5 years ago
7 Sugar Daddy Messaging Mistakes


The best part of the sugar-seeking process is finding someone who ‘clicks’ with all the special things you’re looking for. But what are you saying to draw those potential sugary sweet interests? Are your messages sending Sugar Babies for the hills, or is your verbiage ironed out to a Rico Suave-T? We’ve collected the top seven complaints from Sugar Baby users to beef up your messaging approach and snag some refined Sugar.

Dig For The Details

The biggest component of finding who you desire to spend time with is asking the right questions. If a darling Sugar Baby opens your message with anticipation only to find a wall of text with nothing but “I-I-I,” then a serious problem is occurring. There must be a balance between talking about yourself and learning about this beautiful person on the other side of the screen. Sugar Babies should actively contribute to the conversation, yet Sugar Daddies must put forth an effort to be genuine.

Keep The Insults To Yourself

Do you remember the old adage “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all…”?

No possible leading lady wants to hear (or read) aggressive language. While some ladies do have a colorful vocabulary, take time to feel this characteristic out with potential Sugar Babies. Don’t overwhelm them with the full, in-living-color version of yourself before having a moment to say “hello” and maybe a first and last name.

Ignoring the Obvious

Commonly forgotten points such as names, or previously discussed topics, give the impression that you’re not focused and possibly even lazy. If the user has already answered your question, and all it takes is scrolling the page up to a previous conversation, then you will clearly look like someone who is inattentive. Save yourself the embarrassment and be “present” in the first go-round of messaging back and forth.

Look Out For Grammar

The hardest part of searching for someone special to share your time with, is not being able to translate the sentences within a message. This certainly applies both ways, Sugar Daddies! There is no single way to fix the faux paux of improper use. Especially if you are dealing with a Sugar Baby who is in college and attune to these types of errors. Consider drafting your messages in Word or Google Docs before you shoot off an essay riddled with typos.

Mixing Up Convo’s

Every guy wants to have that moment in life where they have an opportunity to play the “sugar field.” The risk of your newfound freedom is the possibility of mixing up conversations. If you really are on the fence with multiple potential Sugar Babies, be sure to scroll up for a quick reacquaintance before moving forward with a response. The best way to keep a story straight is to always tell the truth. When you claim false interests or elaborate certain details, then the likelihood of addressing Tanya as Amber and her adoration for strawberries instead of mangos become apparent. Do you catch my drift?

The Away From Desk Dater

If your Sugar Baby is receiving responses every 4-7 days instead of hours apart, her interest is going to wain. These are the moments where you will definitely need to explain yourself. If you message someone on a Tuesday and they do not hear from you until the following Monday, this makes you appear to be playing the field (which you may / may not be) or simply not interested. I always advise practicing some self control. Instead of messaging a potential Sugar Baby as soon as you see her, wait until you will be accessible before reaching out. That could mean waiting a few hours or days, but if a Sugar match is meant to be, she will be waiting for you.

Don’t Lie

My final, and perhaps greatest tip to all Sugar Daddies is the need to avoid LIES.

The Black Eyed Peas could not have said it any better. Lies will get you into trouble. If you are seeking discretion, lies will get you caught. Do not state in your first message that you are leaving your wife, if you know in the back of your mind that the conversation has never arose. Do not claim to have a wall of college degrees when all you possess is a GED. These are details that come up in conversation as you become more comfortable with each other. You’re bound to slip up at some point, especially if there are multiple Babies in the Sugar Bowl.

What advice would you give to a Sugar Daddy eager to send that next message?

Leave a Reply

749 Responses to “7 Sugar Daddy Messaging Mistakes”

  1. Texashunterman says:

    My account was suspended. I didn’t do anything ugly or me mean to anyone. Messaged a lot but i am a Gold Member? What is the deal

  2. Anonymous says:

    why am I only receiving messages from really ugly poor men? Is my profile not up to par or am I just ugly?

  3. Shonae says:

    So I messaged a SD that favorited me and things went well enough for him to receive my number but 3 hours after sending it to him he unfavorited me and hasn’t texted me yet. What do I make of something like this? Does it happen often?

    • Anonymous says:

      He’s moved on, you should too.

    • Anonymous says:

      He researched you and changed his mind. Home addresses, social media, etc etc etc etc etc available through your phone number.

    • ?!?!?!?! says:

      Why would you give someone you haven’t met yet, your phone number?!? That’s just crazy, especially on this site…… Very unsafe

      • Anonymous says:

        How do you tell them you don’t want to give him your number until we talk about price of contacting by text or phone

      • Anonymous says:

        “How do you tell them you don’tt want to give him your number…” it’s that simple all you say is i don’t give out my number until after th first meeting but if you’d like to get to know each other to see if we have chemistry before meeting?

      • Anonymous says:

        You lost me at “but”.

        You can’t judge chemistry unless you are face to face people.

  4. Xylaaas says:

    If a SD has nothing to say besides he wants a “NSA, playmate and mentee” with nothing describing him/her or what he’s looking for…?? But he wants to meet sometime….?

    (How can I say no thanks?)

  5. Sabah says:

    I am from India and been in SA over a month now. Sadly there are no Sugar daddy .. All are Salt!!! People with low standards are using SA platform to have free S** . I guess in India they misunderstood the concept of SA.

  6. Anonymous says:

    i keep getting a messages saying

  7. Delphine says:

    I like how two paragraphs after the paragraph on grammar and proper usage, the author uses “wain” instead of “wane”.

    (No judgement just perceptive)

  8. Sweetie says:

    Do all SD have multiple SB? Or do some just have 1?

  9. Pinecrest says:

    Are black women hated on this site?

    • HunniDarling says:

      I’ve often wondered that…I’ve also wondered if Men just saw it as an ‘experience/fetish/notch-in-their-belt’…

      But there are a few genuine ones on there…you just have to put yourself out there and send a message to them unless they specifically state in their profile that they aren’t interested in the latter…But I find that, when talking to a few men, most men of other races just don’t specify when putting it through a search engine or just don’t give it second thought. And some just like what they like.

      My advice: As stated before, put yourself out there and send a few messages letting them know you’re interested.
      If you’re declined, don’t call yourself trying to change their mind…adults usually don’t work well that way, Haha. Just wish them luck and move on. You’ll most likely be viewed as overly aggressive and they may feel they’ve dodged a bullet, if you keep pressing for them to ‘give it a try’. Biggest advice I’ve ever received is, DONT GIVE UP. You’ll find someone who’s meant for you. <3

  10. VirtuousOne says:

    know what you want. that’s it. then it will come to you.

  11. Isla80 says:

    Not sure where all the hate for black women is coming from. I do’t have any problem attracting men. In fact, I get hit on more by white men than anyone else (I’m guessing that’s because there are more of them around).

    No one is going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but an attractive woman of ANY race will have men chasing after her.

  12. Anonymous says:

    It’s a faux pas, not a faux paux. Use your own advice!

  13. joyce:) says:

    its been almost a year since i joined this site and i havent met a daddy yet..
    why is it so hard for me

  14. Anonymous says:

    i need a daddy..

  15. Ace of Spades ;) says:

    I just want to say anonymously thank you so much Brandon Wade and everyone over on your team. You have already given me 4 perfect options and lots of fun along the way of my 10 months with you all! I found Handsome good men and the credit goes to you and what you created. What you put out you get back. I hope all the complainers read that! A great Leo, a Sagittarius, an Aries, a Virgo and I found another Leo on my home, all with in my age range pre perfect arrangement. The new website is too expensive but should be awesome. I will decide by January. All one needs on this website is to be calm and patient with the process. See you all in full bloom!

  16. Anonymous says:

    Don’t start the conversation like this ” Wanna Play”? Not everyone kisses on the first date!

  17. Sawduster says:

    Look Out for the Grammar.
    “Consider drafting your messages in Word or Google Docs before you shoot off an essay riddled with typos.”
    And learn the difference between “wain” and “wane”

  18. Anonymous says:

    Being new here is kind of nerve racking…but I’m optimistic. My one and only SD passed away suddenly, a year ago. I focused inwardly and spent my time working on my home. I didn’t realize how much I missed him. He was my best friend and confidante. As I was his also. I’m worried I won’t find that again. We were very discreet. I admired him, looked up to him and always respected our arrangement. My friends never knew who he was and I appreciated the privacy we had. It was fun, loving, joyful. I think I went on too much about it in my bio. I’m not sure how this all works but I will figure out…like most things. The men here seem to look cleancut. I like that.

  19. JessieAA says:

    I have noticed that men would message me saying that I am an attractive African American woman, or that they are not interested in African American Women. The problem is that I am not African American. My profile says mixed race I am native American and Puerto Rican. So should I just put my race in my Bio?

    • Anonymous says:

      It doesn’t matter if you aren’t AA. Do you really want to go out with racists? The nerve of them. What if I emailed them and said,”sorry, I don’t date guys with grey hair.” “Sorry, I do not date men with brown eyes.”

      • Jaybird923 says:

        How are they racist for not wanting to date AA women? If a black man says he only dates black women no one calls him a racist. If a black man dates outside of his race black women are the first ones to call him a sell out. Look at that whole controversy over that rapper Kendrik Lamar’s fiance.

  20. Anonymous says:

    you are not going find men who pay more than 10k a month on this website.

    even if you do, it’s not going to last very long.

  21. BeautyandClassy says:

    After my last SD it has been so hard to find a new SD. I definitely got more messages when I first started SA and while I was in a relationship with my last SD. I just don’t know what it is that’s keeping me from finding another one. Is it where I live? my age? my race? I have no idea anymore. I want the lifestyle I had a month ago so bad again.

    • no name says:

      beautyandclassy your a attractive lady but i found your profile too long i almost fell asleep reading it all i think all you need to do is redo your profile just stick with what is important to you thats why we have messages to find out the rest good luck in your search

    • anonymous says:

      You live in Utah. Home of latter Day Saints. Perhaps think of going to college out of state. Also, please be careful. You are super young! I hope you tell a friend where you are going when you go on these SD dates.

    • IHF2030 says:

      Most white men are not attracted to black females and I imagine that to be especially true in Utah. Head to a large urban area like New York City where lots of jewish guys reside. Unlike white men it seems that plenty of jewish males are interested in black females so play to your target market, simple.

      • Anon says:

        Most light-skinned Jews think of themselves as “white, I suppose” (we keep looking for the check box for “Jewish” on those affirmative action forms). Anyway, in my experience American Jews *in general* are no more or less racially biased than anyone else in America. Personally, race is not a factor in determining whether I find a young woman pretty and attractive. But I don’t think that Jews are much different from Christians in that regard.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Given the advice about correct grammar, the grammatical errors in this piece are particularly amusing! Especially the one in the paragraph about grammar. The other glaring one is in the paragraph about terminological inexactitudes.

  23. NewYorkStar says:

    hey made my account a little while ago haven’t really been active on here but im trying give this a try any pointers ?

  24. Anonymous says:

    They forgot “requesting photos before saying hello” and “not getting background checks”.

  25. BeautyOf2015 says:

    I find it hard as well in search of a SD. I AM SILL learning about this and made it clear I’m what I’m looking for,discreet purposes I added photos in my private sector. But every SD profile it seems like don’t like black women, or maybe I’m looking in the wrong place. Then I’m judged because I’m not skinny, but I’m like just because I’m not that doesn’t mean I don’t take care of myself. I’m venting a bit I guess don’t mind me. I’ll still continue being nice and genuine in my approach,in hopes the right person will come along 🙂

    • SD says:

      Black women seem to be in less demand than white on SA . Also weight challenged girls of all races do as well. Keep at it and you will get the SD you deserve

      • BeautyOf2015 says:

        Thank you for that! Much appreciated insight. 🙂

      • Riviera says:

        What about Black women not looking for sex?

      • blackgirl says:

        being black girl from africa , it hasn’t been too hard for me. i just kept rejecting the ones that came my way until this European SD came along. we like each other alot and is gonna give me a few thousand dollars per month and he is already making plans to build a couple of businesses for me. i dont know why he is so into me but iam gonna enjoy it while it lasts , but the point is, only European men have shown interest in my profile. SO maybe you might wanna reach out to the European SD as most are comfortable with interracial and long distance relationships

    • uboat509 says:

      It is a matter of patience, waiting, changing yourself for the better, taking care of yourself, how do you present yourself, revising your profile, etc.

      It has taken me about two years to connect with the type of SB I was seeking. This after countless inbox message exchanges and several first meet-and-greet dates, and a couple of several weeks dating, getting to know each other, and then finding some incompatibilities, for instance. So, buckle up, and continue, best of luck.

  26. brandnewToSaNYC says:

    Hello everyone,

    i am a young man, who lives in NYC, i am educated, very respectable, and sociable, and i would say for the most part i am a decent looking person, i have been on this site for almost a year and have yet to meet 1 person!

    what am i doing wrong?

    • J_Naz says:

      well i looked at your profile, i would say 2 points
      1-have a face public photo, to be honest thats a big help,,, dont think twice about it, basic picture attraction is important.
      2- change few things in your profile, and try to make it shorter.
      i hope you pick up a good opening line, good luck

  27. Alex says:

    Ask for Heroin blood test if begs for cash everyday.

  28. USMMChris says:

    The biggest things, from my limited experience and conversations with others, are two points, one of which was mentioned(should have been #1). And yes, these are directed at my fellow “daddies”, but also can apply to the ladies too:

    – DON’T LIE. Yeah, an astronaut is far more interesting and eye grabbing than, say, truck driver – but unless you got the credentials to back up your claim, you’re going to be exposed as a fraud damn quick. Likewise, if you’re just looking for a pay to play kind of arrangement, don’t make yourself sound like a hopeless romantic looking for something you have no interest in. You could message 100 people, and one of them is guaranteed to say yes – regardless of what you do for a living or what you’re looking for. Honesty is key – and is far more rewarding in the long run.

    – DON’T JUGGLE MULTIPLE PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME. After awhile, you’ll wind up accidently mistaking one for another, either by saying the wrong name, or suggesting the wrong activity, etc. It’s ultimately up to you and what you are capable of handling, but the larger number of people, the more likely you’ll make a mistake – and it could cost you your baby/daddy.

    And perhaps one big thing that I’ve noticed on other message boards or chat rooms that cater to sugar relationships – people tend to talk about the ones they have met. Let’s face it – yes, it’s a large world – but people talk. And reputations tend to be formed. You never know who your latest interest may know – it could be a friend of the baby/daddy you just burned the previous week. This goes along with both of the things I mentioned above. Keep it real, honest and let the good times roll for you and your baby/daddy.

    • Niyaful says:

      I find it hard to find an SD who messages me without a creepy vibe. I don’t have an interest in the ones who message me to meet without even messaging me before hand. I’ve posted my thoughts to this on another blog as well. If I’m not interested in something then I will say it straight up. I have not time to play and juggle around and change someones mind about what they want. If someone doesn’t have the same interests as me, then we are better of finding others. There are plenty of people on this site, me and a failed interest will sure no problem finding someone interested in the same things. My safety comes first and foremost, and will not be willing to meet someone who does not agree with me on that.

    • Riviera says:

      DON’T JUGGLE MULTIPLE PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME, hmmm so when you spend four weeks and then she just ghosts? Have a back up, and a back up for the back up otherwise you will never meet anyone…

    • uboat509 says:

      While I agree with this statement, the nature of sites like this inherently forces people to ‘juggle’ with multiple people. Allow me to explain. We are advised, in online dating, that one can send several messages, to POT SBs, but unfortunately, not all of them will respond. A certain percentage may reply, and we initiate conversations that may lead to an initial meeting. I have been in several initial meet-and-greet with several lovely ladies, only to find out, face to face, that they are, in reality, looking for something else. Most of the time, a bigger allowance, for instance. I have also found myself meeting some ladies whose pictures where several years old, and they do not look anymore like them, 20+ pounds overweight and missing some teeth, or many tattoos clearly concealed in their shared pictures, etc.

      If we add to those scenarios the fact that, more than ever before, we live very busy and fast paced lives. There is simply not enough hours in the day, or the week, to dedicated time, exclusively, to one person only, in the hopes that she or he is the one we are seeking. If we inbox someone, and they respond in two or three days, how can we expect to wait and not “juggle” — meaning make contact — with others, who perhaps are less busy. At some point, we may have two to five inbox conversations going on concurrently, as we are in the explorative phase of who is out there available.

      If a SD “interviews”, in a couple of weeks, three POT SBs, and makes it clear, to all of them, that they are in the discovery and decision making process, it should not be an issue with any lack of honesty. Once he decides to go with one, and start the arrangement, then of course, politely inform the other potentials about the decision and thank them for their time, which is always appreciated. Maybe I am wrong, but that process seems to me acceptable, and honest.

  29. Check me out on tumblr mizzwickedofficial or google me mizz wicked 🙂 Im pretty famous on the internet lol

  30. I dont mind sex but I hate it when men want it handed to them easy. I havent found the right SD who is a gentleman but a freak at the right time. I know SB are about no sex blah blah blah… I dont think I can handle not having sex for 6+dates if a man makes me feel like a princess and being respected.

  31. krine says:

    If you want to talk , call me at the number below 237670710275

    • Elaine says:


      Your desperation is getting really obvious and sad….
      Can you please leave the blog alone and just a profile to find an SD?

      And if you can’t attract them there, maybe there is a reason?

  32. krine says:

    hello I seek an attentive man who could take care of me and looking for a girl listening to her that could take care of him as a beautiful baby, pampered as he wants and needs of any desire. seek and find .

  33. LadySerendipity says:

    Personally what I find most awkward is when a man’s first message says nothing. I like conversation, especially before we meet up, because it gives me a hint of what kind of person he is. After all, photographs rarely do a person justice. Let me know who you are! Charm me a little with your wit and writing. That’s the kind of thing that gives me the butterflies in anticipation of getting to know more of you.

  34. Willow S says:

    This is SO true I want just one SD who is interested in me 🙂 not just them and truly enjoys the idea of having a young lady around to be with and spoil 🙂 I think the other SB’s must have me beat :/ No worries. If you SDs are just nice to your SBs I’m sure few will turn you away

  35. Willow S says:

    This is SO true I want just one SD who is interested in me 🙂 not just them and truly enjoys the idea of having a young lady around to be with and spoil 🙂 I think the other SB’s must have me beat :/ No worries. If you SBs are just nice to your SBs I’m sure few will turn you away

  36. anon says:

    Or insinuating that out first meeting is going to be purely based on sex.come on not going to offer me a date or a shopping trip or dinner first?
    I get sex is important but a lot of people seem to base it purely on a quick fuck.
    cue the dude that told me he hated strippers which I worked as at the time but told me he wanted to have have sex 17 times in four days to beat the record of his previous baby who was coming off hard drugs. – he was essentially looking for a prostitute and told me strippers are gross. needless to say I blocked his number.
    or another “you free for a couple of hours tonight”. never met the guy before either, made it sound like he was either an undercover cop searching for prostitutes or looking for a quickie.
    also acting like earning 100g a year makes you a sugar daddy, the average Australian wage was just checked in at $156,000.

  37. StylishBeauty says:

    Lol, how are any of you successful with this much time on your hands?

  38. Anonymous says:

    I agree with this post 100%. A few more tips can be added though but thats mainly it.

  39. SickOfIt says:

    Tip for all SD, stop acting like this isn’t an arrangement. Tell us up front what you have to offer and if we agree, great. Honestly, we don’t want relationships

  40. Sabrina321 says:

    Hey lovelies!
    I wonder if any fellow SB or SD would mind looking at my profile and give me some feedback? Honestly I found it a bit of a struggle writing it, Do not be afraid to be brutally honest.


  41. Bebe says:

    Very true about the sporadic messages. I lose interest fast. I like to meet right away and see if I’m attracted. I see no need for prolonged texts or messages. You don’t get to know the real person until you sit down face to face. Also, SDs that don’t post pictures don’t get responses from me.

    • Niyaful says:

      I agree to loosing interest in messages, and wanting to meet soon. Though there is a difference between messaging a few times and arranging a meeting to see if it will work out and messaging no times and saying you want to meet. Not accusing you of any of the former, just stating.

  42. Anonymous says:

    You talk about grammar but you have multiple errors in this article. Interest “wains”? No, it wanes.

    Nobody is “attune”. They are “attuned”.

  43. SlavGirl says:

    Be yourself(!), say something about yourself and say why you’re interested in my profile. That’s the perfect way to start a conversation :))

    • Anonymous says:

      We as SDs pay your allowance and you’re telling us how to write to you? Get out of the here. “Hey how are you” is good enough

  44. sb101 says:

    What do you do when a SD stands you up??

    • zito says:

      go on to the next, and vet better

    • Bruce Wayne says:

      block him and move on. Try to confirm an hour before meeting. Still happens sometimes with all the best screening. Some people here are just lonely and looking for attention, and don’t have any plans on ever meeting face-to-face.

  45. FormerAnon says:

    here is a great one for anyone that is free “tomorrow”


    I’m just looking for a good time tomorrow if anyone likes strip clubs cause that’s where I like to hang out at so if anyone is willing to chill with me at the stop club tomorrow then we have an arrangement


    two kids, occupation “undisclosed” (I bet Ray Charles could figure it out though) and expectations are “high” (though yours should be very low)

  46. Susie says:

    i can’t even find a daddy…. they’re always wanting to get married, have a baby or a relationship. sigh.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      I miss home.. where everyone is a model but actually work as a hostess/server on Ocean Drive or Lincoln Road. And the only Photo shoots they’ve been a part of are the ones they pay for themselves.

    • Bruce Wayne says:

      I am guessing you are only dating single SDs then. There are obvious downsides to a married SD, but very very few will want to get married (again), have a baby or a real relationship.

    • Anonymous says:

      They want you for free -not substantial

    • flyR says:

      You are wondering why you are not getting responses . You did not address the issue of what you are looking for.

      If a potential SB talks about herself but not what she is looking for she appears to be sharing the hooker’s selection process in just wanting to survive the encounter. That’s the one of the primary differences – the SB is looking for something more than just cash and survival – she’s wanting to enrichen her life beyond the material,

  47. alexisjj says:

    Hi 🙂 How is everyone doing? I am well…more or less lol
    I’m here looking for advice, and to hopefully find any SD that are compatible with me. Myself, I am not picky nor do I discriminate 🙂 I am simple an down to earth. I am seeking an allowance of $1000. monthly. All other needs such as dinners or lingerie etc., SD is responsible for.
    I am also seeking an a SD that is genuine. An is not into playing games…meaning sex, or sexual ‘favors’, in order to start our mutual agreement. I do believe we should meet, and communicate, and be honest about our needs. I just stated all of mine lol….except what I enjoy in the bedroom. But that’s for one on one.
    So I would luv some feedback, or even comments on my profile, and any real Daddies, drop me a line, ….I don’t bite…unless you want me too lol 🙂

    Hugs xxo
    J 🙂

  48. HollywoodStyle says:

    I HIGHLY recommend that all men rub one out before you message anyone for the day. It’ll clear your head. 🙂

    Side note: If I had a dollar for every man who sent a message detailing his sexual preferences (including his disdain for condoms), I’d never need to work, again!

    • zito says:

      you should market that skill, report back with your earnings

    • Kore13 says:

      Or just put on your profile that you want a tasteful approach to the topic or try to look at this as part of the ‘work.’.. You’re not really changing anything by complaining about it here. Maybe you need to finger yourself before you let your emotions stop you from seeing clearly.

  49. giaG says:

    I’ve been a SB before with some success just signed up again with a new spin on things. Wondering why certain men, who despite me stating in my profile I’m more dominant (not submissive) they proceed to read the riot act then block me. I’m not sure how saying things like obey men or die, or calling me a dyke and to suck there weiner, is going to score them any points.

    • elaine says:


      Emphasize on your dominant side, there is plenty of men here interested on that.
      Let them find you easily by using the right search words.

      • giaG says:

        @ Elaine

        Thanks for the tip:) I do allude to it already, enough that I have a pot SD who wants me to be the dominant one (we’ve already met for dinner and we’ll have our first get together in two weeks) but yes I can probably up the ante a bit. As it is I’m an older SB, well versed in D/s, so I should probably up the search word quotient.

  50. Anonymous says:

    I can’t see what I’m doing incorrectly here. I was getting several replies, even went on about 5 meets within one month. When I first signed on I was listed under Negotiable then later after reading between the lines I figured out what the meaning was. Now I have revised my expectation to Practical which in my mind a agreed allowance can be up to the said amount. Now I don’t receive any email what so ever just a bunch of views. I’m not sure what most saw at Negotiable than Practical. I really never went to view any profiles unless someone has looked at mine first just in case I wasn’t their type, guess I’m little shy or don’t want to be rejected.
    Also I never talked about money I just let the conversation takes its course.

    • SBaby says:

      It’s not what you think..
      Make sure you are updating your pics darling..
      Men get bored easily.
      One of my SDs msged me for 2 weeks before asking me out. He saw me through a series of 3 pic updates. And make sure you take pics of your full body- front and back.
      Your price doesn’t matter- they will negotiate it down by about 20% anyways. I’m at 5-10k list price. I generally get 4k plus spoiling.
      Let them see your shape, then you get $$$.
      Good luck, love!

      • Kore13 says:

        I think that’s an SD, SBaby.

        Anonymous, make sure to fill out your profile with hints to your personality and questions for the SBs to answer. I feel intimidated about writing many men here because I often don’t know what to say in the first message to these men that won’t make me sound like the handbag hungry girls out here (from the sounds of it).
        It’ll encourage them in writing to you. At least, it was like that for me with one SD profile I came across – he seemed to be very successful, but that didn’t scare me away when I saw the questions he’d wanted answers to.

      • Kore13 says:

        Woops, my mistake. Well, maybe some SD needing advice will appreciate it. Or maybe it could apply for a SB.

        As for actually meeting an SD – I haven’t met a single one yet and my expectation was always set as negotiable. Oh, Germany…

  51. Anonymous says:

    I think it’s REALLY idiotic for SD or SB to say $$$ for some sex act… especially in writing. Geez!!! It’s illegal in most places and in violation of TOS… not to mention just bad manners. A very good arrangements short or long-term can be setup in discussing relationship expectations. “Looking for a friend and a lover”… “Proposed arrangement is…starting at… possibly…” Suggest a meeting beginning at (place) for drinks and hello, and go from there. It’s like COME ON! Have some tact and don’t be stupid!

  52. SD On Chat says:

    I just took a look at several other dating sites. Most of the 20-32 year old young women do not come up as matches for 40-something me… even though I look younger, live younger and have an amazing lifestyle. Guess they set there age preferences to cut off at about 35 or so.

    Is there a non-sugar dating site that’s more open to younger women who are into older guys?
    Seems there should be. How many times have we read, “I’m not attracted to guys my age…”?
    Or maybe they would never post on a “sugar site” but would welcome a boyfriend with a lifestyle.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      I’ve always found older men attractive but here’s the thing… When I was 18-22 I dated men 10 -15 years older than me the oldest being 38 when I was 22 and that was a stretch. At that age I would not have dated anyone over 40. So 35 was my cut off point on dating websites.

      Now that I’m in my late 20’s What I found mature and thought of as an older man no longer appeals to me. I don’t date guys in their 30’s any more I find myself more attracted to the 40-55 age group.

      And another thing to keep in mind is that on a traditional website the majority of women are looking for a life mate. Someone to settle down with get married and have kids.And in their minds most of them see that person being in the same age range as they are. The young prince charming not the older gentleman…

    • Lovely hazel00 says:

      Age is just a number I always say its great fun well enjoy together

    • AnonGirl says:

      Dude…come on. Lol Usually the appeal of an older man is they can provide assistance. If you want a younger woman,get on board. Get a woman your own age otherwise.

  53. PetiteSB says:

    omg. sudden back lush at me. thanks for all the sarcasm. It’s not what he said but how he said which I can’t fully tell here. I know my description was vague and misleading but you guys don’t have to be so mean.

  54. Jaybird923 says:

    @PetiteSB Oh my God! How dare he..a pencil skirt? He might as well told you to show up naked. He has no right to admire any part of your body nor does he have a right to ask you to wear something that showed off a figure he appreciates. You just tell him to go fuck himself and that you’re the only how gets to enjoy your “round bottom” A pencil skirt? SMH it’s indecent.. him wanting you to wear something that stops below the knee. Every one would see your calves and think you’re a whore. You’re definitely not overreacting

    • zito says:

      good one jay

    • Anonymous says:

      Complimenting women on their bodily features is a tricky undertaking. Do it carelessly and the hard to get idiocy (aka teasing in women’s lingo) goes way up.

      Compliments must leave a healthy dose of doubt in their minds for them to keep trying to charm you with their ever-president self-doubt about their youth and beauty.

  55. Anonymous says:

    You guys gaslight here daily. What’s new?

  56. Anonymous says:

    @PetiteSB wanted drama and to be the center of attention by feigning “standards”…and very predictably bloggers here gave it to her.

    Well done! 🙁

  57. FriendlySpirit says:

    Great post! Well worth reading and practicing, by all members.

    To the blog post author : I would gently and respectfully suggest you follow your own proofreading advice, please, if only to set a good example..

    >There is no single way to fix the faux paux of improper use.

    The expression is “faux pas” (French for “do not do”).

  58. PetiteSB says:

    Looks like my ambiguous description was misleading 🙁 I was bit worried if he would be reading here, so he could tell. No, he didn’t ask for nude pics. Just he likes my round bottom. We were talking about gallery hopping. He told me to wear a pencil skirt to show off my figure. But the way he said sounded out of his character (maybe this is his real character?) and made a few sarcastic comments when I expressed surprise.

  59. PetiteSB says:

    Very mixed feeling. This pot and I have been messaging each other almost everyday over a month after a first meeting. He has been nice and sweet but all the sudden this one comment came off so blatant. I thought he was drunk or something but he wasn’t. He continued to sounded more assertive and sarcastic, I don’t know what happened. We are supposed to be meeting this weekend but feel not so comfortable now 🙁

    • zito says:

      so, ask him point blank…what did you mean by this comment?

      • PetiteSB says:

        The comment he made was actually demanding to show my good asset, he’d not care anything else or be happy as long as he can it – so blunt way.

      • PetiteSB says:

        he can see it*

      • Kore13 says:

        If you can’t handle it, avoid further contact.

        Questions to ask yourself:
        1. Do I want to risk the possiblity of my nudes floating around the internet for all eternity?
        2. Are the negative impacts of continuing relations with him worth it?
        3. Have I finished watching Requiem for a Dream?

        I don’t understand how you are on a quasi – dating site if you feel insulted by him expressing sexual desire. Given, some men don’t don’t understand that they scare away women with tactless advances. Just be straight forward and tell him what you felt and if he doesn’t care, block him and find someone else.

    • FormerAnon says:

      My advice is to post a photo of it here so we can all decide if he needs to see it or not. Seriously if he has been messaging you for a month and has yet to make an arrangement and is now demanding a nude photo move on to the next candidate. Do people really need to be told these things?

      Or hell just for fun send him a cropped nude of the tens of millions of nudes on the internet and see what he says. On the .00000000000001% chance he is real do you really think he will remember what it looked like in the photo compared to the real deal or that he will be thinking about the photo if he sees the real deal?

      • zito says:

        so that is what we are talking about? he demanded to see a nude pic of you?. You have been texting for a month and havent been on a date yet?….if this is all true, he is a phony and has no life, and is just looking for a nude pic of you, move one, so sad some peoples lives are

      • Kore13 says:

        She mentioned that she’d already met him, but that his behaviour changed, seemingly out of the blue.

    • PetiteSB says:

      I wrote we went for a first meeting, about to have a second. No nude pics but telling me to dress to show off my good feature which apparently he really likes. We are planning a date, after I suggested where to go, what to do, etc. he said pretty much all he cares is to be able to see my feature.

      • zito says:

        so, you have like humongous boobs or something?….so he is just your typical pig man, bottom line is …..do only what you are comfortable with, nothing more, do not aqueous to anyones demands when they make you uncomfortable

      • PetiteSB says:

        He has been nice and sweet and we talked about common interests and passions for arts both in person and over texts. He was pretty assertive and sarcastic all the sudden 🙁

  60. GeorgiaPeachPie says:

    Seeking some advice. I have received a few messages from men and they all are very upfront about wanting sex for money. I admit that may be the end result I guess but is this normal or am I being naive? Please advise. Thanks

    • Anonymous says:

      Block and delete. They want a cheaper alternative to an escort. Next them. This site has become overrun with these types now. Unless you r comfortable with that then u will have to put some effort into finding good guys.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      When you say sex for money, are you referring to men who expect intimacy to be a part of their arrangement or men who are messaging you to find out how much for a night?

      If it’s the former than that’s the norm. Most men aren’t looking for platonic. If it’s the latter than I hear that’s the norm. Some men are looking for an alternative to an escort. Either way there is a high probability that whoever contacts you is going to want sex for money.

      • Bartolo says:

        Jaybird has provided the much more thoughtful and accurate approach. At the heart of these relationships, for virtually all men here, is sex for money. Given that prostitution is illegal, it gets dressed up and talked about much more elegantly. But I agree that if the first message is, “I’ll pay you $400 for sex; meet me at a hotel later today,” this may not be a good candidate for you. Or maybe it is; it’s all up to YOU.

      • zito says:

        I have said this before…Life is built on fair exchange. I give you, you give me…fair exchange. We have this hangup about money and sex. Even your place of employment is a fair exchange. Now there are more diplomatic ways of going about a fair exchange than I will give you $400 to meet me at a hotel. Most people just want to know that they are being heard, and that they matter. A modicum of diplomacy in making an arrangement will go a long way in having a successful one.

      • Anonymous says:

        Oh come on. Any SD worth the time will not bring up sex at the first date or two. .esp. in the first few emails. That is no gentleman. and no SD. The sex comes without saying and asking for it before meeting. And u do not actually have to say it in the first meeting or two. so esp. not in the first emails before meeting!

      • Riviera says:

        Prostitution is not illegal everywhere, it’s not illegal in the UK.
        I am not looking for an escort. I wouldn’t want to be the tenth client that day, but a one to one intimate arrangement – a courtesan or mistress from previous era’s.

    • FormerAnon says:

      1. you are always going to get creeps no matter what you write

      2. Your profile has a little bit of ambiguity. You out the not a prostitute part and the no women or group sex part, but that leaves the question of whether or not you are open to physical aspects of an arrangement (sex). So without knowing what the messages you are getting say and based on your wording in the above question perhaps you are a bit naive to not understand most on here (and most males in general) are looking for sex. Some might seem forward to you, but they are looking for clarity in what you are OK with and SURELY some are just looking for cheap quick sex for money you are going to have to weed through that.

      3. Your profile makes it seem you are interested in something more along the lines of a relationship with some support along longer term possibilities. This will limit the pool of SDs you have available to you and will require you to weed through a lot more contacts. I would also imagine for some strange reason it will probably INCREASE the number of freaks and geeks that contact you.

      4. If you are not looking for sex at all I would never tell you well you need to change your attitude on that, but I will say it will be hard to find a SD.

      5. My advice is if you are not looking for sex make it clear otherwise you are just making it harder on yourself. I would ditch the no women and no 3 somes line and instead state you are interested in a male. From there screen according to if you are OK with sex or not OK with it and really if you are not OK with it put that and save yourself time and effort by making it more clear. If you are OK with it, but prefer it to take place more similar to a real relationship (three date rule ect) well you are just going to have to screen for that and that would probably start with those that offer money for sex right off and go from there.

    • Bill says:

      Some other commenters have some good advice. Here is my take.

      I think you are on the right site, and I think you have the the right idea of mutual affection having to come first. You can have a wonderful, emotionally rewarding relationship with your attitude. If I were available and we lived closer, I would put you near the top of my want to get to know list.

      The thing to keep in mind is that if you are slow to warm up to intimacy, then expect the allowance to be slow in coming too. You set the pace.

      As far as the pay for play crowd that you are seeing, there is a segment of that, and there is a segment of SBs that fit to it. Filter them out, there are respectable men here looking for women just like you. Just remember there are about 8 of you for every one of them, so be patient.

    • Bill says:

      One more thing… your “Take a chance send me a message” is an invitation to do just that, you’ll get a lot of riff raff that way. It is not wrong, just that many will read that line alone and stop reading and you’ll have to take out the trash frequently.

    • GeorgiaPeachPie says:

      Thanks for the feedback. While I do expect sex to be part of the relationship with a SD I like, I think I need to better define the relationship I am seeking. The messages I received were straight to the sex for money with no other dialogue. It’s all a learning process:)

  61. Anonymous says:

    @cryptic anomaly

    “So the problem is I am over it, 100% bored to death with hearing “Gimme Gimme” 100% bored with hearing women talk about their worth, just over the whole thing. Over the Female entitlement and games many women like to play.”

    The “beauty” of SA is that women drop their veil in minutes compared to days, weeks, months or even years in other circumstances. And THAT is PRICELESS!!!

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate how truly bad so many women are at this. Been an interesting psychological insight anyway.

      And yes, truly priceless.

  62. Skies. says:

    I didn’t get an allowance from the former SD because I didn’t need financial assistance and was very attracted to him. At first, not getting an allowance felt like leaving money on the table. But then I realized the experience itself was rewarding enough that I could actually get most out of it without the awkwardness of being employed.
    But since he lost interest in me, it was kind of said that I have to find another one now.
    Not trying to judge whether being paid and having feelings should be mutually exclusive here lol

    • Skies. says:

      Sorry for whining here lol
      Just hope I can get over it soon. Very difficult to find someone of such a high quality…

    • Anonymous says:

      Your post points up the wide variety of relationships that are possible. I refuse to let anyone tell me what a relationship formed between 2 people on this site HAS to be. It is whatever they make of it. I don’t HAVE to donate monthly. I too had a rather long-term relationship, started here, that never involved the exchange of money.

    • Anonymous says:

      If I were to assume, in hind sight you are missing the allowance?

      • Skies. says:

        Nope. I joined this site simply because I wanted some romantic experience with an older successful man. I just thought I’d get more respect and maybe a formal closure when it ended since I demanded nothing from him. But I guess I’m just being naive here lol

      • Kandy says:

        That’s why you totally dropped the ball by thinking he’d respect you more by not accepting an allowance. You just got played.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      @Skies – Do you perhaps think that joining a site where women a/ Women want money from men and b/ Where the dynamic is more Arrangement than Relationship is a good place to look for a boyfriend?

      You sound really nice but I think you may have the wrong site for what you are looking for.

      • Skies. says:

        Thanks for the advice.
        I’m very attracted to older men but don’t want them as boyfriends though. To me, the experience is like a getaway from reality. I’m still in college so just want to have some interesting experience before getting serious about relationship and real life. 🙂

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        That is fair enough. Would love to see your profile.

      • Skies. says:

        Sure would love to have some profile advice. My gmail is skies3970. Don’t feel like posting it here 🙂

        My friend just made me feel better – “Think of him as the one being taken advantage of. He offered companionship without receiving any allowance”. Haha okay guess I’ll stop victimizing myself and only think about the positives now…

  63. Anonymous says:

    Brand new…hot off the press…

    What’s the best thing about a human pussy?

    It comes with a self-cleaning apparatus with it. 😉

    • Anonymous says:

      You have to include a pretty extensive disclaimer on the maintenance and side effects of the self-cleaning apparatus. If one reads it carefully, he might want to opt for doing all the cleaning himself instead…

  64. Anonymous says:


    The pocket pussy is awesome, especially with condom on…PRICELESS! 😉

    So until you find your dream SB or get your hands on the promised robot…pocket pussy it is.

    Even with a robot, the cleanup and all would be too much or an effort unless you used a condom…back to square one…err pocket pussy. LOL!

  65. IHF2030 says:

    My friend has had a sugarbaby for a few months now and they had a huge fight the other day. The conflict arose when my friend refused to take his sugarbaby to a family function. He explained to her that family functions were for real girlfriends and not sugarbabies and he didn’t want to lie or try to explain the unconventional nature of their relationship to various family members. I completely agree with his reasoning, but where we men can be cold, rational and compartmentalize I think that women are often unwilling or maybe unable to do so. If sugarbabies are receiving an allowance then they have no right to expect to be treated like real girlfriends.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes and no.

      I depends on how the relationship is like. It seems that the SD led her on and then tried to put her in place. NOT GOOD!!!

      Men do just about anything to get pussy…but then they don’t know how to handle the pussy hits them back with whatever it wants to create the drama about…

      • IHF2030 says:

        If a sugarbaby wants to get promoted to real girlfriend status then she needs to give up the allowance straight away.

      • FormerAnon says:

        Yes and no.

        I depends on how the relationship is like. It seems that the SD led her on and then tried to put her in place. NOT GOOD!!!

        Men do just about anything to get pussy…but then they don’t know how to handle the pussy hits them back with whatever it wants to create the drama about…


        The above is an asinine response. They have been in an arrangement for a couple of months and many people would not take a real GF to a family function if they have only been dating for a couple of months. We know a little bit about “how (what) the relationship is like”. It is an arrangement with her getting an allowance and thus she should not be expecting it to transition into something more without bringing that up for a through discussion about that transition. She is clearly the one that is leading someone on or more so she id deluding herself to think that her arrangement will become a relationship.

        If you are in an arrangement and getting an allowance there is no “putting you in your place” when it comes to family functions or ANY aspect of the SDs life that he wishes to not share with the SB.

        And most men do know how to handle it when “the pussy hits them back with whatever drama it wants to create the drama about”. They stop contacting her, stop her allowance, block her phone number and come back to the site to start over.

        If he wanted drama from “a pussy” well he would probably not be paying for that now would he because that defeats the entire purpose of “paying for it” which is to not have to put up with drama from it.

      • FormerAnon says:

        opps “thorough discussion”

    • Jaybird923 says:

      He should’ve ended things right then and there. She’s lost perspective and some how convinced herself it’s more than it is.(probably with the help of a sister circle) She’s a liability. I foresee a lot of drama and unnecessary trouble in your friends future.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Sounds to me like the SB has blurred the line between SB and Girlfriend. She probably has also developed feelings or thinks the SD cares for her and that she can have the best of being a girlfriend as well as the money from being the SB.

      I agree she should realize that part of the arrangement is that she is not a girlfriend and that it is only a professional relationship not a romantic one.

      He is best off just getting rid of her and looking for someone new.

    • Anonymous says:

      If an SB fights then she must be nexted.

    • FormerAnon says:

      $1,000 dollars says her profile contains “drama free”, NSA and “I know my place”

    • AnonGirl says:

      That’s definitely not all of us. I WISH more were like your friend. Instead they wanna get too personal.

  66. Anonymous says:


    “Would you sit on a park bench holding someone you didn’t like?”

    As part of “job” for certain period of time, yes…

    • Jaybird923 says:

      You had a job that involved you holding people you didn’t like on park benches?

    • Anonymous says:

      Being an SB is kinda like a “job”, genius!

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Sometimes it’s too easy to just say something is stupid.. so I ask an even dumber question to illustrate how stupid the original post was. Since the question was “Would you sit on a park bench holding someone you didn’t like?” Your answer was useless and asinine “genius”

  67. Another Anonymous says:

    @ lovely and cryptic

    Well cryptic, I am still with you. I make my living in what I do. Can I make some money selling my diving pictures and skipping a sailboat? Sure. But is it right?

    • Jaybird923 says:

      Maybe I’m missing something.. why wouldn’t it be right to sell your diving pictures?

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      I think the key difference is even if you did sell your diving pictures they are just property and sure you might be attached to them but they remain only property.

      What I have been trying to explain is this concept of “I care for my SD, but I still want the money” is about playing with feelings, being emotionally manipulative and deceptive.

      Of course if the SD is well aware of this and wants that buzz that is up to him, he is paying. But if he has no interest in this “connection” than the woman is playing an unneeded and unwanted game. And if she truly does care for him than she shouldn’t need or want the money anyway.

      I realize I am talking on a rather deep level here but that is the point, feelings have no place in Sugar Arrangements.

      • zito says:

        cryptic, I see what you are saying, I really do, I guess I am just not quite that6 cynical yet….give me time, maybe someday I will be

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Zito – Been a progression for me, I’ve never been great with games and people who try and tell me it’s raining when they are really pissing down my back.

        The constant Female Entitlement has put me right off as well. Just bored with it all I guess. In many ways a very good feeling.

      • zito says:

        Oh I hear you brother…I am just not there yet, I still love women and think they can be amazing creatures

      • Anonymous says:


        Pocket pussy time?

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Anon- Had to google that!

        Waiting for those robots they keep promising us!

      • Pinecrest says:

        I agree! There is a delicate balance that needs to be achieved in a sugaring relationship. Honesty is so important!

  68. Cryptic anomaly says:

    @DChan – I’ve noticed the same thing and many of these women don’t last long on here. SA markets itself to women as money for nothing so all these Women sign up expecting lonely and desperate yet still rich and successful men to throw money at them just because they are female.

    They quickly learn that most men want a lot more than a dinner companion and aren’t interested in endless shopping trips.

  69. FormerAnon says:

    I just saw a profile I recall from the past that is now “updated” after reading the blogs on here for “help”. I specifically recall this profile stating no intimacy in the past and now even though she claims she learned “be honest and more specific” from the blogs and that she now “gets it” that part of her profile has been removed.

    She is extremely crunchy granola along with all the food choices that go with that. She states she went to a private school, but it was too expensive for her family. She then list off all the major east and west coast cities as places she travels to. She very wisely spontaneously moved to a new city that has a large public university that is extremely difficult to transfer into along with a couple of private schools as higher education options yet she wants to get back into school and eventually obtain a PhD.

    She wants to travel of course, substantial allowance of course and now she states she has further “clarified” her profile.

    So much dichotomy, so many more questions since her first profile. I now wonder if she is not a professional trying to disguise it where as before I thought she was just one of those highly sought after “pay me lots of money to eat dinner with you” types. Especially now that her profile mentions she is new to the “sugar bowl”. Sugar Bowl, salty, splenda and other words always lead me back to “professional” and or major gold digger along with the openness to go to “big events and fund raisers and functions”.

    I see her spending a lot of time and effort to end up frustrated dealing with the real freak SDs and unfortunately there will probably be a few SDs that waste time with her as well, but hopefully not much if any money.

    Reading her profile compared to the last one and with the new information tells me I am reading the thoughts of one of those people that reads something straightforward and twist it into what they want to hear and believe. I have not seen any advice in here that would lead her to make the changes she made. I have seen a lot of advice in here that would make someone looking to scam for quick dollars or to obfuscate their true intentions change their profile the way she has though.

    • Cryptic anomaly says:

      That’s why I don’t give profile advice anymore. You just don’t know who you are talking to and how they will use the advice.

      As you point out this woman seems to be playing a game of deception.

      Was she also one of the women who asked for advice and then threw a temper tantrum when told the truth?

      • zito says:

        no advice, and no responding to comments from Anonymous people for me, if you cant own your comments, I can not be bothered responding

      • FormerAnon says:

        Actually I have not seen her profile in here asking for advice I saw it outside of here each time I looked at it. And it appears to me she never actually ask for advice she simply read the things discussed in here and the comments associated with those discussions and then twisted that in her mind to mean what she wanted it to mean and changed her profile.

        She basically picked up on the fact that no one was going to message her and offer a large sum of money to eat in front of her and watch her pick at her tofu and organic, fair trade, free range quinoa salad.

        She also seems to have picked up on the idea that most SDs are not really interested in feeding a shopping obsession for a SB that is headed to a long term “career” of being a SB.

        And she “clarified” that she likes to travel.

        Her profile is pretty easy to spot the red flags in if you know what you are reading even with the changes. Wants to get back in school yet still wants frequent travel. Looking to be your date to “high end functions”, SUBSTANTIAL allowance, “sugar bowl” talk, lots of flightiness and indecision.

    • Anonymous says:

      Many regulars have decided to refrain from helping until they have assessed the intentions ofthe help seekers.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        And many regulars have failed to do so and given advice anyways. Telling them what’s wrong with their profile is just as bad as telling them how to fix it.

    • Anonymous says:

      You must be referring to @ho. 😉

  70. Cryptic anomaly says:

    @lovely you leave me cold. You like him and yet still charge for his company. I no longer have time for women.

    • Cryptic anomaly says:

      Thanks again for proving my point about sb’s only caring about the cash though.

      • lovelynyours says:

        If that’s what you got from that, that’s your interpretation – the fact that you see it as “charging” tells me everything I need to know, and the fact that your reading comprehension skills are so lacking tells me any further discussion with you on the matter isn’t going to go anywhere. If you don’t have time for women, you probably shouldn’t be blog moderator for a dating site. Something to consider.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Again with the insults all because I see it differently to you. I understand all too well what you have written. And yes you are charging him, you get paid!

        I do agree though, no point in discussing this as you are in denial about what you are doing.

        Not sure what being Mod has to do with lacking interest in women. Cause and Effect Lovely, simple as that, I read the stuff some of you women write on here and I realize how right I really do have it.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Cryptic, your john mentality completely turns me off as well, so let’s just consider us even. No, your poor understanding of what a sugar arrangement is actually supposed to be, and your asinine views have everything to do with why you have no business being a moderator. I’m talking about your views against SBs who like having a connection, of course, but don’t think I’ve forgotten the racial, simple-minded generalizations you made and then deleted as moderator in the past because they were offensive or disagreeable to so many here.

        I don’t insult you because you disagree, I insult you because you’re insulting and because it’s the truth. Only someone lacking in comprehension on multiple levels could be appalled that an SB actually likes her new SD and also likes having an allowance – your view, like a few others you’ve provided here, allows such little room for nuance that the entire position comes out as absurd. You contribute to a negative blog environment, and that’s the heart of it. But I’m learning today that it’s far better to simply tune you out rather than go back and forth, so I’ll leave it all at that.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        More insults NotSoLovely.

        John mentality? What else would you expect? May I ask what would be the point in a connection for the SD? As I have stated previously as soon as the money stops the SB would leave. I don’t doubt at all that from the female perspective there would this feeling that she cares for her SD. From a male perspective though it is a complete game.

        The truth NotSoLovely is that it is all about the money, as I keep saying. And the fact that you will be around your SD for the money even though you also admit to liking him is cold as ice to me. I don’t think you can handle the truth in this concept.

        As I have stated before I find the idea that a woman professes to caring about the man all while she still takes his money to be insulting and hypocritical. It doesn’t make me think highly at all of these types of women and it is why I am no longer interested in Sugar or dating women in general. Their coldness is just staggering.

        Anyway NoSoLovely, have fun, no longer see the point in discussing anything with someone who is in such serious denial.

      • zito says:

        I must say, I think you cryptic, and you lovely make some very valid points, even if they are in direct opposition

      • Kore13 says:

        Cryptic, although what you’re saying might apply for some (maybe many), it doesn’t rule out the exception.

        If you want to assume that every SB is charging the SD, then you’d also have to assume that every SD is just using the SB.

      • Anonymous says:

        I remember the profile. Monkeyish jawline, a bucket of makeup with a cheap mop wig on. Eww NOTsoLovely indeed!

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Cryptic you don’t want a SB to care about/like you. So if you could have the perfect arrangement for you What would it be like?

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Drama free Jay, this involves a SB who doesn’t expect or want a relationship or long term. Who doesn’t tell me things to try and make me believe something that I never will. To me once they start talking about feelings the drama starts. To me the beauty of an arrangement should be that there isn’t any games.

        We just enjoy our time together and that is it.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        So you enjoy spending time with people you don’t like?

      • crypticanomaly says:

        This is where the Male and Female experience differ.

        As a man I don’t need to talk a lot if at all, I don’t need to do a much either. So when you speak about “Like” or “Care” it is different for me.

        I might be happy just sitting in a park with the SB holding her or doing whatever else. “Like” or “Care” in the way I understand those words don’t factor as important at all for me.

        I’m not wanting to date her, or marry her or anything else. It’s an escape from reality. I don’t care if she thinks that she cares about me, she can care all she wants to, I don’t want to hear about it as you already know, for me talk is cheap, if you say something than back it up with actions otherwise it’s unwanted drama for me.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        LOL I asked a very simple and straightforward question and you gave me a convoluted answer that failed address the question asked.

        There is no female or male.. the word like has a very simple definition: to find agreeable, enjoyable, or satisfactory.

        Do you enjoy spending time with people you don’t like?

        Would you sit on a park bench holding someone you didn’t like?

      • zito says:

        Ive sat in a park holding my ex, and I dont like her per se…lol

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I gave a very honest answer Jay. And yes if she was quiet and not causing me any drama I would spend time with her even if there were things I might not like about her.

        Again, Liking or Caring about someone is irrelevant, if she provides me the company I want then that is what matters.

      • zito says:

        cryptic…define…”company you want”

      • Jaybird923 says:

        You’re skirting the question again lol The question asked wasn’t whether you would spend time with a person IF there were things you might not like about them but whether you would spend time with a person you DIDN’T like.

        No one likes everything about another person and I didn’t say the other person was a SB. Maybe if I keep asking I’ll get a straight answer…

      • zito says:

        oh cmon…we no the answer is NO lol

      • Cryptic anomaly says:

        I’ve been giving straight answers!! I thought it was all related to Sugar. Would I spend time with someone I didn’t like?

        Yes and No.
        I spend Time at work with people I don’t like all the time, I do this for money.

        Would I do it without pay or incentive? No.
        Two part answer to illustrate my point.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Now we’re getting somewhere. You wouldn’t spend time with someone you didn’t like with out a financial incentive. It would have to be a high enough figure to make it worth it for you right? Or would it not matter as long as you got paid?

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @ Jay- Are we speaking a different language to each other? We are agreeing with each other again. I would need money to be around them if I didn’t like them. If I did like them I would not need money to socialize with them.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Zito – “Company I want”? Whatever it is I am wanting at the time. Sugar is about the SD, the SB gets paid to provide that.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        LOL there’s a point to all this and I’ll get to it. On several occasions you’ve expressed disdain for the SBs that are only about the money and will spend “time” with anyone as long as the price is right. Yet you’ve just admitted that you’ll do the same thing.

        On several occasions you’ve expressed disgust for the SBs that won’t spend time with just anyone and have to actually like their SDs.

        On several occasions you’ve expressed a dislike of the SBs that don’t want to get to know you and want to discuss allowance in the very beginning. But you just said emotions should play no part in a sugar arrangement.Why should she get to know you?

        How is an SB supposed to win with you? If she likes you… you have a problem?

        If she doesn’t like you and is only spending time with you for the money… you have a problem.

        If she doesn’t want to know anything about you but how much you’re going to give her… you have a problem.

        If she requires a high allowance to spend time with you since she doesn’t like you… you have a problem.

        Is it fair to assume that you are the problem…

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Jay- My viewpoint on Sugar has changed considerably. I used to be the SD who wanted a genuine connection as my first and only 2 SB’s were like that. Since chatting to many women on this site and blog though my views have changed. As I have mentioned many times Cause and Effect.

        So the problem is I am over it, 100% bored to death with hearing “Gimme Gimme” 100% bored with hearing women talk about their worth, just over the whole thing. Over the Female entitlement and games many women like to play.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        And now we’ve reached the conclusion :-)) the sugar bowl has always included these types. The ones that want a connection, the ones who could care less, the princesses,the escorts,etc.

        The only thing that’s changed is you but just because you’ve changed doesn’t mean everyone else has to change with you. You have a right to your feelings and views and @Lovely has a right to like her SD and have an allowance.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Jay- Lovely can choose what she likes, that is fine by me. When I hear things like “She has a right to an allowance” that is the type of stuff that pisses off most of the SD’s on here, that entitlement complex again.

        Like I mentioned, I was one of the men who wanted the romantic aspect of this, due to the way women behave on this site I no longer care. Just something to think about, women create the type of men they complain about.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Now you’re being intentionally obtuse. Where is the entitlement complex? Your whole argument was that if you like someone you shouldn’t have an allowance. She has a right to like the person she gets an allowance from. Just like you have the right to not give an allowance to someone you like.

        You created your own problems through a combination of having unrealistic expectations and having no clue what it is you actually want.

        Case in point I ask you what your perfect arrangement would be like and you can’t tell me anything specific just general BS about no drama. @zito ask what you company you want, and you give him the same general Bullshit. If you can’t articulate what you want how do you expect someone else to know?

        You keep mentioning that you use to want a connection but now you don’t. So because you don’t want one anymore everyone else shouldn’t? You remind me of a self righteous bible thumper who just discovered Jesus and now insist on going around condemning people for the exact same things he was doing the week before.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        What I would like Jay is complex. I’m a complex man and I won’t compromise my expectations anymore than you will compromise yours. I know my worth.

        And if you bothered to understand why I am saddened at the idea of someone being paid even though they care about the person paying them then you might have some insight.

      • zito says:

        @Jay, that is a fantastic analogy. He does sound like a bible thumper. Cryptic you certainly are entitled to your opinion and views, but like it has been said, so is everyone else. I think the two women here you have chosen this back and forth with are not the typical self entitled sugar baby we encounter. to each their own. can’t we all just get along?…lol

      • Jaybird923 says:

        That’s where you are wrong cryptic I do understand. If you’ve noticed haven’t tried to change your mind or tell you’re wrong. Do I agree with you ? No but I understand where you’re coming from and accept your right to feel as you do. I’m not trying to convince you that you’re wrong I just want you to extend every one else the same courtesy. You can disagree with some one and still respect their views or at the very least understand their perspective without being judgemental and attempting to shame them for it.

  71. Another Anonymous says:

    @ lovely

    Thank you, got it. Very nice explanation.

  72. D Chan says:

    I have started to notice a trend here in Australia where a lot of young SB state on their profile “no intimacy coz I’m not an escort” and still asking for $1000/wk allowance.
    Maybe I’m just old school, but the idea of having an SB relationship is to have that intimacy that we sometimes don’t get from our partner. Am I wrong here?
    I sometimes believe that these young ones think that because they are young and hot, older guys would just give them lots of money for nothing…

  73. Anonymous says:

    I’m sure the men will be falling all over this one:
    “I’m here for an arrangement with someone whose time I enjoy and they can help me put commas in my bank account. I would like an arrangement that benefits me financially in such a way that I can make improvements on my home I purchased last year. That’s the bottom line.”

    • THEATLSD says:

      I’m all over that one. I’ll do the work myself because I can fix and build just about anything.
      Everything fixed has a sex value.

  74. Another Anonymous says:

    @ lovely

    In a way I am with Cryptic in these discussions. You said that you truly liked your SD and looked forward to spend time with him. You also have a Wall street backround and mentioned financial analysis. So as a quant you can easily make 5k without too much effort and time wasted. Yet you negotiated for the allowance. Why?

    • lovelynyours says:

      I’d call myself more of an entrepreneur with experience in finance than a quant, and I didn’t negotiate for the allowance amount – I had selected moderate on my profile, so when he decided he wanted me as his SB, that’s the figure he suggested. But I understand what you’re getting at. The answer to this question seems a bit obvious, but perhaps it’s not as clear from the SD point of view.

      Let’s say you, as a (presumably) wealthy guy, received a lottery ticket for your birthday. It turns out you’ve won some cash. Not millions, but certainly enough to make a difference – maybe you could go on a trip or something each month with it, or invest it in a business as a silent partner, or what have you.

      Would you decline your winnings? I wouldn’t. I see sugar the same way, but for reasons that are perhaps more unique to me and my philosophy.

      I can receive 5K from sugar without too much effort, and with NO time wasted. Because I don’t see this as something that requires effort – being a great SB is really just about being a great person to someone, with the added bonus of looking sexy and being sexy and sensual. I’ve mentioned this before, but I really don’t see it as work and I certainly don’t see it as a major drain of my time – because I like being with my guy. I understand it isn’t always this way for SBs (though I pose that it should be and if it isn’t, they shouldn’t be SBs), but it’s no more strenuous to me than picking up a lotto ticket. And if a guy is willing to give me an allowance for simply being the thoughtful, accommodating, fun, inquisitive, supportive, beautiful, ambitious, intelligent, kinky, sarcastic, quirky woman that I am – then why would I decline it?

      As far as I’m concerned – thus far, anyway – I have indeed won the lottery. Not in terms of the amount of money, but I get an allowance for just being me, with a guy who I think is truly wonderful (so far). I couldn’t ask for anything better.

    • lovelynyours says:

      And this is a sidenote, since I left Wall Street a couple years ago in pursuit of other endeavors: junior i-bankers at the top bulge bracket firms go through hell in the 2 weeks – 1 month that it takes to make 5K (after taxes, excluding bonuses). So I wouldn’t say that one automatically makes 5K “without too much effort and time wasted” just because they work in finance. Not terribly material to your argument, but I think it’s still worth mentioning.

  75. Anonymous says:


    “I think many SBs feel “left high and dry” because they think an SD is a genie. He’s not.”

    Profound statement indeed.

  76. Josh says:


    “or as my father would say….you sit on your balls, and instead of getting up, you just cry how much it hurts”

    Could he sit on his balls? How old was he when he related that?

  77. FunDude says:

    In vacation and seeing all this shit talking lol

    Haven’t missed much. By the way, the weather in Mexico is BEAUTIFUL!!!!

  78. KeKe says:

    HELP! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese fortune coo……

  79. Jaybird923 says:

    Would finding out a POT SB Hasn’t had sex in a long time scare you off/make you nervous about being with her? If yes,why?

    • zito says:

      no, so I guess I wont explain…would only bother me if she was meeting up with me after a gangbang….wait…idk, maybe that wouldnt bother me either…lol

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Not at all. I would be more turned off if she was slutty/trashy either sexually or behaviour wise.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’d like to know why. There undoubtedly is a reason, and if she wants to tell me she hasn’t had sex in many years, I think that she should expect the follow-up question, “Why?” After that, it depends.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I didn’t want to say anything. I was asked a direct question and answered honestly. I just can’t lie when asked a direct question. I still haven’t figured out that quirk. I spent enough of my childhood getting in trouble because of it.

        And as for why…

        1)My goal in life isn’t to rack up as many sexual partners as I can.

        2)I rarely meet men who can keep my interest long enough to get to the sex phase. They either bore me senseless or insult my intelligence.

        3)Or they start with the typical bullshit games that people insist on playing with each other. I know the rules I just refuse to play. I mean what I say and say what I mean and expect the same from anyone I’m involved with or I move on.

        4)Most importantly, if I couldn’t live with you being the father of my child I won’t sleep with you plain in simple. Is that what I’m looking for? Hell no! But shit happens in spite of taking precautions. And the last thing I want is to end up stuck dealing with some one I don’t like, respect, etc. because I was horny. No thank you.

    • Anonymous says:

      As a SB wanna be… the question of not having sex for years would come up for me…. my ex’s d*ck was so big he forced it on me and caused a lot of pain and had no idea how to treat a woman. I have been on my own and finished my PhD and work and so 5 years have gone by with no action… No big deal.

    • Bartolo says:

      @Jaybird – those answers to the “why” question would not scare me off. You are picky, and that seems quite reasonable. Some adults are pickier than others; some (men AND women) will have sex with someone that’s just OK, because they are horny. Some are even less discriminating. Others are pickier. Your answers would not scare me off.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Maybe I shouldn’t have said “scare you off” it didn’t scare him off he did ask me out again. But he seemed nervous he kept mentioning it like he felt pressure to give a great performance. . which I thought was funny since I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him that I wouldn’t be sleeping with him. Spending time with him only reinforced by initial reaction to him. His reaction made me curious about how most men felt so I asked you guys

    • Anonymous says:

      Don’t know about doing an SB who hasn’t had it for six years, over the years I have had women in low to high 20s who claimed to be virgin. One in low 20s claimed to be “almost” virgin as she was forced into having sex one time by her ex-boyfriend. Religious reasons. I charmed her into, and trained her for, amazing sex for years.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I don’t require any training just an able bodied SD (that I’m attracted to) with enough stamina to keep up. Oh and a healthy imagination… very important. :-))

      • zito says:

        Jay are we still talking about the woman who hasnt had sex in 6 years?….after reading this i am lead to e woman is you, am I missing something?

      • zito says:

        the “e” is supposed to be believe…lol

      • zito says:

        anyway Jay…I think you reasoning is a sound one, it is just unusual is all, not bad, or weird…just not typical is all….I too have a extremely hard time lying when posed with a direct question. When I was 19 in the navy I was at dinner with my superior and his wife and she asked me why I didnt like rice, I looked right at her and said…reminds me of maggots…lol

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I never said it was another woman :-)) If you read any of the older blogs you’ll see I’ve mentioned it before. Since no one on the blog is interested in making me their SB, It didn’t make sense to phrase the question to include me. That’s why I made it a general SB.

      • zito says:

        It’s all good….I do not read everything in the blogs, so I may have missed it…bottom line is, no it wouldn’t scare me off, I don’t scare that easily anyway. scared people make poor decisions

  80. Anonymous says:

    I think an initial contract should be for a month. After that it can be renewed or canceled by an SD.
    While an SB should have a right to her “monthly” allowance (as a lump sum or per date), the SD should be able to move on after that if he is not satisfied for whatever reason. I am sure many SB will feel “left high and dry”, but for an SD to continue something he no longer finds valuable, is unfair.

    • Goddess says:

      I’m not understanding you. Initial contract? How long does it take to know whether or not you like someone enough to follow through on your part in the SD/SB dynamic? I think many SBs feel “left high and dry” because they think an SD is a genie. He’s not. Communication is paramount as far as wants and needs. And if I have an emergency I ask a close friend, not an SD. The SD/SB dynamic is light and fun. Not a solution to *insert terrible circumstance here*.

      • Anonymous says:

        I would know if this is worthwhile after a few dates (with the first one or two could be a bit off, due to nervousness, shyness or newness factors).
        I think the words “brutally honest” do apply to NSA. Yes, you can blame SDs who just want “to sample” and move on. Or you can blame SBs who want to keep the man they cannot keep and maybe could’ve/should’ve said “no” to.
        I think this is especially true of the “moderate” (and probably substantial – although I have no experience with these) crowd. The guy paying that much will be demanding and will have numerous options. To keep him around would be far, far from easy…

      • Amused_SD says:

        If I’ve been with the SB for a moderate period of time (say six months or longer), I’d want to help her with an emergency that she had. If I’d been with her for a month or two, it would seem like an emergency would be changing the terms of the arrangement.

        Also, it depends if an emergency happens 1-3 times a year or whether it happens 3-4 times a month.

  81. Another Anonymous says:

    @ lovely

    In one of your earlier posts, you said, that in the job market one skill’s are worth what someone is willing to pay. So where exactly is the difference for vast majority of SB/SD arrangements. A cynic would say, that they are a quasiemployment relationships. Essentially they mean, especially in the beginning, not more than: “Attention, companionship and intimacy on retainer with biweekly or monthly payments.”

    • lovelynyours says:

      I don’t care what a cynic would say. I don’t associate with, and certainly don’t get involved with, cynics on a personal level since I’ve no interest in becoming one or living a jaded life rife with poor, demeaning experiences. I can’t speak to the vast majority of SB/SD relationships and unlike some on the blogs, won’t attempt to comment in macro terms when I don’t actually know for sure if my thoughts are actually true or if I’m just extrapolating based on my own experiences or what I read anecdotally.

      As I alluded to (or hoped to allude to) in that post, there is a difference between putting worth on one’s employment skills and putting worth on one’s personality and who they are. Companionship, for example, solely involves personality & emotion – the essence of who a human is. I see that as starkly different from putting a salary price on financial modeling skills, for instance. That’s just me.

  82. Goddess says:

    Eep! I have done this but I’m happy this is a blog so I can explain. I forgot his location and I’m sure it came across as flakey and he was deeply attractive. And I do the dropping contact thing more often than I’d like. I run a business and I’m buying a home. It requires a lot of micromanaging I’m only now getting used to and unfortunately that doesn’t transcribe well over the internet. Sometimes priorities and cause hiccups in conversation, not “other guys”. Scout’s honor. 😉
    Hey everyone on the blog! Just popped in for the first time in a while and had to comment on this. This blog has great topics. (Sorry if I do not respond after this, still ever so busy and not with jetsetting across the Canary isles, boohoo).

    • Goddess says:

      Just thought it made sense to say sometimes the sugar babes drop the ball with the contact and forgetting the obvious. At least I know to be slightly more forgiving if it happens to me (though not persistently). I agree especially with the lying etc. The issue might be bugging the SD than it will us. Sugar babes typically are relatively open minded unless jaded/not really a sugar babe.

  83. Another Anonymous says:

    @ lovely

    So just to follow up on your example, would you expect to receive you weekly or biweekly allowance even when you cannot meet your SD due to your time limitations?

    • Lovelynyours says:

      …why would I not be able to meet my SD for a whole week or two? Unless I’m traveling on a previously scheduled vacation or business, that wouldn’t happen. But that’s just me. If I were out of town, I’d be sure we saw plenty of each other in advance of my departure, out of courtesy and because I want to, not out of obligation. And plenty more after I returned, because I’ll have missed hanging with him. That’s key to note. I’m not given a per date allowance because I’m not an escort. The nature of our arrangement allows for weeks where we might see each other three times (like last week), and an occasional week where it’s just once or not at all. But that’ll largely be because of his schedule, not mine.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Personally, I’ve very recently come to believe that the moment you place a frequency, you’re placing a per-date rate, just prorated. The arrangement I’m in now is new to me in the sense that we have no set frequency. We really enjoy one another’s company thus far, we know his schedule’s going to get hectic soon and there’ll be times when he cancels at the last minute or when he’s late given the nature of his work, and we know my schedule is flexible enough and that I’m naturally spontaneous enough where we are able to see each other whenever we can and when the mood strikes.

        Does this means he might get to see me 8 times one month, 2 another, and 4 another? Yes. But it’ll be because that’s what he wants/can do, based on his schedule and based on the strength of our connection. Either way, my allowance remains the same, unless he offers to increase it. Because I’m not some per-date escort. I’m okay with 8 times in a given month for example at a flat allowance even if the standard is maybe once a week, because if I have an SD it’s because I like him and enjoy the time we have together – I don’t see it as being taken advantage of if he’s being a great SD. That’s one of the differences between being an SB and an escort, IMO.

      • Elaine says:


        It is useless to explain, as most here just only want to acknowledge their own reality.

        Which is: counting the minutes of sexual activity, putting “prices” on that, talking about the “worth” of SBs and SDs, and complaining about SBs running with allowance without “putting out” or SDs trying to get “pussy” for free.

        They will never understand the other sugar reality, the one based upon confidence, honesty and integrity.

        Where SBs are genuinely attracted to their SD and looking forward to meeting him as often possible, and SDs genuinly want to help her reaching her goals and be financially comfortable.

        They probably don’t even want to understand, because it make them realize they will never experience this, and they will have to settle for purely tansactional sugar.

        And then come and complain about that here! 😉

      • lovelynyours says:

        I think everyone can understand the other reality, Elaine, even if they haven’t experienced it firsthand. I just think that people are naturally inclined to be more vocal about negative experiences and views about a subject than positive ones. People who are busy in a successful, long-lasting arrangement/relationship probably aren’t going to be here. Hence why you see so much negativity and negative, cynical philosophies on the blog.

        I do wish, however, that more people would comment on great SBs and SDs or great sugar experiences here. I don’t understand why it always has to be such a whine fest on both sides of the sugar bowl.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Most don’t comment on the good because when you do you get accused of lying or called a derogatory name.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Then screw them, Jay. I hate the idea that people might deliberately be suppressing positive posts because of what some randoms might have to say about it. Everybody believes a bad experience without blinking, but some won’t believe a good or great one? If more people encouraged posts that highlighted authentic, good experiences and good SBs/SDs, perhaps that’d help change the tone of the blog.

        The blog has gotten so predictable now in terms of content, and it’s all so overdone – we get it, there are dreadful SBs and dreadful SDs and people with poor mentalities to sugar. Some are so bad they’re funny, and some are so bad they’re not. The dead horse has been pulverized into dust at this point and nobody’s doing anyone any favors by whining incessantly or giving exclusive attention to poor SB/SD behavior. There’s a point where it’s no longer “education” and it’s just a bitch-fest.

        It’s like sitting alone, unbound and unrestrained on the floor of a dungeon for hours on end, texting your buddies to whine about how dreadful it is instead of getting up, going up the stairs, walking through the open door, and just getting out of there. If it’s so horrible, don’t be a part of it. If you’re here, there’s a reason – there are positive experiences you’ve all had, unless you’re just a masochist. So share them – talk about them. I’m willing to bet that could be just as interesting to peeps, if not more so.

        If you haven’t had any positive experiences, you really ought to consider rethinking why you’re here – on the site and/or on the blog. What’s your aim? Do you get something out of posting, or is it just out of habit at this point? I don’t want to tell anyone what to do – this is just food for thought.

        (when I say “you”, Jay, I don’t mean you specifically – I refer to the blog commenters collectively)

      • zito says:

        I honestly havent had a bad meeting with a pot, I have only had 1 or 2 that only went 1 date, most of the difficulty is getting to the first date imo, it is maddening at times, thankfully I have not had to go through this in months

      • zito says:

        “It’s like sitting alone, unbound and unrestrained on the floor of a dungeon for hours on end, texting your buddies to whine about how dreadful it is instead of getting up, going up the stairs, walking through the open door”…..or as my father would say….you sit on your balls, and instead of getting up, you just cry how much it hurts

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Lovely No need for the disclaimer :-))

      • Anonymous says:

        But what of the SD? I’m very busy with my profession, and there absolutely are periods where I cannot see someone for a week…or two. As I posted earlier, I think it leads to bad feelings if there is a monthly allowance and then business travel and other obligations get in the way. If someone thinks that my offer to donate per meeting makes them an “escort,” whereas them taking donations per month . . . so be it. Next.

      • lovelynyours says:

        To that, I pose this:

        Many SDs get into sugar because they’re too busy for relationships or have no time / energy for the trappings that come with romantic involvement under pretense or agendas. If you’re too busy for sugar, however, then you’re SOL unless you don’t mind seeing an escort masked as an SB for a per-meet transaction.

        Like I mentioned, there’s a middle ground between per meet and monthly – guys who are serious about playing the role of an SD will figure out that medium that works rather than nexting someone who’d rather not feel like a hooker (ESPECIALLY if that means he’ll be too busy to get in touch with her between meetings). Guys who aren’t will keep nexting until they come across an escort, a woman in dire straits financially, or an escort-in-training who doesn’t mind.

      • Elaine says:


        “I think it leads to bad feelings if there is a monthly allowance and then business travel and other obligations get in the way.”

        This is only an issue when you treat sugar as prostitution in disguise.
        When you put a pricetag on sex.
        Unfortunally that is the type of “sugar” emphasized here on blog.

        In a meaningful relationship as the ones some here try to have with their sugar partner, it will only mean that both parties will do everything to make up for that lost time at the soonest possible occasion.
        Not for the money or sex, but because they genuinely enjoy being together.

        @ Jay

        “Most don’t comment on the good because when you do you get accused of lying or called a derogatory name.”

        Tried it.
        Gave up.

  84. Anonymous says:

    I, Anonymous, solemnly swear that I stand by everything I write.

  85. DisappointedSD says:

    Nobody has talked about how you give a monthly allowance, and she takes it and disappears after the first or second week. I have had that happen 3 times. I will only do a monthly after several successful per date dates. Then I’ll do a 2 week, then a month. I had another bail on me after 4 successful months, then left halfway through the 5th month. She’s been telling me for a year she’ll make it up to me. She hasn’t. Btw, haven’t laid eyes on her since.

    • Anonymous says:

      I simply refuse to do a monthly arrangement. I make it clear – and it’s true – that my schedule varies too much. I don’t want to get into the ‘I only saw you once this month’ discussion. If a POT requires a monthly arrangement, we’re just not compatible.

    • Anonymous says:

      Women bailing after getting monthly allowance is a fairly common phenomenon.

      • Anonymous says:

        Men bail too. I always delivered on my end and even saw him extra bc I trusted him. The third month he said he did not have my allowance and ‘sorry’. This is after we had seen each other all month. He would send it at the middle or end of the month. He claimed to have forgotten a couple times before that. You don’t forget the allowance and he sure never forgot to call and meet me out. He was lying. In his case I would have preferred a weekly or paying each meet arrangement. Scammers ruin it for us all that have good intentions.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Do we actually know that this is common, on either side? Or are the ones who get duped simply more likely to be vocal about their experiences in online forums or elsewhere than those who have had successful relationships/arrangements?

        My current SD initially suggested a per date situation, which I wasn’t comfortable with – per date is escorting, as far as I’m concerned, and I feel genuinely uncomfortable with the idea of getting an envelope everytime I see someone, as he suggested. He agreed that might feel odd for him as well, and we compromised with a biweekly allowance instead. I think it’s the perfect equilibrium for both parties that still holds to the true nature of a sugar arrangement since it doesn’t feel like escort territory – an SB doesn’t have to worry about putting a month’s of attention, energy, and time into someone only to find he’s a salt daddy, and an SD doesn’t have to worry about giving an SB a month’s worth of allowance and never hearing from her again… at worst, any party loses out on only a week of energy/resources lost.

    • FormerAnon says:

      The 4 month example is just terrible. I am sure she will be in contact shortly when she forgets to change the oil in her car, tuition is due, after her new “man’ empties her bank account or some other “emergency” arises. I am surprised she even replies to your contact, but then again she surely knows some dramatic situation for her is imminent. And I am sure there are many examples where SBs have been left high and dry, but I would imagine it is about equal from both sides the SD is probably less likely to admit it simply because if it happens after a few months like above it can be more easily brushed off with an overall “average” of the months. I would also imagine a small % of SBs that bring up the issue are not actually being short changed, but instead are just left with little or no notice after they have “mentally” (or actually) already spent the money in anticipation of the first of the month allowance. To be clear I am sure there are PLENTY of SBs that have been short changed and those “males” should be ashamed as should any SB that does the same.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Until trust and a commitment has been developed I only pay on a weekly basis, anything could happen, she changes her mind, I change my mind, she might be a fake etc. Paying weekly at the start just makes it a lot less stressful and allows both parties to take it slow as well as avoiding the obvious risks.

  86. Liontamer630 says:

    “Attuned” to grammatical errors, not “attune”. I’m such a dick I know.

  87. Anonymous says:

    I know someone who is doing just that in the province. I am not sure if he’s on the same city.

  88. Anonymous says:

    @ Anon below about the shoes

    I hear what your spitting and if the women are so lazy of “I want these shoes and I’m lazy” then why is it we are the ones who birth your children? Do we call you lazy because you have the inability to carry a child in your womb for 9 months and endure pains of death? No, because that is how nature intended it. Lucky you.

    Did we sit back during the war while all of the men went to war and we provided for the children and elderly you left us with to save our country? No, we rolled our sleeves up and said “we can do it” and we worked in mills and factories to keep the economy rolling while we our men were at war and we still slaved into the dark hours proving we were just as capable of being a help mate to a thirst for love and mankind.

    Self explanatory, we were made different than you. Yet, through out the span of time, we have been proving our worthiness to you that we are the same value as you are. We desire that you WANT to buy us those shoes because we desire to see your affection for us materialize in physical form. And with the proper pairing and assistance in life, anything is possible.

    No different than if you want your house cleaned, you hire a maid. If you want the lawn cut, you hire a Gardner. When you need assistance in certain fundamentals of life, you better call a woman because over 70% of industries are now minorities, including women. So, you can continue your little game that we are lazy if you like. But when your woman that you bought those shoes for has you up until the break of dawn and the images of the experience have you salivating and erect and fully operational I. All the other areas of your life because it’s the thought that counts. She realized you didn’t take twice in thought to show she counted, so she gave you the same. But If you are one of these men who constantly throws what you have done for her in her face on an ongoing basis, then I don’t doubt that you perceive her as lazy because you have crippled every sexual desire within her authentic power besides the “nod and smile version and lay there.”

    • Anonymous says:


      My dear…It is not really my fault you slept thru your high school biology. If you were awake back then, you might’ve still remember that – with possible exception for the immaculate conception – us, mere mortal men, are required to make a baby.
      And I totally give it to you, if a man wants for you to bear his child, well, go ahead, rip him off, he deserves it. But see, many a man, they just do not want that, your child…although they might want for you to practice with them, the process…
      And please darling, the royal “WE”…You slaved at those factories, sweetie, did you? And you have a photo on your iPhone 6 to prove it?
      Finally, I never said I mind the exchange of shoes for a bit of a cat play. On the contrary, I embrace it, or I would not be here. What I do mind, is the pretense and the notion that men are exchanging some measly shoes for a paradise that they do not deserve, but OK, have it and give me my shoes.

      • Anonymous says:

        @ Anon above

        On the contrary, I never once said that all women were paradise. And correction, “we” did not include “me”, as you are well aware, I was not even born then. I was merely making observation to fact.

        From your words, I could not decipher that you willingly wanted to purchase a pair of shoes for any woman based on want. Other than the fact you saw that particular woman or women in general as a lazy attribute for not having the means to purchase them without you.

        Since the founder of the the site knew he could himself find a mate here either in sexual tone or for long term procreation, I am assuming he created knowing the men knew women were here that did not equal the man’s financial equivalency.

        My comment to women bearing children did was not intended to imply that women are coming her to have sexy with you or anyone else for the thought of offspring purposes. Since there is not question that both sides are undoubtedly needed to bring forth life, then the fact that you counter it is mute and it was not without consideration in my own mind. Now, we each have our own reasoning for being present. I do not fault any and all participants in the bowl. What I do find cringeful are the ones who willingly take advantage of others. Everyone starts somewhere. What is more apparent than anything is telling of who people have access to. Perhaps you are indeed correct. Having access to a man of means and reaping. Paupers reward will only last for so long. Once you lose access, you will only blame yourself.

      • Anonymous says:

        And for the record @ Anon

        I was a very late bloomer that still hS not been ridden like a carousel or a rodeo. I had no clue what sex was until far after I surpassed my 18th birthday. I have had few partners, though many would love the claim to fame. I have went along in pretend mode knowing their reputation is at stake like a scarlet letter wearing mode of honor badge for a fraternity.

        At some point compassion has to set in, otherwise one becomes like everyone else. Friend, befriend, use or be used. But you have no clue of what you speak. We just always knew big brother was watching. No different than make believe reality TV. Give good ratings or you get canceled. When you look around and realize your left behind, you stop giving a damn.

      • Lovelynyours says:

        …I hope you weren’t implying that anon poster was me. I see no point in anon posting, as mentioned before. We’re all actually anon – better not to confuse blog readers with who is writing…I own all of my posts.

    • FormerAnon says:

      I hear what your spitting

      When you need assistance in certain fundamentals of life, you better call a woman because over 70% of industries are now minorities, including women.


      “I hear what (you are) spitting” <<<< Do people actually speak this way?

      What does that 70% figure even mean and what are "industries"? Hopefully no explanation is offered because I am sure it will be more ridiculous. Yes I "spit" that……

  89. Dimples_24 says:

    This question is totally unrelated to this blog but I was wondering is there a way to view other sugar babies that are in your area? Haven’t had much luck in this site so maybe I can get some help from someone that lives near me lol

    • Bud says:

      Not an SB or in your area, but I gave a quick look at your profile, it’s actually way better than most I’ve seen. Dunno about that entrepreneur line, but that’s a small quibble.

      It might be the fact that you don’t have better pics – I can’t really tell if you’re actually slim from the two you have, and choosing to never show your face is also something I’m not really a fan of.

      Other than that it comes down to the amount you’re asking (which if you’re honestly willing to accept a minimal allowance shouldn’t presumably be the problem) or the way you behave with pot SDs. Are you actually walking the walk when it comes to delivering what you lay out in your profile?

      My final thought is that I’d think an SD would have better luck offering you advice than an SB would – why would you think competitors would offer you better advice than potential clients?

      • Anonymous says:

        Hahaa. I am still tickeled about the comment below. That is a jam up job right there. I’d say, “Common Mr. Man, show me what your momma gave ya’ and let me see what I am working with!” 🙂

        Austin powers in the background saying “yeah baby, yeah!”

      • Dimples_24 says:

        Hm.. I wasn’t thinking of them as competitors. More of a “networking” thing, lol. Maybe the SD they currently have has friends that aren’t on the site or something.

        I’ve gotten messages but no one I’m attracted to. A bunch of weirdos, to be honest. Or they are usually married.

        I was close to meeting one guy but he keeps pulling the “I’m busy with work” card every time.

        Other than that, haven’t met anyone yet! I wish they held those SD/SB parties more often. It’d be much easier that way, haha

    • Anonymous says:

      I think that your profile is fine, and that the chance that ‘networking’ with other SB’s will be productive is close to 0%.

      Just keep at it; you only need one interested, decent guy to find you. There are a ton of weido guys, yes. Tons of weirdo women, too 😉

      • Anonymous says:

        Good to know! On my next date, I’ll be bold and say “show me the money” and when he looks at me weird, I will say “ahh humm” and nod my head and look at his crotch.


      • Anonymous says:

        Let’s all sing the song from Aladdin “you ain’t never had a friend, never had a friend, ever had a friend, like meeee!” Take it away boys, cha, cha, cha. ?

    • Reb. says:

      I say this in the nicest way possible, but as an African American woman, it will be a harder battle to find a SD. Even I see profile after profile that says, “No black women”. If you want to connect with SBs, Instagram and Tumblr are huge right now. Or there is Facebook. Check out Brandon’s FB and see the comments from fellow SBs.

    • Anonymous says:

      @dimples, profile looks great, maybe some more photos? beautiful AA women are fantastic in my experience, hang in there, Springfield Mass, might be your biggest challenge as you are a bit away from things

    • Bill says:

      I see your problem. “they are usually married”, uh, yes. And if they say they are single, then be suspicious that he may be lying and wonder what else he could be lying about. You have eliminated most of your potential SDs by your own constraint. It should only be a problem if you are looking for a husband and this is not really the site for that.

      A sugarbaby has an older term, a mistress. They are essentially the same, sugarbaby is just a nicer sounding word. The relationship form has always existed in civilization, especially among successful men. There are some advantages to dating married men, and many women here specifically want those advantages. I have met some women, not all SBs, who only date married men.

      You may be working to an inaccurate model of what marriage is. You may think having an SB is detrimental to the marriage. Not always. Everyone can be better off, the couple can stay married, keep their family together, the wife is happy (gets a much bigger allowance than the SB anyway), the SD is happy, the SB is happy. If a man gets divorced, he is going to be paying a heck of a lot more to support two households than the allowance of an SB.

      It is fair to understand something about the relationship between your potential SD and his wife, but if you insist on his being single, then if he is such a catch, why is that? There are a whole lot more women in the world chasing successful single men than there are chasing successful married men.

      My suggestion is to not count out married SDs, because you may never find a single one. But agree to meet and feel it out.

      As far as the wierdos, I can’t help with that. There are crazy girls here too and they are made for each other.

    • Anonymous says:

      Actually networking with other SB’s has helped me tremendously. If you would like to contact me feel free.

  90. SouthernSB says:

    Bored and lonely and hate having to look for POTS.

    • Anonymous says:

      Should have stowed them where they are easy to find?

      • SouthernSB says:

        Nope just been spending too much time on Tumblr and getting depressed because I’m no longer 22 and I just found out I’m too old to open an acct. on Luxy.

    • Anonymous says:

      @ Southern

      What is the age limit of Luxy btw? What makes it different from SA?

      Do both participants have to be wealthy?

      • lovelynyours says:

        Typically, yes. Unless the community deems you wildly attractive enough to get by without it. It’s not marketed as a sugar site – it’s more like dating for the elite, accomplished, and/or attractive. Cream of the crop types dating cream of the crop types. This is how it’s marketed, at least. The selection process is determined by existing members voting you in based on the profile you create. Your profile includes your favorite luxury brands, and your matches are provided, in part, based on that criteria (which I find stupid). If more than 50% of voters say yes, you get in. If not, your profile is deleted and you’re SOL. Many profile pics include those proving your wealth to the community (private jet shots, shopping bags, houses, cars, celeb friends, etc.)

        Not sure what the age limit is – I got an account but I’m only in my late 20s.

      • Anonymous says:

        @ lovely

        Thank you for your honest answer that was lovely to read. Your thoughts are always appreciated as are many, many others here.

      • SouthernSB says:

        Age limit is 40. I’m 11 years over that. I don’t think the women have to be rich just really, really hot, but hot is subjective. I really need to stop going on tumblr and looking at those girls that look like they all were made in some strange factory. I’m starting to feel like I’m in high school again and high school sucked.

      • Amused_SD says:

        Ugh. It sounds hideous.

  91. Anonymous says:

    It never made any sense to me, how come it is more “ok” for an SB to ask for money going to a dinner date, than for a gent to ask of a “free” intimacy sample?
    After all, it is irrelevant whether or not a gent is loaded, until an SB has committed to an arrangement and he has to “show her the money”.
    On the other hand, if an SB is a “dead fish” of a disaster in bed, a gent has to know before committing to a few more horror dates where he really wishes he could’ve stayed home, watch a few porn flicks and save all this dough…
    However, any gent who would dare saying anything like that would be absolutely ostracized…why is that?

    • lovelynyours says:

      We’ve made it pretty clear on the blogs that it is not okay for an SB to ask for money to go on an initial date, so I’m not sure why you’ve framed your question that way.

    • Anonymous says:

      Then what about the SB’s being able to ask the men if they have a nice package? Can we see it in advance to make sure they will not be a bad lay as well? Fair is fair. It is not always only about money.

    • Anonymous says:

      Miming it “pretty clear on the blogs” has no meaning when SA encourages what’s suggested above. 🙁

    • Anonymous says:

      It is very simple, really.
      Women are hypocrites. They have no issues deriving some of their income using the little shaved cat. That does not prevent them from thinking the cat has something to do with their feeling of self-worth and is, really, pure gold.
      So while they “reluctantly” accept you hard-earned in exchange for that gold between their legs, under no circumstances will they give it to you for free – if they know full well they can milk you for it.
      Of course, their tattooed broke and stoned BF is a totally different story…

      • Anonymous says:

        Men value their little member below as gold also. They think the sun rises and sets on their goldmember. If not the one in their pants, then the gold card in their hand. It would be nice to find a man who has a balance on what the traditional version of a mistress or a traditional sugar style relationship should be. Maybe after all the johns ruin and brainwash your fellow members, you can charge for aristocratic courses and self help seminars to polish them back up and set a very high standard.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        The shaved cat only has value in a woman’s mind but some many men are willing to spend/risk so much to obtain it.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        The gold card … yes but not the member below. That they’ll gladly give away for free

      • Anonymous says:

        “Men value their little member below as gold also. They think…”

        Sugar…Hold your horses, take a bath and drink some of your herb tea.
        If men were indeed thinking that, Brandon Wade would still be running Duck Tours in San Francisco…
        The reason this website exists, is cuz, see, men are pragmatic creatures and they admit it. No matter how “gold” my member is, I know you want these shoes. This is the reality and I accept it.
        What you do not want to accept is that your “high standards” and “aristocratic courses” are just a disguise for “I am lazy and not very bright, but I do really really really want these shoes”.

    • Anonymous says:

      My first date routine is almost always coffee. I typically treat her to the coffee 🙂 It’ll be at a place in the city that’s accessible to public transport, and other than graciously paying for her coffee or tea there is no further remuneration. Recently I had a coffee date with a POT, I gave her a ride home, and she invited me in. (I left my wallet in the car.) I am now FULLY aware that she is someone I’d like to see again 😉

  92. Anonymous says:

    I think the ease of posting anonymously should be reconsidered…

  93. JayBirdy says:

    Hey Admin! WTF is going on? My first 337 posts of today are all still in review.

  94. FunDuds says:

    @Josh. How are you and lovely Mrs. Guru doing, Turncoat? You only have yourself to blame for not listening to the teachings of Dr. F.

    I have preached for years that NONE of them are worth marrying. And only the 23 year old SuperModel or Playmate of the Year types are worth more than pocket change. I hope you know a good divorce attorney. You are going to need one soon.

    Talk later, Guy. I am off to perform lobotomy surgery on another former SD who did not listen to the Good Doctor. He reminds me of you, about one year from now. See you then. HAHAHAHA

  95. gentleman soul says:

    Here’s a common one .
    “I love to go to dinner or hang out in a public area until trust is built.”

    Ladies ,do you expect an allowance while that trust is under construction ? I ,for one , would love to have din din with a lovely lady a few times with no consummation on either side ,but no contract -no money. Is the expectation that SDs should be overjoyed -nae- overcome with compassion to get that tuition paid while fair maiden is mulling things over ?

    • SBTVC15 says:

      Personally, no. If we are still “building trust”, then I’m in the process of deciding whether or not to enter an arrangement. If I’m still deciding, then there is no arrangement yet. If there’s no arrangement, I don’t expect money (and won’t be having sex either).

    • Caressyoursoul says:

      LOL! I can’t believe some SBs ask let alone expect this. Young people today…haha!

  96. flyR says:

    I think the answer to the allowance indicated in the profile is beyond my budget question is to politely inquire if you are interested.

    Dear Mz Bubbles – I loved your profile and think we might be a great fit. You mentioned you love playing soccer . It is one of my favorite sports and I now coach the University of Sagebrush womens soccer team. I took up coaching after receiving the Nobel prize in physics which i also see is one of your interests.

    I noted that you are indicated a moderate allowance . While it is something I could afford it is not within what I think is a prudent budget for me. If something mid range practical was of interest I would love to talk with you but will fully understand if not.

    Hope to hear from you . xxx

  97. cryptic anomaly says:

    So I start chatting with a SB, she mentions she is part of a political party, she has mentioned it and I am curious so I ask which one, she says she doesn’t want to say for privacy reasons.

    Note to all: Don’t mention things you don’t want to expand on!!!

    • Bill says:

      Since some of us SDs may be elected officials, or in my case, asked by party bosses to run (Sorry, I’m not taking that kind of pay cut), or contribute a fair amount of money to candidates, it seems like an important question for SBs who are politically active.

      She should have answered the question.

  98. J3n1n2 says:

    Hello all!
    I’m new to this …Can someone help a girl out and give me feedback on my profile!
    I’d appreciate it a lot. Here’s the link: https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/eecfa6111/view

    Thanks in advance

  99. SexyRockstar says:

    K. I’m going to chime in on something mentioned a bit down.

    Someone said ‘escorts are cheaper’
    Yes. Yes they are. If you are looking for a ‘bargin’ price or think you should get a ‘discount’ because you’re attractive….
    You’re missing the point of having a sugar relationship.

    After reading comments on here, it seems to be all the douches from Ashley Madison and escorts on
    Backpages came here. It is fucking gross.

    For me…if a man can’t impress me, sugar or non….he isn’t worth my time. Just as a woman, not making you happy in all ways, isn’t worth your time.

    True sugar relationship is a man who ACTUALLY cares about his baby, and wants to help her. Sugar baby cares about daddy and RESPECTS him and his time. A real woman, sugar baby or not, should always want to give more to a man in a relationship.

    SA is a tool for those good women and wealthy men to come together.

    There will always be a richer man and always be a hotter girl, but it’s the bond two people share that makes it worth everything.

    I just turned 26, but drummer isn’t banging 21 year olds.
    I meet wealthy men everyday…..but drummer can’t be beat.

    • Bud says:

      I don’t think it is unreasonable for people on either end of the equation to vary what they are offering/expecting based on their overall ‘attractiveness’

      If SD’s can’t tailor their allowance based on their own intrinsic value, couldn’t you then make the argument that no SB should ever expect a higher allowance than another even if they were more attractive, using the exact same logic?

      Somehow I’m doubting that many would agree with that, so it seems silly to expect that SD’s shouldn’t be allowed to do the same?

      If you were referring to the escort/p2p types apologies, just wanted to point out the distinction, which I don’t think is unreasonable.

      • SexyRockstar says:

        If a POT can’t reach close to the financial expectations of a potsb, he shouldn’t message her.

        If a girl isn’t attractive, she shouldn’t be on here. Lol.

        P2p arrangements make me sick. I’m all about building up to a monthly allowance, but if that’s not happening within two months, dude just wants an escort. Move on.

        My profile didn’t speak p2p arrangements. Spoke to the SD I want to attract.

      • SexyRockstar says:

        And girls, no matter how hot you are, doesn’t mean shit. If you can’t bring anything to the table, you’re going to fail.

        I’m a soild 7. There’s hotter chicks, of course, but my SD is not even 40, sexy as hell and we’ve been together forever.

      • Bud says:

        “If a POT can’t reach close to the financial expectations of a potsb, he shouldn’t message her”

        So is negotiation acceptable or not? I know plenty of SBs who might -say- they want a moderate allowance, but will actually -accept- a lower one. It certainly never hurts to ask, right? Aren’t both people trying to get the best ‘deal’ they can, so to speak?

        In the same vein, from an SD perspective, if I bring -lots- of extras to the table, should I not expect to pay less?

        If I have my own private jet, am a restaurateur capable of taking someone to 5-star dinners every night, own a car dealership so I could give away freebies, or am 40 years old and in shape rather than 65 and nasty, I’m probably going to expect to have to contribute less financially than another guy who lacks those advantages.

        “If a girl isn’t attractive, she shouldn’t be on here. Lol.”

        Register a male SD profile, then go take a look at the pool of registered SBs, and then tell me what you think about this 😉

        They maybe -should- not be here, but they certainly -are-. And they’re also poisoning the well in many regards with their delusions. No, sweetpea, you taking photographs of yourself wearing the gifts I mail you and then sending me the pics is not worth $5k/month.

        “And girls, no matter how hot you are, doesn’t mean shit. If you can’t bring anything to the table, you’re going to fail. ”

        Only partially true imo. Are you really saying that -all other variables being equal- (such as your personality, and all things not explicitly related to your physical attractiveness), how hot a girl is does not directly impact the amount of allowance she will be able to realistically demand, and more importantly, actually receive from someone?

        Pretty sure that it does. Your example is rather hyperbolic, too; for some guys being hot is -all- they are looking for. I agree that these guys are usually creeps looking for a quick score or p2p relationship, but to claim that how hot you are ‘doesn’t mean shit’ just seems silly. It is not necessarily the -defining factor-, but it certainly means something.

        ‘Bringing nothing to the table but your looks’ doesn’t guarantee failure – unless your looks aren’t as good as you think they are.

        It just makes you a hell of a lot less attractive as an overall prospect, and will consequently impact what most guys are willing to provide you.

        “I’m a soild 7. There’s hotter chicks, of course, but my SD is not even 40, sexy as hell and we’ve been together forever.”

        You’re illustrating my point pretty perfectly. You obviously bring more to the table than those other girls, who may be better looking than you.

        This has presumably enabled you to reap the same benefits as hotter girls are – but you’re taking advantage of those non-hotness related assets you’ve got to achieve this.

        If those girls who were hotter than you also were as pleasant/nice/supportive/charming/cool/fun/great cook/sexual wildcat/ whatever you have that’s making you special and able to effectively compete against them, I think they would probably be able to realistically demand more than you; wouldn’t they?

      • lovelynyours says:

        “If those girls who were hotter than you also were as pleasant/nice/supportive/charming/cool/fun/great cook/sexual wildcat/ whatever you have that’s making you special and able to effectively compete against them, I think they would probably be able to realistically demand more than you; wouldn’t they?”

        Bud – see, this is where some guys get into trouble. They attempt to apply theory to practice to try to navigate this space, but it isn’t that cut and dry and it just doesn’t work in reality. In practical terms, no, she wouldn’t be able to “demand” (hate that word) more than Rockstar, because they wouldn’t know how much Rockstar’s asking. They have no idea that Rockstar even exists.

        This is why “worth” should never be mentioned here. I’m not “worth” $5,000/month, which is what I’m getting as an allowance. I, simply as a human being, don’t place a monetary value on who I am as a person; I think that’s asinine. I simply ask for what I think would be ideal for me, and see whether or not I get it.

        To your point about an SD being able to offer less based on his attributes: sure, I think that’s fair. But if you think attractiveness is going to play much of a role in that, you may be mistaken. You can reasonably negotiate down based on your other resources (willingness to give a car, private jet, mentoring, etc.), but notsomuch based on your attractiveness. Women are more interested in resources, men are more interested in looks. Your being attractive and in your 40s isn’t going to influence that as much as you might think, if at all – even for women who need off-the-bat physical attraction.

      • Bud says:

        Appreciate the good comments from both of you!

        I would say though that if you found someone to pay you $5k a month, that you are indeed worth that – to that person.

        Isn’t there some old saying about something being ‘worth’ whatever you’re able to get someone to pay for it? Pretty sure this applies here – and of course, this has absolutely nothing to do with your intrinsic worth as a person, which we all have (and I don’t think anyone is denying).

        You may be ‘worth’ 5k to your current SD, ‘worth’ 3k to another, and only ‘worth’ 1k to someone who doesn’t find you that appealing. And yet you’re the exact same person. This isn’t a problem, just a question of people choosing to value different things.

        Regarding the SBs being unaware of the competition, I don’t think they are, really. If they -are- unaware of this, they certainly shouldn’t be, as they are really doing damage to their potential relationships. I’m a businessman, and I -always- know what the competition is doing; and so should they.

        The SBs I have personally spoken with were all extremely curious about the other gals I have been meeting, and what sort of competition they are facing.

        There’s also a natural correcting mechanism in place here. If an SB starts out with lets say a ‘High’ expectation, and gets no bites for months, she will probably re-evaluate her goals, and may consider moving herself down to ‘Moderate’. Still no hits? Consider Practical. And so on.

        Your point on attractiveness not mattering that much is also well-taken, but I do think it matters more than you believe to a particular subset of pot SBs.

        To illustrate, most of the pot SBs I’m looking at are in the 18-25 age range or so. I think upwards of half of them make some explicit statement on their profiles that they won’t become involved with someone they are not attracted to and would not normally date, etc.

        My takeaway from this is that if I don’t measure up to their expected level of physical attractiveness, they aren’t interested in a sugar relationship – unless I’m willing to bring obscene amounts of cash to the table, or compensate in some other way.

        Your mileage may vary of course 🙂

      • Anonymous says:

        This conversation is a perfect example of male vs. female logic…
        The main difference is the male inherent ability and propensity to separate objective from subjective and emotional from factual…

      • SexyRockstar says:

        I’m not sure if I like you, or want to slap you.

        Your post about being 45 vs 65 and having all this wwonderful stuff…

        K. Every arrangement is different. Cash gifts vs fancy dinner dates vs traveling.

        It’s fair to say, most girls want a cash gift arrangement.

        If a girl needs 2500k to reach her goals, she needs to find a man who can. Said man should WANT to help her.

        I’ve been on dates where we went to LA for lunch ( I’m in Chicago) in his jet. It was cool, but I had to pay for a baby sitter for that. He told me how dare I ask for cash gift because he just took me to LA.

      • lovelynyours says:

        In the job market, one’s skills are worth what someone will pay for them. I’m not talking about my employment skills. I’m talking about who I am – my personality and my person. I don’t put a monetary value on that, and no man or woman should. If someone gives me 10K, that isn’t because I’m only worth 10K to them. It’s because they want me, and that’s the maximum that they will or are actually able to give. If someone offers me 1K, it’s not because my worth is only 1K. It’s because that’s what they’re willing/able to give.

        I COULD pay $1100 for Louboutins directly from the designer, or I could pay $550 for the same pair at a sample sale instead. If I choose to go to the sample sale, it isn’t because the shoes are worth $550 to me – it’s because why pay 1000 if I can pay $550? If it turned out the shoes weren’t available in my size at the sample sale, I’d probably turn around and go buy them from Louboutin directly instead. The shoes haven’t magically become worth 1,000 to me – I know that the shoes are actually worth far less given the cost to make them is more like $50. But I want the shoes, I can afford them, so I buy them.

        If I somehow found an authentic pair on Canal Street in NYC for $100 (I know, but for argument’s sake), where you can negotiate, I’d probably see how low I could get the seller to go. I would have bought them for $100, but $50 is cheaper, so why not?

        And that’s just shoes (which aren’t one of a kind) – we’re not even talking about human beings. I still believe you can’t consider what someone is willing to pay for something to equate to a human’s worth (to that person, or otherwise). In the marketplace, people will always look to spend knowing that they want to spend as little as humanly possible. Just because an SB gets $1K from an SD doesn’t mean she’s “worth” 1K to him. She might be “worth” more, but he’s managed to get her down to 1K – or hell, perhaps that’s all she’s really looking for. Too many other factors come into play here.

    • flyR says:

      “There will always be a richer man and always be a hotter girl, but it’s the bond two people share that makes it worth everything.”


    • gentleman soul says:

      @Bill ,I think it was, wrote an excellent commentary on this topic -on a prior blog topic.

      The take home for me was -sugar goals should be flexible-or each party will miss many good opportunities. The SB who “knows her worth” at High Expectation for example, might miss out on a wonderful SD who pays Practical by blowing him off. She can enjoy the fruits of her labors with him while still searching for that elusive Unicorn. Sugar Princess is holding out Nexting each profile that doesn’t meet her exalted opinion of herself/needs/worth. At the end of an 8 month period Bill-say -asks how she has done in banking any bucks,not to mention BIG Bucks . Of course her answer is zero $. She could have had at least some allowance while enjoying the company of a nice Daddy. So Babies ,get off your high horses ,find a nice Daddy ,and enjoy life while still searching for the Uni .

    • gentleman soul says:

      We all have our price -bottom line. It’s OK to draw it at a high level ,just don’t be surprised that the “Market” doesn’t reward you .

    • lovelynyours says:

      Thank you, Rockstar. I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s noticed the downward spiral of the quality of the blog. I’ve only been around for 5 or 6 months and have still noticed the john and escort-esque turn this place has taken. I think far too often people forget, or don’t even know, what a sugar relationship is supposed to be. To many, it’s very similar to escorting – only because that’s precisely how they choose to approach it and that’s the lens through which they compare it.

      • Anonymous says:

        ” all the douches from Ashley Madison and escorts on
        Backpages came here. It is fucking gross.”

        “I agree that these guys are usually creeps looking for a quick score or p2p relationship”

        Elitism abounds in the Sugar Bowl on both sides of the table . Bud, what makes you think you are better than the guys who want a P2P relationship ? Why would you ass-ume that your motives are purer than the “douches” from AM ? Men and women are searching for a connection and just have different ways to do it . They are all valid. Enjoy your “way” ,just don’t knock others. Your dollars spend just the same as others.

      • Bud says:

        I don’t think I’m ‘better’ than someone who wants to P2P.

        However, unless I’m mistaken, this website is not the sort of place to talk about that. Aren’t there escort review boards and communities and stuff for that?

        If you read my comment more carefully, you’ll see that the part you quoted, about ‘these guys are usually creeps’ etc., corresponds directly to an assertion by SexyRockstar. It wasn’t a statement made devoid of context.

        The guys who I referred to as being usually creeps are the guys she refers to as the ‘douches from AM and the escorts from Backpage’.

        And unless I’m mistaken a second time, the prevailing opinion seems to be that these people -are- indeed acting creepy here on SA; primarily by trying to turn it into an escort environment instead of a sugar one.

        Does that clarify for you?

      • Anonymous says:

        well, here’s the thing Bud. Can we agree on the basic premise of Sugar being finance for romance-plus ? With rare exceptions I would say that is true . So Sugar relations run the gamut from the “ideal” -an almost IRL GF experience to the dreaded PTP.

        There are many guys who want a relationship of sorts with their SB ,but who can not date in public-mainly because of SO issues . These men have to pay weekly(PTP) but have a long term horizon -not a pop and go mentality. These guys are SDs as much as Rockstars man is ,they just need to star under the radar a little more deeply than many.

        OTOH,there are pure Johns who want to call random available girls when they need an O and are not interested in an ongoing relationship. That is not what the intention is for SA

      • Bud says:

        Yes, we can agree on that basic premise, and I now understand where you were coming from better.

        I’ve got nothing wrong with P2P in concept, and realize that there are all sorts of different perspectives and circumstances people have that need to be accommodate.

        I expect I’ll have to personally learn more about those myself as I age in fact, so I’m keeping an open mind about it, haha.

        What I realize I failed to communicate is that people from the P2P scene are behaving -nasty- here on SA.

        Go read through the last 5 or so most recent blog posts and comment threads.

        You’ll see males from the P2P world bragging about how SA is the perfect place to pump and dump ‘cum dumpsters’ who they trick into giving up ‘free samples’ and other charming sentiments like these.

        Making comparisons about how SA is just like escorting, but way better, because you can totally rawdog her since shes had a metric shit-ton fewer lovers, you get like 10x the time you do with a pro, blah blah blah. Really nasty & gross stuff.

        Then you have the women from the P2P scene who are making comments to the effect that pot SBs need to start demanding ‘money for their time’ before any face-to-face meetup has ever taken place.

        Or the ones suggesting that if a pot SD isn’t willing to give you an envelope with at least $500 in it every time he sees you, that he’s a gigantic douchebag Splenda-daddy who should be crapped on and potentially castrated. This is of course no matter who you are or what you bring to the table.

        Hopefully that illustrates my own point a bit better. I don’t think anyone has an existential issue with escorts or P2P people, just with the fact that too many of them seem to be taking a dump all over the place.

      • Anonymous says:

        Got it ! I think respect for each other and a longer term horizon characterizes the Sugar Philosophy .

      • flyR says:

        Understand that the blog is like a sock drawer which is never cleaned . Eventually it is simply filled with lost , mismatched socks .

        Most of the quality, successful SB’s tire of the high volume whinny posts and simply give up trying to share positive thoughts

    • Bill says:

      I agree completely. I hope new SBs read your advice.

      There are escorts here, many trying not to admit to themselves that that is what they are, and there are Johns here, many trying not to admit to themselves that is what they are.

      I wish they would be more honest. I was getting close to setting up a meeting with one SB, who gave no hint of her profession, then I found her very own escort page, complete with reviews. Block.

      • lovelynyours says:

        “There are escorts here, many trying not to admit to themselves that that is what they are, and there are Johns here, many trying not to admit to themselves that is what they are.”

        Exactly. Sadly, there are so many of them (some who are vocal, some who aren’t) that they pollute the very definition of a sugar arrangement / sugar relationship, often in asserting that sugar covers a wide spectrum of types of arrangements varying in levels of connection when the spectrum really isn’t all that wide. Wanting an ongoing escort because a guy doesn’t like the idea of having a woman who has a list of other men, for instance, isn’t a sugar relationship – that’s just a hooker on retainer.

  100. SD On Chat says:

    Here’s a gem from a 18 year-old SB perspective:

    “Honestly I want someone who doesn’t mind me spending their money on myself for little in return. However that’s hard to find so I have to compromise.”

    This is from a profile update. Perhaps reality is starting to settle in.

    • FormerAnon says:

      here is a real diamond in the rough

      I am already in a relationship but looking for a discreet wealthy man or woman to spoil me, who I can provide comfort for in return…something mutually beneficial. Unfortunately I am in a current financial crisis, so a generous allowance is expected to help me reach my goals. I also enjoy excessive pampering.

      Please DO NOT message me if you are only interested in sex. I am not here to provide sexual favors. Instead, I am here to provide satisfaction in other ways, such as emotional comfort and support.

      I love making people feel good about themselves and motivating them to succeed in life. I am that shoulder to cry on, that person that is ready to listen to what you have to say when know one else will, that person you can always vent your problems and frustrations to without harsh judgement. I will always try my best to help you see things from a different perspective and lift you up when you are feeling down. Although I do expect a generous allowance to help me meet my goals, I am NOT interested in exchanging money for sex, That is just not me. It seems like everyone on this site is looking to hook up sexually for money, which to each their own, but I have different expectations of this site. I am looking for someone to help me out financially, whom I can help out mentally/emotionally.


      1. the laughable attempt to redefine what this site is about

      2. it seems to me if she is going to be halfway good at helping you reach YOUR goals them she probably will not be in a major financial crisis that requires a generous allowance AND “pampering” (of course) because of course she should get 100% of what she wants while making it clear what you will NOT get

      3. they have people called psychiatrist and psychologist that get paid to listen to peoples BS while not having sex with them and those people often have a degree that means there is some small chance they will know methods to help people cope

      4. when you can afford a SB you have lots of people that will listen to your BS for money with no sex involved…..hell go to a damn bar and tip well

      5. she is in a relationship…..perhaps that broke loser should get a second job (along with her) and then there will not be a financial crisis going on or perhaps she can use all her “skills” to get that guy to reach their potential and give her money and pamper her

      instead he is broke, is apparently not receptive to her skills and uplifting methods and probably gets the sex and she probably pays his bills which is why she is in a financial crisis

      • gentleman soul says:

        LOL- a Shrink costs $100/hour -usually covered by insurance. Spoilage costs a wee bit more.

      • Bruce Wayne says:

        I actually saw that profile too. I thought it was laughable and almost like she was shaming an SD into helping her out — because she is too good to have sex for money. I am guessing she is living with a very hot, tatted up, deadbeat.

  101. Brunette SB says:

    Last night if discovered that my new SD had a slight dandruff problem. So, I have him “Head and Shoulders” and it cleared it right up.

  102. SexyRockstar says:

    Damn. Hello all.
    Reading all of this makes me happy I’m not into llooking for a sugar daddy. Drummer and I are still together.

    I see so many new people posting. I hope all is well with everyone

    • Dr. Laura says:

      All is certainly well with @Josh and @LadyScarlett. They are currently honeymooning at Toxic Gardens Resort and Spa on lovely Three Mile Island. See my post from Wednesday for all the pornographic details. It will make you and Drummer jealous with envy 🙂

      Dr. Laura
      The LOVE Doctor

  103. Sarah_Rose says:

    I personally hate it when a SD (but it seems to be typical with men in general) doesn’t respond to questions. I don’t mean respond to me at all, but when I ask a question and get a response that doesn’t pertain to the question. If you specifically don’t want to answer, just say it, or that it’s up for discussion another time. Be real. Be honest.

    • zito says:

      yes, I hate this too…so I usually keep asking the question until they answer, or I give up and move on….I always ask a direct question with a direct answer

      • Sarah_Rose says:

        I’m currently having a hard time getting “what are you interested in” or “what would you want” out of my SD. We’ve met multiple times, and will again tomorrow. I know he wants a little more, or something, and I think he’s afraid or embarrassed to admit or talk about it. It’s driving me nuts, lol. I’m blunt and honest. I’ve even sent emails with details and pics trying to lighten up the mood and get him to talk. Maybe tomorrow.

      • zito says:

        @sarah, he is afraid to say he would like intimacy?…blunt and honest is the only way to live…lol

      • Sarah_Rose says:

        No, we’ve been intimate every time, that’s normally a given, but I think we need to up the game some. I’m trying to see what he’s willing/not willing to do so we can have more fun. It’s been pretty vanilla.

      • zito says:

        oh, so basically it is just the sex with not much else happening?

      • Sarah_Rose says:

        Lunch and drinks, then sex, almost always. I’ve tried to bring a few things into the mix and will try again tomorrow, lol.

      • zito says:

        on the surface it sounds like all he is interested in is the sex…what have you tried to introduce?…how often do you meet? and for how long?

      • Sarah_Rose says:

        I’ve brought along 1 small toy to start, brought lingerie another time which made it from the bathroom to the bed, and sent a couple emails suggesting different things and items. We generally meet 1-2 times per month. We talk everyday. He absolutely adores me and is glad I’m in his life…it’s more than just sex to both of us, but still at a NSA level.

      • Sarah_Rose says:

        He enjoys taking me out in public and showing me off 😉

      • flyR says:

        Perhaps he knows you will not like the honest answer

    • Anonymous says:

      Perhaps he knows you will not like the honest answer

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Women do this as well it is annoying. I also hate it when a SB doesn’t give her first name, I understand surnames but it’s nice to know someone’s real name as opposed to some weird alias they use.

  104. Skies says:

    I think my SD loses interest in me. Now he only replies my message once every 2, 3 days. And we haven’t met in a while…
    Our relationship is like mentorship without the financial component. Maybe it’s time to NEXT now

    • flyR says:

      You may need to find another happy mentor ……..

      I think a lot of SB miss the opportunity to enhance their differentiation from the back page gang when they do not list what they are looking for in addition to the allowance.

      • Skies says:

        Thanks for the reply.
        I made it clear that I was looking for interesting experiences and mentorship with an older man, instead of financial support.
        Not sure if I should do anything to get him back? Since this is more like a friendship with a married man, I should not have any conventional expectations on how responsive he’s supposed to be right…
        In addition, if he really loses interest, then I guess it’s unnecessary for me to lower myself and beg.

      • flyR says:

        If he is married he may be worried or even feeling guilt …….

        Nice note saying you miss him but understand his life is complicated

    • Anonymous says:

      Is sex part of the mentoring ? IF no then that is why he is losing interest

      • Skies says:

        Yes intimacy was a part of the mentorship

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes, it is time to move on. He has likely losing interest,but he could be having challenges at home or work. If you truly value his company it might be reasonable to have THE Talk with him about what is going on and that you are moving on unless he convinces you otherwise .

      • Skies says:

        Why some of my commebts couldn’t get posted?

        Would some men lose interest if a girl is “too easy to get”, even in the sugar bowl?
        Not sure if I was being too friendly…
        I’m advised to be as unresponsive to see how he would react. Appreciate your thoughts 🙂

      • gentleman soul says:

        Just be yourself and not what you think he wants you to be . Don’t play games. Ask questions -like “what would make this more exciting for you ” ? If he is bored with you he will move on. It would be nice to know that ahead of time so you can make your own plans to line up another SD .

    • Anonymous says:

      Also some men are not interested in the pressure of coming up with something meaningful and entertaining for their babies . I ,for one , want to show up ,fuck like rabbits ,and leave an envelope on the table . The interesting experience for you will be having orgasms that you never thought you could have .

    • Anonymous says:

      I feel your pain.. Agony.. But if I didn’t like his sex, I would of nexted him years ago. lmao (true story)

      I simply wait and cross my finger his wife falls asleep and he rushes to my aide. Pun intended. And so is my comment. ROTFLMAO

  105. Anonymous says:

    how old should a SB be

    • Anonymous says:

      well the site minimum is 18, but I prefer 21 or even older. I like to drink socially with my SB, and in the States, 21 is the legal drinking age.

    • Anonymous says:

      I prefer not to go over 23. Older women get these thoughts, that they look younger then their actual age, which makes them more deserving of high allowances. They miss the point that SDs are not comparing them to women in their age group, but simply to women who are younger.

    • Bruce Wayne says:

      My preferred age range is 24-29. Under 24, almost all have proven to be very flaky. SBs over 29 that I have met in person were all complete train wrecks with unrealistically high allowance expectations. (your mortgage, car payment and kid costs don’t determine your allowance — the market does). Everyone has their own preferences though.

      • Anonymous says:

        I don’t think it is so much about age as the individual. I have met 19 yo who were mature, rational , stable and highly focused on their futures. Also some mid to late 30’s who were just as fun, problem free and uninhibited.

        With the young you are more likely to get immaturity and irresponsibility. With the older there’s the burden of her prior experiences. On a couple of occasions I have cut some prospectives off as they wanted to tell their life of woe story. I’m sorry but my purpose for being here is to have fun, if it is not about fun then it’s probably not something we need to share.

        The key is filtering by individual patterns of behavior, regardless of age. I’m not looking for an army of SB’s , but rather one at a time. If they are motivated to pursue goals and not selfish there’s potential.

        Likewise there are a lot of flakes across the entire age spectrum. One last minute cancellation by a prospect and it is game over with a few possible exceptions.

        Generally avoid single mothers with children who need baby sitters unless they are well organized.

        It is more comfortable to be with a more age appropriate woman in some circumstances.

      • Sarah_Rose says:

        I’m 33 and a single mom, and ALL have my SDs have been nothing but satisfied. Do not leave out any woman just because of her age or family life. Unfortunately, that’s all part of the filtering process. You can generally tell who’s clingy or a bit crazy after a few text messages. Be honest with what you’re expecting and looking for so she knows your expectations upfront.

    • Reb. says:

      My ex-SDs have had large ranges. Some have been 23… and some have been 40. Every guy has different tastes.

    • THEATLSD says:

      Old enough to know that this life style of done wrong can fuk you up for life. Tread carefully young one.

  106. Anonymous says:

    men like women for sex, women like men for resources.

    If you look like a 10, and your personality is a 3, you are a 3.

  107. Anonymous says:


    There are 6 times as many white women as there black woman in America. Is this website telling me that having sex with a black woman is 24 times more risky to get exposed to HIV than with a white woman?

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes but it is a little more complicated than that . You have substantially higher numbers of black women using drugs and also much higher rates of infection from bisexual black males/ drug users

      The most effective method of avoiding aids is to avoid those whose behavior or associates put you at risk. It is not so much about race as lifestyle and associates.

      • Another Anonymous says:

        But knowing somebody’s habits and associates is not easy. So race is a simple and easy proxy.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Just get tested. Which everyone should be doing regardless of race. If she refuses then you move on. If you can’t wait for test results to get in her pants, then take the at home HIV test. It’s inexpensive ($40-$50) available at your local drugstore and you get the results in 20 minutes.

    • John Doe Smith says:

      Don’t be an idiot, just get tested regardless of what race you’re dating…

  108. Anonymous says:

    Today’s profile gem. “I had unpleasant experiences in the past with medical professionals, dentists and Jewish sugar daddies. But I am trying to keep an open mind and not stereotype.”

    She is “well-educated, mature and classy.”

  109. Anonymous says:


    “man up”

    This is the age of equality. If “woman up” is not in common use then “man up” should be abandoned as well.

    • Anonymous says:

      That might be true if you want to live in a world of gender neutralization . However, that’s really a world of failed humans pretending to be after a loftier goal rather than admitting to their failures.

    • Anonymous says:

      ” thats really a world of failed humans pretending to be after a loftier goal rather than admitting their failures ”

      In a world of gender neutralization not much will be fun


    • SouthernSB says:

      I just say “Put your big girl panties on.” It convenes the exact same message as “man up.”

  110. Anonymous says:


    “Men have had Viagra for decades and all women got was in return was dildos.”

    Makes a lot of sense. Men have been using Viagra to masturbate I guess?

  111. Mr. Rob says:

    Hello. Mr. Rob here. I usually post under my SD handle, but this one is a little sensitive. This is my third month here. Off-topic post coming…

    So, I was on a second date with a new girl. The first one (last week) was in a bar for an hour and a half. We hit it off, and scheduled for tonight after work.

    At the restaurant tonight, we went to a nice place, had a good time, kissed a little, and wound up back at my place.

    In bed, it just wasn’t all that great. She pretty much laid there and said, “do me.”

    So I did. 😉

    I wasn’t really sure if she wasn’t into it, or wasn’t into me. She said and groaned all the right things, but it just wasn’t there. With the lack of encouragement, I admit that I didn’t bring my A-game, either.

    She clearly enjoyed my company (and I hers) – we hung out for a long time after, just talking.

    When the time came to discuss our next date, I explained that I like her a lot, but next time, she needs to take a more proactive role in the proceedings. She explained that ‘that’s how I am; I’m just not very into sex.’ I told her that we will need to discuss this further.

    She sent me three ‘had a great time, you’re a cool guy, thanks’ texts on her way home. I don’t *think* that I’m being played, but regardless of the level of played, I’m not going to continue with her. The allowance involved is not enough to make or break anyone, by the way.

    So I guess my question is: Is this prevalent? I’m prepared for there to be girls whose hearts may not be in it, but their bodies should be.

    Mostly, I just needed to share this, and couldn’t think of anywhere else to do it. Maybe there’s some discussion sites for this kind of stuff, but I don’t know any.

    Thanks. I’m looking forward to your comments. Will answer any questions.

    • Anonymous says:

      What’s her age and all the related data? Single or single mom? Is she on birth control? Did you use condom?

      • Mr. Rob says:

        Age: 28; her profile says 24.
        She’s pretty. Not beautiful, but pretty. She showed up in a very pretty dress tonight.
        Marital Status: Single
        Birth Control: Don’t know. We used a condom.

      • Anonymous says:

        Got one just like her -so I am using her as a sperm dump right now. Unfortunately I don’t have the opportunity to search for another ,so she gets her allowance, I get my Nutt. The difference between a Pro and her is monogamy vs Many partners. I like bareback and I don’t want to risk bare with a Pro .

      • Anonymous says:

        Hey Rob, If the pussy fits ,wear it ! If you have a better alternative -do that

    • Anonymous says:

      Since you claim that you enjoyed her company and she enjoyed yours, and you claim that she is not breaking your bank, give it a shot for some time while keeping your options open.

    • Hobbyist says:

      Obviously she didn’t like you but let you “do her” as part of the evening program. She’s in it for the money. That’s what I wrote earlier, these SBs think they are better than escorts but they are no different. At least with escorts, you get better service and will not just lay there. What was the damage for the evening? Better off seeing an escort,I bet.

      • Mr. Rob says:

        >What was the damage for the evening?
        $250, plus about $50 at the restaurant. — Happy hour menu! I wouldn’t want to throw that money down the toilet every day, but she drove 45 minutes each way to see me. So no huge expense for me, but not a home run for her, either.

        >Better off seeing an escort,I bet.
        For pure performance, yes. They’re not called Professionals for nothing. But I enjoy the time before and after with these girls, and I’m not getting that from a hooker. Nor four hours of a hooker’s time for three hundred dollars.

      • Hobbyist says:

        Thanks for the answer…if you find an escort that you can click, you might be lucky enough they’ll spend time with you off the clock. I have had the fortune of several who did that. I think in the end, escorts are cheaper. You don’t have to wine and dine escorts and buy gifts.

      • Hobbyist says:

        I forgot to add. Alot of these SBs think they are sacred virgins who should receive an “allowance” of being wined and dined. They are not “prostitutes” and will not have sex. Does it make sense?

      • Anonymous says:

        you dropped $300 for an evening with an attractive, significantly younger woman that can hold a conversation. You had sex — not the best — but you had sex and you are less than satisfied… perhaps a tad bit of unrealistic expectations. Explore your options but don’t be surprised if you look back at this as the good old days 🙂

        I ended things with a smoking hot woman that fcked like a porn star because she started checking her cell phone all the time we were together — don’t miss her, but these sugar relationships are seldom perfect.

      • femaleannon says:

        A per date of 250?
        Wow. Unless you’re seeing her twice a week, don’t expect much from her sexually.

    • Anonymous says:

      Two options –

      If you are attracted to her you and want to expend the effort man up to assuming responsibility for her pleasure. Many young women are dulled to the potential having been essentially used as sperm dumpsters by their young male acquaintances and have diminished expectations of their own potential to really enjoy sex.

      I have known only a very few women whose attitude towards sex was not vastly improved by a couple of lengthy O’s prior to penetration.

    • Kandy says:

      Sorry she didn’t meet your expectations of being a porn star.

      • Mr. Rob says:

        Not sure where I said that, Kandy. You don’t think that there’s a happy medium between a porn star and a blow-up doll? Or is simply the ownership of a vagina all that a woman needs to bring to the table?

    • Jaybird923 says:

      A lot of women have never or believe they aren’t capable of having an orgasm during sex with a man because they’ve never experienced it. If you really like her spend the time Before penetration making sure she’s ready not just wet there is a difference.

      If you knew every time you had sex there would be no real enjoyment for you how much effort would you put into it? At least with men whether it’s good/bad sex you still get to have an orgasm. If you don’t think she’s worth the effort than move on.

    • Anonymous says:

      Rob, a few years ago I had to ‘fire’ a FWB (real fwb, no compensation) because she was BORING in bed. She had a great body, but really just laid there. She was very into me, and cried when I broke it off. The risk (I am married) was not worth the reward. I felt bad, but was not getting what I wanted. To me, a highly responsive partner, who actively participates, is a must-have.

    • Mr. Rob says:

      NOTE: In response to some of the comments below, she got off (or claims/acted like she did) prior to, er, consummation.

      Part of her ‘do me’ involved her laying back and telling me to get my head down there. After, it was ‘I want you – now.’ When I told her that it was my turn, she was all, ‘No! I need you inside!’

      I left that out because I wasn’t going for a Penthouse Letter. But either she thought what we did was great, or acted like she thought what we did was great.

      • Anonymous says:

        It sounds like you gave her just what she wanted. I have definitely had the experience that, after bring a woman to orgasm orally, she wants to be penetrated immediately. More orgasms quickly ensue. This is rather fun for me 😉

  112. Anonymous says:


    “You sound like a bunch of bitter old ass men with canes because the men with money, young and old know that he is denied nothing as long as he makes her happy.”

    Of course men are denied nothing until their utility has been exhausted.

    • Anonymous says:

      That line don’t fly. Sounds more like a maxi pad commercial.

      • Anonymous says:

        You know you trying to use the line men exhaust themselves and then they are denied is bullshit. Men have had Viagra for decades and all women got was in return was dildos. Go sell your maxi pad commercial fake ass elsewhere.

    • Anonymous says:

      And the way to make her happy is with money and the material goods and lifestyle that money can buy. So again it comes down to MONEY.

  113. Promise says:

    I’m a little 50-50 on the insults one. It depends on what is considered an insult to these people.

  114. Love2 Laugh says:

    I’ve also notice a lot of guys are a bunch of time wasters that range from negotiable to practical most that I met only want someone to screw one time and that’s all.

  115. Anonymous says:

    Not shit taking from women but the shit talking you do to women. The men who love their pussy make it beautiful. They deny their women nothing and they sure as hell don’t sit on a blog dogging the woman or women out on a price factor. You sound like a bunch of bitter old ass men with canes because the men with money, young and old know that he is denied nothing as long as he makes her happy. He won’t try to cheapskate a women and call her a cock carousel. Funny thing is your cock has been so used has she moved you out to pasture? Wonder why they made dildos? After yours needed Viagra and was hairy and limp and you bitched that she still wanted to get her hair did for you and her nails and look sexy for your old limp ass but you got pissed and decided she wasn’t worth it. Because that is how you guys sound. Hope old man Jenkins gets a hard on while he rolls you around the old folks home instead of the tittied tinker bell.

  116. Anonymous says:

    I’ve got it! You are the Fairy Escape Godmothers. Lmao

  117. Anonymous says:


    “Without a woman you might as well be locked up in jail with a man who makes you his bitch.”


  118. Anonymous says:


    “It’s not $500 just to sit down to dinner.”

    Some of them idiots think that an older dude should not only pay for their dinner but also pay them to have the “honor” of watching them eat the food he just bought.

    “It is $500 to have sex with a guy older than their father.”

    Yes, SA continues to show hot-looking men…however, this website matches rich men with younger women. Not too many young and rich men are signing up to this site. If that’s a problem, then delete your profile and try Match.com.

    “If they got $500 to bang a hot guy in his 20’s, then yes, that is A LOT of money,”

    Dream on. The hot guy in his 20’s is juggling a few for free.

    “but these older SDs are balding and have a beer belly.”

    Again, like any marketing-driven outfit, SA only buys stock photos of young and fit-looking men.

    “$500 is not worth it and the SDs who have been around the block know you pay for quality in a SB.”

    There aren’t a whole lot of women on SA who would let $500 go. If $500 “is not worth it” for you, then no problem AT ALL. Keep waiting for you unicorn.

    • Anonymous says:

      Sure Lol. Keep telling yourself 500$ is a great deal no one will pass up. Only the needy and girls who don’t know better accept that. But hey, whatever u wanna tell yourself.

  119. Anonymous says:

    Recap: Anonymous says:
    September 2, 2015 at 7:44 pm
    And you know what I mean when I say dry pocket and natural water. The only water will be from your spit on the clit and dry fingering what’s not even real. Keep on down the road of your women hating shit taking and in 20 years make a phone call and let me know how it all worked out for you. You better appreciate the Pusey that throws itself on you for money and appreciate what you have regardless of age. Without a woman you might as well be locked up in jail with a man who makes you his bitch. Wake up dumb asses. Twinkle tinkle little star and twirl your princess before you become the bitch. Shall we call you Alma Rumble Buns? Is that double the price?

  120. Love to Laugh says:

    I know a lot of gentlement are busy with there work but so maybe this is something they need not venture into into they have extra time on there hands since the schedule is so busy.

  121. Another Anonymous says:

    Man, you ruined my evening. I was looking forward to a nice Victorian explanation of priceless. 🙂

  122. Another Anonymous says:

    @ Cryptic

    Man, you ruined my evening. I was hoping for a Victorian explanation of what priceless is. 🙂

  123. Another Anonymous says:

    @ Teanna

    “We are giving up something, that is priceless.”

    Can you please elaborate? 😉

  124. Another Anonymous says:

    Well, it is a great idea. Just because there is salary, the employer should not think anybody OWES him anything. This is very liberating. 🙂

  125. Anonymous says:


    “Although there is an arrangement for the women to get some financial assistance, men shouldn’t think women OWE them something.”

    Isn’t it interesting…getting free money from older dudes is fair game…just cuz?

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      And then the SB wonders why they aren’t having any luck.

    • IHF2030 says:

      Princess-diva-bitch-cunt syndrome is reaching epidemic proportions. I do hop that Russian baby girl comes back, as the joint ain’t the same without her.

      • Anonymous says:

        It’s astounding the amount of time and effort some of the blogsters spend attacking the women of SA.

        Imagine if an NFL coach with an 0-20 record was whining that there are no good players available, they are un-coachable wa wa waaa ……….

        John Wooden was successful because he understood the importance of leadership and coaching in addition to recruiting. His approach to leadership was holistic- you built better basketball players by building better young men and motivating them to play better basketball. Sugar is no different.

      • Anonymous says:

        Many who post here are not even SDs obviously. Or they are crazy and forgot their meds, so come here to let the crazy out. It is a joke here anymore.

    • Teanna says:

      It’s not free money. You don’t just give it to us. We work for it.

      • lovelynyours says:

        I don’t believe it’s free money since there are varying degrees of expectation involved, but I don’t believe we as SBs work for it, either. If you’re working for it, you’re doing something wrong. Being all the things a stellar SB should be (honest, kind, fun, accommodating, sexy, supportive, sensual, energetic, thoughtful, intelligent, generous, respectful, positive, etc.) ought to come naturally – and if it doesn’t, you shouldn’t be an SB.

  126. sb101 says:

    Be honest! If you’ve changed your mind, then say so. Don’t just go MIA!

  127. Lonelynyours says:

    @Josh. Congratulations GuruGuy! I am pleased that you finally seem to have resolved your gender identity anxieties. Enjoy your stay on Three Mile Island in the arms of your new found love. 🙂

  128. cryptic anomaly says:

    So 3 WEEKS AGO, I was in the early stages of chatting with a SB, my last message to her was a question. Today 3 Weeks Later, she responds, and what does she respond with?


    • zito says:

      you were back burnered for something else

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I agree with zito. It sounds like things didn’t pan out with some other POT and now she’s reaching out to the people who messaged her before.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I agree, for me though the humour is her follow up message after 3 weeks, “Hello”, even if that was an open messaging what the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

        And these women want money!

      • zito says:

        oh yeah cryptic, i got that part of your comment…i love the hello message, for that same reason…wtf do I do with a hello message?…Hi…lol

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Zito – What really amuses me is on normal dating sites you have women complaining about receiving hello messages and yet they do the exact same thing themselves.

        I expect a lot more on here from women who supposedly want to get paid.

    • Anonymous says:

      When I find great company I have and would forego sex if I were to make a choice between the former and the latter.

      But alas great sex is easier to find than great company. 🙁

  129. Dr. Laura says:


    Yet again, Dr.Laura has worked her unique brand of love magic and has reconciled two drifting lost souls.

    Yes, after months of counseling and intensely intimate touch therapy, Dr. Laura has brought peace and love to the long, bitter and hate-filled conflict between @Josh and @LadyScarlett !!

    As you know, Josh and LadyScarlett have been absent from the blog for some time. Well, they have ELOPED! They are currently enjoying a passion-filled luxury cruise on New York State’s scenic and aptly named Love Canal. After which, they will be staying in the Honeymoon Suite at the Toxic Gardens Resort and Spa on lovely Three Mile Island.

    This is Dr. Laura’s greatest success since she famously saved the failing marriage of the Sensuous Man and the Sensuous Woman.

    I know all of you bloggers will join me in wishing the love birds Josh and LadyScarlett many years of passion-filled marital bliss 🙂

    Dr. Laura
    THE Love Doctor

  130. Anonymous says:

    Re: Going to school and wanting mentor-ship…really?

    How come regardless of age or financial circumstances, most SBs claim to be going to school of one sort or other and some of them want mentor-ship?

    I guess that taking cues from SA marketing they think that talking about school and mentor-ship makes them desirable sugar BABY?

    • Bud says:

      I think it’s because some Daddy’s probably feel better investing in a girl who is actually trying to make something of herself, rather than just decking her out in Loubotin’s and bolting on a new pair of bewbs.

      Also is probably important for SD’s seeking an actual mental connection with their Babies – do you think a successful, probably highly educated individual is going to have a lot to talk about with a high-school dropout? Not that credentials equal intelligence in any way of course, but, there you have it.

      • Anonymous says:

        Exactly. SD’s want a girl who can hold an intelligent convo with and who have long term career goals besides being a SB forever.

    • Anonymous says:

      Part of the answer is that SA gives free accounts for those with college emails .

  131. Anonymous says:

    Don’t settle for second best SBs.

    Until you find the ideal SB, home-made pocket pussy works wonders. Several techniques are available on the internet. It’s definitely better than hand, and pretty close to the real thing.

  132. Teanna says:

    Although there is an arrangement for the women to get some financial assistance, men shouldn’t think women OWE them something. Like I said, it’s an arrangement, or an untraditional relationship. Women should make good impressions and present themselves in a manner that men will be attracted, but it’s not solely on the women.

    I don’t care how much assistance you are offering or your income, if you are impolite, rude or disrespectful, I won’t want to even see you. It’s not just about the women making a good impression; we’re giving up something that is priceless. It’s not just about sex, and a lot of the men pay for companionship, but you wouldn’t be on this site if you weren’t looking for the golden ticket.

    • Anonymous says:

      Without the link to the profile none of us would know where this nonsense is stemming from.

      You OWE whatever you promised the other side, whether money was involved on not. If you did not promise, you do not owe.

      • Teanna says:

        If you read my comment carefully, you would see that I made no mention of what was promised or not.

        A lot of comments say, “Women are the ones who should be making a good impression, not the men. We’re the ones with the cash.” BOTH parties should be making a good impression. Not just one sided.

        But I guess with your nonsensical mind, you can’t understand that because you’re too caught up in an issue I didn’t even bring up. It probably reflects the issues you’ve been having.

    • Anonymous says:

      I don’t give shit what you wrote, write or will write. I wrote what I wrote and that’s that. Deal with it.

      • Teanna says:

        I’m not going to “deal with it” because I don’t have to.

        YOU on the other hand are dealing with SBs who don’t give you anything they “promised”… Yikes.

  133. Anonymous says:

    The “meaningful relationship” racket…

    – Bang hard-bodies until they are in their late 20s or early 30s.
    – Claim to want a “meaningful relationship” since they want someone else to pay for raising the kids THEY want.
    – Once having the kids, file for no-fault divorce.

  134. Anonymous says:

    Considering that 20-something xbox players don’t give a shit about these women beyond banging their loveboxes, and in reality ask these women to pay for dates… dutch if they are lucky…$500/date is a LOT of money.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yeah uh sure dude. That is why this guy and many others r bragging how they are saving so much money getting better deals on these girls vs. escorts. That is why he compared the average rate he thinks sb’s r compared to what rates he can get with hot vs. average looking escorts, cause’ he respects his SB so much. What a lucky sb! She is so much better off with a guy who views her as a cheaper version of an escort vs. men her own age who might want a relationship, marriage or view her as anything other than a cheap alternative to a hooker.

      • Anonymous says:

        very often her contemporaries view her simply as a sperm dumpster after a dutch treat evening of cheap beer and pizza .

        If you truly believe that SA is a sad collection of mean spirited bitches, whining about everything and believing their bodies are heavenly gifts then be smart and get the fuck out and head for the local meat market bar or club .

    • Anonymous says:

      Most 20-something men are no longer looking for long-term relationships with 20-something women in the western world. They received the memo waaaay too many times from their fathers, uncles, neighbors, colleagues, etc.

      • Anonymous says:

        Better go East then.

      • Anonymous says:

        Righhhht. They received the memo my ass. He knows that without a hot sex kitten, he will be forced to take care of himself when he is sick and cannot move, needs a maid, needs errands run if he cannot find someone else to pay to do his task management by himself. He will either “hire” a female administrative assistant, become gay and hide his version of a female admin. Which still amazes me. If being a woman is so damn bad in half the men’s eyes on this blog and the mockery at pussy you try to perceive it to be…then why are half the men in America bitching up and gender changing to women and/or trams gender changing into women. You can say my words are like @flyboy. Someone has to wake up at some point.

        I you want to continue to dog women out, invest in them for once and you will not be perceived as being a bunch of man hating bitter men in the closet.

    • Anonymous says:

      Well if you are willing to settle in a political dominion where feminism has not taken roots yet, then yes going East would work.

      But if you bring a woman from East, make her sign an iron-clad prenup, before she sets foot in your western country. She must be independently represented by an attorney fully versed in common law.

      • Anonymous says:

        Women haters in a closet. Change your style. Or you won’t have a choice but to buy lubricant on every occasion due to a dry pocket since no man made woman will be able to authentically reproduce a natural water element.

      • Anonymous says:

        And you know what I mean when I say dry pocket and natural water. The only water will be from your spit on the clit and dry fingering what’s not even real. Keep on down the road of your women hating shit taking and in 20 years make a phone call and let me know how it all worked out for you. You better appreciate the Pusey that throws itself on you for money and appreciate what you have regardless of age. Without a woman you might as well be locked up in jail with a man who makes you his bitch. Wake up dumb asses. Twinkle tinkle little star and twirl your princess before you become the bitch.

    • Kandy says:

      It’s not $500 just to sit down to dinner. It is $500 to have sex with a guy older than their father. If they got $500 to bang a hot guy in his 20’s, then yes, that is A LOT of money, but these older SDs are balding and have a beer belly. $500 is not worth it and the SDs who have been around the block know you pay for quality in a SB.

      • Anonymous says:

        Kandy,Kandy, Kandy -“-these older SDs are balding and have a beer belly.”

        Stereotypes only ,just like “all women over 35 are fat washed up Bitches”

        I ,for one -like many of my colleagues on the blog , am 60s, trim and muscular, full head of beautiful brown hair, and able to converse about more than Taylor Swift’s latest heartbreak.

        Sure ,if a man your Father’s age grosses you out then you have no business Sugaring over your top age limit ,but you will limit your options . I limit my choices to 1)under 30 2) slim ,and 3) educated and have no problem finding SBs to pretend to like me .Would you qualify for those three items ? Some probably actually enjoy my company . At least at orgasm time(s) they seem to or fake it well. Evolving Vaginal lubrication can not be faked though.

  135. FunDude says:


    Bravo on the comment about the cum dumpsters. Very accurate assessment about the women in their 20s and wasted potential.

    It goes without saying that the avg Western woman wastes her 20s getting fucked and chucked by bad boys. When she his post wall, she then looks for beta bucks (“nice guy”) to screw over in “marriage”.

    • Promise says:

      Does that make women like me above or below average in your opinion?

    • Elaine says:

      Hey @NotSoFunDude

      You forgot to call @Flyboy by his given name @Flygirl!
      As he is a beta, remember?

      Or at least that is what you always tell us when he is writing things you DON’T find “accurate”! 😉

      Short of memory…or just inconsistency?

  136. Jaybird923 says:

    I found this on a review site about SA:

    There’s a lot of “noise” on this site, it is true: fake profiles, escorts, girls who aren’t really serious, and ladies who demand $5000/month and think they’re going to get it LOL.

    The trick here is just be patient! It’s a numbers game. I took time to write a good profile and post appealing photos, and message only the most attractive ladies who are “negotiable” on price or at most want $3000/month. In seven weeks, I’ve met numerous women and had a lot of fun. Since I still have kids at home half the time, I explain up front that a monthly allowance isn’t practical, so with a little coaxing, most of the girls accept a per-visit payment.

    $500 per visit seems to be the going rate. This is much better than an escort, because for $500 you will only get an hour with the hottest escorts and at most two hours with average looking escorts. But on SA, $500 will give you an entire day or a half day including overnight.

    That’s not what I’m really after, ultimately – I’m looking for a steady sugar baby with real affection and intimacy developing. But in time, I will find such a girl. And along the way, I’ll keep having barrels of fun! For a 56 year old divorced man, this is paradise.

    • Anonymous says:

      Sure that is ‘not’ what he is after. That is why he is contradicting himself. So sad that the girls accepting that do not know what many of these losers really r about which is saving money on escorts. They are not sugar daddies but bargain shopping johns.

    • Hobbyist says:

      I disagree escorts are more expensive. I have much experience in escorts. The cost of SBs can add up. These SBs are worse than escorts! I have had some escorts where we spent time off the clock (no charge!). SBs want lifestyles that takes decades of hard work to obtain. Most are not realistic. They are not here to go on a date per se. I see them pretending to be better than escorts but in reality they are not.

  137. Anonymous says:

    “pair me up” Horrible idea.

  138. Sarah_Rose says:

    I understand opening up to someone you barely know could be tough, but as a SB, I want my SD to open up to me. I should be his “escape.” I don’t ever want him to hold back on any aspect. I’m here for whatever you need me to be here for, and I make sure they understand this, my trust, and my discretion.

    • THEATLSD says:

      Sarah rose
      Good attitude.
      Interesting profile but that disclaimer thing at the end does nothing to protect you.

      Do you ever come to The ATL for Dragoncon?

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      I agree Sarah, I want to know the SB and I want her to know me. But again chemistry will dictate, if all I am getting is one word responses and a series of “A hah, lol” then I am unlikely to say much at all.

    • Anonymous says:

      @Sarah_Rose: You have to realize that many potential SD’s NEED to be discreet, whether they are married, in a relationship, or just single. You have to give your SD room to open up at his own pace. If you try to force it, things will go in the wrong direction rapidly.

      I currently have a SB who, honestly, I know LITTLE about outside of “our” time. She is 25 (I am mid-50’s), Korean, and I think just wants to keep her “real” life very separate. She knows I’m married, and although she says she lives with cousins, I still have a feeling she is married. Some chance of it. I don’t care — we have a very nice time together and that’s all that matters to me.

      • Sarah_Rose says:

        And I understand this. I would never force it. I care for my SDs very much, and I would want them to know that they are safe, I can be trusted, and I am here for whatever they need me for. I’m not asking them to talk about their home or work life, but just to be real and in the moment. I’m not a fuck “like rabbits and leave the envelope on the counter” type of girl (as one user mentioned, lol. Though, if that’s truly what he wanted and it was worth it to me, I’m sure I’d be down for it too.

  139. Anonymous says:

    Since the new blog format came along the activity has plummeted.

    “Pair me up” sounds retarded and I would not do it . I like cherry picking from a menu and approaching them myself . If the aim is to eliminate men with SOs then that is the way to go . After AM nobody in their right mind will allow a picture or a credit card id to be out in the ethernet.

    Speaking of AM ,is the hacker sleeping with the fishes yet ? I wonder if we will ever know ?

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      I don’t have a SO and even I wouldn’t join it. I like having the freedom to choose my own as well and chat to many along the way. Pair Me Up would be some staff member connecting the next available SB with the closest SD and nothing else.

    • Anonymous says:

      What is an SO?

  140. Natasha says:

    I think most of the men on here are cowards! All i am going to say..

    • Bruce Wayne says:

      How many men from here have you met or chatted offline with?

    • Sarah_Rose says:

      Many do appear to seem guilty after a few messages or the initial meeting. SDs, be sure to know your intent and what you are wanting!

    • Bud says:

      What makes them cowards?

      If it’s the fact that you’ve been unable to find someone to commit to you, ‘cowardice’ on their part doesn’t seem like it passes the reasonable person test.

      Occam’s razor would dictate that you look for simpler explanations.

      Perhaps the biggest mistake I see here that SB’s make is that many of them don’t make sure they bring enough to the table to justify what they’re asking for?

      Seen looooots of SB profiles expecting $5k+ allowances for ‘internet-only’ relationships with women of average looks at best and other silliness.

      If I encounter these types of people, I usually politely try to extricate myself from interacting with them further.

      One time I did use the ‘I don’t know that I’m comfortable with this, sorry’ line on someone who was not taking ‘no’ for an answer.

      This was not cowardice on my part, it was just nexting someone in the simplest, quickest fashion that was least likely to provoke further drama.

      Post a link to your profile, and I’d be happy to give it a look see for you.

      • Anonymous says:

        Bud, I agree – sometimes we men need to tiptoe out of POT relationships. Far too many times I’ve determined after a few emails, or even after meeting for coffee, that the SB is not right for me. They don’t take “no thank you” for an answer. They get belligerent at which point I am glad I’ve been anonymous thus far.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Ahh the old “If a woman doesn’t like a man than there must be something wrong with the man, if a man doesn’t like a woman then there must be something wrong with the men” line.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes u r right about many of them!

  141. swrdsmantx says:

    @ Anonymous: Thank you for your advice and stats! It’s very helpful.

    @ Jaybird923: This is not the account I am paying my membership.

  142. FlyBoy says:

    About “Pair Me Up”; it’s a stupid idea! Simple.

    The “problems” that these sites are meant to solve does not exist except in Wade’s imagination. A wealthy and generous man can easily get his own kit from SA. Heck he can smash pink by the bus load if that is his inclination.

    If Wade were intelligent, which he is most certainly not, he would have used the AM debacle to his advantage. He would have reminded men that there are NO women on the web except on SA. Not “Match”, not “POF”, not “OkC” and most certainly not AM which had only fake women profiles. Only SA has real cows that are willing to meet. Only SA has page after page full of smoke stacks who message you just because you looked at their profile. No other site is like SA, period.

    This state of affairs is normal and mirrors real life. IRL an average man has access to one or two used up cum bags if he is lucky. An exceptional man has choices. However even an exceptional man can increase his choices tremendously by coming to SA. That’s just the nature of the web. A camera buyer can get any gear he wants, at the best prices by shopping on the web. Likewise a capable man can get any pussy he wants on the web and the place to do so is SA.

    On that ladies and gentlemen, there is no doubt.

    Cheers 🙂

    • Elaine says:


      My mother used to teach me that class is something that couldn’t be bought.
      Your choice of words proves her right again.

      Terms as “used up cum bags” and “real cows” when talking about women is not what one expects to hear from a sophisticated, intelligent businessman.

      It is more spoiled nouveau riche level.
      Think; rapper turned multimillionaire.

      “You can get them out of the ghetto, but you can not get the ghetto out of them”
      All the money, expensive cars or jets in the world are not going to change that…

      Cheers 🙂

      • FlyBoy says:

        Relax!! Anyone who is a native speaker of English or at least know it fluently, would instantly realize that I was being intentionally over the top for effect.

        Be that as it may, there is a lot of truisms in what FunDude writes. A 40 y/o like you will go crazy if we merely joke, because that’s not gentlemanly. But I get the nagging feeling that you spent your prime 20s getting fucked up the ass by every loser in town while ignoring the ‘gentlemen’ because they are boring squares.

        Shout out to the Doc!

        Cheers 🙂

      • Elaine says:


        You are wrong.

        Cheers 🙂

      • Elaine says:

        Only thing you are right about is me not being a native English speaker, or even fluent in it.
        It is just one of the languages I use to speak. 🙂

        But I don’t really think it is a matter of me not having understood what you wrote.
        It is not the first time you talk in such a degrading way about women.

        So if it is “only joking” I still think it is bad taste.

      • FlyBoy says:

        Don’t feel bad! I am not a native speaker either. lol

        I used kit, pink, cow and smoke stack to denote women. Certainly these words are common slang, but derogatory, they are not. Yes, they should not be used in a formal setting, but to be offended by them in an informal conversation is absurd.

        “used up cum bag”!! That was very derogatory. I wrote it to emphasize and exaggerate the horror the average man faces these days. That’s it. And at the risk of being pedantic, it is technically true.

        Cheers 🙂

      • Elaine says:


        I don’t know why you and @NotFun always seem to think I am offended by what you write here.

        I am not.
        That is; not personally.
        Just don’t like this degrading tone without reason.
        Not about men.
        Not about women.

        I just find you exposing very bad taste for such an “exceptional man”.
        The “exceptional men” I know would never use such terms, not in any formal or informal settings, neither would they ever use or appreciate slang.

        But maybe it is just me and my “old fashioned” upbringing…
        Positive fact is that this is very much appreciated by exceptional SDs! 🙂

      • FlyBoy says:

        Did you know Elaine that I am 45! So to speak like an old man all the time would be absurd!

        Although I was born and raised in aristocratic environs I am a businessman now. To wit, my linguistic spectrum has to be wide enough to enable me effortless conversion with not only my peers but the floor workers too. Also to claim that the upper classes do not use slang or ‘bad’ words, is to proclaim untruth. I am one of them and I assure you they do.

        Lastly my dear, your quick finger pointing at one word or another as evidence for a lack of culture is revealing. You are the equivalent of a Nouveau riche, you both desperately want to belong. Him by gaudy spending and you by gaudy decorum.

        Cheers 🙂

      • Elaine says:

        Sure @Flyboy.

        I have nothing to add.
        Your words speak for themselves.
        You don’t need me to expose who or what you are.

        After all, it is a blog, so you can be whomever you want dear.

      • FunDude says:


        If you didn’t waste your 20s getting fucked by bad boys, then what happened?

        How come you’re in your 40s on SA?

      • Elaine says:


        “If you didn’t waste your 20s getting fucked by bad boys, then what happened?
        How come you’re in your 40s on SA?”

        1. That’s none of your business.
        2. Just because I can. 🙂

        How come you are not an SD, annoying people on a SA blog? 😉

    • Bill says:

      That is not quite true. I personally know three other dating sites where women outnumber men, and where women will initiate contact. The three are pretty similar to each other, and SA has a different angle. I know a forth, where I think women outnumber men, but I can’t be sure. I have been successful in meeting some wonderful women over the years at all of them and the enjoyable experience is mutual. These days I prefer SA because it is a easier to use, I don’t have to filter through so many women focused on marriage, and open relationships are expected.

      What all of these have in common is that they address what women want, not what men want. Men who can provide what women want can do very well, and the women are very happy. I know three couples who met on those other sites and did marry happily ever after.

      SA is certainly the best if looking for a non-traditional relationship. There are at least three other sites that are just as good for more traditional dating. I’ll never say what they are.

      • FlyBoy says:

        So you know of sites where one can get a post wall, haggard, 32 y/o, former carousel rider who suddenly wants a ‘meaningful’ relationship.

        Also, you know of sites where a slut can find a cuckold to help clean her twat!

        Good for you!!

        Cheers 🙂

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Flyboy Are we being intentionally over the top again?

      • Anonymous says:


        Wow ! I’m seeing some anger here . What is the source of that ? Anyone who’s life is going along swimmingly would not have such a negative slant . Talk to me baby boy

      • FlyBoy says:

        Wow ! I’m seeing some anger here . What is the source of that ? Anyone who’s life is going along swimmingly would not have such a negative slant . Talk to me baby boy

        I fell off the horse last Saturday and broke my wrist! Maybe that’s why I am angry! lol

        In all honesty though; my negative views of, how shall I say it, women who explored their sexuality with many partners, has nothing to do with how my life is going. It has to do with my traditional upbringing and conservative views. Also it has to do with self respect! Yes Virginia, any man who is willing to wife up a slut has no respect for himself or his progeny.

        All that aside, my post was directed at @Beta not at women. His stupid post about other sites that work, but he is not on them because they are focused on what women want … blah blah .. was irritating to read. Yet here he is on SA and probably complaining to the girls about wanting an allowance.

        Furthermore his post is retarded, plain and simple. The reason why SA works is because it’s 100% focused on what women want. An alpha who fucks her good, put her in her place and gives her a credit card to go shopping with, is fantasy shared by EVERY woman on the planet. That’s why SA works.

        Cheers 🙂

      • Jj says:

        Know what comes out of the South end of a North bound fly?!?!!???

    • FunDude says:


      Good analysis on the used up cum bags comment. Very accurate.

    • SBTVC15 says:

      Elaine is right, FB, you’re nowhere near as classy as you think you are. The way you talk about women makes you just another dirtbag with a fat wallet.

  143. swrdsmantx says:

    I am new to the sugar scene but it does not look promising. I met 6 girls in person but only scored with one. Although she was hot, she was lousy in bed. To say she was a dead fish is generous.

    One girl claims to be 21 but only her pictures are 21. She’s more like 31. She was alot heavier in person, at least 20 lbs heavier. Gravity pulling the fat, hanging from her chin, deserves a study in biophysics. I am writing a proposal to the National Science Foundation to study this phenomena.

    There are alot of desperate girls here but they are not worth my money.

    I should keep my money and stay home!

    • Anonymous says:

      You need to screen better. I insist on facetime or skype now before I meet. I am sure I have lost out on some dates, but in the last 6 months, the woman that shows up ALWAYS looks like her pictures. Before that approach, about 1 in 3 looked like their pictures.

      Some interesting stats on the pre-meet Skype request… 100% of the women 21-25 are good with it, about 50% of the women 25-29 are good with it, and about 25% of the women 29+. I suspect the decline in receptiveness with age is a combination of comfort with Skype and false advertising.

      • swrdsmantx says:

        @ Anonymous: Thank you for your advice and stats! It’s very helpful.

        @ Jaybird923: This is not the account I am paying my membership.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      You’re profile says you joined the site August 18, 2015. You are not a premium member which means you didn’t even pay for a month’s membership since it’s September 2,2015. So how exactly have you been able to meet 6 “girls” from this site?

    • Bud says:

      +1 for screening better, can vouch that this works wonders.

      I have a method that seems to work pretty well even on gals who don’t want to connect using Skype that may come in handy for some.

      Basically, after I’ve moved to texting, I ask them to send me a new picture of themselves to add as their contact pic in my phone (make some comment about wanting to be able to recognize them at Starbucks or w/e).

      This almost always gets me a selfie snapped right then and there – its never a high quality photo by any means, but is usually more than enough to guard against the old bait and switch.

      One other thing I look at is how long they’ve been a member here. You can draw your own conclusions in this regard 😉

    • FunDude says:

      Take them out for a FREE coffee date first. Don’t exchange money. Very simple.

      Give them the BOOT if they are worthless.

  144. Eloquence says:

    Way to go Eloquence…the knack to
    Place the blog into mutable silence. So, those were just a fraction of my thoughts and with a tip of my hat and a bow of my head in appreciation for listening, I shall refrain for the duration of….I would say, some time before I become a repeat offender of babble on the blog. Good night to all. It was fun.

  145. Eloquence says:

    There are ways you can safe guard the process and make it flawless. However, I can only imagine that you are more well informed and educated on the matter than I, considering the legal teams, financial influence and broad range of access that has already been exposed to the data that is purged from this site. No different in all reality than google, iCloud, Facebook, etc….

    Everyone becomes enthralled at the instantaneous access to another being and sharing information,
    Willingly, openly and with out thought to the data that is mines behind the scenes. In the same breathe, we are human and aeek out social engagement and validation and adoration. We physically need to be touched and leant an ear as effectively as we need air to breathe. It may be an “emotion” but take the “emotion” away and what are you truly left with but flesh and bones that will wither away to ashes.

  146. Eloquence says:

    @ Cryptic

    Let’s go “old school” here in thought for a moment, shall we? Why, yes we shall, because here I go 😉

    It used to be a matter of your handshake and your word was as good as gold and solidified an arrangemt/agreement/a business deal/a treaty/a parcel of land/your new found wife/ and anything in between. You gave two things: 1.) your word 2.) you shook hands to seal the deal

    As time has progressed, those ideals have fashionably been placed in our “face” to not always turn out the way we antisipated, expected, or were informed the way in which they would be dealt. Fast forward to present day, it still occurs, but often not with someone you know not or has been validated by another with whom you have built some sort of trust factor with, again 2 keywords lacking:

    1.) communication
    2.) trust

  147. Eloquence says:

    Feedback is what you are askin from both sides of the sexual realm at present on the idea of the platform and how to accommodate all parties and t the same time be able to reimburse all parties for good and bad experiences as a consulting fee and time vs labor analogy with all expense invited, no different than any other business operates as a Madame providing a wage for service, correct?

    I am all for the successful SB/SD crowd and ridding us all of the users who make up the Instagram crowd of both sexes. The ones who flaunt conning women for sexual favors and giving them the “finger” and also the wen who raid the men’s wallets while they sleep (based on stories here).

    The idea truly Sounds no different than a radio station paying for a date and a second date if the participants go on air and discuss their impressions than it does to say a dentist refers you to a “specialist” to perform the root canal that happens to be his business partner and it is a win/win scenario.

    Again, has this not been going on for eons in congress? Lol

    Common, someone laugh with here please!!!! 🙂

    • Eloquence says:

      My “laugh with me” was with the utmost respect. I am still desiring several that I let get away. Puuurrrr and shame on me as I blush a rosy red. Sighhhhh.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Is that in regards to the new Arrangement site Jay was talking about?

        I can’t see it working, for a start I wouldn’t like the idea of someone else trying to match me up with someone. I don’t think they will care and will just match people up in a very adhoc manner, again, I am thinking the whole Ashley Madison scam.

  148. Jaybird923 says:

    I told you guys a couple of months ago that SA was purposely making it difficult for people to form matches because Wade was probably going to launch a new and more exclusive site and I was right. It’s called Pair Me Up. All the members have to be verified in order to participate.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      I can’t understand their business model at all. Why would I want to join a more exclusive version of this when this site itself isn’t that great? Look at what has happened to the other SA offshoot projects! They aren’t doing well.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        This one sounds better than SA. Its’s more like a matchmaker service. It’s free for SBs and there is no monthly fee for SDs you only pay a fee once they confirm a date for you.

        And this is the kicker… If you go out on a date with someone that THEY match you with, they will reimburse the SBs up to $100 of expenses incurred. (once again sorry guys) All you have to do is send them proof that you went on the date in the form of a picture or a receipt signed by both parties. Oh and you have fill out a survey telling them how the date went.

        Here’s a link [https://www.pairmeup.com/?utm_source=int&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=PMU_sugarbaby_launch_first_1k&ref=PMU~PMU_sugarbaby_launch_first_1k]

      • Reb. says:

        So… Are they going to pretend PerfectArrangement never existed? Is this different because there won’t be outrageous prices?

      • Amused_SD says:

        Wow. Nope, nope, nope. I’m single. But I’m not going to send a website proof that I went on a date with a SB, signed by both of us.

        Shit. The blackmail potential. Discovery potential in divorce.


      • Reb. says:

        Ok, just watched a video. Once you meet them, you have to verify you met them by taking a selfie with the date! LOL. They will “credit your account with funds to cover any expenses accrued getting ready for the date.”
        What a great way to blackmail married men! ……

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Providing proof isn’t mandatory. It’s only required if the SB wants the $100 reimbursement. If I’m an SD I’d just give her the $100 myself and remove any temptation for her to snap a picture without my consent.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        It’s like SA/Brandon have never heard of Ashley Madison! Nope, in fact I am no longer even interested in joining sites that charge men and not women. Never joined AM but the fact that many profiles were fake just makes me even more militant now.

        I can see Pair Me Up dying fast, for a start $100 is nothing and the women would laugh at that, secondly what makes them think the SB wants to be photographed let alone the SD?! And all these photos are kept by SA?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        The pictures will be used on Instagram. And $100 adds up if she goes on 10 dates a week she just made $1000. Never underestimate the lure of free money for some people.

        *only joking about the Instagram thing… I hope, but who knows with SA :-))

      • Reb. says:

        With the video verification, the real $$$ SDs will not join a site like that. They have too much to lose. An average Joe who doesn’t run a corporation won’t have much to lose if a leak happens. Such a shame.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        That’s a possibility Jay in terms of a SB trying to date as many SD’s as possible, the main problem being will there be enough SD’s who join up? I think it is bad timing given Ashley Madison and also as people found with Perfect Arrangement and What’s Your Price, they will be joining up to have access to the same women that are on SA anyway, and in many instances these women are also on free dating sites such as OKCupid.

        @Reb- I agree, video verification will put many off, again AM scandal. Also what does video verification verify, that one is male and one is female? That doesn’t seem like much to me in terms of paying extra.

    • Anonymous says:

      Many SBs will try to kakeomey from SD as well as SA.

    • Elaine says:

      Whatever happened to Perfect Arrangement?

      Same ending as all the other sites Wade has launched and that have faded out?

    • Sunshine says:

      Seems like it’s a regular dating site with verified? Or do they have allowance categories?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        It’s not like a regular dating site. The way I understand it is they cut out the messaging back and forth.

        1)They send you 5 matches a day

        2)If you see someone you like you select them

        3)They notify the other person that you’re interested

        4)If they like you also they confirm the match

        5) Then the site’s “matchmaker” works with both parties to set up
        a lunch or dinner date

        6)You meet

  149. Teanna says:

    What are some top Sugar Baby messaging mistakes, and what would potential daddies respond to?

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      For me it is text speak, oddly perhaps I find it is women in their mid 30’s and 40’s who use this the most and it doesn’t give a good impression of the person, just looks stupid.

      Then you have the SB’s who will respond after a week or more even if you are right in the middle of a conversation they will just drop off without a word. I find that quite rude and given they are hoping for money it’s laughable really.

      Asking about allowances during the messaging stage is crass as well, I don’t know what I am willing to pay until I meet the woman and see if there is any chemistry, it is much the same as a SD asking the SB if she will have sex with him. It is all theoretical until you meet.

      Not being able to charm or hold a conversation also makes things hard, if all I get is one word messages than what is the point, I know some people don’t communicate well in text but again if we can’t talk here I will assume that we won’t get along in person either.

      Insults is another one. I haven’t had many but one woman I was chatting with said that I was hard to talk to and that she felt like it was a one way conversation. Like most people I give as good as I get, she was giving me one word responses and I was responding in kind. I also laughed as again she wants my money, imagine going in for a job interview and telling the person interviewing you that you don’t like the questions or their tone of voice?!


      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Another thing I hate is when I just get a request to see my private photo, no message, just that. Put some effort into this ladies, you want money after all this is not normal dating. Actually chatted with a woman the other day who was complaining about men on here not putting any effort in.

        I explained to her that as the women want to be paid we expect them to make the effort they are supposed to charm us. Not many women really get that on here at all.

    • Anonymous says:

      When a POT sent me her photo, I replied, “You’re very pretty.”

      Her response, “I know.”


      • cryptic anomaly says:

        LMAO I hate egotists whether they be male or female. Still, I once told a woman she was beautiful on a dating site and she came back at me with a full on Feminazi assault telling me that women are more than their looks etc etc.

        If you can’t flirt on a dating site where can you flirt! Imagine if I said something nasty to her lol.

      • Anonymous says:

        If she got mad for calling her pretty then you should say “You are butt ugly.” She will drop her panties then.

  150. MsWrite says:

    REALLY, DiamondSA? And when posting articles about proper posting, proofread!

    Look Out For Grammar – *attuned

    Mixing Up *Convos (NEVER, EVER use an apostrophe for plurals! EVER! They are strictly for possession, NOT separation!)

    The Away From Desk Dater – *wane

    Don’t Lie – *arisen

    If you are going to chastise others for incorrect writing, make sure YOU write correctly!

    • Anonymous says:

      Grammatic irony. Thanks urban dictionary!

    • Jaybird923 says:

      Actually apostrophes are used for plurals to show possession. It’s placed after the s. This is basic elementary english. If one is going to be so emphatic about something that they write it in capital letters, they should at least double check to make sure they are right before calling someone else out on it publicly.

      But yes she did use the apostrophe incorrectly in this instance. Didn’t some one say things like that isn’t considered grammar but how millennials talk?

  151. Apollo A95 says:

    I think the spelling is pretty important. I hate reading profiles that are like “You $$kno $$wut the deal is” “u spoil me and ill spoil $$ you”. Granted those lines are generally creepy anyways but what it says to me is that you are possibly uneducated. Someone who runs their own business or is an Investor does not type lik dis.
    And if a profile contains “$$” it’s not only weird but so damn tacky..

  152. rembodler says:

    I do not think the blog is completely without a merit. You use as an example an HR manger of a big company having tons of money and hundred of resumes.
    Sometimes the situation is more similar to a small start-up, where hiring one wrong person can be very damaging. And when you are trying to hire the best person your money can buy, or, say, get two good people with one “salary unit”. Yes, you would have to try and impress your prospect as, if she is good, she will be hired elsewhere. True, u can always get someone else, but on SA, as in irl workforce there are ppl who are great, good and terrible. What you want is great for a good price. And that you might need to work at.

    • VitesseSD says:

      “What you want is great for a good price. And that you might need to work at.”

      Ah that’s probably one of the main reasons why I haven’t had issues, as far as allowances go I’ll go higher than most. Every woman on SA has a price I suppose, I’m not trying to be offensive to the ladies, just being pragmatic. With the right allowance I could write half my letters backwards with no adverse effect (and that’s damn hard to do on a computer).

      A larger allowance also means a larger candidate pool (distance is less of a factor), so that doesn’t hurt.

      • Another Anonymous says:

        @ Vitesse

        Sure, but you are obviously in a minority here. Realistically, this is a mass market, vast majority of people here will not take the approach: “No matter what, I can just increase the offer.”

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Vitesse – That is true but paying more doesn’t mean quality. If anything it will just attract more Tumbler style SB’s. I don’t see this as a mass advertisement where you try and attract a large amount of customers. It is more about attracting the right women, of course all women may be the right ones for you fair enough but for me I want someone who isn’t going to be carrying on about payment and gifts etc all the time.

        So yes, I take care of her well but I do like her to appreciate and understand that as well rather than a self entitled bitch.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        It’s bit like Ebay in a sense. On Ebay you can win any auction by bidding far more than what the product is worth and more than others are willing to pay.

        But that is silly as there will be another product just like it on auction tomorrow and will go for less.

  153. Anonymous says:

    My profile has a detailed description of what I am seeking (including allowance and expectation of intimacy). I despise getting an email that says “what are you looking for” – it seems like the SB is just going through her emails and sending that to everyone — not even bothering to read profiles.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Sometimes people state what they are looking for but don’t state everything or are open to other things. I know it can be annoying but I see it as an ice breaker question.

  154. N/A says:

    Can we also add “Hey, how are you?” (as the complete message) to the list? Nothing particularly creative about “You have a lovely smile” but boy does that stand out among the rest.

    • Anonymous says:

      I send the message “Hello! I like your profile. How are you?” I get about a 60 percent response rate, but my profile has a lot of information about me and what I am looking for (along with a picture).

      I might lose out on a few SBs with a short message, but I feel it forces them to read my profile, and I will see if they are interested in a conversation. Different approaches for different people I suppose.

      • Anonymous says:

        That sounds like a terrible approach. I am sure you’d get better than a 60% response rate if you opened with a better message — one that shows that you at least read the profile.

        Your message doesn’t “see” if they have read your profile — it shows that you haven’t read theirs.

      • Anonymous says:

        works for me so I don’t see why you would say it is terrible. If an introductory “hello” and a well written profile isn’t sufficient for the SB, then we likely aren’t a match anyway.

  155. Kel says:

    My favorite profile

    “I’m a freak in the sheets and a lady on the streets. I’m 18 years old and I just wanna have as much fun as I possibly (and legally) can. Lol!
    I want someone who don’t want emotional ties and can enjoy a woman with an intellect. Unfortunately I’m in dire straits and will do just about anything 😉 to earn an honest dollar. I want nothing but TLC ( That Long [email protected]#k) 😉 I’m a total nympho! If ur not up for 3 times minimum in one day…I’m sorry daddy! 😉
    Oh and disclaimer…..U have to come to me cuz I’m on house arrest.”

  156. VitesseSD says:

    Ignoring the obvious.

    Anyone mind if I’m the one to point out the irony that SA is ignoring that in this setting it’s really not the SDs who need to be working hard to make a good impression?

    The absurdity of this article quickly becomes apparent if you looked at this as any other employment situation. SA essentially wrote an article explaining what an employer should be doing to try to impress job applicants.

    Can anybody here really say they worry about grammar when hiring someone? If someone didn’t want a job because I sent a text saying “u r hired :)”, well they can shove it.

    I’m not even going to touch the self-contradictory “Don’t overwhelm them with the full, in-living-color version of yourself” and “Don’t Lie”. If cursing or being aggressive is a core part of a SD, hiding it is a lie, and it will come out.

    If you don’t want an aggressive SD, best of luck to you, good luck finding that unicorn. Nobody ever became successful by seeing something, then saying “that’s what I want, I’m not going to go for it.”

    • AffairOfTheHeart says:

      But sugar babies reject sugar daddies every day!

      • VitesseSD says:

        That made me chuckle.

      • karenina20anna says:

        When a POT sends me “u have other pix?” as a first message, how can I not reject?
        Also I’ve seen men putting “we both know what we want” on their profile, and then writing “hi, what r u looking for on SA? kiis”, as if the POT doesn’t understand why girls make a profile in the first place.

      • VitesseSD says:


        In all fairness your profile does not show your face, that would be anyone’s first question.

      • Anonymous says:

        Sugar babies and daddies reject each other. The main difference is that the SB’s have to lower their standards more than the SD’s if they want an arrangement.

      • Joey says:


        A few points.

        1. What you want based on your profile is a bit unusual. I would ask more specific questions about what you want. (For example, you make it clear you will not take your clothes off on the first date. Do you expect an allowance on your first date, beyond your travel costs?)

        2. Actually, there is a fair bit of variety among the women I have met here, ranging from hourly rates to “nice girls” looking for rich boyfriends.

        3. You actually have a pretty nice profile – if I lived in Belgium I would definitely want to have a chat with you.

      • karenina20anna says:


        Most SD pics are cropped, blurred, outdated or simply missing. Why would I bother to risk my privacy, if SDs keep their own faces private? I am willing to exchange pictures if I feel I can trust a person, that’s how I protect myself from scams. If one is interested to see my face, he is free to send me a message and we’ll set up a skype call or a meeting over drinks. I’d rather answer loads of genuine questions than give away my self-respect via a profile/private pic. A relationship isn’t about looks only, IMHO.


        Thanks. I indeed expect to receive questions and reactions, that’s a first signal that a SD is interested. Later, if chemistry is present, any agreement can be made by e-mail or face to face.

        Really, I can tell you that girls join the bowl for the benefits. Serious relationships usually aren’t built on basis of economic agreements. And the ways to get these benefits are different with every girl you meet on Sugar sites. Similarly, salty men try to benefit from SBs in the cheapest way possible (eg. bargaining or not giving an allowance at all). People scam online, just as IRL.

      • Joey says:


        It goes both ways. Some girls have pretty unreasonable expectations (ie. “Let’s meet for dinner to see if we like each other. I expect $200 for showing up.”)

    • lovelynyours says:

      I know several people who pass on people with resumes with grammatical/spelling issues, as well as teams who pass on candidates with said issues in their emails and written correspondence. It happens. Often. Less often, but still occurring, are candidates who pass on managers/teams that don’t seem very bright – one indicator is written correspondence.

      There are plenty of SDs who have enough social grace to know when aggression is appropriate and when you might catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Those who can’t tell the difference surely must struggle in any social situation, let alone sugar. Women like a man who goes after what he wants, but there are sizably fewer women who like a man who acts like an ass to try to get it. You’d be appalled at the things some men say.

      The notion that an SD doesn’t have to make a positive impression is a myth. Should you be doing backflips to do so? No – but to assume that all, or even most, SBs will jump at the chance to be with a guy no matter how horrid his personality is, just because he has money, is a terrible mistake. In sugar, assholes only attract the bottom of the barrel, the psychologically damaged, and the financially desperate.

      Just as is the case with employment, interviews are a two-way street. The firm has to select the best candidate for the job, but that great candidate may also have other interested firms. It’s therefore also the responsibility of the firm’s team to behave in a way that’ll keep them at or near the top of the candidate’s list. You can talk about SD to SB ratios all you’d like, but the reality is that regardless of whether it’s 1:8 or 1:4, a top “candidate” is much more likely to also have interest from more than one “firm” than a mediocre candidate is. And there’s really no way to know what the deal is on that for certain. Impressions still matter, on both sides.

      I agree with you, however, that it’s ridiculous to tell anyone that they shouldn’t be true to who they are and give the full version of themselves before meeting. I don’t know why they’d put that there.

      • VitesseSD says:

        While I can see why obvious spelling mistakes could be a red flag for a SB, grammar is something else entirely. I am the king of run on sentences, and always have been (my English teachers hated me). That said, go read a text book, a scientific journal, or even a novel, and the odds are that it will be full of grammatical errors (including run on sentences).

        The only people hung up on grammar are the types who were english majors. Frankly they write nothing of importance. If something is clear, and to the point it is well written. English majors be damned.

        Not to mention, not all of us learned english as our first language.

      • Anonymous says:

        Are you an Indian man?

      • VitesseSD says:

        Go run my name through google translate for a hint.

      • Anonymous says:

        A shame about Jules Bianchi. He was so cute too.

  157. Jj says:

    Yes, this definitely works both ways, but in my experience, I have yet to meet ‘one’ of the “mystical” Pot SB who even attempts to parlay the type of positive behaviors alluded to here. All are enamored by the “bullshyiet” marketing of just because you’re female, it’s all for you “baby”!

    • DowntownLASD says:

      And yet, SA’s SD/SB ratio is so heavily weighted toward SDs it’s a joke to think that SBs have any control at all. There are always SDs who are submissive and who crave what one SD I read on Twitter referred to as “wallet rape,” but they’re probably in the minority.

      • Jj says:

        Actually there are very likely way more attempts to “rape and pillaging” than not. Had one Pot looking to “whore” my wallet as it was there for the taking!!!

  158. Dimples_24 says:

    I hate the “away from the desk” guys!

    Side note: can someone take a look at my profile and let me know if it looks okay?

    • VitesseSD says:

      There’s nothing glaringly bad about your profile.

    • Kenneth says:

      The only part of your profile that you should consider changing is where you discuss what ethnicity you are seeking in a man: “What I look for in a man: preferably white (But I’m open to other races).”
      If you are indeed open to all races then just say that. Why mention your preference for a white male? Makes you sound racist. Imagine a SD wrote that same sentence in reference to the SB he is seeking. Although he would have in parenthesis that he is open to all races; the fact that he lead with his preference being a white female means he is probably extremely unlikely to choose someone of another race. He only added that to not be seen as the racist he is.
      Other than that criticism you have a very well thought out profile. I like it very much. Have a blessed day my darling.


      • Jaybird923 says:

        SDs do that all the time state a preference and then say they are open to other races. I think that makes you racist.Everyone has a preference. But I do agree with you that if you are indeed open you shouldn’t specify race in your profile.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        edit: I don’t think that makes you racist Is what that sentence should say

  159. DowntownLASD says:

    In light of the paragraph about drafting messages in Word or Google Docs to make sure errors are rooted out, perhaps this writer ought to have done the same. In that same paragraph the writer should have used “attuned” as in past tense. And in the paragraph about taking too long to respond, the potential SB’s interest is going to “wane,” not “wain.” Unfortunate errors.

    That being said, I agree with most of this. Participants on both sides should do their best to communicate accurately and effectively. Since most of the SBs I have dealt with over the years prefer texting to talking, it adds a challenge to convey context and intent properly over a text, because tone of voice can say much more than characters (and emojis) in a text. In the past, I’ve even spelled it out when texting, “this is an attempt at sarcasm, please don’t take me literally.” Better to do that up front and appear silly than after the words are out and you get a “WTF are you saying?” in response.

  160. Reb says:

    Yup, just confirmed that a guy I was at a party with this weekend with my SD actually messaged me on SA in the past. I thought something was fishy because his date said she wasn’t local. It was an odd pairing because his date looked beat, like she used hard drugs and her stomach protruded like she was pregnant, but she was drinking with everyone else. Thankfully, I don’t show my face on the site, so I doubt he recognized me.

  161. Reb says:

    “If the user has already answered your question, and all it takes is scrolling the page up to a previous conversation, then you will clearly look like someone who is inattentive.”
    That reminds me when guys ask what I am looking for. My profile describes everything in full.

    • VitesseSD says:

      I suppose you’ve never asked someone a question you knew the answer to, or wanted to know more about? Small talk and all that.

      Consider how you’d react if someone said, “Oh, no need to ask you any questions or talk to you, your profile covers everything.”

      People talk about the weather, but not because they don’t know what it is.

  162. Elaine says:

    Shouldn’t the headline be: “Sugar messaging mistakes”?

    I think all points covered would count both ways, has nothing to do with being male or female!

    • lovelynyours says:

      I think they do go both ways to some extent. Though a lot of blog posts, I’ve found, can usually go both ways despite being addressed just to SBs or just to SDs.

  163. rembodler says: