When the lights come on, and the fun has stopped, we all find ourselves wondering “where do we go from here?”
This thought applies to relationships that fall under the ‘cultural norm’ as well as those teetering outside the ordinary. The Sugar lifestyle is always meant to be a supplement – or a getaway – from the mundane. Much like dating, there are individuals you’re bound to totally click with, and others you can’t wait to get away from!
Honestly, we are all human. No individual is more or less prone to losing interest in someone than the next. Growing apart happens, but remaining honest with yourself and making a timely, thought-through move allows things to end on a polite note. The end goal should be for neither one of you to feel like you’ve wasted any precious time.
When you start the ‘break up’ conversation, proceed with caution. If you know your Sugar Baby is the type who likes to yell or is a bit unpredictable, opt for a public, exits-clearly-marked location. The patio of a coffee shop, the lounge area of a small cafe, or even a nice walk through a park yields plenty of opportunity for witnesses if things get a little crazy…
In the case of a special trip or event quickly approaching, the sooner you have this chat, the better. There’s nothing worse than traveling with someone you consciously no longer have interest in. It would be best to call a friend or ask a colleague to tag along if refunds are not an option opposed to dragging someone along for a ‘special trip’ that could be misinterpreted as you reasserting your interest.
Keep your thoughts clear, and voice any absolutes. If you do not want to date this person again in the future, do not hint at maybe “hooking up” in a few months. If you want to return to a marriage (separated or otherwise) be honest with your Sugar Baby, as well as your reunited partner. That way, there’s no skeletons in the closet and all is relaunching based on a fresh start.
It’s possible that emotions will run high during a breakup conversation. You will hear things come out of your sweet Sugar Baby’s mouth that you never could have imagined possible! It’s also very likely that you will break your otherwise constant ‘cool’ as well.
In the grand scheme of things, emotional reactions are okay. They are a coping mechanism. Your life will likely continue as you have established yourself and have a financial cushion to rely on. The reaction of a Sugar Baby includes:
“How will I find this again?”
“Is he going to ask for everything back?”
“What did I do wrong?!”
These reasons and more are fueling the reaction that’s happening, and that comes with the territory. Although your first reaction may include terms such as ungrateful, rude, or immature, I would advise separating yourself from the aggression and refrain from acting spiteful.
In the future put some serious thought into buying your next sweetie that Benz with a $50k price tag. If items are in HER name, she’s completely entitled to keep those “gifts.” If items are in YOUR name, then you certainly have a right to request those items back, ask your former sweetie to vacate, leave the keys (and the spare!) then hand over that brand new cell phone you are actively paying for.
Not all breakups will end badly. Sometimes it is as simple as a quick hug and saying “goodbye.” If there is an occasional gift that pops up, consider donating any remaining items, and return newer items if possible.
If these breakups are a repeat thing, consider speaking with a counselor to set a plan for what you want vs what you need in a relationship (traditional or otherwise). Remember: the definition of insanity is repeating the same actions and expecting different results.
If this is your first time going through the Sugar Breakup, this will likely hold the sting of breaking up with a girlfriend. This is someone you’ve spent quality time with, let them in on your deepest thoughts, and likely looked forward to being around at some of your most vulnerable moments.
It’s okay to run through the conversation a few times in your head. It’s okay to have a few nights out with the guys. Rest in knowing that your future holds more fun. Avoid stalking your former Sugar Baby on Facebook or “showing up” at the coffeeshop you know she frequents each Saturday.
Walk fido, run through a CrossFit workout, go for a vacation – do anything but picking up that phone and sending the lone “hey” text. There’s always more Sugar to be found in the bowl!
What advice would you share with someone going through a Sugar breakup?