5 years ago
Calling All Sugar Storytellers!


The best part of the SeekingArrangement experience is all the fun you share with other members within the community. While some stories are best kept between the sheets, there are tons of juicy advice that fellow Sugar Daddy members of the community would love to read!

Envision our blog becoming the close friend you chat with while exchanging stories over a drink. Some stories will make you laugh, others will make you cry. Yet at the end of the night, you walk away with the satisfaction of finding advice and comfort from kindred spirits.

Visit the guest blog here: Tell Us Your Story

Revamping the SA Blog

Based on your requests for a more “involved” blog, we are offering open guest blog submissions. We want to make sure Sugar Daddy members have a stronger say in the content that’s posted for discussions.

This means you can now submit as many stories as you’d like, as often as you’d like, to be published on our blog. Submissions will briefly be reviewed for quality, then posted in the order received. Stories that are extremely lewd or inconsistent with the tone of the SA community will not be posted.

Our hope is that a cleaned-up SA blog, and topics that are user-derived will ring relevant to your interests sparking positive conversations.

Community Etiquette

Sugar carries into lifestyle choices, sexuality, and networking decisions. Members are drawn to our site from a variety of life’s circumstances.

All that we ask from contributing members are these two things: 1) that you share the newly improved SeekingArrangement blog with your friends via social media and page shares, and 2) that conversations remain respectful and open for dialogue amongst members.

We recently posted a survey for active SeekingArrangement members who might be interested in becoming Blog Moderators. After reviewing an overwhelming number of responses, we have selected members of differing backgrounds and varied levels of sugar experience to lead the voice of our community.

Our blog will exist as an outlet both written by site members, and lead by site members.


What are your thoughts on our new Guest Blogging feature?

Leave a Reply

606 Responses to “Calling All Sugar Storytellers!”

  1. KnottyNiceNurse says:

    I started reading some of the messages realizing how far they go back. I think an active blog would help people interact a little more. You can tell a lot about someone’s personality with how they respond. I had my first SD/SB experience in college. It wasn’t from a website. It was natural. It was one of the most exhilarating relationships I’d ever had. Then I dated men closer to my age at the time. Unfortunately, my expectations were set so high. I think most women’s mindset on here is instant gratification as for men too.

    Quality takes patience. If you meet someone quickly consider yourself very lucky. I’ve had a great experience on this site previously with someone that lasted almost two years. There were certain things discussed right up front that were off-limits. I think most women hope to find that man she can fall for that will sweep her off her feet. In the meantime, there are wonderful in-betweens (mine from college lasted three years). Now that I’m older I’m looking for that exhilarating feeling I had once before. The pleasure of witty banter goes a long way. You just have to be open minded.

    Things I’ve learned.. not everyone is who they seem or say they are. There is no easy way to figure that out. You just have to go with you intuition. Be honest with what you truly want not what you think you want. Make sure you’re completely honest with the other person. That way your expectations and their expectations match and no one is disappointed. Money doesn’t make anyone better. Some people are just ugly all the way through. There are gems placed sparingly. You just have to take the time to get to know them.

    I suggest you never meet in a private place. Make sure that person is aware there is no sex up front. Build up the chemistry, the sexual tension will occur naturally if there’s a spark. If they truly like you and respect you. They will wait. Not forever, but longer than the first date. If it’s there, it’s there. But, at the same token. Don’t expect them to bend over backwards to do anything financially or otherwise. If you’re seeking a monthly allowance talk about it in person. One time only. Don’t dread on it. Also, it’s hard to ask for an allowance when you’ve never even met the person. So, talking about it before hand is a waste. It’s one thing to mention a “range” expectation. But, don’t be delusional.

    There are different types of SD/SB’s on here:

    -Real SD’s looking for substance but don’t have time for traditional dating.
    -Real SD’s looking for a quick encounter. Enjoy a variety of women in different social settings.
    -Men who want to be SD’s and build up their self esteem by talking to pretty young ladies.
    -Men who have a little extra cash for quick encounters.

    Avoid the latter two. You can usually figure them out quickly.

    Sugar Babies:

    – Ones who are in desperate need but still looking for someone to care. Normally wouldn’t be here.
    – Others that are just in it for financial gain and probably belong on backpage. (Scammers)
    – Women who want to be wined/dined/well taken care of.
    – Ladies who are seeking a genuine and real connection with someone that has the desire to take care of them.
    – And then ones who are just kinky and enjoy open-minded fun.

    Happy Hunting and Good Luck Ladies & Gents. I think we all could use a little.


  2. Allen says:

    Hi to all beware scammers exist.
    I met a young girl on Seeking Arrangement. She listed her ethnicity as Latina but was African American. She was very pretty and we met around 9 times for sexual activity. From the first meeting she started complaining she was a struggling single mom and student. Even though we had agreed on a price for three meets monthly she started pressuring me to see her more often. It was becoming uncomfortable but I didn’t want to lose her cause it was new and the sex was banging. She eventually said she was going to be buying a house with her sister and needed to see me more to be able to afford her deposit. All was going well until she dropped the bomb that she and her son were being evicted from there apartment and needed to close on her house sooner. Well, I figured we were seeing each other anyway and offered her money in advance. We saw each other one more time and she just vanished. I was taken . To all Sugar daddies be warned not to fall into this trap. As much as you may think people are real, be very very careful because all isn’t what it may appear to be. I immediately got a full panel STI test and thankfully didn’t get anything other than a bad experience which I’ve already recovered from as I have found a truly cool new sugar babe.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hello there,

    I am knew to this. I haven’t had any luck in finding someone I have chemistry with. I am suppose I am average looking and in my 30s. So I am old to SB standards?Well I found I haven’t a met a man who doesn’t think I am sexy, not even one, assuming 60 % are lying. So I decided to use SB to screen through and find a real person there. I am here because I think man here could be educated and successful and wouldnt mind trying to prove themselves that they are for real. I believe if a man makes you feel comfortable talking about your needs and is willing to act like a prince in the beginning, he should be the one starting to negotiate the allowance not me. If he he badly wants me he will ask . Am I right??

  4. Anonymous says:

    I joined S.A.about a year ago by curiosity(and for fun as I don’t really have time for a”proper”relationship);I’m a young highly skilled professional at the beginning of career,pretty,independent,well travelled(I lived in few european countries&speak few languages)and living in one of the most glamorous/posh/expensive places on earth(where I just started my own business).As I travel(and I’m busy),I liked the”concept”of S.A., BUT…..we’ve got pr.(at least in Europe):I met few(potential)S.Daddies: they were looking for cheap&naive girls(young women)to “show them the world”probably in a low cost flight,some of them are ugly(or much older than they pretend to be),rude and sorry, but don’t have money!I know the concept of”rich”is different for everyone,but some of those clowns earn less than I do :))) not to say, I met an”MBA Harvard graduate”who put his fingers in a glass in a 5*restaurant and asked me”what is Ibiza”and”where is”Mallorca”???Not to say I didn’t meet ANY with a minimum of style&class…HELP!what should I look for?or where

  5. Anonymous says:

    I joined SA a few weeks ago with fairly low expectations. I was curious more then anything. If nothing else I thought it would be entertaining and the 30 day cost to join would be worth a little fun. Well, after getting a feel for how things worked I began chatting with several interesting gals. It wasn’t long before one stood out, a very attractive 21 year old college student, and I thought to myself…why not see where this goes. Site messaging soon turned texting and after a week or two of getting acquainted we met early this past week. Then we had lunch together the following day. I am very happy to say that this experience went way beyond anything I ever imagined. We both are looking forward to a wonderful special relationship!!! Thanks SA

  6. sweeetlilly says:

    I met a guy here on SA yesterday. He seemed great… twice my age but still nice looking. I met him at the yhat club he lives in thinking we would be meeting in the country club. I get there and he ends up leading me straight up to his high-rise bay-view pent house. I’m feeling a little strange as we’ve just met but his calm personality puts me at ease. So everything seems to be going well. we’ve been talking for maybe an hour and a half on his balcony then all of the sudden… he pulls his **** out and starts wanking!!! I was open-minded enough to not run for the hills, although maybe I should have. So he finishes… yes I mean FINISHES… and we carry on with our date as if that was normal. We drove to lunch in his jag drinking what he said was $300 wine and arrived at a water front seafood place… actually had a great time together. By the end of the date, I was really into him and he even gave me money for gas so I thought he was at least somewhat of a gentleman.
    Fast-forward 12 hours later. He calls me at 3am totally wasted. (Like he has been drinking since our date.) The gist of his drunken slurred speech was that “if I really wanted him I’d put out immediately and if not then it’s not going to work.” I can’t tell if it was the alcohol talking or if that’s how he really feels and I’m really facing a dilemma as to whether or not to see him again. Any advice fellow sugar babes?

    • Anonymous says:

      Hi Sweetlilly,

      I have been on SA for several months and met few well matched and well off SD’s. In regards to your dilemma ultimately the decision is up to you. Personally I would not see him again. His behavior was inopropriate, degrading and disrespectful. There are a lot of great guys on here don’t settle for someone like that! Scan profiles, create a dialoge before meeting. Meet in public place always…. As with any relationship sex should come when your both ready. If hes saying put out or get out then he can go buy a hooker.

      Just keep in mind how you want to be treated. If the guy isn’t up to par then leave. Your under no obligation to put out. Know what you want from the relationship and communicate that, they should be doing the same.

  7. Duchess Moonbeam says:

    So I met someone from SA’s sister site WYP for the same purposes of being on here. They were my age just a year older and they were looking for a relationship. I wasn’t sure because I hadn’t dated in a long time and I thought that I should at least go out and give them a chance because it sounded like a rare breed. They held very flowery language, painted me to be their dream girl…. It was hard not to feel susceptible or to at least mean that I may have high prospects with the person. They understood I wasn’t looking to have sex right away, also that I required std checks if that even happens because of my autoimmune disorder, stds or something like herpes I’d have the worst of it if someone gave to me. Anyways the whole date they were pushing me to have sex and trying to bribe me into it. I did not, and they seemed like they still wanted to see me. So we went on a few more dates but by the third they were telling people at restaurants that we were thinking of moving in together and kept asking if he could have kids with. lol wtf… we never talked about that except the time I said I was never interested in relocating. Yeah I’m really on SA/WYP because I clearly want a baby even though Im too sick to even have children. I kept finding out all sorts of weird seedy things, lots of bad gut feelings. Found out that they had a couple month old baby…which made me wonder if they had a baby fetish haha.. They were obviously a liar/ neurotic and possibly too successful for his young age. Everyone in the end honesty is good. You can be betrayed your own fakeness about liking someone because the connection can just slip away if its just based on reality. I stopped seeing him. Thank goodness I didn’t sleep with him, he seemed like the kind of guy who pokes holes in condoms lol.

  8. Ms.Princess123 says:

    I am seeking an arrangement in the Los Angeles California area but can travel 😉

  9. Agent Paul says:

    Are you Good In Bed, if yes call us now for Lots of sugar daddies and mummies in Nigeria are looking for young and vibrant babes and guys to satisfy them in bed, They are ready to take care of you financially and pay good amount for a start. If you are interested call +2348109095088 and get hooked up with one. You must be at least 18 years for guys who need ladies and 20 years for babes who need daddies. Note; only those that call will get a response. Messages and comments will get no reply. So call +2348109095088

    • Anonymous says:

      Someone should delete this

      • Anonymous says:

        SA doesn’t seem care about these scammers.
        I just block all men that request my phone number or email before ever meeting me. They are all either scammers or lonely men wanting to blow up your phone or inbox without ever meeting.

  10. Anonymous says:

    As an experienced SB I have noticed the complete downslide of the men on the site. Men who have an income of 50K and a networth of 100K are not SD’s. Seeking arrangement really needs to find a way to verify all the men who join the site.

    • Jane doe says:

      You will be surprise how much more you can get out of a SD who income is 50k-100k compare to those SD’s with 500k or higher income. Also how much better the 50k-100k SD’s will treat you compare to the higher income SD’s.

      • Anonymous says:

        Ah right, and how much are you per minute?
        The only thing you’ll get from a 50-75k SD wannabe is an STD.

        Increase monthly rate for SD to get rid of these time wasters.

    • Anonymous says:

      Get over yourself. There are lots of great guys out there who just want to take care of a woman, to wine and dine them and treat them like a princess. Cost of living is different every where. Someone in Miss. or Bama or Idaho can be very well off with 75k a year. Stop being greedy and selfish, or basically, a gold digger. Thats not what being a sugar baby is about.

      “The only thing you’ll get from a 50-75k SD wannabe is an STD.”

      This is quite possibly the dumbest comment ever. As if someone like rich Dan Bilzerian doesnt have a greater chance of giving you an STD. Educate yourself.

  11. Anonymous says:

    I met a guy through this site, it was my first SD ever and it was a terrible experience. All he wanted to do was have sex, and I drove 200 miles for the first date. Needless to say, I was disgusted. He was rude, wouldn’t get off his phone, and he was an arrogant sonofabitch. He told me that he pretty much expected sex, and I told him no and he got upset. He told me that SA was NOT a dating site and it was just for casual fun, (I think he was hoping to meet a prostitute.) I wasted my time, money, and gas for a shitty lunch date with a shitty guy.

    • Anonymous says:

      Wow I can’t believe you drove 200 miles! You never ever travel over 5miles to a SD on for the first date. In fact they should come to where you’re located at. Then after the first date you still don’t travel over 200 miles unless the SD sends you money in advance to cover all your travel expenses both directions.

    • BeMoreCareful says:

      Believe it or not there are a lot of desperate women who would of been more than willing to sleep with that jerk. I think those type of women are adding to the misconception of what SA is really about. Trust me he has had women give it up to him easily before otherwise he wouldn’t of even tried with you.

  12. Eric says:

    I just joined today as well and browsing around!! Does anyone actually write back? I am waiting for photos to be approved!! Hoping someone will write back .

  13. Alex says:

    I just joined today and i can’t really say i have seen much. I am still browsing around while waiting for my photos to get approved to maybe start a conversation.It get pretty boring at this time of the day for me since most of the people i usually talk to are asleep

  14. Anonymous says:

    Zakad szklarski oferuje szko i wyroby szklane.Szklarz w Piotrkw gwarantuje profesjonale usugi szklarskie w atrakcyjnych cenach.

  15. SuperDaddy says:

    I just wanted to say how funny and amusing it is to see all these folks using the words “honesty”, specially in THIS blog.

    What does a successful man need a woman for? To take her shopping?
    What can she do for him besides sexual and arm candy?
    He’s got plenty old friends to hang with and shoot the sht.
    He can call up an escort any time, and there’s plenty of women he meets offline happy to go for a free 5 star meal.
    So what does a SB bring to the relationship? Rhetorical, I don’t need an answer.

    The other obvious (to me) is that hardly any women make any progress from high school when it comes to dealing with mean and relationships.
    Their dating skills are those of a teenager, ie really dumb to a successful man who has had to learn to improve and adapt in every aspect of his life.
    The idea of SA is to ditch those games and get straight to the point.
    And then we have the SA blog which insists on bringing back the drama, games and BS that a site like SA is supposed to get rid of.

    For those here looking to snag a rich old man for long time sugar or basically a sucker, you’re looking in the wrong place.
    There are other much better places and methods, but I won’t be the one telling.

  16. beachhockey says:

    Problem: Sucks when I talk to sugar babies and hear the horror stories about ALL the guys with profiles to make them look like their rolling in doe, or 15 years younger, or a pic of a Lambo in their profile pic which when the girl goes on the date the car just happens to be in the shop.
    Solution: any jackass who makes $50k per year can click the $1,000,000 per year income box when filling out profile but why not let people like me have the ability to submit a screenshot of last years tax return along with ID, address blocked out to the page admins and in return on our profile you would see a gold star or the word “Legit Sugar daddy” or “Verified Income” next to our photo.
    I’m thinking the page would never do this because then only a few of us would be able to prove such high incomes and the more Sugar daddies you have on the page the better to entise women to join, I get it. Just sucks that the phonies are wasting the girls and my time.
    also would be cool is on my profile, girls could leave a review of me that other girls could read, maybe for a monthly fee. Every girl Ive taken out has been more than taken care of and very pleased with my looks and etiquette. Love this page btw, great quality and cool girls.

  17. san says:

    I registered on SA a month ago. I have met a couple of babes, however wanted to warn potential members of scammers and spammers.
    Never pay upfront – There seems to be a group operating with fake profiles with names Amy Hacksley, Adriana, Rebecca, Lucy etc who waste your time and money by messaging, asking to meet, sending bank details, etc but would never meet up. Some of them directly email you or text you non stop pestering and teasing..
    So beware daddies.

  18. nailgod says:

    @FlyR First off I would like to say thank you for taking the time to read my profile. I do appreciate the fed back and no I don’t take it literal it is all a learning experience. However I do want to address something, moving to a new state away from your family for the first time with less then 1k to find a job get a place to stay in NYC no doubt with no guarantee that any of it will work other then the gut feeling that it will is brave. Your the first person to tell me I’m not lol. I mentioned that to show some of my character and that I’m not afraid to take risks.

    Yes telling my profession because it is a rare one was my way of sparking interest, I’m willing to bet money I am the only one on here with that title for occupation but it was more to come off that I am an interesting person with a unique career choice not to be cocky in anyway

    As far as “narcissistic” I’m not sure if you were referring to the people who work hard get up at 3:00 am to get to a shoot sometime 10-24 hours long days carry 50-110LB of products up 3-4 flights of NYC subway stairs to beautify the celebs for the very magazines everyone buys on newsstands including Forbes, mens health, and GQ (yes those men wear make up, and get manicures right before they take that pretty picture someone had to make them look good)….or the celebs who get told how many times a day how perfect they are and how everyone loves them and oh can I get you another latte…haha I hope you were referring to the celebs and yes you would be right for some of them.

    My job is no where easy but it is very rewarding once you have made your way in the industry. I have worked on celebs which is why I have the title celeb manicurist but is not to be confused that I have an amazing life style and what am I doing on a SD site. A lot of what I do is free because I have to build my book for agents who might want to work with me exclusively for they’re clientele. but you don’t make real money until your signed.

    Until then I have decided to give SD/SB relationships a try because I’ve read really great stories for others so I’m hoping to have the same experiences. This is just to clear up if my profile came off as greedy because of my occupation title, signed agent celeb manicurist make 8-12K a month….if I made that I would not be here lol

    Now that thats cleared moving on, I guess I should have written the massage part in a more sexy way as you are right, that is why I changed professions. Too many creeps looking for more then a therapeutic massage.

    P4P had nothing to do with me going to LA I was offered a job there for a short period of time so I thought why not meet potential SD while there, definitely not for a hook up. I know some SD travel to LA for work and Travel to NYC as well, I thought I was being considerate meeting someone on there home turf rather then having him fly to me but I get where it might have came off as more then what it was.

    As far as working out, I do enjoy exercising, I see many SD on here say that on they’re profile as well and that they want a girl who keeps her self up well I definitely want the same, not the next sports model of course but someone who is health conscious I don’t see whats wrong with that. The stairmaster remark was a joke come on guys HaHahaHa just a little humor I can’t stay on that thing longer then 6 mins XD.

    And lastly the SD/SB relationship quote was actually on an SD profile I read of what he wanted a SB to understand, I thought wow this guy really gets it so I admit I used it. But hey if a man came up with it on his profile I don’t see why I’m coming off greedy, I guess because I’m a woman lol

    @FlyR, and @Cryptic I really do appreciate the feedback and really took it into consideration. I have changed up some things on my profile since then, thanks so much and Good Luck to everyone!

    @CucumberOnLids thanks Girl!!

  19. CucumberOnLids says:

    Great advice everyone:) I’ve just been sitting back and enjoying it:) Lovely picture nail goddess!

  20. cryptic anomaly says:

    @NailGoddess – FlyR made some great points there. What I also want to add is your profile would really appeal to me if I were a woman who was into fashion, manicures etc. You come across as a great gal pal for another gal.

    Lines 9 through to 14 were good but there wasn’t enough of it, drop a lot of the beauty school stuff and focus more on who you are rather than what you do.

    Also drop the part about not liking alcohol. It’s not a big deal that you don’t drink but when I read that it seems immature, not trying to be cruel but remember I don’t know you and so I am reading this forming perceptions on what you are telling me.

    Also drop the part about wanting to spending time at the gym and wanting to find a guy to do that with. Maybe some men do want that, but I don’t think too many would and remember you are mostly being looked at by older men. It might put them right off. Just mention you like the gym and stair master. Drop the part about stair master being your boyfriend, that is what you want your SD to be in spirit anyway. I also agree with Fly, saying you are finally getting back to the gym makes me think of an out of shape woman.

    Also more pics, at least one full body shot, not nude or near nude just in a dress, so we can see your physique.

    Last point, the part where you talk about how you see a Sugar relationship. Focus more on what you can offer. You sound kind of demanding in that part with what you want, a man to take all your cares away, that is a big ask although it sounds romantic it also makes you sound like too much work and a lot more expensive than your negotiable status suggests.

    Let the man decide how he sees you and in which way he wants to help, and given your career you don’t sound like you are struggling. Again not an insult or judgement but by sounding like you are too demanding matched with your career you appear greedy.

    Maybe something more along the lines of saying that you seek a mature, successful man to spend time with and enjoy each other’s company. Again that sounds far more relaxing and less demanding.

  21. flyR says:

    Nailgoddess – cryptic also nailed it . You need to GRAB the reader . Perhaps another photo or two

  22. flyR says:

    @ nailgoddess – apologies if this sounds hyper critical

    too many conflicting messages

    your face is beautiful and there is a hint of a very attractive woman

    moving to another city is not an act of courage unless you need to take your AK-47

    your potential SD may be sold on your attractiveness and sensuality but you need to provide comfort that you will be a classy and fun partner if you are really seeking a long term relationship.

    sugar is like strawberries in that it is highly perishable during transportation , not because it spoils but because travel time and cost take such a toll on value. Where I live I can buy then from the stand, freshly picked that morning . The same growers get them to LA and out to the LA markets in a couple of day so they were picked greener and 2 days older plus a lot more expensive. If you are the home grown strawberry in your market you are the most valuable inplace. (assuming there are an adequate number of SD) Moral of the story – if you are in NY or other major city focus on the local SD.

    Celebrity manicurist is validation of your abilities and compatibility with that segment of the market. I would rewrite the language to focus on your artistic talents and focus on quality. The fact that a bunch of the most narcissistic folks in the universe are in your circle of friends is not reassuring to me as to you desirability as a lover or your class as a companion in public.

    If necessary spend the $25 to enroll in some college course so you do not need to peak at high school.

    Listing massage as your minor is fine but understand that it does not improve your value as written . Something like my man will be amazed at my massage skills – some intuitive and some learned in school might be a better message. Understand that many masseuses went to massage schools so they could “legally” offer $50 blowjobs.

    You note that you are not looking at P4P and then go on to mention that you will be in LA for a brief period. It is ok but needs to be written in a classier language

    That the stair master is your friend is a great message which translates into toned, tight animal
    Don’t throw it away by the inference that you are returning out of shape.

    The usual message , don’t sell the heifer , sell the sizzle

    Photos – your photo is awesome, you need to add some assurance photos . AA sb’s need to be extra cognizant that the background compliment their best features.

    At the foundation you need to
    identify your target market.
    identify what adds value
    emphasize the value adds
    eliminate the value destroying messages

  23. flyR says:

    There’s way too much time wasted on arguing positions rather that thinking about matching the wants, needs and styles of sugar participants.

    Those who just want the simplest relationship – sex and money, those who want a more emotional , complex and flexible relationship,

    those for whom the allowance is everything to those for whom the allowance is just one dimension, those who love the fast lane to those who want quality time,

    those who want to impress others and those who want to be used to impress others v those who are happy behind a locked door or hanging out in cutoff jeans,

    those who want simple frictional sex interrupted only be the squeak of the ebola suits to those who want a wanton, intimate exploration of the corners of their sensual envelopes,

    those who want an emotional component and those who want to keep it sterile, those who want a stimulating intellect and those who believe sugar should be focused on other things,

    those who want to be nourished and those who need to be humiliated.

    A lot of the hate and anger comes from good people in bad matches, people wishing away red flags and of course people precipitating the very behavior which they find repulsive.

    Perhaps it begins with some post mortem questions or simply a midstream checkup, rolling the relationship into the shop for a 100 hour inspection to make sure it will keep flying.

  24. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Nailgod – Just checked your profile. As a SD I found that your profile lacked what you can offer me, what it might be like to spend time with you. I just requested to view your private photos if you want feedback on them.

  25. nailgod says:

    Hey everyone, I saw some great advice to other ladies about there profiles, I was hoping for the same. I’ve gotten quite a few messages but doesn’t seem to move forward with a meet up. I’m wondering if it’s something in my profile. Any tips, or advice would be great. Thanks!

  26. Joey says:


    When I started this, I would have agreed with you.

    Now that I have met some SB Pots I am not so sure. I’m in a relatively poor Asian country, so your mileage may differ, but the girls I see are a mix ranging from prostitutes to girls who want a rich boyfriend to marry. Probably the biggest category is “practical” girls – they are young, they want a boyfriend, they have objectives their families can’t meet financially (ie. study abroad, grad school), they figure their next boyfriend is not going to be the guy they marry (see bit about young), so why not find a boyfriend whose major benefit is that he will meet their financial objectives as long as his other behavior is acceptable? Many of them claim to be virgin intacta and that is often one of the key sticking points in negotiation – I get a lot of hand job offers.

    I have been very impressed by some of these girls – I would hire some of them for my company if I interviewed them for jobs.

    So, if I ended up no longer married and I and they could get past a 25 – 30 year age gap, why not promote them to girl friend or wife?

  27. IHF2030 says:

    I imagine that most men on this site are of the married variety. But, as a single guy I just can’t even imagine that I would EVER promote a sugarbaby to girlfriend, let alone wife!

  28. Sunshine2serenity says:

    That you would bring up our personal communications and bring them to the blog speaks volumes about your character. To you I have nothing more to say.

    Thank you. I don’t want people to think that all SDs take that approach but I feel like the blog gives the impression that it’s always about escorting or things that border on escorting. I wanted to share that I’ve had experiences that are far from that.

    You stated it perfectly. Thank you.

  29. rembodler says:

    If you hit low, you should expect to be hit low too, Hun.

  30. LadyScarlett says:

    Like I said…different market and caliber of man, obviously ): a shame the loudest voices on blog are often the lowest quality…

  31. rembodler says:

    Don’t mind the character of LadyScarlett… She is an unhappily retired escort and has plenty of information on polo ponies, yachts as well as escort-related websites… She is currently off the market, so go figure…

  32. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic I see noyhing wrong with message. It might serve you better to have some form of that in your profile (if you don’t already ) it might serve as a deterrent for the women looking for something purely transactional if they know right off the bat you’re not going to go for what they are offering.

  33. LadyScarlett says:

    Don’t mind the ‘character’ of remdodler…he doesn’t get it, and apparently is a used car salesman type who thinks polo ponies and yachts are luxury brands…:-/ he is in a different market, so go figure.

  34. THEATLSD says:

    New blog peeps of the page

  35. lovelynyours says:

    Not so. If you didn’t have a job, you’d get desperate eventually, that period of time at which that occurred being dependent on how much money you’d saved up before you lost your job. Need = eventual desperation, in my mind. Further, I had several corporate bosses at major companies who truly did care about my well-being, as well as others on their teams. The best ones always do. But I don’t want to digress.

    I think your analogy, rem, still works if you’re hiring someone who doesn’t need the job, but appreciates having one. Those who hate retirement, for instance, and need something to do. Or housewives who look to get back into the workforce after the kids get older since the nests are emptier. Just because they don’t need it doesn’t mean they won’t be good at it. Same applies here. I don’t need it, but when I have an SD, I’m appreciative of and truly grateful for everything he gives me, whether it’s gifts, travel, advice, or an allowance. It’s all a blessing, and I can’t help but want to be the best I can be when he’s giving his best. That’s just manners! I know not everyone’s like that, but there are still some decent ones out there who understand reciprocity in all its forms. I know you’re not saying I’m in the wrong; I just wanted to explain since you gave me the chance to. And I like the conversation. 🙂

  36. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Lady S, Lovely, Sunshine, Jay and all – You are starting to get the idea of what I am after. I do want something genuine, I am very particular and willing to wait for the right lady to come along. The reason I don’t like the idea of huge allowances or a focus on money is because I am actually willing to be there just as much for the SB, ironically when Sunshine talks about benefactors and men who want to help, I am actually closer to that then she realizes but again she focuses on money as the sole source of support.

    Anyway, below is what I send to Potential SB’s when they ask me what I am looking for.

    I would like something as natural feeling and caring as possible, if you ever need someone to talk to or hang out with I would like you to feel free to call me and vice versa which doesn’t mean to say we would always have to be available but the freedom to contact each other even for just a chat would be good.

    If done right this should be like a friendship, mutually beneficial a minimum amount of meets per week agreed upon and anything extra is just that extra. I am happy to help you with what you might need or require. In return I would like lots of affection and for you to always be yourself with me and honest.

    I don’t provide money or gifts until we have agreed we want an arrangement and settle on terms, before that we just meet and chat, get to know each other, we can meet as many times as you like before anything is agreed upon however if it is obvious there is no chemistry than lets not waste each other’s time with meeting for no reason.

  37. rembodler says:

    1. U confuse “desperate” with “needing a job”.
    Most of us are not desperate, but need a job
    2. Ur corporate boss does not care about your wellbeing. You work for him and he pays your salary. He is not your dad.
    As we talked b4, I am not saying u r doing anything wrong. It is just that it is not what a generic situation looks like.

  38. lovelynyours says:

    @Josh – as I am not an extra in a low-budget movie set in a dank jazz club in 1953, no, I do not. 😉

  39. lovelynyours says:

    But why do you assume I’m independently wealthy? I mentioned previously on the thread that I’m not (I’m in my 20s, so yes I’m accomplished, but not wealthy – though I plan to be). But it’s a good point you’re making here and speaks to what a couple mentioned before – it’s helpful perhaps for a guy to know the allowance would go towards building my new business. If I didn’t have an SD (which I don’t now), my business wouldn’t collapse, I wouldn’t be homeless, my bills would still be paid, and I wouldn’t spiral into the pits of despair. I don’t need one. But I enjoy having one.

    I’m going to use Miss Lady’s point to elaborate further. I don’t want to be asked about my whereabouts or have to check in with anyone unless I actually want to. I don’t want to deal with a guy’s pouting about my working late some nights instead of being with him, I don’t want to have to explain why I don’t want marriage or kids, and I don’t want to deal with introductions to parents. Among others. BUT I do really want to connect with and be friends with the guy I’m intimate with. If I can get an allowance AND have those luxuries (which it seems I can), why wouldn’t I?

    One could argue that if a guy has to rely on the fact that the SB NEEDS him to survive in order to ensure he’s getting a quality SB, that 1) the definition of quality has been tainted since she’s desperate for cash and will likely behave in equally desperate measures which surely isn’t sexy, and 2) he’s got the weight of responsibility on his shoulders regarding her survival in the event that it doesn’t work out. Just like a corporate boss would. Lives and possibly families (if she has kids) at stake. If that were me, I’d feel terrible and nervous about that. All the time. Again, not a sexy situation.

  40. Josh says:

    I used to know a guy who talked like @Lovely in her profile. He used to call rich businesspeople “cats”. Do you call them “cats” as well @Lovely?

  41. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy Great example

  42. MissLady says:

    Yes Elaine! Couldn’t remember her ID!

  43. MissLady says:

    @LFdM yes, there are a lot of people not in sugar because of financial need

  44. LadyScarlett says:

    “MissLady says:
    June 25, 2015 at 1:20 pm
    Ok, with the connection and paying, and I think eloquence stated it once, you are paying an allowance for no drama, I’m paying paid to understand, to not have a future with you, to not harass you cause you didn’t text me, to not nag, to not always have my hand out, in some cases to spend holidays alone etc. my allowance is just how much it will take me to be happy with those terms and conditions which vary from guy to guy.’

    Yes, Elaine used to always say that, too…and, is why I have mainly had arrangements with European men, or men that are not originally from the US. They ‘get it’ more, and have a more realistic and relaxed view on a mistress. Not all, but many of the American men are trying to find cheap deals or ‘average’ rates for SBs now. It is the coupon nation, I guess…

  45. rembodler says:

    It is simple, really. If you are in my office as a job applicant, I presume you need that job. So I am going to compare you to applicants with similar resumes and approach the interview accordingly.
    If, on the other hand, you are independently wealthy and you do not need this job, this has to be factored in. Most likely, unless you agree to work for a lot less, you will not be hired as your employer will assume that you, not needing it, are not going to take it seriously, would not care about deadlines or agree to overtime. Every job has its dull or hard moments; someone who is just there to “have fun” is unlikely to put the same effort as the candidate who needs the job and the paycheck.

  46. Jaybird923 says:

    Sorry stupid touch screen I meant to add well said and in my case those are the things I’m trying to avoid. All the hoopla and drama of a traditional relatioship

  47. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lady Well said

  48. MissLady says:

    Ok, with the connection and paying, and I think eloquence stated it once, you are paying an allowance for no drama, I’m paying paid to understand, to not have a future with you, to not harass you cause you didn’t text me, to not nag, to not always have my hand out, in some cases to spend holidays alone etc. my allowance is just how much it will take me to be happy with those terms and conditions which vary from guy to guy.

    Part of really being able to understand and accept those types of conditions come from liking the person imo

  49. lovelynyours says:

    whoops, I meant it’s the simplest way to find an SD, given I’m in a new city. 🙂

  50. lovelynyours says:

    Someone else mentioned that. I guess I find it weird that people assume every person on this site is here because they NEED an SD rather than because they want one. I guess I never viewed arrangements as something you get into because you need to – I always thought there were guys who didn’t NEED to give an allowance (who could find women on their own, without the allowance structure) and that there were women who didn’t NEED to receive an allowance, who had their own revenue streams. Do people question SDs that way? No, because it’s known that it’s a preference.

    So having a preference to be an SB rather than a girlfriend should be understandable, too – surely. Though I am indeed starting to wonder if I really should be here on SA.

    I am here, at the moment, because I figured this was the simplest way to find an SB for me, given I’m in a new city. I’m also here because I really enjoy traveling (as in weekly) and don’t mind an out of state SD. Online is the only way (usually) to find an SD who lives elsewhere. Hope that helps.

  51. Jaybird923 says:

    On a more light hearted note. Is any one planning on going on vacation this summer? If yes, where are you planning on going? If no, if you could take a vacation where would you like to go?

  52. LFdM says:


    I remember reading your profile and thinking to myself that this doesn’t seem to be someone who needs a SD at all. While it may be honest, it had me thinking why is she on here at all? I didn’t do a deep dive analysis, but that was my gut level reaction to your profile. I know you were looking for input earlier.

  53. Kramer says:

    I’m not, under any circumstances, doing any inserting in that area.

  54. lovelynyours says:

    That’s a really interesting way of articulating it, LFdM. Might have to remember that one. That’s really the heart of it – it sets the course from the get go. Expectations are placed on the table, and both parties know what the deal is. No hidden agendas (if you’re both doing it right). That’s what I like most about arrangements – I just don’t have the time or patience for the noise and inevitable headache that comes with misunderstandings and all the unknowns, and arrangements, by their very nature, cut that out while still allowing me to build a connection and friendship with someone. Thanks for sharing.

  55. LFdM says:

    My favorite movie line is from “The Hustler”. It goes something like this. Fast Eddie and his handler walk into Fats poolroom. The poolroom manager knows the kid has come to play Minnesota Fats.

    “Want some free advice?” the manager asks.

    “How much will it cost?” shoots back Eddie’s handler.

    And I think it sums up exactly why a lot of people are here. When things are “free”, the cost (financial and emotional) are actually just unknown. An arrangement actually sets the course from the get go.

    I run into this all the time in business too. I get offers all the time for people to do this or that for little to no cost so they can get something on their resume, get a little experience, or simply help out a friend. When it comes to the crunch though, it never, ever works out — they never get the job done. Or they expect an unwritten something in return, and that can often be more than you were ever thinking the job was worth. That’s why I insist on paying for everything.

  56. LadyScarlett says:

    Ah, I see, cryptic. But perhaps, for her the allowance she seeks constitutes more of a(not to be crass), but a ‘girlfriend experience’). She would be at his beck and call, more likened to a real gf who is always there for him…whereas, it looks like for you, if the connection is there, and one that feels the most natural and real, anyway, then you would feel better with less allowance(but, maybe, more gifts and support with a business or mentoring, like a regular boyfriend?). If the relationship is less intimate and more transactional, then the money aspect is more comfortable, then?

    I can understand where you are coming from…some men do not ever become comfortable with ‘paying’ an actual allowance, but ended up spending much more on gifts/things needed/business than they would have if a straight monetary allowance was handed over…I see what you are saying, I think?

  57. lovelynyours says:

    Ah, ok. Your last comment sheds a bit more light for me, Cryptic. But just know that there are people, men and women, who do value that connection, in an honest way. I’m still friends with my past SDs – we’re friends because we have a connection, and that was important to us from the jump. That’s not game playing, it’s just not what you’re looking for or value.

  58. lovelynyours says:

    So you don’t mind paying except when she considers it gifting or helping, and you don’t mind talking to her except when she considers it establishing a connection or chemistry, and if you’d be game if she came to you and said, “X dollars for a night with me”, but not “an allowance/gift of X comes with my being your SB”? Huh?

    Relationships can be lies. Anything that involves a man wanting to get with a woman and a woman wanting to get with a man, sadly, can involve a lie, as you put it. For many, the first date in a traditional setting is all about impressing and coming off a certain way. Months in, that often fades and true colors emerge. Not everyone fibs or puts on only their best face, but some do. You do run the risk of encountering those people. So by your book, that’s a lie.

    In initial chats with SDs, some SBs might say things here and there to impress, some SDs might tell half-truths about their stats (age, looks, etc.) And in playing in the sugar bowl, you run the risk of encountering some who are like that, even if not all are. So SB arrangements are also lies, in your book.

    It sounds like you’re more suited to an escort. Truthfully – I’m not even trying to be rude, but it really does sound like you’d be happier without the trappings of what you consider game playing. Because whether you’re in a relationship or in an arrangement, you run the risk of encountering that sort of thing. You either have to decide that you’ll take the heat, or you should consider getting out of the kitchen.

  59. Cryptic anomaly says:

    @Lady S – my comments are more directed at Sunshine really. I get how this site works and have had 2 SB’s and one 1 who preferred to be my girlfriend.

    I just ask for honesty, as I think Fly said this site avoids games and can be cheaper
    Than regular dating if done right.

    Sunshine was talking about men who pay her $5k a month even though she supposedly connects with them. I wouldn’t pay that and it would feel degrading for me if the woman connected me as such. I just don’t like hypocrisy basically.

    On the flip side recently I was chatting to one woman I really liked who just minimal selected and I was willing to pay her a lot more but she thought I was trying to rip her off somehow so that didn’t work out. Go figure.
    I’m here because I don’t like games, if I sense a game player I dump the negotiations.

    As I stated previously I’m the client, you are wanting my money. Respect what I want.

  60. Josh says:

    I don’t see any problem with connection faking, per se. I do have a problem with bad connection faking.

    Its kinda like when women are shopping for designer bags WITH THEIR OWN MONEY. They don’t have problem with a fake. They have problem with badly done fake.

  61. rembodler says:

    I think ideally (in an arrangement we all dream of) an allowance is…a reminder that it is not real. If we want an arrangement, we do not want it “for real”, if we want it “for real”, we should not be in one.
    When I look at her and think “OMG, I finally arrived, I am with the woman of my dreams, she is everything I ever wanted!”, an allowance is a sobering factor that is necessary to cool such thoughts down.

    • SB who found joy says:

      I agree. When I start to get too emotionally involved, I remind myself of the money and no matter how much she says it’s not JUST about that, it wouldn’t be happening without it. At the same time, I feel more secure that she’s not going to just blow me off, because….the money 🙂

  62. Jaybird923 says:

    Even when I do feel a connection it all comes crashing down like a house of cards when money is brought up. I snap back to reality, you don’t charge people you connect with to hang out with you.

    @Cryptic why bother with a site like this? The premise is very clear money/gifts in exchange for “companionship”.If the monetary element is so off putting why not just stick to traditional dating?

  63. Jaybird923 says:

    ” RE turnover – can be used to discuss employees but more commonly used in the financial world to test the rate at which goods are sold”

    @Flyr Thank you for the clarification. I think this is what she was getting at but for the life of me I couldn’t get her explanation. Her analogy makes a whole lot more sense now.

  64. Cryptic anomaly says:

    @Rem- that is part of it yes. Does the connection only serve to make the SB feel like less of a prostitute? Is it meant to make her feel like I am her boyfriend or lover? If this is the case and I make her feel so at ease than why am I paying? It seems like double dipping to me.

    And if the money is there because she is supposedly out of my league than obviously not as money again becomes the levelling field.

    If a woman wants a rich boyfriend to spoil her I respect that if they are honest but these women like Sunshine who go on about connection and how these men are happy to help, help meaning pay, it just comes off as game playing to me and leaves me cold.

    Even when I do feel a connection it all comes crashing down like a house of cards when money is brought up. I snap back to reality, you don’t charge people you connect with to hang out with you.

    So I just see it as a lie.

    • SB who found joy says:

      I see the money as leveling the playing field and gets me to the same level as her. Then I have to romance and seduce her just like a normal relationship. I get the chance to have a relationship with someone that I’ve always wished I could.

      As far a spoiling someone, why the hell would I want to do that? Do parents want to spoil children? You’ll only create a monster. I’ll adore and love them. But I hate the “spoil me” bs.

    • Latin SB says:

      I think that you need to read a little about this, because if the dynamic to this bothers you, then you can leave the site, I guess. Sugar relationships are a mix of regular gf/bf relationships and selling companionship. That’s the way I see it, and some blogs say it rephrased. The NSA often involved calls for the “spoiling” part to make the exchange worthy and fair, and many SDs here often treat ladies like escorts or prostitutes, so I really think your point needs some analysis on your part. Sugaring is just the way it is, by what you say you are not into it, so maybe try something else. My SD is not unhappy at all with how our relationship works, he brings me gifts everytime he travels, buys me stuff, helps me financially, we talk everyday, spend time together, etc., but in the end he goes back to his wife. That’s what this is all about.

  65. Josh says:

    “Or doesn’t that matter because I am a man and therefore just a dumb horny dog?”

    You nailed it right on the side of the fire hydrant. 😉

  66. LadyScarlett says:

    Used car salesman faux ‘SDs’ are so wise(sarcasm). I agree flyR, often it is the opposite, the more connection and attraction to her SD, the less allowance she will require, at least I have made exceptions with men that. I really fancied.

    Cryptic, what exactly do you want out of an arrangement? This is a site where the premise is NSA arrangement in exchange for allowance. Of course, chemistry and connection are desired, or at least
    a requirement is good faking, but if it feels too unnatural for you, or you are always wondering if the woman is playing you/being real, then perhaps it is not for you?

  67. lovelynyours says:

    That makes much more sense, @rem. And I’m inclined to agree, there. Though I guess I’m one of those who would be alright with a lower allowance for someone I had a great connection with. It’s unfortunate that some SBs don’t prioritize that as it’s SO important to overall happiness. I would take (and have, in the past) a guy who gifted less but I really connected with than a guy who gave me 10K but was a tool who I would inwardly roll my eyes at, for instance.

    That said, jadedness around women is like fear around grizzlies. We sense it, and it will elicit a certain response inevitably, without fail. And it may not be the response a guy’s looking for.

  68. flyR says:

    @ REM “”I think (and I could be wrong), but what cryptic is trying to say, if the connection is just a tool SB is using to extract more allowance, it is no better than an SD trying to use the “connection” to negotiate lower allowance. Obviously, most SBs are just fine with the former, but not the later.”””

    Man I really disagree with this on a number of points.

    a) many SB’s factor in the Joshie Effect into their threshold sugar . Show them that those issues are not part of the equation and BOTH SB and SD are often happier with a more modest allowance.

    b) If all you are marketing is frictional sex you’ll have a tough time competing with the crack girls.

    c) How can it be wrong for a woman to truthfully represent her intellectual achievements but necessary for her to share her cleavage.

    d) Value for both comes from a better match. Most guys can get laid for free or at most a dinner and some sincere lies. The beauty of sugar, properly pursued , is the quality of the women in whatever dimension the SD is seeking is greater, it can be honest and open new doors. Some SD’s even find a little value in the satisfaction of helping a deserving young woman move towards her goals while they are the beneficiary of mind blowing sex in an uncomplicated stimulating relationship.

    I shared some of my sugar adventures with a close female friend. When she asked me ” FlyR you can have sex for free with a number of my great friends. ” My answer was that it’s true but the time to maintain those relationships and deal with all the issues is better invested in my company which makes sugar not an expense but a profit center.

    RE turnover – can be used to discuss employees but more commonly used in the financial world to test the rate at which goods are sold . Other purposes in sugar world

  69. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic When you see this post check your email

  70. rembodler says:

    I think (and I could be wrong), but what cryptic is trying to say, if the connection is just a tool SB is using to extract more allowance, it is no better than an SD trying to use the “connection” to negotiate lower allowance. Obviously, most SBs are just fine with the former, but not the later.
    I think both are fine and both parties should be able to use their best assets to arrive at a reasonable amicable agreement. I see no reason why a handsome suave gent cannot use these qualities to negotiate his prospect from “moderate” to “practical”. Same for an SB, if she can position herself as someone who is his long lost soulmate (without actually being one), more power to her!

  71. lovelynyours says:

    You missed my point. I said if you don’t need a connection to have mindblowing sex, then kudos. I didn’t assume sex with any SB is mindblowing – that would be stupid. And if you’re not having mindblowing sex on a regular basis with an SB, something is certainly amiss. But that’s neither here nor there as far as I’m concerned; your sex life is not my business.

    Welp, my comment bores you. Okay. Good thing I’m not chatting on this blog specifically to entertain you. As you were, sir. Carry on.

  72. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Lovely – Is it mindblowing sex? You are making assumptions there, remember if I feel that the woman is just there for money what does that do to my end of the connection? Or doesn’t that matter because I am a man and therefore just a dumb horny dog?

    I just gave you some insight into who I am in that previous comment lovely and all you could do was come back with a cliche. Can you see how that adds to me being bored with the women on here?

  73. lovelynyours says:

    Hm. Is it just to the SBs benefit, cryptic? I know many guys who enjoy intimacy much more when there is chemistry and a connection. I’d bet they’d totally take sex without it if she was hot (naturally), but for them, it’s not as good because it’s not as comfortable of a fit. Kudos to you, I guess, if you don’t need or want it to have mindblowing, earth-shattering sex, but I don’t think that’s something all men, or even most, can say, is it? Any SD opinions on that one? I’m curious.

  74. NC Gent says:

    Cryptic — you sound a little jaded. I still have occasional contact (and even lunch) with all three of my past long term SBs. No money changes hands for that. I recognize that not many hot single women are going to date a married older man for free when she could easily have all the dates she wanted with a single man. You have to accept that if you want to sugar date. Many men struggle with that.

  75. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Sunshine – Here is the bottom line. It is all about the money. I have chatted with you offline and like other SB’s you started off as interesting, I felt a connection. That word Connection.

    I have realized that Connection/Chemistry is really only to the SB’s benefit. You see regardless of how much we might “Connect” in the end the SB will still want money. So is the connection real? Are they playing me? That’s the sad thing most of the SB’s are too naive to play anyone or their bottom line prevents them from being so as they crave the $$$ so badly they always bring it up.

    So the point is Sunshine the only genuine part of the Sugar equation is me, the guy who is expected to pay for you to spend time around me even though you supposedly like me anyway.

    I know your self entitlement does’t see an issue for any of the above. But as a genuine man and human being I find it to be a rather degrading dynamic for all concerned, especially myself.

  76. D says:

    Okay, I get it now lol I guess that comes off as rude when you look at it like that!

  77. LadyScarlett says:

    I agree, do not think it is a good idea to focus or mention any of your accomplishments. Keep yourself a bit of a mystery, and let him find out for himself, if he is interested, as misslady said. That is a good vetting process, anyway. Better to focus on what you offer him, or your selling points, in your profile.

  78. flyR says:

    @ Miss “You’d be surprised by the number of those who do not hold that as a priority or care to ask. If you put just enough to show that you are intelligent or have accomplished something and he asks about it, then that will give you further insight on him.”

    That’s true. How the SB treats it will have a significant impact on the type of SD whom she attracts.

    Too many associate strong and accomplished with controlling ( mostly due to their insecurities) .

  79. MissLady says:

    @Flyr SB Intellect / Accomplishments – I can not understand someone seriously downplaying their accomplishments other than that required to maintain privacy.

    You’d be surprised by the number of those who do not hold that as a priority or care to ask. If you put just enough to show that you are intelligent or have accomplished something and he asks about it, then that will give you further insight on him.

  80. lovelynyours says:

    @D, As MissLady says, you should consider a different approach. Maybe you’re truly interested in making sure he’s a good fit before you get into an arrangement? Even that sounds better than what you wrote – I actually thought you might have just been facetious when you posted that. Please remember that these arrangements are two way streets – if you’re not interested in being intimate with someone off the bat (nor should you be), then don’t get into an arrangement with someone til you want to take that step. Making that clear in a diplomatic, non-threatening way is key.

  81. Jaybird923 says:

    @D It’s the way you phrase that statement. What if they told you you had to earn and allowance? Would that statement bring up positive thoughts/feelings. Intimacy and allowance is not something that is earned it’s something that is freely given/exchanged because it’ beneficial to both parties.

  82. flyR says:

    Random Thoughts

    Truing Up The Profile – If there are any material discrepancies between the profile and reality they should be cleared up PRIOR to the first meeting.

    Makeup – I’m much more interested in the freshly scrubbed look . My problem with those who depend on makeup is that they usually do so at the expense of other components of value. There is no right or wrong. Those who live and die by using arm candy probably look at freshly washed as unprofessional.

    SB Differentiation- Profile needs to make the case that you are valuable. Like a car. You don’t tout the gas mileage of an SUV or affordability of a Ferrari. ( refer to prior salt discussions) Seamless integration of words and pictures. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

    SB Intellect / Accomplishments – I can not understand someone seriously downplaying their accomplishments other than that required to maintain privacy.

    First contact to first call – Treat the first contact and first call with care…. We talk about deciding to pursue or pass a profile in a few seconds . I think the same is pretty much the same for the first few exchanges. DO NOT respond to emails or texts if you are angry about something else.

  83. MissLady says:

    @ATL, nope Houston

    @D the moment they hear that I want them to earn intimacy and not expect it…that does it, you need to restate it or come at it from a different approach

  84. lovelynyours says:

    Thanks, ATL! Unicorn, your profile’s pretty straightforward. I got everything I need to know about you in order to determine whether I’d want to message you, so kudos. That said, it sounded much like many other SD profiles I’ve encountered. The things I personally look for in the text section are: 1) likelihood of meeting soon, 2) info on the type of woman he’s into, 3) insight into what I can expect as an SB – aside from allowance – as in, how I’ll be treated, what we might do together, and how often, 4) indication that he’s serious and isn’t just playing around online, and 5) whether his personality might mesh with mine. While a bit vanilla in terms of content, you come off as straightforward, respectful, and sincere. I’d just say to put more of yourself into it, personality-wise.

    Then again, please note that I say this as someone who really values personality. Not all SBs do, I suppose. And some argue that SDs don’t have to work as hard at their profiles in that way since their numbers speak for themselves. I disagree, but something to consider. Also, have you had an SB before? If so, I’d say that. Means we can take you a bit more seriously off the bat.

  85. D says:

    okay since everyone is helping out that CJ girl, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY PROFILE? I’ve attracted quite a few men but the moment they hear that I want them to earn intimacy and not expect it, they run away.. HELP!!!

  86. THEATLSD says:

    I thought you were in NYC?

  87. MissLady says:

    lol @ATL you can beam me up Scottie if I ever get to that side of the world again!

    @Peach, one of a kind meetings are always fun!

  88. THEATLSD says:

    Go to any profile. In the address bar you will see a alpha nbr. Replace it with Unicorn salads number.

  89. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    Thank you very much.

    You are the gem Sir.

    It was truly a one-of-a-kind meeting between and “older” lady and a perfect “gentleman.” I learned a lot and hope he did as well. 😉

  90. THEATLSD says:

    What happens at the summit stays at the summit. You are more then welcome to attend the next one. Then we can go the Starship Enterprise afterwards. 😉

  91. MissLady says:

    @ATL Thank you and awww shucks. It was fabulous having our very own mini sugar summit.

    lol, and what lectures/classes were given at this summit??

  92. lovelynyours says:

    Is there a field on SA where you can input a user name and get to someone’s profile? Thought it’d be on the search page, but either I’m sicker than I thought, or it isn’t there. Trying to critique Unicorn’s profile. Thanks. 🙂

  93. THEATLSD says:

    Thanks for meeting the lovely lady I sent to meet you to prove that @GeorgiaPeach is not my proxy.”

    My pleasure hopefully it did not cost you too much. 🙂

  94. Jaybird923 says:

    @LOvely this is going to turn into a pointless back and forth that takes up unnecessary space on the blog. I didn’t say you have to follow everyone advice only a moron would do that and only a moron would suggest it.

    I don’t know why people feel the need to read between the lines when I say exactly what I mean. But I’ll take full responsibility for this since I failed to keep my word about not discussing your profile any further. So I’ll end it here.

  95. THEATLSD says:

    Thank you and awww shucks. It was fabulous having our very own mini sugar summit.
    You such a great soul that deserves a horny guy!!

    @Ladyscarlette read your email Red. Your up next.

  96. lovelynyours says:

    *your assessment on my motives or what I needed, I meant. I agreed with some other points you made.

  97. lovelynyours says:

    Actually, MissLady said to play down the accomplishments and I told her “You’re right in that I could probably do it in a more effective way that isn’t going to turn most off.” I also told ATL in response to his suggestion to cut it that “If I can shorten it and still get my point across, I’ll certainly do that. Any repetitive areas would be great to cut.” And I simply didn’t agree with your assessment. I wrote down a good-sized list of things to change, so that doesn’t really hold water, I’m afraid.

    No intelligent person is going to take every ounce of advice they receive and go with it, because they know for every one person that says, ” paint it black”, there’ll be another that says, “paint it white”. You literally can’t take everyone’s advice. You have to know what works for you and see how you can tweak it while still bring true to yourself. I wouldn’t have asked for insight if I wasn’t going to be receptive to it, but it has to make sense. As I’ve stated, much of the insight here does make sense. But not all of it. That’s all.

  98. Jaybird923 says:

    “but if they were good enough to fool me then I would not be too annoyed”

    @Joey You’re in the same camp as Josh he appreciates a good actress also. Maybe they should start teaching how to be a good actress at those sugar baby summits instead. 🙂

  99. Josh says:


    Thanks for meeting the lovely lady I sent to meet you to prove that @GeorgiaPeach is not my proxy.

  100. Joey says:


    Any married SD is presumably not satisfied with what he has at home. If he gets divorced that will probably be the driver, not the SB.

    Separately, marrying an SB is a major risk that must be properly hedged.

    My SBs all have a huge age gap with me. That’s a major concern in a long term relationship – in 40 years I will be decrepit or dead while they will be middle aged. Are they prepared for that?

    An SB, almost by definition, is a gold digger. I’m not interested in a divorce in 10 years and alimony for the rest of my life.

    Given both of these issues, any SB will have to agree to a pre-nup that strongly incents her to stay married to me for life and that makes it financially a very bad idea for her to fight me for custody of any children we have.

  101. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lovely there is nothing wrong with listing what you’e looking for nor do I ever tell you how you should feel or what your intentions are. What I did tell you was the impression you were leaving. And almost every piece of advice you were given was followed up with a thank you but this is why my way work.

    ATL says it’s a bit to long you say yes but this is why it works. Miss lady says maybe play down some of the accomplishment you say great suggestion but this is why I won’t. I say mention that you need an SD to assist with the capital to build your business you say but I don’t need an SD. And you’re welcome.

  102. lovelynyours says:

    Noted, ATL! I’m pretty new to the area so that sort of advice is REALLY helpful for me. I’ll be sure to check that place out! Any other spots you’d like to send my way (or even just great spots in ATL generally), I’d truly love that. 🙂

    In the interests of paying it forward, I’ll check out your profile shortly, Unicorn. Gotta go hydrate with some vitamin water – trying to flush out this cold!

  103. LadyScarlett says:

    ‘I’d take less for someone I really clicked with in a unique way (case in point, the guy I’m meeting next week). ‘

    No worries, lovely…and, I feel the same way. If there is great chemistry then rules are meant to be broken, and will lower allowance req. (: Good luck! I am in Atlanta as well, and so is AtlSD(obviously 😉

  104. lovelynyours says:

    Ooooh, fair point, MissLady and LadyScarlett. I wondered about the negotiable thing, but figured it’d keep my options open since I’d take less for someone I really clicked with in a unique way (case in point, the guy I’m meeting next week). I’ll update that, too. Appreciate it!

  105. Joey says:


    “And it matters the same way it would matter to you if you thought you were getting an 18 virgin only to find out that she’s 5 years older and has been riding the cock carousel for a number of years. (Thanks Flyboy for that term) Even if they told you before the arrangement started I’m guessing you would be upset about the deception.”

    No. If they tell me before the arrangement starts then it is up to me to make my decision. I would be annoyed if I found out later… but if they were good enough to fool me then I would not be too annoyed – most of the benefit of these things is pyschological and I would have gotten the benefit by believing it.

  106. THEATLSD says:


    I understand where you are coming from and trying to head. It’s just needs little refining.
    I believe there are your types on SA just harder to dig out of the wood work.

    You need to get into “The Vault” at Chops on a regular basis. You will meet those type of men there.

  107. lovelynyours says:

    @Jay – I talked about it here because that was the topic of conversation, someone brought up high end, and I wasn’t clear on what they’d meant, I guess, since SA calls it moderate.

    Sorry you feel that way. I was very clear that I liked a lot of the suggestions here from you guys and planned to incorporate them. Those who offered concrete suggestions about how to my profile better were met with appreciation. But I won’t agree with anyone who frames it as though they’re trying to tell me what I’m thinking or what my intentions “truly” are, when I know myself better than they do. Honesty, with oneself and with others, is really important to me for a myriad of reasons, and you rubbed me the wrong way on that one, perhaps unintentionally. No harm, no foul. I truly do appreciate your taking the time to look it over.

    Thanks, and you too!

  108. LadyScarlett says:

    Lovelynyours, I have not read your profile yet, and did not notice if you mentioned a mentor, but based on some of your past few posts, maybe, you could put more emphasis on finding a mentor type investor and put what amount of assistance for investment you might want in the allowance section? I agree that negotiable is not the best thing to have listed..it attracts the undesirables…

  109. gentleman soul says:

    @ lovelynyours
    Hm. From some of the comments on this blog, I’m beginning to wonder if this online component is for me. Maybe I’m just not broken yet, but I truly care about an SD I choose to be with. I select him because he’s all or many of the things I seek in not just a guy whose company I keep, but in a friend. I text or call him because I’m actually curious about how his day went, or how he did on the back 9 this morning…not because I feel obligated to or because it fills some imagined quota of contact.

    Your attitude sounds great and might be an ideal way to approach things here . But this is “seeking arrangement” and not “looking for love” although that can happen . Just keep seeking that which you need .

  110. MissLady says:

    oh and to add to @Jay’s latest, get rid of negotiable in your profile @lovely. The guys here have said it sends a wrong message.

  111. lovelynyours says:

    Thanks all, for your insight and suggestions. I’ll mull them over and make some edits over the coming days. I really like this forum – great place to share, especially when you’re home sick for the day! 🙂

  112. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lovely Sorry no you don’t list it in your profile. I was going off of your statement on the blog that you were looking for in the moderate range. But I’ll refrain from discussing your profile any further.

    This looks like another case of someone asking for advice when they are really seeking validation that the are doing everything right. Good Luck I sincerely hope everything works out the way you’d like.

  113. lovelynyours says:

    Josh, I don’t think it’s about needing a women for that purpose. It just means that if they’re going to have a woman on their arm, who by very virtue of existing on their arm sends a certain message to everyone else, that that woman should be one who sends the right message based on whatever they do or what circles they are in. IF, of course, they’re going to introduce that women to friends, colleagues, acquaintances, etc. That’s all. In crass terms, the woman serves as a status symbol, The smarter she is, the more accomplished she is, and yes, the hotter she is, the better he looks. Right, wrong, or indifferent, that’s the trend.

  114. lovelynyours says:

    …I’m confused. I don’t list how much I’m looking for, anywhere on my profile. And I think I use the word allowance just once. And no, I don’t need an SD, as I said. I need capital. Not an SD. There’s a myriad of ways to get capital in the world from loans to investors to partners, and I leverage those too – I like SD arrangements, and it so happens I’ll use that to put towards my venture. My insistence, as you put it, stands.

    Initial discussions, in my experience on this site, don’t include advice on business – they include getting to know one another as people. No mentor is going to spend that kind of time investment without knowing who they’re talking to, traditionally, even outside of this site or arrangements. For arrangements with a mentor focus, mentorship comes once that’s happened and the arrangement begins, because it’s a part of that. My point is that I’m not going to spend months getting to know someone if there’s a good chance at the end of it I’ll find it’s not a fit. Having to do that with several guys at a time, or in succession, adds up in terms of time spent. Those chats do not include the mentorship I want because that’s not an appropriate time for that to begin.

  115. Josh says:

    “There’s an emerging trend of successful men preferring successful women because they’re realizing the woman they’re with is a reflection of themselves to everyone else.”

    What a miserable existence to “need” a woman for this purpose. A “successful” man should confidently walk about without having the “need” to have a pussy as validation.

    Now if a successful man walks about with noble prize winners, Olympic athletes, top pros (men or women) in their respective fields, then THAT would be cool.

  116. Jaybird923 says:

    @Unicorn I like your profile short and sweet but straightforward about what you’re looking for. The only thing I would remove is this line “I’m attracted to different kinds of women, but I’d prefer cute and sweet over hot and sexy.”

    No women wants to be thought of as cute and sweet sounds like something you’d say about your niece or little sister. Even if they are not hot and sexy most women want to believe the man in their life sees them that way.

  117. LadyScarlett says:

    Unicorn Salad? Lol….

  118. MissLady says:

    @unicorn not at a computer at the moment so hard for me to put the ID in my browser on my phone.

    But you must not be too new if you know the profile ID trick

  119. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lovely Than maybe you state that you’d like the extra funds to help with capital and expansion. But the insistence on how you don’t need it is false. If you didn’t need money you wouldn’t ask for it. Which you imply more than once and even go as far as to list exactly how much you’re looking for. And you wouldn’t see someone spending months chatting as a waste of your time. If those chats included the mentorship/companionship you say you want.

  120. MissLady says:

    Yes @lovely, power couples are an emerging trend

  121. Unicorn Salad says:

    Would any SBs be willing to give me some constructive criticism of my profile? I have thick skin, so don’t worry about being nice 🙂

    The profile is e6b6808f. Thanks!

  122. lovelynyours says:

    Thanks so much, @MissLady! I appreciate your suggestions. That makes sense to me, though I do believe there are men who require someone who has accomplished something – it depends on where they’re seeking an arrangement. Those who are in it for sex, they won’t care. Those who are looking for more, for someone who can make conversation with others at a dinner party or who they can be proud to introduce to their friends or business connections, accomplishments will matter a lot more.

    I’m not wealthy at present, by any stretch – my capital goes to my business – but I wanted to show that I have the potential to be on someone’s arm to a degree where people won’t chat with me for 5 minutes and realize he must only be with me because of my looks. There’s an emerging trend of successful men preferring successful women because they’re realizing the woman they’re with is a reflection of themselves to everyone else. For some, it isn’t enough to be pretty – I suppose I just wanted to get that across somehow. You’re right in that I could probably do it in a more effective way that isn’t going to turn most off. Thanks!

  123. rembodler says:

    Oh, I forgot to mention…
    There is also a blog on SA – where everyone can live their fantasy. And give free advice based off that.
    LadyScarlett is one fine example. :-))).

  124. NC Gent says:

    I am a married SD, and I have developed very strong feelings for two of my past SBs. However, if I get divorced, I am never getting married again. If a woman needs a legal contract to be with me, then she isn’t the woman for me. I made that mistake once when I believed in romantic love 🙂

  125. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    Again, thank you for last night. It was a treat to meet the “real” you and I appreciate the time you “scheduled” to see me. It was fun to chat with an intelligent, appreciative SD. I am glad you are able to put the myth of my “proxy” time to an end. You are a great looking gentleman with a kind heart, in a bit of a difficult situation. Thanks again!

  126. MissLady says:

    @josh No they don’t. Their relationships are real.

    And she’s looking for the same type of ‘real’ that they have

  127. lovelynyours says:

    Jaybird, I do mention in my profile that I’m seeking a mentor. I am accomplished, was successful, and plan to be again with this new venture. I don’t need an SD – I want one. I also want a mentor. I don’t need one, I have mentors. But I can always use another perspective. That’s important to me. I want someone who isn’t going to spend months of my time chatting because given my new venture, I don’t have that kind of time to spend unless I know it’s going to go somewhere. It’s the same reason why I don’t just traditionally date. Time’s important to me.

    I want an SD because it’s a hell of a lot of fun. I’m dominant in the boardroom, but I like the “power play”, for lack of a better word, that inherently exists in SB arrangements.I like the dominant, mentor, distinguished type. And having an allowance that I can put towards capital and expansion is a plus. I think if someone’s on here because they NEED one, they should rethink their life plan. But that’s just my opinion.

  128. Josh says:

    Giving up wifey is a noble cause. Taking up SB as the next wife is idiotic.

  129. MissLady says:

    Yes @jay!! I couldn’t figure out what was bothering me either and that’s it.

    @lovely maybe you should downplay the wealth/accomplishment somehow. I get that you’re trying to convey but just use your job section. You don’t want him to feel like he’s competing with you, although your ideal type wouldn’t care cause he meets or exceeds it

  130. LadyScarlett says:

    SunshineSer, do not let some of the blog men get to you…as you say, there are the minority here who are quite loud and repititous with their opinions, but it does not make it so with everyone, obviously. They have their own issues, so leave them to it.

    I have had arrangements where the gentlemen started off honoring the financial portion of the agreement before any intimate sex, as it is not only about sex, at least from what I offer and have experienced. And some of those arrangements stayed platonic–at the man’s request, or at least to wait for some time. What you were/are looking for is not that rare at all…in fact, many men who I have met or emailed with in the past complain of the quality on site, or of the women seeking purely transactional only, so they were impressed with women who are intelligent and express themselves well, and look for something with more depth like you appear to. I am sure you do well here.

  131. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    Married SD’s – Question for you.
    Have you ever been with an SB whom you came close or considered giving up “wifey”? Not to necessarily marry SB, but has there been an SB in your live that was very close to ending your marriage? Just curious with all the chatter above.

  132. Josh says:


    “@josh, she is not living in a different world, sexy, Kenna and struggle all had those types of sugar arrangements and had her same outlook to sugar”

    No they don’t. Their relationships are real.

  133. Jaybird923 says:

    I was going to suggest you switch gears, with your background you could be a Sugar Momma.

    @Lovely Maybe that’s it! What’s triggering to off feeling. If you’re so accomplished and successful why do you need and SD? Especially one who know’s what these arrangements entail and is willing to start the arrangement right away.

    If you were looking for business connection and a mentor your profile would work. But those statements make it ring false. It feels like smoke and mirrors to cover up that your intent is the same as most women on this site.

  134. lovelynyours says:

    Lol, I thought about it once, back when I was still on Wall Street. But nah, not for me. An SB makes more sense given my desires at the moment, having just incorporated a business.

    Perhaps I’ll weed out more than I intend – there is always that risk. If I can shorten it and still get my point across, I’ll certainly do that. Any repetitive areas would be great to cut.

  135. NC Gent says:

    Rem – I see the point you are trying to make. I think the point MissLady and I were trying to make is that many of the sugar relationships are actually like real relationships and involve a getting to know you phase. They are so much like real relationships that they end in marriage. Not saying that is for everyone, but some people like sugar relationships that feel like a real relationship. Others are just looking for sex and money — whatever floats one boat.

  136. lovelynyours says:

    Fair enough, Jay – thanks.

    @ATL, it’s all about what you’re looking for. There is a multi-millionaire on this site who claim to make only $200K or 300K because while he wants a SB, he wanted to weed out the types who hunt for ultra-wealthy men because he believes those women are more trouble than they’re worth (and yes, I was given links to publicly available info with his name all over it that makes his true wealth & accomplishments clear) – and there are people who have long profiles because they want the kind of person who’ll take the time to read them and show an interest, and want to weed out the types who find reading a chore. There was a guy who had a really, really long one. I skimmed it all and agree it was too long, but I wouldn’t knock him for it – it just means I’m not what he’s looking for. And that’s okay. 🙂

  137. THEATLSD says:

    If you are willing to travel that makes sense to have the profile. It has worked for others on here. Most notable Struggles.

    You are correct that a long profile will weed out the SD. A lot of them. 🙂

    The whole sapiosexual thing is over played. You are way ahead of most SB on grammar and spelling alone.

    I was going to suggest you switch gears, with your background you could be a Sugar Momma.

  138. rembodler says:

    I am not saying “winning a lottery” as in “winning”. Just a type of strategy. You can get money through winning a lottery or through gambling. Comparing to “looking for a regular employment” which, I presume is the strategy most of us are using on SA.
    An SB marrying an SD is not “winning” in the lottery in a sense having them descending on your house with a 10mln poster-size check and a helicopter. Could be more like winning a couple thousand dollars, enough to fix your truck and buy a couple of beers.

  139. gentleman soul says:

    The thing is do I want to spend that much on Sugar, do I want to put up with the Self Entitlement that many of these women have and also do I want to pay that much when I could pay a lot less for an equally if not better looking woman?

    Good point and I agree. My wife is uber high end and I am sick and tired of the designer shit that comes home day after day . Her jewelry safe would rival Tiffanies. It is overrated . It is actually a relief to be with a simpler girl who thinks eating at Outback is a high end experience and who comes in to see me in mini shorts and a beater Tee with no bra. .

  140. MissLady says:

    To hear the kind of talk around here NC you would think was up there with unicorns

  141. gentleman soul says:

    As a single SD I want more….

    attractive – certainly
    sensual – essential
    comfortable in the relationship (vs pleasure by the hour) essential
    intelligent – nothing more depressing that waking up with someone who is challenged
    nice / genuine – I don’t like to reward mean people in the bedroom or highway

    Amen !-and I would too if I were not “under the eye”

  142. THEATLSD says:

    @Miss lady
    Well it’s hard to convince people that like to hear themselves talk. I really find no need for lengthy profiles. It’s like Goldilocks not too short, not to long, just right.

  143. NC Gent says:

    An SD and SB getting married has way higher odds than winning a big lottery. I have a friend that married his SB, and I have met several SBs that know an SB that married their SD.

  144. MissLady says:

    Lol @ rem, I used them because josh always raised them up as SB’s to emulate, so I wasn’t understanding why their philosophy was all of a sudden a different world

    Also rem, odds of those types of sugar arrangements are not in the lottery range (like getting married to a SD)

  145. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lovely That’s the thing. It’s like one of those hidden picture games where you know something is off but you just can’t pinpoint what it is. I’ve been reading your profile since yesterday when you first appeared on the blog. And every time I read it, it feels off but I can’t point to one phrase or sentence to explain what’s triggering that feeling. I just know the impression I’m left with after reading it. I hope more people will chime in to offer their prospective.

  146. gentleman soul says:

    @ IHF2030
    Too much make-up is a huge turnoff for me; as is use of too much perfume. Also, I dislike nail polish and wish women would use clear polish or none at all. So, I guess that makes me a minimalist.

    A married SD does not need lipstick on the collar,a foreign scent on his clothes ,makeup smudges here and there . The M&G might be a time to look your “best” ladies but be sensitive to your Daddy’s needs

  147. NC Gent says:

    interesting conversation…. I am not willing to provide more than reimbursement of reasonable expenses during the “get to know you” phase of the sugar relationship. If the SB isn’t ok with that, she isn’t for me. From my personal experience, if you invest some time and have some patience with an SB, the sugar relationship is much more enjoyable and you tend to obtain a higher quality woman. I really don’t want an SB that is willing to jump into bed with me on the first date, but I know that works for others — no judgement. If you just want sex with a low volume provider, you can find that here too. In the end, it all depends upon what the individual is seeking. Nonetheless, if you have unrealistic expectations (like $5k a month while you decide if he is the SD for you), then there is a high probability you will end up with nothing. It is all about risk-reward and balancing expectations and outcomes.

    On a more positive note, I had dinner with a pot SB. Once again, she didn’t look like her pictures, but this time it was very pleasant. She looked a lot better because she had posted pictures that kind of looked like her. So now I have a second date with someone that looks like Keira Knightley, and no other SDs know she actually looks like that 🙂

  148. lovelynyours says:

    @ATL, you’re probably right on the IRL front – that’s the vibe I’m starting to get. I’ll keep dabbling, though – because you really never know. Plus I love travel and the idea of flying out to see an SD who lives elsewhere is doable for me. Lol, I see your point on that pic. Thanks.

    It is a little long, but it’s deliberate. I’m a sapiosexual – I really like intelligence. So I feel like the length helps me automatically weed out guys who wouldn’t bother reading through it, and perhaps even the guys who aren’t interested in much else but the physical component. They won’t care about who I am as a person, so they’ll move onto the next profile. Can you show me where I repeat myself? No need to quote directly, but third paragraph, etc. is fine. I’d like to clean that up, if I can.

  149. MissLady says:

    Lol @ATL after Michener I’ve decided not to criticize how long a profile is

  150. rembodler says:

    MissLady says:
    June 25, 2015 at 6:33 am
    @josh, she is not living in a different world, sexy, Kenna etc…”
    No reason not to buy a lottery ticket everyday, as soon as you have a job. That – trying to win a lottery – is a completely legitimate approach to SA. Membership is free and you are just going to check them and (maybe) never reply.
    Not so much a different world, just a different member strategy. She is perfectly entitled to use it.

  151. lovelynyours says:

    @Jaybird – interesting perspective. I see your point on the three where you can’t see all of my body – I’ll probably remove the mirror selfie. I hate those, anyway. It’s true that I don’t need an SD, but would love more details on how specifically I’m coming off as he should be lucky to give me money, especially since I don’t mention getting money but once or twice. Definitely don’t want to seem money focused since there’s more to it for me. Didn’t realize that selfie came off fuzzy – I think my cameraphone sucks. I’ll work on that; thanks. How might you advise showing I care about my SD without.. well, saying I care about my SD? Any insight would be great.

    @MissLady – I like your suggestions, especially around visualization and using you rather than I. Thanks!

  152. Sunshine2serenity says:

    Thank you. You expressed what I mean to say.
    I think there is variety. I know what works for me and I am able to find that on SA. Clearly other people are looking for different things and that’s what they look for on SA.

    That’s the thing. If my SD goes bankrupt I don’t run away. Yes in arrangement world I would be free to but I like the guy so I want to help him if I can. I would take care of him until he was back on his feet just as he has taken care of me while I’m organizing my life. If I didn’t want to care for him and just took the money then I would be purely using him for cash which I does not fit into my personal system of ethics.

  153. THEATLSD says:

    I read profile the other day it’s a little long and you repeat yourself.
    As for pics. You need to crop the other people out the pic. The one pic of you standing on the steps and the guy sitting in front of you looks like you have him on a leash. 🙂

    I think you would do better IRL. The type of SD you are looking for is probably not real prevelant On SA.

  154. MissLady says:

    @josh, she is not living in a different world, sexy, Kenna and struggle all had those types of sugar arrangements and had her same outlook to sugar

  155. Sunshine2serenity says:


    I meet SDs who are respectful of my attitude towards arrangements. They like my approach and they’re happy being generous and kind. It may be a whole other world but it exists and I live in it so it works for me.

