5 years ago
Guest Blog: Your Application Has Been Unsuccessful


Consider the position of an employer looking to hire new staff. This is basically what the process of meeting a potential Sugar Daddy is like. The reasons most Sugar Babies fail to achieve finding an arrangement is often not for the reasons they typically assume.

Here are the top 7 mistakes that can make your profile more of a miss than a hit.

Poor Communication Skills

Picture this: a Sugar Daddy sees your profile and thinks you might be the one he is looking for. He messages you, but to his dismay, receives only a short answer. A few generic and meaningless words if he is really lucky.

Not only does this reflect bad manners, it is also positioning you as a poor communicator. If you are serious about finding an arrangement that works to your benefit, then charm the potential Sugar Daddy. Members aren’t going to chase you based on merely asking for the benefits of an arrangement.

You Aren’t Serious About Sugar

Do you truly want to be a Sugar Baby? Or did you think it might just be fun to see what it’s like to reap the benefits of an arrangement? Be honest with yourself. Are you realistic about what it means to be a Sugar Baby? Displaying initiative during the discussion phase shows that you are serious and have mutual interests in mind.

More importantly, responding to questions honestly and consistently proves that you are sincere. Replying to messages once a week or less does not instill confidence in the man you hope will offer gifts — or an allowance. Try to keep in mind what the potential Sugar Daddy wants, and is willing to spend. A mutually beneficial arrangement will not work unless you  both want the same things.

Poor Profile Presentation

Avoid mentioning that you think you aren’t capturing the attention you feel you deserve due to your race/age/body shape etc.

First impression complaints set a nagging tone regardless of how beautiful you are. Also try to avoid “I” statements and leave out the part about how you want to be spoiled — it is on virtually every profile. This just makes you sound greedy and look even worse if you fail to mention what you are bringing to the table.

Show some personality. If you think you have a good sense of humor then demonstrate that quality in your profile. If you say you are intelligent, then make sure your profile flows and contains the element of intellect you are professing to have… and there better not be any typos or grammatical errors!

Asking the Wrong Questions

Get to know a Sugar Daddy. Interest is often lost in women who ask about allowances before the first date even takes place. This aspect of an arrangement takes time, so take things slow and don’t expecting too much upfront. Its also advisable to avoid asking about gifts on first meetings and generally behaving like a “Prima Donna.”

The first meeting is meant to be fun and light-hearted. If the introduction feels like tireless effort, most Sugar Daddies will walk away.

You Lied

Avoid sharing photos of you taken 10 plus years ago. This is something older Sugar Babies do quite often. There is no point in coming clean about it after meeting or after chatting. You have obviously lied, and the damage is done. The same applies to your age or any other details.

Be consistent and truthful about what you are sharing. Although we all embellish a little to make ourselves look closer to our idealized best, there are some embellishments that cross the line.

No Wow Factor

Looks will only get a Sugar Baby so far. Are you engaging the Sugar Daddy with conversation? Are you asking about his interests and sharing fun aspects of yourself? Are you responding often and not making him wait too long? Sugar Daddies will browse many women on SeekingArrangement and the Sugar Babies who are not engaging will likely be overlooked.

Don’t Be A Drama Queen

Often a Drama Queen can be detected via skimming a profile alone. Sometimes, this personality trait can be picked up on from direct messaging.

A friendly follow-up message asking how we are doing is fine. Constantly messaging when it is obvious that the Sugar Daddy is busy, or simply no longer interested is not cool. Constant complaining and bringing up problems will likely drive Sugar Daddies away.


What tips would you add for Sugar Babies attempting to connect with a Sugar Daddy on SeekingArrangement?

Leave a Reply

1,831 Responses to “Guest Blog: Your Application Has Been Unsuccessful”

  1. Diamond says:

    Why do some men start off by mentioning they want to spoil you and send you money right away and the next question is what’s your bank account information. Or they want to put you on payroll. I told a couple men, unless I’m filling out a direct deposit form for a verified company, I’m not giving out my bank account information

  2. SD says:

    Finally met a prospect SB yesterday after a while, apart from the sex I was kinda disappointed in the whole thing. She was no way nearly as stunning as the numerous pictures would suggest, was quite vacious and I find myself reflecting on the benefits of the SB thingy.

    Something about a lady not spending time with you because she is attracted to your personality and or to you physically. leaves you somewhat feeling empty.

    Plus if you’re going down the SB route…I want to date women I would never be able to get otherwise.

  3. Girlie1231 says:

    Good information. 🙂

  4. Gabrielle M1 says:

    Hi everyone,

    i’ve officially been on SA for a couple of months now and I can’t seem to meet the right type of SD. All the one i’ve met so far we’Re looking for a “play & pay”arrangement or a “play & gift” arrangement which is not what i’m looking for. In the end, i’m writting this post because I wanted to know if someone could take a look at my profil and give me a feedback thank you.

    Best regards 🙂 ,


  5. Isla80 says:

    These seem like good pointers. Personally, i don’t even know if I want to be a SB. I just joined to check it out. I’ve talked to a few guys and met 1. But i’m really not sure this is the thing for me. I’m pretty needy and assertive. I’m also not willing to change who i am for an “arrangement”.

    I don’t regret being here though. So far I’ve met one really cool guy.

  6. uboat509 says:

    “Are you realistic about what it means to be a Sugar Baby?”

    I have seen lately several POT SB asking “Substantial” in their expectations for an allowance. That is more than $10,000 per month, which basically represents more $36,000 per year of disposable income. Unless there has been a great influx of men making $500,000+ per year lately, I keep wondering, what is it going through these POT SBs minds these days? It seems to me that many are not been serious about it. One thing is what they want, but another is what they can actually get.

  7. alexisjj says:

    Hi 🙂 How is everyone doing? I am well…more or less lol
    I’m here looking for advice, and to hopefully find any SD that are compatible with me. Myself, I am not picky nor do I discriminate 🙂 I am simple an down to earth. I am seeking an allowance of $1000. monthly. All other needs such as dinners or lingerie etc., SD is responsible for.
    I am also seeking an a SD that is genuine. An is not into playing games…meaning sex, or sexual ‘favors’, in order to start our mutual agreement. I do believe we should meet, and communicate, and be honest about our needs. I just stated all of mine lol….except what I enjoy in the bedroom. But that’s for one on one.
    So I would luv some feedback, or even comments on my profile, and any real Daddies, drop me a line, ….I don’t bite…unless you want me too lol 🙂

    Hugs xxo
    J 🙂

  8. Sopheeah says:

    I love this site, I love the wonderful men that are so helpful and understanding. I live in Toronto, Ontario. I have had 2 long-term mutually beneficial relationships that were an amazing and helpful experience for both of us. What I find with this type of relationship is that both people have to be prepared to play a pretty important role in the others life. I love being a sugar baby, not because I am some uneducated and lazy woman, (which I most certainly am not) but I feel everyone has desires, fantasy’s and needs in life that seem so hard to get. I feel this has created amazing friendships, lovers, life lessons, and most importantly it gives companionship. I look at it like a “ride or die” partner. No matter what we have each others backs… I just love it. You are easily able to block any negative SD’S that try to contact you by simply not replying to any rude or dirty comments. I am definitely not opposing to some dirty jokes 😉 but I like getting to know a person first. I feel liking what you do creates a success in this, a friendship and a definite companion for any young girl or mature man to enjoy. Just a bit of my thoughts 🙂 Just re opened my pages. Hope everyone has a wonderful day! Hopefully my prince finds me 🙂

  9. Hermosa says:

    Hi! Im new the site, been on here leas than a week. My goal coming onto here was to meet a man that would be in my corner financially and emotionally.
    A little about me…
    Yes im a young woman no i am not a young working woman! Meaning not a stripper or a call girl prostitute or whatever else. Yes however i am a woman with needs, a woman with dreams, I have plenty of ambition to accomplish my goal however i lack resources.
    Enough about me now my concern with the site is yes im getting views but no reactions hardly. Since ive been here out of all my views ive only gotten a few msgs. I need a better reaction and i need to know how do i get that?

    • THEATLSD says:

      Start be deleting your profile and starting over. Your pics and narrative suck.
      Good lucj

    • Londonrun says:

      Try using English in your profile, for example ‘nd’ and ‘nvr’ are not words. A little attention to grammer would also be worthwhile. Once you’ve mastered that then try describing yourself and what you have to offer a potential SD.

    • Anonymous says:

      What have you got against strippers exactly?

  10. sb101 says:

    I find that the SD’s aren’t very forthcoming with their ages or photos. They don’t want to pay to play…
    They meet and want to go further, and cancel at the last minute and become MIA. Be honest! Nobody likes a liar

    • Bill says:

      There is a segment on both sides that are flakes. It is not always easy to weed them all out. Just write them off.

      There are also lies on both sides. The biggest lie a man will usually make is “I’m not married”. I’ve caught “women” who were TG men, women who were criminals, a gang member, about 100 pounds heavier than she said, and a few that were professional working girls with their own escort webpages.

      If you are looking for “pay to play” then how do you think a prospective SD would feel about that? Like he is an ATM and you are hired by the hour and that is how you will be treated. When I’ve run across women like that, I just tell them no thank you. There might be more optimum sites out there.

      If you are looking for a personal relationship with the qualifier that the SD has to have the ability and willingness to financially assist, then you will be happier as he will too. It is an important distinction. I don’t mind helping out and do, but if there is any hint that she is there just for money, then it ends right then and there.

      Not to say there isn’t a segment of men looking for pay to play, there is, but if that is what you are, then say so in your profile so they will find you and you won’t be wasting your time. But don’t come back and complain that your “SD” doesn’t make you feel appreciated.

  11. Missxteen says:

    Hi! Could someone give me some tips on what I should do about my profile and why I haven’t been successful: https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/efa408c9/view

  12. Opheliasays says:

    Hello! I really appreciate this post as well as the insight from the comments below. I have tweaked my profile some in the past couple of weeks (I took a long hiatus from SA to focus on school and volunteer work I was a part of) and was wondering if someone wouldn’t mind giving me some pointers on what I might need to improve on? I read every profile before messaging because I think it’s bad form to message someone if I have no interest in what they had to say on their profile so I don’t send one word or stock messages. Any tips will be greatly appreciated! 🙂

    • Bill says:

      Opheliasays… works in a library, must be a Hamlet fan. Does that mean you are a virgin? That is my guess for the meaning.

      Your profile is really much better than average. I would meet up with you if we were closer.

      Regarding your negative statements that you then contradict, my thoughts were, “what is she trying to say?”. That can be an effective approach for enticing someone to read more, but it can also be a turnoff for those scanning dozens of profiles and not wanting to think too hard until they narrow it down. It shows your sense of humor, backs up your bantering personality, and may act as a filter. Is there another way to show that without being confusing?

      Maybe a better way to say, “As a student, my primary focus is support with university costs” would be, “As a student, I can use help with university costs.” You elaborate on an emotional connection, and I interpret that is what you want most, with the practicality of the financial needs as the backstop, not the focus.

      Good luck!

      • Opheliasays says:

        Hello Bill, thank you so much for looking over my profile! Your suggestions and interpretations are very helpful. When I rewrote my profile I did have some concerns about my opener and whether or not POTs would take the time to read past it with the volume of messages you all receive daily. I will be rewriting that section based on your input and hopefully that will work out better! 🙂

        Ophelia <3

  13. Bill says:

    I have had a few mutually successful SB/SD relationships, and they can be wonderful for both sides.

    I think there is someone for everyone, but everyone has to be realistic.

    Here are some of the reasons I have rejected SBs.

    Lying is a big one. I always conduct a background check before I meet someone in person to make sure what she is telling me is correct. Common lies are about being single when married, about being younger, using a fake picture, about not having a criminal history, not living where she says she does, and sometimes even about being female. I may give a lying SB a chance to come clean, but only one of those did I follow through with meeting. Be totally honest, and if you want to protect your privacy, then be upfront about what is not correct and then open up when trust is established. I can deal with the truth, but when I make decisions based on lies, then I am not a happy camper. Likewise, a SB should keep an eye out for her SD lying too. If he says he is single, that is a red flag that requires further investigation. If he is lying to you about something as basic as that, what else is he lying about?

    Trust is number two. Being cautious before meeting, and always meeting in a public place are smart. But at the point one decides to go through with a relationship, then each much trust each other and neither must ever betray that trust. Many SDs are company executives, some are politicians, many of their wives are not very understanding. If you are sleeping with a guy, he should know your real name, where you work, and something about your friends and family. If you can’t trust him with that information and that he will never do anything to blow your cover, then maybe you ought not to be sleeping with him. Discretion is often very important, and the less information there is, the greater risk of an accident. Each party needs to work as a team to protect the privacy of each other. Once I have decided to pursue an arrangement, I have no secrets from my SB, there is freedom to discuss any subject. I have chosen her because of her ability to keep those secrets.

    Focusing on money and not the relationship can be a problem. If the SD thinks he is nothing more than an ATM for his SB, then guess how he is going to treat her. There are some where that is all they want, and that is all they will get. If I sense an SB is seeing me only as though it were a job, then that is the end right then and there. Engaging and being interested in each other is what is important, and if that chemistry isn’t there, then we need to find someone else.

    Drama was mentioned, and it is definitely an issue. Most SDs are looking for an SB to forget about his problems, not to hear about hers. If I hear about ex’s not paying for child support, or not being able to pay the rent or other problems of her own makign, that is the end of the conversation. An SD can be a great source of advice for how to solve one’s problems, but to expect him to carry the burden is a bit much.

    Naivety has come up. Some potential SBs don’t quite understand that a man they meet once is not going to give her money for her and her friends to spend two weeks in Europe.. without him. Some believe a SD will give her money for being pretty, or for not even meeting once in a while. It may happen, but that is not the norm. Expect the arrangement to be just like having a boyfriend with a different set of social rules, where marital status, discretion, and finance are the terms that vary. Once in a while I will find a profile that says, “No sex”. I will some times write and ask, “How is your search going?” I always get that no one ever contacts her and she can’t seem to get an arrangement going. If one puts that on her page, that just tells SDs not to waste their time.

    Unrealistic expecations can be a real barrier for some to climb. I’ve heard, up front, “I want $6,000 a month.” “Have you found a SD yet?” “No” “How long have you been looking?” “Eight months.” “How much have you gotten so far?” followed by a puzzled silence. Meanwhile, someone who is less concerned about the allowance amount and more focused on matching the person can find an SD within a week or two, be having a great time and get some of her expenses paid. Here is a critical piece of strategy in finding a SD: The SB doesn’t set the allowance, the SD does. The number is almost entirely due to what he can spare at the time (often limited to what his wife might catch on to). If you demand too much, he will simply find someone else who is just as good of a personal match, but less demanding. There are women on this site who do not want any allowance, but do want the benefits, freedom, and discretion that go with the open relationship. If enjoying the time together is first, and the allowance is icing on the cake (and cake always comes with icing), then you’ve got the right approach. You may not be satisfied with $1,000 a month and really want $5,000 or $6,000, but understand that the higher the number, the smaller the pool of SD candidates there are, and it drops fast. Usually only the wife gets high single thousands and up per month. In the meantime, think about whether you can be happy with less than ideal, or unhappy waiting for your ideal that never comes.

    • crypticanomaly says:

      LMAO that is all very true. The regular bloggers always chat on the most recent blog so if you are seeking chat you might want to go to there. The Swimsuit one at the moment.

    • Elaine says:


      Nice insightful post!

      Why don’t you post it again on the actual blog so more people can read it?

    • uboat509 says:

      Thank you for sharing your insights on this very well written comment. And so truthful. I have seen lately several SB ads who are asking a lot of expectation, but I keep seen them for months at a time.

    • Sadie Bella says:

      Ok, Mr. Bill. You have wonderful insight. If you are so inclined, I would greatly appreciate you looking at my profile and giving me pointers. What am I doing wrong?

    • Cheekydee says:

      Hey bill could I give you my profile to check and give me some pointers too? I am new to this but I need to know. I have had great conversations with a couple of POTs but they don’t follow through. So I would need you to tell me what you think ..

  14. Ms.Princess123 says:

    I am seeking an arrangement in the Los Angeles California area but can travel ?

  15. Smiley_Tae says:

    Hey everyone,
    I have unfortunately been having an unsuccessful “application”. Please help.

  16. Daisy says:

    Hi everyone,
    I made my SB profile earlier this week and Im just wondering if anyone has any tips on finding a successful arrangement and weeding out fake SDs. I’ve also been struggling with perfecting my profile. Thanks!

    • VA Gent says:

      Post on the most current blog “Baby in a Corner” so folks will actually see it. Also, put a link to your profile so we can give you feedback.

  17. sexylexii says:

    Hey Guys im new to the site and although my page gets about 10-15 views daily . I only get messages 3-4 times a week and that’s on a good week. im not sure what im doing wrong and or what else I may have to do to start getting messages … is there any advice on what I should tweak on my profile ?.. Pls Help

    • Bill says:

      Hi Lexii,

      You didn’t post your account, so it is hard to say. There is a sexylexii from Oakland who has been here about a year, and it is obvious why she isn’t getting messages. Is that you?

  18. 1OutDoorAdventurer says:

    The link to this should be included in every Sugar Daddy profile….. these mistakes are so repetitive in so many prospective SB profiles an interactions.

  19. Happy Cliffhanger says:

    I would add three comments about pictures that SB candidates post that, in my view, hurt their chances. First, if your face can be seen don’t use weird positions, expressions, pouting, or lips pursed as if for kissing. From an SD perspective, the value of a picture is to see a friendly, natural person. Secondly, please avoid the group shots. Unless you are a couple we are interested in you not your friends. There are even cases where I have been unable to tell from picture to picture which person is presenting herself. Remember that some of you look like your friends, hair styles, etc. change. Finally, it is appropriate to be concerned about putting an easily identifiable picture as your main profile picture. I do not. But many of you do carefully plan an obtain pictures more suggesting your face and showing how you stand and dress. At least some of your private pictures can and should show your face in an identifiable way.

    Best wishes and I hope to see you!

  20. Promise says:

    She looks a lot like a Japanese dancer that I adore.

  21. Mister Roberto says:

    Hello. Roberto here. I’ve been on the site for about three months. I didn’t renew this month — I am working with a few POTs, and will be traveling almost all month.

    Anyway, I had a meet scheduled for tomorrow. She lives an hour from me, and I was driving up that way, so we scheduled a lunch meet to see if we are compatible. We’ve been whatsapp-ing sporadically for a couple of weeks. I received this message tonight, just as I was meeting friends and was in no position to reply:

    “Not trying to be too upfront but I’ve met too make fakes and I’m looking for a real genuine guy seeking an arrangement … So I hate to ask but I require 500 on the first date – to wean out the fakes bc I want that one to have an arrangement with and not just be arm candy and you be a flake lol. Hope you’re okay with that. Plus I have a few past due bills :(”

    When I didn’t reply in three hours, I received this:
    “Setting my alarm now or not”

    I wrote back that I would be home soon. As I was typing my reply (Sorry, first meet is an investment in both of our time, we haven’t discussed logistics, expectations, or even know if we like each other…), I received this:
    “It’s a yes or no now”

    So I answered, “No.”

    Man, I think I like it here, but if I just wanted to get laid, I could do it more easily, more inexpensively, and with less hassle by just calling a hooker.

    Thanks for letting me vent.

    • IHF2030 says:

      Good for you! Never provide gifts or cash on first meeting.

      • Mister Roberto says:

        I have given two girls Mobil gas cards when they arrived at our initial meet — they were both schlepping a bit to accommodate me.

        One worked out, kinda, and the other and I decided to treasure the drink we had together, and went on our separate ways.

      • yougottabenz says:

        Welcome to the blog, Roberto. I think that gifts on a first date are appropriate and appreciated in some cases. The girl you encountered does not seem to be one of those cases. There are varying opinions here on blog about gifting on first dates. This page is running a bit slow due to the volume of comments, and most have moved over to the newest blog topic. You might get more input if you post there :).

    • Jaybird923 says:

      You Sir have encountered your first Tumblr/Instagram “sugar baby” She’s probably bad mouthing on one of those sites right now. You handled that well. If you choose to give someone a small gift that’s your prerogative but it shouldn’t be a requirement for a first meet.

      The same way it’s not acceptable for an SD to request to “try you out” before giving you an allowance is the same way it’s not acceptable to make these types of request.

      • Mister Roberto says:

        Thanks. I must be important if I am being dissed on Tumblr!

        Here’s the response I drafted while I was getting my ultimatum. I’ve been following along here; clearly, I didn’t think of all this myself. I couldn’t not send it, even though it was useless:
        “I’m confused, Xxxxxx. A first meet (to me) is lunch or coffee or something – in public, for not that long a time – to see if there is any chemistry and if we both want to go further in whatever we arrange for a relationship. All we’ve done is chat via text. We have no idea of one another’s expectations, or even if we like each other. Not to mention the logistics involved with us living an hour apart. This first meet is an investment by both of us to see if we want to move forward. We meet, see how we feel about the whole thing, and then figure out what works for both of us, money- and time-wise. I have had girls drive a ways to meet me the first time, and of course I wound up giving them some cash to cover their gas. One was a girl I wound up seeing again, and one didn’t pan out. This time, I’m coming to your doorstep.

        If you’re asking me to commit to giving you $500 without any of those things happening first, then I have to decline. Trust me, I’m not looking for arm candy, especially at a diner on a Thursday afternoon lol.

        I’m not sure what your definition of flake is – I’m not trying to scam you into bed for ‘test-run,’ nor am I looking to string you along – I certainly wouldn’t have planned a stop on a trip two weeks in advance if that was the case. I’m genuine about this – I like pretty women in your age group, and I understand that I have to bring something to the table as well.

        I hope I misunderstood your message earlier. Let me know.”

      • Jaybird923 says:

        SO if she would’ve wrote back saying she was okay doing it your way, you would’ve continued to pursue her? Even after she showed her true colors? If I’ve misinterpreted your message please correct me.

      • yougottabenz says:

        Hadnt refreshed the page before my last post. I agree with Jay.

        Your response to her is well stated, but I wouldnt even bother sending it her.

      • Mister Roberto says:

        @Jaybird — Would I see her if she ‘backtracked’?

        I was thinking that while I was typing. The answer is yes, I still would have stopped and bought her lunch. No, I wouldn’t have progressed with her, but I was driving that way anyhow, you have to eat, and every encounter I’ve had here in the sugar bowl has been, er, noteworthy.

        PS – I re-posted on the new thread, per benz’ suggestion. I hope I don’t get in trouble for cross-posting.

  22. cryptic anomaly says:

    “I am a woman and therefore will be treated like a woman, nothing less and you will be happy just to be in my presence.”

    Yeah, somehow I don’t think I would be happy to be in her presence.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      That was from a profile.

    • Sunshine says:

      When I read that I hope that she is just a person who has no idea how she’s coming across. Someone who wants to emphasise their femininity and that they will try their hardest to be exactly what the SD needs so be will be happy in her company.

      That said given the level of attitude I’m guessing no that she thinks that she’s amazing and guys should genuinely worship her lol.

  23. flyR says:

    Missed opportunities

    A woman walks into an upscale store and walks over to some shoes on display

    A man walks into an upscale car dealer and wanders over to an upscale 2 seater

    A husband and wife walk into an upscale home for sale

    In all three cases the person responsible for making the sale does
    a) walks up and asks how much they are willing to pay


    b) engages in a conversation to identify what’s of value to the pot, qualify the buyer and focus on establishing value in the buyer’s mind before negotiating

    Sadly when it comes to sugar the process is too often reversed to the detriment of both.

    That doesn’t mean you can’t qualify that the financial goals are close enough to make a discussion worthwhile but for both there’s the opportunity to learn more

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      I find it frustrating when a SB asks me within a few messages how much her allowance will be. It’s just not that simple, for a start they often haven’t told me what they are willing to provide time wise etc but also I haven’t met them, I have no idea if we will get a long or not.

      So to expand on the house buying analogy above, I don’t know what I will pay for it because I still haven’t seen it in person and the brochure lacks information. The vendor is expecting me to bid blind.

  24. Josh says:

    Alright folks. I am heading over to the TG page. Have fun reading long-ass comments on this page.

  25. THEATLSD says:

    I have a very nice tent. 2 rooms in it!! 😉

  26. Anonymous says:

    My pictures are real now maybe I did not say very much buteverything I wrote down is true,would you like to see me via web cam

  27. yougottabekiddingme says:

    The moral of the story is quite simple, folks.

    When life gives you lemons…
    …make lemonade.

    When SugarDaddy gives you lemons…
    …squeeze the juice in his eyes, and kick him in the gdf shins. 😀

    But I do like lemonade. Two notches more tart than sweet. Uh huh.

  28. Jaybird923 says:

    Funny exchange between POTs. They’re calling him a salt daddy but I don’t agree. He shouldn’t be on there :-))


    • zito says:

      that is a man who took a lemon and made lemonade

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Salt Daddy = A man who doesn’t tolerate a SB’s shit. As someone who appreciates privacy it’s SB’s like that who post things online that make me even more cautious and cynical.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        He’s not one and he shouldn’t be on there for that but if you read through some of the others like this:


        or this:


      • zito says:

        These messages from an sd never cease to amaze me, who starts off a conversation like….im looking for a personal dick sucker?…..really man?

      • Shame says:

        weird, very weird indeed. Unless they are intentionally making fun of those women.

      • rembodler says:

        I think, part of the problem with SBs, is that they do not realize that men with smarts and $$$ can be very… unpleasant if they are cornered.
        A cornered SD can make a life of an SB – who cares what her parents, boyfriend, people at work etc. think about her, very very difficult. A good private investigator is about “moderate” on the SA scale – and s/he can tear her life apart in the matter of days.
        Such is life.

    • maggie1234 says:

      “Personal dick sucker” I can’t stop laughing

    • Elaine says:

      Don’t see anything “salt” in this guy, in fact I find him very funny.

      But this shows the danger of this sort of pages about “salt”, both male and female.
      Who is deciding what is salt and what is sweet, apart from the very obvious insults or “rate” proposals”?

  29. Josh says:

    Those who fall for non-P4P learn very quickly that money is advance was a “gift” which was graciously accepted, and your SB is nowhere to be found.

    Propose all those non-escort SBs to get their allowance at the END and not at the BEGINNING of the week/month, and they will promptly bolt.


    • Anonymous says:

      Common Josh…why are you feeding this mentality? A good man (SD) will inquire and desire to know how he can be a benefactor in a woman’s life and follow through. The same way the woman will follow through as well and if schedules conflict for what ever reason, a good woman (SB) will always keep her word. Good ones do not bolt and go MIA. Really good ones are upfront and share their lives and thoughts even when they are apart. Not just to text to confirm a date or time of arrival. But hey, whatever floats ya’lls boat.

    • Josh says:

      I don’t live in Disney World.

    • Shame says:

      Met a young lady that wants to go into the sugar world in search of her dream man.As I gather she is looking for a 30 – 35 year old, weak (does whatever she wants)man that will “Just” buy her a $1m house; “That’s all”. In return she will, “take off his jacket when he comes back from work”, cook (she is a terrible cook) and sexual duties.

      But then she is not very attractive, 142 cms tall, bad dresser, no social pull or sexual charisma and extremely self-centered. Profile: only daughter daddy’s girls with 3 brothers treating her like an entitled princess up-to the age of 25 so now she is looking for a husband to take over that role.


      • Jaybird923 says:

        The sad thing is she’ll most likely find a man to take over that role. There’s always a new batch of the weak and stupid lining up for the opportunity to be miserable.

      • Anonymous says:

        I know….just look at all the married people who are happy. Happy they are not alone or the ones who are happy bc they figured it out happily while everyone else stills complains.

    • flyR says:

      I’m with Zito on the SD paying for stuff so that the allowance (in whatever form it exists) is net to the SB. I have given my last two SB’s a debit card in my name. It works great for a number of things
      She offers to get dinner on the way over because I
      am running late, buy tickets for an event.

      Covering an emergency

      Buying something for me I’ll get a text with pix
      I think this shirt would look great on you…….

      Making bail

      I am delayed a day or two and will miss a weekly meet and she
      was depending on the proceeds for something ( living this
      close to the line should be a yellow flag)

      Most of those who are always expounding on women’s ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory are really sowing the seeds of failure in the relationship.

      It’s a debit card so there is only a finite amount of damage which can occur. There are those who believe if you give any woman a chance to take advantage of you she will do it.

      A more reasoned view is that there are a lot of risks in life. If someone is going to abscond with $2,000 I’m better off knowing it with a finite loss that learning it from a much worse situation.

      I think the SD’s who live in fear of all the bad things that could happen in sugar miss a lot of the good. They also send the messages this is a financial transaction, you are not trusted, I know you are going to do something bad … and bad things always happen to me.

      The eternal question of sugar before pleasure or pleasure before sugar is easily disposed of by making the two happen concurrently .

  30. Anonymous says:

    When she starts seeking other Dicks because your seeking other Bitches, don’t whine about it. Embrace it, but don’t sit and insult someone and call them names just bc someone chose to cut them off and be an asshole for no reason. We all like variety and strange and we all deserve to get laid often and should be done with style. Again people, this is not match.com. You pay extra for that here.

  31. yougottabekiddingme says:

    Sign me up, Daddy! 😮

  32. Josh says:

    People people. Use some common sense and post shorter comments. This fucking page is already too slow.

    • Smart_Fun_Guy says:

      Josh. Did you just ask FunDude use common sense?

      Shame on you.

    • FunDude says:

      This page is slow because there are no new articles outside of the transgendered one. Unfortunately, no one wants to post on that one out of protest lol.

      We need a new article.

      Write one Josh.

    • Well then maybe people should consider posting on the trans thread, instead of avoiding it like the plague.

      TAG…YOU’RE GAY. Betcha cant catch me!!!

      [Grown adults giggling like children]


      Y’all got issues.

  33. ILikeOlives? says:

    “It shouldn’t matter how many times you can see the SB one thing shouldn’t be contingent on the other.”

    @Jaybird I would be surprised if most SDs AND SBs didn’t strongly disagree with the above statement. Certainly if a SB has a budget expectation of a certain level, they would also have an expectation for how often they would plan to meet the SD. Conversely, the SD also has an expectation of how often he would expect to spend time with the SB in exchange for his generosity. Certainly as a SB you would have totally different allowance expectations for someone you met once a month versus someone you were meeting three or four times a week?

    I also don’t know that I understand your point about an allowance per meeting versus on a weekly or monthly basis. You wrote,

    “Let’s say after a month or two you switch over to monthly, what reason does she have to believe she’ll receive her allowance? What reason do you have to believe that if you give her the allowance in a lump sum that she’ll be consistent and show up?”

    It seems that you are making my argument for me. If after a couple of months, neither one of you has faith that the other will follow through on their promises, then I don’t see how a monthly allowance makes any sense. For me, two people build trust together based on their experiences with one another. I am sure that all of us have been “burned” on both sides of the sugar bowl, and this has changed how we interact with the other side.

    My point is that I think it is unrealistic for two people to immediately meet and fully trust one another after a couple of interactions, regardless of the experience. That is why, from my own perspective, it makes a lot more sense to have sugar evolve from PPM to weekly to monthly allowance.

    • ILikeOlives? says:

      Fudge. My apologies, I should have posted this in the thread below. Too lazy to re-post this again, so you people are just going to have to do some work and figure out the context. 😀

    • zito says:

      “My point is that I think it is unrealistic for two people to immediately meet and fully trust one another after a couple of interactions, regardless of the experience. That is why, from my own perspective, it makes a lot more sense to have sugar evolve from PPM to weekly to monthly allowance”……….EXACTLY

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      @Olives – The frequency issue is one that hits every Sugar arrangement…that’s why I always say “at least once a week” if I’m driving the arrangement negotiation (yes there are times the SB is driving the arrangement negotiation, because she has a specific amount she wants and I’m building the “play” to make it mutual in my eyes…if I’m proposing what I want from the arrangement, I’m driving the negotiation and she’s the one building what she’s willing to contribute to the arrangement to feel mutual)

      That’s where the trust is built from my perspective…if the arrangement is “at least once a week” then I should be able to look back at my calendar and see at least one meeting, on average, each week…if the arrangement is for a weekly allowance, she shouldn’t have to wonder when she’s going to receive that allowance!

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Olive maybe it’s the way I phrased things.

      “It shouldn’t matter how many times you can see the SB one thing shouldn’t be contingent on the other.”

      What I mean by that is that if you’ve agreed to a set allowance, and you can’t meet your SB one week she should still get the allowance and if you see her Twice one week you shouldn’t have to pay extra.

      “If after a couple of months, neither one of you has faith that the other will follow through on their promises, then I don’t see how a monthly allowance makes any sense.”

      My point exactly. with a weekly allowance if she doesn’t show up then you know there’s point in investing more time and resources. She’s a flake. And if an SD “forgets” to go to the bank this week then you know you can’t trust him to be reliable and keep his word.

      But with per meet you know she’s showing up for the money and you know he’ll have the money because he wants sex. How are you building trust with that type of arrangement?

      Like I always say whatever works for two individuals is what they should do. My objective is never to change peoples opinions or views but to offer a different perspective. So if you are content with what you’ve been doing then by all means continue to do so.

  34. LookingGlassSB says:

    Is it reasonable to ask the sugar baby to pay for the hotel? I can’t host but he can’t either so why should that be my problem. I asked him why I have to pay for it and he said “because it’s hard for me.”

    I’ve never had to pay for the hotel before and it makes the potential SD seem really stingy. Is this normal?

    • Smart_Fun_Guy says:

      Not normal. He’s the SD. But….if he’s saying that he doesn’t mind paying for it, but he can’t put it on his credit card without arousing suspicion, if that’s what me means ‘because it’s hard for me’, then that’s different.

      If he’s saying he can’t afford it, that’s bullshit. Then he’s a boyfriend and not a SD.

      Tell him that he can get an anonymous credit card at Walmart or any grocery store and load money into it (cash) and use that to buy things or reserve hotel rooms online.

    • zito says:

      I call bullshit on making an sb pay for anything….you can pay in cash or get a visa debit card at 7-11

      • LookingGlassSB says:

        you’re right. i’mm just going to look up a really shoddy hotel and see how he likes it. I mean if i’m paying for it, may as well go on the cheap side

      • zito says:

        so you are going to pay for it? why?

      • I dont see the problem if he is asking you to pay so that he avoids the paper trial, but plans to reimburse you.

        Id rather fuck in a tent than in a shoddy hotel. Ugh. You can use Priceline or a similar third party discounter, and get affordable, almost comparable prices.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @YGBKM has a point…consider the state park cabin option, tell him you’d rather buy a tent…

        If he’s adding the hotel to the allowance, that’s one thing (I’ve added to allowance before when a SB has bought toys, lingerie, etc because I don’t believe in her having to buy something)…it should be more than easy to have him get a pre-paid card to cover the cost, whether it’s being paid by you or him…but it’s ALL going to create a paper trail…I’d watch this one and be careful…fear of the paper trail CAN mean fear of the paper trail for the allowance as well!

      • LookingGlassSB says:


        No I didn’t. We’re not meeting. I suggested that he pay for the hotel in cash and he hasn’t responded.

      • LookingGlassSB says:

        @OnlineNewbieSD, I completely agree.

        One thing I hate is stinginess. Like wtf, you make half a mil, a mil. And I’m sorry but if you’re spending it on supporting half your family or throw most of it to charity, how am I supposed to understand that unless you tell me? Otherwise I’m going to assume you can afford a lot.

        Even if there’s an agreed upon allowance, throwing in a little gift here and there is always appreciated 🙂

      • zito says:

        you are better off, most likely he is broke and was gonna have sex with you and not give you any money….NEVER pay for anything with an sd, isnt that what this site is for? sd’s helping out sb’s with money?

    • gentleman soul says:

      Here are the important questions :
      1)how much is your allowance ?
      2)did he state up front that the hotel would come out of that ?

      I had a great arrangement where my SB would book and pay for the hotel. I gave her a budget and she booked the Hotel appropriate for the occasion .I recommended cheaper hotels so that she would take home a larger sum. But in the end she could impact her bottom line by being frugal. Married guys have to be aware of the paper trail and it is a great service for an SB to offer to do that . It is a value added perk for us and makes you much more important in the scheme of things .

      • zito says:

        I would never consider having an sb pay for the hotel, or have it come out of her allowance, the man pays….period. if i need to not have a paper trail, then the hotel amount is added to the allowance….thats just me

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      If he’s worried about hiding a hotel bill, he’s probably going to be worried about hiding the allowance as well…better RUN!

    • Reb. says:

      Girl… Are you serious right now? LOL.
      No, do not pay for the hotel.

    • Sunshine says:

      It’s not normal at all. It’s not even SD normal. If he’s saying things like “host” then run a mile, he’s looking for a quick fck and nothing longer term (unless you’re happy with that).

      If he met you, gave you the money and then asked you to book a hotel then that would be ok. That he’s asking you to pay for it is weird and does not sound like an SD at all.

    • THEATLSD says:

      My first SB would book the hotel but I paid cash for the room upon arrival. I made sure nothing was ever charged to the room. Worked great never had an issue.

    • twistedwords says:

      Ha! If he can’t afford a hotel, he can’t afford you. He’s not a sugar daddy, he’s a baller on a budget.

    • Kim says:

      I just paid for a hotel and never paid me, I was waiting for him in the lobby after I gave him the bill and he took the stairs and left from side door. Classless and tacky and he will get his. Of course, he is still on this site and will do it for others. No matter the advice people are given on this site, someone will get hurt and someone will use you or not live up to their word. Karma is a bitch and the men on this site that meet nice , honest women like me, should appreciate it. I would love to see how these “gentleman” run their businesses and clients. Treat all people with respect, it will come down hard, if you dont.

  35. FlyBoy says:


    I for one am glad we have strong women to stand up to men and their narcissistic bs, even if it means someone stands up to me, I love that shit…lol

    Man that’s so fucking beta! Hell, maybe even gamma! Either way it’s nauseating to both men and women!

    Cheers 🙂

  36. FunDude says:

    Guess the well of beta males marrying up >30 year old used goods women in drying up. Men are aware of the gig and are running from marriage! GOOD FOR THEM!

    Women are resorting to IVF and sperm donors. Good luck ladies, don’t expect the govt to bail you out though. The govt is BROKE!


  37. Moderator says:

    @FunDude, if you continue to repost a moderated comment, you will be blocked.

  38. ILikeOlives? says:


    I have gone through many a profile with comments similar to the one above. Does anyone find a statement like this in a SB’s profile to be super offensive? For me, whenever I read something like this in a girl’s profile, I almost immediately hit the “Back” button. I also feel that an SB is really getting things off on the wrong foot by being hostile to anyone reviewing her profile. Big mistake in my opinion, kind of like if a SD wrote, “NO ALLOWANCE UNTIL YOU TAKE YOUR TOP OFF. I AM NOT AN ATM!”

    • gentleman soul says:

      I like your riposte (; Yes, it is aggressive and denial based. What they are saying is they are prostituting themselves but don’t want to face it. In truth some SBs might get an SD who is willing to go along with the charade for awhile,paying an allowance for the pleasure of her chaste company . If sex does ensue at some point the SB could truly be deemed a non escort. OTOH if allowance does not begin until the PHTF(Panties Hit The Floor) then she is what she is.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      Not a completely accurate comparison though…if the SD said “NO PAY UNTIL AFTER PLAY” it would communicate the reciprocal hostility.

      It all goes back to the ongoing discussion about the profile catering to the type of SD you’d like…ignoring the assholes that will contact you no matter what your profile communicates…connecting with responsive and reciprocal communication…getting face-to-face…negotiating the MUTUAL BENEFIT for the arrangement to continue!

      • rembodler says:

        My concern with someone like that usually is that is follows on by something like “if something happens, it happens, but do not expect sex right away”. Even if she follows thru at some point, whatever SD used to subsidize non-intimate activity will double. If an SB just got paid for showing up, doing something/amything will cost him more. Probably a lot more.

      • zito says:

        I am also very fond of the….no sexual contact at all profiles….always gives me a chuckle

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        Agreed @rem – it’s about the negotiation stage though, I think…if you’re that belligerent in the profile, you’re probably not negotiating from a position of authority or power…when you’re more sophisticated and nuanced in your language, you’re in a better position to negotiate a bit for the allowance start and play start…

    • zito says:

      I agree, nothing makes me hit the back button faster

    • zito says:

      ilikeolives….i a going to add your no allowance statement to my profile….afterall, i am not currently looking for an sb, lets see what happens

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      I think the lesson for EVERY profile in SA is this:

      As you write your profile, consider being the other person reading it…would you be interested in the person you’re portraying? If so, go with it…If not, reconsider your language!

      In other words, if you, as a SB, would “next” a SD’s profile that said, “NO PAY UNTIL PLAY, I’M NOT AN ATM” why would you put the equivalent in your profile?

      • rembodler says:

        Well…u r not negotiating a contract, here, really. Contracts are designed to be enforceable when one of the parties does not follow thru and you take them to court. Here the deal is only good if both people play by the rules. The person who brakes the contract normally wins here, at least short term.
        In other words, the “SA contract” is only good with someone you really do not need one.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @rem – you’re right…I had a coffee meet with a pot about a year ago…when we sat down she said, “I actually kind of expected you to have some contract or something to sign”…I laughed and said something similar to your comment.

        The difference though…without negotiations SOMEONE will lose in the situation. If you’ve got common definitions to terms, expectations, exchanges, etc. you have a better chance of BOTH winning.

        It STILL all starts with the profile…if you’re writing your profile to ATTRACT, with POSITIVE language, DEFINING statements and understanding of the Sugar Bowl, you’re more apt to succeed in your search!

    • ILikeOlives? says:

      @ONSD Well said. It makes no sense to write something in your own profile that would offend you if you read it in another’s profile.

      @Zito Haha. (I read that LOL is passe now according to FaceBook). Let us know how that change in your profile works out. Kind of hard to prove a negative, but if your message traffic falls off, or if you start getting hate mail, now you will know why.

      I can’t help but notice, however, that the SBs on the blog are decidedly quiet on the topic. 😉

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Olives – I think that’s because they understand where we’re coming from…and probably DON’T see it in the SD’s profiles they look at.

        Although, I’m sure there are some (even I’ve had to seriously think about the commentary I provided) upset at the obvious “help” that was just given to the fakers and scammers on the SB side by showing a GLARING way to avoid the quick “next” on her way to pillaging the SDs 😉

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I understand where you guys are coming from about that statement being in profiles.It’s as stupid as the SDs that have that disclaimer about people not having permission to use the info in their profile without their consent. But I do understand why they feel the need to put it there.

        With the world being what it is and SDs past personal experiences I can understand not wanting to hand a perfect stranger a lump sum of cash. So agreeing to give $500 a week instead of $2000 a month is perfectly fine. Where the problem exist is when you only want to give an SB $500 on the days you sleep with her.

        One version makes it an SD/SB arrangement and the other makes it a John/escort arrangement. It’s still the same amount of money but only one makes you feel like a whore. Which woman do you think you’ll have a better arrangement with?

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Jay – as (almost) always…well stated. It goes back to the discussion we had last week about the same thing…you’re right…there is a difference between a weekly allowance and a per meet allowance, even if the amounts are equal.

      • zito says:

        “Where the problem exist is when you only want to give an SB $500 on the days you sleep with her.”…Here is the problem with that, what if you only have time to see the sb once a week, and you know there will be an intimate encounter?….it is really about semantics, and how you actually treat the lady, if you have no idea how to treat a woman then it does not matter how the allowance is given, the same can be said about that if you actually treat her as a woman and respect her

      • Jaybird923 says:

        It shouldn’t matter how many times you can see the SB one thing shouldn’t be contingent on the other. That is the problem. If you can see her twice this week, once the next week, and not all the the third week that should have no bearing on the agreed upon allowance. You are a benefactor.

        If she only gets her “allowance” on the weeks you have time to sleep with her, then you are a client.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @zito – semantics are important to women…when you “negotiate” a monthly amount for allowance, agree that it will be paid on a weekly basis and only ever pay her in cash when you meet that week…she’s probably going to feel like a per meet arrangement…if she always gets the recharge code for the pre-paid card on Monday morning, even if you can’t coordinate your play day until Thursday of that week, she’s going to see it as a weekly allowance and not a per meet situation…

      • ILikeOlives? says:

        @Jaybird Excellent point, perception can be everything. In reality, though, there is no difference to either of the situations that you describe. If you apply a negative connotation to one, it should apply equally to the other.

        Personally, I don’t believe in the term “prostitution” as it is a term that was invented just to shame one or both parties. I don’t believe anyone on this site should ever be labelled as an “escort” or a “John”. If you do, then I think that person is missing the point of an arrangement.

        With regards to an allowance, and the whole idea of whether it is done on a per meeting, or a weekly or monthly balance, the whole issue comes down to trust. I think any SB would balk at a SD who proposed to meet once or twice a week and receive her allowance at the END of the month. So should it be surprising that a SD might be hesitant to do anything other than on a “per meet” basis at the beginning of their arrangement?

        Once the parties have established trust, I think you are dealing with a completely different scenario, and I would be surprised if any SD would still be looking to exchange an allowance on a per meet basis. (Although every arrangement is different. I know several guys that are strictly “per meet”, because the SBs are not consistent with their schedule, and they could meet her once a week or once a month, there is no predicting it until they meet.)

        Hmmmm … maybe SA should offer escrow accounts to SDs? Haha.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Online Exactly!! That little concession will make the biggest difference on how she feels about you and how she feels about herself. And it takes very little effort on your part.

      • zito says:

        I am not saying that I do this, and only pay when I see her that week, nor am I saying this is what I would want, personally I do the monthly allowance at the beginning of the month now, and we see each other 4-6 times a month, but I do wonder in the back of my mind if I should giving more, but I have no complaint, so I guess not.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Olives – hahaha…escrow sugar accounts…that would be an interesting endeavor…

        Oh, and I think it’s the perception that makes it…and the language can shape the perception. You’re right, if you’re already inclined to think that anyone that receives money and gives sex is a prostitute isn’t going to view a weekly or monthly allowance any different if intimacy happens (and it might be why some women regress to sabotage when intimacy happens and they no longer “want” the allowance because it made them feel “dirty”)…

        I almost always pose the arrangement situation like this, “for the first couple of months, we’ll operate on a weekly allowance of $XXX. We will meet AT LEAST ONCE per week on average. Neither of us should feel like we are wondering when we’ll get our next dose of sugar or have to think too long about when we got our last dose of sugar…if everything is wonderful after those first couple of months, we’ll talk about a raise and transitioning to a monthly allowance”

        Notice, no sex at every meet was stipulated, nothing about waiting until we have sex to get the next “dose of sugar”, just positive angle for things progressing through to a monthly commitment from both of us…

        My experience with it IRL has been better than on SA, which has been some of the disappointment…and funny that those I’ve had coffee with who say they had an IRL Sugar experience in the past are more receptive to the conversation than those who are completely new to the Sugar Bowl…

      • zito says:

        As Ilikeolives said, I remember a time when I was doing mostly per meet payments, and that basically occurred because you were dealing with unreliable sb’s who were not around long enough to build trust

      • Atlantabebe says:

        @Ilikeolives @onlinenuwbie @zito – It is funny this came up, because a man contacted me today and his profile said:

        “I haven’t been on here long but have noticed real quick that the expectations on here are a bit crazy. I’m not the wealthy man that has money to just throw around for no reason…I’m not super fancy or even eat at high end restaurants…I have no issues footing the bill on everything we do…but if you want an allowance for your time then you may want to skip over me….I’m a very giving person and love to shower someone special in my life with attention, surprises, and even gifts…but let me decide when all that happens…don’t make it an expectation.”

        His idea of a good time: going to the movies and share popcorn and coke, going bowling, putting puzzles together and playing board games. Even though he does not plan to give an allowance nor should there be an expectation of gifts, he put his budget at practical. He is 34, has an income of 75K and 2 kids.

        I am not saying he is a bad guy, but defiantly on the wrong website. It is the equivalent of a SB saying “no sexual contact”.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @zito – that’s why I chose the words I did…my weekly allowance amount is what I would be comfortable as a per meet amount, so if we meet once and she flakes, no harm done…if she continues a couple of weeks and flakes, no harm done…if she shows she’s interested about getting together and keeping things flowing, she’s going to get a boost to the weekly amount before the couple of months…and she’ll get to the monthly commitment quickly 😉

        I’m still experiencing some flakes, so I won’t do anything longer than a weekly commitment to start…

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Olive This is why I don’t think per meet is good for the start of an arrangement. When you do a weekly allowance in the beginning it give both parties a chance to build and establish trust. You get to see that she’s not flakey and won’t run off with your money. She get to see that you are reliable and consistent.

        When you do per meet she shows up because that’s pay day and give the funds because that’s sex day. Let’s say after a month or two you switch over to monthly, what reason does she have to believe she’ll receive her allowance? What reason do you have to believe that if you give her the allowance in a lump sum that she’ll be consistent and show up?

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @bebe – you’re EXACTLY right…there MAY be a niche for him for the younger co-ed who really wants a generous boyfriend type arrangement where she gets gifts that are easier to explain to her friends/family than the wad of cash in her purse (especially if he’s not doing designer gifts)…but…if he lists as “Practical” and doesn’t offer an allowance he shouldn’t be headed to the theater or bowling alley for dates, that level is at least $1k a month!

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Atlanta That’s the spongebob guy! Someone forwarded his profile to me

      • zito says:

        @atlanta…I am not sure I would say he was on the wrong website, there are sb’s out there who are looking only for what he is offering, and from what you wrote about him, he at least sounds upfront and honest about his position

      • zito says:

        I have no problem trying to trust an sb, and really havent been burned doing this, but from the profiles I read now a days, I would find it harder and harder to trust at least the 18-25 yr olds. I remember my first sb, I had never met her, andshe asked me to send her $100 cause she was in a dire strait, so against my better judgement, I did, and it worked out, at the end of the day I figured, if she runs with the $100, lesson learned, its only $100

      • Atlantabebe says:

        @Jaybird – Yes! I can’t believe a guy would put his tagline as Spongebob. The whole profile is mind blowing.

      • Elaine says:


        Couldn’t agree more!

        Same amount, different approach…

      • Atlantabebe says:

        @ zito – How is this different from the “no sexual contact at all profiles…(that) always gives me a chuckle…(and) nothing makes me hit the back button faster”?

        Like @OnlineNewbie said, there may be a niche for him, but it is the equivalent niche as the no sexual contact. It is like trying to get milk at the hardware store.

        Agreed that at least he is upfront about what he wants.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Atlanta I was actually excited about the Spongebob part. I love Spongebob lol Most people wouldn’t guess that about me :-)) But you’re right I wouldn’t put it in my profile

      • gentleman soul says:

        Jay, you operate from an ethical point of view regarding sugar arrangements and think of other(all) SBs doing the same . It is not so. In an ideal world where all Sugar parties can 100% trust each other to uphold their end of the bargain we could act accordingly. Since that is not happening in the real world, we have to protect ourselves. While I can blow off several hundred $ without missing any meals, I can not stand it when an SB flakes and runs with my hard earned Money .Hence pay to play -at least for a while .

      • Sunshine says:

        Exactly it’s the same thing as the woman who says she’s not a prostitute or that she’ll be intimate on her own time but in the meantime cough up an allowance.
        While it’s lovely that they’re open about it there are many who are not and ignore your suggested budget and then get all cranky when you say you’re looking for that. Why message me when it’s clear that I’m looking for an allowance in x range? (because they don’t read my profile).

        It’s irritating to read profiles that are all about the various kinks they have and then they’re like oh I’ll feed you but I don’t do allowances, what are you like 12? Often talk up mentoring especially related to film or fashion (neither of which interest me) which I imagine gets them a few beautiful but gullible women who think that they’ll kick start their career (and of course their promises rarely materialise)

        Weekly allowance is a nice way of putting it. I don’t mind pay per meet provided that they are genuine about looking for something longer term. It’s fairly easy to judge that by how interested they are in actually getting to know you and remember the things you’re doing or like to do. E.g. “Oh how did that special event you mentioned on Wednesday pan out?” That said I would prefer it upfront but if it’s obvious a guy is quite well off then I don’t make a big deal of it. I go for mutual chemistry and a nice personality so if he decides to be rude and run then I’ve had a lovely time, didn’t do anything I wasn’t inclined to do anyways, and he can enjoy his karma ;).

      • Sunshine says:

        Oh I should note that it can start that way, move to weekly and then monthly. If it’s still dragging around at per meet after a month then I’m going to be questioning whether he really is looking for something longer term.

    • Smart_Fun_Guy says:

      I don’t have a problem with them saying that.

    • Sunshine says:

      I can understand the “I am not a prostitute” part and why it gets put up there. You SDs have no idea the kinds of messages us SBs tend to get even when we have profiles that keep it classy.

      It’s irritating (especially here where such things are legal) to log on each day and see a raft of $200 per meet with sex or guys who say they’ll offer you an extra 100 if you do some sex act they want.

      Or guys who offer $500 for you to come to their hotel room because they’re from interstate and bored and when you refuse and say that’s not your thing they ignore you and just keep upping the offer thinking that it’s something they can just buy.

      After a while it’s really f*cking irritating to see that shit, to compose a thanks but no thanks response even though they’ve clearly not read your profile that states that you’re looking for something longer term.

      Yes saying it will win you no favours and you have to resist the urge to post stuff like that but sometimes it’s really tempting to tell those kind of people to rack off in your profile.

      Just because you have money to spend doesn’t mean you can be disrespectful. As far as I’m aware the premise of SA seems to be that it is a “dating” site not a “service” site. Even if it was a service site basic manners are not out of place. You don’t go to a spa and say “HEY $500 MASSAGE NOW!” you don’t go to a car dealer and say “FIX MY CAR”. No you say Hi, How are you? and so on. I don’t understand the logic where people think it’s ok if someone is providing a sexual service that you can treat them in a manner that you would not treat other service related people. Shows their true colours.

      • zito says:

        “I don’t understand the logic where people think it’s ok if someone is providing a sexual service that you can treat them in a manner that you would not treat other service related people. Shows their true colours.”

        @sunshine, you are right about showing true colours, I would bet that these men treat ALL people like they are disposable, I have heard some stories about what an sb gets offered, and I usually respond with…really?…wtf

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @sunshine – you’re right…but you have an option from that first “let’s fuck for $200” message…you can block that profile…you have another option…you can report that profile…you have another option…you can ignore the message and just delete it…I’ve done all three of those when I get a message from someone that is obviously breaking the “rules” as I see them…mostly blocking, a few reporting, even more just deleted…

      • Sunshine says:

        Yes you can block and delete and often they don’t persist in messaging you the thing is there’s always a new SD who wants to try that trick so you spend a fair amount of time blocking, deleting and reporting and you can’t erase that message from your mind so after about 3 of those in one day if you’re not having a fantastic day you’re about ready to quite rude.

      • ILikeOlives? says:

        “You SDs have no idea the kinds of messages us SBs tend to get even when we have profiles that keep it classy.”

        @Sunshine I must admit that there were three things that really shocked me with regards to the interactions between SDs and SBs that I only learned after talking with several girls in person:

        1) As you mention, SBs get an inordinate amount of completely inappropriate messages. The way you phrase it as $x per meet from these guys is probably exceedingly polite, if all that I have heard is remotely true.

        2) The request for sexy photos is off the chart. I don’t understand this at all. Half of the Internet is free porn, so why you would need to exhibit some sort of bizarre power trip over a SB to see racy photos is beyond me.

        3) Half of the SDs have no photos. This one had me floored, because I generally have a “no covering the keyhole policy” when it comes to interacting with SBs. So much of chemistry is our physical attraction to the other individual, so it makes little sense, in my opinion, to spend the time to try and get to know someone, only to look at their photos and have no interest. I have yet to hear a really good excuse for why a SD doesn’t share their photos.

        Now saying all that, the “I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE” in capital letters in the middle of a profile still makes absolutely no sense to me. I think it is right up there your example of walking into the car dealer and yelling “FIX MY CAR”. Or as my favorite comedian would say, kicking open the door to a singles bar and saying “JEWISH AND MY ZIP CODE!” 😀

  39. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Hey – I see the search results now list minutes and hours since last active…maybe SA is listening to posts on blog?!

    • Jaybird923 says:

      I noticed that also and thought of you :-))

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        It’s a double-edged sword…one side makes it more transparent for actual activity…the other side, it’s obvious how many are NOT active beyond registering on the site!

    • ILikeOlives? says:

      Now if they will only stop pushing “Online” to the top of the results, and instead truly sort them by when the profile was last active, it would be a win for everyone!

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Olives – I commented a bit earlier…my search TODAY actually listed some as “17 minutes ago” and “12 hours ago”…I think THAT has been fixed! Check again and let me know if you’re NOT getting those kind of results, it would be interesting to see if that was because of a “Standard” or “Premium” or “Diamond” status…

      • ILikeOlives? says:

        @ONSD You are right, but I can see why I was confused. If a profile is online, then that is what is listed, not the last time they were active, so you actually have to click the profile in order to see the “Active” part. But if they are offline, then it lists the time of last activity.

        What confused me is that in the initial results, almost all of them listed “Online” instead of a specific time since their last activity. I guess that makes sense, as someone who was recently active is most likely to still be online. But it can make the search results confusing as well, since you will see two or three “Online” profiles, and then one that was active 24 minutes ago, and then several more “Online” results.

        Still, huge improvement, so kudos to the folks at SA if this has been taken care of.

  40. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Gotta love a new profile:

    What I’m looking for
    I want to always be in a public place, and im NOT willing to do anything sexual. Not willing to drive more than 25 miles. I am located in XXXXX. I also am not willing to travel with you. I just want small day dates. I am also available for skype calls, text messages, etc… Safety is my #1 priority

    At least her expectation is “Negotiable” rather than “High”…but…really?

    • Jiah L says:

      So she’s offering her amazing listening skills…and that’s all? So, she wants someone to take her to lunch, pay for her lunch and give her money to listen to them talk? Just want to make sure I understand what she offers in a relationship…I understand that safety is a priority but a quick google search and meeting in public will tell you if that person is who they say they are or if they are a murderous raging lunatic.

  41. Josh says:

    Really @FunDude? You know that this page is already slow and you had to post that shit here instead of providing the link?

    • FunDude says:

      Had to do it. Its irrefutable evidence of the decline of the Western world due to feminism.

      Great economic argument from a top Austrian economist. It was summarized by some red pill dude. I gave the link as well, which starts at page 21.

      Its too complex for most people, so the cliffs from the red pill dude helped.

      Now back to work! I enjoy posting this during my break.

  42. FunDude says:

    Link from internet starts at page 21: {{https://mises.org/library/short-history-man-progress-and-decline}}

    very good economic argument away from the modern female behavior and the inevitable collapse of the Western world as a result of “feminism”

  43. FunDude says:

    Linked from Red pill to explain the AF/BB female imperative and how it destroys civilization. The “patriarchal” model was due to economic need. Basically beta men won’t work for a civilization of this model and it quickly falls to rival societies that practice the strong monogamous model with STRONG punishment for female infidelity.

    {{{{TL;DR: Austrian economist and libertarian theorist Hans H. Hoppe drops RP knowledge in an economic explanation of evolution, including the economic incentives for our ancestors to organize in families, to restrict sexuality (mostly female sexuality), as well as the AF-BB dynamics. Nothing new to anyone who read the sidebar, but really well explained in a nutshell.


    So I was reading an essay by Hans H. Hoppe titled “On the origin of man and the family”. An economic explanation of human evolution, from hunter-gatherer societies to agriculture.

    For those who do not know who Hoppe is: Hans Hoppe is a German professor of Austrian economics and libertarian theory, successor of Murray Rothbard’s political thought. He’s been highly criticized for some of his views, even by other libertarians (for holding that differences in human races do not just refer to appearances but also to cognitive capabilities; for stating that in a truly libertarian society its members would be totally free to associate with whomever they want, and that therefore such a society could legitimately decide to restrict immigration or to banish homosexuals; etc.). He’s also known for his economic analysis of democracy (i.e., that old-time monarchies protected property rights much better than current democracies, and that democracies only generate incentives for an ever increasing State).

    Anyways, I was reading this great essay that I recommend to anyone interested in economics and history, and I found lots of TRP knowledge really well explained when dealing with the origin of the family.

    … certainly in the age before the availability of effective means of contraception, free love has consequences, namely pregnancies and births, and that births involve benefits as well as costs. This does not matter as long as the benefits exceed the costs, i.e., as long as an additional member of society adds more to it as a producer of goods than it takes from it as a consumer—and this may well be the case for some time. But it follows from the law of returns that this situation cannot last forever, without limits. Inevitably, the point must arrive when the costs of additional offspring will exceed its benefits. Then, any further procreation must be stopped—moral restraint must be exercised—unless one wants to experience a progressive fall in average living standards. However, if children are considered everyone’s or no one’s children, because everyone entertains sexual relations with everyone else, then the incentive to refrain from procreation disappears or is at least significantly diminished. Instinctively, by virtue of man’s biological nature, each woman and each man is driven to spread and proliferate her or his genes into the next generation of the species. The more offspring one creates the better, because the more of one’s genes will survive. No doubt, this natural human instinct can be controlled by rational deliberation. But if no or little economic sacrifice must be made for simply following one’s animal instincts, because all children are maintained by society at large, then no or little incentive exists to employ reason in sexual matters, i.e., to exercise any moral restraint. From a purely economic point of view, then, the solution to the problem of overpopulation should be immediately apparent. The ownership of children or more correctly the trusteeship over children must be privatized. Rather than considering children as collectively owned by or entrusted to “society” or viewing childbirths as some uncontrolled and uncontrollable natural event and accordingly considering children as owned by or entrusted to no one (as mere favorable or unfavorable “environmental changes”), children must instead be regarded as entities which are privately produced and entrusted into private care.

    Now, it is in an extremely long footnote where the gold shows up:

    Rationally motivated as the institution of the family was, the transition from a regime of “free love” to one of family life did not come without costs, and the associated benefits and costs were different for men and women. Surely, from the male’s point of view it was advantageous to have every woman accessible for sexual gratification. In addition, this greatly improved his chances of reproductive success. By having children with as many women as possible the likelihood of his genes being passed on into future generations was increased. And this was accomplished seemingly without any cost to him if the responsibility of raising children to maturity could be externalized onto society at large. In contrast, if sexual access was restricted to just one woman (in the case of monogamy) or a few women (in the case of polygamy) his chances of sexual gratification and of reproductive success were diminished. Moreover, men now had to weigh and compare the pros (benefits) and cons (costs) of sex and procreation—something they previously did not have to do. On the other hand, also primitive men could not fail to notice, at least eventually, that even under a regime of free love the chances of sexual gratification and reproductive success were by no means equal. Some males—the stronger and more attractive alpha males—had much better chances than others. In fact, as every animal breeder knows, just one male is sufficient to keep all females constantly impregnated. Thus, free love effectively meant that very few males “had” most of the women, and especially most of the attractive and reproductively most appealing women, and fathered most of the offspring, while most of the males had the dubious obligation of helping to bring up other men’s children. Surely, even the dimmest recognition of this fact must have posed a permanent threat to any intratribal solidarity and especially to any inter-male solidarity that was called for, for instance, in the defense against rival tribes; and this threat must have grown ever more intense the farther the population exceeded its optimum size. In contrast, the institution of a monogamous family and to a somewhat lesser degree also of a polygamous family offered to each male a somewhat equal chance of reproductive success and thus created a much greater incentive for every male to engage and invest in cooperative behavior.

    We already know this. Top men have most of the women. So it seems that monogamy mostly benefits lower tier men.

    Matters are significantly different from the female point of view. After all, it is women who must bear the risk of pregnancy associated with sexual intercourse. It is they who are particularly vulnerable during pregnancy and following childbirth. Moreover, it is women who have a unique natural tie to children; for while there can be always some doubt as to paternity no doubt is possible as far as maternity is concerned. Every woman knows who her children are and who the children of other women are. In light of these natural facts the principal advantage of a regime of free love from a female point of view becomes apparent. Because of the greater risk and investment associated with sex for women, women tend to be more selective as far as their mating partner is concerned. Thus, in order to increase the likelihood of their own reproductive success, they exhibit a strong preference for mating partners who appear healthy, vigorous, attractive, bright, etc., i.e., in a word: for alpha males. And because males are less choosy in their selection of sex objects, under a system of free love even the least attractive females can realistically expect to be able to mate occasionally with some of the most attractive males and hence possibly pass their “superior” genes on to one’s own offspring. Obviously, this advantage disappears as soon as the institution of the family replaces a regime of free love. Each woman is now supposed to try her reproductive luck with just one or maybe a few sets of male genes, and in the great majority of cases these genes do not rank among the very best. What did women get out of marriage, then? Very little, it would seem, as long as the population was at or around its optimum size and the life of the hunter-gatherer tribe was characterized by comfort and plenty. This had to change, however, as soon as the population grew beyond this point. The more the population exceeded its optimum size the more intense grew the competition for the limited food supplies. Whatever inter-female solidarity existed before increasingly weakened now. Naturally, each woman was interested in assuring her own reproductive success and helping her own children reach maturity and thus came into conflict with every other woman and her children. Even killing another woman’s child in order to further the prospect of survival for one’s own children was increasingly considered an option in this situation. (Incidentally, the same sort of inter-female competition for reproductive success still prevails to some extent within the framework of polygamous relationships and explains some of the peculiar instabilities and tensions inherent in such relationships.) In this situation, each woman (and her kids) is in increasing need for personal protection. But who would be willing to provide such protection? Most children have the same father—from among the few alpha males endowed with more-than-equal chances of procreation—but they have different mothers. Accordingly, the protection of one woman and her children from another cannot be expected to come from the children’s father, because the father is very often the same one. Nor can it be expected to come from another male; for why should a male offer personal support and protection to a woman who entertained sexual relations with other men and whose children were fathered by other men, especially if this offspring threatened his own standard of living? A woman could only secure personal protection from a man if she forewent all of the advantages of free love and promised instead to grant her sexual favors exclusively to him and thus managed to assure him also that her children were always his as well.

    The preceding paragraph shows the dual AF-BB sexual female strategy, but also explains why women rationally accepted (in a world without contraception and with lots of dangers) this arrangement as opposed to free love. Men are able to protect (and provide for) women and their children, but will only be incentivized to do so if they have some guarantee that those are their children and not someone else’s, for the same reason why a person protects its private property with more care than public or common or someone else’s property.

    Distinctly male and female perspectives exist not only as far as the very establishment of the institution of the family is concerned but also regarding the importance of marital fidelity in maintaining its stability. The difference between male and female calculations in this regard has its reason in the natural fact that, at least until the very recent development of reliable genetic paternity tests, a child’s mother was always known in a way—with a degree of certainty—that was unavailable and unattainable for the child’s father. As folk wisdom has it: mother’s baby, father’s maybe. This fact, again quite “naturally,” had to lead to significantly different—asymmetric—expectations regarding appropriate (and inappropriate) male and female marital conduct. Of course, in order to assure the stability of the institution of Thus, in response to mounting population pressure a new mode of societal organization had come into existence, displacing the hunter-gatherer lifestyle that had been characteristic of most of human history. As Ludwig von Mises summarized the matter: the family any form of marital infidelity had to be socially disapproved; but disapproval had to be far more pronounced and the possible sanctions far more severe in the case of female infidelity than in the case of male infidelity. While this may appear “unfair,” it was in fact quite rational and in accordance with the “nature of things,” because female infidelity involved a far greater risk for betrayed husbands than male infidelity involved for betrayed wives. A wife’s infidelity can be the first step leading to a divorce from her husband just as a husband’s infidelity can be the first step leading to a divorce from his wife. In this regard, the situation is the same (symmetric) in both cases and the “sin” committed is equally grave. However, if and insofar as marital infidelity does not lead to divorce, the “sin” committed by a woman must be considered far graver than that committed by a man. Because extramarital sexual affairs may lead to pregnancies, and if a so-impregnated woman then stays with her husband, the real danger arises that she might be tempted to present her illegitimate offspring to her husband as his own, thus deceiving him to support another man’s child. No such danger exists in the opposite case: no man can submit his illegitimate offspring to his wife without her knowing the truth of the matter. Hence, the far greater social stigma attached to female as compared to male infidelity. (Incidentally—and also quite rationally—in the case of male infidelity a similar distinction is made: the offense is considered more severe if a man has an affair with a married woman than with an unmarried one; for in the former case he becomes a potential accomplice to a further female act of deception whereas in the latter case he does not. Accordingly, in recognition of this distinction and so as to accommodate the rather indiscriminate male sex drive, prostitution has become a near-universal social institution.)

    So there we have, briefly explained, the evolutionary basis for slut shaming.

    Having in mind that those were the incentives that initially led men and women to associate in families and to socially (and sometimes legally) enforce dual fidelity standards helps explain how modern world legal (and also non-legal) incentives are explaining that men’s (and especially women’s) choices in the sexual realm are rational. Contraceptives and State-funded abortion reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancies; taxation, alimony and subsidies reduce the risk of raising unwanted children or of being left alone by the husband; divorce laws reduce the risk of being left broke after a failed marriage. Women have far fewer incentives, other than religious or moral ones, not to take a ride on the CC.

    Lessons learned: Nothing not included in the sidebar. Just a nice nutshell of the economic incentives that explained human evolution regarding AF-BB dynamics, family, restraint of female sexual behavior, and the like.}}

      • Elaine says:


        Maybe IS has some space left for you in their so called “Caliphate?”
        Those “Alpha” guys over there love backward ideas, (and getting shot in pieces of course, in their testosteron driven aggression).
        So they might need some doctors. 🙂

        But no, you live in freedom, are free to share your old fashioned nonsense, and live safe and well in a part of the world that has reached this status only thanks to the contribution of women.

        You’ve probably never wondered why the poorest countries in the world are those where women are oppressed and their potential is not being utilized?
        (Only exception are the oil rich countries)
        Where so-called “Alpha’s” rule and women are only valued for bearing children?

        And before you start your broken record about me being fat, old and hardcore feminist;
        I am for equality and SAME rights for men and women. (not more, not less, for neither party!)
        In my part of the world that is just common sense, in your small world it seems to be hardcore feminism.

        Says more about you as it does about me though… 😉

      • zito says:

        I am sorry, I can really only retort to the comments of that long drivel nofundude posted….theirs no way i could read that all, and from what I started to read, I can see, I am not missing anything…..imo, what is wrong with this world is assholes like dude still thinking this way, I am guessing it is mainly out of fear that the Caucasian male is dying out…(kinda sucks, since I am one)…I think @Elaine is correct, with the exception of us living in freedom…we live under the illusion of freedom in the USA, I for one am glad we have strong women to stand up to men and their narcissistic bs, even if it means someone stands up to me, I love that shit…lol

      • FunDude says:


        I’d expect that type of comment from you lol


        yeah, feel really good actually. Unfortunately, I can’t take credit for that brilliant assessment. I just thought it was so good, it needed to be posted.

    • gentleman soul says:

      Holy Crap !?

    • Jaybird923 says:

      You are such an inconsiderate egotistical ass.

      • FunDude says:

        Maybe you can learn something from real economics instead of just yapping.

        Might help you understand the truth about the feminist breakdown of the family structure and its relation to the economy.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I don’t need to understand or learn anything asshole. Especially not from a self centered man-child who feels the need to force his delusional opinions down everyone’s throat.

        You could’ve just posted the link and allowed anyone one who was interested in reading it do so. But no you’re puffed up on your own self importance that you have to post that garbage here.

    • SouthernSB says:

      I’m not reading a book on a blog. Frankly, I think men got all the perks from feminism and not women. I would much rather be a housewife than a career woman, but since I’m terrible at it, I’m just going to be a girlfriend and take solace in the fact that I was a fantastic mother.

      • FunDude says:


        Its not a “blog” book. Its a essential treatise given by a TOP ECONOMIST on the essential economic factors that made civilization. Feminism essentially destroys civilization due to the discussion mentioned.

        @ Jay

        [comment and link removed]

      • Atlantabebe says:

        Hoppe is far from a “top economist”. Whereas I agree that he is an educated man, he is virtually unknown outside radical liberal and libertarian circles. He has many controversial views and is not taken seriously within the academic world.

        The irony that SD’s don’t want to see a SB call themselves a “Princess” or “Queen” and that Hoppe wants to do away with democracy and instead have a monarchy is not lost on me 🙂

    • Texaspie says:

      All I am seeing is a wall of text saying, “I PREFER THE COMPANY OF MEN!!!”

    • Catcher 22 says:

      Yet another long-winded nonsensical crap rant from Dr broken record syndrome @RantDude. Please refer to dictionary for Word of the Day: “brevity”

  44. Josh says:

    Make-up is a deception that affects female delusions and hence provides lopsided results of studies, such as, one done by OKCupid about female opinion of male looks and vice versa.

  45. Josh says:

    SD: You don’t look 34.

    SB: How old then?

    SD: 44+?

    SB: Fuck you

    SD: Not a bad idea but it seems that you are disappointed that I guessed 44+ instead of more politically correct 24+?

  46. Kitty says:

    Have spoken to some extremely rude and condescending SDs, what is your experience of this on SA?

    • Sunshine says:

      Unfortunately some men and women are of the opinion that because they’re generous (or paying) that they can treat people like animals. It’s entirely upto you whether you want to accept that kind of behaviour for their help, kindly refusing, or telling them where to stick it :).

      Luckily there are plenty of SDs who do not act this way :). It does take time however to weed out those who are fakes or are obnoxious.

    • lovelynyours says:

      In my several years of being around men and women of means and wealth, I’ve discovered that there tends to be a disproportionately high number of rudeness and condescension in wealthy social circles. They’re not usually glaring about it, but you’ll pick up on it here and there. You give some of these guys computers to hide behind though, and the behavior is magnified.

      I’ve also found that people who are truly wealthy are actually quite kind to individuals, in general – it’s the posers, fakes, and new money (lottery winners, actors, athletes, anyone else having received a ton of money, dramatically changing their station almost overnight) that you usually have to worry about.

      Pair that with the uncouth, socially inept, often trashy women who are often attracted to the sugar bowl and you’ve got douches becoming jaded and impatient douches. There’s a good chance that it isn’t something you’ve said – they’re just used to dealing with idiots and they’re used to acting like idiots with little consequence.

  47. Gold3n Gypsy says:

    Out of my almost two weeks on the site, I’ve gone on one date with a potential, and he didn’t seem to mind the fact that I wasn’t wearing any make-up… I’m honestly too lazy to bother with it these days, and find that it’s worse on my skin anyways. Our expectations didn’t mesh so we left it at that. (didn’t make enough monthly to provide what I was looking for, plus he had a newborn to look after)

    But how many SB’s out here, don’t wear it at all but think there is a certain type whom you should wear it for ect, if any?

    I have another date later this week, just scoping out opinions.

    Btw, we really need a new blog…

    • Jaybird923 says:

      But how many SB’s out here, don’t wear it at all but think there is a certain type whom you should wear it for ect, if any?


      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Make up can make a woman look older than what she is, I’m not fond of heavy make up at all, some maybe is ok but generally I am fine if the woman is naturally pretty.

        If you look at Sweet Liv from the other day, I think one of the reasons she looks older than her stated age is because of the make up. I saw another woman on the site recently who was wearing make up so heavy in one photo she looked like a clown, yet in the pics where she wasn’t wearing as much she looked a lot better.

        All personal opinion. I’m more turned off by piercings and tattoos anyway.

      • Gold3n Gypsy says:

        @Jay- I just meant generally that don’t wear it, but might potentially be more inclined to wanting to bother with it based on a certain type of SD.

      • Gold3n Gypsy says:

        Hahah, yes, personal opinion of course.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @gold3n I will put on mascara and lipstick once or twice a year for a special occasion but that’s as far as I go when it comes to make up. I don’t wear make up on regular bases and I wouldn’t do it for an SD.

    • Atlantabebe says:

      I will go out on a limb and say almost all successful SB’s wear makeup.

      You are not like most SB’s though. If a POT looks at your pics and reads your profile, I don’t think they expect you to show up with a face full of makeup. Of course, it won’t hurt to use something. Some concealer and lip gloss can make a big difference. If you put on some mascara, even better.

    • Lovelynyours says:

      I don’t wear makeup for a certain type of person…if I feel like wearing it, I will. I’ll wear it for an occasion, or a photoshoot, but not a person…

      • Gold3n Gypsy says:

        Some SD are more laid-back while others a little more fancy on their outing ideas… So you’d wear it for a SD meeting. But pretty much saying ultimately, do what I feel like doing. Which of course, hehe.

      • Gold3n Gypsy says:

        @Lovely- Some SD are more laid-back while others a little more fancy on their outing ideas… So you’d wear it for a SD meeting. But pretty much saying ultimately, do what I feel like doing. Which of course, hehe.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Yep, that’s what I’m saying.

        Personally, I prefer to accentuate my favorite features, regardless of the occasion but certainly keeping it in mind. A light mineralized powder, lashes, and a lip gloss that matches the natural color of my lips for day dates and beach weekends… photo-friendly foundation like MAC, well-executed eyeshadow/eyeliner, lashes and lip gloss for events where I know photographers will be present, and something in between for the rest of it.

        I don’t use blush because, well, women my skin color don’t actually blush, so it doesn’t look natural, and I already have high and well-defined cheekbones. I use a natural toned gloss because my lips are full and luscious and it’s a good way to draw attention there. And liner/lashes accentuate my almond shaped eyes. If you’re gonna use it, only use it to subtly accentuate your favorite features.

    • FunDude says:

      You look like a freakshow with all the tattoos and earrings.

      Don’t see the point in adding make up.

      • Gold3n Gypsy says:

        @NotsoFun- How very brutally honest of your opinion, well done! -applaud-

      • FunDude says:

        I still love ya though.

        Got to do what you have to do. Im not knocking the freakshow look if you like it.

        Im a libertarian on these issues. If thats the type of guy you want to attract, go for it.

      • Gold3n Gypsy says:

        Perhaps so. Your approach was still quite rude. And didn’t relate to what I was asking. So also quite unnecessary.

        Either way, back to plan A; Giving 0 fucks about make-up.

    • zito says:

      What got me was the nose ring, and the dreads…so unsanitary ….lol

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I can’t stand the little piglet nose rings so many women have now. Not attractive at all.

      • zito says:

        Ive never been on a date with a woman with a nose ring, I imagine it would just distract me all night, and I would just want to yank it out

      • Gold3n Gypsy says:

        @Zito- To all that have actual knowledge on dreadlocks, you sound like a complete idiot x)

        Just as some people without dreadlocks have absolutely unsanitary hair, of course some with dreads don’t have the best when it comes to hygiene.

        But you’d be completely mistaken if you took my dreads for unsanitary 🙂

    • Sunshine says:

      I wish I could avoid make up as I have lovely skin without it (and I get break outs if I use it). However I have crazy dark circles under my eyes so very light make up it is if it’s a dinner date.

      Daytime is lipstick and maybe some eye/brow liner as I have extensions.

      The best make up should gently enhance what you have without going into contouring or caking it on. After all of an SD touches your face he doesn’t want to come away with make up hands!!

      • Gold3n Gypsy says:

        @Sunshine- Yes totally, the breakouts, I hate makeup! haha, but I do like the effect it gives at my photoshoots and such. I guess if I feel he’s worth it after the first date, I may wear some for the second.

        I always did enjoy doing my eyebrows.

    • hototrot1 says:


      I have two men I have dealt with in recent months. One guy likes the flashy, dramatic type. I am female, but I give full drag queen for him. He loves it. When I’m getting dolled up for him, I always think of someone like Diana Ross, Rhianna or Beyonce. I was an actress in a former life, so it was always fun going out with him. I achieved my looks, not so much with makeup. I’m not a big fan of pancake and artificiality. But, I do darken my eyebrows, use tons of gloss and mascara. It’s more attitude than anything.

      My current daddy likes a fresh, pretty natural look. That’s actually close to how I look in my everyday life. Just lipstick and mascara. I love bare, even skin. Nothing uglier than a bumpy, uneven complexion hidden under dull looking foundation. Hideous!

    • SouthernSB says:

      I don’t always wear it, but when I do I only wear the “natural look.” There is no way I could pile it on and wear all the makeup that some of these girls wear. Heck, I wouldn’t know where to start and besides it would make me look 20 years older. In most cases they are wearing all that makeup in order to look older. In my profile picture I’m not wearing any makeup at all and it hasn’t made a bit of difference.

  48. lovelynyours says:

    I’m willing to bet if you combined two or more of these issues on someone’s face, there’d be people who’d think she looked older than if you didn’t. It doesn’t make sense to dismiss these subtle changes and yet still assert that men prefer makeup which does not look like makeup, Josh. That very makeup you refer to is in part created by these subtle techniques – foundation matching skin properly, eyebrows tended to, etc.

    • Atlantabebe says:

      @lovely – I absolutely agree with you. The right techniques and products can make a world of difference. The article really should have put before and after pictures showing the cumulative effects of the “mistakes” and the “tips” at the end to show the difference.

    • Sunshine says:

      Agree lovely! Small changes can make a world of difference.

      Poorly applied make up can often look worse than no make up at all.

  49. Josh says:


    Sorry dear. Neither look any different in the before-after photos. The subtle differences are for female consumption only. This is where women usually go wrong. They waste too much time preparing for female eyes, which may be around when they meet the man, that they forget what men are generally interested in.

    Men are generally interested in make-up, which does not look like make-up.

  50. Ha…the promotional op-out link reads, “No thanks, Im not interested in protecting my skin.”

  51. Jaybird923 says:

    besides the picture with the dark lipstick I could not see a difference between the before and after pictures. She looked exactly the same in all of them.

  52. Josh says:


    “Nothing a handful of microdermabrasion sessions can’t fix.”

    Famous last words?

  53. rembodler says:

    Asking for an ID
    I have no interest in anyone’s real name or address. All I care that you aren’t too young or whether you are being dishonest.
    I am not saying I have a magic wand. But if u say u r 21 and when we meet, you look 30, I want to see that ID, sorry.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Remmy What if you confirm she’s actually 21 but just looks 30? Since your number one priority is dating only women under 25 then there should be no problems right?

      And didn’t you admit a while back that you “fudge” your age also? If an SB requested ID from you would you hand it over?

      • rembodler says:

        1. This is purely hypothetical. I have yet to meet anyone who says 21 and looks 30. If this were to happen, I would probably restrict our interaction to the first meeting and thank her for her time.
        2. If she asks my age or ID to check my age, she is free to do so and I will gladly hand it to her. If she has a problem with it, she can leave.
        Again, purely hypothetical situation, no one ever done it.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        “I would probably restrict our interaction to the first meeting and thank her for her time”

        @Remmy lol This is the part I don’t get with you. If you’re on the meet in the first place it’s because you found her attractive. If she looks exactly like the photos that you found attractive, why the hang up about the age?

      • Anonymous says:

        We have already established he is a hypocrite and lies about his age and a loser who “gets off” on being a jerk to women on this forum. So, does it really surprise anyone that he wants to inspect their ID for “dishonesty” 😉 Or, are the questions rhetorical?

      • rembodler says:

        If she looks like her photos where she looked 21, I would not bother, obviously. Mostly what happens is that her girlfriends tell her that she”does not look a year over 25″ which in her mind means she can use her old photos “all the same”…
        I find it funny how someone who “knows me” so well feels the need to cowardly try and bite anonymously… Always wondered what happened to Scarlet and Cucs…:-))).

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Remmy Ok now it makes sense. SO it’s the same complaint I have about SDs using old pictures.

        I thought this anonymous sounded like Cucumber also.

      • rembodler says:

        I agree, with one caveat. SD brings two things to the arrangement: himself and his money (many here might argue the order should be reversed: his money and himself.
        So if u r not into his looks… You
        may still find some “redeeming quantities” about him.
        If the SB forgot her looks in the past and did not bring them to the first date…it might be difficult to move forward from there…

      • Elaine says:


        Don’t know about Cucumber, but Scarlett would never hide behind an “Anonymous” identity.

        In the years here on this blog, I have never known her as a coward; when she wants to say something, she just does.
        She says whatever she likes without hiding behind “Anonymous” or whatever other name.

        Only cowards hide behind “anonymous”.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Your reasoning is flawed if his money negates his looks than there is no reason for the deceptions in the first place. Obviously you know that while some SB could care less about anything other than your wallet that is not the case for a majority of women. Because if you guys honestly believed we wouldn’t care about your looks you would just provide your real pictures and your real age.

        The same way you require an SB to bring her looks to the first date I need the same thing also. While your looks are not the only important thing or the deciding factor, there needs to be some level of physical attraction in order for this to work. So if I find the man in the pictures attractive and then I show up and there is a diluted version of him sitting in front of me that sort of resemble him but not quite, I’m going to have a problem.

        I don’t care what other redeeming qualities you have at that point. Or how much money you’re bringing to the table. This is especially true in case since money is not my primary focus.

      • rembodler says:

        @Jay – darling, you are very argumentative today.
        If you were my SB, I would just say, I completely agree with you, you are so right. And I agree with anything else you plan on saying in the next 15 minutes.
        Or I could do what Atlanta did above, say that let’s just say we have a difference of opinion on that.
        And, as you said yourself, people have different opinions and expectations. Look at @Reb, who cannot care whether a man even resembles a man, as soon as he pays her well. There are certainly other SBs, not well represented here, who don’t mind a thinner paycheck if the guy is young(er), handsome and suave.
        To each her own.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Remmy LOL I’ve only disagreed with you once in that whole thread all my other comments where questions to get a better understanding of your views and opinions.

        And I’m probably one of the few women who would me more irritated rather than appeased if you pulled the you’re always right nonsense. If I were your SB picking me up and taking me to “bed” would work a lot better. :-))

    • Anonymous says:

      There are certainly other SBs, not well represented here, who don’t mind a thinner paycheck if the guy is young(er), handsome and suave.

      Whatz that u say? Younger, handsome and suave guy? Where? Do u know someone like that?


  54. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh there’s someone by the name of Hannele Marie on the investment SD blog that thinks you’re funny and hot and would like to date you asap.

  55. Josh says:

    @FlyGirl is slipping up on the bad English act with the @sugar baby monkey.

    • FlyBoy says:

      @FlyGirl is slipping up on the bad English act with the @sugar baby monkey.

      “@CrazyJosh is slipping up on the bad English act with the @sugar baby monkey.”

      There, fixed it for ya!

      Cheers 🙂

  56. Josh says:


    MPDG is totally contrived. Never said it weren’t. But it works better than the princess nonsense among adult men. The princess nonsense is for the figment of female imagination. MPDG was contrived by Hollywood for adult males, albeit younger than typical SD age range at SA.


  57. FunDude says:

    Some good black women tell off that bitch Megan Kelly! Damn are going hard!


  58. Josh says:

    @Guru, @rem, @zito think that she looks @Sweet_liv looks older. @rem thinks that she is around 35. @zito did not specify. @Guru thinks that she is around 35 as well, but wanted to leave it open for her response.

    @Jay is being PC. @Atlantabebe is silent.

    Since women are horrible at guessing age due to their own ulterior motive of being called younger than what they are, let’s see which other SD thinks that she is in her 30s?

    • VitesseSD says:

      Older (30s) for sure, or shes really terrible at makeup and makes herself look older with it.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Josh That’s a first I don’t think any one has ever accused me of being PC. I didn’t know we were playing guess what age. I’d say she was closer to 35 than 25. (And if she really is 25 which is a possibility) She needs to lay off the make up.

    • Josh says:


      I stand corrected. I did change the context without giving you the opportunity to guess.

    • Sunshine says:

      Make up and Instagram filters don’t help when it comes to looking young. I’d guess late twenties with those factors taken into consideration.

    • SouthernSB says:

      @Josh-She’s 25. A hard 25 with terrible makeup but 25 all the same.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Nothing a handful of microdermabrasion sessions can’t fix. If we’re guessing, I’d say she’s 31 or 32. Red lipstick will add years to you every single, solitary time.

    • GordonMx says:

      I think I see what you are trying to do here. Age and women can be a sensitive topic. But, looking young or “younger” than your age is not synonymous with being beautiful or even pretty and attractive. As is looking your age or older than your age does not equate to being an ugly or unattractive person.

      I have encountered women over the years who look much younger than their age, but I did not find them attractive. While there was a very beautiful women I once dated, and if someone had asked before knowing her real age, then I would have assumed she was older than her age.

  59. Misstery. says:

    ayyye, I’m bein’ lurky.

    • Josh says:

      What caused you to post?

    • VitesseSD says:

      Ok, so your profile has me intrigued, and you have the whole mysterious thing going on, but tell us about yourself.

      • sugar baby monkey says:

        Wow i see! Now the mysterious thing is to be an idiot! More brainless you are, more easy to be a sugar baby! “Meh” It’s real? She has to be so stupid? Is she retarded? “Panther” Honestly, too much retarded!

    • Josh says:


      I have a feeling that you will do well with sugar. 😉 Best of luck!

    • sugar baby monkey says:

      You’re the typical brainless woman! I wondering why lately some stupid women are trying to be a weirdo? That’s because they think they are very creative! But their behavior can’t be more cliche!

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I can’t believe I’m saying this but I agree with the monkey. That profile is pat and contrived.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        But it obviously works on the SDs and that is what’s important since they are your target. So more power to you :-))

      • Misstery. says:

        Females hate me, man. but it’s cool,I don’t care for them too much either. Trying too hard to be weird and different, riiiight. L0L.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Misstery I’m pretty sure SOME females hate you but I’m not one of them. Since I don’t know you personally I have no idea if you are truly “weird” and “different”. My comment was about your profile and not about you.

      • Misstery. says:

        Oh,it’s fine. That’s true, I’m not offended, I just forgot trolls liked to inhabit comment sections and pretend they matter at all by annoying people they don’t even know. It’s actually funny, in a sad way.
        “Honestly too much retarded”? & I’m stupid? lolk.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes Misstery, this blog can be about as a friendly as a Megyn Kelly Donald Trump cocktail mixer. Some seem a bit jaded and lost the sense of wonder, if it existed! But you seem to be able to handle yourself, so wade in!

    • Misstery. says:

      …Meh. (:

    • REAL sugar baby monkey says:

      @ Misstery. This is REAL sugar baby monkey, and I apologize for mean, nasty comments of FAKE sugar baby monkey. Pay her no attention. She is terrible disgrace to her species. Good luck to you. Hope you find SD who is sweet and generous with banana.

      See no Evil. Hear no Evil. SPEAK no evil.

  60. Josh says:

    This page is too damn slow. Who else wants to cut over to the TG page until they post a new article?

    Methinks they are not going to post new article until they get certain number of hits on the TG article.

  61. Josh says:

    Hmmm. You only had one taker because it was buried deep in the thread. Write it again fresh, including my name, right here above my post. 😉

  62. Josh says:


    Say something dumb and you will have many cheering you. 😉

  63. Amber B. says:

    It’s always so hard to jump into convo on here. Hmmmmm

  64. Pete SD says:

    Hi Jaybird923. Would you mind directing me to your profile. Would like to send you a PM.

  65. Pete SD says:

    Hi Jaybird923. Would you mind directing me to your profile.

  66. mami says:

    I would like to connect with sugar babies in my area as well as bbw or married babies as it would be nice to talk and get advice from them. I am not doing horrible on here but I could always improve some things. I did redo my profile but I just want to know what I am doing wrong. My pictures are not the best but they are all of me. I am honest as they come and just need a little more advice .

  67. Sweet_Liv says:

    Help! I’m torn between being told I was saying too much,then saying too little in my profile and I would like a stranger’s opinion on what could be changed. I’m also hoping to reach out to another SB in the Miami area in their 20’s to befriend, but not sure how to go about that on the site. xo

    • Josh says:

      You don’t look 25.

      • Sweet_Liv says:

        Is that all as far as issues with my page? 25 is my true age, but I’ve always been told I look much younger. (Unless, you’re thinking I look older?) I don’t want to lie about my age if I don’t have to!

      • Atlantabebe says:

        Josh is probably implying that you look older than 25 (ready further down the posts). I am a newbie here, but my suggestion is to change your main picture, as it puts emphasis on the over-sized glass of wine and not you.

      • Atlantabebe says:

        Sorry, *read not ready.

      • zito says:

        looks older to mw as well…. not that it matters really

    • Josh says:

      You’re saying too much because whatever you wrote is boring as hell.

    • Traveling Man says:

      Sweet Liv, your profile is a bit thin on photos and charming content, doesn’t have to be alot of text, but maybe a bit more pizzaz, hard to get a read on who you are, you are pretty!

    • Josh says:

      The dilemma most young women face is that if they wrote the same profile text on Match they would get hundreds of men wanting to fuck themfor free. So they get jaded and try the same here.

      Sweetheart, unless you are smoking hot, you will have to try a bit harder for your desired allowance.

    • rembodler says:

      If you are indeed 25, you have to have better photos. On the day you look your best, go to a professional and ask them to use a Photoshop if needed.
      Some people are just not photogenic at all – you must be one of them.
      In your photo you look at least 10 years older.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Remmy LMAO Well done :-)))

        *not laughing at you Sweet_live

      • rembodler says:

        Women of this age group have been my fancy for many years.
        I admit – I have stooped as low as asking a woman who claimed to be 25, her ID during our dinner date. I had women who would get up and leave in the middle of the dinner instead, but I have yet to be wrong…

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Remmy I should start doing that with the SDs I wonder how many will hand it over. lol

      • Atlantabebe says:

        Agreed, she looks older.

        @SweetLiv – When you write your profile, say what you can offer the SD. It would also be a good idea have someone check it over for grammar and punctuation.

        I personally wouldn’t show someone I just met my ID, it has my address on it! Instead, perhaps ask them what year they graduated high school, college, etc.

        @rembodler – I am curious, did you ask for ID because the women looked way older than 25, just because you knew they lied or for some other reason?

      • Sunshine says:

        Only problem is those who finish school early or are doing university late. So I don’t think it would work.

        Hopefully if they’ve made it to the first meet stage it’s not a big deal provided their photos are recent. It’s just a number!

      • Atlantabebe says:

        If you ask a POT SB (or SD for that matter) when they graduated HS/college and they lied about their age, they will probably get flustered or hesitate because they have no idea when they “should” have graduated. If the number is off and they answered honestly, they will have an explanation handy since the topic has come up before. Example: “I took all AP classes and graduated early” or “they held me back in kindergarten”.

    • gentleman soul says:

      @Liv, your profile is a perfect length for me .Says it all . You need a full length picture without props

  68. Josh says:


    “I think most Americans would say [in] kindergarten…not “at” kindergarten.”

    Context is king. 😉

  69. Josh says:


    ‘And then suga baby said, “Why spend mine when I can spend yours?”
    And suga daddy said, “Then do whatcha daddy tellz ya.”’

    And the suga baby said, “But I’ma strong, independent womaa.”

  70. Josh says:

    Re: “basics concepts of cause and effect”

    Some women are smart but many don’t know what they heck “cause and effect” means. 😉

  71. FlyBoy says:

    Me thinks somebody forgot to take his medications!!!

    Cheers 🙂

  72. Josh says:

    I have been getting messages from these women who look way older than their profile age. I tell them “you don’t look X”, and 100% of the time they take it as a compliment as if I were suggesting that they looked younger. 😉

    • Jaybird923 says:

      lol then maybe you should phrase it differently if you want to make sure they know they are being insulted. Instead of “you don’t look X” say “You look older than X”

    • Josh says:

      I am notinsulting them. I am stating the fact and intentionally using that phrase to assess their level of delusion.

    • Josh says:

      She looks older but I still wanted to give a chance because she lied about being in her late 20s.

      What do I get? He last bit of money was lost and she does not even have gas money to meet me and I am supposed to help her with it.


    • Josh says:

      Well my test has not failed me yet.

    • Amber B. says:

      You know, I really don’t know what woman in her right mind would want to have you as an SD. Unless they had some weird fetish… dating narcissists.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        LOL I guess you had no problems jumping in after all :-))

      • Anonymous says:

        Calling him a ‘SD’ is using the term very loosely. Better terms would be as follows: One who enjoys living on the blog, pushing hot buttons for reactions and antagonizing women for shits and giggles seems a better fit 🙂

  73. Anonymous says:

    Charged or found guilty of?

  74. Jaybird923 says:

    Another silly quiz… What kind of Sugar Daddy are you?


  75. Atlantabebe says:

    So I had a POT and when I did a Google search on him, I found out that in October he was charged with trafficking for sexual servitude, keeping a place of prostitution and violation of the RICO Act! I reported it to SA but his profile is still up. I am alarmed that SA has not pulled his profile. Thoughts?

    • Josh says:

      SA will get back to you soon and you can then provide links to your Google search results.

    • Reb. says:

      You have to personally contact Brandon (like on Facebook) for any accounts to be removed. Trust me, the report button is useless. They just tell you to block them.

    • THEATLSD says:

      How did you check him? Did he give you his real name?

      • Atlantabebe says:

        Real first name, fake last name. Looked up phone number. Cross referenced his mug shot with pics from SA. Was very flaky as well and kept changing his story.

    • Elaine says:


      Unfortunally SA doesn’t give a sh*t, as long as he pays his membership.
      Sad but true.

      Only thing they care about is keep pretending they have 4,5 million members.
      Doesn’t matter what kind of members …

    • Nina says:

      Would you mind sharing his name? I got scammed by an SD on here and would like to stay away from guys like those too!

  76. Josh says:

    @FlyGirl = @Catcher 22 [email protected] baby monkey

    “@Josh. Don’t feel so alarmed Josh sweetee. Your deeply closeted secret on your personal gender/species identity remain perfectly safe. Remember, banana a day keep uncloseting away.”

    Sweetheart, you forgot to used contrived bad English here. 😉

  77. lovelynyours says:

    In other news, I just clicked on the profile of, and encountered, a blog commenter who posted on the transgendered page who is actually someone I know from my hometown. Haven’t seen him – well, her – in ages, but I heard about her transition through the grapevine. The sugar bowl is a small, small world. For better or worse.

    Can SBs see other SBs who view their profile? Or do you only get notifications if it’s from an SD?

  78. sindry says:

    Deseo saber si este sitio tiene chat online

  79. Bartolo says:

    I’ve yet to pass on a POT and then regret it. The initial emails are sweet . . . but when I respectfully decline to pursue, the back-handed comments (“it’s a shame you had time to write last week but now you can’t see me) or worse vitriol comes out. I can only imagine what would have happened if I’d slept with her once, and then tried to end it!!!

    This is mostly an issue with the very young (19-23) POT’s, a huge reason I tread there very cautiously, if at all.

    • Sunshine says:

      Some people will give you hate no matter what. I thanked a guy for his time (had not met him yet), explained that I had found an arrangement and was no longer looking. He said some nasty things and said that it reflects what kind of person I am.
      What kind of person is that? The one that has an arrangement and has the decency to respond as to availability?
      Where do these people come from??

      • Bartolo says:

        @Sunshine: It’s why, although I despise “endless emails,” I have come around and prefer to email long enough to ferret out such personalities. As a married SD I feel somewhat vulnerable as it is, and don’t need a whacko mad at me.

      • Sunshine says:

        Completely agree.

        I had a guy refuse to even tell me his hobbies as he wanted to meet first. So basically he has a picture up and I was supposed to meet off that having had no chance to gauge what he was like. Of course the resulting debate what enlightening ;).

  80. Josh says:

    I like @Shiny_uk who has been posting on the TG/TS page.

    • FlyBoy says:

      Are you talking the faggot with the beard who thinks it’s a woman?


      Cheers 🙂

      • FlyBoy says:

        *talking about

      • lovelynyours says:

        Jesus Christ. That just made my soul cringe.

      • Catcher 22 says:

        Dear Mr Dream SD FlyBoy. Please stow your transphobia and your Trump-size self-esteem aboard your imaginary corporate jet and Fly Away Home. Where you should seek immediate psychiatric help to overcome your irrational fears and insecurities.

        Cheers 🙂

    • Josh says:

      @Admin, please note the blatant disregard for people’s sexual orientation and put at stop to such blog comments.

      • Elaine says:


        No use judging people in such disrespectful way!

      • sugar baby monkey says:

        @Josh. Don’t feel so alarmed Josh sweetee. Your deeply closeted secret on your personal gender/species identity remain perfectly safe. Remember, banana a day keep uncloseting away.

  81. SD says:

    Hello, POT SB just came clean that she is actually 33 not 27 as advertised. We have an atypical Sugar Bowl interaction as she is genuinely independent and with a good job in the diplomatic service with an interest in finance whereas I work in financial services and have a strong interest in politics.

    As i gather she recently came out of a long term relationship and was directly by friends to join SA as a way to market herself to her target audience, rather than the pursuit of direct compensation i.e. she is looking for a long term real relationship here.

    That can work for me too (long term) but can you trust someone that lies about basic things like that…plus 33 i too old if you’re looking for 4 kids with a 2 year age gap between each is it not.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      It’s not necessarily to late it depends on how long you plan to drag out the courtship stage before getting married and trying to start a family. And family history plays a big role too. The women in my family have healthy children with no genetic/mental issues well I to their 40’s without the aide of fertility treatments.

    • Bartolo says:

      Lying about one’s age is pretty standard here and in the world of online dating generally. Many of us live in glass houses and thus don’t throw stones at such. YMMV.

    • Reb. says:

      95% of the SDs on the site lie about their age. On average, it is 10-20 years. Some list 45 and they’re actually pushing 65. At this point, it is just something that has to be accepted. If you like how they look and treat you, their real age shouldn’t matter unless you planned on having kids with them.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I don’t care if you lie about your age but use a recent picture.

      • Sunshine says:

        Second using a recent picture.

        I almost always automatically refuse to continue if they have a picture of a skinny guy but say they’re full/few extra pounds or they say they’re 50 but there’s a picture of a 20 year old.

        Saw one guy use the picture of a well known tv star as his main picture (and it was obviously not said tv star).

      • Jaybird923 says:

        The guys on SA are ridiculous when it comes to the whole age/picture thing. I understand lying about your age to come up in search results. But you can’t say you’re 45 and use a picture of yourself from when you were 45 if you’re 60.

    • SD says:

      Thanks for the info..although she just informed me that sghe speaks 6 languages and read two MScs simultaneously which is quite literally INCREDIBLE. I hope she doesn’t frequent this Blog.

      She cooks and cleans though which is always a good start. : ) and sews too, I do have some trousers that need to be hemmed actually

      • SouthernSB says:

        OMG she cooks and CLEANS????!!! Don’t let her get away, any woman who isn’t waiting for her maid is a miracle woman in this day and age.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Southern’s not wrong. I adore taking care of a guy I’m with in many ways, but cleaning a house (especially a large one) on a daily to weekly basis is not something even I’d like to put on my list of things to do.

      • Josh says:

        “She cooks and cleans though which is always a good start. : ) and sews too”

        Don’t you worry…given enough time she will get bored with those activities along with spreading her legs.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        LoL so true not all women but a majority follow this game plan until they’re married. Since you’re looking to have kids get ready for the I’m overweight because I had a baby thing also.

      • SD says:

        I suspect all that will disappear very quickly. Maybe I was being to subtle but I her claim seem a little outlandish…2 degrees simultaneously? incredible (impossible to believe).

        Well at least she bakes and her hands are about the right size

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @SD What does that mean? “Her hands are the right size”

      • SD says:

        they are just the right size, not too small firm and soft at the same time.

      • Jerry says:

        “She had man hands…the hands of a man. It’s like a creature out of Greek Mythology, I mean, she was like part woman, part horrible beast”

    • lovelynyours says:

      Personally, I don’t mind a little age fudge – though frankly, I don’t see the point. If you’re 63 or 57, old is still old. If I was a guy looking to have a future with someone, a 5 year age difference might matter if she’s younger, since 5 years can make a huge difference emotionally and intellectually at that age. It would make me wonder what else they’d fudge and lie about, though – so while I don’t write them off entirely just for that, I do place them on a hawk-like radar for any other cues of b.s. behavior, and the wall I typically put up would take a lot more work on their part to come down.

      The bigger the gap, the less forgiving I am. A 65 year old trying to pass for 45 tells me he thinks I’m stupid enough to buy it, and if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s when a guy attempts to insult my intelligence.

    • Elaine says:


      You think you can just “order” 4 kids with a 2 year age gap?
      Try Amazon if you want to order “stuff”.
      It doesn’t work that way with kids.
      Gosh…. what a rational and calculative way of looking upon “having” kids…

      I mean, ever have giving it a thought that after 3 kids you might not even want more?
      Or after the second one, for some reason she cannot have more?
      Or after the first kid you find out that the combination of genetic material of the 2 of you is causing genetical defects in children?
      Or maybe even that you are not fertile?

      Having 4 kids in 8 years with 2 years age gap is something you CANNOT plan the way you are trying to.
      You can only hope for it to work out like you wished.

      And about age:
      1. Nearly everybody here lies (at least a little) about age, has not much to do with not being honest, it’s more of a marketing technique in a world overly focussed on age.
      2. Also a 27 year old might have problems to get pregnant, and end up have her first kid after years of trying.

      • hototrot1 says:

        I don’t lie about my age. I don’t even shave a year. I’m no good two shoes, but it feels weird lying about that. I don’t volunteer it unless asked.

        I can usually tell a person’s age not by how they look, but by the way they talk and the references they use with regard to life events. There’s always a giveaway.

        Dated a POT once from this site who shaved 7 years off. He was so smug and proud of himself. “I don’t look at all like I’m 62, do I?” I wonder how he’d feel if I’d shaved 7 years off of my age.

        I like older men, but I don’t like liars.

      • hototrot1 says:


      • SD says:

        Thanks for the comment, I appreciate your view on the kids calculation and I think it is important at least have a goal in mind for a clear sense of direction even though such a plan may not not play out inevitably as expect precisely.

        Although her being multi-lingual is great because I would like my children to grow up with language skills. Here in the UK you kids take A levels prior to University with the highest grade for each subject being an A. Now to realistically get into Oxford or Cambridge you would need to achieve 5As whereas the an averagely intelligent and hard working person can usually achieve 3 – The language skills provides and opportunity to acquire the more A-levels with minimal effort. So yes I am quite calculating about the whole thing.

        What can be more important than being good dad.

      • Elaine says:


        Being a good dad has nothing to do with calculative and rational planning, or finding a mother who is multilingual.

        If you are not multilingual yourself, and live in UK, english will be spoken at home with the kids, if that is both parents native language. It just goes automatically.
        Believe me on that, I am multilingual myself, and in such situation.

        If being a good dad means planning about what university they might attend while those potential kids are still fluid, you really have no idea what you are talking about…

        Ever heard this one: “Life is what’s happening while you are busy making plans”?

        Every parent will make mistakes, and kids are unpredictable independent creatures.
        The only right thing a good dad can do is love them, unconditionally.

        Even if they would decide to not attend university and become a plumber.
        Or change their gender, or turn out to be gay, or handicapped or challenged in whatever other possible way.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @SD There’s nothing wrong with wanting the best for your kids and taking steps to make sure they have a great foundation to help them achieve the best.

        Speaking from experience yes they need love and support and some wiggle room to grow. But I wish my parents were a little more like you when it came to education. I do well at what I do But I can honestly admit that I never worked up to or lived up to my full potential. I have an above average IQ, always tested in 95th percentile and up but turned out to be a bit of an under achiever.

        You just have to find a balance between loving your kids and letting them be individuals and motivating and pushing them to be the best they can be.

      • SD says:

        @ Elaine and you would know about being a DAD would you.Shut the fuck up Elaine, you are obviously very stupid indeed. and seem to interpret everything through your very narrow life experience.

        Being a Good parent in general has nothing to do with unconditional loving of the Pot smoking, helpless, high school drop out of a child that you are going to raise. Unconditional love, what does that even mean you moron, it goes without saying that your love for your children will be unocnditional.

        How dare you tell me how to fulfill my role as a parent you pretentious, arrogant yank bitch. Good luck raising your crop of food stamp heroine addicts with your unconditional love.


      • SD says:

        @ Elaine.The more I think about it, the more I unravel another layer of stupidity in what you just said.

        First of all. Post link to your profile or drop the stupid lie about your multilingual skills. I for one was also an astronaut in my gap year prior to university. Not that it not common but I just know that u are not.

        “Life is what’s happening while you are busy making plans”? – So, I guess there is no point the in the federal reserve making forecasts and making plans,no point in any business putting together a business plan, no point in planning a career path, no point in any kind of planning what so ever. HEY EVERYONE. Elaine in her infinite wisdom contends that we should just flap in the wind from one crack den to another presumably without a care or plan in the world. after all you cant plan for everything so why bother having a goal and claear sense of direction and options on how you might get there.

        I mean if I want to travel through NYC to meet someone, what’s the point of putting together route map. after all the subway may be closed and there may be traffic; no. I should just meander into the road and keep on walking around randomly until I arrive at my destination some point. Why even have a destination, my friend and I should just keep on walking randomly until we happen across each other.

        I don’t know about you but for me yes. being a good dad means taking every possible step to ensure that you’re kids are equipped to succeed as productive member of society.

        Will leave the hugging and kissing to mummy

      • Sunshine says:

        Oh my?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Shit. Thank God I didn’t criticize you lol

      • Elaine says:


        You just made clear that you are going to make a GREAT dad!
        Very sophisticated, the way you express yourself!
        Is this the way they deliver them from Oxford and Cambridge?

        I hope your SB reads this blog and recognizes your anger issues in time!

        Poor mother, poor kids…

      • Elaine says:

        Oh, and thank you for just having confirmed me being BI-lingual at minimum, by calling me “a yank bitch”

        It makes one think about your knowledge of foreign languages, when you don’t even recognize a non native english blogger, and have to ask for a profile as proof.

        Cheers! 🙂

      • Josh says:

        Ouch!!! 😉

      • Elaine says:

        @ Jay

        I wasn’t even criticizing, I was just challenging him on his incredible naive and rational view upon children and parenthood.

        I happen to be a mum, multilingual, and trying to raise my (thank God, healthy!) children three lingual.
        So I know what I am talking about.

        Can you imagine what happens if his child would be born less then perfect, handicapped, misshapen or with an genetical defect?
        THAT is what I meant saying “Life is what is happening ….”

        I was not talking about not having goals or a damned city map.
        I was talking about NATURE, and it being bigger as us.

        You just cannot plan everything.
        THAT was my point to this perfect gentleman.

      • SD says:

        What part of shut the fuck up escapes your understanding.I am to assume that you area also retarted

      • SD says:

        When I need to your opinion I will ask for it. Don’t care if your stupid comments were deliberately offensive or not; I took offence.

        @ STUPID SAYS: “Can you imagine what happens if his child would be born less then perfect, handicapped, misshapen or with an genetical defect?
        THAT is what I meant saying “Life is what is happening ….”

        I was not talking about not having goals or a damned city map.
        I was talking about NATURE, and it being bigger as us.

        You just cannot plan everything.
        THAT was my point to this perfect gentleman.”

        Well DOUGH. Thank you for stating what would obvious to even a 5 year old. You are really very insightful obviously. And yes it does feed into making a plan the fact that you can’t understand the use of my analogy and still argue the same point speaks volumes….you make plan, shit happens, you adjust your plans.

        At Kindergarten when speaking with children, I get on my knees, speak slowly and use language easily understood by children; and that is why I communicate with you in this way.

      • He says my pussy speaks to him. Call me bilingual.

        Says he wants to try it. Call me trilingual.

        Says all he wants to do is bring me many money.

        Wants to put it everywhere. Holey matrimony.

      • Elaine says:

        @ SD

        I hope nature will be merciful and ensure you will not be able to reproduce.
        It would be a blessing for the genetic pool in general, and your future wife and fluid children in particular!

        Gosh….you really have some anger issues and your choice of words does indicate some about the background you’re coming from….

      • Josh says:

        Ouch again!!! 😉

      • kettle corn and queef butter…

        …this is getting nasty :(.

      • Anonymous says:

        I am skeptical of this SD character. The UK really does not really use the word kindergarten much. That is more american term. We say nursery school.

      • kettle corn and daddy butter…

        …this is getting juicy 😮

      • SD says:

        @ Elaine. Ok.

        Nature. There are number of test you can take to determine your risk in bearing offspring with certain ailments. But then again, that would be planning, which is precisely the thing you are seemingly so against.

        You don’t seem to be able to grasp the most basics concepts of cause and effect and then proceed to place quite generic insults that are really quite meaningless and do not go to clarify or assert your point if you claim you have one. I do not step on a landmine and then complain that my leg was blown off. You are presume to tell me from you female perspective about the very fundamental core of what it mean to be a good father from a male perspective – which is always going to be a loser.

        And in the process assume to lecture me on how things go on in my alma mater for example: ARROGANCE.

        And if that was not enough, you also want to instruct me on how to negotiate my life particularly in the raising of my children, because you are obviously an oracle on this subject.

        And in the process demonstrate a lack of intelligence by failing to understand and extrapolate very simple analogies.

        I don’t mean to point to the obvious, but as woman with 3 children, with such wisdom and intelligence that extends far beyond their own experience of life. why are you here.

      • I think most Americans would say [in] kindergarten…not “at” kindergarten.

      • I think most Americans would say [in] kindergarten…not “at” kindergarten.

      • And then suga baby said, “Why spend mine when I can spend yours?”

        And suga daddy said, “Then do whatcha daddy tellz ya.”

      • Elaine says:

        “You are presume to tell me from you female perspective about the very fundamental core of what it mean to be a good father from a male perspective – which is always going to be a loser.”

        Maybe you would be so kind as to explain where I did say such thing?
        I said that unconditional love for your child makes you a good parent.
        Because you will make mistakes, as every parent does, but what will stick to the child is not the mistakes you made, but the feeling to be loved and wanted.

        “I don’t mean to point to the obvious, but as woman with 3 children, with such wisdom and intelligence that extends far beyond their own experience of life. why are you here.”

        Maybe you would be so kind as to explain where I did say having 3 children?

        And every regular on this blog knows why I am here.
        No need to further explain to a newcomer, who is asking for reactions on his post, and then getting nasty and pissed off when he gets challenged on it.

        And my dear, may I point out it was not ME starting to insult and calling the other names and a liar? In the meanwhile shooting yourself in the feet and looking silly with your statements, because most regulars here know I am not lying. 🙂

      • SD says:

        @ Elaine. Noise.

      • SD says:

        @ Elaine. I don’t care. Don’t have the time to explain anything to you.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Elaine I wasn’t accusing you of criticizing him. I said Thank God I didn’t.

      • I think we probably all try to set a plan and live by it at some point. Also, think that most do this regarding family planning. Sometimes the 5-year plan stretches into a 7-year plan or 10-year, and other times becomes a 2-year plan or a completely different plan all together. I dont see anything wrong with setting a plan, and trying to stick to it as feasible to means, capability and ultimate desire. Of course life happens, but I think that most start off with an optimistic mind that things will go according to desired plan. Also think that everyone is entitled to give it their best shot, even if they find that things didnt play out as planned.

        As for why Elaine is here…

        I know that many have shared their successes here on blog…the loudest of whom has been found to be a fraudulent embellisher…but of course, fantasy sells. Elaine isnt boastful of her benefactors because she is regarding enough not to exploit their givings to inflate her own ego or “prove” her credibility. Her approach to sugar has been farsighted, and has been instrumental in seeing her goals to fruition. I admire her hand.

        If I may say…

        I think that the tone that is taken from some of Elaine’s post is frustration with projections and generalizations that she has found contrary to her experience and continued success with sugar. But alas, not everyone wants or has the same experience in life or in sugar, and not everyone will relate or agree.

        Seems like an agreeable disagreement. Not sure that four-letter insults and wishing one sterile was really necessary.

        When life hits an unexpected turn…put some sugar- butter on the kettle corn, and eat it. Obviously.

      • SD says:

        @ yougottabekiddingme. Thank you. Good post.

      • SD says:

        @ yougottabekiddingme: Oh I see. Her extraction of material gain from an SD online is why she has the governance to lecture me on how to raise my children.

        If I had known that from the get go I would have not been so mild in my condemnation.

      • SD, please dont do that to my words. I neither said nor implied that. I politely request that you re-read my post.

    • SD says:

      @ anonymous: I interchange the words quite a lot here, for the audience and convenience. where are you from in the UK.

  82. Josh says:


    Re your gravatar. I see a pair of boobs and legs. What’s in the middle on the tummy?

  83. Jaybird923 says:

    Fun little quiz … How kinky are you? I got Kinkster. Apparently I like it rough, different and kinky lol


    • Traveling Man says:

      Kinkster here! What are you doing Saturday?

    • Josh says:

      “You’re not a total prude and have no trouble trying out new things that may turn you or your partner on. Bring out those fuzzy cuffs and melted chocolate!”

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I could’ve guessed that from that video you posted last time 33 ways to arouse a woman or whatever it was called :-))

    • SouthernSB says:

      Seems I’m a kinkster, and I didn’t even know it. Now I’m wondering what’s going on in the deep recesses of my dirty little mind.

    • lovelynyours says:

      “You like it rough, different and kinky. So bring out the whips and chains, spank you very much!” Kinkster!

  84. Atlantabebe says:

    I have updated my profile and would really appreciate any feedback you guys can provide. For example, what works and what doesn’t in my profile? Should I change my main profile picture? Is the length OK? Should I add additional information on my interests (beach, museums, learning about new cultures, etc.). Thanks!

    • Elaine says:

      Your profile pic is not flattering and too dark.
      It makes you look older as your real (?) age.
      Think your text is ok, just try to get better pics.

      And don’t us pics with a friend on it.
      Like; NEVER!!
      Takes away the focus, especially when she is cute.
      Don’t think it is respectful as far as her privacy too.
      If I were a (married) SD (80%), this lack of discreteness would be a red flag to me.

      What strange kind of idea is this of some SBs to use group pics?
      I would HATE to figure on a picture of a friend, on whatever site!
      Especially if I was not aware of it.

      Never seen a SD doing that btw.
      Is it a sort of on-line version of going to the bathroom together?

      • Atlantabebe says:

        Thanks Elaine. I switched my profile pic and deleted the other one. I was thinking about taking some more pics this weekend, so I will definitely do that now. I really appreciate your feedback!

      • lovelynyours says:

        I’ve seen SDs on the site do this, either with guy friends or with women that look like past/current SBs. Maybe every 20th profile. But I agree with your point.

      • Elaine says:


        You are right, now I think about it, indeed, I have seen some male profiles with another woman on it.
        Don’t remember any with other guys though.

        I would NEVER react on a male profile with pics with another woman. (Unless they seek for a threesome, then it makes sense)

        1.Because I would think he is a loser who needs to show there actually ARE women who find him attractive, at least enough for a photo together.

        2.I would think he is a bluffer who whants to show how beautiful women he has around, and how lucky you might be to

      • Elaine says:

        Sorry, stupid tablet…

        Wanted to say:” How lucky you would be to be part of his harem.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Oh, I agree with you there – I don’t pursue them either. I call it The Hefner Pose. There are variations: two beautiful women on each side smiling or kissing him on the cheek, a woman next to him, his arm around her waist and her hand on his chest, multiple pretty women posing with him at a step-and-repeat, etc.

        You hit the nail on the head; the intention is for a pot SB to see that other women find him desirable, and to also quietly set a standard that illuminates his type.

        I think there are more charming, less tacky ways to accomplish both of these that don’t make you look like a Hugh Hefner wannabe, however.

      • THEATLSD says:

        “museum”is one of the 3 words I use in my search when I use profile text search. Won’t hurt to add it.

    • Texasjazz says:

      I carefully reviewed the language in your profile and think that you did a very good job. I will say in the “searching” for area, you specifically pointed out that you are seeking “wants” not “needs”. That’s really important to a SD who can determine if you fit in his parameters.

      Good Luck

    • Atlantabebe says:

      I appreciate all of the feedback, thanks!

  85. Josh says:

    I have a serious issue that I will discuss when the next blog article shows up. This is just too fucking slow in here.

  86. Jaybird923 says:

    New York city Potholes strikes again. Just busted my ass on a first meet. (more like skinned my knee) I was hoping it would work to my advantage and make me less appealing

    • Traveling Man says:

      Sorry Jay! Hope you are alright, remote sympathy vote here in North Carlina aw

    • lovelynyours says:

      Ouch! Took a tumble down the subway steps on 59th once. Not my finest hour. Grab some neosporin at Duane Reade or something. 🙁 Were you in heels?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        thank you guys I’m alright. I want expecting sympathy but it’s appreciated.

        @lovely it was a casual meeting so thank god no stilettos just a pair of 4 inch wedges

  87. TrishBeauty says:

    I’ve had no luck since I’ve been here any suggestions on my profile? i thought my profile was well written and descriptive. straight and to the point you can find it here. or maybe a sugar daddy thats interested in me ? https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/e0490a001/view

  88. THEATLSD says:

    @Cryptic and Sunshine
    There is a SB looking for help on the Investment SD blog. Her name is K-violet. She is from Perth, you two may be able to help her.

  89. FunDude says:

    Trump is alpha as shit. Megan Kelly tried her feminist bullshit on him. What about the WOMYN lol


  90. Josh says:


    Can you please put a new article up and remove the indent. If you must have indent then slow only one level so that the text is easy to read on cell phones.

  91. flyR says:

    If there is anybody at home at SA it is time for a new topic.

    Note that we voted with digits that your Jenner topic was 99.9% irrelevant

    • Because that which is uncomfortable is irrelevant :).

      • Elaine says:

        Hey @Kidding!

        Miss your presence here!
        How is life?

      • Hey, Elaine :). Life is sweet, of course! Ive missed your presence as well. All things well in your world?

        Almost hopped a plane to your neck of the globe this weekend. Was feeling a bit bored and flighty, no pun. There is an airliner that offers some pretty inexpensive flights. Masturbated and took a nap instead. What a waste. Then applied for a silly job online just to see what happens…an online, work-from-anywhere-in-the-world position…and it doesnt even involve a webcam. Howz about that?! Yes, am really bored. Oh! And tomatoes! Im growin’ ’em. They are going to be so sexy when they come. Yep, Im sure :).

      • Elaine says:


        Hey, life is nice over here, pity you didn’t take that plane,
        would have been fun. 🙂
        Am bored too, please come over and bring me some of them sexy tomatoes!

    • Josh says:

      @flyR is a stupid party operative and I ass-u-me watches Fox news diligently. 😉

      For me it was not the topic per se, as I acknowledged Alexis for writing it. It was just that too many SDs were uncomfortable with it so we came back here.

      SDs pay the bill around here. 😉

  92. Jaybird923 says:


    I thought this was so funny. I had to share

  93. MissTy_100 says:

    Im just going to be paitient, yes it’d be great to stumble across serendipity.. but lifes’ too short to count on a website for happiness and progression, either way ill pursue both

  94. Jaybird923 says:

    Quite day today after all the hoopla from yesterday

  95. anonymous says:

    I’ve been on this site for a few month now, and I haven’t had any luck. Can someone review my profile and tell me what I might be doing wrong? Thank you!

  96. Colgate says:

    Wholly Sheet! What the hell has become of this blog? Has it now been reduced to a forum for rival feuding monkeys?

  97. lovelynyours says:

    Jesus Christ. I just got a message from someone telling me I look just like his daughter. He wants to meet ASAP, is really into role play, and signed his message “Daddy”.

    I mean, honestly. What in the actual fuck. :/

    What’s the most bizarre proposal you’ve ever received, all?

    • Josh says:

      Is he new to sugar?

    • IHF2030 says:

      My membership expired a while ago, but I still like to check out the offerings, here, from time to time. And, the other day I came across the profile of a very attractive young woman who is the daughter of a woman I dated a few years back.

    • Sunshine says:

      Yeah. There’s one guy in NYC looking for a “daughter” but he also wants sex. All of which is in his profile. I guess it’s good that at least he’s upfront from the get go?

    • lovelynyours says:

      No, his profile has been around for a while, Josh. Sunshine, lol – I guess? At least that guy wasn’t looking for someone who looked like his daughter. That bit makes it infinitely creepier. Hope his actual daughter hasn’t had anything traumatic happen to her…

      • Sunshine says:

        Yeah that’s the only thing that bugs me about all of that is if someone has that kind of fantasy is that something that they’ve acted on in the past or is it just a fantasy?

    • SouthernSB says:

      One guy offered to fly in my sister and meet us both.

  98. Josh says:


    “Was the relationship with the sister consummated”

    What the fuck does it have to do with anything, sweetheart? (Pun intended)

  99. REAL sugar baby monkey says:


    This is REAL sugar baby monkey. Monkey want to apologize for disgraceful behavior of FAKE sugar baby monkey, who has been hurling outrageous nasty insults to blog posters.

    FAKE monkey is embarrassment to her species. REAL monkey does not hate SDs. Some of my best friends are SDs. Including my sweet @Josh.

    My good friends Curious George and Chunky Monkey also extend heartfelt apology for Abominable behavior of FAKE monkey.

    My Motto: See no Evil. Hear no Evil. SPEAK no Evil.

    • gentleman soul says:

      Is no one going to mention that Monkey has the same personality and writing style as the short-lived user “a latin opinion” who also had a weird obsession with Josh? Josh is slipping up on his proxies.

    • Josh says:


      @sugar baby monkey’s English mistakes are contrived and random. The post above has only one grammatical mistake.

      If you can’t see the difference between the contrived language imperfection in the @sugar monkey baby’s prose, and the genuine English mistakes made by @latin opinion, which are similar to the English mistakes native Spanish speakers make, then what can I say… 😉

  100. Josh says:


    “Most feminists are fat and/or unattractive.

    Stop being a mangina. You are sounding like flygirl.”

    I am a logician…

    Facts are facts. @Elaine is neither fat nor unattractive. The only valid argument against that is to claim that the photos she shared with me are either not hers or were from years ago.

    • Elaine says:


      I am not unhappy with my looks, but in case I was going to send fake pictures around and thus could pretend to be whomever I want, I would “borrow” the pics of a perfect, jawdropping, stunning beauty and not those! LOL

    • Josh says:

      I am not concerned about your looks either…the photos you sent me are beautiful. I wrote the above to show the lack of logic in @FunDude’s repetition of fat, old, ugly, etc., without first gathering the facts.

      By saying “I’ve never seen a picture of Elaine but I’ll take your word for it” @IHF2030 was smart about it from the logical point of view. 😉

    • FunDude says:

      Unless I see her pics, I can’t make that determination.

      Your opinion of women hasn’t been exactly accurate in the past for me. I don’t find some of the women you like attractive.

      • Elaine says:

        gust 7, 2015 at 12:14 am

        You don’t have to rely on Josh’ (or others blog SDs who have seen me), opinions about my looks.

        Because, you know, it is not important.
        I am very successful in sugar, have never been one moment without an SD, who all find themselves back in the highest income and net worth groups, age 40 to 55, attractive. (not old, not bald, not fat)

        So, unless they are all halfblind, in urgent need of a pair of glasses and you happen to be an oculist, why care?

        Important is what THEY think about my looks, not some hidebound country doctor in a Toyota Camry. 🙂

        Cheers x

    • Josh says:

      That’s indeed a fair statement @FunDude. I like all kinds of women. 😉

  101. Josh says:


    “The guys who have 100 million always, ALWAYS, have a story about an insane ex-girlfriend who abused them. I think they just want someone to stir up their boring and predictable life…”

    Must be true as it comes from blog’s resident HPWT (Have Pussy Will Travel) expert.

  102. Reb. says:

    I am talking to a potential SD. He actually met my sister many years ago from the site. He doesn’t know. O_o

  103. flyR says:

    Cryptic – greatest improvement for the blog would be an ignore poster button that would work across various aliases. That failing perhaps a daily and weekly limit 5 / 25

  104. lovelynyours says:

    I am convinced more than ever that despite what they may say, many wealthy men prefer crazy women.

    I spent a couple days out of town with a pot SD, who has been hung up on a previous SB with alleged bipolar tendencies, huge insecurity issues, and who has been SD shopping since he’s not willing to move her and her 2 kids into his house to take care of them entirely. He doesn’t seem to want to recognize it, but she strings him along, drops him when another SD comes along, and then texts him a month later to tell him how she fucked up and wants him back. He claims she’s emotionally unstable, but my opinion is that so is he.

    Who else decides they want an arrangement, sends an allowance, flies a woman in, reads and responds to frantic texts from his crazy SB half the time, then tells her the last eve he’s not ready to get back into the sugar bowl after all? Again?

    Typically I’d offer to return the allowance, but this is now the second time he’s pulled the trigger and then changed his mind when his ex tries to get him back – dude’s gotta learn sometime that he can’t yank people around just because he isn’t strong enough to refuse to get yanked around himself.

    Lesson: when you get the indication an SD isn’t over his last SB, run – don’t walk – in the opposite direction.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      From the glimpses of your personality that I’ve seen on the blog I must admit I’m surprised you gave him a second chance. You seemed like a no nonsense type of person.

      • lovelynyours says:

        The first time he changed his mind, he didn’t give me any info that gave me the impression there was this ex SB influencing his decision-making – he’d framed it as though he was just hesitant about being an SD again. When he’d circled back to me and said he was game to move forward, it didn’t seem like he was waffling as much as it sounded like he’d come to a strong decision. So I figured, why not – I liked him and we meshed well. There wasn’t as much nonsense to it at that time, from my perspective. It was only the second time that I saw there was a lot more to this than I’d realized before.

        The first time gave me a red flag, but at the time it wasn’t glaring enough to ask a lot of questions. :/

      • lovelynyours says:

        He did mention her name often when we first started talking – it gave me the sense that he still liked her, but the connection between her and his decision the first time around hadn’t clicked for some reason, and he didn’t cite her as the reason at all. Lessons learned, I suppose.

    • SouthernSB says:

      It’s because bipolar people are fun and exciting when they are not totally off the wall and threatening to kill themselves and everyone around them. Not only that, they are killer in the sack and will follow you to the ends of the earth just on a whim. Bipolar people are the definition of drama and some people get off on drama.

      • lovelynyours says:

        You’re right, Southern. Honestly, I think there are people who get off on drama, and others who hate it but will let crazy people sink their claws into them anyway if the sex is great. I think he’s a part of the latter group. Either way, I value my sanity enough to steer clear once it’s apparent that there’s more b.s. present than I’m willing to associate with, regardless of the sex or chemistry.

      • Atlantabebe says:

        I 100% agree. One of my best friends from college was diagnosed as bipolar in her 30’s and that describes her pretty well.

    • Reb. says:

      It totally is true. The richer the SD, the crazier the stories get. The guys who have 100 million always, ALWAYS, have a story about an insane ex-girlfriend who abused them. I think they just want someone to stir up their boring and predictable life, so they get someone unstable so they can view themselves as so ~sane and mature~.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Agreed. What looks like a fun-filled, spontaneous, adventurous breath of fresh air in a hot, tight package turns into a bipolar, crazy, needy, thoughtless mess of a person. Some guys can pull away, some can’t or don’t really want to. My ideal man: the guy who can sense crazy coming from a mile away and is intelligent enough to steer clear to begin with.

        I’m starting to wonder, though, if the most successful people in sugar are the crazy ones. It certainly seems to attract a disproportionate number of them, and they seem to stay while the sane, quality ones head for the hills or always have one foot out the door when it comes to the sugar bowl.

      • Reb. says:

        Lovely: That’s why I prefer dating guys 50+ on SA. They typically are too burned out to want to deal with a girl who is unstable. Although, there are exceptions.

    • Sunshine says:

      I think many guys are attracted to the idea of having a fun woman to hang out with. However if they’re too nice and accommodating then they get bored. The crazy ones have a way of making sure they don’t get bored without ever reflecting that they’re not interested in the SD or becoming distant from him (which would make him drop her instantly). Instead the SD can put it down to her craziness. I’m starting to understand why Josh promotes “actresses” – if they don’t feel it then they can act however they need to keep the arrangement working and don’t care if it crashes and burns as there will always be another willing victim :/.

    • Finesse says:

      many men like crazy women, the same way many women like jerks. It’s exciting and the sex is often blow-your-mind good.

  105. FlyBoy says:

    I came across this under the definition of otaku in the Urban Dictionary:

    In the Western culture, people confuse otaku to be something positive like “Guru”. If you think about it, it’s not really good to be called a guru if it means you are a total loser who can’t socialize with other people except through the Internet.


    Cheers 🙂

  106. Josh says:

    Re: Superficial?

    Why do people call going by photos a “superficial” thing to do? There is nothing superficial about it. So stop calling it a superficial thing to do.

  107. Josh says:

    However, if there is a myth, which has been fed to men, is that women are interested in men as men are interested in women. They are NOT.

    Men are interested in women and women are interested in men’s resources. Look at the marriage vows of the people who have more stable marriages compared to the Western people. Hindus, Jewish and Muslims have sensible vows…I especially like the Jewish one…short and sweet. 😉


    • Mami says:

      @Josh couples have the option to write their own vows and read them to each other, you do not have to have traditional ones and in the US guys have the option of a prenup.

    • Josh says:

      Prenups are possible pretty much anywhere in the world.

      What percentage of about to be married couples sign prenups today?

      How many women would go for a prenup to start off with, on the grounds of “don’t you love me?”

      How many would call off the marriage if the man insisted on one?

      I a prenup read something like: If we are divorced, you go your way, I go mine, and don’t hassle me for alimony?

    • Josh says:

      This is the conventional “wisdom” related to prenups: [http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/03/21/the-power-of-the-prenup/if-you-want-a-prenup-you-dont-want-marriage]

      Marriage is a CONTRACT and NOT “legalize love” as it is promoted.

      • Anonymous says:

        If you had a significant amount of money, you would know that prenups are common place. Luckily, when I got married I did have one. But since you are a troll, you wouldn’t know anything about that.

      • gentleman soul says:

        Since the Divorce rate for 1st marriages is 56% ,a wealthy person would be foolish to take a 50% risk of losing 50% of his net worth plus alimony from a 1 hour ceremony and the stroke of a pen .

      • gentleman soul says:

        Always marry up and you will be OK no matter what

      • THEATLSD says:

        @Gentleman Soul
        That’s what my Dad told me to do. I didn’t listen.

      • FunDude says:

        Prenups are essential. Fuck “romance”. You are signing a legal contract when you marry.

      • Atlantabebe says:

        Prenups can protect both people. If both retain their own lawyers and can figure out an “exit plan” while they are still in love and want the best for each other, why not? The alternative is to spend tens of thousands of dollars each fighting it out with lawyers if things go South later.

    • Sunshine says:

      If you follow the biological line of reasoning men are interested in the prettiest, fertile woman who can carry their offspring. Men are very focused on the looks of the woman – personality doesn’t really play much of a role unless there is no sexual attraction.

      Same reasoning says that women are interested in men with resources as they can adequately provide for any children they might help create.

      Personally I disagree with this theory as it overgeneralizes and is a caricature of human relations. However some people are very strong proponents of this idea.

    • Josh says:


      My focus typically is empirical analysis of what is…and if you see a “what aught to be” in my posts then that is stemming from my observations of what is and not necessarily from widely held beliefs about male-female dynamics in the animal kingdom. 😉

      • Sunshine says:

        Fair enough.

        Still think though that men will put up with a lot of shit from a beautiful woman ;).

  108. Traveling Man says:

    What the heck is this blog now? Circular argument firing squad? Adult day care? Sure not about knowledge exchange any more!

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      @traveling – there is a cycle to this blog…it is unfortunate we’ve come to the point in the cycle where the crazies are prevalent. Give it a day or two and we will be back to more productive activities.

  109. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Josh – All been passed on.

  110. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Josh- I have mentioned Sugar Monkey to Jeff in the past. I am not sure how often he reads this blog. Would you like me to via direct copy and paste pass your concerns on to him?

    • Anonymous says:

      Can u please report this post as well? I do not think referring to women as three holes on legs is following blog content.


      • crypticanomaly says:

        I deleted it and I edited your post as well of the offending phrase. Nothing against you just so it’s not perpetuated really.

        There was nothing wrong with the post aside from the insult. It didn’t add anything to what I thought was an interesting point myself.

    • Josh says:


      Please do whatever is necessary. As I said before, I don’t even respond to this “sugar baby monkey” character to start off with. Therefore, no one can claim that I have said anything to her ever, and she just crossed all limits with rape, sodomy, herpes, etc.

      Be that as it may, as far as I am concerned:

      @FlyBoy = @Catcher 22 = @sugar baby monkey.

  111. Josh says:


    If you look at the blog history you will notice that I pretty much ignore @sugar baby monkey’s posts, even when she directly addresses me.

    However, you will notice that of late, she has started accusing me of utterly repulsive crimes. Please take note and put a stop to her bizarre posts, which clearly violate blog content policies.

    Thank you!!!

    • BanannasinmybumGuru says:

      Fair is fair of course since I, Josh, have NEVER ever violated blog content policy. I mean never ever. I am innocent as the monkey’s banana.

    • Josh says:

      You are right monkey. I have called women whores, cunts and fat feminists so many times on here that I have lost count. And that is just the beginning of my blog content violations. All the men who disagree with me are really women. So it is all good. This spake the guru of content blog violations.

    • Josh says:


      As you can see, this despicable character is now posting under my blog moniker “Josh”. Please take note and put a stop to this…


    • sugar baby monkey says:

      @Josh. That was the FAKE sugar baby monkey making nasty insults. The REAL genuine sugar baby monkey loves and respects his JoshGuru. And love and appreciate the banana you bring to our meets. That @Olives jerk offered me 300 bananas per meet, but monkey stay 100 percent faithful to my sweetie Josh 🙂

  112. Josh says:


    “When you write shit like most SBs on SA are escorts or ugly”

    Prove it or retract.

    “Second, my SB didn’t self sabotage anything! She became emotionally attached which caused me to move on.”

    Go read the definition of sabotage and come back.

    “What I wrote about is not self sabotage…”

    If you know what “sabotage” means then you would know that what you described IS sabotage of the arrangement. If you took her offer and made the relationship more “regular” she would sabotage that phase. If you went further and made her your wife, she will sabotage the marriage.

    “but how cheap women have become, least of all in their own mind. That she thinks the allowance given to her is strange even when she is dating a rich man.”

    Whether she or women have become “cheap” is in your fucking head. Women have not “become” anything. That’s the way women have been for eons. Patriarchy, religion, culture, etc., keep women’s sabotage under check. Feminism provides easy access to sabotage. That’s the difference, genius!!!

    • FlyBoy says:

      “Prove it or retract.”

      You are a coward who posts under many usernames; to demand that you be treated like a gentleman is laughable. You said all these things and more and you KNOW it.

      I know exactly the meaning of “sabotage”. But if you consider a woman becoming emotionally attached after a great relationship that lasted many months to be “self sabotage” then you are one weird cat.

      Cheers 🙂

    • Josh says:

      “You are a coward who posts under many usernames; to demand that you be treated like a gentleman is laughable. You said all these things and more and you KNOW it.”

      When you start writing like a man, I will start addressing you as a man.

  113. Josh says:

    If I were to guess then @FlyGirl = @Catcher 22 = @sugar baby monkey

  114. Briaa_20 says:

    I’m not sure if my profile is good or not . i feel I’m too young for some of them and they may want someone whose at least 21.

    • Traveling Man says:

      It’s not bad Briaa, you seem cute and sincere, which is good, you might be a little more enticing about what kind of guy and relationship you are looking for, don’t need a laundry list, but a bit sexy, if you feel it. You could have a another nice full body shot in your favorite hot dress, maybe it would replace the one with purple hair? good luck

    • gentleman soul says:

      “Someone whose always up for an adventure but also down to lay in bed all day too .” Now this is appealing to me !! Your age is not a factor for many of us .

  115. FlyBoy says:

    To Elain;

    The ones who want you to give it up without them reciprocating are the ones who think you are cheap. I don’t know if my SB felt cheap or not? The statements you cited were my own thoughts not facts.

    I am a traditionalist; as one I think both a lady and a whore have value as women. They merely inhabit different spheres. One is courted and married, the other is fucked and forgotten. Both benefit financially according to the wealth of the man.

    Just because a degenerate culture says to women, it’s ok to explore your sexuality dose not change the fact that if they do, they are whoring, plane and simple.

    Now just because I think a carousel rider is a whore does not give me a licence to be abusive toward her. Abuse stems from weakness and insecurity on the part of the abuser and I am anything but.

    Finally, yes Elaine men and women are different. To prove it to you, answer this question:

    Man A (100 notches) A cad playing the field.
    Man B (1 notch) Hasn’t had sex in a while.

    If the truth about A&B was known to all, who do you think women will go for?

    I don’t need to reverse the question to prove to you that a virgin is far more valuable than rider to men, or do I?

    Cheers 🙂

  116. FunDude says:


    Why is an older, feminist woman such as yourself who is clearly very sexually “experienced” and probably overweight on a sugar dating website?

    Shouldn’t such wonderful independent women be out at NOW meeting or something?

    • Elaine says:


      I am NOT overweight, in fact I have a killerbody with the right curves and endless long legs.

      Yes I consider myself a feminist, if that means the same rights for both sexes.
      But if you would have read some of my past posts, you would know I am not at all a feminist the way you in the US think all feminists are.
      I don’t have to demonisate men. Women in my country are smarter and more sophisticated as your average US feminists and know how to use their feminility to reach their goals 🙂

      And people who need to belittle others to feel strong themselves are insecure beings themselves anyway.
      I don’t do insecurity.

      I have no idea what NOW meeting is.
      I am on SA because years ago I decided to be done with traditional relationships and made the choice to be a courtesan, “kept” by suitors.

      The same suitors that are now helping me to build my own financially independent future.

      • FunDude says:

        A “feminist” that needs men’s money on a sugar dating website lol

        Got to love the logic of these “feminists”

      • Elaine says:


        Difficult eh?

        Actually R E A D I N G a post, before posting your ignorant and predictable reactions?

        You sound like a broken record BoringDude!

    • rembodler says:

      Elaine is a blog character, like most of us. As such, she can be whatever she wants.

      With a possible exception of a FlyBoy, I really try to accept blog characters for what they say they are, as we should.

      • Elaine says:


        Well talk for yourself, maybe you are a blog character, but I am real.
        Some other bloggers know more about me, seen my profile and they can also confirm how I look.
        If you would know my looks and understand from my posts how I treat my benefactors, you would also understand that I don’t have to make ANY story up.
        I am succesful in sugar.

        So I talk about sugar from my own thoughts and experiences.
        This blog is the only blog I ever read and participate to, because it covers a part of my life I cannot share with others.
        Isn’t that what this blog should be?
        A place to share experiences and ask for advice when needed?

        So why the hell would I make up things for people that are for the biggest part unknown to me?

        That is just illogic.

      • SouthernSB says:

        rem-I can guarantee you that Elaine is real. I have talked to her on more than one occasion and she has helped me when I was going through a hard time. Elaine is one of the few real people left on this blog. Everyone else has either left or has been forced off as quote “fantasy” writers. I’ve been on this blog for the last 2 years and I’ve seen them come and seen them go, and believe me I’ve seen who is real and who isn’t, and Elaine is totally and completely a real person. Take my word for it.

    • Josh says:

      By calling a woman fat without knowing her physique you shoot yourself on the foot. Feminist and fat are not synonymous, and every woman who goes against you is not automatically fat either. 😉

      • IHF2030 says:

        The vast majority of hardcore feminists are physically unattractive.

      • Josh says:

        That may be true but @Elaine is neither fat nor unattractive. Therefore, it is better to argue with her on the merit or lack of merit of her arguments instead of going ad hominem.

      • IHF2030 says:

        I’ve never seen a picture of Elaine but I’ll take your word for it.

      • Elaine says:

        And Elaine is not a hardcore feminist either. 🙂

        Thinking women should have the SAME rights as men (not more, not less!) , is hardly to name “hardcore” feminism, isn’t it?

        Men and women are different, and it is useless to deny that.
        Better use it to our advantage.

      • FunDude says:

        Most feminists are fat and/or unattractive.

        Stop being a mangina. You are sounding like flygirl.

      • Elaine says:


        If you are indeed a MD, -listen well; I said IF!- , I really hope for your patients you are less short-sighted in your daily work diagnosis as you appear to be on blog!

        You’re vocabulaire doesn’ t seem to stretch any further as : “Fat”, “Old”, or “Feminist”.

        And you seem to continuously utter these words without having ANY idea about who or what you are talking, or who that person really is.

        Poor patients….
        With such obvious lack of intelligence and empathy, I find it hard to believe you have passed your exams, you must have won your doctors licence at a fair….

      • FunDude says:


        I don’t take Josh’s opinion on women seriously. There have been a few unattractive/average women he called “hot” before.

        I would have to see her pic


        Nice shaming language lol

        I assure you I had top MCAT scores and board scores.

      • Elaine says:


        You don’t have to rely on Josh’ (or others blog SDs who have seen me), opinions about my looks.

        Because, you know, it is not important.
        I am very successful in sugar, have never been one moment without an SD, who all find themselves back in the highest income and net worth groups, age 40 to 55, attractive. (not old, not bald, not fat)

        So, unless they are all halfblind, in urgent need of a pair of glasses and you happen to be an oculist, why care?

        Important is what THEY think about my looks, not some hidebound country doctor in a Toyota Camry. 🙂

        Cheers x

  117. FunDude says:

    Red Pill Philosophy dropping knowledge about FAT WOMEN:


  118. Elaine says:

    “What I wrote about is not self sabotage, but how cheap women have become, least of all in their own mind.”

    “A woman who has been whoring herself to every tom, dick, and harry for a song”

    “Maybe it has to do with her feeling ashamed of whoring with losers”

    “she knows deep down that she is nothing but a dirty whore”

    “Modern women are self cleaning fuck dolls”


    Uhmmm,.. in WHO’S mind exactly women have become cheap you said?

    And if she feels cheap, could that have to do with the way some men, with obviously more money as brains, classify us maybe?

    • Elaine says:

      Ah, and maybe this is the right moment to ask if someone can elaborate why a woman with sexual experience is a “whore” and a guy “a stud”?

      And why a woman should feel “ashamed” for having had sex with a lot of partners?

      If we talk about the “dick carrousel” is there also something as a “pussy carrousel” then?

      And is a man who has rode the “pussy carrousel” supposed to feel ashamed and worthless too …..

      • Sunshine says:

        Insecurity is a powerful foe for those not strong enough to fight it.

        The lovely truth is that unless you have a sexuality transmitted condition it doesn’t matter how many partners you’ve had. Of course if you’re insecure then you’re going to be afraid that they won’t be satisfied.

        Dividing women into whores and God’s police makes perfect sense. God’s police will tear apart any woman who has experience, not realising that they’re losing out on a valuable source of knowledge about the raw deal that they’re getting.

        Some men are afraid of a woman’s sexuality and perhaps rightly so – it isn’t something they can control no matter how hard they try and yet it entices then and drives them wild. So they try to get the benefits of it while at the same time shaming it.

        Mostly though if you’re comfortable then why would you want to deal with a clingy, insecure guy? Far better a man who knows what he wants and doesnt have to cast judgements to lower others enough that he’s finally tall enough to ride.

    • mami says:

      @Elaine I could not agree more. Women who have been made to feel cheap have lowered their expectations and self worth because men believe they are a disposable and replaceable the more they are rejected or are dumped the more likely they are to gain a complex from men who feel they are entitled to their bodies for a mere wage. If that were the case then it is just as easy to pay a hooker. Men who prefer women without respect for who they are always sell themselves below market price.

      • Elaine says:

        Gosh, it is really not hard to understand why some men here need a site as SA to be able to find someone who supports their bad attitude.
        (only in return for money that is)

        “self cleaning sexdolls”
        “three holes on two legs”

        Really nice samples of manhood…..

      • IHF2030 says:

        And, it is little wonder that some women on here seek out hard-up, desperate fat/bald/married/elderly men who happily throw good money at less than high-quality sugarbabies.

      • Elaine says:


        Maybe because the high quality SBs can be picky and don’t have to be in arrangements with desperate fat/bald/elderly men? LOL

        PS. Nothing personal if you are desperate / fat / bald or elderly yourself! 😉

      • IHF2030 says:

        Married men tend to be especially hard-up as well. But, I am certain you know that better than I.

    • Elaine says:

      A quality mistress is courted and fucked by the man who’s wife is married and forgotten. 🙂

  119. mami says:

    There are dynamics within a hierarchy that not very many people would understand. Humans have a dire need to love and be loved. Woman are very sensual by nature and always in search of what satisfies them. If a man is wealthy,powerful,attractive and dominate he is at the top of all the male hierarchy. Congrats to you, if he is funneled through society most will not make the cut. Women are not at the top of the hierarchy in the United States at least because we live in a very patriarchal society ,where woman are viewed as a less than when it comes to the societal power. I am not a feminist , I am a traditional woman but modern in the fact that I take pride in being educated and a conservative woman. This is a non conventional arrangement. The sugar world is full of expectation and when there is a miscommunication between sd/sb just like with any traditional relationship there will be problems. Of course if there is chemistry a woman or man will feel something but in this world ,you have to have thick skin if not ,you as a sb will not last .

    • gentleman soul says:

      “Women are not at the top of the hierarchy”
      About 51 percent, or $14 trillion, of American personal wealth is now controlled by women, according to the Bank of Montreal’s Wealth Institute.

      I beg to differ. Women are increasingly successful in their own right ,but are inheriting and divorcing more wealth than ever.
      The value of the Wal-Mart shares she inherited has increased during the year, … The second richest American woman is Christy Walton’-for example

  120. Josh says:

    The power of an idea is validated when sworn detractors repeat the idea in their own words. It takes intellectual honesty to acknowledge others’ ideas.

    The height of dishonesty is to diss the idea at the beggining of one’s write-up and then to present the very idea as a brand new discovery later on in the write-up.

    • FlyBoy says:

      First, I have never said you were wrong about women sabotaging themselves. When you write shit like most SBs on SA are escorts or ugly or or or … Yes, I called on your boring bullshit.

      Second, my SB didn’t self sabotage anything! She became emotionally attached which caused me to move on. This was expected and is very normal. You can’t string a girl for ever, no matter who you are.

      What I wrote about is not self sabotage, but how cheap women have become, least of all in their own mind. That she thinks the allowance given to her is strange even when she is dating a rich man.

      Cheers 🙂

      • Catcher 22 says:

        @FlyBoy: Dear Mr Dream SD. Regardless of your professed wealth, generosity, wit, physical perfection, etc. etc, ad nauseum, what it all boils down to is that you are a sickly cynical and absurdly egotistical caricature of a human being, who gets high on using and dumping young women unsophisticated enough to fall for your bullshit. You are the Cosby of SA, substituting professed wealth for quaaludes. Trump on steroids.

        Please do the blog a big favor. Fly Away Home.

        Cheers 🙂

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Catcher you were really proud of this comment weren’t you.. enough to post it three separate times

      • Catcher 22 says:

        @Jay. No, pride nothing to do with it. Took three times to get it placed properly in the related thread. Sorry

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Catcher No need to apologize I was being a smart ass:-)) I’m well aware of your issues with posting comments to the right threads in this format.

  121. Josh says:


    “I am a dream SD. Mid forties, wealthy and naturally generous with everyone I deal with. I have a cheerful personalty with no insecurities and a playful witty sense of humor. I speak fluent English with a sexy (I am told lol) foreign accent. I am athletically built due to my active lifestyle, cycling, polo etc. I am very clean (shower after #2 lol), perfumed and dressed classically, custom fitted suits, no tie, pocket square, leather shoes .. etc.”


    That’s merely the male persona you have tried to project, sweetheart.

    • FlyBoy says:

      It seems Josh has a mental illness that makes him think everyone is a woman out to mind fuck him.

      Bless his heart 🙂

      • sugar baby monkey says:

        I didn’t want to see his reproductive organ but, he forced me. It was filthy. And he told me “I always attack to @FlyTheMan because i’m jealous of him!”

        xx @FlyBoyTheMan

    • Josh says:

      When you stop writing like a woman, I will stop treating you like a woman.

  122. sugar baby monkey says:

    I’m sorry because i’ve offend to this delicate rose petal called Mr. Moderator.

  123. sugar baby monkey says:

    Who deleted my post? MAN YOU SHOULD GET A LIFE!

    • yougottabekiddingme says:

      Your post was a bit much, Sugar Baby Monkey. You should probably keep your rape allegation humor to a minimum. Better yet, to yourself. It’s one thing to present an objective comment. There was nothing informative, objective or even humorous about that post.

      The thing is, the subject you were referencing, as it was presented to the blog, was actually a good learning opportunity. Unfortunately, it seems that most missed the point, and undermined the intention.

      I would be glad to engage and shed some light on the subject, if you or anyone else would care to perhaps gain some perspective.

      • sugar baby monkey says:

        I wasn’t being explicit. Other members tell more explicit words than mine, despite of that, someone is always deleting my posts, that’s because i’m the hated monkey of the blog.

  124. FlyBoy says:

    Although we have CrazyAndProxies posting 24/7 mainly boring repetitive complaints about SBs, none of them ring true or even convey familiarity with SBs or women in general for that matter.

    Be that as it may, I have seen a side to modern SB/women I don’t like. But first let me give you a little background. I am a dream SD. Mid forties, wealthy and naturally generous with everyone I deal with. I have a cheerful personalty with no insecurities and a playful witty sense of humor. I speak fluent English with a sexy (I am told lol) foreign accent. I am athletically built due to my active lifestyle, cycling, polo etc. I am very clean (shower after #2 lol), perfumed and dressed classically, custom fitted suits, no tie, pocket square, leather shoes .. etc.

    If what I say is true, then SBs would be all over me? And they most certainly are. That is not the problem. The problem surfaces after a while. When I get a new SB, I make sure that money (or sex for that matter) is never discussed. My allowance, 5k/month (small city USA) is large enough for all the SBs in the area. Furthermore the manner I give it is direct and connected to something other than the relationship, i.e. here is an Amex card; get some cold weather clothing because we are going to Aspen next week. This way her hamster can rationalize it with ease.

    The problem surfaces when the SB herself reintroduces money into the relationship. Usually it happens after a few months together. Out of the blue she would say, I don’t want money, I just want to be with you. I would never have done this with anyone else no matter how much money they offered me. These and many similar statements by ALL the SB I had, convey a psychological fatigue with sugar. Verily, this is very strange behavior.

    Here is my analysis of this strange phenomena. I think modern women are no longer suitable for any traditional relationship, whether it is marriage or sugar. A woman who has been whoring herself to every tom, dick, and harry for a song can not suddenly think of herself as valuable and worthy. So she starts the relationship thinking you must be a loser, or a freak or something, otherwise why are you giving money to her. After time when she discovers you are most definitely not a loser or a freak, a sense of ‘resentment’ takes hold. Maybe it has to do with her feeling ashamed of whoring with losers when she could have been with someone like you. Maybe it is the fact that you are valuing her when she knows deep down that she is nothing but a dirty whore. Who knows, but the phenomena is real.

    When godless communists took over Russia, they wanted to turn women into public utilities. They failed. Fast forward a 100 years and their progeny, the cultural Marxists with their poisons of feminism, sodomy and the rest, have manged to complete the task. Modern women are self cleaning fuck dolls, no more, no less. Any attempt at off label usage, especially traditional usage such as marriage and sugar should avoided for it is doomed to fail.

    Therefore, I am starting to think that long term relationships with modern women are futile. So, in the bowl, I’ll keep the grand date, first class all the way, add a substantial gift, i.e. a Carter gold bracelet or equivalent, and move on the next day.

    10 Game.
    20 Pump.
    30 Dump.
    40 Goto 10.

    Cheers 🙂

    • Elaine says:


      Doesn’t it comes up in your mind that she might be developing feelings for you?
      Or at least she THINKS she does?

      Women tend to get attached if a good looking man, she is having good sex with, and who introduces her to a “dream” lifestyle she had never experienced before, and knows will be hard to find again in future.

      So she might try to turn the sugar in a “normal” relationship by refraining from allowance.
      Thinking that will trigger you to promote her from SB to GF, or even “Wife”.

      Just my 2 cents….

      • FlyBoy says:

        I totally understand that she is becoming emotionally attached, that is why I am moving to very short term interaction to minimize the damage.

        What I don’t understand is what does the allowance have to do it. Don’t rich boyfriends/husbands give their girlfriend/wife allowance?

        Cheers 🙂

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        I was thinking that as well @Elaine…but I also think that’s @FlyBoy’s point…why try to change something that’s working? If you’re enjoying the lifestyle and he’s never complained about the balance on the AmEx, why rock the boat, continue to get the perks (including the sex) and just live the life…

    • AffairOfTheHeart says:

      “Modern women are self cleaning fuck dolls, no more, no less.”

      You are, indeed, a true gem of a man.

    • Josh says:

      This fucking idiot disses the Guru…then wastes countless words to say what the Guru has said months ago…women are proactive sabotage machines of their situation with men. It does not matter how good you treat them…they will sabotage for a variety of reasons.

      The man with the best sabotage management skils wins. That’s all.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Josh – that’s the thing with reading this lengthy post…it DID sound a lot like “I wish they would just quit sabotaging things” and I actually laughed thinking for as much as he disrespects you, he’s sounding a LOT like you here!

    • gentleman soul says:

      Whaaaa? Long story short Elaine is right . How many years separate you and your SB ? I can see where a young girl would fall for the lifestyle and want to make you hers permanently .Just curious -why do you massively overpay ? You could get the same SBs in “small town” USA probably for 50% or less -plus all your gallivanting around benes,and she would still be making out like a bandit . . Are you a benefactor ? Or do you pay $200K for a $100K Mercedes ? Is that a mindset ? I just don’t get it . But lucky SBs

      • Elaine says:


        Doesn’t even have to do with age gap, or age in general.
        It has happened to me too, and I am no unexperienced spring chicken.

        It is hard for most women to not get attached to a man she spends a lot of time with, who is attractive, she has sex with, and who offers her a great lifestyle.

        Maybe I handled it better because of my age and experience, and because I never desired to be his “Wife” or dreamed about having his children.

        But a few times it hurted as hard inside.

        Only advice I can give to SDs is : keep a certain distance, don’t get emotional involved yourself and be crystal clear from the beginning!

        For me the arrangements where those limits were applied from day one, were the longest lasting and no hurt feelings when it came to an end.

      • gentleman soul says:

        well said . But there is an age range that makes it unlikely to happen . I am 60+ looking 50 but at 40 I looked 30 ,so a 20 something year old could relate as “in the R zone” Now not so much . My realistic IRL age range in SugarVille would be 35 +

        When you are attached too someone of whatever age it pulls the heartstrings to see them go .

    • Catcher 22 says:

      @FlyBoy: Dear Mr Dream SD. Regardless of your professed wealth, generosity, wit, physical perfection, etc. etc, ad nauseum, what it all boils down to is that you are a sickly cynical and absurdly egotistical caricature of a human being, who gets high on using and dumping young women unsophisticated enough to fall for your bullshit. You are the Cosby of SA, substituting professed wealth for quaaludes Trump on steroids.
      Please do the blog a big favor. Fly Away Home.

    • Catcher 22 says:

      @FlyBoy: Dear Mr Dream SD. Regardless of your professed wealth, generosity, wit, physical perfection, etc. etc, ad nauseum, what it all boils down to is that you are a sickly cynical and absurdly egotistical caricature of a human being, who gets high on using and dumping young women unsophisticated enough to fall for your bullshit. You are the Cosby of SA, substituting professed wealth for quaaludes Trump on steroids.

      Please do the blog a big favor. Fly Away Home.


    • IHF2030 says:

      Yup, time to break out the Guinness and cashews.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      That’s so selfish if your feeling change keep it to yourself and continue with the relationship. If you feel that you need more end it but don’t try to guilt or manipulate me into something you know I wasn’t looking for from the beginning. Your new emotions are your issue you deal with them. You probably should do short term Flyboy 2-3 months then move on.

  125. Anonymous says:

    How do I navigate to all the available blogs on here please

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      In the footer of the page is a link “Our Blog” that page will list a brief description of all past posts…Another option is, just below the blog post on this page there are “Next” and “Previous” links to go post by post in chronological order…a third option would be to click on any of the “Recommended” links that are just above this comment section on this post…a fourth option would be to navigate through the “Top Picks” that can be found under the “Recent Comments” on the right sidebar of this blog post…does that give you enough options to find a past post? Did you have a specific topic you were looking for, I could always find it and post a link here for you?

  126. gentleman soul says:

    A question for the ladies :
    What do you think about sex with an SD you are about to enter into an arrangement with ? Do you:
    1) assume it is a given from the start ?
    2) maybe on a case by case basis ?
    3) Yes but only after a certain number of dates, or
    4) is it not an option ?

  127. NY Cutie Pie says:

    I’ve been totally uncessfull with these SDs and whenever one does come up they immediately talk to me about sex.
    Can someone view my profile and tell me why I’m doing wrong, I just need someone’s opinion
    I would very much appreciate it!!!!

    • gentleman soul says:

      Sex is the universal Sugar language Cutie Pie. Do you not plan on sex with your SD ? Guys generally like to get that out of the way up front or there is no point in wasting time since most of us desire that as a given. Take the quiz above. The answer will determine how feasible it is that you will land an SD.

      There is nothing dramatically wrong with your profile . I would suggest a full length pic of you in either/or a LBD and heels /bathing suit of choice. My needs for a profile are not as exacting as some guys on this site . Basically I want to see what you look like ,hear that you can put several sentences together ,and are available to do things that I want to do with you . I see that you are in school,and are busy but want to experience NY stuff, but I would like to see that you are down with snuggling together having a nice quiet evening at home. Because that last point is what I would want to do with you . And what’s up with the “I wont bite” comment ? A lot of girls put that -lose it unless you are talking about playing at home together.

      • NY Cutie Pie says:

        Alright I see what you mean lol. Thanks for the advice! I really needed that shot of reality

    • AffairOfTheHeart says:

      Hi NY Cutie Pie! Just wanted to add some SB perspective: I personally DON’T REPLY to any SD who brings up sex in a way that makes me feel bad, and I also don’t answer questions like “well for that allowance, will I definitely get to have sex with you?” Just block those people!

      I also would NEVER agree to an SD who wants a “test-drive” (ugh, that term). If I like someone, I will kiss them quite freely (I love to kiss!) and anyone can tell from my kiss that I’m a sensual and passionate person. I also have a few lines in my profile that DELICATELY IMPLY that I like sex a lot, without saying that directly.

      I took a look at your profile (my SD lets me use his account) and if I personally were looking for a threesome partner (as I sometimes am) I would steer clear of your profile because in your pictures you look like a normal 19-year-old girl which makes ME feel like I’d be a jerk and a predator for trying to make out with you!! I’d invest some time in taking some pictures that look a little more glamorous and mature. (choose a dark background instead of just your bedroom, pick a sophisticated pose, etc.) You have such a great fresh natural look, I don’t think there’s any risk of you

      • AffairOfTheHeart says:

        whoops, pressed send too early–I was just saying i don’t think there’s a risk of you looking TOOOOO airbrushed and commodofied (some guys don’t like that), but I’d like to see a LITTLE more polish so I don’t feel like you’re a school kid I’ve just lured into a van.

      • NY Cutie Pie says:

        Thank you very much for the advice! I see what you mean about the photo. My best friend gave me the same advice about seeing too much of my bedroom in my profile photo. I will change it very soon. Thanks again girl!

  128. FunDude says:

    Great article about women and marriage:


    Its not worth it lol

    • gentleman soul says:

      Crap ! Been there done that. Do not marry -ever ! Just enjoy the Sugar life

      • FunDude says:

        Its almost a science studying the “feminine imperative”.

        The problem is that society has no checks on this destructive behavior, which is leading to the literal financial destruction of the “beta” male nice guy who marries these women.

  129. SD says:

    What do do if this situation arises. Old/young unattractive, reserved, socially disengaged SD walks into bar or similar environment with run way model SB. All the single men quickly identify their new target as SB. The bold contestants among them openly flirt with her with non verbal ques, the women hungry out right try to project alpha status at your expense.

    The SB you are with responds favorably to the some of these advances, non verbal possibly, Indications of reciprocal interest easily understood by the anyone.


    1) Play the game – you hand has been forced. Use your best combination of tools including money as appropriate.

    2) Ditch the SB either immediately or later. You joined SA for a hassle free sexual life.

    • Lovelynyours says:

      Ditch her. Any SB worth her allowance isn’t going to positively respond to advances while the two of you are together like that. That’s disrespectful on her part and she should know better. I know I’d walk out on an SD who made advances in front of me (unless I knew we were seeking a threesome). Who has time for that game?

    • gentleman soul says:

      Depends on whether you are going to get laid or not . Ride it out ,take her home and bang her ,then move on. If she flirts in front of you she will break your heart if you fall for her . OTOH, if your intent is mainly sexual and she performs well, keep her around on retainer for in house activities . Don’t take her out to further embarrass or abuse your trust

  130. yougottabekiddingme says:

    SugarBaby Monkey…

    Not cool. Really.

  131. Pandetbaby says:

    I’m worried I’m not doing this right. Could anyone please review my profile ? Xx

    • VA Gent says:

      @Pandetbaby I think you are both interesting and attractive. Perhaps you’re young for this, but maybe not. My only critique is that you might add a pic that’s a bit warmer and more inviting. Your text is more cheery. How about a photo to compliment that.

    • THEATLSD says:

      I rarely say this. There is nothing wrong with your profile or pictures. You have a issue with patience. It shows you joined July 25. It can takes a few weeks or months to find the right person.

      • Pandetbaby says:

        Haha, might be that! But better to know before rather than later I’ve figured ^^

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Pandetbaby – @ATL is right…patience will help you win this game…it’s too bad you’re not local, we would have fun together!

        @ATL – note, Auburn 😉

    • gentleman soul says:

      I would definitely contact you if you were in my sphere. I agree an additional pic -full length scantily clad with a smile -would be helpful.

    • THEATLSD says:

      I noticed her hair. I was waiting to see if you were going respond.

      I know I broke the pact but I have a weak spot for fellow A Viking. SKOL

    • THEATLSD says:

      Something else to consider is free styling in London. I nothing of the town you are in but does not look very big. You may want to go London for a weekend. Dress your best and hang out Harrods and go for an IRL connection.

      • Pandetbaby says:

        Well, I go to uni Exeter, so don’t know how often i can get to London… but thanks for the advice ^^

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Pandetbaby – you MAY find a SD in London who enjoys the fact you’re “out of town” to him and wouldn’t mind a trip up to see you locally to continue the arrangement…don’t underestimate the power of freestyling to get to your Sugar Goals 😉

      • Pandetbaby says:

        @ALT & @ONSD

        Too bad neither of you are in my area then haha 😉

  132. FunDude says:

    Thinking about getting rid of my Mercedes CLS 63 AMG and getting a Toyota Camry. I don’t think fancy cars are worth it.

    What does everyone think?

    • Jaybird923 says:

      Go for it! With the extra money you’re saving, you can buy yourself a nice designer purse. Nothing wrong with cheaper but at least get something a little more masculine. That is such a chick car.

      • FunDude says:

        How about a black Nissan Maxima?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Not bad. Have you considered the Honda Accord EX-L. Almost exactly like the Acura TLX but it’s cheaper and faster.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Personally If I’m a single guy no kids/family I’d go for 2016 Chevy Camaro I love that car. But you seem to be looking for a sedan

    • Elaine says:

      @ Fundude

      I thought you would never ask!
      So, well, here is what I think:

      1. We couldn’t care less about what (immaginary) car you drive or not drive

      2. You are on the wrong blog. You have nothing to do with the sugarlifestyle and never in your life have been a SD.

      3. You are only here to rub in the (real) SDs are “losers having to pay for it”, while you travel the world with your (immaginary) thin, hot, blonde g.f. In the meanwhile having to keep at distance all the other hotties that want to jump upon you, for free of course!

      4. You lecture (real) SBs about their theoretical “worth”. Calling them old and “hit the wall” at age 30, and fat when wearing a size 8-10.
      But what do you know anyway?

      5. I think you are a narrowminded small town boy.

      6. You are all bluffing and bragging ; “All hat and no cattle”

      My thoughts… 🙂


      • Anonymous says:

        I don’t usually care for Elaine’s posts, but damn that was funny and spot on!

      • FunDude says:

        LOL Elaine

        You mad broette?

      • Elaine says:


        Nope, not mad at all.
        Just tired of your generalizations.

        And you offered a golden opportunity with your question.
        I couldn’t resist.
        It was stronger than me 🙂

        But thanks for being a good sport!

      • FunDude says:

        Elaine, you seem bitter about some of my comments.

        Must be hitting home.

      • Elaine says:


        No my dear, I am not bitter about your comments.
        Why would I?
        Because you think I am old? You are not even an SD!

        As long as the Daddies I am after don’t seem to think the same, I don’t really care what you think. 🙂

        Oh, and btw, who mentioned that he thought Hale Berry would be worth a
        high allowance? She is not “old”? 😉

        I just cannot stand narrow-minded and short visioned people….
        And your comments to me appear in that classification.

    • Traveling Man says:

      If the Mercedes delivers speed and power, keep it!! I go for fast and powerful cars every time. I dob’t understand any fascination with SUV’s, etc

    • gentleman soul says:

      Save your money and live frugally . I have done the top of the line Mercedes .etc and in the end I would rather have the money . Save like a madman -the power of compounding is amazing ! The only luxury I will not compromise on at this stage of life is my Sugar,but I wish I had the $120 K back from my luxury car days -cash on the barrel head

      • FunDude says:

        The only thing that is stopping the move is that:

        1) I spend almost nothing on anything else. I save approximately 50% of my income at a minimum
        2) I write the car expense off as a “business” expense through my partnership, lowering the cost by 50% since that money would’ve gone to Uncle Sam anyway

        3) With the collapsing economy, I almost feel like the govt will confiscate 401Ks and savings from the “frugal” people. Wouldn’t I be a sucker if I scrimped and saved 80% of my income and never lived it up for the govt to steal it?

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @FunDude – the govt wouldn’t confiscate the 401k/retirement plans…however…they COULD force withdrawal and remove the tax advantages, in fact, there’s already been talk about removing the pre-tax options for retirement savings vehicles, because the govt is so desperate for income.

        But, I’m also torn, because I’ll bet you’d be a lot MORE fun if you spent some of that cash 😉

      • FunDude says:


        Happened in Argentina and many other countries. They take your 401K and then give you an “equivalent” value which is basically far less.

        Or maybe they will just steal it though taxation. Might be right there as well.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        Only way I see confiscation is if the Occupy movement is elected as a majority in Congress…those elected nowadays HAVE retirement plans and savings, so they would not want their OWN plans confiscated…in today’s political landscape, someone without retirement plans and/or assets cannot hope to be elected, let alone a majority of seats occupied by that type…

        However…forced withdrawal (which would just add to taxable income), loss of tax advantage when contributing…those are things I can see happening!

  133. Sunshine says:

    Question: have any of you SDs offered to do a first meet at McDonald’s?

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Sometimes I think of a McDonald’s in terms of a land mark perhaps but I always find something better! I wouldn’t meet a woman from a normal dating site at a Macca’s let alone a SB.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Unless of course I knew she had a thing for Macca’s and lets face it those create your own burgers aren’t cheap!

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        I wouldn’t go to a regular first date at Maccas. There are cheaper healthier/more delicious options.

        I’m wondering if it’s some kind of test? I don’t care what a man drives but McDonald’s makes me sick :(.

      • Sunshine says:

        That was me. Must stop switching devices!

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      I don’t think it is a test. He probably just actually likes Macca’s. Not a great start I do agree. Even if he didn’t want to spend much a nice cafe is better than that and just as cheap.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      Here’s my take on MickeyD’s for a first meet…is there another local coffee house in the vicinity you can recommend to him?

      I’ve done searches when trying to schedule a first meet coffee in the past and there was LITERALLY nothing but McDonald’s within a 20-minute drive to her location, and she was transportation challenged.

      It’s difficult to imagine there not being a Starbucks or Tim Hortons or Dunkin Donuts or something else besides McDonald’s nearby…but…that might be all he could find to recommend.

      That’s also why I think SBs should do a little research when they’re working to schedule the first meet! You should KNOW a couple of coffee joints near you already, you should be able to research a couple of coffee joints near your pot quick enough to let him know you’re serious about the meet!

    • THEATLSD says:


      That is weird. Unless he lives in a really small town and that’s the best place to meet.

      Side note for you and Cryptic. I read a story in Australian business chronicle. There is a restaurant in Youngberra (spelling?) that banned kids under 7. Their business tripled after they implemented the policy.

      • Sunshine says:

        That sounds like an amazing idea. Although most people seem to be pretty good (in hiring a babysitter) at the more SD friendly places here.

    • Sunshine says:

      That’s the thing there is always a nice cafe/pub/hotel bar around. No need to resort to McDonalds lol. There’s about a 60-80km swathe of places in which to meet however he didn’t want to meet in the major city in my area. So clearly it wasn’t going to work out.

  134. Anonymous says:

    Even though I´ve been a member of the site for well over 5 months now, I have yet to score a date with SD. Mainly due to the lack of time I´ve spent on here. I just moved to a completely different country and had to settle in to a new home, job, language, culture, etc,. I finally clicked with a guy I genuinely would like to get to know. He´s flying into the country in the near future and wants to meet up. Unfortunately he will be staying on the opposite side of the island. I am obviously on this site because I don’t have the current means to facilitate comforts… like a new car. So since I don´t have a car atm, I have no clue how I´ll get to him. I don´t want him to pick me up on the first meeting. Nor do I want to seem like I´m asking for money/accommodations off the bat. I really do just want the opportunity to at least meet and probably have drinks. But how am I supposed to get to him if I have no transportation or place to stay once I get to where he´ll be?? How do I handle this?

    • Sunshine says:

      Ask him to hire a taxi but very enough so that you have the cab fare back. Also you could meet for coffee during the day and take public transport if that’s an option?

      • Anonymous says:

        The plan is to meet up during the day.

        I have absolutely no plans of staying with him not meeting him alone at night. Isn´t that rule number one when you´re going on a first meet?

        The problem is that he is flying in and staying on the other side of the island, which is very expensive to travel to on public transportation. So I guess my question is do I ask him to pay for my way up to see him or just say it´s not convenient for me to meet? He is coming in from another country on vacation and I just don’t know how to handle the situation.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        There’s no harm in explaining the situation to him. He’ll either say, “not worth it, sorry, I’m done” or he’ll say “that’s not a problem, I’m happy to help”

      • Anonymous says:

        Ok I´ll do just that. I guess I was afraid he might think I was trying to get something out of him without even meeting him. Which that is not the case at all.

    • zito says:

      The number one most important rule is to be upfront and honest in your communications regardless of how it may be perceived, if it is not taken well, then at least you were upfront and honest, and no one can ever fault you for that

  135. Finesse says:

    Ha, I ran across this post from [http://sugar4life.tumblr.com/]. It’s hilarious, though I take issue with the first point (I thought only that hack , Isaacson, dwelt on people’s body odor). Rest is pretty amusing.

    Begin quote:
    “A list of things that you may not think about when entering the bowl but really should consider.

    He will smell. Dog shit breath. Body odor. Stinky balls. Something will smell.
    He is married even if he is single. 99% of good SDs are married. So don’t go into the bowl thinking you can get a good, single man to give you lots of money. It likely won’t happen that way. Even if they don’t come right out and say it; they are married. No ring? Married. Doesn’t talk about wife? Married. Seems to travel a lot? Married to a unlucky lady. I find that the unmarried ones tend to be the biggest womanizers, douchebags and assholes. They want a SB out of lazy-ass convenience or lack of social aptitude. Married men want a SB because they don’t get it enough at home or their marriage just isn’t working any longer OR because they do travel a lot and figure why not get some side chick action. Different area codes and such.
    He will be old. Very old. And only mildly attractive (if you are lucky). He will be from a different generation. His looks will be fading. He will have at least a few wrinkles (face, balls, legs, back, hands, wherever). There may be a 2-4 generation gap between the two of you. The hot, young, nice, good-hearted, generous types just aren’t trolling the sugar sites regularly and likely aren’t going to be actively searching for an allowance based relationship. You may score a hot, young, rich guy by freestyling but expect to work even harder to get actual money out of him and he will be a boyfriend NOT a SD.
    Body hair, everywhere. Older men tend to not be up on the grooming trends of younger men. They will have hairy chests, hairy backs, hairy butts, hairy knuckles, hairy toes, hairy ears, hairy nose holes and so much pubic hair that you won’t be able to see his balls. And don’t even think about suggesting he trim it down or shave. He can’t. His wife will wonder why he suddenly cares about his hairy balls and back. Then he will have to end the arrangement out of fear of his wife finding out.
    He has problems. And you have to listen to them. Part Most of being a sugar baby is to be his escape. If he needs to vent about work, the wifey, his kids, his latest doctor visit then you need to sit there and at least pretend to listen/care. That’s the deal.
    You get have to travel with him. I have been to some amazing places with some of my SDs. I get to see the world, stay in beautiful hotels, eat delicious local cuisine and I get paid to do all of it. The only thing that would make it better is if my SD disappeared from the equation and a cute guy appeared or my friends or my family or even a coworker I don’t really like but could still chill on a beach with. Or hell, even if I was there alone it would be better than being stuck with him 24 hours a day, for 4 or 5 days straight PLUS travel time. But I still go because, you know, money and free trips and shit.
    You aren’t allowed to have problems. Outside of gently suggesting that you don’t have money for rent or whatever, you don’t have problems. You don’t have friend drama. You don’t have coworkers you hate. You don’t have anxiety. You can only have a “problem” every once in a while and that problem better damn well be able to be fixed with money. He can fix money-based problems without batting an eye but your emotional shit needs to be checked at the door. (Note: When you have been with an SD for a substantial amount of time you can slowly share more of your non-money problems but you have to gauge how much interest he truly has in them to keep him from thinking of you as another wife-type)
    He may be very boring. The longer you are around him the less interesting he will seem. There is usually a reason he has to pay women for company.
    He may be the opposite of boring. He will have insane energy and keep you entertained but you should expect to need a day or two to recover from your energy-draining SD.
    THE MONEY WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. Starting out you think $3k/mo is enough. After a year, $5k/mo is barely enough. In a few years you will KNOW that even 100k/day isn’t really enough to put up with these guys.
    It will be a constant mental struggle between spend and save. Even those of us who save like crazy still have thoughts of “spend spend spend”. You have money. You save it. You have more money than you need to save. But if you keep saving you can buy better things later. But right now that awesome Chanel bag is calling your name. But, no, later is better. Later is a house.
    Once you really do become a SB, leaving the life forever will be difficult. Once you get into the groove, the job gets easier because you learn to deal with the negatives and quitting a lucrative, easy job is never easy. Plus, you can technically do this job forever. This can be your career. You can be a kept woman and live a fancy life forever as long as you give up a few other dreams. But right now you must work hard for it.
    Your schedule doesn’t REALLY matter. Sure, you schedule around your own activities as much as possible but when push comes to shove you WILL cancel movie night with the girls, call off work, or skip a pool party if it means you can keep your SD around longer.
    Tired? Sick? Tough shit. You still need to smile, be flirty and “enjoy” his company. I guarantee HE will show up for dates with a runny nose and a sore back because he only gets a few chances to get away from the wife and there is no way in hell he is missing play time because of the flu. Expect them to expect the same commitment from you.
    It is a full time job. I repeat, it is a FULL TIME JOB. Until you have a good number of proven/established/long-term SDs who are surpassing your minimum allowance needs and you are saving like a madwoman, then you can’t really sit back and relax. Since they can leave you at any time you have to keep going on those terrible dates and keep researching new guys. It takes a long time to truly be secure enough in current arrangements to be able to stop doing this completely. Don’t expect to be “that lucky girl” who found a sugar husband after a week of trying.
    The odds are not in your favor. My guess is for every 100 contacts you make on dating sites, 20 of them will actually turn into sugar-potential dates and only 2 of those will become POT material guys and maybe 1 of those will become an SD.
    SDs are not built to last. You went on tons of dates, did the legwork, and now are getting your desired allowance from a nice SD. IF he lasts past two months, good. IF he lasts past 4 months, great. IF he actually lasts close to or beyond a year then he really is a good SD and you can consider yourself to be truly lucky.

    Being with him will be embarrassing, like, all the time. People will stare. They will wonder if he is your lover/boss/father/grandfather. Walking to hotel rooms with him will be awkward as fuck. Every. Single. Time. Oh, and just wait until he wants to hold your hand or kiss you in public. Be prepared to be the center of unwanted attention everywhere you go.

    But if you can get past all of these things and still manage to find and lockdown a few good SDs, save your money and maintain your sanity then you will be on your way to financial freedom. It takes hard work but so do most good things in life.

    • Elaine says:


      If she ever writes a book about her sugarlife I am going to buy it.
      She is really funny, and I have to admit that, even if in a sarcastic and exaggerated way, she hit the nail on the head.

      Sugar IS hard work if you do it well!

      • Traveling Man says:

        Wow, if it is so much work Elaine, you have the wrong partners!! I have found SB’s who enjoy the money, the food, the laughs, the support, the travel and yes, the sex.
        It is quite funny to hear some ladies proclaim sex as work, that is so 1950’s!!

      • Elaine says:


        Read well!
        I said; “Sugar IS hard work, IF YOU DO IT WELL!

        I was referring to the fact that being a good SB is opposite of what most of newbie SBs seem to think; that their presence alone is worth an allowance, and that millionaires will just throw money at them because they exist.
        Just check Instagram SBs, or count the average number of the words “I” and “ME” in the average SB profile….

        Being a fantasy mistress for a very busy man means putting him in the center of your attention.
        That should not be underestimated as far as time involved, availability, being always at your best, being always ready to travel at a whim etc. etc.

        But did I somewhere mention to not like that?
        No, I fully enjoy it.
        All aspects of it, and sex especially!

    • Anonymous says:

      Sounds like someone I know. Nice piece. Thanks for sharing, Finesse.

      • yougottabekiddingme says:

        Oops…anonymous was me.

        Sounds like someone I know. Nice piece. Thanks for sharing, Finesse.

    • Traveling Man says:

      Good piece, quite cynical and joyless, though. She makes it sound like a crappy job, I would smell the acting job in her case and no wonder it only goes 2 months!

    • gentleman soul says:

      How sad and sordid . I don’t see myself that way but who knows ? Maybe my SBs have been good actresses . But then again ,I don’t have a hairy back, bad breath,obesity ,etc.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      I do find some elements of truth to what she posts, especially from some of the stories I’ve heard from SBs I’ve talked with…

      It is most important for SBs to read that it takes legwork, good search skills, filtering through communication and then actually meeting some guys to make a decision to move forward.

      I disagree that ALL men will be publicly disgusting…but there will almost certainly be an element of eyeballs on the SB when in public…I guess as long as he’s not pushing her around on his walker seat?

    • Crucian Baby says:

      @finesse That was great. WRITE A BOOK!

  136. Tall Glass of B says:

    Can anyone here take a look at my profile and tell me if there is anything I could do to attract more people?

    • IHF2030 says:

      TGB…From your profile most men will assume you are seeking a platonic relationship, only. If so, you have greatly diminished your options.

    • Traveling Man says:

      Hi, more of you in the little black dress works for me!! I didn’t take your profile text to imply platonic relationship, assume usually the discussion about being together “inside” has its special meaning, lol. Good luck, you will be great

    • sugar baby monkey says:

      Hi @Tall Glass of B I’m the monkey of the blog. My advice for you is you should change your wardrobe because your clothing looks very not sophisticated

    • FunDude says:

      Definitely fuckable.

      That is a good start.

    • Anonymous says:

      You are nice looking, but you need a picture that is a little more demure. The short tight dress and leopard print heels make you look like a street walker – a pretty one though.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        I agree the length of the dress in combination with the printed heel makes you look like a pro…didn’t get the platonic vibe, based on the “inside” phrase as someone mentioned above…good luck!

    • gentleman soul says:

      I would call you if we were in the neighborhood ! I do not get either a hooker vibe or no sex . But unlike many other bloggers ,I am looking for a fun sex buddy and not an emotional crutch and meaningful companion.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @gentleman – I’m usually not offended by your posts, but this one hit me in all the wrong ways!

        I’m one of those SDs who want MORE than just sex from a SB…I want an escape…but…that isn’t because I want a shoulder to cry on or to bitch about work/family/whatever, it’s because I want someone to help me FORGET about that shit and help me think about BETTER things…there’s no emotional crutch in that, it’s just companionship (and not always public companionship)…such a negative attack on the SD, surprised me a bit from you…

      • gentleman soul says:

        No offence intended Online. Perhaps I should have substituted Connection for crutch -that sounds better . I am bummed that my SO situation prevents me from seeking that emotional connection which I do enjoy very much . The only way I can Sugar right now is behind closed doors , and I am definitely not attracting the emotionally available girls who are willing to spend 100 % of our time in the bedroom.

  137. TrickyDick says:

    Sock it to ME!?

  138. THEATLSD says:

    Just saw your reply to me wayyyyy down below. I can’t seem to find you. Do you have the same profile pic? If you want you can view me again or favorite me. Also, I swore you had a British accent. My bad.

    @ONSD and Jay. Saw your “Pussy wagon” posts. Not going to do pink but I love the concept. I’m positive I could do wonders with the other one. I have a master plan to make a little hidden cubby hole in my new car. Has lots of foam in the trunk. 😉

  139. Josh says:


    “Rewarding sugarbabies with cash for first meetings only encourages bad behavior.”

    Most of these girls want to get the money and run. Giving them free money will surely lead them to up their demands for the real aarrangement, at best, and never show up, at worse.

    • IHF2030 says:

      Sadly, it seems that there are too many hard-up, desperate, ass kissing sucker guys with no self-respect on this site. These pathetic guys seem to feel they have to pony up cash from the get-go to attract women.

    • zito says:

      I have only honestly ever had one pot expect money for a first meet, which would have been for coffee, and I told her straight up…I do not pay for a first meet, good luck to you

    • THEATLSD says:

      The problem is social media. Instagram and tumblr are literally breeding these SB. It’s spreading like zombie virus. The newbies see 1 or 2 girls pulling this big money first meets off and think that’s how it goes. They learn to shame (Fundudes favorite word) these newbie SD into giving them the big payoff. Also to top it off some of these SB are just mean and rude about it. I said it before the Sugar bowl has been damaged with no repair man in site.

      • IHF2030 says:

        I think a lot of the women on here seek out guys who are married/elderly etc., figuring that such men will be hard-up, and willing to throw cash around despite low expectations.

    • rembodler says:

      For those of you who likes mathematics:
      If you “gifted” her an $ for showing up on the dinner date, you just increased her weekly allowance by $ and her monthly by 4x$.
      not that you had to…really.

  140. Southernblack says:

    can anybody here take a look at my profile and tell me if there is anything I could do to attract more people?

    • Josh says:

      1. What brought you to sugar?
      2. Why would you want to date men twice your age?

    • Josh says:

      3. Are you a strong, independent woman?

      a. If yes, how/why?
      b. If no, how/why?

    • ILikeOlives? says:

      @Southernblack As superficial as it sounds, probably the first thing a SD is going to be looking at are your photos. That being said, you have a couple of very nice profile photos (the main one serving as your icon, as well as the ones in the white dress). The ones with the dark lipstick I would lose, as they are too small, and the full body profile shot is too dark, so I would recommend getting rid of it as well. That being said, you need to have at least one full body shot that shows off your slim appearance, otherwise you are making a viewer guess at what you actually look like.

      Your “About Me” section is pretty good, although the grammar and structure need some work to make it more intelligible. There are some run on sentences, and then sentence fragments. As a viewer, I understand what you are trying to communicate, but you don’t convey the mature and intelligent aspects as well as you could be with more articulately written introduction. Try separating thoughts using line breaks to spread it out.

      You may also want to expand on the “What I am Looking for” section, as that is a little sparse. You do give a general idea, and I like what you wrote about being “swept off your feet”, conveys that you are looking for more of a romantic sugar relationship, which is nice.

      All in all, I would say its a good profile. Fix the one photo for sure, and work a little more on the intro paragraph.

      Good luck!

      • Southernblack says:

        Thank you, I appreciate your constructive criticism. I will take your advice and completely redo my profile 🙂 @ILikeOlives?

    • Josh says:

      My towel is already thrown in. 😉

    • Josh says:

      4. Do you know your worth? how?

    • Sunshine says:

      With all these towels lying around I think it’s time to towel flick some people :p.

    • Josh says:

      Which collage are you attending or have attended?

      Do you know what “diction” is?

  141. Jaybird923 says:

    Yeah he did. Already saw that one Fundude

  142. FunDude says:

    Black Israelites know how to handle “feminist” women:


  143. POT? SD says:

    Greetings, quite new to the sugar bowl and decided to come here because it is the most active blog and the occupants have more collective miles in the sugar scene.

    I am looking to immerse myself in work related activity for the next year or two and would like to find an SD for companionship in that time. Although I am looking for a quasi-semi real relationship with someone I could attend family functions as well as those organised by friends.

    As a result, she would need to pass the friends test….so,intelligent a reasonable career, ambitious and elegant, as well as being great looking.

    Q: maximum value selection process. As personality and fit are important, we would have to go on many dates and I might even have to “trial-run” for lack of a better word relationship with multiple women before settling on the right one. How to do this without squandering money on endless per meet gifting each woman in the shortlist.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      By being open and honest with the women about your intentions and what you would like to see happen. Let them decide if they are willing to forego an allowance/gifts while they audition for the chance to be your quasi-semi girlfriend. Most will probably say no .. a few might say yes depending on how great of a “prize” they stand to win if chosen.

      • POT? SD says:

        Haha thanks for that. It is what is it as long as it works for everyone involved. How else would you narrow the field? do you not date multiple SDs before you settle on the right match.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @POT I’m glad I was able to entertain you :-)) There’s nothing wrong with dating multiple SBs to decide who you want to be with…as long as no one is being misled.

        If you go through with this I hope you come back to let us know how the contestants are doing and who wins. Out of curiosity besides yourself what does the winner get?

      • POT? SD says:

        Allowance upto 5k PA. Long term arrangement, ideally 1 year+

        Wow lost the room with this one. I’m surprised by the reaction TBH I would have thought it only natural for SDs and SBs to date (platonic) multiple people a few times and zero in on the right person. Any other way seems very inefficient to me.

        The profiles say little to nothing…what I think of myself versus how someone might perceive me…outright lies…narcissistic behavior traits…everyone is on their best behavior in the first couple of dates you dont really get a sense of them….isn’t that the greatest benefit of going online? why would you limit the pool so early as you are forced to do IRL

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Pot who’s against you? Certainly not me. The only thing I’ve said is be honest if you want to date them for an extended period of time “without squandering money on endless per meet gifting each woman in the shortlist”. Let them decide if they want to stick around or not

      • POT? SD says:

        correction 5k pm

      • POT? SD says:

        Ok, Thanks. Honesty may not be the most appealing policy though, then again it takes a lot of salt to swallow SBs telling you they are currently communicating with you only…perhaps somethings are better left unsaid…we had a good time, some gifting was involved, didn’t connect….extending speed dating with some extras…

    • Traveling Man says:

      On top of Jay’s wise advice, might do the following:
      1st meeting, dinner date, etc of course on you, no other cash besides any travel cost, taxi, etc
      Other meetings, figure a small set fee $100-250 depending on your choice, with explanation as Jay says, with payoff for the Bachelor Contestant winner

    • gentleman soul says:

      OR a third opinion -no allowance until the fat lady sings ?

    • Sunshine says:

      SBs get really excited about the idea of auditioning/trial runs…not.

      I would suggest being upfront with what you want and targeting those who are after a similar arrangement. To not spend endless amounts of money then spend time talking to them online. If you want to eat your cake then expect to have to pay for it.

      • POT? SD says:

        Thats a shame..I was going to ask if you fancy a bite at mine next weekend.

      • Anonymous says:

        I’m quite sure you’ll get by 🙂

      • Sunshine says:

        Oops that anonymous was me :).

        Nobody has an issue or should have an issue if you see multiple women before you decide on one. Past the first meet though you might want to offer ppm or a gift. The thing about SBs is that once an arrangement starts and intimacy occurs they generally expect that you will help them financially.

  144. aceman says:

    When it comes to figuring out the math I always revert back to the famous Chinese philosopher, Confucius, who said in 479 BC,

    “Pussy has no face”

  145. Traveling Man says:

    Tried posting response to Josh:
    Yes, Josh, I have found math to not be a strong suit in the SA world. I did the math for one woman so i could explain she waa regularly asking for 15-20% of the Top 1% of USA annual incomes, and that the market might be a tad limited! Obviously, there is a difference in cash on hand vs income, but still the Moderates are asking for 8-12% of a guy’s annual gross income of $500,000 or 12-16% of take home after taxes. The SA marketing guru who came up with the term Moderate for $3-5k a month should have his income Moderately reduced!

    • Sunshine says:

      The issue is of course that most sugar relationships don’t last on a yearly basis so for an SB it makes sense (if you can) to ask for more to cover the lean time. After all you can always accept less but you’re very unlikely to be able to negotiate more.

  146. Jaybird923 says:

    Anyways @Jaybird923, you sound pansexual heteroromatic. How’s that feel?

    @Affairoftheheart Well to be honest, it feels confusing for several reason.

    1) I have no idea what those terms mean. They sound made up to me..

    2) I wasn’t the one with questions about my sexuality or what terms should be used to describe it. Even when I was too young to know the proper name for “boy parts” I knew I found them interesting and wanted to see more of them. I have always been heterosexual and always will be.

    3) (pay close attention because this one is important) I’m very confused about why you would think I’d give a shit what you think about my sexuality in the first place.

    • AffairOfTheHeart says:

      Oh @Jaybird923, I like you very much, you and your beauuuuutiful avatar!

      I got it wrong, though: I should have addressed my reply to @Lovelynyours, who was asking for suggestions of how to describe her orientation. So I just tagged you incorrectly, is all.

      @Lovelynyours, YOU (not Jaybird, who is a straight lady) sound pansexual and heteroromantic. How does that feel? (To you. Not Jaybird, who again, has not solicited readers of this blog for advice about her self-presentation on this occasion.)

      1) like all terms, they are indeed most definitely made up.

  147. AffairOfTheHeart says:

    I have a question, for everyone:

    How common is it for an SD to give much more for a first meet than he’s comfortable giving (or able to give) for subsequent meets? I’ve had a few dates where an SD gives me a very generous allowance the first time we meet (or on our first “REAL” date) which means we never really DISCUSS allowance because I’m just like “thanks so much, this is great!”

    In one of those cases the SD gave smaller and smaller gifts on subsequent meets until it got awkward and we called it quits. He was genuinely embarrassed–I don’t think he INTENDED to string me along–it just seems like maybe there’s an idea out there that the first gift is like a “signing bonus” or something? Or maybe if two people are getting along, the SD is hoping it will evolve into a relationship with no allowance?

    I’m wondering this since I have a date with an SD who gave a very generous allowance when we met. In the past I would have assumed that to establish the gift amount for subsequent dates, but now I’m not sure…

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      @Affair – Never Ass-u-me anything…you MUST seek clarification to mitigate confusion. If it was an unexpectedly large first gift, a message the next day could be something like, “WOW, thank you for that unexpected gift. If this is what I can expect at every date, you’re going to have one appreciative SB on your hands!” Now it’s in his court to either pony up the dough, or to step back and say, “No, that was to cover the next three months…is that alright?”

      I think I’m going to write another blog post and submit it…all about confirming and clarifying so you’re speaking the same “language”

      I had this conversation with a pot SB the other day…

      Me: What would you like, on a weekly basis, to feel comfortable with keeping in touch by email or text, meeting on average once or twice a week…
      SB: Whatever you felt comfortable giving would be fine. What you give me as an allowance doesn’t impact how I treat you as a SD.
      Me: you mean if we get together, like each other and get intimate you’ll be happy with WHATEVER I gave you? and if I wanted to see you again that same week, you’d still be happy with what I had already given you?

      It turns out she’s REALLY new to the Sugar Bowl…she finally did give me a weekly number she’d be comfortable with…but…you should understand what that number is going to be BEFORE you’re intimate, or seek clarification AFTER you’ve received your gift from first intimacy.

      How would the conversation have gone with a SD if he’d given you less than you expected?

      • AffairOfTheHeart says:

        “How would the conversation have gone with a SD if he’d given you less than you expected?”

        Exactly–if the SD offered less than expected, I’d say “oh, I was thinking more like $$”, and then it would be established that I’m looking for an allowance in that range.

        But if he offers an allowance in the range I’m looking for, the SD never gets to hear me say “oh, this is more what I was thinking”, so he might develop the impression that I’m happy to continue the relationship with a smaller allowance…

        Also thank you very much, that phrase is magic! “If this is what I can expect at every date, you’re going to have one appreciative SB on your hands!”

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        you said the bigger gifts were BEFORE you established expectations…how would things have gone if the guy slipped you $200, instead of a large gift, after the first meet?

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        And again, were YOU expecting per meet, where he was expecting per week? See, what if he gave you less than you expected, but was going to schedule to see you again later that week for another visit and the “rest” of what he thought would be sufficient for a weekly arrangement?

    • CQueen says:

      I read this and realize I have absolutely no idea wha is going on here!

  148. Josh says:


    “For some reason, $300 really appears to be getting a bad rap. For someone meeting twice per week, isn’t that right at the top of the Practical expectation level? That’s the equivalent of having a taxable income of $65k a year. ($300 * 2 times per week * 4.5 weeks a month * 12 months a year / 50% tax-free = $64,800)”

    All such objections, bad rap, etc., comes from escorts and their handlers and pimps, masquerading as SBs here, who live and die for their hourly rate. They don’t have the ability/interest in understanding the sugar lifestyle.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      @Olives & @Josh – It’s hard to believe how “stuck” on a number or an amount someone can get (and there are a few on blog, stuck on different numbers, but still stuck on a number)…

      There will ALWAYS be those who seek to take advantage (on both sides of the Bowl)
      There will ALWAYS be those who abuse the situation (on both sides of the Bowl)
      There will ALWAYS be a healthy variety in the amounts and types of giving from both sides of the Bowl

      I think our goal on blog should NOT be debating the amounts, setting minimums, dumb shit like that…our goal should be to HELP the SBs optimize their ability to find the RIGHT match in a SD…AND…to HELP the SDs understand how to find the RIGHT match in a SB…THEN…to help everyone keep arrangements working as positively as possible for the parties involved.

      Is it my business if someone is juggling 10-12 SBs? No, as long as one of them isn’t mine.
      Is it my business if someone is juggling 10-12 SDs? No, as long as one of them isn’t me.

      Outside that, have fun, be truthful, let’s move on and get to HELPING everyone Sugar!

      • gentleman soul says:

        Well put . There is a lot of disparaging going on directed at SDs who throw out a number that doesn’t jibe with the going rate in the Sugar brain . SBs are threatened by having too low a value put on their services . Yes,it is a commercial transaction -with benefits .

    • gentleman soul says:

      Not true Josh. The objections are from SBs who “know their worth” . Escorts are generally in that range, at least if you check Eros etal.

    • Josh says:

      @gentle, you could be correct that some of the objections are from SBs who “know their worth.”

      1. The SBs want to get paid more than the escorts because…drum roll please…they are not escorts, and are worth more due to “low mileage.”

      2. The escorts want to get multi-hour rates as a comfortable dates could last for a few hours.

    • Traveling Man says:

      Yes, Josh, I have found math to not be a strong suit in the SA world. I did the math for one woman so i could explain she waa regularly asking for 15-20% of the Top 1% of USA annual incomes, and that the market might be a tad limited! Obviously, there is a difference in cash on hand vs income, but still the Moderates are asking for 8-12% of a guy’s annual gross income of $500,000 or 12-16% of take home after taxes. The SA marketing guru who came up with the term Moderate for $3-5k a month should have his income Moderately reduced!

  149. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Here’s another article…we’ve discussed the “problems” with too much makeup in the Sugar Bowl…here’s the trouble with too much makeup IRL!


  150. hototrot1 says:

    I love how some people think an SD is “giving” an SB money. Last time I checked, it was an exchange. She provides him with warmth, good loving and fun times when needed and he provides gifts and financial help. That’s not the same type of giving that happens between friends. Not a fair equation by a long shot.

    • Traveling Man says:

      Touché, Touché, mon cheri amour!!

    • rembodler says:

      This is a female logic, Hot.
      So if I all I am to you is “gifts and financial help” can I please be a jerk a treat you like my servant? I am sure you will be the first to say “no”.
      So – in addition to “gifts and financial support” you also want “warmth, good loving and fun times”, no? So I have to do all you do and gifts and financial support?
      That is why it is not a fair exchange.
      But do not worry, Hot – you still win as this is still so much better than marriage…;))).

    • Sunshine says:

      Ahhhhh but you see Hot a lot of men think that sex is a right and that they’re entitled to it and how dare we women not just spread for any passerby :p.

      Yes I expect to be treated like a human being but I’m sure as hell working for it. Of course if they don’t see any value in it they can go back to regular dating and listen to how x day was so shitty and no she doesn’t want to have sex because she has a headache and why doesn’t he spend more time with her?!?!? As for any fantasies or making him feel good? Forget that! Bon appetit!

  151. Sherlock says:

    Linguistic clues and deductive reasoning methodology make the truth obvious:

    @Josh = @ygbkm. = @FatBastard.

    • Josh says:

      Do show your “Linguistic clues and deductive reasoning methodology”, @Sherlock = @Genius. 😉

    • ILikeOlives? says:

      I’m more and more of the opinion that you should have to be a member of SA to post on the blog, and that your post should have to link back to your profile. I think a lot fewer individuals would troll if they weren’t able to hide behind anonymity.

      Anyways, I suppose that the best response to a trollish post is just to press the ol’ ignore button.

      @IGNORE 😀

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @olives – you would also lose some actual advice from the blog as well…I’m one that would NOT be in favor of linking to my Sugar Profile on SA for blog participation. I’m a LOCAL SD, married, known in the community…I don’t need to have a searchable format blog pointing to my profile. It might actually boost membership numbers though, as contributors create fake profiles to link for the blog participation…

        I just know I’m sick of the proxy talk…again…

      • Sherlock says:

        @Olives. Of course, I DO have an SA prolile. You can find me at 221B.BakerSt.
        Elementary, my good man.

      • Sunshine says:

        I liked that idea but my combination of hobbies means that I’m so easy to find its not funny. I’m sure SDs do things that will immediately make people think it is them. If it was a closed blog for SA members only then yes that would be good.

    • NC Gent says:

      My deductive reasoning must be off, because I think they are all different people. FB is consistently cynical and terse. YGTBKM is more verbose and introspective. Josh is all over the map.

    • What I think I hear you saying, Sherlock, is that you’d like to see the three of us come together.

  152. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Here is why every SD should check ID before Sugar is exchanged…


    • Jaybird923 says:

      That’s messed up. What’s the point of even having trials if you’re going to just apply the same sentences to everyone regardless of the situation. You might as well save the tax payers the expense and just sentence people without a trial.

      How is it fair to punish him when the supposed victim is telling you she blatantly lied about her age. I hope if he get a judge with more common sense when he appeals his case.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        Statutory Rape is built without a need for victim support so that you can “protect” the young and innocent. I think he’s having more of an issue because her lie was she was 17, which might be age of consent, but still isn’t age of majority.

        I think he was just a dumb boy with a hardon for a hot local chick…it’s too bad it WILL ruin his life!

        The greater discussion about the Sex Offenders Registry is important as well, since peeing in public can land you on that list (had a buddy in college stop along a river on a canoe trip to pee, while we were all waiting, he got caught and talked his way OUT of the charge through someone he knew on the local force)…public nudity can land you on that list (another college classmate was with his girlfriend in the woods, having a bit of fun, the county deputy caught them and drove them back to campus housing, giving them a warning, but campus cops ran program about issues with public sex and nudity)…

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I understand the statutory rape laws are meant to protect victims. My point was that everything should be considered on a case by case bases. Yes technically I guess he broke the law but how do you justify giving him 25 years on a sex offender registry list? Yes you have to punish him but come on. They could of given him the 90 day probation maybe some mandatory classes and some community service. They ruined that boys life for no reason.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Jay – trouble is…when you “bend” the rules for one person, the statutory nature of the law is gone…there was more than one person in high school (female mind you) that all the guys stayed clear of, because everyone knew there would be claims of rape from the family…because she was a whore with those who were younger and could not be charged…

        I agree, in a perfect world the situation would be understandable, but there are WAY too many stupid people on this planet to allow some things to have flexibility…

      • Sunshine says:

        Another thing. Where I am if you take photos of yourself naked and you’re underage you can be prosecuted for child pornography! Luckily the police here are understanding and not on big ego trips but it’s pretty ridiculous (yes I understand why they have it so so nobody can coerce a minor into taking photos for them but it seems crazy that photos of yourself can get you into trouble!)

    • gentleman soul says:

      Shocking to say the least. There should be some accountability on the part of the underage “victim” We all know how a person’s appearance can be inconsistent with their true age. As usual we have massively over swung the pendulum in trying to deal with the trafficking problem. This is true in the war on drugs as well.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @gentleman – very well said…

      • AffairOfTheHeart says:

        Statutory rape laws are intended to protect minors. Even minors who look old and act slutty.

        It’s this whole idea that childhood exists? You should get to be a child, and be protected? And like maybe children who wear short skirts and read books about sex and get boobs early are like still also children?

        For this reason I don’t think teens should ever end up with sex offender status for things they do with other teens.

    • mami says:

      Checking ID is beneficial for that reason, My thought is this if your daughter or son where are you in their life? It is insane , I say that because the law for statutory seems very unfair for unsuspecting males. It seems to me if this girl’s parents had a better relationship with their child then maybe this would not have happened. If you are a parent it is your responsibility to know what your child is doing. You are responsible for them until they are 21 in NY. I have a teen son , I know what he is doing all the time because we have great communication . We are open about sex and everything else, I just wonder why the hell the parents are not doing more , all rant over.

  153. Josh says:

    Now this is hilarious.


    • Jaybird923 says:

      That was sad and funny at the same time

    • SouthernSB says:

      That was really mean, on the girls part, they have no idea who those guys are, what they have to offer and if they are serious people. They just wanted to get in a hot car and were willing to offer sex for the “privilege.” Those are the kinds of women I hate. If it were me, not only would I not get in a car with a strange man, no matter what his car looks like, I would never turn a guy down just because he had a sedan. I use to live on an Air Force base in FL. that was smack dab in the middle of some of the most prime real estate in Tampa. Every time we went off base we would drive past the homes of football players, basketball players, Hulk Hogan’s house, just millionaires and multi-millionaires all over the place. But the grocery store (Publix of course, damn expensive place) we would see nothing but Hondas, Toyotas, and Chevys. Same thing at the mall, no one was advertizing their wealth, but we all knew they were wealthy. By the time I moved to GA. and out of FL, I had seen most of the houses I use to drive past on “Cribs.” That’s how I found out that the little German “gingerbread house” belonged to Hulk Hogan.

      • Sunshine says:

        It’s very easy to rent an expensive car too. My SD drives a car that most university students would sneer at but it works, is reliable and he’s not into cars. People’s looks are abusing when we go out to dinner and spend more on that in one evening than what his car is probably worth.

    • gentleman soul says:

      EVERYBODY has their price -even YOU !

  154. Josh says:

    @NC Gent

    “I can lease a Maserati for less than $1000 a month. There is a 100% chance that car will bring me pleasure.”

    Direct and indirect pleasure, maybe? 😉


  155. Sunshine says:


    Check your email 🙂

  156. cryptic anomaly says:

    Favourite Girl from the blog photos? For me I like the one in 6 Lessons from Sugar Babies and our perplexed Asian (Eurasian?) above.

  157. Re:Following the new format!

    Hey guys…hope everyone has been well. Ive been busy training for a synchronized swim-off, and Ive not followed the blog much in the past months. Any pointers on skimming the blog in the new format? Is there an easy way to follow new posts?


  158. Josh says:


    This has been beaten to death, I thought. Strong independent woman in her early 40s, occupation and children would rather not say, a few extra pounds, high allowance to cover children rather not say and going (back) to collage.”


  159. Josh says:

    For the record, I don’t pursue ANY blog SBs, regardless of how beautiful, intelligent, and downright desirable you may be. If you are ugly, dumb, and undesirable, then forget it anyway. 😉

    • Anonymous says:

      Do you not get enough attention in life? There is really something mentally wrong with you.

      • Anonymous says:

        You just don’t understand. Josh IS very desirable. The women love his creative mind for all the proxy accounts he makes. They love that he lives in his mother’s basement and is so dedicated to his hobby of the blog. Josh has every right to kick off all the SBs on the blog who are vying for him if they don’t meet his standards.

    • Josh says:

      Whatever you say sweetheart. 😉

    • Sunshine says:

      It’s generally best not to get involved with anyone off the blog as more than friends. Sounds like a recipe for uncomfortable drama if they’re regulars.

  160. Josh says:

    “Being a woman is color blind.” Thus spake the Guru. 😉

  161. Josh says:

    ‘Tis time for a new blog.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      I don’t think we’ll be getting a new blog anytime soon. Eventually we’ll just have to jump on the Transgender one

  162. Josh says:

    “Not seeking an “arrangement’ more of a FRIENDSHIP and/or RELATIONSHIP with arrangement qualities. I am looking for something long term but I won’t close the books to something short term. Im not looking for an “arrangement” Don’t assume what my definition of an friendship and relationship is, contact me a find out. :)”

    It would be very difficult for a man to write shit like this.

    • crypticanomaly says:

      LMAO Just saw that one myself. The woman is blaming her race for the lack of interest. As I pointed out to her on the other blog what she is seeking is the problem and confusing and unappealing in any colour.

  163. Josh says:

    For all those women who think that $300, $200 or $100 is nothing, would you please give that nothing money to another SB who thinks that $100 would be God sent? Please provide proof of your kind donation.

    • Anonymous says:

      The only young woman who accepts $100 to be in an arrangement with a guy her father’s age is going to blow that money on drugs.