5 years ago
Putting Baby In A Corner


When the lights come on, and the fun has stopped, we all find ourselves wondering “where do we go from here?”

This thought applies to relationships that fall under the ‘cultural norm’ as well as those teetering outside the ordinary. The Sugar lifestyle is always meant to be a supplement – or a getaway – from the mundane. Much like dating, there are individuals you’re bound to totally click with, and others you can’t wait to get away from!

Honestly, we are all human. No individual is more or less prone to losing interest in someone than the next. Growing apart happens, but remaining honest with yourself and making a timely, thought-through move allows things to end on a polite note. The end goal should be for neither one of you to feel like you’ve wasted any precious time.

The Breakup Conversation

When you start the ‘break up’ conversation, proceed with caution. If you know your Sugar Baby is the type who likes to yell or is a bit unpredictable, opt for a public, exits-clearly-marked location. The patio of a coffee shop, the lounge area of a small cafe, or even a nice walk through a park yields plenty of opportunity for witnesses if things get a little crazy…

In the case of a special trip or event quickly approaching, the sooner you have this chat, the better. There’s nothing worse than traveling with someone you consciously no longer have interest in. It would be best to call a friend or ask a colleague to tag along if refunds are not an option opposed to dragging someone along for a ‘special trip’ that could be misinterpreted as you reasserting your interest.

Keep your thoughts clear, and voice any absolutes. If you do not want to date this person again in the future, do not hint at maybe “hooking up” in a few months. If you want to return to a marriage (separated or otherwise) be honest with your Sugar Baby, as well as your reunited partner. That way, there’s no skeletons in the closet and all is relaunching based on a fresh start.

The Afterthoughts

It’s possible that emotions will run high during a breakup conversation. You will hear things come out of your sweet Sugar Baby’s mouth that you never could have imagined possible! It’s also very likely that you will break your otherwise constant ‘cool’ as well.

In the grand scheme of things, emotional reactions are okay. They are a coping mechanism. Your life will likely continue as you have established yourself and have a financial cushion to rely on. The reaction of a Sugar Baby includes:

“How will I find this again?”

“Is he going to ask for everything back?”

   “What did I do wrong?!”

These reasons and more are fueling the reaction that’s happening, and that comes with the territory. Although your first reaction may include terms such as ungrateful, rude, or immature, I would advise separating yourself from the aggression and refrain from acting spiteful.

In the future put some serious thought into buying your next sweetie that Benz with a $50k price tag. If items are in HER name, she’s completely entitled to keep those “gifts.” If items are in YOUR name, then you certainly have a right to request those items back, ask your former sweetie to vacate, leave the keys (and the spare!) then hand over that brand new cell phone you are actively paying for.

Moving Forward

Not all breakups will end badly. Sometimes it is as simple as a quick hug and saying “goodbye.” If there is an occasional gift that pops up, consider donating any remaining items, and return newer items if possible.

If these breakups are a repeat thing, consider speaking with a counselor to set a plan for what you want vs what you need in a relationship (traditional or otherwise). Remember: the definition of insanity is repeating the same actions and expecting different results.

If this is your first time going through the Sugar Breakup, this will likely hold the sting of breaking up with a girlfriend. This is someone you’ve spent quality time with, let them in on your deepest thoughts, and likely looked forward to being around at some of your most vulnerable moments.

It’s okay to run through the conversation a few times in your head. It’s okay to have a few nights out with the guys. Rest in knowing that your future holds more fun. Avoid stalking your former Sugar Baby on Facebook or “showing up” at the coffeeshop you know she frequents each Saturday.


Walk fido, run through a CrossFit workout, go for a vacation – do anything but picking up that phone and sending the lone “hey” text. There’s always more Sugar to be found in the bowl!


What advice would you share with someone going through a Sugar breakup?

Leave a Reply

1,699 Responses to “Putting Baby In A Corner”

  1. marta says:

    Really very informative article it is! Here I agree with you that high emotions will run during the break up conversation. Hope you will continue your kind of writing.

  2. n0name says:

    And this is why “starting small” as an idea some stingy SD wannabes love to promote is total BS. Those kind of break ups should come within the same rules as post marriage settlements. Incidentally if they manage to leave the girl up the duff, there was a useful precedent with that ginger tennis player :/ A good CEO would buy you a flat at the point of moving on, not ask back for stuff …. whoever wrote this article is not getting any thanks here.

    • ATLSD says:

      Noname one of the blog regulars wrote this. If you read through the blog you can figure it out.
      There is no way I would compare a break up with a SB the same as a marriage.
      The dynamics are so completely different.

    • SSSB says:


      Google the concept “Hedonic Treadmill.” If you are a “professional SB,” ask for the highest allowance, so I can next you. I have no intention of being compared to your past “high-rollers” when you were hotter, and I have no intention of being part of your life on your way down to oblivion (being constantly disappointed all the way down).

      Otherwise, if you are like most young woman trying to make your way through college or early part of your career, where a 30% to 50% (or 100% if you only have a part-time job or live off parents) increase to your current take-home pay can make a huge difference in your life now in terms of getting you to a place where you will be able to make more on your own in a successful career in the future, appreciating improving qualify of life every step of the way, then I will consider becoming a positive influence on your way up.

  3. Behonest says:

    Honesty honesty honesty!!! My SD left me with not a word, clue, goodbye, or anything. It made me feel like a POS I’m still getting over it. I always need closure and he left me feeling worst then my exhusband of 10yrs.

  4. maineman2.0 says:

    As I’m reading through this blog, the constant seems to be drama.

    I came here to escape the drama, and my experience has taught me to be open and honest, it certainly helps with communication, no matter how difficult it may be.

    The respect you will receive will amaze you.

  5. Fitness34 says:

    I met this girl on here 26 , was helping her out , fell in love with her , kept
    pumping money in her pocket , about 4000$ she kissed me few times , then one
    day I decided to stop because I didn’t feel affections , she got agitated and
    pushed me out of her place. I was devastated . Told not need my help and not
    need my money . I am still a bit of distress I got carried away by my emotions
    she was a pretty baby. 🙁

  6. Marc says:

    This layout needs pagination. 1,675 responses on one page? Really?

  7. One Vanity says:

    I just started this site, i been scared of seeing how these relationships pan out because one didn’t go right with me. One relationship was abusive and believe he use me being in a situation i was in at the time against me. I wonder why people do that. Any answers?

  8. Hi Everyone,

    I am new to this site and saw the last post from Alexisjj. My advice to your comment below is to have someone qualify themselves first to make sure that your time is not being taken for granted. Start off slow in the conversation and perhaps ask for a small gift to be sent to you via email, to keep the conversation flowing as well as to discover whether or not this Daddy(s) are true to what they are promising you. If a man really wants your company, desires you, and is a true SugarDaddy then this should be a non issue for him to provide you with a small gift to show that he is genuine and real. 🙂

  9. alexisjj says:

    Hello all 🙂 I am looking/very open to advice. I am a sugar baby seeking a sugar daddy..yet I haven’t had much luck…I am not an expert at this,…..but maybe I have been to naive. All the daddies I chat with are very excited,…sexually,..an I understand fully all that that evolves an I am comfortable with it. However I get a lot of Daddies that just talk on the phone, or via email…an then nothing…as if they just wanted some sexual …stuff that way…an that was it. So some told me I was to nice hearted. So are there any real SD out there that like to be real, and really want a SD/SB relationship?…..

    ty 🙂 hugs

  10. Anonymous says:

    My baby told me “she met someone.” Bye Baby.

    • alexisjj says:

      I hope you find a new baby 🙂 And if we are compatible, I would like to help you,…in being what you need. However you need it 🙂

  11. Natasha says:

    I think you are all just big drama queens.. I read all your messages that you write back and forth. I would hate to be with anyone that is part of this conversations. You all sounds miserable and unhappy.
    If you want to know what to do always be true to yourself. For years I have only dated the best of the best. Lawyers, doctors, architects, business owners I didn’t give them my body till i was ready and I was comfortable with them. My motto is Be yourself don’t be a fake bitch or ass. Just because someone offers to buy you things or take you somewhere doesn’t mean you need to give anything up. My Ex from Germany always said back home if someone ask you out to do something movie, dinner, it will always be on them. It’s the proper thing to do at least in Europe.

    • Koznomaut says:

      Natasha, my experience is much different from that of your German Ex. I spent about three of the last five years in Germany for my job; in spurts of four or five months at a time. In my experience with dating European women (both German locals and others residing in Germany) they pretty much insist on going Dutch exactly so that they do not feel you might think they owe you. Want to freak out a German woman in her mid 20s? Pay the check in a restaurant while takes a trip to the bathroom. If this was your first date with her, it might likely be your last one as well. Paying your own is so common, actually, that more than half of the time the waiter or waitress will ask you (if you are a male/female couple) “getrennt oder zusammen” (split or together). If you are with a male friend they ask far less often. Also, a local woman there will refuse an outing if she considers it too expensive “for herself”. If you are willing to drop a 100 Euro concert ticket on her and she is not in the position to pay for that, she will refuse the invitation. The girlfriend I ended up with was an Asian lady who grew up in a former soviet republic. She had the American attitude and we got along just fine. 🙂

  12. Anonymous says:

    I have my first SD date tonight…..
    If I am correct, isn’t right not to let him sample the ‘goods’, before all the details are hammered out. And how long should I wait before I get an allowance ect…


  13. Misserin3 says:

    I am fairly new this site as well. I am having trouble seeking a SD out, none that I feel are compatible with me. I am not asking for too much, just someone to make me feel comfortable with atleast! But other then that, I like to see that the SA community is very active!

    • Anonymous says:

      You don’t bring anything special to the table.

    • Anonymous says:

      Well ,you are a cute young blond who would appeal to me if I were in your state. Have you gotten any contacts ? And if so why do they not appeal to you ?

    • crypticanomaly says:

      Women on here don’t understand that as they want money they really have to make an effort, your looks alone aren’t enough to attract a quality SD, you need to make a lot more effort with your profile. What flies on a normal dating site won’t work on here.

    • spirit_greywolf says:

      I too wonder why you are finding the SD’s incompatible. Your profile is written well, you don’t appear to have outlandish expectations and what you want are precisely the types of things I want as well! That and you’re quite attractive! With that said the only criticism I could offer your profile is to add a picture of just you. No tongue sticking out, no duckface. Just you smiling into the camera with your eyes open! 🙂

      You might of course had that on an earlier incarnation of your profile. But not at present as “bbygurl101″…

      • SugarD says:

        Hey @Grey ,she hasn’t been on the site for 3 weeks. Check it out 1st . I agree, the tongue out CIM shot should not ever be there. Disgusting !

  14. SBSunny says:

    I’m fairly new to SA ad looking for SD’s in the Chicago land area 🙂

  15. JoyfulCompanion says:

    I have found that there are very little real Sugar Mommas on this site, and the only reason I chose SA was because it purported to have women that weren’t solely sugar babies. Am I looking for money? Not necessarily, would be nice though. Am I looking for an older women, yes. Am I looking for sex? To be honest, I am a virgin due to religion and have only recently begun to explore, so yes I would like sex. I feel that an older woman would enjoy the extreme attention and enthusiasm I would put forth in order to gain mastery. Alas, hope still flickers within me that there be real women here and not the fake profiles -_-

  16. LovelyAllie says:

    Break ups really do not have to be that bad! It’s always great to leave the situation on amicable terms, especially since it’s possible you may cross paths in future.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Having been here 4 years, cars and the like are the far exception, not the norm. The vast majority are horny executives with a little extra cash, not a bunch of Donald’s running around.

    Break up in a public place? Are you f’ing kidding me? NO. That’s all a married guy needs, their ex-SB going HAM on you in a public setting. Gentlemen, these are millenials; they don’t think like we think. When we break up with them, they are like, “WTF, how dare they!”. And they aren’t usually as accomplished at the art of discretion. I say keep it discreet, like you have to date. And pay them off a little bit at the end, instead of pissing them off and having them stalk you later.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Looking for SD to have a good time with 🙂 Love adventures & going out!

  19. Brooke says:

    I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that women are getting cars and homes out of this. Men in St. Louis must just be cheap.

  20. Sugar Baby says:


  21. amiaxoxo says:

    oops had to log in ……I’m new here and I just want someone that going to treat me right and make me fell appreciated and special and vice versa. located in Atlanta ga.

  22. Anonymous says:

    I’m new here and I just want someone that going to treat me right and make me fell appreciated and special and vice versa. located in Atlanta ga.

  23. dyana says:

    Seeking an arrangement in the California area 😉

  24. Another Anonymous says:

    @ Elaine

    Yes, you are right, obviously there are many other considerations and conditions. But it seems to me, that for absolute majority of SBs, cash allowance is conditio sine qua non. And nothing wrong with that. Platonic SDs are also few and far between.

  25. THEATLSD says:

    New blog up peeps!!

  26. Another Anonymous says:

    @ Elaine

    Have you ever questioned the SDs here for their reasons for sugardating?

    Not really. It seems obvious for prevailing majority of them. They use cash to get an easier access to women, they would have much tougher time getting in real life. But I would question a SD that insists on paying an allowance to a lady he does NOT find attractive. And the same way I question a decision by a lady, who is attracted to a guy, but will not date him unless there is CASH involved.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Yep, they just won’t admit they are here for the cash. And that without the cash they wouldn’t be dating the SD even if they found him attractive. Even if he was successful as Elaine mentions with her recent lawyer find who she will offer sugar to rather than an actual relationship.

      All about the money! But they can’t admit it.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Oddly enough though they do say it over and over, they just think they are being clever.

      • Reb says:

        Umm any SB saying she isn’t in it for the allowance or a guy saying he isn’t on there to be superficial and find a hot girl to date, it is like going to a buffet and stating, “I AM NOT HERE TO EAT. HOW PREPOSTEROUS!”

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Reb- That is exactly my point, thank you for being honest. Some seem to think there is something shameful in enjoying this for what it is, an easy and laid back arrangement which is fun and care free.

        It’s just nice to be honest about it all the same.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Cryptic, I dated a guy for almost two years who was about 50 at the time (twice my age) and was neither an SD, nor was he wealthy or terribly accomplished. I got no cash, and it was one of the most impactful relationships of my life. We’re still good friends and care about each other. Stop attempting to lump everyone into one box – because there are people who WOULD and have dated older men and been part of an unlikely couple for reasons other than money. Don’t try to tell people what others would and would not do if you don’t even know them.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Lovely-Now you are throwing things into the mix for no reason. I never said anything about age gap relationships.

      • Elaine says:

        I would have no problem whatsoever to admit if I were here only for the allowance.
        But I am simply not.

        Does allowance play a role?
        Yes sure!
        I wouldn’t be here if it wouldn’t.

        But it seems very hard to understand for some Sds that there might be other important factors playing a role in sugar relationships.

        If that is not the case for you personally, because it is only an exchage of money for sex in your opinion, than I think you very much limit yourself and miss a lot, but fine, as long as that is what makes you happy.
        Although the resident SD with this mindset seem to be the ones complaining the most about the SBs they encounter, so, not sure how happy exactly it makes them. 😉

        If you refuse to accept there can be also other reasons and dynamics, I think that is very short visioned.

        And please explain why I should choose to date outside the sugarbowl with an attractive guy, whereas in the sugarbowl I can date guys I find equally attractive?

        Because yes, I genuinely need to feel attraction for my SD.
        Otherwise no allowance would convince me to be with him.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Elaine – It no doubt feels different when you are on the side being paid. It does seem to me like having your cake and eating it too, a guy you like who pays you plus you get sex. Hard to see the down side.

        For the side paying though and knowing that the woman is really only there for the money as you have admitted it is fleeting. How much can you really care about someone who is being bought? Who is only around for as long as the cash flow continues?

        For the SD there isn’t any point in getting attached, it’s all very fake. For the SB perhaps she feels she is being cared for via money.

        In the end it remains a transaction. My thoughts on this actually come from reading the stuff women on this blog write too, as much as you all think you are being caring you really aren’t.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      @Lovely-Now you are throwing things into the mix for no reason. I never said anything about age gap relationships.

      • lovelynyours says:

        No. I’m not. You’ve claimed that we would never be involved with a guy if money wasn’t involved. I gave you an example in which that is precisely what took place, DESPITE the fact that he was older, middle-class, and not terribly accomplished – the older part tends to be an unattractive characteristic among women my age – which is why I mentioned it.

    • Sunshine says:

      Why am I here?
      I would like to save so I can afford to rent closer to the city. So yes money is important.

      However I’m in the position that I can ask for the “double whammy” – have a relationship/friendship that works for me with someone who shows that they care one way or another. If that’s covered I take care of him completely (I’m not going to wax lyrical here about what I’ll do but they’ve all been happy). If I really like a guy and he can be there for me emotionally/like a regular relationship then we can do that. If he’s not able to do that then I want to know he cares about me by him demonstrating he thinks about my wants/needs.

      I stay in contact with my ex-SDs because I genuinely care. I’ve also met an SD who I’ve had a regular relationship with instead.

      For me I don’t see why if money is involved that it suddenly means that there can be no feeling. The presence of money doesn’t mean that feeling can’t exist and that it doesn’t continue to exist after the money stops.

      I’ve been in a relationship where I’ve been the “sugar momma” if on a much lesser scale. I paid for dates and gave him things he needed. Things ended because he didn’t show that he appreciated it or cared about me.

      The ugly truth is that is possible for beautiful women to get paid to date someone they already like. Seduction/sex is the huge weakness in the traditional system for men and women have been using it since the beginning of time to get what they want. I don’t like it but it’s the way the world works at the moment. Men use women in other ways to get sex while not delivering on their promises. Arrangements are nice in that regard – yes the romance is lacking but both people can be honest about what they need. If both people are happy with the arrangement then that should be what counts :).

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Sunshine-“Seduction/sex is the huge weakness in the traditional system for men and women have been using it since the beginning of time to get what they want.”

        That is true. More and more men are waking up though and walking away. I’m a very genuine person and simply sick of the games.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Exactly, Sunshine.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Cryptic – you’re sick of the games, but you don’t mind someone who doesn’t like you being paid to pretend to like you enough to spread their legs open for you, as long as they admit they don’t actually like you?

      • Sunshine says:

        Fair enough

        I do kind of think that all relationships are going to involve any person using what they’ve got to get what they want from other people. It’s interesting though what things are considered taboo to use though.

        For example if you’re nice to someone then that will get them to like you. You’re using your personality to get a favourable response. If you smile at a waitress then you’re being nice but you hope that they’ll be nice on return.

        The difference is that SBs/SDs make their expectations explicit for the most part and are aware that all relationships involve give and take (although clearly some SBs that visit here don’t understand the give part >_>).

      • Sunshine says:

        And yes that sounds very callous and cold. It’s not how I think of things normally but if you break down human interaction it’s what we do naturally.
        I’m going to sound contradictory now but humans also have a great capacity for compassion – people give to charity without letting anyone know with the only benefit being that they themselves know they helped.
        Looking for compassion on this site though is looking to get hurt though. Everyone has their guard up to prevent being taken advantage of. How they might act when they get to know someone and like them is a different story.

  27. cryptic anomaly says:

    Time to play catch up on posts.

    @Maggie- Why would a woman get involved in a NSA relationship with an older married man? You tell me you’re here. I’m not married either by the way. I would speculate that she wants money and most SD’s reportedly are married and older. Age also brings other advantages that a younger woman won’t get with a younger man. I also see the line between escort and SB as a thin one. That said that is only offensive if you want it to be.

    @Elaine- If it wasn’t intended as shaming language then why say it at all? And yes I am intelligent enough to see through shaming language as well as the games women like to play. Why is it a partners responsibility to help financially? I would not help financially in a non Sugar relationship. Nor would I expect that from someone either. But maybe that is my male mind that doesn’t expect or seek hand outs.

    @SBTVC15- Does the SB’s financial needs disappear? Of course not but again if she truly has feelings for the SD why does he need to fix that for her? You also defeat your own argument and prove mine when you say “Or is her infatuation so intense that her financial needs remain, but she forgets them or stops caring about them? So intense she doesn’t mind a wealthy man having sex with her while faking ignorance of her needs and still expecting her to act carefree on their dates — not to mention taking up time she could be spending with someone who DOES want to help her outside the bedroom?”

    So yes for women money is everything and whatever they say they feel for the SD is a ruse. If she truly had feelings for the SD than she would want to make love to him and she wouldn’t be seeing him as a meal ticket. Thanks for being honest even if you thought you were being smart and deceptive.

    @Anonymous-You don’t have to register with the site to state a name. I thought about your hypothetical question in a similar way to your Chef idea. It works both ways, should the Chef still expect payment once he has become a guest and should the Chef be expected to make the meals anyway? Or despite there being this fallacy of equality is everyone only using that term to make themselves feel better while still expecting the best parts of having a Chef and the Chef being paid to do something they like to do for free anyway?

    • Elaine says:

      @ Cryptic

      Is saying “You must be hurt by women” considered “shaming language”?
      But really?!

      For me shaming language is calling people “fat”, “old”, “dumb”, “bald”, “saggy”, “beta”, “mangina”, “John”, “escort” etc.
      Or “grandma SB”, “Pro SB” or telling them to send “pricelists” as respond to a normal question.
      But we know them all, don’t we? They are repeated as broken records by some.

      For me “hurt” is not part of that list though.
      Being hurt is not something offensive or to be ashamed of.
      It is life, and it happens to all of us.
      That is why I try to live the mantra: Let life make you better, not bitter.

      If someone would say to me: “You must be hurt by men because you don’t want “normal” relationships”, I would reflect on that statement and probably even agree.
      Because sugar is safe, it provides clear boundaries and limits the odds of being hurt again.

      But I would NEVER consider it an attempt from people to “shame” me…

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        It’s the typical dismissive shaming language used by women when they hear something they don’t like and can’t counter with an intelligent response. I have never been hurt via Sugar as I am very cynical.

        I don’t consider the term Escort or John to be shaming at all, like I mention in my post above, they are only offensive if you want to see it that way.

      • Elaine says:

        Uhm…ok, let me see if I got it.

        “John” or “escort” is no shaming language, but “being hurt” is…

        Interesting statement!

    • SB TVC15 says:

      @Cryptic – If that’s how you feel about sugar babies, then why on earth are you in the sugar bowl? You might just as well go on Grindr and then complain because everybody’s gay.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @SBTVC- I take it I win? I’m just asking for honesty, you’re all in it for the money. I’m not shaming, it’s ok, just stop skirting around it all with silly excuses that contradict and defeat the points you are trying to make.

      • SB TVC15 says:

        @Cryptic – Yeah, you win. Your prize is that you get to pay women who don’t like you to have sex with you. Enjoy!

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @SBTVC- YAY!!!

      • Anonymous says:


      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I would actually prefer that over a woman who claims to like me yet still wants to be paid to have sex with me. I know you can’t see the hypocrisy in that but I find it very hypocritical, insulting and shallow.

  28. Yes Peter says:

    Hi people. Interesting comments on this blog. Going to get round to completing my profile this week maybe, in the mean time your feedback is appreciated; particularly SBs.

    Budget £2,500 circa $3,750 – don’t think it is a good idea to advertise a budget; High SBs might not be interested, others might bump up their price and or be insulted if you offer something lower.

    Ideal SB hard to describe – elegant woman I can introduce to all aspects of my life without reservation…low key, educated…interesting and with a genuine interest in me…not looking for actors – don’t like the idea of her putting up with me just for the money.

    • Elaine says:


      Don’t know if your profile is empty, or just waiting for approval?
      If it is empty indeed: that is not going to land you any quality SBs I’m afraid…

      About the budget; why don’t you just put the “practical” budget range, and eventually surprise her in a pleasant way in the future with more?
      Or just put “negotiable” and discuss it later?


    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Hey there, for a start more money doesn’t buy you a better SB or Sugar Experience. The women with the higher price tags often come with a Diva complex and huge self entitlement among other faults. The women who want Minimal to Neg/Practical are just as attractive and even more attractive than the High and Substantial women and a lot more down to Earth and more reliable.

      So don’t buy into the idea that more money gets you better. It doesn’t work that way. Also don’t fall for the rinsers who demand payment for first meets or get to know you meetings. Agree on an arrangement first and payment on consummating that arrangement.

      Also don’t get personally involved, regardless of what they will tell you Sugar is not a relationship, the women want the money and you want what you want so just see it as a trade.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Cryptic – do you believe it’s possible to have a meaningful connection with an SB without getting “personally involved”? If not, do you honestly believe that what you’re advising is an actual sugar arrangement/relationship or more of an escort/john situation?

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @lovely – How can you have a meaningful relationship with someone you pay? I’m just being brutally honest here. I don’t buy what SB’s are saying on here about caring for their SD’s or for that matter caring about men at all.

        It’s all about the money lets be honest.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Then you must not be a very good SD. That’s truly not meant as an attack; I just don’t know how else to put it. I get so much more out of this than just money, which is why I’ve had such pleasant experiences, and likely why I have the philosophy I have about sugar.

        If I was with an SD for long enough for us to connect on a real level and something happened to his finances that meant he couldn’t be an SD at the same level, I wouldn’t see that as cause to drop him – I like him, care about him, have fun with him, and would want to be there to support him and serve as a distraction for him during this time of stress – just as he’d always done for me.

        Mentorship, network connections, broadening my horizons even further, and making great friends are just a few. I’m sorry you feel like your experiences lead you to believe women don’t care at all and that we’re all just pretending, but that’s really not how this is supposed to work and it isn’t how it always works for everyone.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        ROFLMAO Love the non attack attacks. I am so cynical about anything SB’s say. Just be honest it’s about the money, that is all I am asking and expecting.

        And the only reason you attack me (despite you saying you’re not) is because I have grown increasingly indifferent to women and you know you don’t have any influence.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Influence on you? Oh, honey. I’m not looking for influence, Cryptic – I have far more material goals in terms of things to attain in life than influence over you or anyone else on a blog. It matters not at all to me if you’re indifferent to women or not – you’re just some dude; I don’t really know you. So no, I said that because that’s the only explanation that makes sense, not because I’m mad that you’re indifferent to women or SBs or sugar. Just don’t peddle your unfortunate experiences as infallible fact to people new to SA when they simply are a product of your own life events. Because having your “indifferent” cynical viewpoint is absolutely not going to help him attract the type of woman he’s looking for – a quality SB. I’ll leave that there.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Lovely- I was giving proper advice to a newbie. We know there are lots of scammers out there. Also paying a lot for a SB does not mean you get a good one.

        Being cynical is the best thing to be on this site.

      • Catcher 22 says:

        Of course it is possible to have or develop a very meaningful, sometimes loving, sugar relationship. It is not all just about the allowance/gifts and the intimacy. Prime example would be former blogger @KennaKenna. If her posts were before your time here, refer to her posts iin previous blog topics of early this year.

      • Elaine says:


        Being cynical is the best way to attract equally cynical SBs…
        And thus getting more cynical because of all the cynical SBs you meet.

        This is called a selffullfilling prophecy…

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Elaine – That isn’t correct at all. Being naive is the best way to attract cynical SB’s who want to rinse a man rather than provide anything.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Peter, welcome.

      Your range is reserved for the most stellar of SBs – brains, beauty, kindness, sensuality, fun, ambitious, etc. If you’re smart about your selection process and you’re a quality guy, you’ll find her. With some exceptions, I tend not to make time for SDs who are listed as negotiable – they’re never actually “openly negotiable to any amount” as they claim and it simply invites another negotiation match of wit that I don’t have the patience for. Personally, I like a man who doesn’t beat around the bush. “Negotiable” gives the opposite message for me.

      I agree that not putting a budget at all may be your best bet – you will not show up in search results from women who use the budget filter to find a pot SD – which may mean you’ll fly under the radar of those who are more focused on money than is ideal. When you’ve completed your profile, let us know and perhaps you can get some feedback then – as of now, it’s blank.