    That’s all I really want to get across that there is a middle ground between guys who give 10,000+ for a platonic date and rooms full of designer clothes and guys who want sex as cheap as possible with the hottest most intelligent woman (although there seems to be complaints that there are too many who think being pretty is enough).

    There are guys who want something like a relationship but only want something that is relatively short term. They like to be generous because that means that the person they are with is happy and it’s something they enjoy doing. I respect their attitude and their generosity and do my best to keep them happy because making them happy makes me happy (as is the case in all good relationships) and no I don’t mean that in a crass way – it feels good to put a smile on a frowny face.

  156. lovelynyours says:

    I see both Josh and Sunshine’s points. Ultimately the heart of the problem is that there are many women out there (who us SBs don’t know about since we don’t see SB profiles) who behave like escorts. They’re about the transaction, they don’t respect themselves and therefore they don’t require respect in return. So they rarely get any. There are also many men out there (who SDs don’t know about since they don’t see SD profiles) who are gentlemen, truly care about the connection, want someone they can have on their arm at a gala or public setting where there are high stakes, want to have a more organic situation (to the extent that it’s feasible), and don’t mind paying for that, even if it means it’s at a premium to find her.

    The transaction-hungry SBs are going to jade the gentlemen into evolving into transaction-focused SDs. The SBs seeking gentlemen may also evolve into transaction-hungry SBs if they’re bombarded by transaction-focused SDs. It isn’t one gender making it dreadful for the other; the issue is a function of both genders with one type of philosophy making it difficult for others, male and female, with a different philosophy towards this. I almost wish SA had categories of SD/SB arrangements that could group like-minded with like-minded to offer a better experience for all.

    Neither of you are wrong per se, you’re just looking at it from very different lenses of experience. And both experiences exist in spades on the sugar spectrum. So luckily, there’s someone for everyone.

  157. rembodler says:

    U misunderstood. What I was saying, I do not expect you to stick around if I got sick or lost my job. In the arrangement world, you are free to text me “goodbye!” and move on. If you are “in a relationship”, it should not depend on a change, temporary or long-term, in my financial circumstances. Apply this test, it is easy.
    Other than that, good luck.

  158. MissLady says:

    On my phone but briefly @lovely, take that photo of you in the hallway out and maybe even that fuzzy selfie. Some of the guys will note as a red flag to them how much you use ‘I’ in your profile. Also you should phrases where the SD can visual himself being there doing those activities with you, so try to incorporate that in there too

  159. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lovely My opinion on your profile after reading it.
    1) You have way too many pictures at least five of them are completely unnecessary since your face or body can’t clearly be seen.

    2) Even though you say you would care about your SD it feels like they are words you just included because you know they are necessary.

    3)After reading your profile more than once I still come back with the sense that you are somehow doing the reader a favor by taking his money and he should consider himself lucky that you’re willing to because you don’t really need him.

    Hopefully some of the SDs will chime in with their thoughts.

  160. Josh says:


    I will leave my comments where they stand. You live in a different world. More power to you if you can pull it off. 😉

  161. Sunshine2serenity says:

    Ugh. Do you read? I have said repeatedly that an allowance is not expected during the “getting to know you phase”.

    Just because a man wants more than sex doesn’t make him a “sucker”.

    I don’t bail when the sugar dries out? I do need to spend more time getting contracts (in my business) if that is the case (especially if he wants me to go to something fancy) but it doesn’t mean I stop seeing the guy until he gives me money – that’s not a gift, that’s a transaction.

  162. Sunshine2serenity says:

    How is it “waffle” if he wants it? Furthermore waffle implies that it is bullshit which is untrue – it’s what happens in my case. Also talking to other SBs the SD who can make a girl feel comfortable has an advantage over guys who don’t bother and think they can just throw the cash down and a girl will worship them. You guys complain about escorts but you want a girl to just be all about the money and spread. You want the sweet girl next door but you want to treat her without respect how even professionals should not be treated.

    Do you see the problem here? I’d say more power to you if you had arrangements that worked for you that way but so much I see here is just complaining about how all the SBs are turning into hookers and they just want money for doing nothing and to use guys. If you treat a woman like an escort she’ll either walk or you’ll get a escort. It’s rather simple.

    Why do you find it so offensive that a guy would be willing to take the time to get a know a woman before he has sex with her? Is it because these guys that do that and like to treat a girl “ruin” it for the rest of you and you can’t get away with your normal tricks? That you can’t con a sweet girl with a fake photo and fake age into having sex with you for cash because there are men out there who are willing to be respectful and kind?

    I’d keep going but its pretty obvious that all you want to do is complain about where have all the sweet girls gone when you do your best to chase them off.

  163. FunDude says:


    Good luck with that. The number of suckers has been decreasing significantly on this website. I see the same women emailing me from months ago.

    Considering I am not even active on the website (paying), that is strong confirmation there aren’t that many men who are willing to give an allowance during the “getting to know you phase”

  164. rembodler says:

    In the end of the day, market forces will decide.
    What you are describing is a relationship, not an arrangement. The deal is, if I hit a rough spot and can no longer afford you, you can bail, no questions asked. Which no one will blame you in sugar for, but in a relationship it is not really cool.
    The problem with what you are saying, you want to call it relationship when it is beneficial for you and an NSA when the sugar dries out…

  165. Sunshine2serenity says:

    I guess it depends on how you define a job? Is every time you get money because it’s a job? If you win the lottery is it because its a job?

    If a guy gives me a gift and that allows me to be self-employed and flexible where is the job component? I’m not working for him? I’m doing what I enjoy out of my own free will? He doesn’t tell me LOOK HERE MISSY you’re going to be at my place and you’re going to get in this position – he says hey I’m free would you like to join me? I think yay he’s free and I can spend some time with him so I meet with him. Nothing complicated about that.

  166. lovelynyours says:

    Thanks, Jaybird. @All, before I unlink my profile, I’d like some opinions. I’m almost afraid to ask, but my curiosity’s getting the better of me. Are there any major red flags that I’m just not thinking about? What’s the vibe I’m putting out when you check it out? Appealing, or notsomuch? Too negative? Any thoughts would be great – I’ll try to keep a thick skin. 🙂

  167. Josh says:

    “Personally when an SD says that he wants to take his time to get to know me and there’s no pressure for intimacy until I’m ready I want to be intimate because that’s something I want to share with them because they genuinely care for how I feel. I want to reciprocate and share that with them. I’m more willing to try things because I know that they will make sure I’m comfortable and happy.”

    Now THIS is a priceless gem. Man has to prove his utility all the while the woman waffles.

  168. Sunshine2serenity says:

    I don’t see how it is confusing – I think it is perfectly clear. They get the company of a young woman who likes them, is attracted to them, enjoys their company and enjoys intimacy. Someone who is happy to be long term friends (without benefits) but doesn’t want to get married. Part of caring about someone is that you want to help them. I want them to be satisfied in every possible way that I can help and they enjoy helping me out. Would you rather spend your time with a girl who is struggling and unhappy or someone who is able to devote a great deal of time to you and making you happy?

    Again – I don’t ask for money when I am getting to know a guy. It’s important to note however that sex is not the end game for all men. Yes it is an important component to a relationship but some guys want exactly that a relationship – just not something that is too involved or has a destination beyond enjoying each other’s company.

    I don’t know where you are getting this focus on money thing from? It is secondary to me than being with a guy who I am attracted to and like. I will not have an arrangement without that. You want me to say that it’s all about the money but it’s not. I’m not in dire need in my private life – I can live without a SD but having one means that I can move ahead with some of the things I would like to do in my life. I’ve had an arrangement without the monetary component because I genuinely liked the guy but I didn’t feel like he was in the position to help me (and hence I did not feel comfortable accepting money from him). I don’t think that is the norm but it does happen.

    I’m not playing games. I’m not here to impress you. This is how I feel about the SB/SD dynamic. I feel like it’s important to get it out there as it is to share that it has no romance and is all about paying for sex. Think of it as more of a mistress type thing if that is easier to understand but there is more to SB/SD than just P4P and “disguised” P4P aka completely NSA hotel room for sex 3 times a month in exchange for money.

  169. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lovely Yes there is a way. you have to sign in where it says post anonymously and if you want to include a picture go to [Gravatar.com] and add a picture using the email address you plan on using on the blog.

  170. lovelynyours says:

    Thanks, Sunshine. I’m in Atlanta so there are plenty of offline prospects here, I’ve read. I won’t give up entirely just yet, but if I do, at least there’s a sizable sugar playground to explore. There is someone I’m meeting next week who I find fascinating. His budget is much lower than is ideal, but we seem to be hitting it off famously. So who knows – maybe I won’t need to.

    I’m curious about the username icons, here. When I click on some it takes me to their profile, but not others. Mine goes to my profile – are you guys able to access that as well? Is there a way to change that so it doesn’t link? Thanks for helping a new blog commenter out!

  171. Josh says:

    “It means that I can work myself around their busy schedule without worrying about getting fired because I’m missing work.”

    Sounds like a “job” to me even if you’re not willing to acknowledge what it is. Since you have high regard for professionals, you are willing to give up on “way more” in income because you want to take it easier and be picky about who you meet on daily, weekly and monthly basis.

  172. Sunshine2serenity says:

    Hang in there! This blog attracts a very vocal minority. There are guys out there who are looking for the same kind of thing as you. However you have to be patient and not let the jaded get to you or if they do – take a break for a bit and come back with a fresh perspective.

  173. rembodler says:

    There are probably men out there “who just want to help”, giving a total stranger 10k in exchange for a month of “let’s get to know each other and see where this takes us!”
    There are also men who like to be hit in the stomach with a baseball bat while you are wearing a latex suit.
    I hope neither of these types is well represented on SA or in the bigger world out there. That will be terrible for us as a species.

  174. cryptic anomaly says:

    *Arrangements Aren’t relationships.

  175. THEATLSD says:

    “This isn’t normal dating, I don’t see any reason why I have to pay and try and romance and impress you and chat until you feel it’s all comfy.”

    Yep. That was my rookie mistake when I first started. Had to recondition my cognitive behavior learned over the years.

  176. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Sunshine – This isn’t about relationships. Relationships aren’t on the clock, they don’t involve money and negotiations. Like Rem mentioned I think what you like is Generous Boyfriends. And what is odd about wanting to feel attraction to your SD? The fact that you still expect money from someone you supposedly like and are attracted to! Lets not play games and be vague here Sunshine! If that is how a woman treats a man she likes than god help the ones she doesn’t like!

    You don’t expect money for your company? I find it hard to believe with your focus on money that you would spend time with a man without money involved. Again you can dress it up all you want but you want money.

    Bitterness towards women? No not really. Pissed off when they play games, when they aren’t honest. A lot of the stuff you have written just comes across as game playing to me. You are desperately trying to make all of it sound like a romance when it is not.

    As I mentioned arrangements are relationships, Value matters if I am paying yes.Don’t like it, bad luck. No doubt your value is your time. You want money for your time. That is your value.

    I have more respect for the SB’s who say what they want, name their price and I can decide from there, what you seem to want is just very confusing to me. SB’s like you make it harder for other SB’s. After hearing your thoughts it just makes me lose all faith in this.

  177. lovelynyours says:

    Hm. From some of the comments on this blog, I’m beginning to wonder if this online component is for me. Maybe I’m just not broken yet, but I truly care about an SD I choose to be with. I select him because he’s all or many of the things I seek in not just a guy whose company I keep, but in a friend. I text or call him because I’m actually curious about how his day went, or how he did on the back 9 this morning…not because I feel obligated to or because it fills some imagined quota of contact.

    If there’s so much dishonesty here, from women and from men, that it makes finding someone who is going to respect me, be interested in who I am as a person and see me as more than the 2nd party to a transaction hard, then perhaps I should stick to offline endeavors. :/ I’ve had a few rude messages lately out of the blue that at first I internalized and thought I’d said something wrong in my profile, but now I’m beginning to wonder if it’s just a product of a guy getting jaded on a site that perhaps inherently creates a transaction-based culture. Heck, maybe it’s both!

  178. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic Thank you for the huge hugs 🙂 xoxo

  179. Josh says:

    The ONLY value a random man has in a woman’s life is his utility.

  180. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy I don’t recall seeing one woman post about needing the allowance during the getting to know you stage (maybe they did before I started following the blog) But why would you need and allowance to get to know someone during that stage the only thing that should be invested from both sides is time.

  181. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Lovely – Thanks for that. Way back I considered a Platonic set up but I realized that spending time with someone, especially doing fun and romantic activities stirs up erotic and affectionate feelings. Do I really want to pay for a situation where affection ends at holding hands and hugging? No, I don’t. Also in terms of what you have been told about men, I will give you the real honest deal.

    Men feel loved and cared for when a woman has sex with them, it is a form of acceptance, so yeah it is kind of odd if a man just wants a platonic arrangement when he could have more. Unless he is going to pay a lot less for it.

    Rem – Exactly. I don’t mind the getting to know you period, all good but not for money. Likewise I don’t get these women who try and be online SB’s selling photos and online chats, given you can get porn for free, including sites with live women performing I just don’t see the appeal. I even saw one online SB expecting substantial. Perhaps they are playing the numbers game, ask enough men and eventually one will say yes?

  182. Sunshine2serenity says:

    @Rem and Cryptic
    I’m not putting other women down as “providing a service” – I have high regard for professionals and I don’t see what is wrong with doing so if you’re able to do that. Personally not my thing. Also professional escorts earn way more than an SB because they work by the hour.

    See what I find with this blog is that there is an overabundance of SDs with your approach while I think it is important to note there are plenty of others out there who don’t approach things the way you do. Just because you have limits on how much you would help doesn’t mean that these women don’t meet men who are happy to assist them. I hear the word delusional get thrown around a lot but its hardly delusional if someone agrees to that amount.

    You’re making assumptions that I demand payment for my company. I don’t expect this but there are guys who are willing to help out. They understand while there may be some bad people who ruin it for the rest of us plenty of us girls are extremely grateful for this and will go the extra mile for a guy who doesn’t take his general bitterness at other women out on us. Do I stay friends with my SD when things end? – if he is OK with that then that is something that I love. Your SD is someone who you should ideally form an emotional connection with – just because the help ends doesn’t mean you suddenly don’t have feelings (unless you’re faking which is problematic). Do I have sex with my SD? Every single arrangement I’ve had has had intimacy because if I like a guy I want that and I enjoy that and I would be disappointed if I couldn’t have that. I’ve turned down platonic arrangements for precisely that reason (yes the fabled unicorns they do exist).

    Cryptic – what is odd about wanting to like and be attracted to her SD? Should she be unattracted and hate her SD? Why would you want to be with someone who hates you or doesn’t want to be around you?

    I find it kind of sad that you approach a relationship with the view of how much value you can get out of it rather than how you feel for the other person. Sad because you’re only shooting yourself in the foot with that attitude. See [h t t p : //greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/5_ways_giving_is_good_for_you]

    I don’t take the job approach to being an SB and I only ask for an amount that makes my life a great deal easier. I’m not in it to milk SDs for all they’re worth just to meet interesting guys who I would otherwise not meet. Men who have different approaches to life who teach me things and whom I can teach a few things. That they’re willing to be generous and help is icing on the cake. It means that I can work myself around their busy schedule without worrying about getting fired because I’m missing work. It means that I have time to find ways to improve their lives when they are with me and when they are not. That to me is an equally valid and for me preferable arrangement than the kind of thing you are proposing.

  183. rembodler says:

    I guess my point is, there is nothing wrong if both parties decide to willingly engage in “getting to know each other” part before they start arrangement. However, that should not be part of the arrangement. To borrow from cryptic_a, “getting to know me” is a tease, a lap dance which is ok in real life and that is where it should stay.
    To someone who agrees for an allowance in exchange for a “I need to know you first” tease…all that will happen, once she finally “knows you”, her demands will only increase. Think about it, she was getting X for doing nothing, in her mind now she is doing something and it will be extra, sign here please…

  184. lovelynyours says:

    Interesting, rem – thanks for your thoughts. I seek a mentor in the SDs I get involved with. I’m genuinely interested in learning about who they are, what they like, and being supportive how I can. I don’t think I could ever be in an arrangement where getting to know them wasn’t necessary – that’s too close to P4P for my taste. I actually really like the idea of being friends after the sugar aspect is over. It sounds like given the kind of attention I prefer to give and my profile, perhaps I’m in an appropriate range? I’ve had a moderate offer recently from someone I met and liked quite a bit, but he’s hesitant about being in an arrangement and I prefer someone who’s all in – didn’t want to feel like I was pressuring him, so I backed off. Interesting point on the chasing front. I suppose I’m not great at chasing. 🙂

    I’ve heard some SDs have a philosophy that’s a bit different – they figure if they can drop $5 – 10K on a dinner party or a night at a club, they don’t mind investing that in a woman they deem quality whose going to appreciate it. But they’re typically not online, and I’ve only heard that applied to business babies – women who are founders and CEOs and use the funds to launch startups or as capital for businesses, etc.

    @cryptic – being treated well by a good person is top priority for some of us, so don’t lose hope! 🙂

    To Sunshine’s point, there are actually SDs out there that either want a platonic arrangement or prefer to make sure everyone’s comfortable before they dive in. They’re really rare, and personally I don’t trust the platonic ones – something just seems off about that since it contradicts everything we’re told about men. Feels like I’m going to end up in a hole in the ground being passed a basket of lotion… but they’re out there, I suppose.

  185. Jaybird923 says:

    @Fundude I won’t go into detail about how asinine that statement is. I have to pick and choose my battles with you or this would turn into a part time ob for me.

    Now what I will say is if you truly believe that statement than why are you now in the process of building a relationship with your girlfriend? What is the point of that if you know she’s not loyal to you and won’t care for you in the long term? Why don’t you just get a Rolodex of women that you can call just to relieve your sexual needs with?

  186. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jaybird – Thanks for that. I am still true to myself but it is just more a case of being awake to the women who are straight up hookers, headcases and whatever else. Also as you say yourself, I know my own worth and it goes beyond money, so if a woman wants to pass me up and try others that is fine by me. I’m kind and romantic but I’m also not stupid or naive. Huge hugs to you too by the way!

    @Fundude – Yep, I have one chasing me now, we were meant to meet last week but she got cold feet, didn’t want to meet so soon after our first message, now she has been chatting to someone else and I guess I’m nicer as she has sent me two messages already.

  187. FunDude says:


    Women often use that “open to great possibilities” to play men. Women have no loyalty or long term care for most men. That is the reality of the situation.

    I think the dishonesty on SA by many women has led this place to becoming more transactional in nature.

  188. FunDude says:

    I have been getting many emails from women that have contacted me months ago. I guess they aren’t getting the allowance they thought.

    Interesting stuff.

  189. Jaybird923 says:

    “I used to have grand romantic ideas about all of this but as I previously mentioned I have found that it just doesn’t work that way and it is actually mostly because of the women and how they see this – ie all about them. So I made it all about me, the way it should be because I’m the one paying.”

    @Cryptic It’s one thing to adjust your personality to deal with the entitled and another to let them alter who you fundamentally are. From interacting with you on and off the blog, I know you’d bring a lot more of value to an arrangement than just money.

    And if someone should come along that’s smart enough to realize and appreciate you for that I would hate to see you pass her by because you weren’t open to the possibility.

  190. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Josh – LOL that is part of the problem I don’t think any man hates women as much as women hate themselves! The other part of the problem is I can get them without paying which makes me even fussier on here.

  191. FunDude says:

    @Crytic and Rem

    There isn’t much to say on here anymore. You two guys are right on point.

    No intimacy= no allowance. Period. If a woman wants to “get to know someone”, she can do that without an allowance.

    I see no reason for a man to pay any allowance in the “getting to know” phase. Ridiculous.

  192. Josh says:

    about all of this but as I previously mentioned I have found that it just doesn’t work that way and it is actually mostly because of the women and how they see this – ie all about them. So I made it all about me, the way it should be because I’m the one paying.”

    If this doesn’t make you a bitter, awkward, can’t-get-women-without-paying-them MISOGYNIST then I don’t know what does. 😉

  193. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Rem – Thanks for that. I agree with you too, once the Sugar stops will there still be contact, a friendship in place? If the answer is no then getting to know each other is not required. In fact it just makes the entire thing even more of a charade.

    I used to have grand romantic ideas about all of this but as I previously mentioned I have found that it just doesn’t work that way and it is actually mostly because of the women and how they see this – ie all about them. So I made it all about me, the way it should be because I’m the one paying.

  194. rembodler says:

    Bingo. Amen, brother.

  195. Jaybird923 says:

    “Seriously, I do it for my benefit”

    @Joey Finally! If you’re going to do something than stand by it and own it. But don’t try to make it out like you’re doing it for their benefit.

    And it matters the same way it would matter to you if you thought you were getting an 18 virgin only to find out that she’s 5 years older and has been riding the cock carousel for a number of years. (Thanks Flyboy for that term) Even if they told you before the arrangement started I’m guessing you would be upset about the deception.

    Like I said before I don’t so much mind if someone fudge the numbers a little so that was never my issue with your post. It was your inability to just accept your action for what it is… a dishonest act that was for your benefit. Now I’ll leave you alone. I’m so glad you appreciated my enthusiastic endorsement 🙂

  196. rembodler says:

    Sorry, hit submit button by accident.
    I do not want to sound rude, but you sound exactly like a kind of SB most men try to avoid.
    If I wanted “to get to know someone” I will be on OKCupid looking for someone “to get to know them” and do everything else two people do together for fun and entertainment, without investing directly into your bank account.
    And, just out of curiosity, what is that exactly a man will get after he “gets to know you”? Again, besides the obvious (intimacy)?
    GB is a generous boyfriend.

  197. cryptic anomaly says:

    @ Sunshine – We crossed over in our posts there. I’m not running a charity, if you find men who have a White Knight fetish that is great for you. But I’m not going to pay a woman while she decides whether or not she might want to have sex with me/likes me. That is just foolish in my opinion. I don’t care if she wants to take her time at all but not on my dime, we can chat all she wants without any money changing hands.

    Personally I find it odd enough that a woman wants to like and be attracted to her SD but also wants to be paid for the time she spends with him.

    I don’t even bother with lap dances because it is paying to be teased. I didn’t get to where I am by being naive.

    The bottom line here for me Sunshine is these women want my money, I am the client they are seeking a contract with. If they want my money they have to impress me, they can chase and seek my attention and convince me they are worth my cash.

    This isn’t normal dating, I don’t see any reason why I have to pay and try and romance and impress you and chat until you feel it’s all comfy.

  198. rembodler says:

    There is no reason to put down other women as “providing service” just because they are happy with less cash.
    When you talk about “getting to know you” with no pressure to be intimate, what is that exactly I need to know about you? That you like to get an allowance without giving anything in return besides “a pleasure of your company”?

  199. cryptic anomaly says:

    @ Rem & Sunshine – What is brought to the table works both ways as well. Quite often it seems that the SB believes her appearance/presence is all that matters and expects men to throw money at her. Some might of course but as many SB’s seek an ongoing arrangement to avoid spending time with many different men how long is a man going to want to pay to see the same woman if all she has going for her is her looks. Remember there are plenty of women on here and if one you like doesn’t work out there will be another like her coming soon.

    I wasn’t born with a silver spoon up my butt, I worked hard to get where I am and made many sacrifices as well, so to spend $5000 a month on a woman is pretty staggering for me even though I can actually afford it. I seek value when I spend my money and a lot of things that men of my income bracket and wealth spend money on don’t appeal to me.

    So what do I bring to the table? I’m genuine, I’m kind and if the woman lets me she will be treated very well, not just materially but also emotionally and as a person. The problem I have been finding on here is women aren’t that keen to be treated well, they chase the big dollars and the easy money. Not all but many. Fair enough if that is what they want.

    But I know my worth and what I can offer and I don’t throw money around carelessly. Just to state my position.

  200. Sunshine2serenity says:

    I assume you mean generous benefactor? What is the difference between that and an SD?

    Personally I find the difference between a man who is a true SD and one who is not is their attitude. If they’re thinking along the lines of how much value am I getting out of this? Rather than about helping the other person while enjoying their company it is about receiving a service and paying for said service. Whereas a true SB/SD relationship is a relationship/fwb based on gifts (intimacy/allowance) rather than a transaction.
    Personally when an SD says that he wants to take his time to get to know me and there’s no pressure for intimacy until I’m ready I want to be intimate because that’s something I want to share with them because they genuinely care for how I feel. I want to reciprocate and share that with them. I’m more willing to try things because I know that they will make sure I’m comfortable and happy.

  201. rembodler says:

    I think what you describe is more along the lines of a GB, not really a SD. And I agree with cryptic, such SB should be available 24/7. Truth be told, if you are seeing someone a few times a month “the quality of your mind” is hard to put into this equation. It gets back to the same old discussion, what is that exactly you bring into the arrangement, besides the obvious.
    And it is also true, things depend on location. Besides the US, I can only speak of UK, that is a totally different playground. And obviously in NYC an SB can ask and can expect a better allowance than in Somewhereville.

  202. Joey says:

    @Jaybird923, thank you for your enthusiastic endorsement.

    Seriously, I do it for my benefit, but as long as the girls know before we start an arrangement why do you think it matters? In fact, even if I do not tell them, why do you think it matters?

  203. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Sunshine – Moderate is reasonable however it all depends on many factors. For moderate I would want a lady who stays the night, almost a girlfriend type feel to it albeit on a once a week or whatever basis. I would expect that the price be offset in various ways.

    Also I think it’s important to keep in mind cultural factors, many of the people on this blog are American, $5000 in America is quite a bit as their salaries/pay is lower than what it is here in Australia where you and I are, so it is relative I believe to area and culture.

  204. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    Fair enough. It all depends on if the SD likes the woman enough as to how much he wishes to help. I don’t like the entitlement attitude either and I think you get what you give (as a general rule). If you’re all about the money you’ll get guys who are all about the sex and vice versa.

    However there are men who are quite comfortable paying a moderate allowance and wish to do so. I don’t feel like this blog reflects that this is the case from the SD side but as an SB while it does take some patience I’ve found legit guys willing to pay that much. So I don’t find SBs are asking too much if they’re getting what they want and the man is comfortable with that.

  205. Jaybird923 says:

    Joey says: “Issue with age is not looks. It is fear. Many of these girls are scared of men as old as I am – they have never talked with a man in his 40s except for their teachers.

    I tell them my actual age after we break the ice and they feel comfortable.”

    @Joey Oh of course, of course! Please forgive me! It’s all makes sense now! You’re so altruistic. Why look at all the trouble you go through just to put those poor girls at ease. However do you find time to do things for yourself when you spend so much time doing good deeds? How could I be so stupid as to believe you’re lying to deceive and manipulate women for your own benefit? Your behavior is totally justifiable.

    As soon as I’m done sending this post I’m going to check and see if it’s possible for regular people nominate great men such as yourself for the Nobel Peace Prize. I know you don’t do your good deeds for the recognition but you my friend, you deserve to be recognized for such selflessness. Good Bless you Joey! We need more people like you in this world. Keep up the good work!

  206. Joey says:

    @Cryptic, @Fundude, @Sunshine,

    I have no interest in having sex with 50 women who have already had sex with 5 other guys each in the past 6 hours.

    I agree that $10K needs to be something special, but some girls are special.

    I would consider that amount, if necessary, if the girl was incredibly beautiful, young (preferably 18), a virgin (until after she was with me), willing to enthusiastically do anything I want in bed while convincing me that I am giving her mind blowing orgasms, available pretty much on demand, and able to convince me that she would be exclusive to me.

    Needless to say, girls like that are few and far between… and those who fit the bill require a lot more work than just flashing cash.

  207. cryptic anomaly says:

    @ Sunshine – P.S I’m not driven by sex but the amount of women on here who show me nude unsolicited nude photos and talk about P4P etc as well as the 10k a month woman I mentioned who was all about sex sessions it does make me lose interest in the whole deal.

    Like Fundude, I can meet women without paying, I just joined here thinking it was going to be different to how it seems to be.

  208. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Sunshine – But that is the thing, many of these women demanding higher prices aren’t that intelligent or interesting either. And as I stated earlier nothing turns me off more than a woman with a sense of self entitlement, gimme, gimme attitude.

    I find higher quality among the women who are wanting Minimal to Practical usually. It’s not strictly about the money it is wanting someone who is going to actually be fun to be around, if she is always carrying on about money and gifts and what she thinks she deserves than she can try her luck elsewhere.

  209. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    @ Cryptic and Fun Dude
    Some guys go for quality of mind as well as looks. If a guy can afford it and is happy to do so then he gets the benefits of that.

    If you’re looking to bone as many beautiful women as possible you’re probably better off going to a higher end brothel and having your fun ;).

  210. cryptic anomaly says:

    @ Fundude – You are right. I was chatting with a woman the other day who is 34, ok looking and she was hoping for $8-10,000 a month. For that amount of money I could go to a brothel and have sex with 50 different women for an hour each.

    Personally I don’t even care if she was a supermodel, it’s still way too high regardless of what I can afford. For that amount of money you would practically expect her to be living with you and who the hell wants that anyway lol

  211. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    If you use reddit there is a subreddit for SBs only. Send me a message at rowrowgara (at) gmail . com.

  212. Amber B. says:

    you could always take your SB to a pool or sauna of some sort… She can’t wear any makeup there hahaha

  213. Joey says:


    Issue with age is not looks. It is fear. Many of these girls are scared of men as old as I am – they have never talked with a man in his 40s except for their teachers.

    I tell them my actual age after we break the ice and they feel comfortable.

  214. FunDude says:


    I think this website does women a disservice by pretending allowances of “moderate” are only slightly above average.

    Who the hell is going to pay an average looking woman 5K/month for a few romantic encounters.
    The chick better be a supermodel.

    Incidentally, I was in Chicago all last week. Brought my gf with me as well during my last weekend to go out to the clubs and party.

    I was able to find plenty of women without giving an “allowance”.

    Ergo, its pointless for me to drop that type of money.

  215. rembodler says:

    Lol, lovely. Moderate IS high end, although SA pretends for it to be middle of the road. True, men love luxury cars, but for a woman to prove she is a Maserati is a big challenge. You do not come with a little tripod tattooed on your forehead. And since we love variety…many who can afford the amount think that having a blonde on Monday, a brunette on Wednesday and a hot Latina lover to spend a weekend with is a better investment.
    Men who can do above and keep all of them @ moderate allowance – I respectfully bow down to. L

  216. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Lovelynyours – I’m not sure if I am a High End SD, however I could if I wanted to afford the Substantial and High allowance amounts. The thing is do I want to spend that much on Sugar, do I want to put up with the Self Entitlement that many of these women have and also do I want to pay that much when I could pay a lot less for an equally if not better looking woman?

    I have chatted with some of the women asking these amounts and they are not shrewd business women at all, they always end up focusing on the money and bore me senseless before even meeting. It’s all about them.

    So my point and my advice to you would be if you want the higher end and just go with the flow and let the man take care of you, you probably end up with more than if you negotiate allowances etc and you won’t bore him with details.

  217. lovelynyours says:

    Thanks, @rem. Am I aiming for high end – not necessarily, if you mean that in terms of allowance and the like. Wouldn’t turn it down, but not my aim. I’d actually be happy closer towards the moderate range for the right guy. My focus is on quality. Big time. Intelligence (that’s huge for me), wit, kindness, sincerity, self-awareness, maturity, respect, communication/social skills, etc. Thanks for the heads up on the bad advice front! Perhaps I’ll wait for the forum to pop up?

  218. flyR says:

    Interesting thoughts 50 posts or so ago from someone who is a married SD and commented to the effect that since most SD’s are married it is by necessity a wilderness of mirrors, that the married SD is almost exclusively focused on appearance and his sexual experience. Sounds like a very honest approach, but, far from universal.

    As a single SD I want more….

    attractive – certainly
    sensual – essential
    comfortable in the relationship (vs pleasure by the hour) essential
    intelligent – nothing more depressing that waking up with someone who is challenged
    nice / genuine – I don’t like to reward mean people in the bedroom or highway

    The comparison is significant to the process of marketing the SB. There is a pretty good dichotomy between what SB’s may be looking for.

  219. Jaybird923 says:

    AN exclusive arrangement should be like an unlimited phone plan.

  220. rembodler says:

    I am always surprised by women who want to meet 3 times a month and have objections to a man being married. I am even more surprised by women who offer 3 times a month to a single man and demand exclusivity.
    I think the bottom line is that I am constantly surprised by women.

  221. MissLady says:

    Lol @ATL one myth down many more to go!

  222. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    Haha. Wow I can’t believe the amount of lying some people do.

    I guess I need to use pictures from a couple of years ago and suddenly become 20 again!

    Thing is I’m not because I appreciate honesty. I prefer married men – they’re not going to try to marry me and there’s not going to be any chance of a normal relationship out of it. I am honest and I expect the same in return. The more you lie to others the easier out is (if you’re any good at it) to lie to yourself. If you’re doing that for any length of time you’re going to be unhappy. So as least lies as possible.

    If you lie about your age and your pictures you’re only encouraging others to do the same to you.

  223. CucumberOnLids says:


    I think the change with extreme makeovers (contouring and several different layers of make-up) came with people that could no longer do the medspa routine as I remember many of the places I used to enjoy had to close their doors. If you add in the Kardashians and their make up routine, the media coverage of transgender/transsexual individuals etc the view of wearing coats of make up has taken center stage.

    Even eyebrows. I remember spending $25-$45 to get my eyebrows shaped, tweezed and waxed. Now many women tweeze their own eyebrows and just draw them on which is something I still don’t know how to do right without looking like a circus clown. I still just get someone to tweeze them and do maintenance touch ups throughout the month.

    What I think the other problem is that to keep up clear healthy looking skin requires a proper diet. In America? lol proper eating habits don’t exist for the majority. Even if you eat right most teens are prone to acne which depending on your skin type can leave deep scars or hyperpigmentation spots. Usually most women panic and cover it up with whatever they can find resulting is more acne as they cover with brushes or pads that hold onto dirt, oils and bacteria. Once that happens thicker make up is needed. Many of the current popular brands are making make-up even more affordable.

    So instead of a young lady spending $1500 a year on facials, she can spend 1/5 of that and get a nice bag of makeup that will last her a few years. That’s the problem the healthy way isn’t necessarily the affordable way.

    Oh and last but not least we live in the ” I want it now” culture which means someone that has severe acne at 19 isn’t going to say well my face will probably clear up by the time I reach 27. She wants to look hot now so bring on the Kardashian make-up tutorial!

    Just to show you how bad acne can be for some people just look at this girl’s transformation. See the 2012-2013 time line? Her face just got swallowed by acne.


  224. rembodler says:

    you can try to ask your questions here and see if you get any useful feedback.
    It is my impression that you are trying to hit a high end of the SA SD clientele. Hence you should be aware that a) most of us are not that b) those of us who assume that role here (e.g. FlyBoy) will give you the worst advice. I suspect you will get the same on the other side too – i.e. SBs who pretend to be successful in securing high end SDs will gives you the worst advice.
    My excuse for being here – now when I am in two “perfect” arrangements, I do not have too be on SA no more. But I am kinda bored and miss the SA chase…
    Just a disclaimer.

  225. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lovely As of now there is no forum but we were told a couple of weeks back that the site is working on getting one up and running. For now most people just post their question here

  226. lovelynyours says:

    Specifically, questions about the online aspect of SB/SD arrangements rather than the arrangements themselves. Appreciate it.

  227. lovelynyours says:

    Probably not the right place for this, but is there a forum where you can ask questions about SB arrangements? Profile questions, sharing advice, the like? Here on SA or elsewhere? New to the blogs as of today, but am into it and have some questions I’d like insight on. Any thoughts are appreciated. Thanks!

  228. SouthernSB says:

    Going back to Tumblr…can’t stand reading “Tales from the Crypt” Eww…

  229. CucumberOnLids says:

    gentleman soul says:

    June 24, 2015 at 11:32 am

    @NC Gent
    I had two recent dates… one with a 34 year old that was really 48 and one with a 38 year old that was really 54.

    OMG ! Even at 34 and 38 they are OTH. How disgusting ! Fat old crones !
    —————————————————————————–Lol! I went through the same with several men. One said he was in his 40s showed up at 69 with liver spots and what appeared to be scales on his skin. Another had dark hair in all of his pictures shows up with hair white as snow. I’m thinking now how exactly did you think you’d get away with that?

  230. Anon says:

    @ATL: You omitted the most likely possibility: Josh is a Fuzzy Muppet. After all, Kermit the Frog was considered a Guru in his day. And Kermit also loved to show off his bare chest.

  231. THEATLSD says:

    Just to let you all know. I’m sitting in a nice little bar with the fabulous GA Peach.

    Which means that:
    1: Josh is a 60 something women pretending to be a man.

    2: josh followed Bruce Jenners lead and is a transsexual.

    3: Josh is the inventor of the best Hologram ever.

    The debate floor is now open!!!

  232. Kramer says:

    I am looser than creamed corn!!

  233. lovelynyours says:

    @Cucumber, I think in high fashion circles, minimalist is the trend. But with the emergence of youtube tutorials and the like, more women are getting into extreme makeup such as contouring and whatnot. You can take chubby cheeks and carve sculpted, high cheekbones now. I can’t imagine how long it takes, but I guess as with anything, the more you do it, the faster it is. Couldn’t imagine having to do that everyday though, just to appear consistent.

  234. SouthernSB says:

    Sitting home listening to Regeeton, while patting myself on the back because I only fudged on my age by one year.

  235. CucumberOnLids says:

    Wow those women look awesome with make-up on. The before pictures are pretty frightening. I thought the new make-up trend was natural make-up that doesn’t look like you’re wearing any.

  236. CucumberOnLids says:

    Lol @ women wearing make up. I have a thing for men that wear make-up. I’ll even apply the lipstick and kiss you a lot! Mmmm Seriously where are the kinky guys on this site? lol

  237. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh It seemed like you were defending their use of it in your post. But I wasn’t sure hence the follow up question. So you’re a no. Thank you for sharing.

  238. IHF2030 says:

    Too much make-up is a huge tu rnoff for me; as is use of too much perfume. Also, I dislike nail polish and wish women would use clear polish or none at all. So, I guess that makes me a minimalist.

  239. Josh says:

    How did you ass-u-me that I am for it? Make-up is a female-serving scam.

  240. LFdM says:


    Oh, I’ve had plenty of conversations that went nowhere once the “let’s meet now” came up. I’ve had several disappear and not respond after that. Which is surprising, because some of them were asking first.

    I never ask them to talk or text first. I’m not giving out that info on myself until I meet them and get a good feeling first. I’m not buying a burner phone just to hide my identity either. There’s probably an app or a tech solution, but I’m just not going to bother.

  241. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh Soo that means you’re for it?

  242. Josh says:

    According to OKCupid a women find a big majority of men below average. Whereas men accurately find half the women below average and half the women above average.

    Reading between the lines…if female makeup is removed from the equation, men will find most women below average…

    And most women will not have a prayer trying to find a man to benefit from his utility value.

  243. MissLady says:

    oh wow @ those examples!! Makeup does wonders, damn, I might have to seriously learn how to do more than just lipstick! lol

  244. MissLady says:

    lol, thanks gentleman and yes, I like the diversity of the bowl

  245. lovelynyours says:

    @Goddess – Nice. I’ve never used photoshop (not tech savvy enough, I’m afraid), but I imagine photographers put their own polish on photos to get them to look so professionally done. Though I suppose the cameras they use probably help with that.

  246. NC Gent says:

    I prefer minimal makeup, and I don’t date women that wear that much makeup.

  247. lovelynyours says:

    Oh man! I literally JUST saw an article that showed just that. Wasn’t specific to SBs, but it shows tons of women responding to what is now being called “makeup shaming” (I guess?) by putting makeup on just half of their faces. I’m interested in hearing from SDs on this as well. Great ask, @Jaybird. Here’s the link if you’re interested, written by a Canadian contributor to HuffPost. [http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/06/24/makeup-shaming_n_7648870.html]

  248. Jaybird923 says:

    Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.

  249. Jaybird923 says:

    Okay since we’ve been talking about deception and appearances. What do you SDs think about excessive makeup? I’m talking about like those Youtube/Instagram videos where at the end they look like a completely different person. Are you guys okay with that as long as the end results are pleasing or do you find it misleading?

  250. NC Gent says:

    Glad you are having success LFdM. My experience has been a bit different, and a lot different than it was 3 years ago. I now have a “rule of 1/3” About one third of the women will disappear when you ask to talk or text (I don’t ask for it right away either), about one third of the women will disappear when you ask to set up a meeting, about one third of the women that show up will actually be like the woman they represented themselves to be. I think a lot of women on this site are just looking for someone to talk to or to reaffirm that they are desirable. I don’t get it but it is the state of affairs from my recent vantage point.

  251. Goddess says:


  252. Goddess says:

    lovely, good point. Though in my 20’s I often photoshopped my pics without thinking and even got really good at the “basics”. Now I’m just proud of my accomplishments and getting excited over new tools. 🙂

  253. I’m sure this has been answered before, but what’s in it for us? You get free user generated content from us, is the SA management going to give out free membership subscriptions for featured stories?

  254. LFdM says:

    I don’t understand why people would lie about their age very well. The whole purpose of SA is to cut through the BS, not add to it. That’s at least why I’m giving it a try.

    First date with my first potential SB went swimmingly. Much easier and simpler than I imagined. I was happy, she was happy. A couple drinks, a little flirting, a little bit of let’s chat about what we want and need out of this.

  255. MissLady says:

    I hit my stride in my 30’s, guess I spent my 20’s being responsible and stuff, but after 29 I understood what I was working with (so to speak) and it was over lol.

  256. gentleman soul says:

    @ MissLady

    that just does it, I’m officially going to be 27!!

    You’re a hottie so I don’t think you fall under the old crohn moniker -lol

    There are indeed some gorgeous older ladies NC . The beauty of the Bowl is that there is somebody for each and everybody .

  257. NC Gent says:

    interesting MissLady — my 40s were incredible, followed closely by my 20s. My thirties, not so much.

  258. MissLady says:

    Lol thanks NC, although i would not re-live them for anything, but my 30’s….good times!

  259. lovelynyours says:

    @Goddess – agreed. I have professionally shot photos though, because just as in anything, lots of people respond positively to sophistication and polish, and that’s simply a part of my personality. But I also make sure I have shots taken with my smartphone and candid shots by photographers as well so that guys get a realistic view of who I am and what I look like in all settings. They can see what I’d look like on any given casual day and what I’d look like in a newspaper or magazine photo at a fundraiser, in addition to the professionally-shot photos I use to build my personal brand. I think all of those sides are important, particularly when I’m dealing with SDs who consider themselves high profile or who are community figures.

  260. PlatinumSB says:

    Hello Everyone! New to Seeking Arrangement so thought I would check out the blog. Interesting debate on age going on. Just read this on a profile:

    ”It is unlikely that anyone under the age of 35 will attract me..not a deal breaker though…”

    This particular SD is listed in his late 40’s. After reading blog that might mean he is 55 who knows? But his profile isn’t the first I have seen mention that or something similar which is a bummer since I am not over 35. So it is not always the youngest who are sought after here in what I have noticed, after going through a few profiles.

  261. Goddess says:

    NC Gent nailed it. I know 20 year olds who are poorly kept (hygiene, personal care etc) but if you meet a 30-40 year old who turns every head, you might have the golden ticket as far as physical attraction goes if that’s your thing and if you want someone who LOOKS great at any age, forgetting the #’s attached to her dimensions. It might be hair, smile, body, legs, eyes or a combination of any/all of those.

  262. Goddess says:

    I cannot candidly speak about my submissive men on here like I would with experienced lifestylers but all I can say is Josh’s comment about slavery caused me to illicit a chuckle. I once had a fellow feign a reaction and that’s when I realized I need authenticity to get turned on and turned up. Rembolder I would say “bless your heart” to the fellow who would pursue someone fraudulent despite that dishonesty is the foundation where things began. I am not that charitable. But I think men are different in that snapshot moments can sometimes capture their interest rather than the overall picture. I can look at a photoshopped picture and know it is attainable for any woman with the right make up, lighting and 6 hours of adobe photoshop. The person you will be with is not a snapshot, it’s the person you’re meeting at Starbucks. You measure that person up to all other individuals, not her picture. Otherwise such arrangements will be short lived unless despite being an insecure liar, her personality is off the charts.

  263. NC Gent says:

    @MissLady — welcome back to your 20s – I hope they are even better the second time around.

  264. lovelynyours says:

    @NCGent – LMAO. Aw, that’s horrible. I don’t get it! Don’t people understand that they’re going to be found out eventually, whether it’s upon meeting or down the road?? Why not just be honest and find someone who’s going to appreciate you for you? Makes for entertaining stories to tell, though! Silver lining? Lol.

    …though I guess that’s easy for me to say since I am in my 20’s. But still. Good lord.

  265. NC Gent says:

    @gentleman soul — to date, the hottest woman I ever dated was 34 when I dated her…. all the men (and even most of the boys) were checking her out…. not common, but I find a woman in her 30s who keeps herself fit to be extremely sexy! (I know what you said was partly in jest)

  266. MissLady says:

    @gentleman they are OTH. How disgusting ! old crones !

    hey, hey, hey I resemble those remarks…..

  267. MissLady says:

    @NCGent Regarding the discussion of age, I had two recent dates… one with a 34 year old that was really 48 and one with a 38 year old that was really 54.

    that just does it, I’m officially going to be 27!!

  268. gentleman soul says:

    @NC Gent
    I had two recent dates… one with a 34 year old that was really 48 and one with a 38 year old that was really 54.

    OMG ! Even at 34 and 38 they are OTH. How disgusting ! Fat old crones !

  269. NC Gent says:

    I find it shocking to learn that a SB might have more than one SD (or bf for that matter). Even more shocking that SBs lie; who would have thought that? Fortunately, the SBs like Chelsea are rather easily discovered after a date or two. It is extremely rare to find an SB (and SD for that matter) that is completely honest, just like in regular dating.

    Regarding the discussion of age, I had two recent dates… one with a 34 year old that was really 48 and one with a 38 year old that was really 54. Both were about 15-20 pounds heavier than their photos (and obviously older). I am in my early 50s, and although it isn’t my preference, I am going to stick to 20-somethings, because usually the depicted age is accurate.

  270. MissLady says:

    Well, who knew?? Since it’s a common practice to fudge the numbers by a few years and embellish on some of my finer features, I need to go back and do a profile revamp!! Just hate being behind the curve….

  271. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL LOL I know I was just messing with you :-))

  272. THEATLSD says:

    Ha. That’s what I get for trying to post when I’m busy. No not you. I was speaking in general.

  273. lovelynyours says:

    I think it’s pretty horrible that people are advising SBs to lie about anything. I suppose there are strict NSA arrangements that inherently require one’s involvement outside of the arrangement to be none of the other parties’ business, but even in that case, the appropriate response should be (whether there are other SDs in the picture or not), “There are no strings attached here and I’m not okay with you asking that question.” There’s still no need to lie about it.

    I think it goes both ways, though. SDs are untruthful sometimes as well, whether it’s on their profile about what their incomes/age/marriage status is, to years into an arrangement. Often to unfortunate consequences. The most fruitful arrangements, in my opinion, are those that insist on open and honest lines of communication at all times. Both parties are open and upfront about their needs, desires, limitations, and dealbreakers – even when that means the arrangement gets called off or never starts. Everyone’s goal should be to find the SD or SB that they can be themselves with and be accepted for who they are, their circumstances, and what they truly bring to the table.

    Personally, I think it was really stupid of Chelsea to advise that. On top of deterring quality suitors, it sort of casts yet another dark lens on SBs that isn’t anywhere remotely close to how a decent SB behaves. Talk about fodder for already-judgemental journalists and individuals. Blech.

  274. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL I think your last statement needs you to further elaborate. lol I’m a bit confused. Hopefuly I’m not being called a Tranny 🙂

  275. Jaybird923 says:

    @Dubs Of course I agree that it’s a deterrent to the gentleman on the site. I’ve been quite vocal actually about not liking the mentality they are breeding. This isn’t an issue that only effect the men on the site. It has a negative side effect on the legitimate women who understand the true purpose of an SD/SB arrangement.

    When the entitled start out numbering the rest of us we’ll all be lumped into the same category. And when more and more men become disenchanted with the site there’ll be less men of quality to choose from.

  276. THEATLSD says:

    What happens if misrepresent your race or gender? And show up to a meet!! Now that would some good entertainment.

    There was a Tranny on one of the old blogs complaining about not finding a SD.

  277. D Dubs says:

    @jbird –

    I agree it was biased.
    Again, my issue is with the SBs in attendance being taught to lie to their SDs or potential SDs.
    Don’t you agree that would be an issue to the gentlemen on the site?

  278. lovelynyours says:

    @gentleman soul – Yeah. That sounds utterly exhausting, and more than a little depressing. For me, it’s quality that matters. Especially because I enjoy these arrangements for much more than just money. I don’t have more than one at a time. But to each their own, I suppose. I do hope that number was exaggerated or taken out of context somehow. Yikes.

  279. D Dubs says:

    @lovely –

    fair enough. 🙂

  280. Jaybird923 says:

    @Dubs I didn’t say her article wasn’t valid I said it was extremely biased. Are you going to argue that point? In Fact if you read any other comments I made you would see where I say I don’t doubt the subjects being discussed are indeed true.

    Based on personal experience the women who tend to be that judgmental are not what most would refer to has “relatively attractive” But like I always say there are exceptions to every rule.

  281. gentleman soul says:

    In my ideal scenario -I would like to have a completely open and honest relationship with my SB -who i adore and treasure -as she does me . I’ve had that before and it is wonderful ! For now though I must settle for a 22 yr old hot college girl to sleep with for an hour /week . She is not emotionally open and just needs the help.

  282. gentleman soul says:

    I was impressed by the lecturer running 30 SDs simultaneously . Now that is a Pro by anyone’s definition. When does Sugaring cross the line ? She must have been pulling down a cool $30 K/month minimum assuming $1000 /guy . I’m sure it was a multiple of that . Pretty amazing time -and vaginal management I would say .

  283. lovelynyours says:

    @D Dubs – I get that. But then naturally, you shouldn’t have tagged me in your response, because you’ve made it clear now that you weren’t writing in response to what I’d said, but were writing in response to what @JBird said.

    And I first determined the article had little validity when evaluating the biased nature of the content. THEN I assessed the writer’s likelihood of success as an SB from extrapolating info about the majority of women who’ve vocalized similar judgemental sentiments on SB arrangements, in my experience. Yes, she has a sense of humor which helps as a writer, but my comments on her snideness and judgemental qualities absolutely still stand. Being amusing about one’s snideness doesn’t usually make anyone any less snide.

    We’ll go ahead and agree to disagree.

  284. D Dubs says:

    @lovely –

    “Since she had second thoughts when she had to put up a picture it’s more likely she knew she had no chance in hell at succeeding.”

    that is what @JBird wrote…clearly referencing her looks. That’s when I responded that her picture was online accompanying the article and that she didn’t look bad at all. She also seems to have some intelligence and a sense of humor. I found it interesting that you both went after the writer’s ability to be an SB herself when deciding whether the article had any validity.

    My problem with it was how the SBs in attendance were being taught to lie to the potential SDs…everything from their needs to whether they will eventually share intimacy. To me, that’s just patently wrong, and I sincerely doubt the writer just made those things up.

    I stand by my comments as well.

  285. Jaybird923 says:

    @DUbs Not hating at all I saw her picture after I posted my comment. She is relatively attractive but with the attitude she had when entering (see the comment posted by gentleman) she probably still would not have been successful. But who knows with so many men claiming to be scammed and women claiming to get things from “losers” for doing nothing she might have made it in that niche market.

  286. lovelynyours says:

    @gentleman soul – Oh, that’s not what I meant when I said closer to the norm. Lol. I haven’t encountered an SD quite like Keith. Although that’s what some women go for, and there’s nothing wrong with that. 🙂 I just meant that the article itself painted a more objective picture than the Thrillist piece and wasn’t quite so quick to lace the story with one-liners that might cast the concept in a negative light.

  287. lovelynyours says:

    @D Dubs – You’ll note I said that many of these wonder if they’d be sought after as an SB, and the answer is usually no. Whether she’s attractive or not is just one factor in determining whether she’d be sought after. One’s personality and attitude are other factors. And a woman who’s inclined to snidely judge people the way the author has isn’t likely to make for a good companion in general. Imagine dealing with that sort of attitude towards others and life on a regular basis. A number of quality SDs would quickly pass on that. Even all that aside, her attractiveness based on that picture, just like anyone else’s, is subjective. I stand by my comment.

  288. gentleman soul says:


    NYT article -check out “Keith” If you ladies are dealing with a tub of lard like him no wonder you are cynical. Not hatin’ -just sayin’ He might need to pay $10K /month. But then again I am not into obesity on either side of the aisle . Give me a @FunDude any day as an SD candidate

  289. gentleman soul says:

    @D Dubs

    It’s cold and calculating Brrrrr ! And you ladies thing guys are users ?
    “Four years ago, I was tempted to trade my body and time for cash. I had just read about the “mutually beneficial” dating website SeekingArrangement, and becoming a sugar baby seemed like a pretty good gig.”

    “I’d go on a few dates, some rich losers would hand me fat envelopes of cash, and I’d be out before any funny business happened,”

    Bottom line -we both have to assume it is all about business– Guys want sex with a hottie their (grand)daughter’s age and Gals want money. Everything else in between is fluff

  290. Jaybird923 says:

    @Dub I don’t doubt that those things were actually discussed. These aren’t new concepts it’s all over the Tumblr pages. The juggling of SDs was a blog topic here recently in fact. The can provide what ever info they want, it doesn’t mean ever new SB will follow it.

    I didn’t even after reading it over and over again across the internet. And so don’t a great majority of women. The ones who that advice will appeal to are the ones most men already know how to avoid.

  291. D Dubs says:

    @JBird and @lovely – you can click on the writer’s name at the end of the article and see her profile. She is actually relatively attractive in the photograph posted there. I’m pretty sure she could be an SB if she wanted to. Haters gonna hate…indeed.

  292. lovelynyours says:

    @Jaybird923 – I agree with you. I think it’s very easy to shed light on the darker side of SB arrangements by highlighting the vapid and selfish. I don’t know that I agree with all the points Chelsea or Sabine made (if those were in fact accurately portrayed), but I do know that women who derisively opine about SB arrangements do so with envy in their eyes and secretly wondering if they could ever be sought after as an SB. The answer is usually no. As the famous 21st century poet Taylor Swift once lamented…haters gonna hate!

    This one is at least a little more in tune with the norm, so to speak. At least in my opinion. [http://nypost.com/2015/06/20/where-women-learn-how-to-shake-down-their-sugar-daddies-2/]

  293. D Dubs says:

    What was most concerning to me was the “Tips from Chelsea” segment…particularly numbers 4 thru 6.
    This woman was advising those at the meeting.

    4. But also lie sometimes, like if an SD asks if you have other SDs.
    5. Or if you want more money. Hint at bills you don’t have and he’ll be happy to help. He wants to help.
    6. Also lie if you don’t want to sleep with him, but don’t want to ruin the opportunity. Just pretend you will eventually!

    That’s what they were telling the potential SBs at the meeting…unless the writer was making that all up.

  294. Jaybird923 says:

    @Dubs That article is so bias it’s crazy. I don’t think it really matters what was said or done she would have found a way to make it negative. She went there with a self righteous attitude looking to prove how superior she was to the ladies there. And even though she tried to pretend otherwise the envy seeps through her article.

    I sincerely doubt she didn’t go through with joining the site because she found it morally objectionable. Since she had second thoughts when she had to put up a picture it’s more likely she knew she had no chance in hell at succeeding. I’ll take everything she said with a grain of salt.

  295. LittleMissSxyChloe says:

    Truth again Jaybird you are so right! If they really thought that then no lying would be done! There is a difference between being the fantasy, acting the part and playing up a fantasy versus straight up deception in basic physical appearance stats. He would have not liked it if I had shown up without my hair and been fat and short LOL. And any SD who claims he doesn’t care about honesty would still want his baby to be honest about and appear the same as the pictures she had showed him.

  296. D Dubs says:

    if the link doesn’t work, I found it again easily by googling – “thrillist seekingarrangement”

  297. D Dubs says:


    this is the article I mentioned earlier. I’m curious the SDs opinions.

  298. gentleman soul says:

    You do it because you know doing so will make your more appealing to the younger more attractive females.

    Amen Sister ! That is the game. Obviously, Pots who are off the reservation are only going to lose at the M&G. A short fat guy showing fakes of a tall slender one ? -ridiculous ! I look better than the fake pics so I have never had a worry with that strategy.

    how hard you guys(not all) come down on the women who do the same thing

    I agree Jay -what’s good for the goose ,etc. The payoff comes at the M&G if ti gets that far . As I stated above, a fat 40 yr old passing herself off as a 22 yr old hottie is never going to work . If you are going to lie do it convincingly .

    You all are talking conversion rates -that’s what it is all about. Closing the deal.

  299. rembodler says:

    I think the rationale for catfishing is not entirely bad. It is not like you went to a store and they are trying to give you “a similar” item instead of the one you painstakingly researched before ordering. As soon as the product is not entirely out of the realm of possible, I will entertain it. Using the used car lot analogy, if you know cars, you can still get out of that lot with a decent vehicle and the guy who lured you there on false presence is not necessarily to lie about everything. A politician who cheats on his wife is not necessarily a cheater in other ways.

  300. Josh says:

    Honesty…I have no need of. I want good to great actresses. I have no interest in bad actresses who use honesty as their excuse for being boring.

    The greatest potential SB who tried to convince me to be her SD IRL when I was not looking used to change her accent and diction to that of a slave girl from slavery relatd movies when she thought that I was “ordering” her to do something. Now that was great FUN.

  301. Goddess says:

    I think the idea of settling is really eh…creating a path that may not had been there before. Settling and compromising becomes easier once you do it the first time. Deception is deception. If you decide to give such a person an audience and even more of your time it will sour the sugar experience and you will come to accept and even expect this type of behavior. It loosens standards and inhibitions. Not judging those who do give the catfish a chance but just stating what it is setting you up for and the drawbacks of such a seemingly harmless act.

  302. Goddess says:

    JayBird I agree, I don’t think the blog is the right time and place to discuss the difference between Laissez-faire and Keynesian economics. Chalking it up to semantics and lack of understanding is a good idea.
    Rembolder like I said, it really depends on if it is intentional deception vs really just wanting privacy. A skype call before meeting will help but do not recommend offering it as a sign of validity because well, it will attract webcam recorders. It also helps break the ice and makes a difference when someone can see your smile, mannerisms etc etc.

  303. Jaybird923 says:

    “There has to be attraction and chemistry or no deal. I would take less allowance for someone I am more attracted to.”

    @Little I couldn’t agree more. The only people who don’t care about all that are the “pros”. They don’t care how old, what you look like, personality, etc. The longest your wallet is fat and you’re not stingy about doling it out they are good to go.

    And the men know that. That’s the reason behind all the deception is to avoid those types. If they honestly believed everyone was like that why go through the trouble of making themselves more appealing?

  304. rembodler says:

    First dates
    I think we should just have to accept that some proportion of these will get you nowhere. The person who is making him/herself more appealing (weight, age, hight, wealth) knows full well that may backfire. However, they balance it with you not even clicking on their profile. Same way a used car dealer will lie to you about an incredible deal he has for you. Once you arrive, that deal is “gone”, but he has other deals for you. Yes, you can call him on his lie and leave. But then you are there, you need a car, you might stay. So as soon as the dealer has at least someone getting a car, he is ok with the strategy. And if you are upset and leave, swearing… Well, not a big loss.

  305. Jaybird923 says:

    @GOddess NO I didn’t search google to discover what a turnover rate is. It’s something I had to be aware of and monitor throughout my career because high turnover rate is an indication of a deeper problem in a business.

    Your explanation made absolutely no sense to me and I can feel myself beginning to slide down the rabbit hole so I’m going to withdraw from discussion. We’ll chalk it up to semantics.

  306. LittleMissSxyChloe says:

    Preach Jaybird u speak truth here. I had a couple of men use fake pictures. One man in picture was tall attractive with a full head of hair but when I met him he was short and bald. And can you believe what he actually have the NERVE to bitch about to me at dinner? How a girl he met looked different than her pictures. It was like a big elephant in the room. I can’t believe I stayed and when I asked whose picture he used he said it was a friend’s? I wonder if that friend knew what he was doing LOL.

    Be real since I don’t put looks for SD as distant last. There has to be attraction and chemistry or no deal. I would take less allowance for someone I am more attracted to. And being deceitful about pics and age? well what else r u lying about? This is supposed to be an honest process or so I thought.

  307. Goddess says:

    I got it now, we are interpreting conversion rate differently. My conversion rate to me would be the one guy out of how many hundred that I decide is the right guy for me and my situation. Turnover rate for me = emails>phone calls. Or phone calls>meeting. I still don’t consider it as a tangible part of my life/conversion rate unless it actually is a “checkout”. “Turnover rate is the percentage of employees in a workforce that leave during a certain period of time.” If you search google, yes, first definition but if you notice, it is applicable to holding interviews and probationary hire as well. For both SD and SB, any time we take from each other= time in the metaphorical “work force”, just without compensation. 🙂

  308. Goddess says:

    Also yes, you should have recent candid face photos (I have several without any makeup at all, it’s how I wake up after all and far less sexy than those on my profile). I think those should be used. I personally don’t think I am that photogenic but I avoid using filters when presenting myself with someone I will meet one day. I rather have someone pleasantly surprised than disappointed. I did fudge facts about me like DOB. I tend to do that more on sites that do request DOB rather than age. I also fudged my location to avoid creepers like faceless internet dude with not so much as his height and weight on his profile but is local to me. I don’t need stalkers.

  309. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goddess no actually I’m not. In the example you used you stated that you use to get 90% of the men to meet you and now you get 50% If we assume you are the product that being offered that means 90% of the men who walked in to your shop(profile) bought something (a meet with you) so that means you converted 90% of the men into consumers.

    And I have never in my years of doing operation or when I was in business school seen a turn over rate applied to anything but people so I have no idea what you are referring to. (If someone else can shed some light on that if I’m wrong I’ll gladly listen.)

  310. Goddess says:

    In closing of my opine of this debate is if your pictures are accurate, recently taken from many angles, your age is fudge by less than 5 years in any direction and where you live is fudged by about 20 miles, that’s OK. Wanting privacy is OK. However that should be clarified within the first couple of emails vs when meeting for the first time. I have had men lie about their age in the range of 20 years and when I meet them it’s anti-climatic but I have never been cruel. Just disinterested in having a second date.

  311. Jaybird923 says:

    @Struggles I agree If I were to come on here and say that I use a picture that kind of look like me but wasn’t they would rip me apart limb by limb.

    @Gentleman And the not having a picture for privacy doesn’t hold water in this day and age. A picture can easily be explained away provided you didn’t but specific private info about yourself in your profile. The same way you’re catfishing people with another guys photo is the same excuse you can use if yours is discovered. What impact would the use of his photo by you have on this poor guys life it was discovered by someone who mattered? Did you think about that before doing it?

  312. Goddess says:

    JayBird actually you’re very incorrect. Conversion rates typically refer to # of people who purchase services offered when browsing. Turn over rate is a flexible term which can be used for PEOPLE, not products or services. Typical internet conversion rate is 10%. This is one of the first things I learned about business YEARS ago.
    Some of the men here are right, the typical SD probably buys a lot more lingerie than the average Joe so knowing measurements must be more accessible to them than even the average female who might only take into account her own and those of close friends vs being able to guess sizes from a glance.
    Pictures from many angles sort of erases that guesswork.
    I think if you do fudge facts on profile for privacy sake that there should be clarification once serious interest is shown.

  313. Jaybird923 says:

    @Gentleman No I’ve stated several time I don’t mind the altered age so much what I have a problem with is how hard you guys(not all) come down on the women who do the same thing

  314. StruggleIsReal says:

    *most of the guys I talked to*

  315. Jaybird923 says:

    attitude the SBs are picking us based on willingness to pay first and then personality, attitude, and looks a distant fourth.

    @Joey If you honestly believed that YOU wouldn’t lie about your age. Rationalize it however you want but don’t insult by intelligence. You do it because you know doing so will make your more appealing to the younger more attractive females.

  316. StruggleIsReal says:

    “I love how so many SDs are being so cavalier about all this dishonest behavior. Fake pictures, lying about their age it’s all justifiable. How many discussion have I seen about how wrong and delusional women are for lying about their age or how SBs should have multiple pictures from different angles to prove it’s really them. The double standard and hypocrisy is alive and well”

    Completely agree! I was reading through some of the SD’s comments just cringing. Fucking creepy.
    I am fine with a few shaved off years especially for anonymity’s sake. Fake pictures? No. Just no. Back when I was on, I would say most of the guys didn’t have pictures up, or at least pictures that showed them much at all. Usually we would swap via email after a few vetting messages. If they didn’t want to swap a photo but seemed legit with their conversation I would do a first meet with them too, of course in a public place and casually.

    @D Dubs
    That’s disgraceful, just like their Instagram, which I had another look at last night. It’s even worse than the first time I saw it. No wonder there are so many escorts and johns on the site. Sick.

  317. gentleman soul says:

    @Jay – I actually agree with you on this…my profile is as honest as I can get with being married (and I actually list myself as married in my profile).
    My pictures are a few years old, but my build is exactly the same, my hairstyle hasn’t changed, etc. I have a few different angles in my private pics, just nothing up close to the face.

    Why not ? But do not delude yourself that if your wife somehow gets on SA and sees your semi disguised picture that she wont recognize you . Most of us did not marry dumb girls .

    Now ,if you are looking for “real” relationship and do not have security worries ,then honesty is mandatory in all respects.

    Be honest with yourselves ladies .As long as an SD is satisfying your needs -allowance,looks,personality,intelligence -do you really care if he misstated his age and used a fake picture ?

  318. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online as always I agree with almost everything you said. I think the SD you’re referring to was asking POTs what age they thought he was and let’s be honest if they are hoping that you’ll become their newest benefactor the last thing they are going to do is be honest. Almost everyone male or female when faced with that question underestimate the age even if they believe it or not so they don’t offend the person asking.

  319. gentleman soul says:

    RE: Honesty
    The premise of sugaring for most men (I ASS- ume) is a lie to start with-ie most of us are married and lie to our spouses(by omission if not commission) . Discovery would be disastrous and totally unnecessary . Therefore all is fair in the pursuit of sugar. We are not looking for a life partner ,but desire a certain lifestyle. I want a hot young girl who hopefully enjoys our time together -or at least acts well. If she fakes a screaming orgasm and pretends that I am the bomb -then I am happy.Because I will certainly get mine. Would i like her to sincerely love and adore me ? Of course ! But in the end if I am happy then she will remain my SB.

  320. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – it would also be better received, again, to UNDERPROMISE and OVERDELIVER on the “lies” you choose to tell in your profile!

    If you can get away with listing yourself at 40 when you’re 47, because pot SBs have said “you don’t more than 40” good on ya…but don’t be surprised if a SB sees you approaching the table in the coffee shop and says, “dude, you’re a hell of a lot older than your profile, I’m not dating my grandpa, I’m out”…

    SAME goes for SBs…if other men have called you athletic, Slim, go for it…if it’s women calling you that, you might want to take the next step up and see what the reaction is, because you don’t REALLY want the SD to walk toward the table and huff at you, call you fat, laugh at you while he says, “you think you’re average…what circus mirror did YOU use for that diagnosis?”

    Do I think it would be that bad…no…but I think there COULD be an instance of that…which could sour someone on the sugar bowl completely, and ruin what could have been a PERFECT next sugar experience!

  321. Joey says:


    I think we assume that although we are picking SBs based on their looks first and then personality and attitude the SBs are picking us based on willingness to pay first and then personality, attitude, and looks a distant fourth.

  322. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – I actually agree with you on this…my profile is as honest as I can get with being married (and I actually list myself as married in my profile).

    My pictures are a few years old, but my build is exactly the same, my hairstyle hasn’t changed, etc. I have a few different angles in my private pics, just nothing up close to the face.

    I list my age (although I put in a different birth date within the same astrological sign) as accurate.

    My build is “A Few Extra Pounds” even though I would probably compare well with the Average or in some cases Athletic builds I’ve seen on the site (I CAN climb multiple flights of stairs without being winded, so I should probably change to athletic, right? hahaha).

    My height is spot on…that is important, because of the height I search for and how some women will filter out specific heights due to HER desire to be shorter than the guy with her heels on.

    I expect an honest profile in return…

    Here’s ONE example of how the SB profile’s changes are worse than the SD profile changes though…most SBs will ask OTHER WOMEN for build tips and age appearance, which means they will ALWAYS be told significantly better/younger than reality due to the other women’s filter…most SDs will ask WOMEN for build tips and age appearance (as mentioned above in the amendment of the age by one of the SDs – sorry can’t scroll up without errors at this moment)…I contend the use of OPPOSITE SEX input will produce a more realistic perspective on the “lie” used in the profile.

  323. Jaybird923 says:

    I love how so many SDs are being so cavalier about all this dishonest behavior. Fake pictures, lying about their age it’s all justifiable. How many discussion have I seen about how wrong and delusional women are for lying about their age or how SBs should have multiple pictures from different angles to prove it’s really them. The double standard and hypocrisy is alive and well

  324. gentleman soul says:

    RE: profile pics

    I must have them to consider an SB . But as a married man and professional I can not put my own pics out there . Fortunately I have a set of fakes that look enough like me . I have never had a complaint or even had anyone question the veracity of them. Actually a lot of girls who write me say how handsome I am . LOL . Thank you Mr X .

  325. gentleman soul says:

    @G soul It’s been forever since I’ve seen you. How are you?

    Hi Sweetie ! Been busy and after catching up from the previous day I’m a day late and a dollar short . I’m keeping an eye on you though ( ;

    RE: weight discussions

    I am in the beanpole camp . I love slim girls with B Cups but I am an equal opportunity lover -at least once . I do not enjoy women who are bigger than I am -height or weight. I am 6 1″ 190 lbs. I love being able to walk around the room deeply inside of my lover and watching us in the mirror. So to do that comfortably my Baby needs to be about 5’2″ 100 lbs. My heavier Babies have other Ass-ets ,but I am not a fan of the Kardashian look. i’ll leave those big booties to everyone else. And if her boobs are bigger than my hands it is just too much for me .

  326. Charlotte says:

    Lacking a profile picture is only annoying when he asks for thousands of pictures of you, while he shows none.

    If he truly believes in privacy therefore doesn’t share any pics, he shouldn’t be asking any pictures either.

    But in this case, how do you meet?

    And they probably don’t share pictures while they aren’t sure to meet “us”.

    Eastern European showers may be much less comfortable than Western ones but, we didn’t invent perfume to cover our body smell, I don’t think it can be as bad as that.

  327. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @D Dubs – I did not read the article, but now I will have to give it a look…if you have a link put it between the square brackets and share please [] just eliminate the http from the address and it should not get flagged by moderation.

    Locally, I have actually seen a shift in the most recent profiles recently…much better writing, more reasonable expectations, etc.

    Does that mean they weren’t “teaching” SBs at the summit how to manipulate men? No…but I’m not even sure if it was SA staff doing the presentations or if it was others SA brought in to do the speaking…either way, not a great way to throw paying members to the wolves.

    I’m more interested in finding out if there was actually any SDs who attended, since there had been SIGNIFICANT discounts and incentives running right up to the weekend of the event…

    If anyone lurking has a summary from either side of the event, please post…I think some of us are more than a little interested!

  328. rembodler says:

    “An escort wouldn’t meet them because they wouldn’t get through their stringent verification process.”
    Oh, I know, Hun. You miss your verification sites, don’t you? If anyone had any doubts whether you are an escort, you just erased them, sweetie. But most of us never really had any doubts, I suppose…

  329. Josh says:

    The guy is “mentoring” the gal.

  330. Josh says:

    “An escort wouldn’t meet them because they wouldn’t get through their stringent verification process.”

    Many “SBs” here look up to escorts. 😉

  331. THEATLSD says:

    Observation # 32
    Is the picture associated with this blog suppose
    To be a SD with a SB writing a blog together?

    Or maybe a Married SD having his hot wife write a blog for him? Ha…I crack myself up!!

  332. Jaybird923 says:

    @ANon You forgiven Thank you xoxo 🙂

  333. Sunshine2serenity says:

    If you’re not comfortable meeting without a photo then you shouldn’t meet. I would suggest however that asking them if they’re a rapist wanted in 4 states might scare off even legitimate men.

    I have met guys without a photo – I do prefer a photo so I know what to expect. If I do that then I meet somewhere very public and full of cameras (casinos are wonderful for this). I also go during the day time and don’t order anything alcoholic.

    I’ve found there are plenty of guys who once they’ve messaged me a bit/talked on the phone are happy to give a picture even if they’re in circumstances that might make them a bit leery of giving out a photo. Generally though I have a fair idea from their messages – if they start throwing around big numbers and not giving me much detailed information about themselves (e.g. what is their favorite sports team, what was the greatest moment they’ve seen in that sport – stuff that isn’t too invasive) then I want a photo and a name or no meeting.

    The one guy I did meet without a photo while he was quite handsome was a total creep and gave me serial killer vibes. It’s moments like those that you are so thankful that you take precautions.

  334. CucumberOnLids says:

    I asked him “how do I know that you’re not a rapist wanted in 4 states?”. What did I receive? No response. Good enough for me as a no.

  335. CucumberOnLids says:

    Thank you Fitness- I just feel like who am I actually meeting? If I’m meeting them in a public place, they’ll know what I look like not the other way around which is kinda creepy. How do I know the person I’ve been talking to is the same person?

  336. CucumberOnLids says:

    @ Petite

    Thanks. I understand the view but for all I know these men could be abducting women. An escort wouldn’t meet them because they wouldn’t get through their stringent verification process. It appears they showed up on a sugar site hoping a SB would trust and hope for the best.

  337. Anon says:

    @Jay. Sorry. You are right. My bad. 🙁

  338. D Dubs says:

    did anyone else read the article through Thrillist?

    Apparently, at this website’s “sugar baby summit”, they were teaching potential SBs that they should “lie” to get what they want. Personally, I’m offended.

    Unfortunately, this site has been attracting more and more of the “escort types” that look for pay for play and have no interest in finding a man who they can enjoy spending time with, and having a connection. Are other long term members of this site seeing this same shift?

    Thanks, and good luck.

  339. Finesse says:

    @CucumberOnLids, if you’re meeting in a public place, it’s probably fine, but I say go with your gut. I never give out my real name, and don’t send a photo if they don’t ask for one. A lot of girls are OK with that.

  340. StruggleIsReal says:

    What is going on with your mouth in your gravatar?

  341. Kane92 says:

    SA should propose a messenger ,Its way less time consuming then these delayed messages ugh.

  342. Joey says:

    @Petite, @CucumberOnLids,

    Online dating is huge in Asia and even guys take tons of selfies to share on QQ, WeChat, and dating sites like MoMo and Jiayuan.

  343. Jaybird923 says:

    @Anon yes I know and by now so does everyone else on the blog. But what I don’t know is if you plan to keep stating it until it ceases to be amusing and starts being weird. In case you were wondering it’s getting there. Can we please move on?

  344. Anon says:

    @Jay says: @Joey okay? Sure everyone has their own taste. But why are you telling me? I didn’t question your taste.
    @Jay. Yes, everyone has their own taste. You KNOW what I want to taste. LOL

  345. Petite says:

    I’m just saying what is a deal-breaker for me. It might not be for others. I am 22. I have always dated older and the typical guy I date outside of sugar is in his 30s-40s. I’m glad no one brings the discrepancy up to you, but I would rather be with someone who I trust to be completely honest with me. I also am not interested in being a part of an extramarital affair; so I’m probably in the minority here.

    I have a couple thoughts. First, I want to say that I wouldn’t meet someone who was that completely private (for my own safety/wellbeing). HOWEVER, if they are Asian from Asia, it’s possible that it’s a culture thing. Online/internet dating does not go over well there because the taking of selfies is thought of as narcissistic behavior (which, I mean, let’s be real– it is.) But from the sound of it, they are likely just using this site for prostitution. If that’s your thing, go for it. If not, don’t :).

  346. Anon says:

    @Joey. My wife was also 5′ 6″ and about 100 lbs when I met her. She was 5′ 6″ 220 lbs when I divorced her. No joke.

  347. Jaybird923 says:

    @Joey okay? Sure everyone has their own taste. But why are you telling me? I didn’t question your taste.

  348. Kramer says:

    These effing pretzels are STILL making me thirsty!

  349. Joey says:


    Everyone has their own taste. My wife is 5’6 and was just 100 pounds when I met her.

  350. Josh says:

    @Anon could as well be Madame @flyR.

  351. Jaybird923 says:

    @Anon Josh is his own person. While I may disagree and debate with him and others my goal is not really to change their opinions or beliefs. It’s to show them another viewpoint.

    Sometimes they agree with me. Sometimes they don’t. And that’s where it ends for me. If you follow the blog closely you’ll notice I make my point and then back off. I’m sorry my new friend but I won’t be able to help you with this one 🙂

  352. Anon says:

    @Reb If he entered into an arrangement with a certain body it’s because it’s what he like. If the body changes it’s his right to end things. Just like if his financial situation changed and he could no longer give her the same amount in allowance she’d probably walk also.
    @Jay. I am blinded by the light of your Wisdom, LOL

  353. Anon says:

    @Josh = Fuzzy Muppet.

    I would LOVE to BE a Fuzzy Muppet if @Jay were pulling my strings.

  354. Jaybird923 says:

    @Reb If he entered into an arrangement with a certain body it’s because it’s what he like. If the body changes it’s his right to end things. Just like if his financial situation changed and he could no longer give her the same amount in allowance she’d probably walk also.

  355. Anon says:

    @Jay. Could you help Fuzzy Muppet get over his gender identity issues. Not HIS gender identity, ala B/C Jenner, but the gender identify of various Blog posters who happen to have different opinions from his. I will accept that in place of my titty tickling/licking award.


  356. Reb says:

    Speaking about weight, a potential SD just told me his last arrangement ended because she “gained weight and I found it disrespectful to the relationship.”

  357. Josh says:


    @Guru knows what to advise to escorts.

  358. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cucumber yes It sounds dangerous It might not be, but why risk it.

  359. Anon says:

    @Jay. Hey, give me a break. I am a West Coast guy. Guy as in GUY. I don’t even like to fly!
    Not yet 9pm here.

  360. CucumberOnLids says:

    Lol @Josh= Hell I may just do that.

  361. Josh says:

    When women ass-u-me that men are idiots, a lot of possibilities open up in dealing with them.

  362. Jaybird923 says:

    @Anon LOL I’m so sorry you missed the deadline. The contest ended at 11:00pm eastern time. But thank you for playing :-))

  363. Josh says:


    Ask him to wire you $1,000 to prove that he is legit.

  364. Anon says:

    @Josh = Fuzzy Muppet.

    I would LOVE to by a Fuzzy Muppet if @Jay were pulling my strings.

  365. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh Okay fair enough. This is one of those instances were we agree to disagree. PAX?

  366. CucumberOnLids says:

    Ok I need some advice here. Can someone tell me why there are a few men that have contacted me with no profile pictures, fake names, possibly a throw away phone yet want to meet? I mean safety wise what would be the point in meeting someone if you don’t even know what they look like?

    Strangely all of these men have “Asian” under race. Now I’m not sure if this is the same guy with multiple accounts or if these are really different SDs that just happen to be Asian and don’t want to show their faces nor provide any information about who they are.

    I mean who would meet a faceless,nameless person off of the site with a possible throw away phone. Is it me or does this seem a tad dangerous?

  367. Josh says:

    @Anon = @FlyGirl

  368. Josh says:

    Men here know fully well that @Jay is not going to offer any titty licking, but it does not stop them from making such requests. Then they wonder where the female delusion comes from…

  369. Anon says:

    Anon says:
    June 22, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    @Josh and @Jay would make the perfect SD/SB match. They would be the poster couple for SA marketing.

    @Jay could move her boring desk job into @Josh’s basement and they could sit in front of their screens 24/7 posting to the blog. The blog version of “Dueling Banjos”.

    Bring in a camera crew and they would garner ratings undreamed of by the Kardashians.

    I write not with malice. But with reverence and respect 🙂

    @Jay: The show could be called “Keeping up with The Bird and Her Clown”.

  370. DowntownLASD says:

    It’s been my experience that when a woman says her figure is “average” she’s actually A Few Extra Pounds. When she says she’s “A Few Extra Pounds,” she’s pretty much obese. Either way, not for my eyes (or investment).

  371. Anon says:

    @Jay. My guess is 160 lbs.

    When can I claim my titty licking prize? LOL

  372. Josh says:

    “I could care less about listing how much you weight but using it as a search criteria will eliminate a great many prospect that do posses the body types you find attractive”

    It’s worth the risk. I don’t do just one kind of filtering. I change filters to see what’s out there.

  373. Jaybird923 says:

    @Joey I haven’t weighted that much since my freshman year in high school. I was supper skinny. Even at 145 I am super skinny.

  374. Jaybird923 says:

    @Catcher LMAO umm no titty licking but thank you for the compliment 🙂 and you guessed wrong I weight in at 160 lbs

  375. Joey says:


    “out of curiosity what is your cut off weight for someone my height 5 foot 8 inches tall”

    About 125 pounds.

  376. Jaybird923 says:

    @Catcher well said. But I specifically said I wouldn’t comment on her profile and I didn’t. Unless someone ask me directly I won’t be commenting on anyone’s profile In the future. I don’t ridicule every poster in fact I’ve managed to help a few. But your point is duly noted.

  377. Catcher 22 says:

    @Jay. I am dying to know what prize you award to the winning guess. I am hoping that it will be the titty licking that was a recent Blog discussion topic LOL

  378. Joey says:


    I happen to like young women in their late teens to early 20s. So I am 27 to 30 years older than them. In addition, I’m in an Asian market outside the US where most of the girls are looking for a rich boyfriend, not a transactional relationship.

    I find that if I put my actual age on my profile all I get in my target age range is hookers. If I shave 10 years off of my age, I get the girls I want, they don’t seem to notice and discrepancy, and if I decide to start an arrangement and tell them they usually decide they don’t care about the age since I don’t look old and disgusting.

  379. Catcher 22 says:

    @Jay. Awesome gravatar :-). My guess: 122 lbs.

  380. Catcher 22 says:

    @Jay. Why would you expect CJinTexas to return to the blog and subject herself to meanspirited comments by you and others? Yes, she did get some much needed profile improvement advice here. But she was not made to feel welcome. Frequent posters like yourself seem to feel they have a proprietary interest in the Blog and make others feel like second class outsiders. So cliquish. So high school. Every poster should be treated with decency and respect, not ridicule.

  381. Jaybird923 says:

    @IHF you really want CJNTEXAS to return lol I must admit I was hoping for the same thing. She seemed like she would provide a lot of entertainment.

  382. IHF2030 says:

    I think that racial preferences and sugar would make for an interesting topic; especially if CJnTexas returns.

  383. MissLady says:

    ok, gotcha Rem

  384. Eloquence says:

    @ Jaybird

    I know dear. The appreciation, in and of itself, is the beauty of compliments. I have never heard a one that has ever hurt anybody.

  385. rembodler says:

    MissLady says:
    June 23, 2015 at 6:21 pm
    Right, so regardless of if she was told 40 or 45, she’s going to use a point of reference (father, his peers) to go by..is what I was getting at.

    Correct, she is/will. So the farther you move yourself away from the “dad” category, the better your chances are. 35 is better then 40 better then 45. But you cannot get into a pathetic territory where you say you are 30 when you are in fact, 20 years older.
    Simple as that.

  386. Promise says:

    Anyone have ideas for blog topics?
    @G soul It’s been forever since I’ve seen you. How are you?

  387. Jaybird923 says:

    @Eloquence I wasn’t fishing for compliments but they are still appreciated 🙂

  388. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh Not playing any games just proving a point. The actual numbers mean very little. I could care less about listing how much you weight but using it as a search criteria will eliminate a great many prospect that do posses the body types you find attractive (not saying mines is for you)

    According to your formula 145 is meaty for someone of my height. I weigh 160 lbs and as you can see besides the tatas I’m no where near meaty. No love handles, No muffin top, etc.

  389. MissLady says:

    @rem Let’s say, her dad. So if you are 20 and your dad is Brad Pitt or James Gandolfini (RIP)… makes a bit of a difference…

    Right, so regardless of if she was told 40 or 45, she’s going to use a point of reference (father, his peers) to go by..is what I was getting at.

  390. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    Perhaps they should also have to include cup size and what services they offer LOL.

  391. MissLady says:

    Has nothing to do with ‘female logic’ Josh, and no where in there did I just single out weight alone. I said her thumbnail pic with her specs (being the weight, height AND age that you mentioned) sounds escortish. Brought to mind a grid of photos all with specs beside them.

  392. Josh says:

    Some female “logic”? Hmmmm.

    What does weight have to do with escort?

  393. rembodler says:

    rem Truth be told, 20 year olds have no first clue.
    not necessarily true, cause the first thing that their mind will pop to for a comparison is either their father or grandfather.
    Hopefully not grandfather (I am trying to subtract at least 40 from 50..sorry…does not work).

    Let’s say, her dad. So if you are 20 and your dad is Brad Pitt or James Gandolfini (RIP)… makes a bit of a difference…

  394. MissLady says:

    @Josh The bottom line is that you post your weight, height and age with photos.

    yeah, that doesn’t smack of escortish…thumbnail photo with her specs beside it….

  395. Josh says:


    From the women’s point of view, you think that revealing the true weight/she is yet another game.to be played with men. It is not.

    The bottom line is that you post your weight, height and age with photos. The guy looks at them and decided if the data and photos make sense.

  396. IHF2030 says:

    I wouldn’t worry too much about Isis. In the near future, the far right will come to power all over Europe and then muslims will be on the receiving end of some serious payback and retribution.

  397. FunDude says:

    Chicago is a great city. Was there all last week. Saw the Chicago Hockey Team that won as well.

  398. FunDude says:

    ISIS is gonna ISIS, hopefully they don’t bring this shit to Europe.


  399. Josh says:

    I have no clue. I need to see someone in person or multiple full size photos to assess the weight.

  400. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    So guys lie about their age and girls don’t want to reveal their weight. Seems like it’s best to let the pictures do the talking ;).

  401. FunDude says:

    Good job Derek Jeter for going DUTCH!!!!


  402. MissLady says:

    @rem Truth be told, 20 year olds have no first clue.

    not necessarily true, cause the first thing that their mind will pop to for a comparison is either their father or grandfather.

  403. rembodler says:

    Age musings
    I understand what I am going to say may sound biased, but.

    Most women in their 20s, for most part, have not been intimate with men in their late 40s. It is very likely, when they timidly embark on SA, the image their mind conjures when you say “45-50” is not that of Brad Pitt (age 51), but that of James Gandolfini (age 51). While it may be true for some, or maybe even in general, it is also true that some men in their late 40s are not “too far gone”. Instead of explaining that to a 20 year old in your profile, it is much easier to say “40”. Truth be told, 20 year olds have no first clue. Anything over the age of 30 is “wow – old…” for them. If you tell them you are 45, you may just spook them. If you tell them you are 40 – they will assume you are.
    I would not go above the 5 years over, although it is possible some men can get away even with 10.

  404. Eloquence says:

    @ Jaybird

    I would guess by your picture that no one complains about what you actually weigh. 🙂

  405. Eloquence says:

    @ Josh

    Yippy skippy! That is ME in sizes. Exception of the large tata’s, however, I will take some allowance for larger ones to be ever present. Then I wouldn’t be the only one clapping and screaming in delight. lol

  406. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh soo at 5’8 I should weight 145lbs. Okay I changed my picture can you tell how much I weight? (anyone may take a guess)

  407. Josh says:

    I like meatier women…

  408. Josh says:

    Rough guideline…

    135 lbs for 5-6″ with 36c tatas, firm stomach and medium sized ass. Go up 5 lbs of weight per inch of height. Give some allowance for bigger tatas and ass.

  409. gentleman soul says:

    @Gentleman The pictures of the women that are same weight and height as me are way bigger. They look 20-25 lbs heavier than I do.

    I know -everybody is unique ,which is why we have to visualize each Pot-either well done pics or at a M&G

  410. gentleman soul says:

    @ONSD Thanks -and to you Jay as well.

  411. Jaybird923 says:

    @Gentleman The pictures of the women that are same weight and height as me are way bigger. They look 20-25 lbs heavier than I do.

  412. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online I believe this is the link @Gentleman was trying to post

  413. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online Doing acrobatics in bed? lol I get it. Everyone has their preference. There’s nothing wrong with that

  414. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @gentleman – you should be able to use the [] brackets to include the actual link…as long as you take out the http it should not get caught in moderation (at least that has worked for me in the past)…I tried typing your suggested link and it did nothing

  415. gentleman soul says:

    RE: weight

    You just have to eyeball each and every person to see whether they appeal to you . It is hard to set a standard and not eliminate a lot of beautiful pots.

    Here is an interesting chart

    cockeyed dot com /photos/bodies/heightweight dot hot mail

  416. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – and that’s where my taste for petite women was born…I don’t mind taller women, I just don’t search for them…they would need to show interest in ME for the interaction to start…

  417. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – a lot of the weight issue, for me, has to do with HOW I like the intimacy…if I can’t confidently manipulate you as we’re being intimate, it won’t be fun for ME…and if I’m not enjoying things, it’s tough for me to focus on my lover’s pleasure!

  418. jaybird923 says:

    @Online of course not. I have a height preference also. I ‘m kinda tall and I like to wear heels 🙂

  419. jaybird923 says:

    Those not does sorry typing on my phone

  420. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @jay – sorry…probably just how I was typing to use the words…doing a bit of digging…probably 175 in the search, but it would have to be a GLORIOUS figure…

    Hope you’re not upset about my preferences for height 😉

  421. jaybird923 says:

    if I was looking for taller women, I had different numbers to use…
    @Online I’m aware of the definition of petite since you made this comment in your prior post I was curious what does number might be 🙂

  422. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Can I just say that a woman with hairy armpits is the most disgusting thing I can imagine…just saw a local news post on Social Media with women showing off the growth…I experienced this as a youth when I traveled, met a gorgeous Swede, fine specimen of a woman…as we were undressing each other, she stepped back and took off her shirt and her hairy armpit just turned my stomach…she didn’t understand my disgust…most depressing experience I’ve had with a woman…

  423. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Miss – EXACTLY! Remember, they also make a 20 and larger in petite…

  424. MissLady says:

    @ONSD PETITE is meant to indicate height, but has become something used for build in most fashion conversations

    YES! I see all shapes of women talking about their ‘petite’ like it’s a badge of honor that they attribute to their size and I’m like no dear, it just means you’re short, they make a 12 in petite too…

  425. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – I never did a search with height/weight at 5’8″…I like petite women and 5’8″ isn’t petite.

    See, “petite” is another word that has been taken over in a different way by women…PETITE is meant to indicate height, but has become something used for build in most fashion conversations.

    Now height issues are defined as “short” and “tall” rather than “petite” and “long”…

  426. jaybird923 says:

    It’s not called “This is what you could have had!”
    @cryptic lol good one. Sounds like a bad game show

  427. cryptic anomaly says:

    Someone mentioned lying about age. If you are going to lie about your age or anything else than be consistent about it. Commit to the lie. I was chatting to one woman who said she was 41 but turns out is really 47, then she tells me her private photos are of her 10 years ago.

    What’s the point in all of that? You just made yourself a liar and a head case all at once. Be honest or see your lies all the way through and don’t post old pics of yourself if you don’t look like that anymore! It’s not called “This is what you could have had!”

  428. jaybird923 says:

    @online out of curiosity what is your cut off weight for someone my height 5 foot 8 inches tall

  429. Josh says:

    I just lost 14 lbs in 7 weeks. I have few more to go. It takes discipline but you can do it.

    Those who cannot control their weight don’t have an unfixable problem. They just like to eatl/drink chemicals as food and a lot of it. That’s the major part of the problem.

  430. SouthernSB says:

    ONSD-Wait, you mean women who are closer to a 20 than a 10 are putting “average” instead of “a few extra pounds”, and how tall are these women BTW? I always thought if you wore a 20 you were “full/overweight” and not “a few extra pounds”. I changed my profile from “average” to “a few extra pounds” and was considering going to “full/overweight” because I went from a 12 to a 14. I’m short so one size really shows up on me. I also got rid of all my full body shots because they weren’t up to date. Seriously though, close to a 20 is “a few extra pounds”?

  431. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – there is also a diagram of three or four women standing next to each other…all the same height…all similar weight (like 10 pounds different)…the “lightest” looked the fattest, the “heaviest” looked the most tone and fit…muscle is heavier than fat…it also doesn’t float as well, so if you wonder about your guy’s “density”, take him to a pool and watch him float…if he struggles to stay above water, he’s muscle dense…if you could toss a keg on his belly and he’d be content to drink away, he’s not!

  432. Petite says:

    I vaguely recall something along those lines.
    I’ve been AWOL for a while 🙂

  433. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – that’s why I included the 150, I knew someone from a gym that was VERY FIT and that was her weight…that was her height…that’s why I used those specific numbers in my search…if I was looking for taller women, I had different numbers to use…same for if I was looking for shorter women…

  434. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @petite – I agree, completely…hey…didn’t we bloggies have a discussion about requiring a specific pose (or poses) for every profile? Or having a graphic representation of body shapes to choose from?

    I would agree that the way it is now is not working…in fact, I’ve encouraged a few in profile support to choose “Average” and in the profile text call it “real life average, not internet average” or something like that…because if we were to poll clothing sizes in the “Average” category, I suspect we’d be closer to size 20 than 10, which, in my mind, puts them in “A Few Extra Pounds” rather than average…but I’m guessing the same would be true for “A Few Extra Pounds”…

  435. Jaybird923 says:

    “if I see a profile and she lists 150 as weight, she better be sporting a 6-pack and visible muscle or she’s just fat to me”

    @Online That’s what I mean if you filtered by weight the 5’4″ 150 lbs girl with the six pack wouldn’t show up in your results and her body is probably hotter than the ones that would. Everyone carries weight differently 2 women can weight the exact same thing and look completely different.

  436. Petite says:

    That makes sense when searching with height. I was referring to searching for weight alone 🙂

  437. Petite says:

    Like I said, to each their own 🙂

  438. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay & @petite – weight plays a MAJOR role if you’re also searching for a height range…on another site, where weight is a searchable feature…I used to search for specific weight with a range. If I know what I have at home, why would I “settle” for someone significantly “worse” than wifey (other than I’m not getting any at home and could here)…see what I mean?

    If I’m looking for 5’4″ or shorter, why would I want to include anyone over say 150? And, if I see a profile and she lists 150 as weight, she better be sporting a 6-pack and visible muscle or she’s just fat to me (maybe harsh, but I KNOW what I have at home and it’s nowhere near that, so why go any worse?)

  439. gentleman soul says:


    I think that on this sort of website, honesty should be much more blunt than in “traditional” dating websites. It bothers me when anyone lies about those specifics (age/weight/height). It just seems so silly.

    I am 10+ yrs older than my profile age . I arrived at that number by polling a dozen SBs I saw over a year. “How old do you think I am ?” I got 45 to 55 ,so I went with mid 50s. Why ? I think a lot of SBs would filter me out based on age in the 60 to 70 range. I’ve never had a complaint. First you have to get in the game. After all (Petite) we aren’t looking for marriage material.

    If an SB states she is 22 and is actually 32 but looks 22,I totally could care less. I am going for the look and feel anyway .

  440. Jaybird923 says:

    @Petite Length? Not I. I would never be crass enough to mention anything of the sort. I’m a classy broad 🙂

  441. Petite says:

    Hahaha! Length, perhaps? In which case smaller is still better for me 😛

  442. Jaybird923 says:

    @Petite Of course. What else would my statement be referring to. :). Also I agree with you about the weight thing it would serve no purpose when conducting a search.

  443. Petite says:

    I can understand for anonymity altering things a bit. I’m just always so confused when someone tells me they are 39 when it’s easy to search and find out they are in their late 40s. Or say they are single when they are married. *shrugs* to each their own, but that makes me think the person isn’t comfortable with themselves and who they are… And what attracts me to older men is that they are at a point in their lives (and mature enough) to know exactly what they want and who they are. But that’s just me. I understand some people don’t care. All the power to you; but it’s a dealbreaker for me.

  444. Petite says:

    Lol. I was referring to height. As is easily inferred, I’m quite petite– so smaller is actually better for me :).

    Having a cut off for weight is weird to me. Height has a lot to do with what an “acceptable” weight is. If I weighed 110 lbs instead of 90, I would look overweight. If someone 5’8″ weighs 110lbs — they are probably crazy skinny.

  445. ss1959 says:

    @Petite says:

    “I think that on this sort of website, honesty should be much more blunt than in “traditional” dating websites. It bothers me when anyone lies about those specifics (age/weight/height). It just seems so silly. It’s not like we’re really here for marriage material. Who cares about the extra 3 years or 3 inches? If you lie about something as fundamental as that, how can I trust you to follow through on our arrangement?

    Same goes for women. Especially considering youth and/or physical appearance is what they’re bringing to the table for the most part.”

    Agreed 100%! My listed age is 1 year off and my listed location is one town over, both for a modicum of anonymity in case some one of my wife’s friends might be browsing the site.

    Other than that I don’t lie about anything here. Why would I? This is the one piece of my life where I can be exactly who I am and ask for exactly what I want.

  446. FunDude says:

    Interesting article about BMI and female weights. Due to women having lower muscle mass, their BMI actually UNDERESTIMATES their obesity rates.


  447. FunDude says:

    Obesity rates are actually too low for females according to BMI studies due to low muscle mass.

  448. LittleMissSxyChloe says:

    LOL! Amen jaybird923!

  449. Jaybird923 says:

    @Petite 3 inches makes a big difference depending on where it’s being added or subtracted.

  450. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh If they did have weight listed what would be your cut off point when conducting a search?

    @Remmy I agree with you. I don’t mind the age thing as long as it’s reasonable. You can’t tell me you’re 45 when you’re really 70.

  451. Petite says:

    Whoa- I’ve been gone a while– You can post with your SA account? That’s spiffy. Does anyone actually do it?

    I think that on this sort of website, honesty should be much more blunt than in “traditional” dating websites. It bothers me when anyone lies about those specifics (age/weight/height). It just seems so silly. It’s not like we’re really here for marriage material. Who cares about the extra 3 years or 3 inches? If you lie about something as fundamental as that, how can I trust you to follow through on our arrangement?

    Same goes for women. Especially considering youth and/or physical appearance is what they’re bringing to the table for the most part.

  452. Josh says:

    Men lying about their age/weight does not give any woman right to do so and vice versa. More realistic thing to do is to expect it.

    The conversation, however, started with making both men and women to declare their weight, as they do with age and height.

  453. Reb says:

    Misslady: Actually, they tend to always write on their profile: “I have been told I look and feel younger than my age!!” Yet in person.. they look their age. It’s a good thing I don’t care how they look physically.

  454. rembodler says:

    Being deceptive about age I find a lot more forgiving for both parties as this is a searchable parameter. I can see your weight, but not your age if you indeed do not look it.
    Unless it is pathetic (37 going on 22) -5 years on both sides is acceptable.

  455. Jaybird923 says:

    @Gentleman I agree with you fat is fat. But most of the men think playing a round of golf every once in a while means they can check athletic. The delusions are on both sides of the sugar bowl.

  456. MissLady says:

    lol @ LittleMiss and Reb, and their reasoning is always, they want to attract younger women…

  457. LittleMissSxyChloe says:

    Oh lordy!! At least scribble out the 90’s all the way, Lol. What I’ve noticed and what u experienced is that women sometimes will shave off a few years but it is the men who will take delusional to another level. Really? You had one list 48 who is 72? I guess he is Benjamin Button then, huh?

  458. Reb says:

    @LittleMissSxyChloe: I don’t even bother asking their real age. I once had a guy send me pictures and it was from the 90’s. He scanned a photograph and scribbled out the date which I could see 90 peering through. I asked him if he could send me a photo from at least 2000… no response lol.

  459. Kramer says:

    My boys can’t swim!

  460. LittleMissSxyChloe says:

    Ha! Just as many men lie about their age on this site and badly. I’ve met men who admitted they were 10 to 12 or more years older than their stated age on profile, after I asked what their real age was. But some looked almost 20 years older. I mean really? Clearly they were much older than they pretended. They aren’t fooling anyone with good or bad eyesight LOL!

  461. Reb says:

    “And many subtract 5-15 years from their age. Now how many of them are looking for an “honest man”, or are those different women who are looking for an honest man?”
    At this point, it is standard to lie about your age. A current guy I am talking to says he is 48, but after I Googled him, he is 72… He doesn’t look that age in photos, but articles don’t lie. My last long-term SD listed 45 and was really 65 lol. I shave off 1-2 year from my real age. My female friend takes off 4 and that’s too much for me.

  462. IHF2030 says:

    I’m shocked that CJnTexas hasn’t returned.

  463. Josh says:

    “Majority of women add or subtract 5-15 lbs from their weight…”

    And many subtract 5-15 years from their age. Now how many of them are looking for an “honest man”, or are those different women who are looking for an honest man?

  464. gentleman soul says:

    @Promise How does athletic depend on the sport? Playing different sports will give you a different physique but you’re still athletic. Is that what you meant?

    It’s funny -I was in Yoga class recently staring at 40 girls in a state of undress and categorizing them into SA body criteria. Anyone with flab regardless of frame has to be a few extra Lbs” Some guy might be muscled up as a gym rat but if he has a gut he is “a few extra lbs” or overtly “overweight” rather than “athletic” Fat is fat my friends

  465. rembodler says:


  466. rembodler says:

    Well, it is not really my job to cure delusions. I would rather live it to professionals: doctors, personal trainers and life coaches.
    And some of them are nice conversationalists…so most of the time my evening is not ruined and, at least, I derive some satisfaction thinking that I am not her BF and, thanks God, I do not have to…

  467. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy There there. Don’t be so hard on yourself Remmy. You didn’t know. I’m sure the men will forgive you. 🙂

  468. Josh says:


    I agree with @Jay on this one. 🙂

  469. rembodler says:

    I apologize to all men out there for perpetuating a few local delusions. I am so very sorry.

  470. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy By choosing to stay you help perpetuate their delusions. And they can rationalize that it didn’t work out because of something else and not the fact that they are bold face liars who intentionally set out to mislead someone.

    If every man who showed up left immediately after discovering the deception they would eventually get the point. But by rewarding them with your time and paying for their drinks/food you become part of the problem.

  471. rembodler says:

    You don’t have to call them out on it I’m pretty sure they’ll figure out why you chose not to stay and maybe…
    No “maybes”. I am old school, I do not get up and leave (neither thru the front door or aforementioned window). Based on the follow-up texts they thought everything went well and they were surprised. Their profiles are still out there, still saying whatever they were saying.
    I think you grossly underestimate the power of a woman’s mind over a pesky mirror…

  472. Josh says:


    When one studies the blog post history one realizes that @Josh tends to have problem with women who have bad attitude toward men.

    Such women are either looking for/attracting idiots, while using the euphemism of “real men”.

  473. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy LOL why do you need a large window? Just thank her for her time an walk out. Any one who goes out of their way to mislead someone about their appearance doesn’t deserve for you to sit there making small talk with them.

    You don’t have to call them out on it I’m pretty sure they’ll figure out why you chose not to stay and maybe they won’t do it to someone else.

  474. rembodler says:

    I don’t think women are dishonest about their weight. They just take a long-term view. They know that they have been fit at some point. Or, sometimes, they feel that, under right circumstances, they can get back to exercise and cut back ice cream consumption to one container instead of three. And so they write “athletic”.
    Men, on the other hand and unfortunately, take a short-term view: do I want to take “all of this” into bed with me right now… or should I excuse myself into a bathroom and hope it has a large window?

  475. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goddess A turn over rate is used to describe the percentage of employees you lose in a certain period. The lower the number the better. (I understand where you were going with this analogy.)

    But a 50% rate would be better than a 90% rate. I think a conversion rate would suit your analogy better. (the percentage of users who take a desired action)

  476. TheMensan says:


    Maybe your typical guy don’t know these things but how would a successful, intelligent man NOT understand bra sizes? Especially if they had multiple GFs. SBs, wives with whom they lingerie shop?

    Also, I have never even known anyone with 50B, lol… That’s scary.

    I can pretty much guess a woman bra size the first time I see them naked and/or have touched them properly. It takes 2 guesses to be safe because different types of bras can support same size breasts (32B or 34A, for example fits on the same girl).

  477. Goddess says:

    @Josh you’d be surprised. Some guys think 50B= large chest rather than large back. Or that 40DD= typical porn star.

  478. Goddess says:

    @Downtown read your blog, well skimmed it. Seems legit and really funny at some points. My yacht guy just got back from Spain and sent me a message this morning. I responded with “oh, all my fans are sending me messages today.” 🙂
    I see a lot more coupled/married sugarbowlers than ever JayBird from years ago when I gave this a solid shot (the open minded crowd). Especially interracial marriages. I feel like the current site uses more intelligent technology as far as deducing suitable matches since all along the SDs have been contacting me with my profile since it’s creation and there is nothing much proactively on my end. aside from asking for business advice if they are in a niche industry I want to indulge into at some point. I think the guys though seem less interested in taking things offline than before, usually I had a 90% turnover rate from emails to meeting. Now not even 50%. And I think I’m more charming now than then. 😛

  479. Jaybird923 says:

    @Downtown Since you’re a veteran at this. I would love to read your prospective on how the sugar bowl has evolved for the better and for the worse. The changes in attitudes and peoples level of acceptance and the direction you see the sugar bowl going in the future.

  480. Jaybird923 says:

    Excuse the wrong word choice I meant eliminate not element

  481. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh LOL No men aren’t idiots and all grapefruits aren’t one size. Just like everyone who would considered slim isn’t one size/weight. My point is that it gave you a reference point.

    Everyone has a general idea of the size range of grapefruits so it would help you element the ones that have no possibility of falling in that category.

  482. Josh says:

    “But if you tell them the one the size of grapefruits they’ll get. Same thing with the body descriptions.”

    My mistake, my mistake…the first rule of engagement is “men are idiots”. As if all grapefruits are one size. 🙁

  483. DowntownLASD says:

    One doesn’t need the SA blog to read my story, although I’m flattered by ATLSD’s request that I contribute my story to this blog. If one were to Google my handle one would easily find my blog and read over 360 posts about my seven years in the Sugar Bowl.

    However, I’d gladly contribute something to the SA Blog if enough people request it.

  484. Josh says:

    “weight is illogical as well unless this man has a fair idea of women’s height vs weight.”

    Of course men are idiots and must be treated as such. Sorry…my mistake.

    “130 lbs at 5’9 looks a lot different than at 5’4 though both women are in the healthy weight range.”

    Who woulda thunk? 🙁

  485. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh Body weight means absolutely nothing in women.(unless you’re obese) We carry it differently. And men have absolutely no clue any way, sort of like bra sizes. If you stood 3 women in front of them and say pick which one is 34 DD they couldn’t do it. But if you tell them the one the size of grapefruits they’ll get. Same thing with the body descriptions.

    No one would be able to guess my weight from just looking at my body. You’d be better off demanding that swimsuit pictures be mandatory so you can get a unrestricted view of what they actually look like.

  486. Jaybird923 says:

    @Moderators There is a problem with the blog. All of the post are not going through when you press submit. Someone should look into that unless there is some new rules we don’t know about.

  487. Jaybird923 says:

    @Promise How does athletic depend on the sport? Playing different sports will give you a different physique but you’re still athletic. Is that what you meant?

  488. Goddess says:

    weight is illogical as well unless this man has a fair idea of women’s height vs weight. 130 lbs at 5’9 looks a lot different than at 5’4 though both women are in the healthy weight range. Also muscle weighs more than fat. Having a body type erases that guesswork and a lot more flexible. Either way you’re still guessing (I’m both athletic and thin). Always been thin though.
    CJ like they said, personally I think your pictures are great, one touched up one is even OK, you are very pretty, great body but yes, profile is very hostile. You have to give the sugar search time to work for you. Meaning patience. My search is REALLY nice because I don’t TRY to force anything. I am my usual self and if it builds to something more over time, great but most men I have met in my life suit me just fine as friends as well if nothing else. Meaning they do value my company beyond my tits, amazing eh? JK… 🙂

  489. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    Why? When my SD is perfectly happy with my body? If I lost weight there would be less butt and breast to play with and more bones to poke him with. I’m a 6-8 US.

  490. Amber B. says:

    … Everyone knows that this is how Western culture is… It’s no surprise @Josh. Deal with it. It’s never going to change.

  491. Josh says:

    Oops…I meant…eat less.

  492. Josh says:

    Stop eating less.

  493. Sunshine2serenity says:

    It seems to be fine as is, if you’re unsure about someone’s pictures then there are plenty of others who you should have no qualms about.
    Don’t see the need for exact weight unless you’re planning on smuggling them in your suitcase and need to know how much you need to pay for extra baggage ;).

  494. Josh says:

    “The body type description is there to protect women & their self esteems…”

    Thank you for acknowledging that the whole fucking Western society is being repositioned to cater to women and their fucking, persistent, on-going low self esteem.

  495. Amber B. says:

    Bottom line is.. They will never add a weight section for women. The body type description is there to protect women & their self esteems… Most women are sensitive about their weights… Majority of women add or subtract 5-15 lbs from their weight if they were say… Filling out a survey. Isn’t there like a rule of thumb? That you don’t ask a woman her weight… Personally, I am curvaceous, yet in shape… I’m very toned.. If I were to put my weight, jaws would drop. Athletic defines my body type better than any number would… But yea, I think it’s all to protect women and their sensitivity … But men, I bet on men profiles they would have no problem putting a weight requirement Hahaha .. Now these SDs are the ones who need it !

  496. Promise says:

    @Jay I think athletic depends on the sport. People that play American football don’t have the same body type as someone that plays soccer, or does gymnastics, or wrestles.

  497. Jaybird923 says:

    Speaking of body types what about the men who choose athletic when they are clearly a few extra pounds according to the pictures. When I think athletic I except to see some muscles of some sort. Is that the general perception or do you consider anyone who regularly plays a sport to be athletic?

  498. Josh says:

    I agree. This “Body Type” nonsense MUST be replaced with weight. If not then increase the fun and remove height. Women then get to decide if they were short, medium, tall, grande, venti, super size, etc.

  499. Sunshine2serenity says:

    I think body shots seem to be the way to go. I listed my profile as average as that’s the category that seems to best fit me but apparently in online-speak that translates to behemoth. So I put a photo of me in a gym outfit and in a dress as public and I have had a complete turn around in messages.
    If anyone knew my exact numbers they might be slightly horrified but I’m genetically blessed with an hourglass shape and a small waist and haven’t had anyone who has been disappointed yet (having accurate photos is key).

  500. StruggleIsReal says:

    Haha you just can’t help yourself! LoL

    I agree with @cryptic. Body weights vary so much with the different body types that I think it would be misleading to have to put down a number. I think he’s right that exemplary photos and an at least somewhat realistic view of oneself should be adequate. The only other thing I think that could be added would be one of those silhouette choices where you select which one most resembles your body to further describe. Also I would say that I think Asians tend to have a more similar build across board than Americans do (small, petite frames, quite lean). I would think that listing their weights would be more fair than the melting pot of Americans. For instance, one of my best friends is Asian and she’s built like a typical Asian, tiny and well-proportioned. I weigh like one and a half of her, lol. One could simply look at the numbers and consider me “too big” or her “too small”, when we are actually built pretty similarly proportionally but just zapped up and down versions of a similar body. Also I have a lot more miscle than her. She’s funny. If she doesn’t eat enough or gets sick or something, she will fall into the double digits. Again I think good photos are the best bet, and also one can describe her body type in her profile. I believe I did when I had my profile up. I think I said something like, “I have an elegant, lean, athletic build” and of course I had my height filled in, so one could get an idea of my figure. I actually did not have a face or body photo up, and got plenty of attention.

  501. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Sunshine – I hate text speak! I have found it is usually older women who do it too. Speak properly people!

    Once at work I received an email from a manager using text speak,I sent it back asking for a translation.

  502. cryptic anomaly says:

    @ Jay, yeah just happened to me too.

  503. cryptic anomaly says:

    Hey Joey,

    I think the body types are fine, weight in itself can be misleading and not take into account a woman who may be athletic and muscular weighing more or a woman who is curvy in all the right ways weighing more due to her being so damn hot.

    Besides if a woman has a few decent photos up then it should be obvious what her body type is even if she is lying on her body type selection.

  504. Joey says:

    Here’s an interesting question for discussion… should SA members have an option to specify their weight in their profile like their heights?

    I’m in Asia and most dating sites here have weight as a profile and search field. From meeting several potential SBs, it is already clear to me that some women who think they are “slim” meet other women’s definitions of “A Few Extra Pounds”. This issue also appears to be ethnic – a “slim” Caucasian woman may have a similar body type to an “average” Asian.

    Should SA just cut to the chase and have a “weight” field for members to fill in?

  505. Kane92 says:

    if its not auntie ann pretzels why bother @kramer lol

  506. Kramer says:

    These Effing pretzels are making me thirsty!!

  507. Sunshine2serenity says:

    Same here.

  508. Jaybird923 says:

    Am I the only who’s post are disappearing after pressing submit? they aren’t being flagged they just aren’t posting

  509. Kane92 says:

    So the motto of discretion , in our personal lives doesn’t apply I suppose .
    There’s just no way I’d share a blog to my other social media sites , I have so much explaining to the others who aren’t even aware or don’t approve of the sugar life itself….jeesh

    No blogspot for muwah.

  510. Jaybird923 says:

    @Sunshine I hate does too. unless they sent an interesting message I automatically send out my rejection message. If you can’t take a couple minutes to write a proper profile I doubt you’re truly serious about being in an arrangement.

  511. Josh says:


    “How young were you when you realized that all men are pigs?”

    The statement is as valid as saying “how young were you when you realized that all women are pigs with lipstick on”.

    Besides talking to Madame @flyR does not constitute talking to a man.

  512. Sunshine2serenity says:

    I’ve yet to see one of those from a guy. Mainly I get irritated because they contact me and have nothing in their profile or because their only interests listed are eating and drinking. I mean who doesn’t like eating and drinking lol. I want to know what they enjoy doing to see if we have common interests :(.

  513. Madison says:

    Heeeeyyy, how’s everybody doing?

  514. Jaybird923 says:

    @Sunshine What about the profiles that are written in all caps? That one bothers me more than the grammatical errors.

  515. Sunshine2serenity says:

    Fair enough! I loathe when I get a message in text speak so I would hope that my profile contains no spelling or grammatical errors.
    I guess some guys might dig the clueless speller but I don’t think my type of man likes that kind of thing :o.

  516. flyR says:

    @sunshine – There are a lot of folks for whom “appearance” is everything and the text is just junk. they are not thinking of their typical market.

    To struggles credit she wrote her profile three levels above her target.. …..

  517. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    Avoid those who cannot spell or use correct grammar if it bothers you.
    I think some do not understand that a profile is a first point of contact. If you are lazy and don’t make the effort then people will view that as your nature and how you will treat the relationship.

  518. StruggleIsReal says:

    I don’t think you’re a “pig” unless you wanna be one 🙂 Men admiring a woman doesn’t qualify as a pig to me. Being outrageous and rude about it does. There’s always the “Pay Pig” just mentioned. LoL That really is a thing too by the way. Definitely a niche but there are totally guys that go for that and get off on it.

  519. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    “The rockin Miss Lady had some good advice for you. Also, the English language is hard to grasp. I suggest Rosetta Stone.”


  520. THEATLSD says:

    The rockin Miss Lady had some good advice for you. Also, the English language is hard to grasp. I suggest Rosetta Stone.

  521. Jj says:

    Good SB’s are very scarce in my area, and the one’s “pretending” to be are “Princesses”
    Actually now read a profile heading from a girl I dated:
    “Seeking Pig payers” “Princess needs her pampering”
    priceless without the MasterCard

  522. Jj says:

    damn… you caught that!!!! my bad

  523. THEATLSD says:

    If you go back a couple of blogs you find that the Venerable FatBastard has left the building. Like Elivs to never return.

    @JJ. Thank you for the vote of confidence even with your Dyslexia 😉

  524. Jj says:

    “*a work meeting, to clarify. LOL” Good girl, Struggles, I was thinking the same thing…. am I a pig? Oh dear!!! just say’n….

  525. Jj says:

    Appears as the “new moderator sheriff is in town!!! LdmF?

  526. StruggleIsReal says:

    Bless your heart back! 🙂
    You are so correct. I had always heard that before and boy did this prove it true.

  527. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    Bless your heart. It happens that way sometimes. When you least expect something, there it is waiting for you. It’s how my late husb. “caught” me. (He chased me for over a year. LOL I finally stopped and realized he was the “happily ever after” for me.)

  528. flyR says:

    One additional rule – blow up your pictures to see what they look like .

    On occasion when they are enlarged the skin becomes blotchy , veins show etc

  529. StruggleIsReal says:

    Absolutely ZERO percent. I was not even looking for something like it. Go figure.

  530. flyR says:

    CJ couple more comments

    if you have 4 full face pictures it seems strange to clip off the head on the 5th

    Some of the photos look airbrushed

  531. flyR says:

    Struggle “I learned from a young age to play the cards I was dealt and also that I was dealt them at no fault or effort of my own… but how I play them is my opportunity in life, just like everyone else.

    Great words of wisdom and very appropriate for sugar. Of course some might speculate the dealer in the sky palmed a few aces for your hand ………..

    Question for struggle when you first appeared here what did you think the probability was that you would find a relationship like the one you have today?

  532. StruggleIsReal says:

    *a work meeting, to clarify. LOL

  533. StruggleIsReal says:

    @Diamond @SA
    I think this sounds like an interesting and exciting development. Thanks for taking note of what is discussed here and applying it. I think we will get some worthwhile submissions!

    I am sure I’ll submit a blog at some point 🙂 I think hearing various experiences of the people you mentioned as well as others would be good for others to see. At the end of the day, it’s all about two people seeking similar things- which can widely vary- or chancing upon something they perhaps weren’t necessarily seeking but that is even better.

    I will give one initial tip that will greatly improve your profile. I don’t even want to bother with the rest until you fully edit it accordingly. Remove ALL the black references. If what you are seeking is a white man who enjoys a nice black woman, say that once and in a positive way in your “what I’m looking for” section. Otherwise, leave every mention of it out.

    I was talking to a nice man this afternoon after a meeting and he was asking me how I deal with the kind of attention I garner from men. I wasn’t complaining at all, he was just assuming. He point blank asked, in a jovial way, “How young were you when you realized that all men are pigs?”

    I stopped him right there and said, “I do not believe that all men are ‘pigs’! I think that men are wonderfully simple. As far as the attention… I learned from a young age to play the cards I was dealt and also that I was dealt them at no fault or effort of my own… but how I play them is my opportunity in life, just like everyone else. You take it ALL with a grain of salt.”

  534. flyR says:

    CJ not to pile on but rather to offer some additional thoughts

    photos come across hard and flashy – not sure where you are in TX but outside of Austin it’s more than a little much

    overworked and underpaid = whinny

    you need some softer, classier photos. We have established that you have large breasts, you run , I would not put white men in all caps. Something a little classier like I prefer an accomplished, intelligent white gentleman of means…….

    About you is where you get to tell the potential SD the benefits TO HIM of picking you.

    What you want is where you get to help the potentials self select and continue to “sell” the benefit of picking you. If your grad degree is in science , econ, similar I would mention that.

    The photos are designed to do a couple of things – let the sd know what you will look like NAKED in his bed by presenting the vision in a pg format and to let him imagine walking into a room with you on his arm.

  535. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh Sorry You’re right. I’ll let people decide on their own whether to ignore you or not.

  536. Amber B. says:

    Wow, Yes, CJ listen to them ! They are very helpful

  537. Amber B. says:

    One day, i will have something to contribute

  538. LFdM says:

    Here’s that post with the potentially banned word removed:

    Am I a grammar ****? I reject all of the profiles out of hand that have terrible grammar. Is it too much to ask that a potential SB at least takes the time to proofread their profile? It’s kind of like a resume; I reject any resumes that I get on my desk at work with grammar errors. It’s one way to thin the herd out with very little effort. Or is this something that really doesn’t apply to the younger set in the new media age and I should just accept that that’s how they are? I’ve finally learned to accept the atrocious handwriting of all my younger employees. They just don’t teach handwriting like they used to.

  539. IHF2030 says:

    As I recall, a poster a while back made a quip about there being no affirmative action sugar. I’m sure that CJnTexas would have found that to be amusing.

  540. Josh says:

    You don’t need to try to discredit my posts. Just say your thing and let the others make their own judgment calls?

  541. Jaybird923 says:

    @LFdm Ignore Josh LoL Sometimes if you include a web address or email address it’ll flag it.

  542. Josh says:


    Whenever you run into such problems add “pussy must be worshipped” somewhere in the text. Your post will go thru.

  543. LFdM says:

    Do some posts have to be vetted first? I made a mildly long post that didn’t go up. Tried to repost, but it said that I had already posted it. What might cause a post to go missing? A forbidden word?

  544. Josh says:

    The first thing an SB needs to assess before or right after joining SA is that if she respects men as a gender. If she doesn’t then no amout of lipstick will work on the piggy.

  545. Jaybird923 says:

    @IHF Looks like she followed your advice from the other day LOL

  546. IHF2030 says:

    I have a feeling that CJnTexas is gonna be plenty entertaining. I think I’ll kick back with a pint of Guinness and some cashews and enjoy the show.

  547. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cucumber sorry not ignoring you. I’m going to let every one discover the reason on their own. If I point it out I’ll be accused of being a big fat meanie

  548. MissLady says:

    ok CJ, since they won’t, I will…and take this with thick skin…

    -your profile comes across as hostile
    -redo your photos, they look touched up in the face and some have bad lighting (you’re a pretty lady)
    -you don’t say what else you can offer or bring to the table
    -your job description screams entitled or needy
    -again, your profile is hostile, tone down the dissatisfaction a little

  549. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh yes Jay does lol

  550. Josh says:

    @Jay knows EXACTLY why. LOL!

  551. CucumberOnLids says:

    @Jaybird -Why are you laughing at her?

  552. Jaybird923 says:

    @CjnTexas LMAO you don’t know why?

  553. CJnTexas says:

    I would post a story unfortunately I can’t because I have not had any SD interested in me :0(

  554. Jj says:

    Promise, but you have a new-baby perspective to offer insight to the hesitant and stimulate conversation… go for it!!!

  555. Ms. Temptation says:

    Hello bloggers
    I thank you all for your advice.
    I messaged pot SD to cancel coffee date in a respectful manner and wished him well.
    I am not looking for attention only advice while trying to lookcat the issue from all angles. I am very methodical in my thinking sometimes a curse.
    I will take a break from the blog and direct some of my other questions to those kind souls whom have allowed me to email them.
    I get your sense of humour very funny.lol

  556. LFdM says:

    Wow, wondered where everyone went.

  557. Promise says:

    @Jj No way.

  558. Anon says:

    A new SD requesting advice before first meet with pot SB. Where the F are FunDude and FatB when they are really needed ??

  559. ishitia says:

    I neeeeeed helllllp woth this SOS

  560. hototrot1 says:

    I have tried to swallow. I have seriously tried…Gag But, my guys don’t hate me for spittin’ though. I guess it’s ok.

  561. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    I would suspect that it is a lost art.
    Though I have had a few guys who are willing to teach me. LOL

  562. hototrot1 says:

    Titty tickling and licking is the REAL lost art! Forgive me, I’ve had a splash of wine.

  563. Jaybird923 says:

    @Diamond Thank you for answering my questions.

  564. hototrot1 says:

    Swallow? Ew

  565. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL LMAO I was thinking more along the lines of “The art flirting and witty banter engaging your SD outside the bedroom” but the SDs might appreciate your tutorial better than mines 🙂

  566. THEATLSD says:

    “can we submit instructional/educational post also?”
    Like how to swallow? It’s a lost art form!’

  567. DiamondSA says:

    Hello All!

    Sharing your blog submissions with friends is absolutely NOT a requirement. We simply ask you to share the word about our SA guest blog to keep conversations fresh and draw more contributors.

    @Jaybird923 – We are certainly looking for variety! If how-to’s are more your route, you’re more than welcome to send that sort of content our way. If you have an engaging personal story or narrative, we are certain members will love reading those too!

    Great questions! Thank you.

  568. Jaybird923 says:

    @Diamond Are the only submissions you’re looking for of personal stories or can we submit instructional/educational post also?

  569. Jaybird923 says:

    @Jj Sometimes ask doesn’t mean you have a choice. Have you ever gotten one of those timeshare calls “Free vacation to such and such resort all that we ask is that you sit through our eight hour presentation” I’m pretty sure if you say no the vacation is no longer free

  570. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    This looks to be very interesting. I wonder though how edited the blogs will be? Obviously something coherent would be the way to go but I hope they allow people to be realistic and share the good and the bad.

  571. Jj says:

    Thankx Jay… bad to the rafters!!!!

  572. Jj says:

    Jay… It says…”all that we “ask” is…” doesn’t appear mandatory to me!!!! And likely “share” on SA’s FB page anonymously…

  573. Jaybird923 says:

    @Jj You’re forgiven. My feelings were hurt that you excluded me. Now I feel much better 🙂

  574. Jj says:

    Damnit!!! I forgot to include @Jay… my bad?

  575. Jj says:

    Ditto that !!! ALT

    AND there is no “share feature required on the submission, again no pun, page!!! Just say’n!!!

  576. THEATLSD says:

    Im already writing one.
    Then I’ll share with my FB friends…NOT.
    Smart move SA then we can only complain about ourselves.

  577. Jj says:

    Jay… I say “all that we ‘ask'” just say’n!!!

  578. Jj says:

    Personally, I would love to read an submission, no pun, from each of the blog contributors to kickstart this new adventure!!
    Kenna, Struggles,SexyR, Promise, Online, ALT, Crypto, Josh, Flyer, Gentleman,
    Shoooorlett, Laney, Peach, LASD, KeKe, ……… just say’n!!!

  579. Jaybird923 says:

    “all that we ask contributing members are these two things 1)that you share the newly improved SeekingArrangement blog with your friends via social media and page shares”

    It sounds good but this part concerns me. Are you saying that it’s required in order to have your story published?

  580. Zeke77 says:

    Sounds like a good idea:)

  581. CucumberOnLids says:


  582. Anonymous says:

    sounds like a great idea:)

  583. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    This will make for an interesting twist, for sure!

  584. Jj says: