to date a married woman, but that I hope she dons what she was looking for elsewhere.

  474. VegasSB says:


    By the way.. It’s this world is ours. Not this word…if you’re going to have a blog. Spelling counts. Haven’t read over your post but I’m pretty sure they might contain some as well.

  475. RookieSD says:

    “DONT GET IT TWISTED I’m STILL a bitch!”

    Well bitch, let’s see a nice ass gravatar instead that lame one you had before…

  476. VegasSB says:

    rocker you can email search your tumblr profile

  477. KennaKenna says:

    @Lainey guess what? It’s my freaking birthday so I can talk about it how much I want.

    You are the only one complaining!!! Now leave me alone!

  478. SexyRockstar says:


    email me bitches


  479. SexyRockstar says:

    I am @FunDudes perfect woman.

    He just isn’t perfect for me.

  480. Lainey says:

    NOTE TO EVERYONE ON THE BLOG: Just because my opinion is in line with yours SOMETIMES does not mean I’ve changed my opinion about you. I do not sing Kumbaya. It does not make us friends. This is the fucking internet. We just agreed once or twice, DONT GET IT TWISTED I’m STILL a bitch!

  481. Ladyscarlett says:

    “FunDude says:
    February 8, 2015 at 10:45 am

    You are basically saying that. I have yet to hear a coherent arguments from you as to the value SBs give to SDs that pay them an allowance.”

    I cannot speak for what any and every SB brings to the table, as far as value, but will give you what I know, or my experience…The answer is simple…If we are both interested in each other, then I explain to him what I think will bring value to his life, and justification of an allowance, then he decides whether or not he would be willing to do this, while I also decide if we are a good fit. This process is not just him picking, but us both looking for something of value(where the mutual part comes in). I have turned down some who you would probably think I should be begging to have an arrangement with, hehe. However, I only see those who are interested in long-term, or appear to be, anyway, and they have mostly long-distance.

    You read his profile(I prefer profiles that are well-written and give an idea of what he wants), and you make yourself his fantasy come true. I have had some very good experiences, in the past, so while what I offer is not for everyone, it has been for some.

    I have also been called very empathetic, a healer, confident, a good listener…and symmetrical face, too, but never thought much about that, until you mentioned it. I think being a soft place for him to fall, and empathic is very important, just as much as the intimate parts. But hey, it depends on what you are looking for. Is hard to give a one size fits all answer that applies to every SD. He will only pay an allowance for something he sees as valuable, so that is not the same for every sugar daddy. So, the SD that is only interested in the perfect 10’s for arm candy is not the SD I would market to or appeal to, anyway. I really encourage you to make a fake female profile, and look at some of the men you say are in the high net worth categories.

  482. Lainey says:

    @Kenna I wait for the day when you own the stuff everyone sees you do on the blog but says nothing. You’ve been talking about your birthday for weeks.

    Perfect example of fishing: @Sexy asks if you and SD are doing well and you drop the hint “I’m your age today” (paraphrasing) a if to say JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T SEE ME MENTION MY BIRTHDAY THE OTHER 4 DOZEN TIMES ON THE BLOG HERE IS AN OPEN OPPORTUNITY TO TELL ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You’re 25 not 3. Get some confidence about yourself.

  483. resop2 says:

    Is “ghetto fabulous” a contradictory term?

  484. Lainey says:

    @JoeF Kenna was an attention whore WAAAAYY before the hospital

  485. resop2 says:

    @LadySandy: If you have messaged someone in the past then the conversation will have an annotation “this person has blocked you”.

  486. GeorgiaPeach says:

    So, please tell us all. What is your specific criteria for a perfect woman for YOU? Please include all details such as height, weight, hair color, race, hair length, nail polish color, lipstick color, etc. plus income, education, current job, etc. since you seem to enjoy these features. And is there a living female “human” you know of that can possibly meet all these specifics you are searching for now?

  487. FunDude says:


    I agree to a degree. There are certain features of a woman that define beauty.

    Obesity is never attractive except for less than 1% of men
    Younger is more attractive Older women (unless less than 20 or so). Some men even find younger than that better.
    Facial Symmetry is important
    Longer Hair better than Shorter Hair for most women.

    Women who fall out of those areas are objectively considered less physically attractive by the vast majority of men.

  488. Josh says:

    Kewl. My proxy and I just posted our respective comments at exactly the same time. 😉

  489. SexyRockstar says:

    For profile help/advice

    OH EVERYONE! Friday…it’s the 13th, aka Mistress day. Make sure you married SDs take care of your sugar babies 😉

    I am going to give Drummer the greatest night of his life

  490. Josh says:


    “Break your diet and have affogato, you deserve it.”

    Again, just cuz? 😉

  491. Josh says:


    ‘@FunDude-Perhaps you should go to dating 5 and 6 for free. Then you won’t have to worry about paying and they will always be grateful because they are “less than substantial.”’

    Do you understand @FunDude’s argument at all, or did you just feel like posting just cuz? 😉

  492. FunDude says:


    Interesting strawman argument that doesn’t address anything I have said.

    If you want to debate my points, which I am sure you can’t do, then let me know. Until then, don’t address me with shaming language or straw man arguments.

  493. SouthernSB says:

    @Kenna-I know how you feel, I was born with congenital heart defects that no one knew about until I was in my 20’s. When I got the open heart surgery at the age of 25 the doctors were marveling over the fact that I had made it and hadn’t passed away at the age of 10. I just found out a few weeks ago that I only had a 40% change of coming out of that surgery. So go on, enjoy your birthday and scream it from the rooftops, you’re 25 and alive!!! Break your diet and have affogato, you deserve it.

  494. Josh says:

    Re: Let’s Get Confused with the 10.

    When a 10 is chosen in a beauty competition, it is supposedly based on “objective” and “non-sexual” context.

    When a 10 is mentioned in a dating context, it’s a combination of looks and chemistry from the point of view of the other partner. A 10 for me does not have to be 10 for @FunDude or @JoeF or anyone else.

    This is why @Lainey frequently takes issue when I call many women beautiful and/or gorgeous. She maybe looking at the girl in question from an “objective” point of view, whereas I am looking at her from a subjective point of view, as I do like women of a varying looks. 😉

  495. SouthernSB says:

    @FunDude-Perhaps you should go to dating 5 and 6 for free. Then you won’t have to worry about paying and they will always be grateful because they are “less than substantial.”

  496. KennaKenna says:

    And you probably would never understand it but my parents have been told for several years when I was younger that I wouldn’t make it to a certain age.

    So every year, every birthday it’s a celebration.

  497. Josh says:


    “Also, you can only fix their profiles so much. If the underlying person behind the profile isn’t that good, that can’t be fixed.”

    Good point. That’s why @Sexy asks probing questions and only edits what the SBs write instead of writing profiles for them.

    Among the recent bloggers, I don’t see much hope for @LadySandy and @ToddyVibeHigh. The latter may have better chance than the former, she has shared her profile id, and has received specific feedback.

  498. SouthernSB says:

    @Lainey-Is that for me? My B-day is coming up in a couple of weeks, but I’m not fishing for B-day wishes.

  499. KennaKenna says:

    @Lainey did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

    I’m not fishing for birthday wishes, I’m just freaking excited. Birthdays are a really big deal for me- from childhood to now! So yes I will scream “It’s my freaking birthday” at the top of my voice!

  500. FunDude says:


    You are basically saying that. I have yet to hear a coherent arguments from you as to the value SBs give to SDs that pay them an allowance.

    How do the less attractive SBs compete? You have yet to say how they do this. All you say is that there are “SDs for everyone” basically and that even less attractive women can expect to find a SD.

  501. Godivasweet says:


    I’m going to email you as I’m changing my profile and would like it looked over.

  502. FunDude says:

    If an 8 has a much better personality and is fun in the sack, then she can compensate against the 10s.

    However, there are women who are 7s, who have personalities like top models. I find that more common than the converse.

    I don’t see any significant correlation between a good personality and attractiveness.

    • Madison says:

      There are also ladies who are considered 3s and 4s who are still humble enough to request “practical” and still be a 10 personality wise.

  503. Ladyscarlett says:

    “@Lady Scarlett

    Yeah I mean guys in the top 1-2% of income are always looking for older fatties to spend big bucks on.

    Why wouldn’t they?

    I mean MEN aren’t allowed any standards right? I learned this in my feminism 101 course.”

    That is NOT what I meant. When you are ready for a more sensical and mature debate, then will address this to you, and what I meant. But, you will just twist it around again to make what I am saying all about the ‘fatties and uglies deserve high allowances’, which I have never once said.

  504. JoeF says:

    Give Kenna a break, she probably in hospital still and bored out of her skull.

    Think I said earlier today, but her goes again. Happy birthday sweety and get well soon.

  505. FunDude says:


    If an 8 has a much better personality and is fun in the sack, then she can compensate against the 10s.

    However, there are women who are 7s, who have personalities like Victoria secret models. I find that more common than the converse.

    I don’t see any significant correlation between a good personality and attractiveness.

  506. Lainey says:

    Just curious if someone is going to spend all day fishing for birthday wishes as they spent the last weeks letting us know it was approaching. Again I ask: do you have friends IRL?

  507. FunDude says:

    Also, you can only fix their profiles so much. If the underlying person behind the profile isn’t that good, that can’t be fixed.

    Men who pay an “allowance” are going to be a lot more discerning then guys who just try to hook up for free or go on traditional “dates”.

  508. JoeF says:

    Brains, good personality and skills in the bed can make up for not being top 1 or 2%.

    Will take a slim 7 or even 6 over that perfect 10 model with no brain, lousy personality and that seem to have learned about sex in a quick jerk off massage institute. And a smokers breath that makes me think of jumping into that crystal clear mountain lake only to find out it’s a toxic waste dump. Been there, done that. Sadly.

    But that seven girl need to work hard for it to last

  509. FunDude says:


    To each his own. “Sugar” can be just done through trips. vacations, restaurants, etc. Doesn’t require an “allowance”.

    Depends on the arrangement.

    However, if I am paying an “allowance”, I will expect a much higher quality female than when I am just “dating” her.

    For some reason, women like LadyScarlett are unable to understand this concept.

    Why would a man pay an allowance for a woman who is substandard? Not logical.

  510. Josh says:


    By the way, even from POF/Match, I have no intention of meeting women without allowance. I would just turn them into sugar after a couple of initial meet and greet sessions, and when the intimacy starts. 😉

  511. Nikki says:

    @Josh: I told him I was just going to keep looking because, and I was honest, I felt skeptical about how the travel and lodging arrangements and he was rude about it so whatever

  512. FunDude says:


    LOL good point

    @Lady Scarlett

    Yeah I mean guys in the top 1-2% of income are always looking for older fatties to spend big bucks on.

    Why wouldn’t they?

    I mean MEN aren’t allowed any standards right? I learned this in my feminism 101 course.

  513. GeorgiaPeach says:

    Hi Ms Sexy!
    I am fine. Nice weekend here in GA – bright, sunny and warm and quiet for a change, particularly when much of the world is such a mess. Sure hope you feel better soon! That nasty stuff that’s going around is certainly no fun!

  514. Josh says:


    You may be correct. The amount of screening that is currently required at SA is just insane. The better approach may be to hire a virtual assistant and let them work POF/Match for you.

  515. Ladyscarlett says:

    Ladysandy, don’t pay attention to Josh, your desire for an SD who makes over $200,000 is perfectly reasonable… That is your business. You do not have to post your profile to prove anything to anyone. And, you most certainly do not have to be a top 1%-2%, of women, in order to meet someone of higher net worth on SA. If that were the case, then would have never had any arrangement with the SDs I have had.

  516. FunDude says:


    Im not kidding about the quality of POF vs Seeking Arrangement.

    I think there is still more potential for SA but it takes work. Considering you have to pay for an “arrangement” on SA, I would expect the quality to be MUCH higher on SA.

    However, the discrepancy isn’t that significant despite the vast differences in costs for arrangements.

  517. Nikki says:

    @Josh: I agree but I don’t know anything about the area he lives in. I don’t know anything about that state

  518. SouthernSB says:

    @Kenna-Happy birthday from one Aquarius to another!!! My B-day is next Monday and I don’t feel a day older than 25 even though I am twice that. That’s a tip, as long as you keep your health, you never really feel old.

    @Sexy-Sorry you’re sick, but as long as your Jr. Posse (the kids) are there I’m sure you’ll feel better soon.

  519. Sparkles says:

    Rock Star,
    You should go for it. I’ve sent you an email check it out (Not for help. Just to Fill you in)

  520. Josh says:


    “So even with free flight benefits should I even chance going out there?”

    Why not? The biggest expense is taken care of. You can take a little bit of risk as long as you stick to the safer/familiar sections of the destination city.

  521. SexyRockstar says:


    I am slowly turning my profile help and such into a potential business adventure. I have had so much success on SA, and I want to work with SA in helping everyone be successful. Some people are not cut out for the sugar life, but at least I can help people get started.

    SA has been so good to me, so anyway I can give back, I do

    I had some nice hot soup. Drinking fluids.

  522. KennaKenna says:

    @Sexy awwww hope you feel better! And if you don’t think about it too much, time will fly and before you know it- it’ll be time to see Drummer again.

    Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes.

  523. Josh says:

    FunDude says:
    February 8, 2015 at 7:55 am
    Its scary when you find better women on POF than Seeking Arrangement.

    I have done an experiment where I have put a profile on both POF and Seeking Arrangement.

    So far, the women I am able to meet for free on POF are equal in quality to the SA women.

    Interesting huh?”

    Interesting indeed. I gave up on POF when they instituted the 14 years maximum age gap. I believe that they have quietly lifted that requirement as my searches show women with a gap greater than 14 years.

    Maybe I should renew my POF membership instead of SA’s. 😉

  524. Nikki says:

    So even with free flight benefits should I even chance going out there?

  525. Sparkles says:

    I certainly think they should change how people reply and respond on these blog pages. There seems to be a great deal of mutual acquaintances and friendship here. Potential friendships and I think it would be easier to have access to one another. Obviously Rock star is a great asset to many girls here.

    I wonder how often SA will take suggestions. I think changing how the blog works would be useful to many SBs, SDs and observers.

  526. Josh says:


    Are you here to learn or to argue?

    The only way to find out if you are in top 1-2% of the female overall or at SA is only by seeing you profile.

  527. Josh says:

    @Sexy, sorry to hear that you’re sick. Chicken soup!!!

  528. SexyRockstar says:

    Hello miss Georgia Peach!
    How was your weekend?!?1

  529. GeorgiaPeach says:

    Hello All. Just wanted to see how everyone is doing.
    I suspect we know how the Birthday Girl is doing now that she’s 1/4 Century old today. (Actually, I’m testing this to see if it will let me post since I here there may be some problems!)

  530. Nikki says:

    @Tracey: I agree with you as another woman of color.
    I think it would be beneficial and an entertaining topic to bring up the red flags of sugar dating as far as common red flags on a “SD” and “SB” profile

  531. SexyRockstar says:

    Happy birthday love. I was out with Drummer, came home, and seriously like BAM! Got really sick, and just been laying in bed, then the kids were reading me stories and such, singing to me so mama can feel better.

    Maybe I just get sick without him? HAHAHA.

    But to any SBs who have emailed me:
    I am back and will be responding to everyone later today

  532. Sparkles says:

    Blarg…. typos 🙁

  533. Godivasweet says:

    Poor Godivasweet?…You made some OK points Sparkles. You missed the point of my statement, whether you just make a general guide for all SBs or one just for a particular group of SBs it will still be a generalization. So if it pertained to you then own it and make changes if you like , and if it didn’t then by-pass it. Last I checked this was an open blog space so responses may be given.

  534. Sparkles says:

    @KennaKenna. There is no reply button here. It isn’t a forum. I’m not here to be nasty or argue with people with back and forth. You do not have to read my opinion much like I don’t have to read yours. I posted. I posted what I felt and what I wanted to say in regards with the blog. If you are offended in something I said I’m sorry? However I’m not here to go back and forth, nor am I here to say I actually care for someone’s unsolicited opinion in response to anything I posted. Just like others are feel to say the same in regards to me.
    It’s the internet. Relax

  535. FunDude says:

    Although the overall ratio SB:SDs is about 8-10:1, the number of actual high quality SBs is much lower.

    Considering mostly lower quality SBs and fake SDs, the real ratio of quality SDs to SBs is probably around 1 to 1.

    SDs with income equal to or great than 200K (or top 2% in asset class) compared to women in the top 1-2% of population would be about even in ratio.

    Ergo, most of the SBs will be not worth the time for the SDs that actually fall into the desired categories.

  536. KennaKenna says:

    @Sexy things are grrr… Great!

    I’m the same age as you now! Woohoo!

  537. SexyRockstar says:

    I am back.
    I am sick and not feeling well.
    @Kenna, how are things with you?

  538. KennaKenna says:


    “I’m not here to hear someone else’s point of view”

    But we must hear yours?? What a selfish thing to say! We all learn from each other here.

  539. FunDude says:

    I always find it amusing that women actually think they are doing men a favor by having the men pay of “activities, trips, etc”.

    I also find it amusing that women demand a minimum of 200K as if it is peanuts for a salary and all men of any worth make more. Considering less than 2% of men make more than this number, it is rare for men to make this much.

    Also, most men who make >200K are in their 50s and 60s.

    Men in their 30s and 40s who make 200K or more are probably less than 1% of men in those respective age categories.

    If women want a “younger, physically fit SD (30s-40s) that makes at least 200K”, they better be in the top 1% of women to warrant that.

    All I hear is their “wants” but never the justification as to why they deserve this level of money.

    Ladies, we all know you want “trips, activities, allowances, etc”. You have to PROVE why you DESERVE THIS.

  540. Sparkles says:

    @KennaKenna. I have no doubt that there are a bunch of rachet girls on here. I have my own personal feelings to the word attachment of “Ghetto” to Brown girls. But you are right. I’ve seen some profiles on here that are hilarious and I have to wonder if they are actually real…in which they are!

    I haven’t posted on the blogs before, so I’m not sure what exactly you might have run across specifically. But I agree… there are some very interesting Brown profiles that leave me confused and they do fill the shoes of offensive stereotypes.
    P.s how do I get a photo up?

  541. Sparkles says:

    @LadySandy. I saw your discussion. I don’t care about it. I was only replying to HIS remark and how I can understand HIS point of view(in that ONE comment about not telling his SB how much he makes). Other than that.. I don’t care about the back and for with you two. Not enough to be mentioned.

  542. KennaKenna says:

    @Sparkles I’m a brown sugar baby and the article had to be written because too many ghetto fabulous girls come on the blog asking for advice.

    If you are a non-ghetto, educated brown SB- you will do well as I have simply because the demand is there but not the supply. I want to say 80-90% of the brown girl profiles I see has something that puts them in that stereotype. It is very very easy for a woman of color to come off as an escort in her profile.

  543. FunDude says:


    Men who make over 200K (individual per capita) are in the top 2% of income brackets in the USA.
    That is why they have the 200K cut off for individuals and 250K for couples. They are trying to hit the top 2% of incomes with more taxes.

    Are you in the top 2% of females to warrant this?

    I find it amusing that you think 200K is such a small income considering the statistics. The equivalent female would be in the top 2%.

    I know what you “expect”, just haven’t heard anything special that you are offering. Big deal you want trips ,activities , etc. All women want that.

    There are tons of fatty BBWs, older women, etc that want the same exact thing. They are far from being in the top 2% of women. What makes you different than them?

  544. LadySandy says:

    @Sparkles I don’t need to know what he makes exactly but I’m talking about SDs that have less than 200 000$ in their income and put negotiable in their range..I know they won’t meet the range I’m looking for…if he puts my range or higher (and he is serious)..I don’t care if he lied about what he made in his income and I don’t need a number or wtv since I’m not his wife.

    Anyways I gtg but have fun everyone and I will read all this when I get back tonight!

  545. Sparkles says:

    Poor Godivasweet.. You are right in saying that there is a stigma amount us Brown SBs. I’m not here to stand up for the women who are going with that stigma and stereotype. However the point is to not generalize. Not ever Brown SB is ghetto. So I’m not sure why you are even responding? I’m not here to hear someone else’s point of view or be swayed to just accept that I’m placed into a box for being brown.
    If you are okay with the cell without walls you’re in. So be it, but I attain to be better and show only that.

  546. LadySandy says:

    @FunDude Eliminating SDs that make less than 200 000$ is a high standard??? WOW guess there is no sugar on this website after all then if that’s a high number when they expect intimacy and availability whenever they want with no headache like a normal gf..they should get an escort or a gf with all the problems associated to it then! I don’t want a SD that just wants to see me at my apartment for sex than leave and not contact me until the next time (escorts are there for that)..I want a connection, travels, activities together..etc.. No worries, I said what I bring to the table on my profile for my potentials SDs..it is afterall a mutual beneficial arrangement when it’S actually a real SD/SB relationship.

  547. Godivasweet says:

    @sparkle, truth be told there is a stigma amongst brown sugars and there are many that are quite ghetto fabulous. Many have proven this “stereotype” or “association” to be true. Just put on the shoe where it fits and leave the rest.

  548. Sparkles says:

    Reading these comments fill me with entertainment and laughter.

    @Dazed-SD. I can respect that you don’t tell your SB or any SB you’re earning, and you shouldn’t! I have never wanted to know what my SD made. It’s not my business. That information doesn’t benefit me in the least. I’ve always told him that. It’s not my money, so why should I worry about it? As long as he continues to give the agreed allowance I am find with that.

  549. FunDude says:


    You have pretty high standards in your potential sugar daddy.

    Please let me know what you are bringing to the table to warrant such high standards.

  550. LadySandy says:

    Ps. I also wanted to know if people can find out that we blocked them? Like if we messaged in the past..do the box for reply disappear and they can’t access our page or something like that?

  551. Sparkles says:

    Why is Ghetto fabulous associated with Brown sugar babies? That was completely unnecessary. Why is it needed to tell Brown Sugars to take being chosen “seriously” as if they don’t? I am failing to see why this has to be said, especially under the brown sugar guide? Other than that, you could have just made this a guide for all sugar babies.

    The only one good thing about this post is the last paragraph.

    -Signed a Brown Sugar Baby.

  552. resop2 says:

    @THEATLSD: I posted a while back on songs that SD’s don’t want to hear. Yes, it would probably be a bad omen if any of the following came up while going to meet a SB:
    Gold Digga – Kanye West
    Beck – Loser
    B-Rock, The Bizz – Just My Baby Daddy
    Flight of the Conchords – Too Many on the Dance Floor
    AC/DC – The Jack

    @Maddis0n: There are no proper forums for this site because adding them would add utility and value to the website. SA is more interested in removing utility and value to the website (for example setting up a “competing” website that is free to SB who can verify the information on their profiles, thus leaving only fake SB’s on this website).

  553. LadySandy says:

    @Dazed-SD Ok that is understandable in some cases but I’m mostly saying in cases where people put income as 200 000$ and less (especially if net worth is less than a 1 million too)..I know they won’t be able to treat me the way I want to be treated and are probably the ones that will ask that I host at my place most of the times…so I prefer not to message those people and focus on other people more in the range that I’m looking for.

    by the way anyone knows if there is a way to “hide” that we read a message? Is that a feature available to some membership package?

  554. Dazed-SD says:

    why do I put “negotiable” because it is.

  555. Dazed-SD says:

    @ladysandy, ” I check both the income and net worth and then I do the 10% from the income (someone mentioned that in a past comment on a blog post) divided by 12 to see their monthly allowance possibility (it’s just an estimate and I know it doesn’t mean much but it helps eliminate candidates”

    I will respectfully disagree with you and my Brother @online. I don’t put real numbers in the income and assets, and I do put negotiable in the expectations box. Here’s why, because as long as we agree to what your allowance is, why do you care how much money I make ? Also, there is no SB that will ever know how much I make, or my assets, Never !
    But I will say this in full disclosure, there are only 3 people in my life that I give 10K a month to, 1 – my ex-wife, because she is an awesome Mom to my 3 kids, 2- my 2 daughters. period.

  556. Maddis0n says:

    My question is……why are there no proper forums for this website? Or am I just an idiot and don’t see them? <_<

  557. tracey says:

    I think that women of color are not given a chance on on SA. Speaking for myself, I’v sent several messages to guys on this site with no responses. There are a lot of beautiful, professional women of color on this site who would love to meet successful men of all races. Please don’t stereotype all of us into 1 category, because you could very well be missing out on something beautiful.

  558. FunDude says:

    Its scary when you find better women on POF than Seeking Arrangement.

    I have done an experiment where I have put a profile on both POF and Seeking Arrangement.

    So far, the women I am able to meet for free on POF are equal in quality to the SA women.

    Interesting huh?

  559. FunDude says:


    Yes its true. They come with a large list of things they “want” from the SD but fail to mention any benefit they are giving.

    Delusional behavior is becoming more common these days.

  560. THEATLSD says:


    You have to provide the link or profile number so we can see it.

  561. THEATLSD says:

    thanks for clearing that up. @Lainey is @Kenna’s proxy. JFWU

    Yes paste the URL for the page or pic you want. In the website box. It seems to stay with that post. If you click on my first post today it will bring you to the gravatar page. All the other post “the finger”

    @ONSD Bro, I just got a hit from some hot chick in GRR. Sup wit dat?

    You are nucking futs. But thats why we love you!!!

  562. Bisou says:

    (PROFILE: https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/e1198cec/view)

    Hi everyone,

    I’m new to the site and was hoping a little constructive criticism could help me refine my profile. I’m not desperately seeking anyone but I’m interested to know what my profile says to a fresh set of eyes! Thanks in advance!


  563. Chrissy says:

    Why thank you darling, My SD thinks I have a purdy mouth.

    My link is totally better though!

  564. Bisou says:

    Hi everyone,

    I’m new to the site and was hoping a little constructive criticism could help me refine my profile. I’m not desperately seeking anyone but I’m interested to know what my profile says to a fresh set of eyes! Thanks in advance!


  565. yougottabekiddingme says:

    Re: No hope…I was talking to Lainey. Her post made me giggle.

    “BTW click on my blog name. What comes up? I want to make sure it works.”

    Rockstar shit! Lol. Nice :). I wanna, I wanna…do I just link whatever page I want?


    Sexy lips, lady ;).

  566. THEATLSD says:


    I just Binged “Merkin” thats some crazy shit.

    BTW click on my blog name. What comes up? I want to make sure it works.

  567. THEATLSD says:

    “I like your avatar, ATL”
    Thanks for that but the “No Hope” comment has me worried.

  568. yougottabekiddingme says:

    Hehe…I like your avatar, ATL

  569. yougottabekiddingme says:

    “ss1959 says:
    February 8, 2015 at 6:12 am
    Re: “carpet muncher”. Does this expression make any sense at all in the age of bald pussies?”

    Apparently, we’re in the age of the merkin.

    Do a quick google images search, and feel inspired.

  570. JoeF says:

    Happy Birthday Kenna!!!!!

  571. THEATLSD says:

    @resop2 or RookieSD
    I forgot which one of you posted about the right music playing going to a meet with a POT. Last week I was going for second meet with POT SB and I forget to set up my music in the order I like to hear going to the meets. So right before I got to the place, Beck’s “Loser” came on. Not what I wanted to hear, just hope it wasn’t an omen.

  572. THEATLSD says:

    Do you have something typed in the “website’ box on the Leave a reply section of this blog? You do not need anything in that box to post. What it does is create your blog name into a clickable link. I highly recommend you remove what you have in that box.
    For all other newbies, lurkers and space cadets. You can actually put your SA profile link in that box. The bloggers that are looking for profile help, copy and paste your page address in there then tell us to click on your name. Makes it easier IMHO.

  573. ss1959 says:

    Re: “carpet muncher”. Does this expression make any sense at all in the age of bald pussies?

  574. at your earliest convenience*

  575. @LadyScarlett Cool beans, at your earliest convince Luv : >

    @YouGattaBeKidding You’re right lol I thought about the fact that I really have no clue what @Josh’s background is….I didn’t even realize his avatar was Brad Pitt until I got a good look at it lol But, I agree…no one should not have to be someone’s race in order to relate to them. With that said, numerical results do not equate to anyone’s human experience.

    I got you on the aggressive banshee vibe I’m giving off on my profile lol…I’ve highlighted that as a revision for my profile makeover I have planned in a couple of days. Security on both ends is important to me, that’s all. Once I make my profile over with the advice of the helpful SB’s and SD’s who’ve reached out I believe it’ll weed out the flakers, fakers, and not run SD’s off lol I am thoroughly appreciating the trial and error experience : > Thanks hunny bun!

  576. PimpinSD says:

    Happy birthday to you, happy birth day to you( in my best Marilyn Monroe voice).

  577. KennaKenna says:

    @Georgia thank youuu!

    Happy birthday to me!!!

  578. Josh says:

    Living apart Together?


  579. Josh says:

    Dating equals Porking


  580. LadySandy says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD I do give priority to SDs that actually put an amount that is similar to mine or higher and not the ones that are “negotiable”. But some that say negotiable then put more details about what they mean in their description so it really all depends but I try to stay away from the “negotiable” ones like recommended on a previous blog/comment.

  581. GeorgiaPeach says:

    Honey, I am so glad your folks and a couple siblings came to surprise you! Less than 1/2 hour now until you turn over another page…. all the way to 25. Congrat’s and Happy Birthday! Hope that special SD of yours goes all the way with something great for you and I hope you’re feeling better soon.

    I’m gonna go read for a while, so I’ll say goodnight. You better get some rest,too. Bet you’ll need it for tomorrow! 🙂

  582. Josh says:

    I am not too keen about multiple wives part, but…drum roll please…

    “temporary” wives = sugar 😉

  583. “That said, Muslims do know how to keep women in control with methods EXPRESSLY sanctioned by their scripture. Such as, multiple wives, “temporary” wives, whacking wives, father’s default ownership of the children, three-strike-and-you’re-out divorce on man’s whims, etc. ”

    You’re on fire for sure, babe. Don’t let these bitches hold you down. You go, boy!

  584. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @LadySandy – if you’ve been reading past blogs, you should know to steer clear of the “Negotiable” category SDs…they’re looking for the cheap way into your pants, just like the SBs in that category are looking for the most money to spread their legs!

  585. Josh says:


    “I know it’s pretty hard to fuck with a box on your head. A paper bag? Maybe. A box? Short comings.”

    Nonsensical ass-u-mptions continue. 😉

  586. Josh says:

    Also inheritance is divided among men and women’s family members based on scripturally mandated guidelines.

  587. Josh says:

    Where is FB?

  588. Josh says:


    “@Josh you’re on fire tonight!

    Wait, now I think about it, you’re always on fire!”

    Guru is what Guru does! 😉

  589. Josh says:


    “Maybe we should just let the Muslims take it all over. They would probably lead to more gender equity than this gynocentric society.”

    That would be another sad era in history BUT out of control and delusional feminists and their foot soldiers are taking us in that direction…

    That said, Muslims do know how to keep women in control with methods EXPRESSLY sanctioned by their scripture. Such as, multiple wives, “temporary” wives, whacking wives, father’s default ownership of the children, three-strike-and-you’re-out divorce on man’s whims, etc. 😉

  590. Josh says:

    Sean Connery in 1987.


  591. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh you’re on fire tonight!

    Wait, now I think about it, you’re always on fire!

  592. “6. How do you know what my current pussy availability situation is?”

    I know it’s pretty hard to fuck with a box on your head. A paper bag? Maybe. A box? Short comings.

    “My pussy situation is well provided for, and currently NOT in the mood to deal with yet another cunt.”

    Awww…I’m torry, Joshiepoo.

    9. Your ass-u-mption that men on SA are constantly chasing pussy is unfounded and yet another figment your fertile imagination.”

    That has never, ever been an assumption of mine, nor a comment Ive ever made. K, dental dam?

  593. LadySandy says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD Thank you for the info and I will take that into consideration next time. Those calculations are not an exact science (although when the”experienced” SD explained it in a previous blog..it made sense) but it just helps knowing if we are in the same “allowance” range especially when they put “negotiable” instead of a specific range.

  594. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @LadySandy – using those types of calculations to determine the likelihood of a SD candidate could be a problem, I know I don’t use real numbers, and even if I did, I don’t sugar out of income because I’m married, I sugar out of cash flow and business accounts…neither of those are reflected by the profile boxes!

  595. LadySandy says:

    haha thanks 🙂 No worries I read hours and hours of these blogs and comments this past week to know more about SA so I don’t need approval from Josh or anyone about whether I’m experienced enough to give advice on something that is just common sense. Like I said, no harm done, they can take my “advice” or leave it. I was just being nice and trying to be helpful, didn’t know it was frowned upon in this blog 😛

  596. Josh says:


    “He has the ability to increase your odds ten fold, but somehow complains that lately he is unable to produce results for himself”

    1. “Logic” is not a female’s strongest trait, is it?

    2. To write nonsense does not mean that the writer has logical sense.

    3. To increase a woman’s odds with a man is infinitely more doable than increasing a man’s odds with a woman. Why? Man’s goalpost is relatively fixed. Women’s goalpost is constantly shifting based on the girlfriends she is “communicating” with at a given moment in time.

    4. I only help women who show the right attitude toward men.

    5. My advice is superior enough that even the women WITHOUT right attitude toward men can benefit from it.

    6. How do you know what my current pussy availability situation is?

    7. I am very STD conscious. I don’t take STD risks unless if I it is absolutely unavoidable.

    8. My pussy situation is well provided for, and currently NOT in the mood to deal with yet another cunt.

    9. Your ass-u-mption that men on SA are constantly chasing pussy is unfounded and yet another figment your fertile imagination.

  597. Josh says:


    “He has the ability to increase your odds ten fold, but somehow complains that lately he is unable to produce results for himself”

    1. “Logic” is not a female’s strongest trait, is it?

    2. To write nonsense does not mean that the writer has logical sense.

    3. To increase a woman’s odds with a man is infinitely more doable than increasing a man’s odds with a woman. Why? Man’s goalpost is relatively fixed. Women’s goalpost is constantly shifting based on the girlfriends she is “communicating” with at a given moment in time.

    4. I only help women who show the right attitude toward men.

    5. My advice is superior enough that even the women with right attitude toward men can benefit from it.

    6. How do you know what my current pussy availability situation is?

    7. I am very STD conscious. I don’t take STD risks unless if I it is absolutely unavoidable.

    8. My pussy situation is well provided for, and currently NOT in the mood to deal with yet another cunt.

  598. KennaKenna says:

    @NYSD yay another New Yorker here!

    Welcome 🙂

  599. KennaKenna says:

    @Rookie so you’re just never gonna email me?

    Hmph -_-

  600. LadySandy…

    Josh is a number muncher…not to be confused with a carpet muncher. He has the ability to increase your odds ten fold, but somehow complains that lately he is unable to produce results for himself :(.

    Yes, Lady, you are right…

    Common sense does go a long way. It’s clearly something that neither the heavens nor the ivy leagues are dishing out these days.

  601. “PimpinSD says:
    February 7, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    Keep talking to me like that and you might end up bent over with your face stuffed in a pillow.”

    That would be an experience to call home about, daddy. Again…tell me where. I’m ready.

  602. LadySandy says:

    @Josh I don’t think I need experience about the sugar world to know when something smells fishy and to try to help another person.. Even if someone more “experienced” in the sugar world gives her advice, it’s still her decision to take it or not..in the end, it’s her life and money..
    Ps. I’m here to learn but doesn’t mean I’m not smart enough to give advice on something that is just common sense and have nothing to do with the sugar world!!

  603. Josh says:

    You’re welcome ten folds.

  604. Thank you, dear. Thank you ten folds.

  605. Josh says:


    Your posts are pretty telling as to what your “experiences” are on SA.

  606. “@y, sweetheart the persistent accusation that anyone who agrees with @Josh is his proxy means:”

    Never mind, Josh. I did not suggest anything about a proxy in that post. I was saying that she shouldn’t assume that your ability to relate or not is due to whatever she assumes your race to be. Follow, cowboy?

    As for my experiences on SA…

    You will know what I care to share. I take and share what I find useful on this blog, but I don’t need to throw a bunch of qualifiers or personal identifiers out there in order to feel validated. K, bruvva-man?