All of the best Sugar relationships take time, coupled with a firm understanding of what to expect from each other, be it emotional, financial, or any other element of a “traditional” relationship.
This means that a Sugar Baby’s ethnicity is going to be a factor in any arrangement, no matter what the racial background of the Sugar Daddy. However, a Baby of Black, Hispanic, Asian, or other ancestry can be a plus, not a minus, for many generous men.
We at SeekingArrangement receive countless questions and concerns from our “Brown Sugar” Babies. As a woman of color myself, I remind readers that any arrangement is meant to be discreet and offer both parties the maximum benefit, regardless of a Sugar Baby’s ethnic background. For more on this topic, check out the “Let’s Talk Sugar” YouTube page here.
This would be the time to check that weave, ladies. See my post on Buzzfeed about the biggest conversation faux pas: Asking, “Is that your real hair?”
Sometimes, hairwise, less really is more. If this question comes up, assume that your coiffure looks unpolished to potential SDs and it may be time to find a new hairstylist.
Try going for coifs that highlight your natural features. Those with high cheekbones may wear a pixie cut well. Someone with a longer neck may pull off the neat top-knot bun. Rapunzel locks are not the norm in the real world, and thats okay. Your Daddy will thank you for it.
Beyond hair, keep your makeup natural-looking. Leave the dramatic antics to the celebs—in other words, let them look like surprised clowns. When you start to give more of an Edvard Munch “The Scream” effect, rather than a natural beauty, its time to put the brush down.
Obviously, if a Sugar Daddy has selected y-o-u out of the hundreds and thousands of women available on the SeekingArrangement site, you’ve gotten one foot through the door. Keep in mind that a man of wealth is likely mature, well-established in a career, and although you may not be in his bracket of income, wants to establish a sense of quality with you.
Take this seriously, ladies.
At all costs avoid discussion of your ex-partners, baby daddies, outlandish sexcapades, or frequent references that mark for non-neutral conversation. As a Sugar Baby, your job is to be his treat at the end of a tough workday. A confidante outside of his possibly dysfunctional “normal” relationship. Or even the woman of his dreams who was unattainable before wealth became a reality..
Try to remain mindful of your arrangement. If your Sugar Daddy does not want to hear about your personal life, don’t talk about it. Call your bestie, call your mom, see a shrink.
If you want to maintain your “benefits” then you’ve got to get with the program. Unless your guy is genuinely interested in these topics, they shouldn’t become frequent dinner chatter in any relationship. This rule applies to Sugar Babies of any background.
When together with your Sugar Daddy, you are on his time and the best thing you can do is strive to be the mature, fun, drama-free partner he invited into his world. This means leaving any negative attitude at home, respecting his time/schedule, and maintaining maturity with all affairs involving your Sugar Daddy.
For example, if he asks you not to post photos for friends, that means nothing should see the light of day on Facebook, Twitter, or any other corner of the social media universe. That’s not being secretive—it’s demonstrating self-control.
You may think I’m talking about a woman’s actual gait, but this section is working at the next level. There are going to be Sugar Babies who prefer only to be passively wined and dined, and that’s okay. But occasionally, Sugar Daddies are ready to have intellectual conversations, even hoping for them. This is your moment to truly shine.
Don’t be afraid to show him that you are an educated woman. If you are pursuing an education, share that and ask him about his own experiences. If you are working on your own up-and-coming career, a Sugar Daddy could be the perfect mentor or professional contact for establishing a foothold in your chosen professional path.
Show him that your time with him is an investment both of you are making and for you, it’s not an evening of checking clocks until the date is done. You want to be than just a beautiful face—this tactic has potential to pay great dividends in the end!
Master these tips and you’ll shine as a knowledgeable and sophisticated Sugar Baby. There are tons of negative stigmas about women of color. There is no one answer that will quell every person’s apprehensiveness (or racism, for that matter), but these steps can be taken to make you an even sweeter “Brown Sugar” Baby. Get out there and show him you’re the Caramel Delight he needs in his life. You do that by keeping it classy, Babies.
What points would you add to our “Brown Sugar” Guide?