  29. Anonymous says:

    Cuz of the spoiled pussy?

  30. Elaine says:

    Bloggers, I need your advice please?

    Actually Skyping with the Linked guy I mentioned before, he is an attractive, single, young lawyer.
    So to say; a IRL situation.

    Problem is; how do I subtile mention I only want a sugar relationship?
    I never really had to discuss this with SDs I meet here, they know what is expected on beforehand.

    But this guy of course has no clue, and since there is 4 hours travel time involved to meet, I don’t really feel to meet first and then bring it up to find out he is shocked or whatever….

    • Anonymous says:

      Send your true and tried menu of choices to him upfront. The menu for hourly, nightly, daily, monthly rates. He will get the hint.

    • Anonymous says:

      Why is it that you ONLY want a sugar arrangement? What is wrong with dating an attractive, single, young lawyer in real life without any sugar?

      • Elaine says:

        @Anon, (whichever Anon you might be)

        What is wrong with only want to sugar date?

        I don’t feel any need for explaining my reasons for that on blog.
        But let’s say that if I wanted to date young attractive guys in a normal relationships, I could do that as much as I like. But I don’t like.
        Have had the marriage, have had the “normal” relationships.
        Been there, done that.

        Have you ever questioned the SDs here for their reasons for sugardating?

      • Male says:

        Why don’t you give a normal relationship a go with the guy. He’ll probably not be interested paying an allowance from the get go unless you are a perfect 10 and out of his league…then he may consider and ultimately say no after using you for sex a couple of times if he’s clever.

        Give it a go, who knows you may find a genuine life long long term partner to fulfill you in a meaningful way on a permanent basis. don’t be so short sighted.

      • DontlikeSDterm says:

        To a certain extent, I’m not sure there’s much difference. In a pure dating scenario, he pays for your ticket to see him, for the dates, for trips, etc.

    • Anonymous says:

      Of he doesn’t get it then fly to him. Pack your rolling pin and cast iron skillet with you and whack him over the head.

      If he were a sub he will love it. But if he were a dom, he will rip your clothes and rape you. You will then have two choices…report the rape or ask him for some money and then can come back and tell us that you loved his violent lovemaking.

    • maggie says:

      that´s the same thing with getting a POT from an high end event or everywhere else IRL . How do you break the conversion ?
      For me could be easy as I would explain how I gave up normal dating and why I am in the sugar bowl and getting from there. Might try the same ? Tell him your IRL decisions that made you only dating in the Sugar world ?

    • Avatar the Movie says:

      Now you can appreciate the finesse required by an SD to find an SB IRL.

      • Elaine says:


        Yes, understand that completely!

        That is why I have never even considered or tried IRL myself.
        This just came up when he contacted me on Linked some days ago.

        But offering sugar still might be easier as asking for it?

      • Avatar the Movie says:

        yes never thought of it that way, offering would be easier than asking… I usually hinted at…. wouldn’t it be great if you could work less and spend more time with me…. maybe you can think of an opening angle

    • Anonymous says:

      You have nothing to lose by telling him you only Sugar Date ,and that you would like to be his SB.

      He will most likely respond by ???? WTF ? That will open up the floor to educate him on the joys of the Sugar Bowl.

      He’ll either bolt –or maybe will agree with us that Sugaring is better than IRL dating

      • Elaine says:

        @Anon (….?)

        Maybe I should clarify something;
        In my part of the world sugar dating as such is absolutely not common, or a well known concept.
        So this makes it harder to come up with it, probably first will have to explain what sugar is, which doesn’t really help bringing it up occasionally.

        We have a mistress/courtesan culture and extramarital affairs are very common, but sugar and single men are a different matter.

    • Kid A says:


      If you only want a sugar relationship then you have nothing to lose by just being up front. You can either ask if he’s heard of this site, or be even more to the point by stating that you are seeking a sugar daddy. Worst outcome is that he says no dice.

    • Anonymous says:

      @elaine, Anon’s advice is poor!! Send a guy you met on LinkedIn your prices??? nuts to that, if you think you like him go meet him and decide how you want to handle if you think you want to spend time with him, sending a LinkedIn guy prices, just says, “hey, I am a whore you got cash, send money and we’ll talk”. Not a recipe for success if you are interested inthe guy

  31. Fake Hot SD Picture says:

    always curious why FunDude posts here. I wonder if his fake gf approves of it.

  32. Anonymous says:


    “Or, is trollin’ too much fun?”


  33. avatar says:

    Claro que si

  34. moniker says:

    yeah this anonymous thing sucks — a hijacked picture and a fake name is so much better.

  35. Anon says:

    Regular posters do you work for SA? How do you find the time to do this all day otherwise

  36. DontlikeSDterm says:

    A little daily humor from someone online now but who has had a profile since 2013 (I’ve never seen it before)

    I would like a sugar daddy to help with bills, tuition, and other forms of pampering such as gifts, travel, or meals. I do not want anything but a friendship. We can talk on the phone, text, email and go out to lunch sometimes but that’s all I’m looking for.

    Not sure how I do the travel over lunch ….

  37. Anonymous says:

    I am going Anonymous. I encourage others to do so as well until SA removes this fucking Anonymous from the blog. I am going to keep my avatar for a bit but then will remove the avatar and go totally Anonymous.

    Have fun! I will. 😉

    • Jaybird923 says:

      lol well have fun. I’ll be off the grid for a while. I’ll check in after 6pm to see how your protest against anonymous is going.

    • Anonymous says:

      Here I was thinking that you’re a handsome dude, you may for all I know. Forgive my ignorance if the avatar is the pic of a famous person… I don’t recognise many of those.

  38. Anonymous says:

    FunDude says:
    August 25, 2015 at 6:21 am
    I see little tangible difference between an escort and SB besides basically a lower volume.

    There can also be the marginal “girlfriend” experience.

    This is a someone who has been to or sees escorts. He has also been wth ‘SB’s’ and views them the same way but as lower volume and cheaper for the experience options. THAT is how many of the jerks on this site see arrangements. BEWARE of them and avoid like the plague.

  39. SB says:

    Weening yourself away from a regular income from a half descent man.

    been in an arrangement with this guy for some time which will soon be coming to an end. He is thoroughly nice and good looking and I consider him more a boyfriend with guaranteed financial benefits. I intended to sugar date for a limited period of time to end just about now and am trying to reconcile going back into the IRL dating scene with a substantial reductions in upscale experience and hard income.

    is the sugar dating scene a irrecoverable addition for us? how to re-submerge into the ‘real world’

  40. lovelynyours says:

    Interesting hypothesis. Thoughts?


    • Jaybird923 says:

      I can see this being true. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

    • Really interesting.

      Whistle blower, maybe.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        A whistle blower would’ve just exposed the fact that they weren’t actually deleting the profiles after they received the fee. This was very malicious and vindictive. The hacker exposed millions of people for no reason. They didn’t have to release the information

      • lovelynyours says:

        Well, there was a reason. Whoever it was wanted to take down the company and this was THE way to do it. Any business where human relationships play a key role must inherently be built on a trust-based model. Once you decimate the trust, you decimate the company. There was lots of collateral damage that arose as a result, but ultimately to accomplish their goal, they had to leak the data. Not saying it was right at all, but for what they wanted to accomplish, it was necessary.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I don’t think it was a valid reason to play russian roulette with people’s lives. I sincerely doubt the reasoning behind the attack. It’s a little flimsy to me.

        Was AM underhanded and unscrupulous for taking money to perform a service and not doing? Yes. Wouldn’t exposing the fact that they were doing this enough? The punishment seems a little excessive for the crime. Especially when you consider all the unnecessary causalities in this little vendetta.

      • lovelynyours says:

        The reasoning and the goal are two different things. I agree with you in that I don’t believe they did this because AM didn’t delete data. I believe they did this because they wanted to take the company down, period. The fact that AM didn’t delete data was one of the reasons, but not the only reason, why they wanted to take them down. Decimating trust was the only way they could permanently accomplish that, in my opinion. Extreme, but effective. Simply whistleblowing would have garnered backlash and ire, but it would have been a dent, at best. And probably not a very well-publicized one, either.

    • Josh says:

      AM is an as idiotic s company as they come. Charge $19 to erase your data and then not even do it?

      Burn in legal hell, Ashley Madison, BURN.

  41. Ladeee says:

    A lot of useful information here … Thank you

  42. Tammy says:

    Thanks this has helped lot

  43. Tammy says:

    Thanks this has helped lot

  44. Josh says:

    Most men have been duped into believing that escorts/prostitutes are bad because they want him for his money.

    Most men are duped into believing that pair-bonding is the preferred way to go, and the women who want to pair-bond with them are somehow better than escorts/prostitutes.

    Most women seek men’s resources. While escort/prostitute aims for the wallet, the pair-bonding woman aims for his wallet, mind, time, attention, house, car and the rest of the tangible and intangible resources he possesses.

    Laws and “moral” arguments against prostitution are women-serving schemes.

  45. Jaybird923 says:

    Not so random observations:
    1) We no longer hear mention of the hot blonde 23 year old girlfriend
    2) We see an increase of his participation on the blog
    3) We see a return of his vitriol against women
    4) We see a decline in post about beta man

    Logical conclusions:
    1) It’s all a coincidence
    2) He couldn’t keep the mask in place long enough to hide who he is
    3) He never wore the mask and hot blonde decided that being a young “hot” “Alpha” doctor wasn’t enough for her to grin and bear it anymore.
    4) There never was a hot blonde.

  46. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Elaine-“My God, how can you NOT want to take care of (and help), someone who genuinely cares for you, and instead have no problems doing so for someone who gives a sh*t and obviously plays a role.
    That is pretty twisted…”

    There are many ways to care for someone, if money is the only way you see as caring than that is sad and twisted. Also what happens when the SD stops caring with money? The SB would leave. Lets be honest, SB’s use the Relationship word to try and sugar coat the truth and make themselves feel better.

    Sugar is a trade, money for affection. If the SB actually cared about the SD she wouldn’t need the Sugar.

    I also agree with Fundude, the shaming language was most amusing.

    • FunDude says:


      There is no “caring” for the man if the only concern is money.

      See how much she “cares” when you stop giving her an allowance.

      The “caring” stuff is just bullshit.

      Its an emotional attempt to get men to give more money to the woman who is manipulating them. They don’t want men looking at this as a “transaction” because they will size up the women more harshly and will likely give far less money.

    • maggie says:

      you are going out of context when you have quote her . She was making a point between being an escort and SB.
      @Fun Dude , @ cryptic
      what is in your opinion the difference between and escort and a SB ?

      • maggie says:

        and why on Earth should a woman ( lady, girl or whatever ) should get involved in a NSA relationship with a man , in his 40s,50s that is married ??
        When there are so many 20s studs to ride in an NSA relationship ?
        Are you serious guys ???

      • FunDude says:

        I see little tangible difference between an escort and SB besides basically a lower volume.

        There can also be the marginal “girlfriend” experience.

    • Elaine says:


      It wasn’t at all ment as shaming language, I just really can’t understand your point of view in this.
      Thought you were more intelligent and would see through the “shaming language” broken record mantra from @mr “Shaming Language Himself” NotSoFunDude.

      These kind of reactions can only come from people who see sugar as a sort of prostitution, and SBs as escorts.
      Some men here seem to suffer from the Madonna-whore complex……

      If I talk for myself, would I want to help someone I care about and who cares about me if I had the possibilities?
      Yes I would, especially if I could.
      Financially or otherwise.
      Would I want to help someone who gives a sh*t and only pretends?
      No, I wouldn’t.

      I can say that I genuinely care of my (ex) SDs, and don’t feel at all related to the general opinion exposed here by some about sugar relationships as an exchange of sex for money.

      Without going into details, I can only say to be very grateful my experiences are different.
      As are my SD’s.

    • SB TVC15 says:

      “If the SB actually cared about the SD she wouldn’t need the Sugar.”

      So if an SB finds an SD she likes, her financial needs magically disappear without him giving her any money?

      Or is her infatuation so intense that her financial needs remain, but she forgets them or stops caring about them? So intense she doesn’t mind a wealthy man having sex with her while faking ignorance of her needs and still expecting her to act carefree on their dates — not to mention taking up time she could be spending with someone who DOES want to help her outside the bedroom?

      Sheesh. SDs can be just as delusional as SBs, if not more.

      • Anonymous says:

        @ SB TVC, Elaine and Cryptic

        Interesting exchange of opinions. If you have a moment, can you please answer a hypothetical question for me.

        Let us not talk about sugar, intimacy and friendship.
        Instead let us talk about something as simple as a private chef. We can easily agree that private chef deserves compensation for the effort and time, we can easily agree that the private chef should be treated with respect and decency. But if the private chef becomes a friend and a buddy, he starts to be a regular guest in the house and is treated like a complete equal, should he still expect full payment when he goes to the kitchen to create one of his miracles?

        And I have not yet registered, so for now I am Another Anonymous.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Cooking is how he make a living. If he is truly a guest and a friend he shouldn’t have to cook his own supper. How many people do you invite to your home and expect them to go in the kitchen and whip something up? If he was really an equal he would show up and a meal would already be prepared. Instead you’re pretending to see him as a friend/guest but you’re still treating him like an employee. Yes he should be compensated.

  47. FunDude says:

    Economic paper about the “fertility” premium among women:



    Woman who rides the cock carousel in her 20s while pursuing a career will have to:

    1) Get a lower quality male in her 30s than 20s to commit to her
    2) Pay a “premium” to a higher quality male to marry her considering her declining fertility prospects.

    • maggie says:

      you are hilarious.
      get for an example a girl in her 20s walking in a 5* event on the red carpet in a dashing dress, looking like a Victoria Secret model , and then get a 30s something lady looking amazing astonishing and has background back in her life you already envy before you even get a chance to say hello.
      Getting a lower quality male ?
      Well maybe you have been a woman in another life the i would get your opinion validated , that’s why you can make decisions and strait forward assumptions ( or else you are just guessing ) on how is to be a woman “who rides cock in her 20 while perusing her career ” .
      Yeah.i will go with you are just guessing and making assumptions based on your experience on how is to be a woman.

    • SadGirl says:

      FunDude, I didn’t ride cock in my 20s. I stuck by my boyfriend for years after he lost his job and I supported the both of us. His birthday just passed and I surprised him by paying off his student loan. He became irritated and didn’t even thank me before getting off the phone. We have not spoken since then and I go to sleep each night wishing I had never met him. I can identify with the men in the sugarworld and IRL who do SO MUCH for their girlfriends or sugar babies and get hollow praise.

      PS: what do you mean paying a premium to get married??

  48. FunDude says:

    @Cryptic Anomaly

    Your analysis is very sane and accurate. A sugar “relationship” is NOT a very different relationship than a genuine relationship. Ergo, it should be determined as more of a transaction by the SD. He needs to determine how the SB adds “value” to his life if he gives her his hard earned money.

    Differences between a real relationship and “sugar” include:

    1) Real relationship isn’t contingent on an “allowance” paid at regular intervals. With my current gf, I will take her on vacation to Cancun and spend money going out with her but our relationship isn’t contingent on me giving her a direct source of money every few weeks/month.

    2) Woman genuinely wants to be with the man and doesn’t worry about how much money she is getting out of the “relationship”.

    3) Many of the sugar “relationships” have women who would never want to have sex/marry the guy paying money in the first place. She is only doing that due to the money.

    Therefore, the SD needs to recognize this and act accordingly.

    Furthermore, a woman can switch from a sugar “relationship” into a real relationship with a man. The difference becomes obvious when it happens.

    • maggie says:

      A real ” relationship ” and let´s take marriage in consideration. What is the difference between a wife and a SB ? Money ?
      Old good friend of mine ( rich as +100 mil and incoming some more) told me that as far as money is concerned his wife is costing him more than 3 SBs all put together ( I am assuming on high allowance as he is not cheap ).
      Yeah…relationship..like marriage, SB-SD, they are not real…or I am getting this all wrong ?

      • FunDude says:

        A wife had tangible benefits in the past. With no fault divorce, those benefits have dwindled considerably for successful men.

        On a theoretical level, a wife is supposed to be there for her husband through “thick and thin” till “death do us part”.

        Its not supposed to be just about money but actually caring for the guy when he has “tough times”.

        We all know thats bullshit these days and the vast majority of American women wouldn’t be with the guy if he lost his money.

        Ergo, the wife thing isn’t a big benefit in the vast majority of cases over a SB. She is basically a more expensive SB for 90% of guys.

        They think things are “good” when they are doing well financially and have money. Once they lose the money, the wife “loses respect for them”.

  49. Krissy says:

    Not sure why its so difficult to find a SD here.most profiles seem fake or am i wrong?

  50. FunDude says:

    Great article by Roosh’s website about the number of obese outnumber of the number of fat.

    This is especially true among women. I am SHOCKED at how many fat younger women there are these days. Pathetic times.


  51. FunDude says:


    That is correct that men are willing to pay for sex more than women. The question becomes what is the “price point” men are willing to pay for the average SB and for how long.

    We are learning that the vast majority of SDs aren’t willing to pay large sums of money for extended “allowances”.

    Ergo, the stand off between the SB and SD expectations.

    Unfortunately, a lot of women are out of shape on here and quite unattractive. I can do better than >80% of the women on this website by just using POF for free.

    I am NOT kidding on this statement.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      A lot of women see Sugar as a relationship. It’s not a relationship it’s a transaction. Relationships don’t involve one party paying another. This being the case the one paying is the client and will seek to have the arrangement work around their needs.

      The one who wants to be paid can provide that or keep holding out for the fairy tale.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I think the fact that you live in a country where prostitution is legal has deeply colored the way you view relationships in general.

      • Elaine says:


        I think the fact that he has been hurt by women has deeply coloured the way he views relationships in general.

        I don’t think it has ANYTHING to do with prostitution being legal or not.
        I am raised in a country where it is legal, and live in a country where it is illegal.
        Let me tell you, the only difference is income tax being paid.

        My God, how can you NOT want to take care of (and help), someone who genuinely cares for you, and instead have no problems doing so for someone who gives a sh*t and obviously plays a role.
        That is pretty twisted…

        “…The sugarbowl is full of damaged people damaging other damaged people…”

      • FunDude says:


        That is a correct assessment.


        The nonsense about him being “hurt” is typical feminist shaming language.

        You need to come harder than that. This stuff has become too obvious and doesn’t work anymore.

        Women better prove their worth on here or get nothing. They can’t just assume men will just throw money at them for being “fabulous”.

        Many of the women on here are out of shape and have a bad attitude.

        Ergo, they get SHIT.

      • FunDude says:


        The “caring” part is contingent on the SD giving the SB money.

        Ergo, there is no genuine “care” for the guy.

        A real relationship doesn’t involve an “allowance”.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Elaine I wasn’t referring to that actually but to the fact that he insist on calling himself a client and the fact that he makes comparisons to the money/effort spent on SBs/regular woman not being worth it when he can get XYZ for this much at the brothel.

        His preferences make no sense to me but neither does the woman who won’t date the nice guy because he’s too boring, but will jump through hoops for the guy that slaps her around and treats her like crap. Everyone must do what works best for them

      • Elaine says:


        Well, as I said before; a madonna-whore complex….

  52. Sugar Baby says:

    I am brand new to SA, and brand new to the SB/SD world. If anyone would be so kind as to give me some suggestions on making a successful profile, or just general advice? It would be much appreciated 🙂

  53. Josh says:


    I like your photos as well as profile. Best of success!!!

  54. Josh says:

    Let’s tweak the scenario a little…

    Rhetorical question:

    If an SD came along and gave you guaranteed $XXXX/month (where $XXXX is more than what you expected to get on SA) on a monthly basis (and NOT on per meet basis) and gave you an option to have any kind of arrangement with him 1) involving sex, 2) platonic, or 3) don’t meet at all, what kind of arrangement would you propose?

    The SD is neutral-looking but has great personality, and has communicated his strong preference for #1.

    NOTHING you do or don’t do WILL increase or decrease the monthly allowance. It is just there…month after month after month…say for 3-5 years.

    So if you chose the no personal meeting option, he is neither going to cut you off too soon, nor he will refuse to extend the arrangement.

    If you chose the sex option, he is neither going to increase your allowance along the way, nor will he extend the arrangement even for a single month.

    Again, there’s absolutely NO pressure or obligation to do more than what YOU want to do, why would you choose one or the other option?

    • Sugar Baby says:

      Likely I would choose to have a platonic relationship, however I would not be opposed to developing a sexual relationship with this hypothetical man. Personality shines through appearance.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      Now that he has a great personality I choose the sex option. Why? Because now I can work off all the pent up sexual energy in bed instead of doing cardio. :-))

    • SouthernSB says:

      I pick the sex option because duh…sex!!

    • lovelynyours says:

      #1. No brainer. Here’s my reasoning.

      1. He’s gone out of his way to make me happy by offering me more than my expectation was.

      2. He has (oddly) no expectation from me. He’s not demanding anything, he’s not pushing me for anything, he’s not shaming me for doing X over Y. I find it a bit odd, but I also think it says refreshing volumes about the type of man he is – a gentleman type.

      3. With a stellar personality, I don’t need a hottie. Personality is absolutely key.

      So with all that, if #1 would make him the happiest, why wouldn’t I give him #1? He’s given me more than I expected – the very least I can do as an SB is make him happy in return. This seems pretty straightforward. I’d also do #1 BECAUSE there’s no pressure or obligation, and I’d be appreciative of that.

      Besides, the sex AND the arrangement would be that much better with a) him being absolutely 110% certain that I’m sleeping with him because I want to and not out of some unspoken duty, invisible pressure, or visible pressure, and b) me being genuinely attracted to him, being the kind of guy that he is.

  55. Reb. says:

    I see SDs on the site who are PREMIUM, yet haven’t logged in months-years. I wonder if they just bought yearly subscriptions or are getting charged monthly and not realizing it.. lol

  56. Josh says:

    With the number of great-looking women wanting platonic, I have an idea that I am thinking about trying out with them…

    The reason I am on SA is because I am looking for women much younger than me, and what better way to pick up a woman than with a beautiful woman in tow; who understands the SB space but is not willing to go all the way. Give them a decent hourly wage, lavish dates, and some kind of bonus to work as my wingwomen.

    This way, they get what they want…money for pretty much nothing…and I get to find an SB in real life outside of SA. Their other option is to wither away from SA…disappointed.

    • SorchaD says:

      I’m great-looking but not seeking out platonic. Perhaps for the first meeting or two being platonic would be reasonable but after that length of time I feel it would become a rather pointless ‘arrangement’.

      • zito says:

        @Sorcha…yours is one of the better profiles I have read in a while, I laughed out loud at the ear muff line

    • rembodler says:

      I think the “platonic-looking” never had an arrangement, so they never gave a thought as to what exactly they will do with the SD when or if they ever get one….

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I’ve chatted with a few Platonic Only SB’s and they truly believe that this site is all about men just wanting company over dinner. One of these women was even against the idea of holding hands, hugging etc especially in public so she wasn’t even willing to fulfill the arm candy part of being a SB.

        Not many of these women last on here so I can only presume that they learn quickly that men want a lot more than just their mere presence.

    • Josh says:

      Well I tried one of them.

      She wants to kick start her free money regimen by demanding that I get her car fixed before she could go out with me to make money in a legitimate fashion. I know the outcome. I fix her car and she would poof…Sigh…I tried…Next!!!

    • GeorgiaPeach12 says:

      Funny Josh. I was just discussing the same thing with a male friend of mine. No money exchanged with us, since we’re friends, but it might be interesting to give it a try. He’s quite the looker, great personality and draws in the folks. May can meet some new faces that way. Can’t hurt to try.

    • Josh says:


      Who is the “wingperson” you or him? or are you both wingperson for each other?

  57. Josh says:

    Rhetorical question:

    If an SD came along and gave you guaranteed $XXXX/month (where $XXXX is more than what you expected to get on SA) on a monthly basis (and NOT on per meet basis) and gave you an option to have any kind of arrangement with him 1) involving sex, 2) platonic, or 3) don’t meet at all, what kind of arrangement would you propose?

    The SD is neutral-looking, that is, you neither like him too much or don’t like him at all.

    Why would you choose one or the other option? Again, there’s absolutely NO pressure or obligation to do more than what YOU want to do, and the SD would not be retracting his monthly allowance for X number of years.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      What about his personality?

    • Josh says:

      Everything is “neutral” about him. You neither like him, his looks, his personality…nor dislike any of his qualities.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        That’s unfortunate. I’m going to have to go with platonic under those circumstances. I can deal with neutral looks but not personality.

      • SorchaD says:

        Ooh. Same as with Jaybird. If he were completely neutral with exception of personality I would definitely not be able to keep things platonic 😉

        But if he was just ‘meh’ in the personality department, definitely platonic.

        I’m a bit of a sapiosexual, and I need a great personality in order to have enjoyable intimacy.

      • SouthernSB says:

        I agree with @Jay, and go totally platonic. I have to at least be fond of a man to sleep with him, otherwise he goes into my friend file.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      I know it’s rhetorical but still an interesting discussion. A woman who thinks that she will be able to get even more from the deal that is already offered will choose the sex option. She will think that her body will gain her more in the long run.

      Likewise a woman who likes sex will also pic the sex option as she gets sex and money. The money being an added perk if cash is her fetish.

      A woman who likes the idea of company and dates will choose platonic and likewise gain extra on top of what is being offered via dinners and outings.

      A woman who just wants the cash without being bothered in any other way at all will choose option 3 and just email him/cam with him etc.

    • Josh says:

      NOTHING she does or does not do WILL NO increase or decrease the monthly allowance. It is just there…month after month after month…say for 3-5 years.

      So if she chose the no personal meeting option, he is neither going to cut her off too soon, nor he will refuse to extend the arrangement.

      If she chose the sex option, he is neither going to increase her allowance along the way, nor will he extend the arrangement even for a single month.


      • cryptic anomaly says:

        If it were me I would pick never meet. It would be easiest and the money is guaranteed for 3-5 years. The other options are a bit like saying you will go into work on your day off for no pay or promise of other rewards while also not being at risk of losing your job if you don’t turn up.

  58. Josh says:

    “Because that leaves me to realize I am nothing more than a piece of ass.”

    Good that you realized. Most women are NOTHING more than a piece of ass. However, some are worth their weight in gold, and then some…but only some of them.

    Same can be said about men that most men are nothing more than the resources they can bring to bear. I have no problem with that. 😉

    • Eloquence says:

      @ Josh

      As much as I abhor you, I fancy you in the same breathe. Abhor is a harsh word in and of itself. I know you bring great insight at times as well as great controversy. Yet, I respect you as a person, even if I do not agree with you. At times, I have greatly laughed at your iconic statements that exuded a brilliant mind. Who can falter for what comes natural? It is drawing something out, one way or another.

      Thank you Josh for not pulling my wording out and berating me in a greater extent during my momentary affliction, as I worded it personally and not in another stance. I took it personally. Thank goodness this is an anonymous blog, right?

      I am not just a “piece.” I was trying to make a point. I digress.

  59. Eloquence says:

    @ Ceyptic

    You make me sad. Because that leaves me to realize I am nothing more than a piece of ass. My feelings are of no good to me and that I am still in a fairy tale, so why in the hell should I not be like the twitter and blogging women. Why don’t I take the hint by now and fake it and make the money they do and laugh really loud when you walk a3way that I got what I wanted and you got what you wanted and if you cant give me what I want financiallyu then why should I bother with you? That is such a horrid way to view it, but maybe that is the hurdle I am learning how to surpass. If that’s all it is, then I need to learn how to be a very good actor because everything else is futile and of no gain to me when I walk away and my feelings are hurt. I should flaunt my ass with the utmost dominance that I dare you to be well endowed and leave me I a state of non recovery because you just blew my mind and I am on my knees begging for more by the pure of state of no feelings whatsoever, beyond what you could sexually inflict. huh?

    • Eloquence says:

      grrrr… spell checker…

      @ Cryptic.. was my intent.

      No disrespect intended there, Sir,

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        It cuts both ways. Am I just a source of money? A walking ATM? It seems that women see men that way. I’m not interested in being a source of money for a woman. It might sound ironic but I would actually prefer she pretend to like me to get to the money as opposed to genuinely like me but at the same time not want to be around me without the cash flow.

        I guess that is just me perhaps but it’s the way I see things. I am a very genuine person and I don’t like games and double standards.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Cryptic You would rather give money to a woman that pretends to like instead of the woman that genuinely likes you? Why? Because if she likes you she doesn’t suffer enough for the money? That makes no logical sense to me.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Jay-It’s about keeping the game and the feelings separate. I have a problem with a woman who genuinely likes me using me for money. I might end up genuinely liking her as well but in the back of my mind there will always be the thought that she is playing a 2 sided game, if she likes me so much than why can’t she be around me without the cash?

        At least with a woman who is pretending I know it’s a game, I know she’s fake and my feelings aren’t ever an issue.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Why can’t it be that she genuinely likes you but needs financial help instead of her being paid to hang out with you?

        If you’re not looking for something long term, I understand the need to be disengaged. I personally would rather help someone who likes me than some one who hates my guts but pretends to care for me. But to each his own…

      • Anonymous says:

        personally, I think it MUST be a case of genuine care for it to last longer than a month or two

    • gentleman soul says:

      MUAA -is the best way to roll together (MUtually Assured Affection)

      Our personal circumstances determine what we are capable of giving . I prefer that my Baby adore me but the reality for me isn’t conducive to building that trust and affection. I can not date in public or spend much time together so I attract an SB who is down for a stop and pop. An escort model would work except I don’t want to be one of a crowd in her vagina. So my SB needs my help as I do hers. She is a busy girl and does not have the time or inclination to multi-fuck. There is no heart or soul connection though.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        That’s kind of sad. Hopefully your situation changes in the near future and you can truly have the type of arrangements you’d prefer.

      • gentleman soul says:

        Thanks Jay. Actually my issues are a result of being married with a tight leash in place . It wasn’t always that way . So the only way Sugaring will become easier is to lose the marriage . That is not an option on my part so I will probably hang up my Burner phone ,lose the profile ,and retire at some time in the near future.

  60. PetiteSB says:

    Suddenly there are more traffic to my profile – more viewing, receiving messages while I didn’t make any change in my profile, interesting.
    And just found my pot back in action, renewed his membership after declaring to stay away from SA, it lasted only a few days. Surely I have been active after meeting him because there hasn’t been any arrangement or even a talk of it while we message each other almost daily. While it’s totally no problem of him being active, I still feel a bit sad 🙁 which I know I shouldn’t and am wondering what made him go back – I am not stringing his interest enough, did something wrong to turn him off… Just grumbling.

    • Tierny says:

      Honey, I have had that happen to me before to. There are ones who lie and say they deleted their account and are disgusted with the site, only to find them back again weeks later. Have you ever heard a guy tell you how much he really really likes you, then his actions do not match with his words? Watch for action – not talk. This applies to regular dating as well as sugar dating. Stop blaming yourself.

    • rembodler says:

      Unfortunately, after being on SA one learns to trust nobody until the arrangement is consummated. There could be promises made on either side, with one person being serious and the other never even thinking of going thru
      The good rule that served me well – if she does not answer texts for a couple of days but logs into her SA account, I delete her phone number and move on.

      • SorchaD says:

        @rembodler This is great advice. I’ve had similar events happen to me and its always so disheartening. We must keep looking, we will find a gem soon enough!

      • rembodler says:

        Truth be told, I like to be in the arrangement more then “look for a gem”.
        Unfortunately, the “dishonest” strategy of playing the numbers, making tons of promises and then go “silent” on people that you “promised, but do not delivered” works best. The “honest” strategy – of making one deal at the top of your “allowance range”, canceling all others and waiting for your POT to come thru – will most likely backfire and you will have to start all over again.
        SA is not perfect, but it is the best there is.

  61. Anonymous says:


  62. Josh says:

    Until they remove this Anonymous crap may be all of us should start posting as Anonymous as well.

  63. Jj says:

    Just a matter of time!!!!

  64. Promise says:

    So there’s a bounty on the AM hackers heads about $400,000USD

  65. Jaybird923 says:

    Hi every sugar daddy,

    “I am humbly asking to be your sugar baby please. I am A University student and i really need a sugar daddy that will assist me financially and i can help him in any way he wants (sexual resources) , I am 24 and i want a successful life. I promise to know my place if you married or not. as part of the package i would like the following: a car , monthly allowance, hairdo , school books and stationery.”


    • zito says:

      no thanks…next lol

    • Jaybird923 says:

      I forgot to mention this isn’t from a profile. Some chick posted this on one of the old blogs with her email address attached.

    • lovelynyours says:

      She sounds stupid. And we all know how I feel about stupid people. I’m hoping english simply isn’t her first language, but even still – I don’t see how this would be appealing, or even legit. She’s not even being selective – “Hi every sugar daddy, I am humbly asking to be your sugar baby please”?

      • SorchaD says:


      • Eloquence says:

        Last post for the night from “Muah” for the night. Do you know how many times I have been asked in conversation via the internet if English is my first language? Yeppers, case and point, way more times than I ever thought possible. lol.

        Once I reply “Yes”, believe it or not, English IS my first language, I just trail off in the distance with s sneaky suspicion that anything else I might try to convey to them would fly right over their hairline, like an airplane and I lose interest. Now,, is that age? No, they are my age or younger and sometimes even older. Why do you think I love my blog family so much from a distance? you can argue, insult, make fun of, bicker to no oblivion on subject matters and in the end, if anyone else tries to afflict an insult…you rally as a dysfunctional family made of the sweetest functionality that protects their own. I am making the form of a big heart with my fingers/hands at all of you, if you could see it. 🙂 Good night.

    • gentleman soul says:

      welll-the hairdo I could spring for –and maybe the books ,as long as she isn’t an English major. She looks like a movie start -right ? At least she better .

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Gentleman she didn’t link her profile or include a link to pictures she just posted the message along with her email address

    • Eloquence says:

      she is young, un-experienced possibly with real life encounters and hopes someone can read between the lines to be good to her. She has no other avenues and she is reaching out in the only way she knows how with the voice she has. She possibly has been hurt and/or abused either verbally, mentally or physically to “know her place.” Then again, it could be a sham. How will any of us know? Unless we watch the outcome?

      Perhaps she has never had a positive mentor in her life? She knows what she wants, so she is asking for it. She is sending it out in the universe. Or…we can take the alternate thought process and say that she is an escort and she is playing dumb and throwing a line to see who will bite? Either way, she is talking, no?

      There is a split youth that we have right now and it is diverse and vast and spread in so many directions, no different than the way it was as I was reared.

      You are judged based on your income, your car, your lack of or your access to. The same variables are just as ever present today as they were when I was growing up. The only difference Jay is, you may have much more of an edge and an avenue to pursue that she has yet to grasp, see or even be able to switch lanes into yet while going down the road. She is looking for a right of way and someone to have the common courtesy to allow her the right of way to “get over” in their lane and keep moving forward. Since I am all for the underdogs, that may not have been what you were seeking in the response. None the less, there are so many perspectives to bring to the table that say far more than was said.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I wasn’t hoping to get any particular response. If you notice I didn’t offer an opinion of my own. I didn’t want to unintentionally influence the response I received. Thanks for offering your perspective.

    • Cryptic anomaly says:

      She sounds clueless to me. I will have to remember to ask for an allowance for food from my boss, that is basically what she is after here an allowance, a car, books, why can’t she buy the books with her allowance money? Or is that too much to suggest? The selfishness is staggering.

  66. Josh says:

    @Admin, can you eliminate this fucking Anonymous bullshit?

    • Lovelynyours says:


      • Jaybird923 says:

        It is getting more than a bit ridiculous now.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Agreed. Til then, I fully intend on taking Anonymous’ snarky-ass advice. I won’t be reading nor responding to anonymous posts. I don’t have the patience to decipher which person’s saying what – two different anonymous posters responded to Josh, one after the other, with completely opposite viewpoints. It’s just stupid. We’re all technically anonymous even with monikers; at least we can tell when we’re speaking or hearing from a different person. SA needs to cut the bullshit and just require an actual ID.

      • Cryptic anomaly says:

        @lovely – if I have to give her money to get her worked up like that then I just don’t feel she is truly into me at all but rather she is there for the cash. Due to this the sex and everything else becomes all about me because I am the client. Just the way I see it.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Cryptic – you posted in the wrong thread – are you referring to the tip thread?

      • Eloquence says:

        @ Cryptic

        Just a thought… I desire financial assistance, no different than a long term girlfriend, a wife, or someone that they value as a person, certainly not a client. However, do you know how long I had to weed through the profiles that their very first introduction to me was: ” I will be in your area and I am available on such and such a day.” Now, there are plenty of women who would have jumped at their offer. But to me personally, I shut down immediately mentally upon reading it. At that point in my mental process, I seriously was screaming “Why cant you lie to me.” Because I know who I am and I know that is not what works for me. We are all different.

        I will be very forth coming and say (while exposing a vulnerable side) that after receiving so many of those returns of exchanges at one point and time while on this site, I was bitter at myself for not being able to be exactly what they wanted and was searching for. Because eventually (depending on how much time lapses and passes) One begins to wonder if they are not on the wrong track by being a sincere female suitor of longevitiy.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Eloquence-I believe in equality of the genders. If I am in a relationship I don’t provide financial assistance. I won’t get married due to divorce laws being what they are in ripping off men and wives being a financial burden. I fail to see why a girlfriend needs financial support? Is that why women enter relationships? It seems the case from what you are saying. I am not a slave or savior to women just because they need money. In a Sugar scenario it is all about me because they want the money.

        I am also exposing a vulnerable side here, I like Sugar because I got sick and tired of the games women play and relationships being all about their wants and their needs. Now it is all about mine. I know my worth and honestly I know that I am better than actually believing that the woman likes me because of reasons other than the money, I know it’s an act and if it isn’t an act than shame on her to be using me that way when she has genuine feelings for me, and she will find out after a couple of months when the Sugar is over that she missed out on something better due to her greed and materialism.

        Your viewpoint actually makes me depressed and confirms that I am seeing all of this the right way.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Lovely- Yeah sorry, I was on my phone when I responded to that. It’s the wrong thread.

  67. THEATLSD says:

    More AM news.


    • Jaybird923 says:

      Why would you kill yourself over this? It makes no sense to me.

      • Eloquence says:

        Let’s talk about something for a moment. Has anyone on the blog ever had their lives result in a worse outcome from having more sex than most and having someone make love to you? When I ask thiss, ok….o.k.Let’s take the obvious STD’s and someone raping or killing someone. And, also removing the people who copmplain and say someone was a bad lay or they just laid there. I am looking for the upbeat comments here.

        So, removing obvious negatives, for the sake of positive conversation here. Has anyone ever truly experienced a bad outcome of another person making them feel like a million dollars in more ways than one? And yes, for Josh and others, What woman would not feel more provocative and sexier by being given money by someone who enjoys their conversation, their time, their sensual encounters and overall presence? What man feels worse after he has been pampered and had his ego stroked because the woman truly desires his affectionate adoration upon the cusp of his lips and the sway of hips as he shows her in studious attentiveness what she means to him during the time they share as the woman devoutly reciprocates to him in like manner. Why are there still people of all walks of life who become complacent and unwilling to embrace the actual reality of what sexual attraction can do for themselves and another being, in such a healthy manner in 2015?

  68. Jaybird923 says:

    @FormerANON and @Anonymous Agree to disagree. You both are right. The large tip will work on some and will be ignored by others. Especially if she’s constantly getting hit on by men trying to impress her with their wealth.

  69. Mick says:

    I can’t get no Satisfaction.

    I can’t get no Fucking action.

  70. Anonymous says:

    @Zito — the best opportunity for finding an SB IRL is a very large tip and a cell number on a CC receipt at an upscale restaurant. I had one long term SB from that method, and a couple of first dates.

    • lovelynyours says:

      That’s a good one. 🙂

      • Eloquence says:

        Congratulations Lovely! We ALL deserve to be all encompassed in the euphoric encounter of meeting another where we anticipate, expect and come alive in life as we vividly watch a positive arrangement unfold before our very eyes and live vicariously through you as we hope you will applaud when our day reveals itself unto us for our own moment to shine.

        I hope he realizes what a good catch he has found and caters to you without you ever having to utter a word of want, from here forward. 🙂

      • lovelynyours says:

        Thanks, Eloquence!! Wrong thread, though. 🙂

    • Josh says:

      I have never tried the waitress approach. My friends have, but they eat at restaurants all the tines. I don’t like restaurant food for the most part, so that’s not been an option for me.

      I do tip 20% minimum but that of course is without any ulterior motives. How large is a large tip?

      • Anonymous says:

        50% on a $200 to $300 bill.

      • FormerAnon says:

        my advice is the large tip will not work and is a non-starter

        if they are not remotely interested in a SB relationship then it is not going to work at all

        if they are actually interested in one and even if they are actually on a site looking for one generally they are not giving that as much consideration in their day to day life

        if they are interested in one and they are cute or outgoing or otherwise attractive they are already used to the large tip and the phone number they probably get that 2-3X per month and if they have ever acted upon it they have already found the guy was all show and no go so avoid lumping yourself in with them

        my advice is be polite to them, treat them like a human, actually ENGAGE them in a conversation that is mostly about them and take cues from them

        you need to find a way to relate to them that you have in fact known what it is like to be in a position like they are in now and you need to make it subtly clear to them that you have actually paid attention to them besides as an object

        if you notice she is wearing school colors or if you are near a university find a way to bring up her and school

        team sports, the time in the past when you had a restaurant job and the funny things you learned from that experience

        of course avoid the “oh I see you like cars” as you rub all over the key fob of your car in front or the “I see you like this team let me tell you about my expensive tickets”…..she has already been beaten down with that and probably found it to be a front

        go when times are slow (after 2 pm for lunch ect) and if she sticks around or makes herself a little more comfortable (like leaning onto the booth ect) and looks engaged well just talk to her

        repeat that over time if you go in one day and you do not get her as a server well treat the other server well, make small talk with them and hopefully if you have already been “talked about” you will come off as a nice guy, but it will also become apparent you have more of an interest in the one in particular

        over time perhaps ask her name and when she works because you like her service then go from there further gauging how long she engages when you come in and chat her up and where the conversation leads to IE if it starts to go towards what she does and what she likes outside of work…..find common ground……ask her out go from there

      • Anonymous says:

        hey know-it-all-douchebag – engaging them in conversation and reading the interaction is part of it too. I figured that was obvious, except for morons. I guess I needed to point that out to you 🙂

      • FormerAnon says:

        douche bag moron is the guy that says leave her a 50% tip

        you might as well let her know your dick is 2″ long and you need a hand full of viagra as well because that will impress her just as much

        I am surprised you did not mention put on an expensive watch even though you are dressed causally and make sure to drive the most expensive car that you own and reve the engine right outside the window as you park it

        because no loser has ever tried that before and it goes right along with the 50% tip

      • lovelynyours says:

        Anonymous, a couple tips. 1) We tend to ignore trolls on this blog once they’re ID’d as such – feel free to do the same. 2) You may want to pick a moniker; it’ll make it easier to differentiate your comments from the other new bloggers who post as Anonymous.

      • Anonymous says:

        I have been watching the blog for a long time, and one thing is certain, trolls are not ignored on this blog. If you don’t like the posts from Anonymous IDs — don’t read them or respond to them.

      • Anonymous says:

        I don’t even own an expensive watch. I drive a nice car, but it isn’t a chic magnet by any stretch of the imagination. Leaving a RELATIVELY large tip and a cell number has worked a few times when I noticed the server was flirting with me. It didn’t work all the time, but if you don’t want to believe it or try it, that is fine.

        You completely dismissed Lovely and her life experiences, so at least you are behaving consistently.

      • FormerAnon says:

        I actually did not dismiss her life experiences I used them to fully support the point I was making and that angered her and resulted in her attempting to use insults to prove she was still right

        I stated it was not necessary to have a large wardrobe of high end cloths while in school and she stated that her (claimed) friends used their signing bonus to acquire needed items for their new job

        thus I was correct no need to have a large wardrobe of high end items before one has actually landed the job where they will actually be useful

        not to mention the simple fact that the vast vast majority of recent college grads in all areas of study and from most every university will not be landing those types of jobs and so having that large wardrobe at the ready on that extremely small chance you land that dream job is silly……especially when you can do as her (claimed friends) did and acquire it when you know it is needed

        so yes I am consistent in that I make a position and support that position even when it means someone might attempt to attack me personally……which really only further proves I have supported my position and they have not

    • Josh says:

      As I said earlierz my friends have tried @FormerAnon’s approach to varying levels of success as they are repeat customers of those establishments. For me it’s not a valid option. 🙁

      • Anonymous says:

        Thanks for your support, Josh. I think you meant Anon’s approach. The developing rapport and consistent generous tip works well for a few of my friends also. I shy away from trying to find an SB at a place I visit frequently for a number of reasons.

      • Anonymous says:

        Of course it is not an option for you. That would require you to leave your house and interact in the real world off of the internet 😉

      • FormerAnon says:

        success even on a site specifically geared to SD/SB interaction is far from a sure thing so there will be varying levels of success outside of a forum like this for sure

        you have the simple fact she just not be attracted to that person, she might not be attracted to people well above her age and she might be leery of being looked at as a potential SB

        I would also ask if you could share if your friends actually continued to frequent those places where they made the attempt and how that went for them

        I would think in some cases it was probably awkward, but I would think there is also the off chance that him returning to the place and behaving as though it was a genuine offer and there was no hard feelings or bruised egos on his part might actually open dialog back up especially if she had been burned before by the fakes and flakes and the leased high end car drovers

  71. lovelynyours says:

    Lol, Zito – yes, that would be an awkward conversation to have, IF you tried to have it right off the bat. I’m no pro at finding SBs IRL as I imagine the approach is quite different than finding SDs IRL, but in a way, I think it’s easier for an SD to find someone IRL than it is for an SB – after all, it’s easier to convince someone to receive pampering than it is to convince someone to pamper you. 🙂

    ATLSD, you’ve found SBs IRL, correct? I may have the wrong guy, but I feel like there’s a regular here who has. He may have more insight there, Zito. I’ve heard all kinds of approaches – from providing your card after a good conversation (personal card with whatever contact info you’d give an SB, not your business card) and alluding to wanting to spoil her, to waiting until she goes on a date with you to mention anything about sugar. Another way is simply to go to places where women frequent because they know wealthy men will be there. The attitudes on those ladies may be a bit more difficult than what you’re going for (or they may not be), but hopefully you catch my drift.

    • zito says:

      I do, and thank you….I am not currently looking, I was just curious, but this does help a bit

    • lovelynyours says:

      Sure. I DO think that the quid pro quo conversation has to be exponentially more delicate when dealing with a pot SB IRL, however. That’s the tricky part for you guys, and to your point, that’s where a misstep or ill-worded proposition could be seen as disrespectful. Tact, charm, and sensitivity is really important, there.

      • zito says:

        oh hell, tact, and sensitivity are not my strong suits…lol

      • lovelynyours says:

        Lol. Welp, IRL may not be for you. The thing is that I’m thinking as an SD on SA you’ll need to constantly remind yourself that the woman you’re wooing, so to speak, probably doesn’t know anything about the sugar bowl. In a lot of ways that’s likely a good thing, but it also means that a lot of the rhetoric that’s posted on the blog, for instance, isn’t going to fly if communicated the same way to someone who’s only been exposed to traditional dating. I think the “generous boyfriend” approach is maybe easier IRL than the standard SD approach – and then you can evolve it wherever you need to later. But again, I’m not a guy, so these are all just informed guesses.

  72. PetiteSB says:

    @cryptic @lovely I am pretty much thinking along the same line as you two, SB’s role is to ‘pamper’ SD to make him feel good while he would pamper you financially. but like @Eloquence said, one simple action to answer to SB’s request does goes a long way for his favour.

  73. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Here’s the thing about “advice” and “attacks” from the bloggers (by the way, both SDs and SBs have made the decision to stop providing advice and guidance to those who fly in with some version of the question “I’m not finding success, can you help?”…

    It’s been stated so many times…we’re almost all here to support a positive sugar experience, but, we’re sick of giving guidance to the obvious escorts on this site (especially when the site doesn’t want it!

    We’ve begun to ask a few questions, or make a borderline confrontational comment, to see if the person is: 1. for real, 2. looking for more than the escort experience, 3. not looking to take advantage of the opposite person in the arrangement, 4. has some semblance of mental health about sugar and the opposite person in the arrangement.

    If you can’t see the difference between HELPING someone do better in the sugar bowl and calling out those who would take advantage of “help” to hurt others, you’re part of the problem.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Personally – I’m more strict than that when it comes to who I decide to give profile advice to. I go further than assessing whether or not you’re likely an escort – there are many people who don’t come off as escorts, but who aren’t going to provide stellar experiences nor enhance the rep of the sugar bowl through their participation in it, either. I’m only willing to guide True SBs in Training.

    • THEATLSD says:

      There is a new post on your “Investment SD” blog a red head looking for profile advice. I had to really refrain from helping her. Her profile sucks and has the classic mistake of stating how she wants a month. I’m sticking to the let Darwin sort them out theory.

  74. Telegraph says:

    Just curious, what’s the sugar dating dynamics like in Bay Area? Have found it pretty hard to find quality SDs in the area…

    • Anonymous says:

      9 out of 10 are looking for a less expensive, low volume escort. With enough work, you find the 1 out of 10 who isn’t.

      • Tierny says:

        Yep that sums it up

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        This is funny…I was going to respond with something more like “50% are fake, or running for the hills after the AM breach-leak…30% are looking for a SB they can connect with and feel like will use their help for something to better their life…the other 20% are so out of touch with reality they’re willing to spend whatever it takes to get a piece of ass…”

    • DontlikeSDterm says:

      I’m curious. In your view, what makes a quality SD?

    • SorchaD says:

      @telegraph I’ve had some experiences; one that was particularly good. I live in a very remote state though, so I don’t get many offers to travel to the bay area to meet a POT which is a bit disappointing. San Francisco is my favorite city in the U.S.; i’m happy as a clam every time I get to enjoy the beauty that is the Bay Area or around Napa.

  75. lovelynyours says:

    Got back from a 7-hour long first date a bit ago. Completely platonic; we just talked a ton, laughed, had some drinks and got to know each other. He just texted and we’ve negotiated an arrangement that works for the both of us. Very excited about the possibilities, here. Fascinating guy with awesome stories, immense (verified) success, and such great, attractive energy. Can’t stop smiling – had to share! 🙂

    • Catcher 22 says:

      @lovely. That really sounds wonderful. Thank you for sharing your good news. I am very happy for you and wish you the best.

    • Jaybird923 says:


    • THEATLSD says:

      Very nice to hear Lovely. 🙂

    • lovelynyours says:

      Thanks, all! 🙂

    • Josh says:

      Congrats. Is this a platonic arrangement, or just the first date platonic? What’s his situation…age, marital status, sexual preferences, etc.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Oh, I worried if someone would interpret my post that way – and then I fell asleep. Lol. Thanks for asking and reminding me to clarify. The first date was platonic. I don’t pursue platonic relationships.

      Not sure I’m comfortable divulging his sexual preferences, but he’s in his 50s, is married, and travels/relocates for long periods of time for work. He just relocated to ATL for a new project. I’m not comfortable divulging his occupation either, as his work is rather high profile to the public, even though he is not (thankfully). Doesn’t tell you much, I know – sorry. I can probably answer any other questions, though.

    • Josh says:

      As a Guru I only ask relevant questions. No further questions are necessary. 😉

    • Anonymous says:


      Good to hear Lovely!
      Succes 😉

  76. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Petite SB- In regards to one liners. I get lots of one liners from SB’s so I don’t think it is a Male vs Female thing. Some people can be socially awkward and then some just aren’t very good at communicating via text or for that matter in person either. The disconnect I think comes from how SA is advertised, it’s pushed to women as a place to come to get easy money and as we see on this blog it isn’t that way at all.

    So for me as a SD I want to be charmed and enthralled by the SB, I chatted to one SB a few weeks back who was giving me one liners and I was responding in kind she eventually told me that “This feels like I am doing all the work, like a one way conversation” she wasn’t young either, early 30’s. So she wants my money, she wants all the benefits of Sugar and she also wants me to chat her up and make all the moves. It doesn’t work like that here and that is what so many women don’t understand, Sugar isn’t about the SB, it’s about the SD and we are spoiled for choice.

    So to answer your question Petite, yes the SB’s really do need to step it up in most cases with the messaging and actually engaging the SD.

    • Eloquence says:

      I had a SD take the “chance” of telling me a: “story”, per my request of course, and he chatted me up. so much so, that I could not help myself but to be enthralled and at his whim of request but to reciprocate and his invite made me weak within the knees to adhere to what he resounded. Not all women are requesting a story as I. This is obvious based on what has been stated here by the masses. however, his willingness to adhere to my ONE request to give me a muse was above and beyond all I needed to turn my energy into motion for his gain, Now, am I the exception? Without blowing on my fingertips in gloat? (no doubt). H9owever, sometimes…just sometimes…we all need a “muse” and the little things one requests of another (as long as we do not compare them to the masses and without subjecting them to a pre-requisite of a box) “we” as a whole, would be surprised by the gain that is achieved in the [process, as was I.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I would see requesting a story like you did as enchanting. It creates interest and is different. I try and engage as much as possible but when someone can only give you 1 line no matter what you say or ask then it does get old quickly.

    • lovelynyours says:

      “The disconnect I think comes from how SA is advertised, it’s pushed to women as a place to come to get easy money and as we see on this blog it isn’t that way at all.”

      I’m going to say something that’ll sound controversial at first, but hear me out before you get out your pitchforks.

      Being an SB, a great one at least, IS easy money.

      I genuinely believe that the most successful SBs find that catering to their guy comes naturally. Being honest, accommodating, genuine, supportive, sexy, sensual, nurturing, etc. comes easily – it doesn’t feel like work. There is no mask or act, it’s just who we are. We don’t count frequency, watch the clock, or find it tedious to be with our SD. It doesn’t feel like an obligation; it feels like play.

      Successful SBs genuinely enjoy getting to know people and are confident enough in themselves to make the first move, not because they have to – because they don’t – but because they’re curious and see nothing wrong with stepping up to the plate. That, too, comes naturally.

      Personally, I’m beginning to think it can be rather easy to be a proper SB – and I’m also beginning to think it’s either something you have or something you don’t.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I think you hit the nail on the head there. It can be easy if the SB truly has what it takes, many don’t though. When I say that SA promotes itself to women as a way to get easy money I mean that they make women think all they have to do is sign up and men will throw their desired amount of cash at them. It’s a bit more involved than that in reality.

    • CurvyRedhead73 says:

      “It’s all about the SD and we are spoiled for choice.” I beg to differ. No relationship of any kind is “all about” only one party. If that is truly your thinking, you couldn’t pay me enough to spend time with you.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        When the relationship is about one half paying the other it is all about the one paying. Sugar is not a normal relationship. And I would not pay you a cent anyway Redhead in fact I would not date you for free either.

  77. rembodler says:

    It all depends on the perspective, sugar.
    I think it will be fair to say that…and I will rephrase what you wrote below
    “There are so many women on here whining how men are giving too little money. We get it, you can’t get offers for anything more than a couple hundred dollars per month. Just because you’re plain doesn’t mean you have to tear down sugar daddies who actually want to give an allowance to truly pretty women.”
    See how a few little changes can make a whole lot of difference?

    • Anonymous says:

      Guess he took that comment below personal. I wonder whatever for? 😉

      • rembodler says:

        I am a blog personality and that indeed allows me to take things personally, Hun. One day you will grow a set of ba…or sorry, I mean – woman up – and will not hide behind the “Anonymous”. Trust me, it is a lot more fun that way!

      • Anonymous says:

        It is great we have blog personalities that put up blurry mug shot pictures LOL!

      • rembodler says:

        It is not about my face or my income – I am sure you would simply love to put these down – but the consistency of the posts that can be traced back to the same source.
        obviously understanding that requires a bit more education than going to collage and being a strong “independent” woman
        Cheers, me.

      • Blog personality says:

        At least u can spell gewd! LOL! U sound like a genieus

      • Kramer says:

        I am telling you Jerry I saw a half-man, half pig!!

      • rembodler says:

        I agree with you, Kramer. Irony is lost on some people. One indeed should not throw pearls before swine (or pigs, for that matter)…

      • Kramer says:

        Just make love to that wall, pervert!!

      • Anonymous says:

        Sweetie…ur doctor still has more of those pills. You can get them tomorrow and you will immediately feel better…trust me.

      • Jerry says:

        Kramer, aren’t you taking any medication for that?

    • Josh says:

      @Anonymous, @Blog personality, @Karmer and @Jerry are the same individual.

  78. PetiteSB says:

    @cryptic @Reb. @anonymous @flyR @Sunshine @falstaff Thank you for sharing your ideas about one-liner message/reply. I was away so haven’t checked the comments. I was thinking that one of the reasons some pots are here is because they don’t know how to communicate with women, so-called socially awkward, they may need ‘sugar’ to make it easier to date. Some of single pots I came across seemed falling in this category and I was wondering if SB need to ‘lead’ (work on) them for better communication to make it work instead.

  79. Mad Man says:

    You are in good hands with Ashley!

  80. Sugarcane says:

    for SBs on here, how would you describe your experiences of the perception versus the subsequent reality of dating a extra-normally financially successful man.

    Looking at the POT SB profiles leaves me with the impression that they are in the most part quite delusional, particularly vis-a-vis the spending habits of their target audience.

  81. THEATLSD says:

    Found something that might come in handy.


  82. Josh says:

    I have read quite a few SD profiles but never bothered to real SM profiles. It was kind of an eye opener for me. Why?

    1. I am sure that there are a handful at SMs on SA who are looking for male SBs, but most SM are NOT looking for male SBs. That fact is corroborated by the skimpy number of real females on Ashley Madison.

    2. SM are super critical of SBs who are not up to par in the looks department.

    3. SDs are a lot more forgiving to younger female SBs than SMs are.

    From now on, my general “advice” to SBs wishing for Moderate, Substantial and High would be to change their profiles to seek Sugar Mommies. This will show them the strict criteria SMs are working with. Then SBs can adjust their demands accordingly. 😉

    As far as male SBs…sorry pals. Most of you are going to get a job, unless you are into men. ;(

  83. FunDude says:

    Ashley Madison showed that women don’t go for “casual sex” due to the low number of women on the website.

    It is very clear: Women go for money (with physique and looks added on as “icing” on the cake) while men go for youth and beauty.

    Same old exchange.

    • WilliamASD says:

      I would have to disagree somewhat in regards to the low numbers of women on Ashley. There were less women on the site compared to this one, but I found a good number of women on Ashley Madison as well, at least in my area. I met three of my sugar babies over the course of some years on Ashley Madison. There is an icon option for Sugar babies and daddies to find each other on Ashley M.

    • hototrot1 says:


      Women go for money, but it’s not because we are more mercenary. Women, even homely women, have a lot more opportunity for sex with men of equal or higher caliber than your average guy. And I’m taling SEX not relationships. Supply/demand.

  84. FunDude says:


    Great contribution to the thread. The analysis of the financials is flawless.

    These women have no clue as to the financial reality of paying 10K/month. Its ridiculous.

    Very good analysis for more intelligent people.

    • Ryan says:

      There are so many men on here whining how women are asking for too much money. We get it, you can’t afford anything more than a couple hundred dollars per month. Just because you’re poor doesn’t mean you have to tear down sugar babies who actually want an allowance from truly wealthy men.

      • DontlikeSDterm says:

        We’re not claiming to be broke.

        From my view, a lot of these blog articles create unrealistic expectations that leave women unhappy because “their aren’t any real SD’s on here” and leave men unhappy because of what appears to be greed. I met someone, who otherwise seemed pretty genuine, who started talking about guys she met who spent $10,000 for a VIP table in a LV club. I personally wouldn’t do that, nor would I give $10,000 a month allowance. For comparison purposes, I can take a GF to Europe, get upgraded to biz, and stay in a nice hotel suite, for half that. Personally, I think Brandon could drive a lot more traffic by pushing more realistic relationships/arrangements like this than stories about turning in the Benz.

      • Josh says:

        1. Brandon makes money by charging monthly subscription fee from SDs.
        2. When an SD is in an arrangement, he tends to let the membership laps.
        3. If an SD is still looking, he keeps the subscription going.

        4. Idiotic numbers are thrown around so that women keep coming.

        5. The high female-to-male ratio is then touted as the opportunity to make arrangements with some of these women.

        6. THAT’S this website’s revenue model.

      • Anonymous says:

        I see u have the blog all figured out already, Ryan. Welcome to the alternate universe where many of the antithesis of what “sugar daddy’s” should b about r absolutely APPALLED that women will not spread their legs for a couple hundred or more “per meet”.

        This is the place where many of these wonderful daddy’s vent their frustrations and try to insult any women who dare disagree. It is a good spot for entertainment value and havin’ a laugh though ROFLMAO!

      • DontlikeSDterm says:

        I don’t think that’s it at all. Many of us are prepared to be generous. We’re fine with making others life’s easier, paying rent, making car payments, tuition, taking fun trips, etc. In fact, for some of us, it’s nice to see someone make good use of what we provide. I just think there are very very few who are prepared or able to provide an allowance that is more (after taxes) than Harvard Law or Wharton Business grads make. And … I don’t understand someone who’d rather go to LV than London.

      • Rick says:

        Wondering if any other SDs on the site have found the quality and quantity of women on here lacking, especially in the last 6 months to one year? I’ve been on and off the site for 4 years now. When I first was on in 2011, there were 5-10 new SB profiles a day. Now, there are 5-10 new profiles a week, and of those, most are escorts/unattractive/fat women.

        I had tremendous success on here in 2011/2012. After 2013, the quality SBs just seemed to almost disappear.

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes Rick — steady decline in quality and quantity since about 2012ish. There are a number of reasons for the decline, but youa aren’t the only one to notice.

      • FormerAnon says:

        I have noticed a large influx of the “counter cultural” types

        I suppose they are learning the hard way that $1,500 worth of skulls and snakes inked all over their body is not the way to be the next reality TV star or even the way to make it into mod level management

        I have noticed a large influx of those that want to define an arrangement as “creepy” it if involves anything physical and anyone that does not completely agree with that just does not know what SBs are all about

        I have noticed a few that show some signs of hard core drug use

        I have seen an influx of pros that are pretty up front about it even if they think they are not

        I have noticed more girls that have just flat let themselves go….not ones that could lose a few pounds, but they have let themselves go on several ways

        I have noticed more that seem to have all the STATED values that are 100% opposed to capitalism, financial gain, wealth accumulation and the like, but they know their worth and they have a high monthly allowance expectation and they want to travel and live well

      • gentleman soul says:

        “unattractive/fat women.” Well ,I put slim on my search. Athletic/average can attract some optimistic girls redefining BMI over 25 -or even >30

  85. Anonymous says:

    We were forced to be partners and we are forced to get along in this piece. Well aware one of us is getting too old for this “piece”, so it is not alarming that you are recruiting the youth. A bribe is the seal for the deal. Didn’t you say lightening strikes? Look out.

    • Rick says:

      Serious degradation in quality and quantity. It’s hard to distinguish women on here now, from POF or OKC/Tinder skanks, unless you move into the substantial/high categories (which are fantasyland to begin with). Even then it’s dicey. Horribly botched arm sleeves, neck tatts, thigh tatts, chest tatts, blue or purple hair, facial piercings, or other trademarks of personality disordered trainwreck sluts of the highest order.

      I think the improved economy and the RooshV “Seeking Arrangement game” forum ruined this site. The ratio in 2011/12 was 10:1 women to men, and now it’s like 5:1 men to women. I know this because I’ve done comparisons with SBs who let me on their accounts to view SD profiles over the years. Now with the AM crap, even less quality women and genuine SDs will come here.

      Brandon needs to scale it back and do income/residence verifications for all SD profiles, but that would ruin his revenue stream. He now depends on the manosphere chode, desperate Beta married man revenue.

      anyway, I will let my account expire in 20 days and then I’m done. Back to IRL. It was a really good run for a couple of years for me though.

  86. Anonymous says:

    Whatever Lola wants. Lola gets.

  87. Anonymous says:

    @ Josh

    Your favorite SB female is back and in action leading her entourage right where “she” left off. Rotflmao.

  88. Sugar Baby says:

    This was an interesting read. I am looking forward to meeting someone on here but didn’t think as far as the “breakup” possibly didn’t assume it would be necessary if only an arrangement or maybe i would just find the love of my life and that would just be it. Clearly i have a lot to learn about how this works.

    • Anonymous says:

      And they live happily ever after… Funny but ok. Which is your favourite fairy tale?

      • Hydration says:

        Isn’t it all a fairy tale? Which one did you sign up for? The one where you pretend men are faithful or actually mean it when they say you are the only one they talk to besides their wife?

        Or what about that they love you?

        Oh wait, wait. The one where they say you are the best sex they have ever had.

        That their world will never be the same without you. Sighhhh, my favorite!

        And I am their satire of love that will bring them to the brink of exhaustion in elevated bliss. Yes, yes, yes!

    • rembodler says:

      @Sugar Baby

      You don’t need to think no breakup, Hun.
      I would start with a hookup, see how this goes. Have to warn you, sugar, go get a good sturdy broom, you will need it to shoo off all these horny tomcats, trying to flock to such a honeypot, being so moderate about her needs…

    • Hydration says:

      Learn girl, learn. The same way these men act as if “daddy poor bucks” is the new “war bucks”, please. More like, he sits you on the shelf until you learn how the game is plaid and play him back like a quarterback running game and scoring a touch down.

      Tough news for the newbies that haven’t learned the game that is played, but there are plenty of men pretending to be worn. Now a days on te internet via Twitter, and blog posts to school you on what to do. Because of course if it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it a duck, right?

      Except, it has been genetically altered and is fed with synthetics. Don’t be let behind in the grind. Get it girls, flaunt and taunt and take names, or they will write about you in mockery on their blog posts because we all know it’s a joke.

  89. Jaybird923 says:

    “I know my worth” I always cringe when I see this phrase. But for entirely different reasons than the SDs. Under any other circumstances, I would be happy to see so many young women who “know their worth” but the context in which this phrase is continuously used is more than a bit disappointing.

    I know my worth. I am intelligent, I am respectful, caring, loyal, I’m a good partner who’s willing and able to contribute more to a man’s life than a pretty face and warm body. I’m worth more than practical, moderate, or even substantial. My asking price… is a man of character and integrity. Someone who looks at me and sees all I have to offer and is willing to give me the same in return.

    So many SBs post here stating that they need X sum of money because they “know their worth” and are surprised when they get treated less than ideal. You’re essentially saying that you are not worthy of respect. You’re not worthy someone who cares for you. You’re only worth $2000/$3000 a month. You are a commodity.

    Your self worth has nothing to do with how much money you can get from an SD. It comes from within. Go ahead and ask for moderate. Hell, ask for high, but have more to offer than a pretty face and be worth more than than a dollar sign. Truly Know your worth.

    • FormerAnon says:

      I see three issues

      1. the inability to understand the finances behind their demands IE what income level it will take for a SD to meet that on a consistent basis

      2. girls that are tired of the young, drunken, broke dude brah that just wants to hit and run…….they want to be treated nice and respected and yet they get back to “dollars per encounter” often driven by reading the blogs of the professional “SB” and they end up making their profile and their desires about dollars (what you are touching on)

      3. the inability to explain what is being “invested in” other than their body….sure some are in school but still their asking amounts are well beyond that often times

      and the rest of it is on shoes and purses and other products that will be dated and worth $.20 on the dollar in a few years

      example is that “prize” below that wanted to “better her sons life” with “high end travel” and lost of spending on HER

      how refreshing would it be for some SB to break out a spread sheet, break down her monthly expenses, show a retirement 401K plan, the cost to establish a “college tomorrow fund” for their child (if they have one), the earnings they might miss out on for a weekend arrangement IE if they are a waitress or bartender in a popular bar, but are willing to do a weekend arrangement and the like

      perhaps show that she even remotely understands what she would do (and HAVE TO DO) to handle large amounts of unreported CASH income, show she understands what it takes to invest even small amounts monthly…..show that she understands why it makes more sense for a SB that is not looking to be a life long SB to have a more practical car VS a “luxury brand”

      how it makes sense to perhaps have fewer “designer cloths ect” and more cloths that are appropriate for her to wear to her entry level job out of college….I can just see the office hens going crazy making fun of an SB as she prances around the office at her new job fresh out of school in $500 dollar shoes and $500 dollar outfits with a $1,200 dollar purse while living paycheck to paycheck

      just a simple grasp of how the real world works and how basic money and finances work other than “dollars per encounter” or “dollars per hour”

      • Eloquence says:

        I have business ideas, all the way down to commercial inserts and company names with an extended plan of recouping revenue for a various option of ideas in the market place, a.k.a. different avenues of revenue to recoup the expenses that are being spent on me, but understanding with the right mindset and the right person, they have a limitless opportunity in front of them. Unless someone already owns the patent or the idea is in fruition in another contenant because all corporstions have their own executive team in “:standby” for when patents run out that exist, at least. Now, show me a SD who truly has follow through on this nature and besides asking me what I am wearing, and I will show you a match made in Heaven. Again, it could be based upon my profile and my finally saying “wtf” who cares what I write with trheir “one liners” and potentially, if not already allow me to sound, quote un quote “bitter”, for in the realm of reality, I am not… But again, we are on a SD website and it takes great strides to wade through the waters of everyone’s intent, regardless of how they present themselves.

        It is the gamble one takes and lo, I am not the most versed, nor am I the most successful, yet, I keep the course. That sounds lame to me (even reading it, let me profess that, that sounds lame.) How’s that?

      • lovelynyours says:

        Why would you assume that an SB wouldn’t have a job out of college where expensive shoes / clothes are the norm? You do realize there are many jobs out of college (especially the Top 25 colleges) that pay more than most 40 year old men are paid, right? Engineers, i-banking analysts, consultants, junior marketing execs, etc. My first job out of school, people used part of their signing bonuses to buy Theory, Tory Burch, Lafayette 158, Kate Spade, Prada, Calvin Klein, Brooks Brothers, and a standard, sturdy Louboutin. No, engineers won’t, but others in other industries will – it’s not about consumerism, but about fitting into a client-oriented, prestigious corporate culture.

        I don’t disagree with most your overall point, but I hate it when SDs assume that SBs have such low ambitions. It happens so often here.

      • FormerAnon says:

        I draw that conclusion based upon many of the college majors that I see SBs list

        Nursing pays well in fact it pays very well right of school compared to most other majors, but we all know what nurses wear to work

        Teaching actually pays a better than average salary right out of school in most areas and it is later on down the road that teaching does not keep up……..but no teacher should be wearing her night out on the town cloths in the classroom unless she is looking to have her mugshot in the paper and the strangely increasingly common incidents of female (often better than average looking) teachers sleeping with students is on the rise so she will probably not get renewed if she is dressing like that

        social work = not wearing nice cloths to work and often = not getting work

        mass comm = rarely getting a job in anything related to mass comm and almost certainly getting a job where high end cloths at the entry level would be out of place

        you already pointed out that engineers are not dressed to the 9s especially lower level and field engineers

        I see few SBs that say they are accounting majors, but even if they are and even if they get a Big 4 job they will soon find that with all the travel, the extremely long hours and the work load they are much better off dressing more practically VS wearing all their leftover SB date night cloths

        most marketing majors are not going to get a marketing job where they will need to be or will not stand out of they are wearing a lot of higher end cloths to work that is a simple fact

        psychology and sociology (another pair of popular SB majors) = HR jobs if she remotely gets a job “in the field” or for psychology if she wants to actually practice in that field it means going to grad school and grad school (unless she is looking for an on faculty SD) is not where you wear your SB date night cloths

        food and nutrition another popular SB college major (or majors depending on the school)……many nutritionist are going to be working in schools or government agencies……to be a licensed nutritionist means again grad school and (see psychology on that)

        foods again = school or government job often times or if in the private sector most people are not looking for their dietitian or nutritionist to show up dressed like a SB on date night unless they are a SD

        exercise and sports science…….not going to be wearing her SB date night cloths at work unless her work extends past normal work hours with her clients and she did not need to go to college for that she was already doing that while in college

        advertising…..lower end and entry level advertising jobs often pay very very very poorly unless one comes out of a top program or they have an extensive number of internships on their resume and while it would not be totally out of place for a new hire to be wearing nice cloths remember we are on SA here and most SBs here are not looking for “nice cloths” they are looking for cloths that would have them dressed better than people at their new add firm that are 2-3 positions higher up than they are…..and ad firms are more conservative than many people believe and that will raise a few eyebrows around the office and some questions about how she got her internships and her attire…..all the more so when she is not able to “keep up with the latest trends” because she is not longer a SB

        I think that covers about 80-85% of the listed SB majors out there at least from what I have seen

        so that is where I draw my conclusions from

      • lovelynyours says:

        You assume that people get jobs out of college that correlate in any way to their majors, and that firms recruit only those who have certain “related” majors. These days, that’s simply not true at all – I know this for a fact. It’s very common for an investment bank to recruit a psych or computer science major, for a hot tech firm like Palantir to recruit a sociology major as an account exec, etc.

        If you’re working for a top Marketing / PR firm or working under a sports agent, you’d damn well better come to work dressed well – no need to be dripping in diamonds, but there is an expectation. THAT is fact.

        My point is that there are plenty of women who either do or should be dressed well for work right out of college – they aren’t secretaries, they’re women headed to prestigious firms who have real careers and real client-facing responsibilities. Don’t just assume that they’re not. Perhaps you’ve not had such an SB, but that doesn’t meant they don’t exist – just head to your nearest Ivy League or top University.

        Even if they don’t have a prestigious track awaiting them, who’s to say their social demands wouldn’t require it? Perhaps she’s involved in the arts and is a part of the fashion and entertainment circles, perhaps she’s dedicating her life to philanthropy or politics and needs to dress the part for the network-based events like galas and the like – who knows. My point is you have a very closed-off idea of what a woman who aims to attain wealth of her own would do or be engaged in after school. You dress for the role you want, not the role you have. And while I acknowledge that there are women who will want the clothes just to have the clothes without any real attempt to assimilate into a world that requires them, some women are far more ambitious than others. Generalizing won’t get you anywhere.

      • FormerAnon says:

        I am well aware of the fact that many people do not get jobs in their field of study out of school

        I am also well aware of the fact that the VAST majority of psychology majors are not coming out of a top 10, top 25 or even a top 100 university so pretending that they are going to get offered some amazing job at some hot new startup is laughable

        do people from less prestigious schools (very rarely) somehow get an offer that is well above what the vast majority of people in that same major from that same school or similar schools are getting fresh out of school…..perhaps……one out of 100,000 times

        are you really trying to pretend that the vast majority of SBs or even a very very small % are getting a job with a sports agent……get real the number of “sports agent’ jobs out there are extraordinarily small and the number of people SB or non-SB from ANY school top 100 or below that are going to get those jobs is minuscule

        there seems to be some disconnect on this forum that living in reality somehow means clipping babies wings or insulting her or holding her back…..sure “early childhood development” major shoot for the moon…..ignore that you are not majoring in aeronautics, aerospace engineering and that your chosen major will not pay enough to catch a ride on Sir Richards Virgin Space Ship……but yea shoot for the moon anyway without any real planning for what happens if that moon launch does not get off the launch pad

        you said it YOURSELF the best…..the people that you knew BOUGHT NICE CLOTHS WITH THEIR SIGNING BONUS…..they did not have a closet filled with fashions that were not going to be useful for the VAST majority of jobs that most people get out of college they waited until they got that AMAZING offer before they bought cloths to match that actual real world offer

        again that is what YOU said…..how is that so hard to understand….before you plan your trip into space how about just making sure you remember to get an oil change on the Ford Focus that SD helped you buy (I know I know salty car for the whores out there) instead of going right for the 500SL with the AMG package and then waking up to the fact that you can’t afford to own that car after SD is out of the picture and that your inability to properly document the maintenance on said AMG has cut the value by 30%

        just because this is SA does not mean that we have to abdicate the real world….the vast majority of SBs in the world are not getting a degree from Columbia Journalism or Wharton School of Business or Stanford Entrepreneurship programs

        and even the ones that are getting a finance, accounting, or engineering degree from some top school that does not mean they will get the most amazing job on earth right out of school that requires them to dress like they have been making 6 figures for the last several years

        and unless the person doing the hiring is a buffoon if they are hiring some SB from some average mid level school with some extremely common degree field based on somehow coming across her out of the pool of 10s of thousands that person doing the hiring should probably expect that she will NOT have a closet loaded with all the latest top brands ready for her to wear on day one…..if she had that amount of resources available to her she would probably have gone to a school that was not a mid level state school or a mid level private school

        you are using examples well into the extreme of what MIGHT happen to justify making decisions that will probably not be the best decisions down the road and again from your won words….you can always get the cloths AFTER you actually get the job

        this as opposed to getting the cloths and then realizing down the road you probably would have been better off with a much smaller collection of high end cloths and much better off with more practical cloths and more money in the bank/your pockets/investments/equity in a condo or a car (that you bought based on what you can afford AFTER SD is gone)

      • lovelynyours says:

        I’ll admit, I didn’t read all of that. While I usually don’t mind lengthy posts, you tend to ramble and I can’t deal with all the poor punctuation and spelling.

        These really aren’t extreme cases. You don’t seem to have any exposure to the world I’m referring to – hardly surprising since you can’t seem to be able to properly spell “clothes” – so I understand you and I have very different perspectives – to you, the women I describe are unattainable unicorns who you’ll never encounter, and to me, they’re women I’ve come across often who would jump at the chance to have a great SD, under the right circumstances.

        I’m talking about women and not just SBs, generally because any woman can become an SB, usually from an IRL encounter rather than online. Whether they’ll be a GOOD one is one question, but I don’t want to digress.

        As to the signing bonus example, some use it for their deposits on the extremely high rent in NYC / LA instead, and use other funds for said clothes, which could be an allowance from an SD, money from parents, whatever. You’ve missed the point entirely, there.

        You and I have clearly been in different worlds, and that’s fine. I’m not going to argue with you about it. Especially when it really comes down to one salient point: what the hell do you care what she does with the money? Who decides not to hire a guy because they think he might use some of his paycheck to buy a high-end sports car? That’s just stupid. There are so many more important factors to take into consideration when selecting an SB to ensure your happiness – this one is superfluous to begin with. So the argument really isn’t necessary.

      • FormerAnon says:

        it is funny to hear someone that is obtained with money talking about the “unobtainable”

        and the reason I decided to post on here is because there are plenty of nice girls on here that do not pretend that they are jet setting all over the world (while relying on a SD to pay that bill) that actually think they might be doing that if they meet someone on this site

        they sign up, they put a lot of unrealistic expectations, they end up meeting a lot of freaks and geeks and pitting themselves in bad situations and then they come back here for advice and a lot of prostitutes then flood in and start trying to drag that girl down to their level

        I think it would be much better if most of the real world girls (not the NYC to LA “pretenders”) that are simply attracted to an older guy that will treat them right get a better perspective on why it will be is difficult to meet the type of SD that many of the pretenders on here claim they are meeting

        and I think it is much better to give them advice on how they can make a short term (in the totality of life) period of time in their life pay off for the long term VS having a lot of “memories”

        especially when those “memories” are just made up stories by a lot of the fake SB pros on this site

        lastly if you really lived in that rare earth high atmosphere world you claim to live in then you would know how hard those women you have come across worked to get where they are and how rare it is that even women that do work hard get to that atmosphere instead of acting like it is common and happens time and again

        pretty woman was a movie not reality

        your claims are no more plausible at this point than those that can’t do simple math and understand that 300 million people in the USA, top 1% can afford to live and do as you claim and that = 3 million people and the VAST majority of those 3 million are not looking for a SB for a number of reasons

        which means that anyone that pretends as you do that “the good life” is just out there ready to be taken is simply lying to themselves and others especially if they think it is coming for a SB with an very common degree from an average university

        just because you sat next to some other female in first class and she had a good story that does not make it plausible or realistic for the vast majority of females on earth and pretending it does just makes you all the less believable and it is all the more insulting to those women that you happened to sit by in the plane

        I am sure they were laughing as they deplaned at all of your stories and career claims and winking at each other and saying “another SB makes it to the first class cabin”

      • zito says:

        @lovely…I have a serious question….I have only found, or looked for an sb on sa. I am wondering how you realistically go about finding an sb IRL? I have never considered asking a cashier at a starbucks if they were interested in a sugar relationship, I do not know, I somehow feel that would be disrespectful

      • lovelynyours says:

        I’m sure anyone who had some time on their hands could do some digging, check out my career claims, and see very plainly that they’re all fact and that everything I’ve ever said about myself is indeed truth. In fact, I imagine there are some regulars on this blog that I’d be more than happy to email provide proof of all of that, if I was certain they’d keep that information in the strictest of confidence and security. Though I’m willing to bet they’ve already done some digging of their own. You’re precisely the kind of jackass who has no business being on a blog attempting to serve as a voice for SDs. You lack credibility, you step out of bounds, and you OBVIOUSLY haven’t done your homework.

        Nobody said it was common – your reading comprehension skills, in addition to basic writing skills, require a great deal of work. I gave examples of time in which your argument wouldn’t hold water and asked that you not generalize because there are some legitimate reasons as to why a woman would buy designer clothes after college. Like I said, there’s truly no point in arguing with you – you’ve already shown us all precisely who you are. Good luck gaining credibility here.

      • FormerAnon says:

        1. I agreed that there could be RARE cases when a SB needs nicer cloths for a first job OUT OF COLLEGE

        2. but what I was refuting was that a SB would be using her allowance wisely if she was acquiring a large collection of those cloths while still in college and before she landed that RARE job

        3. I very clearly used your own words to refute the fact that a SB should consider getting a large collection of designer cloths while still in school and before she has landed that RARE high paying first job

        4. after I very clearly made my point using YOUR words where you stated that your “friends” used their signing bonus to get a wardrobe for a job THEY HAD ALREADY LANDED that is when you laughingly attempted to insult me which shows where you are coming from and how “out of bounds” you will go when you are shown to be wrong

        5. you still seem to believe that the vast majority of SBs (or any recent college grad of any gender and with most degrees) are going to land some high paying job right out of school that will require them to already have a bunch of high end cloths

        that shows how far removed from reality you really are and makes it all the more questionable that YOU should be giving advice to anyone that lives in the real world and ESPECIALLY the real world of higher incomes

        because people that actually live in the REAL WORLD and especially of higher incomes understand how rare it is and how uncommon it is and they have seen intelligent and hard working people NOT make it and that is why they would advise anyone out there to use any income and earnings they have from any source prudently especially when young and just starting out so that money has the best chance to work for your LONG TERM FUTURE

        and that is why so many REAL SDs on here really do not find the “I need shows and handbags and clothing” to be appealing

        6. no one cares who you are and when you resort to the “let me tell you who I am” that just means that your advice does not stand on it’s own merits and instead you need to try and pretend that people should value bad advice because it comes from some particular person or another

        I do not need to prove anything to anyone I will let my advice stand on it’s own and I will even let YOUR words support my advice as they already have

        I am sure your stories of sipping “santana champs” and “sean john” and “ace of spades” will “wow” whoever it is you regale with those tales down the road in 10 years, but I would hope that my advice to some real world SB that perhaps instead of putting $5,000 (if you can even get that) into your wardrobe before you are even out of school it would be much more impressive to most REAL WORLD SDs out there if you were asking about what to do with $5,000 in a stock market that had declined a great deal in a short period of time and how that might work for you into the future

        this VS asking him if he can set you up on ebay so you can sell off some of your shes and handbags from your last 5 SDs

      • Anonymous says:

        This bloke cannot puncuate, spell properly or even put together a sentence, not to mention his aversion to our dear friend the period (.) to end a sentence. Unless he is missing several keys on his keyboard, I shall venture to say this is not an educated man, and certainly not one with any means to be a sugar daddy or he would replace the missing keys from his keyboard at the very least.

      • Anonymous says:

        Before the masses notice, my autoincorrection is almost as bad as this fellow! punctuate*

      • lovelynyours says:

        I read none of that. You’ve already been summarily ignored and dismissed – you’ve already proven you haven’t a clue how to constructively contribute here, that you haven’t been following the blog much (or you’re too stupid to accurately comprehend what you read), and that you have a dreadful approach/philosophy to sugar and SBs. Give up and bow out with the crumbs of dignity you have left. I have nothing further to say to you, and you will never have anything to say that I’ll take a moment of my time to read.

    • Lovelynyours says:

      Amen, Jay. Well said.

    • Josh says:

      There are reasons why I don’t challenge what @Jay writes…actually I look forward to reading her thoughts. Clarity of thinking is a beautiful thing. 🙂

    • Prospective SD says:

      I once knew a man that had great wisdom although I didn’t know it at the time. One of the things he imparted to me was, “Women look upon me as short, until I am standing on my wallet.” Amen Bob….

      • SouthernSB says:

        Except for little people, none of whom I have dated, I have consider just about every man somewhat tall due to the fact that I am only five feet tall.

    • Anonymous says:

      ‘I know my worth’ is actually a sentence not a phrase. It contains a subject predicate.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        You are correct it’s not a phrase. It can be considered either a sentence or a clause actually. But thanks for pointing it out. Hopefully mislabeling it didn’t cause people to not understand the intent behind the post. Since that was the most important part of everything I had to say :-))

      • Prospective SD says:

        @Jay…you are what brave men call a “pistol”. Love your elegantly blunt comments.

    • Anonymous says:

      A subject and a predicate I meant. Fingers slower than thoughts :D.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      That’s how I have always seen it Jay, the women who say they know their worth have rendered their worth down to dollars and cents. As such they tend to have a hooker/rinser mentality as well.

  90. FormerAnon says:

    hahaha that one profile posted by Josh with the “claim your prize”…..she should just change that to “wanted one professional athlete that hates condoms and is ignorant to the female reproduction cycle” and she would have a slightly higher chance of “success”

    and lets cover some financial BASICS for all these aspiring SBs out there

    there are 3 ways a SD will be getting funding to pay you princess and want to be princess

    1. annual pay and bonuses (very bad idea really to spend so frivolously before you have rounded out your investments and long term finances)

    2. investment income outside of annual income from employment

    3. combination of the two

    it is my opinion that a SD that is spending anything remotely close to what many of these “know my worth types” demand from their annual salary is a SD that is on their way to being a former SD as they find they are wasting too much money with too little saved for the future

    lets go over the basics of paying from the annual salary

    if a SD takes home after income taxes $360,000 per year they are VERY VERY VERY high in the annual earnings rankings from a salary/annual income point of view

    if they live in a place like NYC from that $30,000 a month after tax take home pay they are EASILY going to spend $10,000 on living, car expenses, clothing, food, insurance and on and on and that is if they are single and no dependents and if they are living a relatively inauspicious life style

    if they have a wife and a kid or two and anything like a boat or a sports car or they are living a little “higher” you can double that

    so out of $30,000 per month after taxes take home they are spending $20,000 on “life” and they have $10,000 left over

    only a total buffoon would not be putting a large portion of that away into investments in case that RARE $360,000 per year annual salary job gets “down sized” or “merged out” or whatever because it takes a hell of a lot of money in the bank to cover a monthly $20,000 nut when you have ZERO income coming in from salary

    so get real princess how much of that $10,000 do you think that “daddie” can sneak out of the account without WIFIE finding out and how much do you think he should or would be spending on YOU instead of putting it away to maintain the lifestyle of his wife and KIDS

    and if he is the type of fool that does not really take that into consideration well what the hell type of consideration do you think he has for YOU….ZERO which is why he comes and goes like a ship in the night

    now lets go over investments

    SMART financial advisers will say that you can spend 5% annually of your investment portfolio without running that portfolio dry and also keeping that portfolio growing with inflation because of course $50,000 in 2015 dollars will not buy the same things in 2035 dollars so you need your 5% in 2035 to be 5% of a larger investment portfolio

    and REALLY in todays times and especially if SD is younger and a ways away from death/retirement it should probably be 4%

    so if SD has $1,000,000 in invested assets he has $50,000 (really should be $40,000 if he thinks about the longer term) to spend annually and if things go well even in 2035 and beyond the 5% of his portfolio will have the same purchasing power in 2035 as it did in 2015 because he allowed the portfolio to grow while he spent from it conservatively

    so what that means for you princess “know my worth” is that if you are expecting $4,000 per month from SD in allowance then SD needs to have $1,000,000 in investments that are paying out over 5% annually to cover the cost of princess

    and that of course does not include your handbag addiction, your shoe fetish, your traveling the world ect and surely you want that to cost about $6,000 a month for a total cost of SB to SD of $10,000 per month so SD needs to have $2,400,000 in investments in his portfolio to even cover the cost of SD and her “confirmed worth”

    and of course you are not going to have a SD that lives in a single wide or even a really nice double wide and that eats cheese sandwiches when he is not taking you out to the finest restaurants on earth and that drives a Ford Focus that is 8 years old

    SD needs the “toys” as well and he needs the big house ect

    and again unless he is a financial buffoon or he really likes his BK lawyer then SD will have money in the bank to cover a lot of the monthly expenses of his house and toys in case his annual income decreases because even people with a nice annual pay are not immune to being fired. down sized, merged out or even if they own a company if they lose a key client or customer or one of their clients or customers goes BK and especially if they do not pay their final monies owed when they go BK well “daddie” just took an income hit

    and “daddie” has a lot less fun when he is having a fire sale on the Porsche and the 42′ Apache or the 42′ Skater and old suits and clothing is worthless and selling off the wine cellar will probably cover a month or two of expenses

    so SD needs to have $5,000,000 or $6,000,000 in investments that are paying a decent annual return and probably still a nice annual salary if he wants to have the toys AND the SB that is “worth verified”

    and he needs to have had that for at least a couple of years along with his home mostly paid for, his cars and boats mostly paid for, pays his credit cards off in full each month ect

    he cannot be living the “pro athlete” lifestyle where he buys a bunch of depreciating assets with a high cost of ownership and then looks at his bank account and sees $1,000,000 and says “damn I an RICH” because as soon as his annual salary goes away along with the large signing money goes away well all those toys (and fun babies) keep right on having a monthly EXPENSE of ownership and even if he sells them off he will not get near what he paid for them

    so when you start to look across the earthly landscape of men that want a SB, that have several million in the bank, that have a lot of their toys paid for and that have a relatively stable LONG TERM annual income from work and outside of their investments well you are starting to get into sub 1,000,000 numbers of individuals in the USA and probably well under that

    300,000,000 million people in the USA…..the 1% would be 3,000,000…..take out the old, the young, the gay, the happily married and the cheap or those that just like a “working girl” and women and again you are well under 1,000,000 individuals in the USA that really could have all the toys, that can afford $10,000 a month in allowance/shopping/travel and all the rest

    and then you have to actually be appealing to a SD, you have to be in a location convenient to that SD and you have to actually CONVINCE him “you are worth it”

    and there are VERY LOW odds of all of that properly aligning to make it happen for YOU whoever YOU are

    and really those numbers are probably conservative financially and optimistic as far as number of POTS



    and PS I realize that most SBs will not read all of that, will ignore it, will not understand it, will not believe it….but if that one gets it and it helps her well she was worth it because she gets it and hopefully she will get an arrangement that works for her

    • Anonymous says:

      Angry little man alert!! Angry little man alert! Danger! danger Will Robinson! A salty daddy wrote his salty manifesto on blog again.

      • FormerAnon says:

        prostitute alert! prostitute alert!

        what is there “in anger” written above other than telling some SB with little or no financial knowledge why it is that she is not finding endless choices of SDs that have thousands a month to shower upon her

      • [http://chucks-fun.blogspot.com/2009/03/angry-little-man.html]



      • THEATLSD says:

        @Y. You are to funny.

      • ATL, my friend…There are only two options in this place. Laugh or cry. Oh! Or laugh AND cry!


    • THEATLSD says:

      Well stated been trying to get that across to SB but not so verbose. I think we can apply an adjusted Eminem lyrics to this:

      “I ain’t here to saving the fuking sugar baby’s
      But if one sugar baby out of a hundred million who are going through a struggle feels and relates that’s great.”

      • FormerAnon says:

        thank you

        I realize it was long winded, but truth be told you can tweet 350 tweets of 140 characters each to the ones that will never get it or that will not listen and of course they will never get it and will not listen….and sometimes the ones that might listen will not get all 350 tweets……so sometimes I just put it all out there and of course the ones that will not listen or get it will still not listen or get it…..but maybe that one finally will

        and all the more laughable is that when you put it all out there you suddenly “suffer the wrath” (more like get a huge laugh from) the ones that have been further exposed as not being SBs, but instead working girls with a “limited” customer base of 18-20 johns a month

        you will notice there was no attempt to refute the financials or the math of the number of POTS that could possibly meet those expectations of $8,000 or $10,000 per month + shopping and travel

        there was just an attempt to discredit as being “angry” and “salty” which is prostitute speak for “he just proved to others I am not getting $7,000 + travel and shopping from 3 SDs” and instead they are getting $300 per hour from 18-20 “SDs” per month maybe some of them 2X per month

        and you will notice I gave no advice or recommendation for any potential SB to lower her demands or sell herself for less than she is worth

        again I simply used basic irrefutable math (that was probably actually a bit optimistic) to explain to any potential SB why it is that they will have to put in A LOT OF WORK to find a SD that will come close to meeting those high expectations and all the more so if they actually want to “have a connection” or “chemistry” with one other than money and if they expect to find one that might look past some of their inability to concentrate mainly on finances and finances per visit

        and again that exposes those that have endless hours of the day to “blog” about how easy it is “in the sugar bowl” and how they have “bumped all the splenda and salt” out of their “shakers”……because of course not they are “shaking it” for anything with $300 per visit (but they are worth it 😉 )

      • “I realize it was long winded, but…”


      • Cami says:

        and again that exposes those that have endless hours of the day to “blog” about how easy it is “in the sugar bowl” and how they have “bumped all the splenda and salt” out of their “shakers”……because of course not they are “shaking it” for anything with $300 per visit (but they are worth it ? )


        Is this guy for serious? He is complaining about people having endless hours to blog but he had endless hours to write that? And, all that wasted time he spent came down to that ^^^ He is mad bc the girls he really wants will not put out for $300 per visit. Yeah ‘per visit’ which is ironic bc that is being treated more like the ‘working girls’ he claims to be soooo against for SB’s! And an insulting pay per visit at that. LMAO

      • FormerAnon says:

        I was watching TV on my computer and eating as I typed that

        it took maybe 10 minutes max

        I would not be interested in a girl for $300 an hour that is not really my type and they often have the attitude exhibited on here by a few of the more professional SBs

        I have nothing to be angry about

        again my numbers stand for themselves and they are not easily refuted which is why those that believe finding a very generous SD is easy or pretend it is easy are getting so angry at what I posted

        I am again explaining to those that feel they are “worth something” why it is going to be much more difficult for them to find that “worth” from a SD and not nearly as easy as some make it out to be…..unless of course she is willing to compromise just about every other thing that she desires and pretty much all of her values other than “money”

        and I am not telling anyone to lower their price or to compromise on anything….I am just telling them not to listen to the den of pro-cats hissing and scratching and telling them to go for the gold at all cost and they are going to get it no matter what if they just focus strictly on that money and demand that money NOW and make it clear it is about money and time and time Vs money…..which is clearly is for some…..which is why they get ignored or why they end up turning “pro” even if they kid themselves they are not

        and I would not encourage potential SB to cross the line where she is a pro or where she sits and wonders at night if she is a pro or where she has to front up that she is not a pro to make sure others do not think she is

        which again is why a very very very few will read what I say and reconsider if this is for them at all or they will reconsider what their goals are on this site and how to obtain them

        the rest will continue to get ignored, waste time of flaky POTS, ask for (and ignore) advice and possibly sadly move towards pro status…..while telling themselves they are getting their “worth”

      • Anonymous says:


      • Prospective SD says:

        Don’t you know? They get it, but they just don’t believe it because in the wisdom of their youth they know waaay better than us dusty old farts (that they are trying to extract money from as an “investment” in their “worth”).

      • [http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/success-kid-mcdonalds.jpg]

      • Anonymous says:

        I wonder if these ‘dusty old farts’ sit around contemplating the ‘worth’ of their wives or daughters or even better yet try explaining their monetary investment in them they way they explain about other women’s ‘worth’ so eloquently here 😉

      • Prospective SD says:

        The answer is no…wives and daughters, if they are in the lives of the SD have proved their worth in some respect, unlike the entitled SB…

      • Anonymous says:

        Yea uh that kinda sorta proved the point trying to be made 😉 thanks for that!

        and also It is always great to hear a ‘man’ state that if a wife or daughter is in their life then they have ‘proved’ their ‘worth’ to him in some respect. What a guy! Lovely LOL 😉

      • Prospective SD says:


        Your apples to oranges comparison didn’t deserve an upgrade in reference points or a change in your terminology. The only parties it didn’t insult was the SB’s…of which it is apparent you qualify as. Hmmmm..coincidence or just more millennial entitlement? The circle closes.

      • SB says:

        I feel u and get what u are saying @Anonymous. Sugar babes should NEVER forget how many of these guys really view them as women or “human beings”. Many they see us as commodities like someone else mentioned. And do not dare expect to be treated well and with respect or u are “entitled” and a brat. That is why u ALWAYS find someone who respects u #1 first and foremost and treats u like they would want to be treated. And NOT a SD who views ther SB as a piece of meat.

      • FormerAnon says:

        if being treated “well” revolves around how much money you are getting from SD then you need to realize that it is YOU that have made yourself into a commodity

        THAT is exactly what is being stated….being treated WELL has nothing to do with money for those that do not see themselves as a commodity

        this is not to say that and SB should just “settle” for anything, but if you are being treated like dirt and getting $10,000 a month to take that well you are what you are

        if you are treated like a lady, respected, talked to like an adult and an equal, you share common interest and enjoy your time together and you are getting $2,000 per month for that and you also have some chemistry and attraction to each other…..well you are a lot closer to being a SB than the pro that will put up with anything for a dollar

      • SB says:

        Did I mention money at all in my post? No I did not. U are the one that just wrote about specific allowance money amounts.

      • Prospective SD says:

        Let’s not be naive. There is always a money element to the SD/SB interaction. The arrangement is based solely upon it. If the SD provided no money, gifts or expensive experiences, the SB despite being treated with respect and dignity, would simply move on. SB’s are not looking for that at the foundation of all of this. Let’s not try to wrap this up in a warm, “it’s all about the relationship” glow. This is not a dating site, this is a financial transaction site. SB’s can hope to be treated with respect and dignity by those who would pay for their time but it will very likely be the first casualty of the relationship when the SB does not live up to the SD’s expectations. It is value for money…however you want to determine what value is.

      • FormerAnon says:

        so SB what are commodities traded with

        if you answer borrowed QE infinity money at zero interest from fed discount window you get a 110 out of 100

        if you say “cash” you get a 99

        and to perspectiveSD no one is denying there is a money element to the deal, but if the whole deal from the perspective of the SB is about how much money per visit…..what exactly is it that separates her from the “pros” other than the feigned “chemistry” or “like’ of the SD or the ignored “mentoring”

        my entire point in this overall discussion is that one is a naive financial buffoon if they think there are an endless supply of SDs available that will find them desirable and that will be paying $8,000+ per month + travel ect

        and one is either lazy, clueless or a lot closer to a pro when they get angry that they do not find such a SD quickly or when they are “insulted” by an otherwise respectful offer that is well below their expected “worth”

        I am not denying there are freaks, creeps, cheaps ect on the SD side and in fact I would say there are going to be a ton of them, but that is part of the WORK that comes with being a SB and if you want to pretend that is not the case or get defensive and take the attitude of “pay me my worth or leave me alone” well you are only making all the harder upon yourself to find an arrangement that won’t leave you feeling like a commodity even if you can feel “better” because you got your high price

      • SB says:

        Oh good lawd talk about stating the obvious and going off course back to the valuation topic. I am not being naive since I did NOT say money was not the part of the arrangement either. Please don’t put additional words or assumptions in my statements and make incorrect assumptions for UR arguments sake.

        It is funny bc I didn’t disagree with the above comment. I responded on the
        respect issue and NOT treating women like a commodity which IS important in a non toxic arrangement situation IMO. Respect for each other and allowance that both people agree on make it simple and sugary sweet ~_~ If u want to value ur arrangement like an investment formula by all means go for it. But that is a man I would RUN from FYI.

      • Prospective SD says:

        Well get your tennis shoes on then cause you will be doing a lot of running. It is what it is, the sooner you accept that you are selling yourself for money and everyone in the arrangement knows that (mostly you SB), the sooner you will understand why things happen to you in an arrangement and can rationalize them accordingly. SD’s have money because they have some mastery over understanding investment value. Without that, SB’s would have no market. Oh and most also understand intimately the commodities argument regardless of how cleverly they obscure it from you, mostly by the way, for your sake. No need to pile on….

      • zito says:

        please note your is spelled your or you’re….not ur

      • SB says:

        You seem irritated even though I have not outright said I disagree with u. I am very happy and have had two long term arrangements. The one I have now has lasted almost two years. The fundamental part of our arrangement is respect for each other. Everything else falls into place. We want to bring out the best in each other and he has never once In our time together made me feel like a commodity. Yes he is very generous but that is secondary to respect. I am still friends with my first SD since we had a close bond too and had yes respect again. That is why I would not settle for ANYONE with the attitude of making a formula. U cannot make a formula to value a price on how someone makes another person feel. I can see why many on here do not have luck with women.

      • SB says:

        Ziti this is a chat room not university. I am on my phone and at the gym and on the bike so not exactly trying to write more than necessary. I know how to write and spell correctly, Thks! And yes, I know thks is spelled THANKS, LOL! One of the wealthiest men I have met was a horrible speller, though lol.

      • Prospective SD says:

        The kewl aid has been drunk…that’s how you spell it right?

      • SB says:

        What difference does it make to u, though? Can any of us know what someone else is ever really thinking in their headend their most personal thought? Maybe he does view me this way in his own mind but he has never made me FEEL that way. Would u want a woman who viewed u only as a wallet and treated u only as a wallet or genuinely like you? Or I am sorry, at least pretended to like you? Believe me I met plenty of frogs before meeting each of my SD’s. As long as I can continue to feel good about us and the relationship then I am happy. He always wants to know about my day and we meet as much as we can even if he only has time for a quick lunch.

        I am sorry but u seem bitter and like u want others to view their thoughts and perceptions as wrong, or drinking kewl aid if they are viewing this differently than u. If it is kewl or cool aid then it is a very good flavor at least and it never makes me feel bad after drinking lol.

      • Prospective SD says:

        The difference it makes to me and others here, although we seem to be somewhat ineffective in our messaging regardless of how we try to frame it up, is to help to educate SB’s on what it is they are getting into. Yes I understand, you already know…but what if there is a slight chance that as you gain in years that you look back upon this time in your life and realize that you were hoodwinked, even if the kool-aid was tasty? At least if you are reading these posts and taking in small bites of it, you might not feel quite so blindsided when and if the pigeons come home to roost.

    • Josh says:

      See if you can post shorter comments. This page is getting too slow already.

    • Sunshine says:

      Economics isn’t my field of expertise so I can only reply with my personal experience.

      Moderate is possible and some men can afford it. Perhaps they’re not investing as you say they should. Most that I have met don’t actually have time for fancy boats and that kind of thing – they’re too busy working and running their businesses. Sugar for them is part of their entertainment budget.

      For most though practical seems to be the norm which would follow your modeling :).

      • FormerAnon says:

        I think that would depend on where one lives

        if an SD is single and in an area where $800,000 can get a pretty nice house possibly even lake front and the overall cost of living is low they will have a lot more income and time to be on the water

        if they live in a place where a nice house is in the $1,500,000 range or above well that is $700,000 less they have for a boat and operating/ownership cost and if the water is 2 hours away well that is 2 hours they need to find time for and if he is married in that more expensive area that 2 hours is all the harder to fit into the day and going to the boat without the wife might bring a WTF from her

    • Jaybird923 says:

      A little long for a comment section but sound advice/information never the less. Most people probably aren’t going to read it though so it’s most likely wasted effort also.

    • FunDude says:

      Very good analysis.

      I have thought this before but haven’t written it in such details. The discussion on investments and stability of income is very accurate.

      The rarity of those types of males is high as well.

    • just tell the truth says:

      @FormerAnon. LOVE IT!!!!

      I’m knew to this…new to the SB world. I’m already successful, good job, good house and beautiful kids. I totally agree with everything you said on there!
      I’m intrigued by the idea of being an SB simply because of want to be pampered by a man that can appreciate a lady.
      Hopefully that clarifies what some of us want on SA site;)

  91. THEATLSD says:

    Ok here we go. First lawsuits filed against AM


  92. Elaine says:

    Interesting new development;

    I get contact requests via LinkedIn now and after accepting messages like:
    “I would like to know you better”.

    Never really happened before.
    Alternative route for ex AM members or coincidence? 😉

    • maggie1234 says:

      I am an “open networker” on LinkedIn and I get those a lot.
      So I will go with coincidence.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’ve actually gotten some decent dates off LinkedIn. LinkedIn and IG can be really good ways of finding a good match.

    • DontlikeSDterm says:

      What do you think is the typical age range is of men on SA?

      It’s my impression that a lot of the women on here are looking for men in the 30-40 year old age range. In a lot of areas of the country — particularly NYC and Cali — a well educated successful guy in that age range is going to be able to find lots of attractive recent college grads on OKC who are up for casual dating and travel. Not sure why a guy fitting that profile would want to be here or to deal with expectations of women on this site.

  93. Mad Man says:

    I want to GIVE them away. But the wife won’t let me. She’s CRAZY!

  94. flyR says:

    RE Miss Chris

    In addition to the prior comments there is no hook (not as in hooker) that talks about what will be special about the experience other than the implied pressure for a large allowance, gifts etc.

    The successful SB’s usually paint a picture (with words and photos) how their presence will improve the partner’s life, I just saw three paragraphs about how special the SB is but the material was mostly irrelevant to the mission .

    Understand that there’s a 19yo with a harder fuller tighter body competing for one part of the battlespace, a large number of 24yo college grads attacking from another side , some very humble , low maintenance SB’s attractive, nice , grateful , sensual claiming in another corner.

    Like a sniff of a just uncorked bottle of red that’s been in the cellar two years too long there’s a hint of something going wrong and perhaps a bite in the taste. A whiff of drama that might not be of the fun type….

    Perhaps all of this is that I am using California standards on a NY profile, the NY SD’s might worry if a potential SB exuded niceness and enthusiasm

    • Eloquence says:

      There you are…you have been m.i.a.

      I have no pictures to offer besides the one you painted in my mind. So, I offer you a song for the picture you painted for me. You tube: Adam Lambert “Underground.” Missed you and your words along with others here.

  95. Josh says:

    Period shaming? [http://www.donotlink.com/framed?5267]

  96. lovelynyours says:

    I’ve been invited to hang in the Guanacaste region of Costa Rica for 5 weeks. Has anyone been? Suggestions for things to do in the area? I’m not into the touristy, cliche stuff – I’d rather be among locals and expats.

  97. Mad Man says:

    Beaver. The Other white meat.

  98. Dale says:

    Solution to AM hack. Do what this guy did, make your profile FEMALE, Then act surprised, log in with your wife, and voila!

    “I looked up my husband’s email and he was on there. I confronted him and he denied it. We both went to the Ashley Madison site together and there was an option to reset the password. We entered his email and lo and behold we received a link to reset the password.

    When we reset the password and logged in, his account was for a woman, and very attractive woman with a fake photograph.

    I had heard that the website was mostly fake women, and this proves it. I think a lot of emails were stolen and used to create accounts, as my husband’s was.”

  99. Josh says:

    @Cryptic…as I told you SDs can’t be chooser… 😉

    “About Me

    im on here to find a respectful SD I need to rise and shine. Need a SD to upgrade my life venture out to new levels. I live in a small town trying to break out to bigger and better thing’s.. I want to be pampered spoiled I Want to Travel I want to be successful for my son straight up tbh I need Money

    What I’m looking for

    im seeking for a fun outgoing wealthy SD who will Pamper and Spoil me. a SD that knows how to Respect Me Take me Traveling Shopping Spa Nails Etc. im not high Maintenance right now but I will be I want it all so if you can handle this Sugar Baby CLAIM YOUR PRIZE”

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Josh so did you claim your prize? Or are you admitting that you can’t handle “this sugar baby”?

    • Promise says:

      I’m trying to figure out how this isn’t high maintenance…at least she’s not asking for name brands?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        She said “I am not high maintenance right now but I will be”

      • SouthernSB says:

        I love how she does that, you’re my SD make me high maintenance. Whoo-hoo!! What fun a SD could have creating a brand new SB of his own, he’d be better off buying a “Disney Princess” barbie doll for $12.50, and getting it a dream house, wardrobe, and those little tiny shoes.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      SB’s who think it is all about them. Gotta love it. It’s not about the SB at all that is why they get an allowance! If she isn’t high maintenance yet than I would hate to see her in full flight!

      • Jaybird923 says:

        You are so unfair cryptic. She has to travel,be pampered and spoiled so she can be successful for her son. How else do you expect her to accomplish that?

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Ahhh I see the error in my thinking, it is her son who is being so demanding and setting the bar too high for her. Got it.

    • Josh says:

      “I am not high maintenance right now but I will be” takes the cake. I am wondering if it is a statement of fact or a dare?

    • Josh says:

      Now let’s assume that she did not “need” the money, but still wanted to sugar…how would she word the profile?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        “I want to be pampered, spoiled, I Want to Travel, I want to be successful for my son straight up tbh I know my worth and you should too. I deserve to be treated like a princess.”

        lol How was that?

  100. Josh says:

    @Admin, would you please remove this idiotic Anonymous crap?

    • Anonymous says:

      Dang it, Josh. Your like the commercial Josh that the girls linger over on at the lockers while some Crayola pencil keeps changing things and he gets pee’ode that he is not the coolest guy in the hallway anymore because they erased his lines and created new ones, but your name is still inn commercials to reference that he came up with the dumb idea. Way to go, bro.

    • Josh says:

      Ju ‘peak ingles?

      • Anonymous says:

        Dude, you did not use the proper accent mark. I googled grocery market stores in the Eastern region. SMH.

    • Promise says:

      I agree.

  101. cryptic anomaly says:

    ” Go after what you want relentlessly with no bars held and give him hell until they see heaven manifest”

    *Sighs* Give me even the slightest glimpse of hell and I walk away, in fact that type of SB tends to have “Hell” written all over her profile, I will just click next.

    • Anonymous says:

      sheesh, it wasn’t literal. It was a phrase of speech when someone says “give em’ hell!”. The version of “give it all you’ve got”. Just envision Spock from the enterprise saying it, or whatever character you chose. But, it was not literal. Grow a sense of humor, would ya?

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Due to many SB’s taking advice the wrong way and indeed not being very bright, I can see them literally “Giving Hell” to a prospective SD. Which is funny in itself so keep up the advice. 🙂

    • Josh says:


    • Anonymous says:

      I adore you Mr. Cryptic. I have a secret crush on you. Even if I do not always agree with everything you say, I would swoon over you in person, anytime! <3

  102. Josh says:

    “The guy who will like you, will expect for you to put out for free.
    The guy who will not expect for you to put out for free, will not like you.

    Having said that, people get killed by lightning. Good luck!”

    Without naming names…Ouch!!! 😉

  103. Anonymous says:

    It’s SouthernSB in Anon.

    • Anonymous says:

      SO Chris, here is the deal.. This is what everyone is saying without saying it. How bad do you want it?

      They are unwilling to pay you what you expect. They expect you to either hook yourself out at a cheaper rate based on what 3rd parties do in order to build a clientele of people and access into the higher echelon of the market available to them, only no one knows who they are yet. They have to build a clientele and word of mouth is crucial. OR you can hang out and wait in the meantime with a niche market and await for your opportunity to turn heads all on your own based upon you finding the right guy for you based upon your correspondence with them and you selling yourself no different than a business.

      Now, you have two options.. As all have stated before. You can work your way to the top and you can cross your fingers and have the hope and belief system that you will prevail regardless of what the naysayers on a blog say and you can stand at the top of your mountain once yyou reach that pinnacle point and say “What, what was that?” as you bask in your glory of accomplishment.

      OR you can belive whole heartedly from the get go and place your faith into motion and watch it come to life. The power is within your hands. Now, the age old saying that “no one can take your blessing” is a myth. They can, if you give them to power to chose for you.

      What do I say? Go after what you want relentlessly with no bars held and give him hell until they see heaven manifest where they were professing hell and bask in the un-fortold glory that anything is possible. The push is the plasma between the doubting Thomas and the confident Moses (granted he was struck down), so lets chose another character. How about Job? The difference is, How deep do you believe that you can accomplish that which you can envision? If Anna Nicole Smith can make it? If Walt Disney can make it? If “pick any name in history” can make it?

      Well, then you have your answer. Go get em’ tigeress. 🙂

    • Josh says:


  104. Anonymous says:

    My computer is hating me tonight so I’ll just be lurking .

  105. FunDude says:

    Got about 20 hours of flying today.

    Fucking long flight from Hong KONG!

  106. cryptic anomaly says:

    Had a good chuckle at Chris’ profile as well. There is a saying “Beggars can’t be choosers”.

    • Josh says:

      Of course…SDs are not supposed to be choosers. 😉

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I meant Miss Chris the SB. Just amuses me how they complain about not getting any sugar but still expect the power of choice.

      • Vixen's Back says:

        Once again, another new female member attacked by the usual suspects. Laugh all you want, the only thing that this girl lacks is some proper mentoring by an “older” woman who knows men a bit better. And THIS older-woman has been doing quite well on this site, despite all of y’all’s supposed “expertise” on how sugar-dating works.

      • Catcher 22 says:

        Damn, Vixen! Nice to see you back in the arena. I like how you stand your own with the resident bully brigade.

      • lovelynyours says:

        This is ridiculous. Of course women have the power of choice – are you serious right now? Both parties are choosers – just because we’re talking about sugar does not mean that there isn’t a two way street.

    • Josh says:

      @cryptic. I think that you are missing the point. SBs come here believing that most “old as dirt” SDs have dicks in their hands eagerly yearning for younger females’ attention, and will fulfill their silly wishes because these women are giving them time of day…hence idiotic, demanding profiles.

  107. Madison says:

    You’re going to like the way you look online. I GUARANTEE it. .

  108. Guest says:

    Wtf is with all the time wasters? Just had another SB back out on a meet. Betwe

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      It really doesn’t help that women can join for free. They aren’t investing anything into it and so can join leave, stuff men around and it doesn’t mean anything to them.

      • Anonymous says:

        Are you serious? Do you know how many years I have been lurking, listening to the sound of “don’t pay a woman for the first date.” I got laid with “$50.00 for gas money only” and we are on a SD site. Good God man, do you hear yourself?

        Yes, I hear myself also. With the access that you men of the blog have, you should be setting an example of bringing more women in and treating them to more than the average Joe. If you have them and you are bored, then by all means, go find another. That is what I am doing. I am an a.d.h.d. child in search of the unicorn that can stop me in my tracks. And my, how I will adorn their ass when I find them. I hear the angels now! (tee, hee)

      • flyR says:

        I’ll disagree to the extent that there are a lot of fence sitters who would probably not pay to participate. However, on occasion they are surprised at the quality of the men they are able to meet and leap into the pool. Other times the lure is driven by external events.

      • Unicorn here, Daddy.

        [bats eyelashes, turns head coyishly, unicorn mane blowing gently in the wind]

  109. maggie1234 says:

    Getting some nostalgia.
    I love my Helsinki with insanely high but expensive lifestyle but I was just thinking like a non-east-European ( and I am not hard working at all ) to go to NYC and be on a substantial allowance just because … I am awesome or something similar ….

  110. Josh says:

    The Guru does not give specific advice to new bloggers. they have to participate on the blog for me to assess their advice-worthiness.

    My repsonse to her was a pointed repetition of the comments I make about SA and SBs all the times. It was like pointing to SA and SB delusions with a concrete example, without having to quote a profile text. 😉

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      Yes…I completely read it wrong the first time…because of the #4…She’s disappeared, so there really WAS nothing to worry about…however…there are enough others to provide some form of commentary still…note…I’ve directed no advice or guidance…

  111. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – saw this and thought of you


  112. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay & @Josh – it is taking my entire being to resist…but I will resist!!!!!

    • Josh says:

      Yes…please resist. You have tendency to give valuable advice to wrong people. 😉

      • IHF2030 says:

        Some women are just not cut out to be sugarbabies. So, women who are sugarbaby material will be able to express that, well, on their profiles without need of any assistance. Honestly, giving some of these women “help” with their profiles is akin to giving an arsonist a blowtorch.

      • gentleman soul says:

        Gee Whiz ! You guys are harsh ! A Newbie has to have a thick skin to make it here . @Chris ,hang in there and give it back to these guys and let them know you mean bidness.

        Bottom line ,$10K is too much for most people -even those who can afford it . There are 100s who are less and offer the same credentials . Josh’s non-advice was to lower your asking price and see what responses you get .

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Online LOL I would like to see how long you can actually manage to resist.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Jay – OMG – I’m sure you know why I had to post what I did…and you’re adding to my WTF right now!

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Here’s the difference Online you give them information on what sets off red flags. I just told her she had red flags not what they were or how to fix them. And Josh essentially just insulted her in a round about way with out providing any actual information she can use lol

      • Anonymous says:

        Fine…I see the differences now…I just expected the questions from Josh, and I did see at least one question in yours…you know why I’m biting my tongue though…damn it!

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        that was obviously me…why my browser deleted my information I’m not sure…but anyways…

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Online Yes I do.. it’s your kryptonite lol by the way you are posting anonymously.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Jay – still resisting…she does need to verify some form of positive sugar…even though it is KILLING me 😉

  113. MissChris says:

    Hey there,
    So can someone explain to me why it seems impossible to find a decent SD who isn’t skimpy about providing a reasonable regular allowance and not just about taking an SB out to dinners etc, buying an occasional gift, and honoring them with a glimpse into luxury lifestyle they should be grateful for while being a condescending mentor? I know there are a lot of flakes, fakes & scammers here but I’m just looking for a respectful Gentleman who really wants to take care of me and invest in my Goals. It seems like guys don’t check the “Expectation” and their “Budget” section or even understand what it’s for? And when trying to distinguish if we can fulfill each other’s needs, not only emotionally, physically but also financially, SDs seem uncomfortable defining their Budget, why be in this site then in the first place?
    I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or what I should do better to find someone who doesn’t have an issue with a real allowance? Please advise…

    • Josh says:

      1. You don’t look 27
      2. All those high-flying allowance talk is figment of SA’s marketing team’s fertile imagination.
      3. YES…some super hot girls are getting the highest allowances, but not a whole lot of them get such allowances.
      4. Come down to earth. You may have some success.
      5. 😉

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        WTF – no questions?

      • MissChris says:

        Ok, how old do I look? Do my pictures make me look old? My expenses are pretty high in NYC although I don’t indulge in extracurricular things at all and education, rent and general cost of living is expensive here

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Your profile is well written but you deviated from the original story you concocted a time or two. What subject are you studying?

      • lovelynyours says:

        My thoughts, exactly, ONSD. This chick seems to be the very last person one would give advice to.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @lovely – I see what’s going on…I will bow to the Guru on this one…tactics acknowledged and accepted…

      • lovelynyours says:

        I don’t know, ONSD – even after reading Jay’s comment, #4 still sounds like advice to me. :/

      • Jaybird923 says:

        #4 only sounds like advice if you didn’t get the intent behind #3

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @lovely – THAT is the Guru…pure Guru…if it works, you’ll see…after reading @Jay’s comment, #4 was EVERYTHING to the situation…I originally read it like you did…my rookie mistake…

      • lovelynyours says:

        Fair enough. I suppose I’m still a rookie. 😉

      • Prospective SD says:

        It’s like money just falls out of the skies to these deserving SB’s who are an investment….no really…an investment….Bernie style….lol

    • Anonymous says:

      You smoke which will eliminate a number of men;
      You have an edgy, non-mainstream look that many successful men won’e like;
      You aren’t that attractive, but you want an allowance of $5k to $10k a month.
      I didn’t even bother reading your profile, because no profile change in the world is going to change anything above.
      Maybe some guy would give you $1-$2k a month to be his once a week cum dumpster.

      You asked for the reason — you got it.

      • 🙁

        Once a week cum dumpster?


      • Anonymous says:

        oops I meant “once a week, escape from reality, temporary soul mate” Not sure what I was thinking… this AM thing has me so I can’t think straight

      • Thanks for clarifying :).

        Temporary soulmate…can I steal that?

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        That comment just verified an identity, I think…I just wish we had to pick a moniker so we could communicate with SOMEONE, rather than the randomness of Anonymous comments..

      • MissChris says:

        Ok, I do have an edgy look right now and I understand I’m not everyone’s type therefore, it has actually attracted more people, also in a more suitable manner since I’m not a girly Barbie which a lot of guys seem to only want here. @jaybird I study Fashion, take dance classes and work as a Model and a part time job, I’m actually truthfull in my Profile and just want someone to cover my living expenses and to have time to go to school and invest in my education. how do I deviate and what are my red flags? Maybe I missunderstand the sugar thing and it’s not for me but I appreciate objective advice so I can distinguish why and what it is therefore

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Thank you for answering my question. I won’t give profile advice but that’s not why you posted to begin with. Now to answer your original question you have two options 1) you can lower your expectations 2) you keep it where it is and wait for someone willing to pay it.

        There is no advice that we can provide to help you with that. The amount an SDs is willing to spend is a very subjective thing. It’s not about whether he can afford to give a substantial budget or not but whether he thinks you’re worth a substantial budget.

        If you’re adamant about substantial you just have to hang in there until you find an SD who looks at you and sees someone who’s worth it. It might take some time but good luck

      • Anonymous says:

        What a horrible person you are. Cum dumpster indeed. You sir, deserve to have a big cum dumpster fall on your head and knock some of the pointless and crass bully outta you.

    • Reb. says:

      MissChris: I have 2 profiles. One is sweet, short, yet also direct. Another one is VERY direct and lists what I want exactly, but longer. Both profiles get compliments on how I write, but they attract different guys. One would never respond to me on one account, but was the first to message me on another saying how refreshing my profile was. Go figure.

      Your profile is too long. It comes off as angry and guys will assume you are too demanding in person and will be a nagger. Also, your head shaving photos will scare off guys.

      Real SDs exist, but it takes a long time to weed out the poor men.

    • maggie1234 says:

      I´ve read you profile and I am still laughing.
      You go girl !

    • Anonymous says:

      @MissChris, no – You do not look old. You kinda have a unique look that one often sees in a model. The big cheekbones and eyes. Kinda like Uma Thurman. Lots of haters on here. Getting the allowance you want is not unattainable in NYC. Lose the part about u smoking and do not smoke before you meet them until u know how they feel about the smoke. Make photos with good lighting that are classy but interesting and one could show u doing a hobby or something. U can make some of them private.

      And they are wrong about businessmen always not liking the edgy chiks. There are the conservative businessmen types who are very much into the opposite flavour of what they have at home or are used to in their social circle- like tattoos and piercings or edgy appearance.

      • lovelynyours says:

        This is my problem with advice. Why in the world would you advise that she lie (via omission) to SDs about her smoking? Come on….

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @lovely – agreed…

      • MissChris says:

        Yes, Thank you, I’ve made that experince since I had a Job I had to shave my head for, I’m classy in person, don’t have tattoos or piercings, dress refined but have an opinionated personality which definitely isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I also don’t like the guys who like shallow pretty girls, so it’s served me surprisingly, which I didn’t expect at first. My profile isn’t trying to come off as angry but I get what you guys are saying, Im so particular because I am very nice in person, too nice at times, a giver who believes in the best of people and that has been taken advantage of too many times. The majority of messages one receives here can feel insulting and disrespectful (and believe me I know what perspective im signing up for to be an SB, but it’s beyond) and I loose my patience with this site and have given up over and over

      • MissChris says:

        Oh and I don’t smoke before or around my Date at all, that would just be disrespectful. If I feel like it I clarify beforehand and if someone is uncomfortable I don’t do it of course,

      • Anonymous says:

        Because why not? Maybe explained that wrong she can put smoker but refrain from soaking until u meet and see how he feels about it. I smoke sometimes but do not when I am with my SD. It is not a lie but a consideration. Another thing I have turquoise blue hair a couple piercings and tattoos. I thought like many of u at first! Ok only edgy wealthy IT or media artsy quirky guys will be into me. But no the opposite. The suits love me so go figure.

      • Anonymous says:

        Smoking I mean. Don’t smoke before or during date. It is a free country right? People can read any advice and take it or leave it as they please.

    • Anonymous says:

      Don’t be angry or negative in ur profile. Make it a little shorter and focus on positive while showing u and what u bring to the arrangement.

    • maggie1234 says:

      my opinion on your question : ” why it seems impossible to find a decent SD who isn’t skimpy about providing a reasonable regular allowance and not just about taking an SB out to dinners etc, buying an occasional gift, and honoring them with a glimpse into luxury lifestyle they should be grateful for while being a condescending mentor? ”

      I have made a profile, the next step is talking and perusing the SDs.
      It doesn’t really need a great profile but what you can do with it ,that is what counts.
      And you want a substantial counting…well then make a substantial continuance Are you up for it ?
      to the profile you are so proud of.

      • Eloquence says:

        The value lies not within any particular thing, but in the desire placed on that thing, says Yoda.

    • FunDude says:

      You’re not attractive enough for substantial.

      Sorry but thats the truth. Deal with it.

      • Anonymous says:

        Looks are subjective. She models and for example’s sake many high fashion models are not beautiful in the traditional sense and there are even those considered unattractive. They have a unique and photogenic look and many cannot understand why anyone would pay them a substantial amount of money to model for them. Oh well, they are still being paid for their ‘look’ no matter how unattractive others find them. Same with SD and SB. Who is to say what revs up another man’s engine? I find her very attractive.

      • Reb. says:

        I have a friend who is also friends with sugar babies. One is involved with a very high-profile couple. My friend showed me photos of her and she is average, yet she is ranking in the $$. You never know.

      • Vixen's Back says:

        Not true … it depends on the man and depends on the “age gap” … “attractiveness gap” how much he’s attracted to her, how much he wants her (or she makes him want her), and how GOOD she makes him feel about himself. I’d agree, it’s pretty difficult to get a steady “substantial” allowance out of anyone, but NY is the right place for it … and I disagree and think she is classically model-beautiful, and a good SB age (youthful, yet has some maturity). She has an “edgy” look right now, but if she explains it was needed for work AND plays the “poor me” card, of what sacrifices she has had to make, in order to make ends meet (including shaving her head) … she could probably do pretty well.

    • rembodler says:

      The guy who will like you, will expect for you to put out for free.
      The guy who will not expect for you to put out for free, will not like you.

      Having said that, people get killed by lightning. Good luck!

    • Dale says:

      As a former SA SD from NYC, here are my comments.

      Edgy is not a problem. I’ve had SBs with clit rings, Mohawks, tattoos, and generally non bimbo looks. I like edgy. Many SBs smoke, as do many of my under 30 friends, also not a problem, I have a smoking balcony for them.

      I don’t like profiles with complaints. You complain. Stay upbeat, lose the complaints. While I can afford your price request, I can tell you the market is lower in nyc. Last new SB I met before canceling was a Harvard grad writer.

      I do have 2 SBs on retainer, at 2000 each, but it took each over a year to get there. Both are creatives with jobs, 40k and 55k, both live in BK, bedstuy and bushwick, and their rent is only 700 or so. They’re both smart with top college degrees. And I’m busy, my SBs are busy, it’s hard to meet often enough to justify your range. Some months I meet once or even not at all, I was in London all of July. Still paid them. But they are friends now too, takes a while to reach that level of trust.

      I see you have been here since 2007. I was here from 2006, surprised I didn’t meet you back in the day when SA was way smaller. Good luck in your search!

    • SouthernSB says:

      MissChris-You look like Tilda Swinton, if I were you I’d play that up.

    • Vixen's Back says:

      You just have to be picky about what profiles you respond to. I don’t know about New York, but in the South there are a ton of men who think this is a “dating” site with “open-minded women” who will just have sex with them (even though they are married) with no “benefit” to the woman, but their company and a meal/entertainment. A true SD will be apparent from his profile … avoid the “pretty-boys.” Don’t bring up any allowance expectations, hourly/daily “rates” – EVER. BUT, play the “damsel in distress” about your work and financial problems. I’ve been here less than two months and had a bunch of first dates, only ONE gave me money on the first date as a “thank-you for your time.” I have one “relationship” with a steady (though small) allowance (I probably would have dated him anyway, but since he met me on an Sugar Daddy site and he doesn’t have much time to act like a traditional “boyfriend” … I “had no time for him” because of “my money problems” … until he came up with an “arrangement.” And (the reason I came) … I’ve had two lavish 3-day weekend get-vacations with other men and been given $2k and 3k cash as “gifts” little shopping excursions added to that.

      If the guy doesn’t cough up some cash, after a couple dates and hearing how “stressed” you are about money problems, then find reasons/excuses why you can’t see him … if he THAT doesn’t motivate him, he’s full of BS and move on to the next prospect.

    • flyR says:

      Since your profile is linked to your post I suppose it is ok to lift some of the text

      “I’m looking for a real Man who isn’t skimpy about donating a regular Allowance((substantial)), helping me with bills, school & other regular expenses aside from splurging on gifts, shopping, travel & other luxurious experiences and treats. ”

      ” I will never be demanding, ”

      res ipsa loquitur

  114. Moderator, dear Moderator….

    Any word from the admins?

    Brandon? You around out there?

    From my experience as a position holder and regional point person for a company with over 10 million members worldwide, I will say that breech of member privacy is the fastest track to holy torrential hellfire ever imaginable. Most particularly when many of the very users are savvy enough to keep 3 steps ahead of your paid experts’ game.

    You kindaneedta not fuck with people’s privacy.

    Second fastest track to holy torrential hellfire is disregarding your members’ feedback. Most specifically that of long-time, loyal and contributing members.

    ‘Tis the story of the numbers game.

    You kindaneedta give a fuck–even the slightest fuck–about the concerns and feedback of those who support your product.

    Also, what precautions and interventions are in process? What are you going to do differently? You kindaneedta extend a little reassurance to those who use your product, who may or may not be on the verge of fight or flight due to your failed and reckless practice.

    Hope youre taking notes.

    • Josh says:

      Expecting responsibility about members’ privacy from a company that hosts private events and invites Hustler and the press for publicity? Hmmm…that’s a novel idea.

      The best way to protect yourself, if the breach has not happened yet is to:

      1. Remove photos.
      2. Clear profile of identifiable stuff.
      3. Change membership information to remove identifiable stuff.
      4. Use throw-away email and phone numbers.
      5. Change city.
      6. Use non-traceable payment method (even if you used traceable kind in the past as, most likely, the last payment information would be saved.)

      • That has always been my approach. I dont expect privacy from this site or any site.

        Am just saying that sites that do not regard member privacy shouldnt get their boners all wadded into a lump when it comes back to bite them.

        Sad thing is, the repercussions are generally regarded as the cost of doing business. Get sued a few times, pay a few fines, lose a few members, lure a few more…drop in the bucket.

        Re: Email…

        Those who used their university email for the membership upgrade might want to change their email. In my program of study, I was required to sign a social media and public profile affidavit. Anything that could be perceived as a poor reflection on the university is grounds for removal.

        Regarding payment information…

        Is it still an option to pay with a money order via mail?

      • And,yes…breach…not breech…thank you. Though SA is kind of showing its ass.

    • Dale says:

      Good points. They can start by deleting deleted messages, instead of saving them.

  115. Josh says:

    SA. Please stop the harassment of having to vote in your fake cacalendar competition.

  116. Anonymous says:

    Has it occurred to anyone that this is a Fed attack ? If they can’t beat it busting 10 Johns and 2 Hookers at a time why not assault and discredit the companies enabling it. The quest for and provision of pussy will never end . So we will find a way around this. Perhaps anonymity using fake profiles and pre-loaded CCs-or Bit Coin payor models.

  117. BayAreaSD says:

    Just an observation on this whole AM debacle..after reading comments on media sites to the story as well as FB posts, I’m utterly dismayed at how nosy,vindictive and just plain cruel our society has become. Very few individuals are decrying this criminal hack and are openly voicing their agreement with the perpetrators and want the innocent members records exposed for their own entertainment. It’s practically a mob mentality and they’re screaming for blood. Innocent victims be damned. Our society in this online culture seems to now thrive on sticking their nose into other peoples lives and destroying m at all costs. If some of these mean spirited commentators personal or credit info had been hacked on another site, they would be crying bloody murder. The hypocrisy here just kills me as one can only imagine what secrets these so called puritans of decent and moral behavior are hiding in their own lives? As this progresses, I can imagine we may here about some violence attributed to this leak. Some people whose marriages and lives are destroyed by this may decide to off themselves and take a few others with them. Maybe even those that stuck their nose in their business and caused them grief. Sad but true. I think it will happen.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      I agree…I can’t wait for the civil suits on AM because a vengeful wife pulled a Bobbitt on a truly innocent in the situation…

    • IHF2030 says:

      I have zero sympathy for those who used AM to cheat.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @IHF – let’s use ME for example…I joined, paid because I got a number of messages and the profiles looked good…found out AFTER I paid they were probably fake…used up my credits on searches to see if there was ANYONE real on the site…nope…well, take that back…as I shared, one meth-addict interacted coherently enough to get me to go to coffee…ended quickly when I saw her…

        Intent, yeah – got me there, but, consummated, nope…so…now, I’m exposed because of intent from a site that already has litigation from members because of creating profiles to boost paying members and didn’t give a fuck about protecting those who build the site through paying memberships…

        you have no sympathy for me because of my intent?

        What about the person who didn’t pay…didn’t cheat…but the guy next to him in his cube farm was pissed and jealous at how hot his wife was and created an account using the work email address (didn’t have to be verified)…with his real name attached…

        or even the politician that said he was trying to dig up dirt on political adversaries…he’ll never be believed, but I could see it happening (if it were me, I’d have a young female intern create the account since most adversaries would be dirty old men, but whose to say different)…

        there are many ways this could impact an innocent person, and catch up with someone who may have had some intent, but was duped into the situation (typically referred to as entrapment)

      • Anonymous says:

        shocking news — IHF is judgemental of married people, but has no problem being on a sugar dating site paying for younger women.

      • lovelynyours says:

        I think the number of those types of instances are very, very small. Further, in all of those instances, the person making up the account would have had NO clue about the hackers’ plans and would have therefore attempted to “expose” them long ago.

        Intent goes hand in hand with “wrongdoing”. You wouldn’t want your wife to know you attempted or intended to cheat, right? So just because you didn’t use AM to consummate your intent doesn’t somehow make you a victim that deserves sympathy, ONSD. I’m not saying you’re a terrible person or judging you for being on AM – not at all in the least. But coming up with all kinds of hypothetical scenarios to justify why IHF should have sympathy for you and/or guys like you who didn’t use the site to actually cheat, doesn’t hold water, in my mind. Some folks won’t sympathize with you, and that’s okay.

      • IHF2030 says:

        Even beyond the morality of cheating it is a matter of common sense. If you have any sensitive information online, then you should assume that information is not secure. In fact, a few years back my profile/account on aff was hacked but there was nothing there that could have caused me any problems.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @lovely – I don’t expect sympathy for me…I’ve received enough vitriol on this site because I actually list as married…I was trying to show there are other ways someone might be tied to the scenario…

        the jealous guy might have just gotten lucky with the breach…he had planned on revealing it, or maybe he did reveal it and she didn’t believe it at first, because there wasn’t the “trail” or “proof” and now that she can search, she finds the “proof” herself.

        Here’s one…what if it’s an “all talk” guy on there…frustrated, like I am, who saw a show about it and thought, “hey, maybe I can talk to someone else frustrated…I don’t plan on meeting someone, but I could talk to someone else in my situation…” we ALL know there are SDs on here (and SBs as well) that created profiles, talked a good game, always chickened out on the meet…

      • lovelynyours says:

        Totally understand, ONSD. But I do think the jealousy scenario is still really reaching. There could be a married guy on AM who was a closet cannibal and was only intending to use the site to eat unsuspecting mistresses he meets but got outed, too. Or something. It’s possible – anything could happen. But it’d be really reaching to throw out such a scenario.

        All talk, sure – but then we go back to intent. For instance, I could talk about wanting to kick a puppy, and maybe even practice my puppy-kicking moves in the mirror, and not actually do it – but the fact that I’m talking about desiring to kick a puppy would still draw hisses and boos.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        hisses and boos don’t usually end marriages…

      • lovelynyours says:

        I was referring to the hisses and boos as the opposite of sympathy from the world in general.

        In any case, if I was married to a guy and I found out he has an urge to kick puppies – idk, I’d probably be signing some divorce papers. But perhaps that speaks more to how much I love puppies. 😉

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        if you were happy with everything, seeing him treat your puppy with nothing but respect and affection and didn’t know he was “practicing his kick” in the bathroom mirror every morning…didn’t know he was online watching other people kick puppies…but found out he joined a site where people are kicking puppies, and that he was talking to dog owners who allowed their puppies to be kicked…would that be enough to sign divorce papers? He never actually kicked a puppy, and was nothing but loving to your puppy…

      • lovelynyours says:

        Yeah, it would. Sounds like a pretty twisted dude, to me. Besides, even though in reality he was only practicing his kicks, who’s to say I wouldn’t start thinking he already kicked my puppy when I wasn’t looking? Perhaps I’d start thinking back to any time my puppy didn’t seem well and I’d start thinking he was the culprit. I’d always be suspicious, and could never trust him around my puppy again.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        fair enough…that’s why I wanted to continue the conversation!

  118. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    All I know…if I get one more solicitation from SA to vote in the swimsuit calendar contest I’m going to scream!

    I’m sorry, but I’m NOT buying the calendar, I’m not connecting to the calendar and my only real interest is in LOCAL sugar, so I’m not even interested in attempting to connect with any of the models…

  119. Anonymous says:

    A Louisianna politician has been found to have had an AM account. He said he was using it to try and get dirt on his competitors. When asked which competitors, he declined to answer…. good luck with that one.

  120. Oh Jared….


    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      Yeah, there was a good bit on a comedy show last night referencing it and remarking about Chris Christie’s presidential chances and work after the campaign…

  121. Prospective SD says:

    I paid the 20 bucks to have my data scrubbed from AM. That and my prepaid CC may have saved my ass.All the sites that check the email addresses for inclusion in the AM data dump say I am not there. But if they can hack there, why would they not hack SA? Paying for sex has to be more damaging than just an affair!! Nothing is safe anymore.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      I believe the hackers attacked AM because they had personal grievances with them not because they have a moral issue about the sites purpose.

      • Anonymous says:

        yes they had a problem with their business practices, namely charging people to have their profiles deleted (akin to extortion) and then not deleting info, when they charged people. They wanted to give them a taste of extortion-blackmail medicine.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      You paid to have it scrubbed, but it wasn’t…and THAT reason was specifically referenced in the hacker’s “manifesto” about why they chose AM to release.

      I’s going to be interesting…this is NOT going away anytime soon…the media will not let it…they will do the searches and release a name or two at a time, just to keep the story going…

      • Jaybird923 says:

        The media will mostly be targeting high profile individuals, like politicians, socialites, etc. I think most people are safe. In any case there is no point in worrying about what is beyond your control.

        It’s not very productive. Think about the worst case scenario and start taking steps to mitigate the damage if it does come to pass. Talk to an attorney find out what you’re up against if divorce is the outcome. Start looking for ways to move your money/assets around to reduce your lost if it comes down to dividing assets in a divorce.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        I’m not saying the media will out me…I’m saying the continued coverage by the media and continued revelations will facilitate more easily checked databases…SOMEONE will check data and make life very difficult for many more on SA.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @online I Know that’s why I didn’t tag you on the comment. It was just a general statement. :-))

  122. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    For the Anonymous who’s wife has probably checked emails and phone numbers…

    I thought I’d respond here so we’re not scrolling too much to continue the conversation…

    I’m glad I didn’t use a known email address for AM…I’m glad I didn’t use a personal credit card for AM…and I’m glad she knows I had received new credit cards because of some fraudulent charges…I think I’m okay…


    If photos and messages are released from AM and searchable and connected, it would not help my case…

    If SA had a breach, the dots could be further connected…

    • Jaybird923 says:

      If you didn’t use your real name in the messages or give specifics that can only apply to you you might be safe.

      If your pictures were only used on AM, create a dummy profile on a social media site (that does not list joined date) and post those pictures there.

      If the hackers to release pics you can claim you were catfished and you’ll be able to show the source where the pictures were taken from.

      • Yes, J.

        I have spoken with pots who only use google searchable images for this very reason.

      • Anonymous says:

        my SA photo is on linkedin. A few SBs have found me that way, but I can always claim catfish, unless they get cc info.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Jay – I’m not sure the profile or the messages sink me with AM alone…although I’m not completely sure, because their system said they deleted messages older than like 30 or 90 days, so there’s nothing there…I MIGHT have mentioned SA or had two conversations that lasted more than 4 returned messages…it would be the connection with SA, from a breach here, and messages on SA that say “are you XXXX from AM?”

        @YGBKM – in hindsight, using a “fake” picture or something would have been a better decision…

        I’ve removed all pics from SA, deleted all messages (although they’re all sitting in my “Deleted” Folder for who knows how long), changed my email address – twice, updated the profile text to be more generic and changed the writing style a bit…but if they’ve already been here and done SA, I’ll be talking to a lawyer as well…and there will be two attached/married SBs who will probably be in trouble as well…

      • @Online

        I do not have an identifiable photo on SA. I also dont share face photos, or my name, or my personal-identifying anything on the site. Even in my email correspondence, I am discreet. It means that I am sometimes nexted, but I dont mind much. There is no commensurate dollar amount for privacy and ultimate well being.

    • Anonymous says:

      I never posted photos on AM, and my profile info was sketchy at best.

      OTOH, if SA has a breach, I am completely screwed and need to get an attorney.

      I wish SA would say something comforting about their security, and how far back they have stored records. Third party billing helps quite a bit. I am guessing they have been lawyered-up not to say anything.

  123. Jaybird923 says:

    “@Jay sounds a lot like SunShinny of the past…. just say’n!!!”

    @Jj who’s Sunshiny? Should I take the comparison as a compliment or should I be offended?

    • Jj says:

      @Jay,,,, wait’ll he starts with the “10 times the National average,,,,” then you’ll understand. He had been blocked three times before… Still just say’n!!!

  124. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – RE: shiftless losers and strip clubs…

    If someone during an interview talked about nothing but weekends at strip clubs, parties and puking, Las Vegas gambling, whatever…they’re not getting a second interview or a job offer…it would be the same for a SB…if all she does is complain about her relationship I wouldn’t “hire” her as a SB…this is an escape from drama, not an additive to drama 😉

    • Jaybird923 says:

      I know :-)) I was playing devil’s advocate. I thought the blog could use a break from all the AM talk.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        Funny you say that…I’ve gotten three or four emails from business associates and/or clients about the hack and the fear of reprisal or further breaches, not because they were on the site, but because their boss might have been or a coworker had been bragging about it over drinks…concern over corporate hacking, corporate blackmail, aggressive divorce attorneys, even “innocent” people who might have been caught up in things…

        Wife was talking about it A LOT last night and this morning…especially the Duggar publicity…I’m not sure this is going to end pretty for a lot of people, especially if messages and photos are released!

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        But, to also answer your question…I’ve seen a few new members in my search results, with new join dates, but nothing that jumped out at me as an indication of an uptick in activity on the SB side…I HAVE seen an almost complete halt to messages being received from profiles on SA…I wonder if THAT is a reflection of SBs being skittish about being caught up in something due to the breach at AM?

      • Jj says:

        @ Online,,, I have definitely “noticed” and uptick in the number of “new girls” on the block in South Florida!!! just say’n!!!

      • Jaybird923 says:

        That’s an interesting observation. Do think we might be seeing a power shift on SA? Since AM is compromised will more men flock to SA looking for a safer hunting ground? And will there be less SBs willing to get involved with them because of the potential consequences of being involved with a married man?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I meant potential consequences If SA’s security is also breached

      • Anonymous says:

        I have seen the number of SBs logging in drop dramatically in my area. Almost like it is dead. Very few new profiles too. I don’t profess to be a genius, but I suspect that it is because of the AM debacle.

        My wife hasn’t said a word about it, but she reads the news constantly. I suspect that means that she entered all my phone numbers and email addresses, and nothing came up. I am so glad I never gave AM a dime.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        My curiosity has been wondering if the quiet from SA Admins on blog is a sign that they’ve been focused on securing their data and testing vulnerabilities to make sure they’re not “next” since they’re an obvious target because of the talk show marketing that has been done in the past…

        Especially after @Elaine’s story of a profile recycled when deletion was requested…

        Especially as the depth of the AM breach is exposed…

        Especially when there has been an increased level of SDs vocal about “pros” and “fake” profiles on here…

        Because I never deleted, I’m still getting their “New Member Notifications” and there has actually been an UPTICK on AM in new members and I’ve been getting notifications of messages received there…I’m thinking there are women looking to confirm a profile is someone that shouldn’t be there…but just a guess…

      • Anonymous says:

        do you think that AM is also making a bunch of new fake profiles to convince members that it is still business as usual?

        I am sure there are some snooping spouses making profiles too.

      • Anonymous says:

        Thought process… The same way that Chris Jenner knew he was facing manslaughter for a wreck that occurred and (I have no idea if he prefers women or men to be honest because I am not following his stories)then his all of a sudden “quick transgender change”. Is this due to the fact that he knows he will be safe in a women’s prison vs. a men’s IF he is found guilty? Is it due to that as long as every ‘I” is dotted and “T” is crossed, that he can legally be admitted to a women’s facility, “IF” found guilty and his stardom cannot save him?

        Now, think of “Duggar”…He did not “HAVE” to go on air and admit to anything. He owed no one in the public any sort of admittal or reasoning of the situation. He chose to do it, out of guilt? who knows why?

        The same goes for any other person that winds up being “accused” of any particulars. Who cares if there is an email address and pictures, it is all un-substantial evidence. What if your CC’s are stolen? What if you have a bitter ex-girlfriend, SB or wife? The wife can just as easily set up a man with their home address as can the man be found guilty of supposedly cheating. Sure, everyone is jumping on the band wagon because they are bored with their own lives. But, all in all, none of it has any relevance or valuable evidence to be offered…UNLESS, the woman with whom the man saw is a snake in the grass and he treated her poorly and she can be pulled out of the woodwork by being paid off to hit the media, as usual. And the latter, is even getting tiring to watch and has run its course of boredom. Lets all just be honest here. The GOOD SB’s have a black book that and are smart enough to keep their mouths shut because they know respect is given and taken away and who is more vulnerable than the woman who is dependent on the one who is good to her? How many sugar daddies are good to their babies on the blog? How many actually take care of their ladies and do not treat them as a once a week cum dumpster? There lies your dynamics of what you have to work with.

        Not everyone views life to this point of view, understandable.

  125. Jaybird923 says:

    I think this AM thing might be having the reverse effect on SA. Has anyone else noticed an increase in active profiles when they conduct a search? When I looked at the join date on a couple of the profiles I noticed they were old members.

    • Josh says:

      Random question…are your boobs natural or expensive?

    • Josh says:


      I told you long ago that you’re going to have some difficulty in securing SD, yes? 😉

      • Atlantabebe says:

        I don’t think it was actually that long ago, more like a few weeks ago! 😉

        I’m not worried and I am doing fine. The first POT I talked to could have been great. Real SD that adored me and I really liked him. Since I was new to it all, I didn’t know how to handle the allowance talk and I didn’t do it very well at all. He offered a generous allowance but I didn’t realize it at the time.

        Have had a few meetings a week since and communicating with others currently as well. I have learned a lot doing this and it has opened up my eyes, made me look at men and relationships differently (in a good way). I am going to wait for the right one, I have no reason to rush into something that doesn’t feel right. I am enjoying myself and am open to whatever happens next.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      @Jay – join date and activity uptick…

      There may be members reengaging SA to update profiles and remove information, attempting to delete profiles and now they’re being “republicized” (remember the SB who lost an SD because of the old profile being reengaged when she tried to delete hers for him? – sorry can’t remember who)…

    • Have noticed this too, Jay.

      Am not familiar with AM aside from what Ive read here. Are both men and female members able to message freely? It seems like that is the case in that some here have stated that theyve never paid anything. Could it be that once the preferred site with free messaging capability became compromised, those members decided to bite the bullet, and upgrade here?

      One of the profiles that I noticed recently upgraded is that of someone who decided that Im a nice girl, but that he didnt think we’d be a good match. When I visited his profile later, he’d changed his budget from negotiable to minimal, and he did not renew his membership. He recently visited my profile. His membership is upgraded, and his budget is now negotiable again.

      Have also had an upswing in views and messages.

    • Mister Roberto says:

      Here in Broward County, Florida, three of the five ‘newest’ members according to search results are 42, 45, and 38 years old.

      My theory — based on nothing but pulling this out of my ass — is that these woman are AM refugees.

  126. PetiteSB says:

    Hmm…too many SD sending messages/replies with one line, no name, etc.just asking photos/moving to private contacts. Would you still be nice and sweet to ask them how you like your communication to be (e.g. personal contacts/photos after some corresponding, asking their names ‘sweetly’ etc.) or just delete and block and move on?

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      I’m a SD but when I get 1 line/word messages especially if the SB is contacting me first I tend to move on or put very little effort into my response. If someone can’t put enough effort into a message to try and get what they want whether it be money or sex than I find it hard to take them seriously.

    • Reb. says:

      I am getting that now. The first message is short and includes: “How about you send some photos to my email __.” I haven’t even said hello yet. I just pass. I don’t want to risk picture collectors.

    • Sunshine says:

      I block and delete if they don’t have a lot in their profile or they’re not what I’m looking for.

      Otherwise I say that I’m happy to share once I get to know them better.

    • Falstaff says:

      “You have to kiss a lot of frogs” and it also depends on how big the pond population is. Early on my local area had few members. Coming back after a long time away I see thins have changed.

      Everyone has there own criteria. Some folks maybe naturally cautious about how much personal information they want to put on a profile, or figure that in the twitter age 140 characters is where we are.

      In terms of first contact, and reply, I wouldn’t discount a short message – it’s not possible to know how busy and or cautious the sender.
      Content is King – it should go without saying that a missive treating a SB like a hooker, or a SD like a candy dispenser is going to get your froggy boxed into the junk pile, and on a positive note that saves time.

      My own Profile is one I made a while back, I haven’t changed it. I did try but SA flagged it for being sexual after I corrected the typos. So I left it as it is.

      • Anonymous says:

        My initial line is…. Hello! I like your profile. How are you? followed by name and access to my pictures. My profile has quite a few sentences about me and what I am looking for and willing to provide. I get about a 60% response rate. I figure the person looks at your profile and pictures, and they either are interested or they aren’t, and a lengthy introduction won’t change that.

  127. Promise says:

    So Josh Duggar admitted to cheating on his wife via AM. Who’s Next?

    • Atlantabebe says:

      By the ripe old age of 27, Josh has molested 5 girls, cheated on his wife and admitted that he is “addicted” to porn. I just can’t understand why he stepped down as the Executive Director of the conservative Christian group Family Research Council.

  128. …And Daddy said…

    “hey i’d like to see some more photos with u, if u can be nude with clear face showns, i can send u 100 to ur paypal for 5 pics, i keep them safe dear”

    And Im all, “yougottabestacked, daddy.”

  129. Eloquence says:

    Also, I joined match.com for a stint of 30 days once upon a time and I had men contact me there, during that 30 days, that were also on SA and they were quite easy to cross reference. And I found it amusing that they were unaware of my knowledge. However, it truly is no surprise based on the fact that I am most certain they were well aware of me being on both sites for that duration. Unfortunately, it is easy to decipher who I am if allow my speech to falter to a natural flow based on the way I prefer. Not so much, if I chose to speak as a valley girl or just dumb and dumber. Granted, I feel sorry for the men who have to succumb to some women’s natural speech of daily conversation and dribble. Yet, I certainly seemed to get further by being just another dumb blonde because in the end they don’t appear to place much effort into a response besides, “send me a picture”, “what are you wearing?”, “send me a picture.” There are also women who are stimulated by pictures and the way a man carries himself as well and is photographed, do not get me wrong. I will be the first one to ask for pictures and fantasize on my own accord of what you possibly look like undressed with a naked eye…but still…

  130. Eloquence says:

    can we no longer search for a member based upon their profile name? or do I have to be a paying member? So gee, now you know I am not a paying member. Shame upon me…However, I WAS… once upon a time.

  131. Josh says:

    Watching “Prison Girls” on Netflix from 1972. It’s a forty research project. Most girls are unshaven and their titties are kinda sagging. But all are natural.

    • Eloquence says:

      Unshaven, you sa? isn’t that….just all sorts of so wrong. Who would want hair stuck in their teeth smiling back at you as they come up for air? hahaaa… I made myself laugh really hard on that image. Grossey, gross!!!!

  132. Amber B. says:

    @ATLANTA”BABE” This is a blog.. I can type however I feel like.. Funny you tried to insult my intelligence. Lmaoooo. Poor thing.. Poor poor poor little thing.

    • atlantabebe says:

      @Amber B. – It is “bebe”, thank you.

      Sorry, you did mention “I’m not trying to appear intelligent..”, so please disregard my comment.

    • Josh says:

      @Amber I am a big believer in letting SBs freely comment before advising them on their profiles. It helps me decide if they should be helped or not.

      So you must comment away EXACTLY how you want to. 😉

  133. maggie1234 says:

    AM will be closed down soon in my opinion
    The second dump is bigger than the first one appears to contain all of the CEO’s business/corporate e-mails, source code for all of their websites, mobile applications, and more….
    “”As it turned out, the leaked materials were real and showed the hackers had burrowed further into Ashley Madison than almost anyone had imagined.””

    • Josh says:

      Hmmm, I guess I don’t feel as bad now that supposedly a lot smarter people were hoodwinked as well by the fake AM profiles.

    • Elaine says:


      Today I read, in a foreign journal, that AM states no C.C. data is hacked or published.
      Wondering who is fooling who….

      The lack of publicity on traditional media as tv and papers is minimal here, maybe a lot of journalists want to keep it under the karpet for “personal reasons”? 😉

      • Elaine says:

        Wanted to say “is remarkable here”.

      • maggie1234 says:

        exactly that Elaine. If the things will blow up here in the press a lot of people powerful people will get really angry.
        So that´s also my best guest and keeping quiet which I honestly is the best thing to do.

    • maggie1234 says:

      The hackers said that they will keep unloading data until the website will be closed.
      My thoughts are going now towards the pictures as the next move …

  134. Jaybird923 says:

    Ladies I think I might have found a unicorn.

    “Looking for a Princess to take care of , I enjoy being with a beautiful woman that’s all I want and for the right babe I will do any thing !I provide you look beautiful not going to ask you to clean or run errands Just wear sexy clothing and hang out And I will give you a allowance Which will be 6 figures all you have to do is be hot”

    Budget listed: High

  135. Josh says:

    The approach for the credit card situation would be delete the pphotos, and to start making payments from non traceable debit cards.

    Even if you want to leave, make the last payment without your address, without traceable phone and without traceable credit card.

  136. Jaybird923 says:

    I’m not arguing for or against people having feelings for multiple people. What I’m having trouble processing is why so many SDs have such an issue with the SBs being in relationships when so many of them have SOs of their own. It seems more than a bit hypocritical to me. Just wanted to get a better understanding of some of the reasoning behind it. (beyond the stock answer about the potential for STDs)

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      @Jay – I am one of the few SDs who has said I actually LIKE a SB who has a SO…it means she has something to lose as well…it helps me understand that discretion IS a key to things…kinda like @Josh’s near miss…if she’s married or dating someone seriously, she certainly doesn’t want to get knocked up by me!

      My issue is with the unknown…if she hides her SO from me, I’m pissed…if she says she’s with someone that’s fine, I will either choose to accept it or not…and if her status changes, I should be informed…it changes the specifics of the arrangement…just like if she’s single and decides she wants to start dating, I expect I’ll be told…it changes the dynamic and the situation which changes the arrangement.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Online See that I can understand if she’s lying about it that’s one thing. But if she’s upfront about it and the BF won’t be an issue…. why the vehement dislike?

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        That I can’t answer…unless it goes to insecurity on the SD side of the situation…I just believe there are variables when you enter an arrangement, relationship status is one of those variables…when ANY variable changes, it’s time to review the arrangement and decide if it’s still right for both parties.

        If I understood her reasons and trusted her intuition about her personal life, I MIGHT be fine with her unattached and dating…but probably not…being a part of a relationship gives some foundation to the arrangement as well…she can “let loose” and explore with me where she might not want to in her relationship…

      • Charlotte says:

        It probably depends on the “arrangement” type, if I am looking for a girlfriend type of a sugarbaby, I will want her to be exclusive if it is all about sex, it won’t make much diffirence whether or not she is having a relationship.

    • BayAreaSD says:

      I’ve been seeing a lady for the last 2.5 years. She has a boyfriend and met him a few months after me. I don’t mind at all. He gets to deal with all the emotional bs between bf/gf and I get all the fun. I actually prefer an sb have a steady bf as long as she can keep time discrete. Now if she’s out seeing multiple sd’s, that’s an issue for me. Usually that spells hooker

      I had a lady write me yesterday
      whose profile said self employed. When I asked her what she did for a living, she said she does odd jobs and also has a few “sponsors.” I politely said no thanks.

    • BayAreaSD says:

      @Jay…to answer your question, i think these men have control and insecurity issues.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        YES! If you’re in a relationship and you’re not willing to accept someone else who is in a relationship it’s just being obnoxious.

        Now, if the SD is single, go right ahead and have your standard that you don’t date those who aren’t single…that’s fine, because SBs have the same standard at times and won’t talk to me as a married SD.

        I’m afraid talking about the second man in a woman’s life is going to bring back the alpha/beta/gamma/omega debate though…and that will just piss me off!

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I won’t mention who, but some one suggested that their biggest issue was that the money that was given to the SB would be used to take care of another man. How she chooses to spend her money is her prerogative. As long as she upholds her part of the arrangement there should be no issue

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Jay – I guess it would depend on HOW she tells me she’s “taking care” of her man…if he’s still in school and they’re struggling to make ends meet, I’m happy to help out…if he’s a shiftless loser and all she does is talk down about him, I’m not inclined to support that unhealthy relationship…does that make sense?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Online it makes sense but I still think that it’s sort of like company saying they won’t hire you (even though you’re qualified) because you might spend your paycheck at the strip club. But I’ll drop it.:-))

    • Josh says:

      I think everyone is different. I have problem with a potential situation where here SO pulls a gun on me because his SO is cheating on him. I did get a phone call from one such SO and I freaked out because I did not expect it as I was told that she was not seeing anyone.

      I don’t have any problem if she has other SDs as long as we are engaging in relatively safe intimacy. I don’t have any claim on her time other than when she meets me.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        See I would have a problem with that. If you’re involved with someone you should be honest about it especially if the SO doesn’t know you’re involved in the lifestyle. Let me weight the pros and cons and decide if I want to get involved or not. Being confronted by a potentially psychotic SO is a risk I need to take into consideration.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @Jay – that’s why I want to have the variable defined…and any change in that should be communicated…

        @Josh’s situation is why I would stay FAR AWAY from any SB that listed “separated”…that’s all I need is a P.I. taking pictures of us meeting!

      • Elaine says:


        What is wrong with “Separated”?!
        Don’t get that.

        In some countries you will have to live “separated” for years before you can officially divorce.
        So what other option would one use in such case?

    • Anonymous says:

      As long as it doesn’t compromise my sugar relationship, I don’t care if my SB has a bf or dates others. From my experience, when an SB has a serious bf, there is a lot higher percentage of last minute cancellations and lame excuses. If she can successfully juggle two or more men, more power to her.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      A SO on the part of the SB can be threat, SO as opposed to other SD’s or casual lovers. My fear has always been the SO finding out and causing problems for me.

      • Elaine says:

        @ Cryptic

        We SBs nearly always have to live with that fear! 😉

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Elaine-Only if the SD is married/attached, if he is single than surely that threat is non existent?

      • Elaine says:


        And how many SDs don’t have a SO you think? 😉

        If he is single and on SA, his name most probably is @Fundude, and that threat is even worse! LOL

      • Anonymous says:

        @Elaine-I’m on SA and I’m single, name not Fun Dude. I don’t know how many SD’s are single vs married.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Above Anon was me.

      • Elaine says:


        @ Cryptic
        Of course there is single men on SA too, was just kidding. 😉

        But my rough estimate (plus my experience) is that at least around 70% has a SO.

      • Anonymous says:

        Do you really think 70 percent of SD’s have SO’s? I suppose I’ve never been asked here from women I meet whether I have an SO whereas women I meet on Match seem obsessed that I am married.

      • Elaine says:


        Of course, that is exactly the difference between Match and SA!

        Most women on Match are searching for a “normal” relationship with the prospective of building a future together. So they want to know if you are married.

        Most women on SA are searching for an arrangement, without emotional claiming or future perspectives. So then it doesn’t make a big difference if you are married or not.

        That is why on SA you are supposed to provide something else instead;
        an allowance! 🙂

  137. Sugarcane says:

    You SBs are too expensive, so far so very good at spending. Hey I like a nice handbag just as much as the next man and if I could just get passed the very transient emotional and fashion value then everything would be golden.

  138. FormerSAer says:

    Here’s what I am doing, after 8+ years on SA. Deleted my one non-face photo, as it seems SA does not save photos. Deleted all except a few generic sentences from my profile, as I am hoping they only save the most recent profile pages. Changed my height, age, eye color and other attributes to be way different then me. Allowed my subscription to lapse, and made my profile hidden. I did not delete it yet, as I want to log in and see status of my deleted messages etc. That is my only real worry, my real name is not in any messages but my cell phone is (though my cell is in a company name I own, so a bit harder to connect to me). I would really like SA to follow the gmail example of permanently deleting deleted messages after 30 days, or allowing users to delete them anytime. I’ve always used a unique email address, so that should not be tied to me.

    I hope the CC data, which is the only place I used my real name, is not on SA, as it seemed to always go through a third party off-site processor.

    I’ve enjoyed my many years on SA, but don’t think I will be back. I do not want to show up on Gawker or the NY Post front page. Of course, having 2 current SBs (both for several years and neither on SA any longer) I am not lacking for companionship. 😉

    My guess is that SA will see a fairly immediate 50% drop in SDs, and concomitant revenue. Probably even more, if the AM data is mined to out people, as Gawker just did yesterday.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      Here’s the problem with that…just like the IRS hack job just announced another 220k taxpayer accounts that were compromised…they didn’t know how long the hackers had access…we don’t know if they’ve already penetrated SA and/or the card processing vendors (because that’s a highly publicized vulnerability) and just collecting things already!

      • FormerSAer says:

        Right, if SA has been hacked already, it doesn’t matter what anyone does now. But if they haven’t, I am trying to minimize damage going forward. I have no faith in SA security. Years ago you could view profiles without logging in just by typing the URL with the profile number. I can’t imagine they pay their tech staff well, and so far there is no word from them that they are doing anything different since the AM hack was announced a month ago.

      • Elaine says:


        Only 2 years ago you automatically saw all hidden pictures of SBs, by just
        scrolling the public “Similar Profiles” option.

        And as I have mentioned before, 2 months ago I deleted my profile, but they never did.
        They only cancelled the pics and most messages, and publiced a very old profile text back.

        I am not married and have not much to hide, but if I had, I would be very suspicious about SA security.

        They don’t really have a great trackrecord as far as custom care….

  139. Anonymous says:

    interesting message last night…. I was supposed to have a meet and greet with a “single” SB today. I got a message late last night that “her SO found her AM info and she couldn’t meet me anymore. Bye” I was getting a pretty strong married vibe from her, so her being hitched wasn’t a shocker. I am sure there is a ton of outfall from the release. I wonder if the SD traffic is down on SA?

    • Anonymous says:

      I cancelled my SA subscription early this am. I have not found any of my email addresses on any of the ‘gotcha’ sites (and honestly cannot remember if I ever had a paid AM membership; I don’t THINK I did). But as often happens, the past days’ events were just sobering enough. I know my data is likely here forever, but I can’t do anything about that apparently.

      • Anonymous says:

        I checked out AM around 2005 but thought it sucked and was full of fake profiles. Thankfully, I never paid for a membership there. The throw-away email I used on to login came up about half the time on the check email sites — maybe it didn’t come up because on all of them because I never used a credit card. I haven’t used that email in forever, and even went and deleted it.
        I think those credit card excel files will be all over the internet and easy to access within days. It is going to be ugly.

      • BayAreaSD says:

        I’m doing the same. There’s no way these sites can keep our info secure and these terrorist hackers are going to continue to hack sites. It’s bad enough these losers hack sites, but then to purposely expose peoples personal business online in an attempt to harm others is unconscionable.

      • Anonymous says:

        They can trace your email even if u are not or were never a paying member. As long as the email u used on AM is not one you use other places then u should be ok.

      • Promise says:

        @Anonymous I think @maggie said that you’re not on the list if you never confirmed your email address.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      I guess this gives a “free pass” to anyone who was doubting their arrangement though…”sorry, someone called me out about it” will be an easy way to end things!

  140. THEATLSD says:

    In other news I found a new profile that had substantial checked. But she had to be discreet because she had a boyfriend. SMH.

    • Anonymous says:

      about six months ago I had a first meeting with an SB. She told me she needed about $4k a month to support herself and her bf, and she couldn’t have sex with me because of her bf. She was glad to have lunch, dinner or coffee with me a few times a month though. The delusion is unbelievable.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Wait. Did you know about her boyfriend and her interest in a platonic relationship before you met her?

      • Anonymous says:

        No. In fact, she said she was completely single before. She stopped logging in a few weeks later.

      • Anonymous says:

        I can understand some people are “swingers” or in an “open relationship” and if that is their thing great for them, but I find it laughable the SBs that want a “connection and chemistry” with a SD and yet they also have a BF or worse a husband

        I could not imagine I would ever have or WANT TO HAVE “chemistry” or “a connection” with a girl that would actually be in a relationship with a piece of milk toast that would then let his GF be a SB

        and that is looking past the idea of how many people can you really claim you have a “connection” or “chemistry” with

        basically to me that is saying that the real love of that SB’s life is a spineless, broke jellyfish that she really does not want to invest in their “relationship” for the BOTH of them and instead prefers to date jellyfish while getting MONEY (what she really cares about) from some other guy she is really probably not even all that attracted to

        thanks princess find someone else to pay the rent for you and your pimp

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Anonymous Why is that you feel a SB can’t want/have a connection with an SD if she’s in a relationship? There are plenty of married SDs that want/have connections with their SBs.

        Are you saying that the SDs don’t actually feel anything? Or is it that you believe a woman incapable of connecting with more than one man at a time? Or am I completely off base and it’s something else. Genuinely curious about your reasoning…

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        I think there can be a connection between multiple people…it’s not going to be an “all encompassing” connection, but it could be an emotional connection with the SO and a sexual connection with the lover. It could be opposite. I don’t think you can have that “all encompassing” connection with to many people simultaneously…but I completely understand the specific connection with multiple people!

      • Anonymous says:

        for me personally her are my feelings on things

        I am not married and I would not have a SB if I was

        I would not want a SB that would be with a married SD

        I can understand as one member stated that they basically told their life they needed affection and she “replied” by laying there and pretty much pretending it was a chore to have sex with him that one time…..but I think that is a RARE situation

        I really feel that if your marriage is terrible get out of it and move on with life instead of getting a GF or a SB or whatever and again I understand “kids”, having a business that the angry future ex wife would destroy instead of letting it stay in tact and taking her monthly ex-spousal support and the like, but again I think that is more rare than most people believe

        I also understand swinging and “open relationships” and to each their own if that works for them more power to them

        but really what I was more so referring to specifically that I see on here an awful lot is either the girl that says she has a BF and he is “ok with this”, but she is committed to him and you will just be “the SD” and you need to understand that she also has her “relationship”

        and generally she is one of those SBs that is all about “equality” and “social justice” (paid for of course with someone elses money) and I picture her BF being some worthless hipster doofus with his stupid facial hair and his stupid hat and his little backpack and his fixed gear bike that he rides all over the place in his daily quest to be broke and worthless and that is why “she loves him so much”……yet of course he is such a turd he will let her sleep with older men so she can still have her purses, handbags, pay their rent and pay for all their social justice with money she earns from sex

        the whole cheating/being cheated on ect is not anything I need to concern myself with other than it is not for me from either side…..it was really more so a comment on a specific type of SB I see lately that basically “loves” her BF because he lets her basically walk all over him in the name of “she is independent” and of course she is so “independent” that she is hooking up with older guys for their money…..and usually the type that are like that also are the type that fills their profile with comments that pretty much lets you know that she thinks her hoooha is made of gold and thus her SD better pay her what she is worth!

        even though what she is really worth is flopping in some studio apartment sleeping on a futon with some lay about hipster doofus

        and I do believe men can have strong feelings for two women, but damn I am not sure I could handle more than one (part of the reason cheating would not be my thing especially if I had a wife and a GF vs a SB)

        and to be honest I think I am more leery of the fact that a woman can have real true deep feelings for more than one guy at a time…..I fully believe that women are wired differently than men and while I would not call a woman that had two BFs or two SDs a “pro” at least on here and elsewhere the SBs I see talking about having more than one SD or even a SD and a BF often start straying a lot towards sounding like a “pro”……especially when sugar, splenda salt talk starts up or when they start talking about juggling all of them and the scheduling difficulties

        it is similar to why I would not date or have a SB that is a “dancer”……all the “dancers” I have even known were not able to put “dancer mode” and dancer mentality aside it showed in how they dressed, how they carried themselves and how they were in relationships

        and again there ARE exceptions to all of the above, but those exceptions IMO are “rare”

        I would believe for instance that the SB on here from Finland cares about the well being of her SDs…..but I do not think her feelings are all that deep or anywhere close to relationship feelings and I would imagine one of the others that emailed some of her former SDs about the AM list showing them cares about them……but not in the same way as she would someone that she is in more of a traditional relationship with

        opinions one and all of course, but that is the great thing about the anonymity of the WWW the ability to express opinions and discuss them without the “fear” of it getting really personal

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Anonymous Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. Your stance on the subject makes a lot more sense. I wanted to offer my perspective on one of the points you brought up.

        Based on the very nature of these types of arrangements it makes no logical sense to allow your self to care deeply for the other person because you know it’s temporary. Even if it last a couple of years it’s still temporary. I know some arrangements turn into traditional relationships but that is the exception not the norm.

        In a traditional relationship there is a higher possibility that it will turn into something more, that you’ll be able to build a life with this person so you are more willing to take the risk and invest more into it from an emotional standpoint.

        Doing that in a sugar relationship is a recipe for disaster. It’s not that an SB can’t care more deeply for an SD or vice versa, it’s just that the potential return on investment is not significant enough.

        On another note, I really wish you would choose a moniker even though I think I can easily recognize you based on your writing style. It would be easier to reference your comments.

      • Jj says:

        @Jay sounds a lot like SunShinny of the past…. just say’n!!!

  141. THEATLSD says:

    Found a new email checker that still works and seems legit. It matched another database checker.


    Turns out there is an Easter egg manifesto in the file some hacker found it. Basically the hackers pontificated why they did it. There was a weird statement. They apologized to the security director at AM because they knew his hands were tied by management and he could not make it as secure as it should be.

    • BayAreaSD says:

      2 emails only known by me are coming up on these am checkers as well as my hobby phone number. My spouse is not suspicious or computer savvy so i’m not worried about that. My only concern is i used my personal cc to buy tokens 4 years ago and used my address like an idiot. If someone develops a name tracker that links addresses, that could cause me some problems. While my wife isn’t savvy, we have friends in IT who are. If one discovers me and tells their wife, they’ll then tell my wife. These middle-aged stay at home moms love to gossip.

      • Anonymous says:

        I have only seen email checkers — can you post links to any that check names or phone numbers against the data? THANKS.

      • BayAreaSD says:

        The phone# checker was pulled down yesterday. It’s no longer active and I don’t have the link. It was mentioned in one of the posts below.

      • BayAreaSD says:

        My hope is that this crap blows over and becomes another story of the week and disappears. The media and the American public have a very short attention span. That hopefully should work in our favor.

      • THEATLSD says:

        the names, address and cc nbrs are on the file. You have to download the entire file. It’s in an excel format I think. Then run your own check. The issues I’m reading about is there are some sites that are being malicious and have fake files. Probably trying to get info from the users computer.

      • Anonymous says:

        Yet another hobbyist on SA. What a surprise.

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes — there are already fake data files out there with viruses. I suspect that AM team is doing that.

        If the AM people were smart, they would also put out a bunch of bogus excel files on the web. They could easily do some random resorting on the excel files then none of the phone numbers, addresses, names, etc would match up. It would give there past members an out.

      • Eloquence says:

        @ Bay

        I unfortunately have to agree with you. The stay at home mom’s and PTA go getters of the world who are already being taken care of, who are spoiled and conveniently never put out for their husbands and let gravity take it course, (no, not all and I am not claiming all, nor lumping the stereotype all together on my mindset) yet and still…75% of them…Let themselves go and make the rest of everyone’s life difficult by their relentlessness for their need to add in wanted banter and gossip into others lives that would be better of if a remote control could be used to “mute” them in their entirety.

        Why, by no means am I bitter. It is no different than the old rendition of a Baptist Church committee formulating how they will spend their in taxed, free, donations for the betterment of all. Alrighty, soap box adjourned as my gavel echoes on the hard enameled wood.

  142. THEATLSD says:

    @ONSD In an earlier post you stated the pictures on AM are exclusive to the site. I do not understand that and how the hackers could not see them or copy them?

    • Josh says:

      Of course hackers could see or copy the photos. But due to the size of the database they may have opted for just text and not photos. Image download might have caused AM data administers to notice their hack. So they may have excluded photos for reasons of their own and not because they could not get at the photos.

    • THEATLSD says:

      @josh. That’s what I thought but wanted to make sure I was not missing something. The picture files being to big for the hackers is definitely plausible. If they did there would be no denying someone stole your email.

      I just read a article where some men are already confessing to wives. Also everyone is focusing on the men but there are a few real women on there.

    • Josh says:

      Most men should be able to avoid serious problem as there were not sufficient women on the site for many men to cheat with.

      So a reasonably sensible wife who wants to continue the marriage will get past it. Only those who wanted to get out will use it as excuse to do so.

      Some men will be royally screwed by wives and other adverseries. The rest will be fine.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        When I first created the profile on AM I got a ton of messages, but couldn’t read them without buying in…I bought in and found out they were all fake…I used my credits to see if there were ANY real women and found ONE meth addict…

        The funny part…when I joined SA I found a lot of profile overlap with AM, but no responses on AM and quick responses on SA…guess the obvious financial aspect of SA was a better draw?

        Oh, I also saw that AFF had a data breach as well…I think there will be enough reason to downplay any accusations…but…I’m putting SA pursuits on hold until this shit blows over…

    • Anonymous says:

      @ATL – I meant I only used the pics on that site…I thought that was a security measure…now I’m second guessing that strategy…if they’re not posted anywhere else and they become available, it could solidify any thoughts about intent…

  143. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    I find it interesting…the sites I visited to check myself have all been “taken down” because of AM legal pressure…So…AM cares more about keeping people from checking their own information than they did to protect the information in the first place!

    • MissLady says:

      too late to try to stop the bleeding now….

      At least the sites that sprung up were only letting you search by email address. But there are plenty of how to’s out there for accessing the raw data and searching by names…

    • Josh says:

      AM does not give a shit about its users. How can a company care about it users when it charges a fee to remove members’ information from their servers, and does not remove it even then.

    • Josh says:

      I wish that AM’s members start suing the site for various grievances, including fake female profiles.

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        There was already a class action law suit against the parent company about the fake profiles…I have a feeling there will be another one after the fallout happens with this shit…I know if it ruins my life I’ll be speaking with an attorney about going after them…

      • Elaine says:

        Maybe check this.
        Don’t think users can claim anything….! 🙁


    • MissLady says:

      well, if they survive this, it should be taught in colleges or something lol. Locally they’re already pointing out high ranking officials that were on the site (no names, just positions), the fact that there were a lot of gov’t/fed workers, military personnel, politicians and Nasa workers too

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        They are still sending out the “New Member Alerts” so they’re still trying to function…not that I’d click through, or even revisit the site again…

    • Josh says:

      How dumb do you have to be to use your work/government email id for AM? 😉

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        I’m sure there are those on SA as well…even if it isn’t email address, there is probably government or work credit cards used…

        I went to the pwned site Elaine shared. I typed in my email address. It was a green light. I asked to be notified and when I confirmed my email address it showed as red because of the AM breach…so…I’m not sure what to think at this point…the nice part, it’s a non-connected email address…and I know I didn’t use my personal cc…but…I’m not sure about the name search…

      • MissLady says:

        Apparently dumb enough to think with the wrong head

        As for the name search ONSD, depending on what threats AM puts out, it will only be a matter of time before a format will be posted to search by name. As it is now, the torrent file of the data dumps are floating around and thousands have downloaded them. From what I’ve read, the CC information is at least obscurred or just using the last 4 of the number (or something like that).

        the things that make big data people sigh….

      • Prospective SD says:

        I have the entire file and the CC’s are only the last four digits. I totalled up one months’ worth of billing and it was over $10,000,000.00!! I am in the wrong business…lol

      • Prospective SD says:

        Check that, that was a few years ago file…now it is $55,000,000/month!!

      • Anonymous says:

        wow and I don’t see them recovering from this event.

        I am guessing they wish they would have invested a little bit more in site security.

    • Elaine says:


      Does that really surprise you?!

    • Elaine says:

      There is a lot of new ones up again, just Google them!

    • Promise says:

      That’s fine, but that only a temporary fix since the files are still in the Dark Web. Eventually there’s going to be a YouTube video telling people how to get to the Dark Web, and get to the files. It was pretty smart of the hackers to post the info their since it’s basically the most anonymous part of the internet. Finding them is virtually impossible. Good luck AM.

  144. Josh says:

    I watched “I am Femen” movie on Netflix in fast forward mode…only to stop at topless protests. 😉

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Femen is run by a man anyway, he picks all the best looking women to protest topless and runs everything [[http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/04/femen-man-topless-protests-victor-vyatski]]

    • Josh says:

      Interesting indeed @cryptic.

  145. Sugarcane says:

    I never see any SDs posting their profile on here in search of advice. Why is that; preemptively subconscious about linking mine.

    • THEATLSD says:

      Sugarcane. There has been a few SD ask for advice. I’m sure there are a few SB that would love to help you out.

    • Lovelynyours says:

      Most don’t because they mistakenly believe their money is all they need to get a quality SB. Sadly, they are wrong. As long as you’ve got the right philosophy regarding SBs and an appropriate approach to sugar, people will be happy to help.

      • Anonymous says:

        Au contraire! Many of us believe that we have mastered the art of the sale and have the literary skills to back it up. Of course, there are those who think they are the big swingin’ dick and that’s all it takes but…

      • lovelynyours says:

        This is, on some level, what I’m referring to. Many of you have mastered the art of the sale? What about the art of actually being an SD after the sales pitch is over? The fact that some believe their work is just about done after the pitch is precisely part of the issue around philosophy and approach. Keep your “literary skills” – whatever that even means to you – quality SBs are looking for more substance than that.

      • IHF2030 says:

        Do women on here actually look at a man’s profile beyond the income/net worth/allowance offered, seriously?

      • lovelynyours says:

        Yes. Yes, we absolutely do, IHF. Maybe the escorts don’t, but a quality SB certainly does.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        The only search features I use is age, height, relationship status, and body type. I never conduct searches based on income net work or allowance. I actually read the profiles if it’s only two sentences long I pass. Bad attitude or a braggart I pass.

    • zito says:

      I am actually open to thoughts on mine, although I am not currently looking for a sb, but I am not afraid of criticism either

      • lovelynyours says:

        A few punctuation issues aside, it’s not bad. No red flags, you addressed some natural concerns many SBs have in searching on SA. I like to get more on interests/passions you have so that I have something to bond over in an initial message to you, but that’s a personal preference.

      • zito says:

        I was looking at the profile the other day, and I agree, I punctuated like a 5 year old…thanks lovely

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Probably a couple of reasons, most men don’t like to ask for advice anyway as we tend to be more independent. Also being SD’s we are older so we tend to know what to write on our profiles and what we are looking for. I have considered putting mine up for feedback as well.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Cryptic, I can understand your first point, but not your second. I’ve seen nearly the same % of poor SD profiles as I have seen of poor SB profiles.

  146. THEATLSD says:

    We have the first famous person outted on AM.
    Josh Duggar. From the TLC show. I think he is the molester dude.

    It’s going to be a long week.
    The experts are saying the hackers were in there for a long time before being caught. They dug hard.

    • Promise says:

      I can’t really say I’m surprised at that. IT’s kinda funny though because of how religious that family is.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      Since it’s been “released” on the “normal” internet I did a search, but couldn’t find the data to search for me.

      Here’s the thing…I’m a small enough fish, it would take someone suspecting the infidelity to search for me…I’m not sure it’s reached that level yet…

      Here’s the OTHER thing…even if I’m identified…most articles note the over abundance of fake profiles on the female side. I can HONESTLY say that I interacted with ONE real person on that site. Met her for coffee and was immediately convinced she was on meth and ended the meeting that quickly…didn’t have any other communications go beyond receiving a second message from someone.

      Read another article that said something like “at least AM had some security, as other dating or adult sites had NO PROTECTIONS for customer information”…

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      Oh, and if the IRS can’t figure out how long the hackers had been accessing taxpayer files, I can’t fault AM for missing the hackers for however long they were in there…it’s VERY scary nowadays…no security…

  147. Prospective SD says:

    Just downloaded the cc files for every day that I bought from AM and for five days afterwards then searched for my name….not there….thank you prepaid cc’s!!

  148. Anonymous says:

    Conspiracy theory..

    “What if” the hack never really happened? But just like someone whispers a story in someone’s ear in school and then waits for it to be repeated by every child until the story grows and grows to: “A wool-ie monster in a closet attacked someone.” That was actually: “A wool-ie mop-broom crashed and fell.”

    Then, all of a sudden, millions of the “guilty” people that DID cheat or just decided to let their hair down, rush like a mighty wind to the “check site” while all of their personal information is obtained and transferred in a blink of an eye.

  149. Josh says:

    Memebrs must demand removal of accounts by SA when asked.

    • Anonymous says:

      Somebody capable of doing so will hunt those hackers down like the dirty dogs that they are . They will be looking over their shoulders for as long as they are here .

    • Josh says:

      You’re correct. What these hackers have done is terrorism, and I am sure that someone is going to hurt real bad and “may” decide to go after them with all they are left with when their social/financial/emotional situation is ruined. I don’t know if I support vigilantism, but who can blame them.

      • Anonymous says:

        There are many wealthy ,powerful victims who will have plenty left. Worst case scenario is a divorce-how many have not already been there ,done that. Politicos might have the most to lose .

      • Anonymous says:

        Yeah sure the FBI will catch them 😉 and how long did it take the FBI to catch Eric Rudolph when they had a man hunt going on for years and they knew who he was. But wait, they technically never did bc he pretty much gave himself up due to being hungry and lonely in the woods.

  150. SouthernSB says:

    I found a SD that I’ve been talking to for the last few months in the AM data dump. I’m going to let him know about it, the last thing he needs right now is the drama of a pissed off wife to add to all the stuff he’s going through with his family right now.

    • lovelynyours says:

      That’s kind of you. Whether he’s aware or not will not likely change the outcome between he and his wife, whatever that may be, but at least he’ll get a heads up that a storm may be on the horizon.

  151. Elaine says:

    Ok, have decided to send message to SD to warn him his email is on the hackers list.

    Don’t know if it was a smart thing to do from my point of view
    For certain reasons, it might have big consequences for our relationship.

    But he has always been so good for me, I felt I needed to let him know,
    so at least he is prepared in case the shit hits his fan. 🙁

    Let’s just hope for everybody involved that the SO’s are not suspicious, or clever enough, to work their way through thousands of Excel files!

    • maggie1234 says:

      here was absolutely nothing in the news on TV , just some articles in online media but generally ones and no fuzz about the whole situation.
      And I am happy for that !!!

      • Elaine says:

        Hmm, let’s hope it will stay out of TV and journals…

        What I have seen online is not very encouraging though, I am afraid it will not take long before the info is more easy accessible as it is right now.

        But hey! @Maggie, it seems like we are the only ones worrying here, whereas we are both not even married!

      • maggie1234 says:

        I am only worrying that married SDs ( which are most of them ) will fly away from sugar bowl and I just started to have some fun ;(
        I don’t want them to go away……

      • THEATLSD says:

        @Maggie. I think that’s is a legitmate concern. There just maybe an exodus of married SD. Or they will move other venues that they feel are more secure.

      • Elaine says:



        That is my concern too!
        SDs getting afraid, or even worse; outed!

        I don’t even want to think about the consequences of his wife finding out!
        Shit could hit me too in case she does some logical thinking. 🙁

      • maggie1234 says:

        my ex BF was on the an excel ( randomly I´ve open one in every month ,for fun ) and made searches by city or country or email and I found his last 4 digits of his credit card , his home address , full name, work email address and his IP ad´dress ( I think ) and some other things but my excel dosent work as it should. I have texted him, but his was just newly divorced by that time ( 2010) and he did care as he didn’t answered me back.

      • maggie1234 says:

        *he didn’t care

      • Reb. says:

        Every guy I went on a date with from SA knew about it (even girls who aren’t into sugaring). It was huge on the news.

      • Elaine says:


        Sure, the hack has been in the news all the time.

        But now the info is out.
        And that is a different story!

    • maggie1234 says:

      the thing with the excel files is that are total of 2.642 files.
      just open one now randomly and it has 4346 names plus detailed info.
      it´s insane to guess on which day he made a payment to the website so you will know what day/month/year to look in too.
      but probably somebody will gather all the big data somehow…..
      I am so…
      I had a day off work today I was following the subject after i< have downloaded it from Tor.
      I only hope and pray that at least here things will keep calm.
      as I can imagine a lot of SD are deleting their profiles right now..

      • THEATLSD says:

        @Maggie. You are doing yoemans work. Keep it going and posted on any new revelations. Especially if pictures start showing up.

      • Elaine says:


        Well “deleting” will not really help, that I have found out the hard way on SA myself.
        And millions of AM users who deleted too…

        I would like to ask you something, but don?t want the eventual answer to wake any sleeping dogs.

        Would you mind mailing me?
        elainesablog at google mail

      • maggie1234 says:

        Elaine sure. I have sent you an email

    • Catcher 22 says:

      RE: AM. From what I understand, it seems a lot of solid organic waste matter has already hit the air circulating device.

    • Sugarcane says:

      What is the general consensus among you SBs about dating married men in terms of being that ‘other woman’.

      • lovelynyours says:

        I used to have hangups about this, but that was back when I was a lot more naive about marriage and relationships. Experiences of life shaped my position on this a bit further, and now I don’t have as much of an issue with it, morally. I do, however, find it a bit more inconvenient if he is married – the spontaneity is often diminished and more structure / rules become a part of the arrangement than I’d usually prefer.

        The only reason why I’m open to it, however, is because I know I’d never fall for the guy; I’d never get too emotionally invested. I know this is going to sound wild since I’m saying I’d help him cheat, but there’s something about a guy who cheats that renders him damaged goods.

        Kind of like the saying, “you can’t make a ho a housewife”? You can’t make a cheater a boyfriend, either. I always need a connection in an arrangement, but I wouldn’t get so emotionally invested that it becomes dangerous.

      • Elaine says:


        I prefer to be “The Mistress”, not “The Wife”

        “Mistresses” get nice lingerie to wear.
        “Wives” dirty socks to wash! 😉

  152. Elaine says:

    @maggie1234 says:
    August 19, 2015 at 9:22 am

    Just amused myself 5 min. by checking some of my pot’s and SD’s there.
    Well, not really surprised to find back at least half of them. 😉

    Found myself back too, once made a profile I deleted one week later.
    But since I am not married and didn’t use my CC, no problem.

    But no doubt it is accurate!

  153. Elaine says:

    For what it’s worth, but here you should be able to check if your data are hacked:


    Don’t know how reliable it is though?

    • maggie1234 says:

      is reliable.
      The thing with AM is that the user doesn’t necessarily need to confirm email address on registration. But the ones that did and subscribed are in there and they cant deny it.
      Plus the info from the Credit Cards info cant be denied as it has -most of them physical address, name, email address ,some phone numbers .
      In Finland ( that is the only one I have checked so far ) even if the had bogus emails when they have paid they have out real names and real home addresses.

      • maggie1234 says:

        I am saying that is reliable as I have checked several email addresses that I know as a fact as they are users and it was confirmed. I have checked some I know they didn’t ( 4 of mine ) and it was eligible from that point.

    • maggie1234 says:

      The Credit Card file folder is huge,
      There is an excel for every day payment made starting from 21.03. 2008 until 28 June2015.
      There are 2462 big excel files that has info

      • Elaine says:

        This is serious sh*t for a lot of people!!

        What are these hackers after, if not blackmail for money?
        This is going to ruin lives, for what sake?

        Have seen my actual and ex SD emails confirmed, am in serious doubt now, should I warn them?
        Or let them live in blissful ignorance and hope it will not have consequences for them?
        Anyway, even if they know, there is nothing they can do at this stage I suppose..

        Should make SA seriously think though…hope this will open up their eyes!
        If they would hack SA it is even worse, because it is not only cheating on your SO, but even paying for it!

      • maggie1234 says:

        really fu*ked up sh*t.
        I have found so many powerful men in there.
        Most of them were CEOs but found 2 politicians,lawyers and gizzaz..important people here in FI.
        I waiting on the local news to see if something happens .
        Hopefully NOT !!!

      • Reb. says:

        “What are these hackers after, if not blackmail for money?”

        I read they were angry over the “removal fee” to get info off the site.

      • Elaine says:


        Well it seems sick to cause big potential problems for 37 million members because you are pissed off about a removal fee of $19…

      • lovelynyours says:

        Yes. It is, however, the absolute most effective means of attacking a company they hold issue with AND getting people to think twice before creating a membership to any others. Ah, the casualties of war…

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        I read it wasn’t just the removal fee, but the fact that AM didn’t remove the info after the members had paid to have the info removed…it was the lies by AM (and actually info from their Established Men site as well) parent company that prompted the release. They felt justified because it was cheaters that were on there…so…they’re attacking the company and feel justified because of the morality of the site.

        If SA isn’t checking their servers almost EVERY SECOND…

        Oh, and if you’re a SD, I hope you didn’t use the same email address or same password on multiple sites, because you could be giving them an easy access to the other sites!

    • Anonymous says:

      I used [[checkashleymadison.com]] and it appears bogus. The site Elaine mentioned appears legit. Someone is going to spend a lot of time going through those spreadsheets.

      • Elaine says:

        I checked [[checkashleymadison.com]] and it was VERY accurate.
        As far as I could check, I would say it was 100% accurate!

      • Anonymous says:

        Interesting Elaine — I put in an email address I just made a few months ago, and I never went on AM with it, and it showed up as a concern. Maybe the AM emails and then some?

      • Elaine says:


        What can I see, I don’t know, am not an expert.
        All I can see is that the mails I checked seemed accurate.

        Better cross check both sites then?

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        the checkashleymadison.com site has been taken down now…

  154. Prospective SD says:

    Just had an interaction with a new to the scene SB who is looking for emergency tuition money. Says that I should trust her and apply no conditions to the money that others who she is talking to but has yet to meet with are not setting any. She disappeared for 10 days during our discussions and said she went somewhere that was not consistent with where SA said she was logging in from. Don’t think she knows that SA tells us SD’s that info.

    I like her but have serious concerns…

  155. Josh says:

    The only way SA or any company for that matter will take the permanent deletion seriously is when there’s case against them.

  156. THEATLSD says:

    Here is some light reading for y’all in between downloading the AM files.


    P.S. Blog SB don’t turn in to her.

  157. Dale says:

    Has anyone figured out how to delete their history from SA site? I have “deleted” messages that are over 2 years old in my deleted folder.

    And as far as I can tell, there is no way to actually delete an SA account entirely. They just make it inactive, and you can write them years later and they will turn it on again. Given the AM hack, I am surprised that SA is not cleaning up their act and addressing the security issue.

    From SA site:


    How do I restore my deleted account?
    To start the process, please contact Customer Support and provide the email address you previously used to access the account. Your old profile information will still be there, but you will need to upload a new photo.