4 years ago
50 Shades of Sugar With SeekingArrangement


SeekingArrangement goes Fifty Shades Darker

If you’re anything like us, the release of “50 Shades Darker” has pushed your imagination into overdrive. Could anything be better than an attractive, unbelievably wealthy bachelor fulfilling your every wish (both in and out of the bedroom!)?

During the first installment of the “50 Shades” trilogy, you may have noticed some of the similarities between the “50 Shades of Grey” version of the Dom/sub relationship and the traditional Sugar Relationship. When Christian Grey demands that protagonist Anastasia Steele accepts any and all gifts that he chose to lavish upon her or insisted on replacing her old car with an expensive luxury ride, we swooned with envy. Does Christian Grey even realize that with his proclivity for contracts and negotiation he could have easily found a Sugar Baby to happily consent to privacy and contract in exchange for Louboutins and the occasional Maserati? In fact, SeekingArrangement even wrote a blog about the 15 Lessons from 50 Shades for the Sugar Baby Lifestyle.

Sugar Babies are a smart, business savvy breed, way more comfortable than mousy Anastasia in negotiating high-value arrangements with billionaires. But before you dive head first into the deep, dark world of BDSM within the SugarBowl, we at SeekingArrangement.com wanted to put forth a bit of sage advice to make sure you don’t get in over your head.


BDSM in the Bowl

Does BDSM exist in the Sugar Bowl?

Yes! Kinksters live in the Sugar Bowl too. As a decidedly small niche within the Sugar community, finding the perfect Dom within the bowl will probably take more time than your average sugar search. Instead of tailoring your profile strictly towards this small niche interest, we’d recommend leaving hints in your profile that you’re interested in exploring this type of relationship dynamic. A Sugar baby who “loves catering to the interests of her partners” might be of interest to all types of Sugar Daddy while subtly hinting to Daddies of kink that this might be an interesting relationship to explore.

For more on BDSM in the bowl check out our video discussing Fifty Shades of Grey!

A Sliding Scale

As with all interests, each individual will enjoy different aspects of Dom/sub or BDSM relationships. Many kinksters agree that the relationship portrayed in the “50 Shades” trilogy does not accurately represent the attitudes of many within the BDSM community. Everyone is different – make sure you do your research and learn the terminology! Research can help you to determine the type of relationship you’d like to create and is helpful when negotiating that type of relationship with a partner. As in all relationships, it is paramount to only engage in arrangements where mutual trust exists- especially when exploring new relationship dynamics for the first time!

Safe Words

When discussing power dynamic exchanges within relationships, safety and trust should be emphasized above all else! Sugar baby subs must remember that in all relationship types (vanilla, sugar, or Dom/sub sugar) they have the power to re-negotiate the terms of the relationship at any time or to leave the relationship at any time. This power dynamic is true (or should be true) for all involved members and in all types of relationships, but is especially important to keep in mind when a power exchange is a part of the relationship dynamic.

Would you explore a Dom/sub relationship inside or outside of the Sugar Bowl?


184 Responses to “50 Shades of Sugar With SeekingArrangement”

  1. guest says:

    LOL at all the new SB’s on this site not looking for anything sexual or romantic. This new group only wants friendship and in some cases does not want to meet in person and only wants to chat online or send pics/videos. If any of you are reading this, YOU ARE ON THE WRONG SITE. This isn’t Seekingfriendship.com. There is not a single man on here looking to pay you to be his friend and chat with you online. And why would someone pay you for pics and vids when there’s tons of free porn online? Men don’t pay for platonic relationships.

  2. Chris says:

    OMG, the actual quality of girls on this site is going downhill FAST. Seems as SA has become famous that it has attracted a lot of young girls that are simply time wasters just wanting to see how many guys contact them. Then there are the ones that aren’t 18 yrs old and lying. Then there are the ones that well let’s be honest here that think they wanted an allowance for doing nothing, lol! Been on here long enough and have had a few REAL SB’s and have spent a lot of time wasted trying to communicate with ones that are useless. I am gone when my membership runs out. This place is really no longer fun or worth its price tag.

  3. Kaydee says:

    I think these “new age” SDs are missing the point. This is not a dating site for your married selves to find a mistress that you can unload on and give her a dinner as some kind of prize. If a young woman is attractive, guarantee she can get any YOUNGER, unattached guy to take her out. SBs tell SDs that young guys are cheap to make them feel good, to stroke ego. LOL. Not only that, you can go out and have fun with a guy your age, not be looked at as a hoochie out with some older man that everyone knows is probably married or “paying you” (the man never gets judged) so if he’s NOT paying you, and you’re just on a dinner, thats just a waste of time. I take my girlfriends out to dinner and they take me out. When we go out, guys pay our drinks and food all night long. When meeting up with an SD, us girls have to do more than put on a BUTTON UP, Khakis, shoes. You guys want top notch and sorry not even the most beautiful woman doesn’t “wake up that way” it cost of beauty is expensive. So if im putting this energy into a man no matter who he is, what age he is, if he is MARRIED and on a site that ALLOWS a person to put a PRICE ON THEIR TIME, then that is what is expected. If not, get off here and go to a real dating site, why even here???

  4. Robert says:

    Hi everyone, I found an SB that seems like a perfect match but her profile shows she hasn’t been active in about 4 months. Would that indicate she’s taken or that she’s thrown in the towel. The latter may be an option because she’s looking for something a little more dignified than what usually goes on. I would like some opinions if I should wait or move along, I’m not in a hurry. Thanks in advance.

  5. guest says:

    24 year olds don’t have $300. Most are little boys with no jobs.

    • jfc says:

      smh….I bought my first house (of many) when I was younger than 24.
      What’s that say about men these days, if they don’t have money or jobs?

  6. Anonymous says:

    It really sounds like you are just making this up in a manner of wishful thinking. First of all, a hot 24yr old guy will probably not have $300 to part with. Second, why should he? Or why should anyone? You are doing a serious disservice to potential sugar babies who will read your post and think it’s true and act on it, thus decreasing their chances of finding a sugar daddy.

  7. Anonymous says:


  8. in Michigan says:


  9. Eva says:

    Amen sister! I completely second your opinion.

  10. GoddessAthena says:

    As a Dominant SB, I can assert that 50 shades is neither a real, nor a healthy representation of BDSM. Now if you boys are interested in letting a gorgeous Goddess take charge of your life & your wallet, I’m sure I can teach you a thing or two about power exchange & the pleasure of serving an experienced Domme Baby. =)

  11. Anonymous says:

    Some woman just want a man to be in charge in the bedroom. I like that…

  12. Ramsses says:


  13. annon says:

    to me it from the comments it seems like only 10% of the guys on here are sugar daddies…most are just guys looking to pay a cheap amount of money for sex….i wish they wouldn’t be on here

    • annon says:

      are not**

      • annon says:

        never mind ..are***

      • anon too says:

        it’s ok babe. I understand. sb here. I wish also, that not only did they(sugardaddywannabe’s) not exist here, but that you find what you need.
        kind regards,
        fellow sugar baby

    • Anonymous says:

      Thing of it is, most of the ladies on here will take a fast buck for sex!

      • Anonymous says:

        maybe most, but not all. Is that not what men are looking for on here anyway? are you complaining lol

    • Chris says:

      And I wish that a lot of you girls pulled your heads out of your asses and understand that if you want money from us men you need get your hands dirty.

    • guest says:

      And most of the women on here aren’t real sugar babies. They want an allowance for hanging out and talking and sending pictures. No man on here is looking to pay someone to hangout and talk.

      • Anonymous says:

        what is the right definition of a sugar baby then?

      • Chris says:

        Thank you. I am amazed by the profiles of girls actually thinking this. Let’s be serious ladies for a minute. You want more money? Either get an education and a degree that actually gets you a good paying job or learn to live on your own income and get over the I’m a princess and entitled to living a certain lifestyle. If not then plan on getting your hands and feet dirty here. I’m not paying you for pictures and certainly not paying you to be my friend and take you to dinner and then drop you off back at your place and leave. Serious this place used to be good and now it’s gone to SHIT!

    • guest says:

      Only about 10% are real sugar babies. Most are immature little girls that want an allowance before meeting or want to be paid to just be a friend. You aren’t mature enough to be on this site if that’s what you think a sugar baby is.

      • Anon says:

        Oh really? So we go ‘all the way’ then end up with a flimsy excuse such as “i’m looking for something more, or i changed my mind…gimme a break!

      • anonymous says:

        Some men do want friendships or eye candy.
        Sugar Baby does not equal sex.
        The men who approach me this way I block and dismiss right away.
        If something developed naturally, that is fine but you shouldn’t go in expecting sex! That is too much pressure to put on her unless she directly tells she is open to that sort of arrangement. If a man doesn’t understand this, then he doesn’t understand women.

  14. Dantheman says:

    We should change this site name to ”seeking allowance”

  15. sb says:

    Where can I learn to be a dominatrix?

    • Anonymous says:

      Dominatrix High

    • Artumus says:

      Fetlife is where you learn about all things BDSM. You can even find classes and people to help personally explain things.

    • Chase says:

      Fetlife is a good place to start. Try Dom Con in LA in May and New Orleans in Novemebrr. They have great classes and the whole thing is very inexpensive. Took my SB last November and we are practicing all kinds of things.

  16. ANON-Help says:

    I don’t ever gift, however, I never expect sex so a nice meal and conversation is good for both. Beside I always travel within 100 miles to them so there are no travel expenses. I’m only here to help someone through a difficult financial time. I will pay bills, rent, buy food, etc but rarely if ever cash. I understand this is the exception. I won’t even look at a profile seeking allowances or luxury items. I figure there are plenty of men out there for them. Some women here just need short term help and a chance to experience things they might otherwise never experience (play, symphony in a fancy dress, amusement park for your child etc). Being a decent, helpful person usually results in a genuine friendship that transcends financial arrangement once the crisis is averted.

  17. Anonymous says:

    BDSM is no love story? BDSM is what people make it… If you want sex and spankings, that’s what you’re gonna get. If you seek deep connections, you have to develop a relationship. Love is not a must in BDSM, neither is SEX!

    • Artumus says:

      I have been in the LS (LifeStyle) for 8+ years and it is a deeper connection that any vanilla relationship by a factor of 10. Can someone abuse it just for sex certainly. I have certainly heard the stories.

  18. FedupAnon says:

    I got banned for BDSM on SA, but they promote it on the blog. Maybe you should tell that to the idiot in support I am suing for libel.

    • C says:

      You were banned for having BDSM related material on SA? How descriptive were you?

      Sorry, but I am just curious 🙂

  19. newbie says:

    Can anyone tell me from their experiences how many of the photos of the really attractive girls are fake. I’m a little less skeptical if they are in their private photos, but I wonder if fake ones are put on the public photos to grab attention.

    • Chris says:

      A lot! There are a lot of the following. Fake profiles and of course fake pics and then there are the underage girls posting on here claiming to be 18-19 yrs old and really only doing this for shits and giggles to see how many of us guys contact them.. SA needs to clean its house up cause the first time some guy get’s busted for hooking up with someone underage believe me the FEDS will shut this place down ASAP! Remember the long arm of the law especially the FEDS will reach out and touch you no matter what country you are hiding in..I have become very fed up with all the fake profiles.

  20. WTF says:

    i think there are genuine ppl on both sides of the fence, sds and sbs , who are seriously looking for this to work but as per their past experiences with those who are just into games and freebies or trying to con the other party messes it all up and has really made this site as per meet site. so as an sd i do try to forget my past bad experience and try to do the right thing and show my intentions to be real and it works and has worked . what do you guys think both sbs and sds ?

  21. Anonymous says:

    A test drive does not give a woman an incentive to get wet, leak, nor be… (What is notary like to discuss here), yet, if. Man learns toward his lady sensitively and his lady has an ear to hear with a mouth closed (unless he opens it with grandur), then…we just found a match made in heaven.

    Both know how to speak silently with their mouths wide open. Lol. Smh. Perfecto!

  22. WTF says:

    true story guys , on contact sb in ny wants allowance to meet and talk and the convo was short lived and ended . she texts me again after 3-4 days asking if i was free to meet up and she is not going to ask for an allowance but instead i will have t do her a favor . the favor was to rent a car under my name and give it to her for the weekend . how dumb can she be , i still dont get it .

    • nekon says:

      yes you right . I believe you . today generation girls very dangerous . one day with you and one day with another man . how can you sure you could live with her . this is because of her you can’t living

    • Anonymous says:

      She needs a car for the weekend to see her boyfriend or some other SD. Simple as that.

    • Anonymous says:

      Their self entitlement and stupidity knows no bounds.

      • boi says:

        you need to stay home and yank off , nobody wants to meet you fgt

      • Anonymous says:

        wtf! self entitlement and stupidity. if your willing to offer money, why shouldn’t they try lmao Dont give them the option to be self entitled and stupid idiot.

    • Anonymous says:

      Maybe you we’re a fuckin asshole and thats why

    • Sbsmh says:

      You have no ideal. Ive been asked for my bank account 90 percent of the time. Launder money hide it from ex. Let me use it for my business. Send me cash cards and or apple cards. Probably to pay for seeking arrangement. Its 70.00 a month for a sd. I know that because i was told. After i was asked to come take partial nudes for a married not looking cheapo. Im sure there are genuine sd on here i just havnt meet one. So maybe a ghost daddy site. There is also no way to cockblock the guys that are 10 years off on age. Say there not married and are. Give you a fake name or are swingers who say there not. I have tried to report a few. The contact us doesnt work. Now there is a annoying free iPhone gift page. You click on a message your redirected to another site.
      Smh in texas
      Ps. There is also no money sd no job at all. Have no intention of paying a sb. Or just want to mentors.

  23. travel says:

    I usually let the SD know if we do meet, I ask that if he feels good about me and feels comfortable moving forward to have $300 ready in an envelope when we say goodbye. If he doesn’t hand me over the envelope, to me that says I am not interested and we part ways. I do not ask for any travel money unless it is super far. Some have instead of money got me concert tickets, gift cards to whole foods/trader joes, and other ways instead of money. It is not uncommon for some men who really want to meet with you, to offer which is great and shows me he understands how this works. Remember any guy can take us out for drinks and dinner. Why should we give the older guys a chance? We can be with hot young 20 somethings but we go the extra mile to make sure we make the best first impression. Hair, nails, makeup, skin, and clothes all add up. I always make sure I look amazing and smell good. But it shouldn’t be a bad thing if he wants to help. Why not..

    • Anonymous says:

      LOL Well I guarantee you the “hot 20 something” won’t fen pay for dinner. Us older guys will pay for dinner, open the door for you and be respectful.mthat being said I don’t think you are being unreasonable with your criteria!

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes hot 20 something with the maturity level of a junior high boy. Nothing hot about immaturity.

    • Chase says:

      If you think that hot 20 something really knows how to please a woman you are just ignorant. I have been studying and practicing how to please women for five times longer than he has known what to do with his penis other than pee. I know what they make and can afford, they work for my companies. Many still have not learned table manners, how to be a gentleman or how really to treat a lady. If all you want is rutting get a dog. They will curl up on the bed and keep your feet warm afterwards.

  24. Anonymous says:

    i suggest you go to local parties and clubs (found on local community boards), check it out to see if that’s your thing. I perform a basic spanking show for a club once a month and it never ceases to amaze me how many men and women actually like someone to take charge. But again, I wouldn’t feel safe advertising so publicly with all the clowns and crazies on here. I’d start at local clubs if you are serious.

  25. Miss Sydney says:

    Hmmmm. Well I think I will just echo what others have said and say that BDSM and 50 Shades are not conducive in the least. Not all kinksters are that way because of abuse, nor do we abuse our submissives(I am speaking as a Dominatrix). Most BDSM is about power exchange, not just spanking and orgasms, but that too can be a part of it. BDSM requires a lot of consent and communication before any type of play happens, and in all honesty, kinksters love that part because most of us are sapiosexual and need our brain stroked to truly get off. I have been dominant my entire life and cannot imagine being any other way. I do it because I love the feeling of power it gives me, but I live it 24/7 and I don’t play unless I am guaranteed to get turned on, because life is too short not to be turned on. BDSM os extremely nuanced and you cannot really fake it. However, you can do light play that is not considered mainstream or vanilla and most people are fine with that… I am in love with the long time heavy players, cause I know what I want and I will get it..

  26. Anonymous says:

    An SB should be gracious and nice to be around. If all I am hearing is “me, me, me. I am a Princess” than I will move on quickly and she will be stuck with the SD’s who pay $100 per meet.

    • Anonymous says:

      I can get a 20yr old with a nice body to give me $300. its not as hard as you think to get money off of nice looking young men as many think

    • ick says:

      If he is paying $100 per meet, that isn’t a sugar daddy.

    • Amused says:

      What if it is an ugly chick and that is all she can get? All or nothing is it? What about the average chick that wants $5000? Stupid on both polar ends I say.

    • AnonSD says:

      The ladies who list high or substantial are ridiculous. They need to join the workforce and find out how hard it is to earn that. I don’t even look at profiles that list that, they are out of touch with reality.

    • Mark C says:

      “I can get a 20yo with a nice body to give me $300” Seriously, that would make you a hooker, not a sugar baby.

    • guest says:

      20 years old don’t have money or a job.

  27. Anonymous says:

    ok curious , any one has an ongoing platonic relationship ? i dont mean couple of meetings i meant is ongoing for 3 plus months. it will be fun to hear from both sds and sbs.

    • Anonymous says:

      Tons of women have “ongoing platonic arrangements” and will be more than willing to tell you about them. After all, everything you read on the internet is true…right?

    • Mark C says:

      The notion of a “platonic” relationship is silly. Why in the world would a guy ever pay a sugar baby to be his friend? Well, I’ll tell you. If he has no friends and is impotent. That’s your target. Problem is that most men that have enough disposable income to be willing to give it to a stranger most likely already have friends. Good luck and have fun with that 🙂

    • Anon says:

      Yes, but only because I have been sectioned due to mental illness. Man I am crazy!!!!

    • AnonSD says:

      Platonic with an allowance? Not even.

      • Truth says:

        Men Stupid enough to pay 10k allowance, are then also stupid enough to go platonic. Oh, wait, stupid men rarely have 10k so never mind.

      • Sbsmh says:

        The average sb made 60 grand a year in 2013. Lol or 20 percent. Considering i had a sd ask me to call a sb that stole 6531.00 he had deposited in her bank. I think having a honest smart sb would be a blessing worth? Priceless

    • word says:

      Yup, it happens…because most men over 60 cannot get it up, especially with a condom.

  28. Anonymous says:

    Not only is 50 Shades of Gray a very inaccurate portrayal of the BDSM community, but the creator of this post does not seem to realize that the Woman can be the Dominant one in the relationship also. Many high achieving men actually enjoy the freedom and release that submission allows them. As a side note, any Dominant who treats their submissive the way it is portrayed in the movie is abusive and should be avoided.

    • Anonymous says:

      I agree with you, my BDSM relationship is nothing like thatand it kind of weirds me out, I wouldn’t want a DOM like that. I love my Dd/lg dynamic, and the exchange of power and submission is amazing. Its hard to adult sometimes and my DOM helps me release all of my stress.

    • Anonymous says:

      Absolutely true!!!

      I skip every SB that talks about wanting to be dominated. Is she paying me to do this??? Maybe then I’ll do it.

      Otherwise, I’ll happily pay SBs to take charge and make me the financial victim, thank you. Absolutely no interest in bringing my work (dominating people) home with me.

      Yes, I do that with someone I love who wants to be dominated, but with a SB I’m paying?? Hell no!

  29. Anonymous says:

    I have no idea why this is even here. Jenn…the Fetlife rejected it? Oh. Sorry.

  30. peacebabyy says:

    To “Anonymous” “I am not against helping a sb out for her travel expenses to come for meet and greet specially and young college student with no job . But to expect an allowance to have lunch or dinner is the part i have problem with. but i guess every one is different and have different ideas and thinking.” I agree with you. A simple meet and greet shouldn’t cost anything but travel expenses and dinner.

    • Anonymous says:

      ty peacebaby i think so cos i agree the other side as well that it is just M&G and if the girl doesnt want to go any further and not go to a room that is totally fine as well , all that can be talked about at that meet for future meetings .

      • Anon says:

        Some readers may assume most pot-sugar babies either have a car or are in a situation they can control enough to plan.

        Points for showing up on time, regardless.

      • Anon says:

        Uh how about her time is precious to her and maybe she thought u were a loser that didn’t deserve her time and SHOULD BE paying for it

      • Anonymous says:

        @anon – your ” Uh how about her time is precious to her and maybe she thought u were a loser that didn’t deserve her time and SHOULD BE paying for it
        Fuckingfullofurself ” statement, i completely agree with you. Why should i give MY time for an older dude i have no interest in? I should be recieving an allowance when i could be doing something better or talking to someone my age.

  31. M1ssPond says:

    The relationship portrayed in shades of grey is abusive and not a healthy BDSM relationship. I try to separate being a sugar babe and a sub as best as possible because I found that both relationships have very complex dynamics that i don´t want to mix up.

  32. AnonSB says:

    I wish! Daddies always expect us to be perfect subs the first week.. The perfect d/s relationship comes with time, trust and communication! Then it’s ECSTACY! <3 <3

  33. DominantGermanGirl90 says:

    50 Shades of Grey has NOTHING to do with BDSM! I have been a (private) domme for some years now, so I know what I’m talking about. Those movies are CRAP.

  34. anonymous says:

    Interesting comments. My personal habit is to try to find out a few things about the potential SB before meeting through conversation. If I’m interested in meeting, I offer to gift her at least $300 to meet at a public place for lunch or dinner.

    I let her know that it is JUST a meet and greet and that we will both go our separate ways afterwards. I also tell her that there are definitely not any guarantees as to an arrangement, because I feel that there has to be a two-way spark for it to work for me.

    Anyways, that’s what works for me.

    • Olderwannabe says:

      Your way of doing it sounds great. I, being on the female side,prefer a man who is straight forward.

    • dc/boca says:

      you are the problem , giving sb $$ just to meet. that kind of behavior encourages women to ask for $$ just for meeting.

      • anonymous says:

        First, I take some time to vet the potential SB to be sure that she is someone that I have a potential interest in. This is done with conversation and maybe the exchange of more pictures.

        Maybe it’s because we are looking for different things. I want to meet someone that I actually have respect for and can treat like a companion – not a sexual object. This potential SB’s time is valuable to her, and I’m asking her to go out of her way to meet me. I think that she should be reimbursed for that – her travel and her time.

        Have I been “rinsed” as one person replied? Absolutely! It happened once. Will it happen again? Maybe. But, I’ve met three wonderful people who I spent three wonderful years with. I might just call that priceless.

      • baha says:

        ba ha, look at you hating on someone for the gentleman’s generosity. That’s one good way for him to get her attention though.

      • Steve says:

        The guy is a fool if he’s paying anything for a M G

      • Allen says:

        Best advice – filter all SBs that can contact you to at least have “SOME COLLEGE”. More times than not, they are nothing but psychotic strippers or manic depressed crazies that may eventually land you in jail b/c they are scum and scum brings everyone else down, or the best is you have a very bad experience. Don’t ever meet someone who hasn’t tried to go to college. You are asking for serious trouble. These bimbos also have no concept of money and ask stupid amount wasting your time and their time. FILTERS FILTERS FILTERS.

        GHOST every SB that is a freak, catfishes, or whatever. Never reengage. They will go away eventually.

      • Nonymously says:

        A young, broke college student has no valuable time off campus. There’s absolutely no reason to pay her even a dime for a first time M&G, except for maybe travel costs.

    • AnonSB says:

      I wish more daddies thought like you!

    • anon says:

      Where are all the SDs like you? One of the reasons why I prefer gift on a m&g is because it’s taking time out of my schedule to do it. Unlike these affluent men, when time is money for me I can’t wave it away like a pesky mosquito. What is trivial to them might be important to me so having something to make up for whatever I moved to the side to be at that initial meeting is important. I’m ok with it not having worked out, at least I got something to make up for any time/money lost.

      • Anonymous says:

        If you are that busy than you probably shouldn’t be doing this. I avoid profiles that have that info and women who keep talking about how busy they are.

      • Anonymous says:

        Are you saying that the SD’s time is of no value or that the SD should shrug the cost off then?

        I avoid any profiles that demand a gift. However, as a gentleman I believe in always reimbursing the lady for her time. I just don’t like it being demanded. On the flip side, what if I demanded a “test drive”?

      • Anonymous says:

        “One of the reasons why I prefer gift on a m&g is because it’s taking time out of my schedule to do it. ”

        Ok… so your time is more valuable than the SDs??? How much are you making an hour relative to him?

    • The Masked SD says:

      SD’s like you make it harder for the rest of us. You must burn a lot of money for no result.

      • Anonymous says:

        no he doesn’t make it harder for the rest of us i don’t agree with paying for a meet and greet and it says on SA no sex or money to be exchanged on the first meeting there are fewer rich men than sugar babies on this site so there should be no problem finding someone to meet the first time for free but having said that gifts and travel money to offset the cost of getting to you is customary

      • Anomynous says:

        SD’s like you are why SB’s know they can out-negotiate wanna be sd’s.

      • Anonymous says:

        No it’s not customary. If she can”t afford to even get there than that is not my problem. She wants the money, she has to show some commitment and invest a little.

      • Anonymous says:

        If by out negotiate you mean I move on and the SB is left with the $100 ppm offers than you are certainly correct. I really do feel cheated when I stick to my guns and walk away from entitled brats.

    • btw says:

      How do you know if there is a two-way spark?

    • Rick says:

      If you want to waste $300 to meet a complete stranger, go for it. I prefer to make wiser investments. You seem to think that you’re auditioning for a position, when it’s just the opposite.

      But hey, every man to his own.

    • Anonymous says:

      To the OP: You are every rinser’s dream, my man…

    • Anomynous says:

      There are at least two different ways the poster’s sop works well, though I think most miss everything but the obvious.

      One obvious one is that he could pay the $300 the next morning. It really depends upon the quality of the lady, and there are many ways to filter for quality.

      Rick, why are you still here? SA doesn’t do that.

    • Anonymous says:

      I feel that what you do is a very courteous gesture to the SB you are meeting with. Most people do not consider how much it may have cost the SB to be there. Say that the SB buys a new outfit and then goes to the salon for hair, nails, etc. to look good for the SD she is meeting with. That alone could run up to $300 or more which does not include things like gym memberships, tanning, facials, etc. Props to you for being a proper gentleman.

    • Anonymous says:

      i think you are full of it , in your dreams you probably pay 300 for M&G , get a life mr sd of the year lol

    • Mary says:

      I like to be in something like this I’ve never tryed this and I’m very interested in it but didn’t know how to go about it

    • CG says:

      Wow $300 for a meet and greet is very generous!I am new to this, generally if a SD wants to treat me to a nice meal I appreciate it. Is it normal to expect funds for a meet and greet? How do you ask for it without sounding so needy? Is that the going rate? Thanks

    • bnm says:

      lol you are obviously a female pretending to be a male to encourage guys to be like that lol you are pathetic

      • .yougottabekiddingme says:

        i think it is a female posting as a female.

        It’s one thing to be gifted $300 on a first date, yet another to claim to be entitled to $300 for preparation costs.

        There arent many reason why it should cost $300 to get ready for a date. Unless you are so unkept in the interim that you need a complete overhaul.

        “Hairs, nails, facial, gym membership, tanning, new outfit…”

        It’s a bit ridiculous to factor all of that into the “cost” of a first date.

        You should at least have some key clothing items and a go-to dress in your wardrobe.

        Ive been given generous gifts on first dates without asking or expecting. Attitudes of entitlement as posted above are a bit delusional, exaggerated and undermining, i think.

  35. Anonymous says:

    I had to laugh a little when I read this in the blog post:”Sugar Babies are a smart, business savvy breed”. I’ve found quite the opposite to be true. Most SB’s suffer from a extreme sense of entitlement that overrules everything else.

    • Anonymous says:

      I agree, very few people are going to pay someone to go out on a date, plus the expenses as well. Real SD’s don’t have the time for this, and are better off just sending a check in the mail. It will save them the waist of precious time. This is the reason I have not gone on a date yet, and may never. I’m considering an Escort instead. but I’m still open to this. There is a lot of scammers here on both sides. Maybe it’s just living in a rural area.

    • dc/boca says:


    • AnonSB says:

      Uhh, so do daddies… All I’ve met so far are “be available whenever I want, where I want, how i want, and 200 per meet maybe once a month.” That’s NOT sugaring…

    • Anonymous says:

      Agreed, when I have a meet with a potential client or vendor I do so at my own cost, I don’t expect them to pay me for it. We discuss business, how we want things to work etc. You need to invest some time if you want this to be worth anything. Too many SB’s just want money for nothing and they often pay for that later.

    • Anonymous says:

      Don’t forget they, on average, have absolutely zero sense of financial matters and live hand to mouth, trying to look rich. lol

  36. Anonymous says:

    I am not against helping a sb out for her travel expenses to come for meet and greet specially and young college student with no job . But to expect an allowance to have lunch or dinner is the part i have problem with. but i guess every one is different and have different ideas and thinking.

    • Artful Dodger says:

      I agree completely. I give a gift after a meet and greet, but I don’t agree to an amount up front.

    • Alternatedating says:


      I’m assuming the poster above referencing a 300 allowance for a meet and greet was really a female poster.

      I’m not interested in a meet and greet unless I think an arrangement will work and we have some details figured out. Women who want allowances for lunch meetings or coffee are on here for months because they’re not really interested in a quality arrangement but just to make some money for lunches and coffee.

    • Anonymous says:

      Hello dear, i am Tom, i came across your profile and i’m to know you more if you don’t mind. Text me 24567765. thanks

  37. Anonymous says:

    On BDSM
    I’m a switch, but dom. I’d love to dominate my SD, but I’m more comfortable with female subs. Do you have any suggestions how to set that up so I can get a SD that’s interested in joining more of a duo? How do I put that in my profile?

  38. Anonymous says:

    I went out with this one guy, he wasn’t my type at all. Wasn’t feeling him at all… just chalked it up to a no go. I was really surprised to hear a call back later on that day and even more so to see he’d left some cash for me in my bag when I wasn’t looking. Yep, we started an arrangement that lasted 2 months.
    Honestly, I wouldn’t have given him the time of day if it weren’t for the cash. I didn’t want to see him again, he was a little too hairy and short- but he was too good to me, I couldn’t say no.

  39. Moi says:

    I agree with anonymous’ M & G tip idea. $20-50 gift card or similarly-valued gift is a nice/minimal gesture, which may or may not cover gas. Many of us have to schedule time off for dates, platonic or not. Cali, find a pro dude– “sugar starts when panties drop” sounds like John-speak. Unless you are slinging sugar for panties, in which case, may the panty-gods reign upon you. 😉

  40. Anonymous says:

    Most actually wealthy SDs love to brag about their accomplishments and will give a larger amount than $20. But even if a SD is more prudent and leaves that amount, it’s really the thought that counts. Manners speak to class, and the thoughtfulness, not necessarily amount, speaks volumes about the kind of SD I’m dealing with. In my experience, I’d rather deal with a man I know was raised right and cares about my comfort, than someone who is concerned only about the numbers and sex.
    Im from the South and haven’t met many men who don’t give some kind of present on the first date.

  41. newbie says:

    I’d like a woman’s opinion about the topic of sex. Some profiles say no sex on the first date, which I totally understand. Both parties are meeting to see if there is a connection, assuming the guy isn’t looking for a quick hookup. But beyond that, what would you consider a reasonable number of dates be before sex happens. Is the second date pushing it, or do I follow the 3 date rule? Both parties know after the first meeting if their is some type of connection and an arrangement is a bit different from traditional dating. A female viewpoint would be most helpful. Thanks.

  42. PowerMeow says:

    I have a rule about meet & greets- there’s not a donation required, and presents aren’t expected (though they’re welcome!) …but they do have to be at nice places, and there has to be food involved. I love a well-presented meal, it makes me feel so open and happy. it’s in my gentleman’s best interest to have an open and happy kitten so…their first present to me is luxury food. And if they can’t do that, then I know they aren’t the SD for me.

  43. Imoutofhere says:

    Never gave money, allowance, and met nice women here. Had multiple long term relationship.

    Money to meet? You have to be kidding me! i have to admit that the site has been attracting a lot of escorts, goldiggers , platonic money grabbers and women that lives in a romance novel with high expectations lately Not as easy to find nice women here now…

  44. Anonymous says:

    are there sds out there who pay an allowance for meet and greet? i have talked to sbs who are very clear about no sex on the first date but still expect an allowance.
    some of the sbs even want you to send them some money or help pay a bill even before meeting lol , i dont get it .

    • Annonymous says:

      I sure don’t. What SB’s ask for, and what they get, or should I say, don’t get, are two different things.

      • Vegas Anon says:

        You should search all the so called sb’s from Vegas. Their entitlement is unreal. And according to them, their time is so precious. Every single one of them want to be compensated, even to meet for coffee.

      • Anonymius says:

        Isnt prostitution legal in LV?

        I hope the coffee is cheap.

    • newbie says:

      If they find a sucker to do that for them, more power to them, but let it be someone else. If they don’t come down off their pedestal a rung or two then they can plan on working for Walmart wages instead.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes of course, I certainly do not think I am the only one. During messaging I make sure to state that I will be bringing a gift to the M&G as appreciation for their time, etc. Usually a $100 gift VISA card, which I discreetly place it in her hand without mention it, talking about it or anything, but always brings a smile in her faces. It is my way of showing them I am serious about finding an arrangement that will work for us. This is done regardless if we do not find sufficient or any chemistry during the M&G, and because we do not talk that meeting about the financial terms, I do it again during the 2nd meeting, which is probably lunch or dinner, and it is then when we discuss how many times per month, how many hours, what is expected from both of us, and what allowance is available. BUT, no allowance is ever sent before meeting face-to-face. Even then I have been scammed and rinsed at least four times. So we all have to be watchful, do not ignore the red flags, and very careful.

    • The Masked SD says:

      Will not ever pay for meet and greet. There needs to be a display of commitment on the SB’s part as well or else she can just go around meeting guys saying hi and getting paid for it.

      • Latin SB says:

        Where in the article is mentioned paying for meets and greets? Anyways, it is a courtesy of the SD to REIMBURSE the girl’s expenses to get to him. That is in case she had a long drive/toll, you know. That should be done, and my prev SD did it because he knew that obviously if I have a deplorable economic situation, cannot afford the commute. If SDs are not into this, then they are not giving a good impression.

      • Anonymous says:

        @Latin SB – It is up to the SB to make the good impression. They want my money after all. I can always move on to the next SB.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes, actually. My SDs tip $20-50 at the M&G or bring a present. I’ve been gifted a $25 gift card as well. If you get along with your SD after that he’ll usually give you money for gas if you drive or come pick you up to go out and the more substantial allowance will start when you agree to start arrangement. That’s how it goes for me and my guys.

      • Anonymous says:

        And when I see a married SD, it’s the same thing. I meet in public and get a tip, then if I want to continue, arrangement begins.
        I would strongly caution SBs not to get into the habit of selling pussy. Its such a thin line, but that one gesture is a huge deal.
        The best SDs go out of their way to make sure a SB is comfortable and arrangement feels natural and sexy.
        Besides, if he can’t give $20 for gas, he’s too broke to be my SD.

      • Imoutofhere says:

        20$ for gas? Hahaha what about an incall…does he still have to pay? Lol

      • Anonymous says:

        I would factor the cost of the incall: places where two(or more ;)) can hook up, that should be calculated in allowance once it begins.
        Some SDs pay or SB can get their own place. It should be factored into allowance/gift.
        Manners count. The point of a thoughtful gesture is that it signals I’m dealing with a classy person. Most SDs that are in fact wealthy LOVE to brag about themselves and will leave a lot more. A more prudent gift, still has the power to signal that he’s a man of class though. I don’t judge the amount; it’s actually the thought that counts.
        And yes, here in the south men still put in the effort to treat ladies like ladies.

      • Latin SB says:

        Exactly!! It is a demonstration of the authenticity of the offer and of their generosity. It is their presentation card. Guess all the commenters are flakes, confusing SBs with escorts.

      • Latin SB says:

        Exactly!! it is their presentation card; a glimpse of their generosity and a confirmation of their authenticity.

      • Latin SB says:

        UGH… Imoutofhere, that is not a sugar baby practice. I guess you have been fishing in the wrong pond all this time you have been here.

      • Anonymous says:

        Hello dear, i am Tom, i came across your profile and i’m to know you more if you don’t mind. Text me 24567765. thanks

    • Anonymous says:

      Yeah there are quite a few like that, but that is the Millennial mentality. They truly believe that they are special snowflakes, Hollywood feeds into that, articles like the one above also creates a pretend world, so quite a few are really messed up about money. No serious SB asks for money for just a date, just the ones who don’t know what they are doing.

      That said, you should be prepared to offer something if you find yourself intrigued by the girl. It lets her see that you’re not reluctant to drop some reasonable cash. The best SBs are actually really reasonable and they’re the ones you want to spend on.

      I can’t believe the article actually portrays all SBs on here as business savvy. Most of them have no clue that the market is what determines value.

      • Anonymous says:

        @Latin SB
        That comment has always struck me as curious. At what amount do you consider it sugar and not an escort? I see so many women speak with derogation of those would accept less than what they deign “acceptable”. If she blows me in the parking lot for a hundie is she a hooker? If I buy her a car does that make her a sugar baby?

        Personally, I think the difference is not sex but the fact that there is some sort of ongoing relationship.

    • Christina says:

      I don’t do sex on the first date with anyone. I think the reason SB’s ask for a gift or money on the first date is to see if you are genuine and not just full of bullcrap.

      • Rick says:

        I think spending $100+ on her lunch should give an indication of genuine or not.

      • kaka says:

        You know.

        If you are a real sugar daddy as what this site is for:
        You would not call a 100 dollar meal a relevant gift.;
        If you are a serious man in serious business you would think it is normal that your partner have everything they cherish and you get 5* treatment emotionally and sexually in return. But clearly not all boys who call themselves sugar daddy can afford that!!!!

      • Steve says:

        Or golddiggers. If a SB asks for anything on a M and G drop her ass.

      • guest says:

        Some ask or a gift as a scam. They have no intentions of meeting a second time. Had a SB tell me they needed money up front for dinner to prove I am serious. I pay her and take he somewhere very nice for dinner. Turns out she does this to everyone and has no intention of a 2nd date. She takes the money for the first date then disappears an does it to another guy all over again.

    • Ramzi says:

      SB’s who ask for money for a meet and greet are delusional and scammers. If men agreed to that, they could pull the same scam on many men and keep getting away with it. When a SB asks me for money for a meet and greet, I send her a job application for Wendy’s.

      SB’s who claim they “don’t want sex” are also delusional. So let me get this straight… you’re a young, healthy adult. All young adults NEED sex. You’re obviously getting it from somewhere. In other words, you want to keep banging your tow truck driver who makes 17 grand a year for free, but you want me to pay you to be your friend? Please… hunny. If I wanted to pay for companionship, I would get a golden retriever and train it how to flirt with me.

      Don’t give into stupid SB demands. There are women out there who are younger, hotter, and more fun. Ignore the delusional cunts — the search continues.

    • Latin SB says:

      Haha. Well, with that thinking no one will accept to meet with you traveling maybe 2 hrs to get to you. SBs have no money to spend like that, so they have to run with the expenses and cross their fingers they will get into an arrangement with you? LOL. I know ppl like you, and they have tried intimacy that first day, knowing that it shall cost them but still claim “I will pay you later” That never is true btw. So if the SD is not into reimbursing my travel expenses for M&G I move on because he must be a flake. Those are not worth it.

    • Rick says:

      Travel expenses are different than providing an allowance on the M&G. Any SD should be willing to cover your expenses for traveling 2 hours. It’s the ones that travel 5 minutes to get there and still want $300 to show up. Those are the ones we aren’t so fond of.

    • it is what it is says:

      I don’t call it an allowance….more than once, I’ve been gifted $500 in the restaurant, at the end of the dinner/lunch. I thought it meant they were interested. They were not interested, but said they appreciated my time.

      • it is what it is says:

        Hi there, me again,

        Many men here may want to believe i am lying, but this message is for the SBs. Do you want a shot at this obvious SD? If you’d like to meet him, tell me your state. I might pass on his profile name, if you live near us.

      • Anomynous says:

        “Appreciate” is a good word. “Respect” is too easily abused.

    • Anonymius says:

      Cali, does your current SD know your are shopping on the side, or is that part of your mutually beneficial understanding? I find most ladies today don’t get the concept. It is two sided.

  45. Anonymous says: