4 years ago
Sugar Etiquette: What to Expect on a First Date


Whether you’ve been Sugaring for years or are just stepping foot into the Sugar World, a first Meet & Greet with any new potential arrangement can be pretty uncertain. Don’t go into it with no expectations we want you to know exactly what you’re getting at a first date in the Sugar Bowl!


For Babies




A first M&G calls for the first “get to know me” conversations, and there is nothing worse than not having anything to talk about. Make sure to do your research beforehand on current events or take note of things you’ve already spoken about or that your POT mentioned he enjoys. That way, you’ll be able to help carry the conversation and avoid dead air.


Get to Know Each Other


Your POT knows you want to protect yourself, but that doesn’t mean you need to have a wall up from the start. He wants to get to know you just as much as you want to get to know him, so tell him a bit about yourself! A successful arrangement can only happen when there is honesty and trust on both ends, so if you feel comfortable with him, let him get to know you! If you’re concerned about your safety before the date however, don’t forget to check out this LTS blog post on staying safe on your first M&G.


Don’t Expect Gifts


Sorry, Sugars, you can’t expect to get an allowance or a gift on the first date. Though it can happen, it’s not something you’re entitled to. If he does give you a gift or slip you a little extra cash for your time, great! Take it and be grateful, but only if you feel comfortable and are vibing with the POT and want to see him again.


For Daddies


Testing the Chemistry


Your date will definitely be looking to see if you’re the real-deal Sugar Daddy of her dreams. You both should know a little bit about each other by the first M&G so as long as you both have been honest, just be yourself and you’ll truly see if she’s the one you’ve been looking to have an arrangement with.


Having the Money Talk


If you have a good feeling about your potential new Sugar Baby and you both are really hitting it off, there might be a monetary discussion surrounding your arrangement. Now, if she wants to talk money right away, you may have found yourself a rinser. While you should have in mind how much you’d be willing to spend on the relationship, there’s no pressure to bring it up on the first M&G. Just know it’s a potential topic of conversation if you both find it to be a good fit.


Don’t Expect to Have Sex


If you and your date are really hitting it off from the start, that’s great! However, you can’t expect to have sex. A first M&G is how you can figure out if this is the perfect arrangement for both of you. Focus on getting to know each other and seeing if this will work for the both of you.


Get more advice on making the most of the online dating world on SeekingArrangement’s social media.

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram


190 Responses to “Sugar Etiquette: What to Expect on a First Date”

  1. Judy.SugarBaby says:

    I have it listed on my profile that I do not expect any gift for a meet and greet. But I also put in there that I will not travel more than 15 miles to meet up. So far I received a $200 gift for traveling 30 mins out of my comfort zone and I have been on 12 meet and greets so far, and received unsolicited gifts from 5 of those. Ranging from $40-200 and no intimacy involved. You don’t have to ask SDs for money, they want to impress you if they are serious.
    live in Texas for reference.

  2. G. says:

    I would love to have a meet and greet. the problem is Im a black woman and these men all give is a status…”loud and ghetto.” problem is if you looked at my profile you would know that i have a degree in linguistics and speak very well. so I find myself lying telling people im of other ethnicity. what a drag this place is a JOKE.

    • V says:

      Hi! I’m black too and I only just made my profile last night, but I’ve had over 20+ messages so far. Maybe you could just try changing up your profile? Not one of the messages have mentioned my skin color (which would obviously be a huge red flag from the beginning).

  3. SBaby says:

    Hey gentleman don’t lie about your finances , I know man want to impress but pretending you are extra wealthy will never be good. This is why this website exist to be honest about you and is always a girl who will be happy with what you offer .
    But as you looking for the best girl we want the best man too 🙂

  4. jj says:

    Everyone knows this is an arrangement site, its not a secret. The site is for SUGAR DADDIES and SUGAR BABIES. The 1st date shouldn’t be her rattling off a list of demands and it shouldn’t be him doing that either. It should be a real date, not coffee, not a bar, not Outback. If you’re a sugar daddy on here the expectation is that a nice/fancy/expenisve dinner date is well within budget for you and a normal weekend activity (Mortons steakhouse is Outback prices for you). On a site for arrangements you shouldn’t expect a SB that would have sex after coffee, there’s nothing wrong with that it just means her standards are low. If you’re on an arrangement site looking for a girl with low standards you should probably go to a different site or try Backpage if you’re looking for easy sex and nothing more than that. SBs should expect to engage in sex during the arrangement and SDs should expect to put up some cash, its illogical for either party to think otherwise

  5. David says:

    Make sure the first ” meet ” is just that , money should not change hands , have a drink / meal , test chemistry , and test your compatibility. Make it crystal clear , that this is what the meeting is about .
    From there you have passed all steps of legality , and you can do as you please ,
    If you had a really great first meeting , send a nice follow up note . From there be clear with expectation . This works very well .

  6. Anonymous says:

    Older women, you don’t know your “worth”, your expenses have grown too much compared to your younger competition.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Maybe I’m to “nice” most of my arrangements we go out to eat.. I don’t even have an allowance just sometimes I ask for money and it’s only like 300 dollars and it’s only been 4 times.. and we mainly just meet to chat. We are good friends
    I would love someone to pamper me more

    • Anonymous says:

      Dream on!

    • Anon_SD says:

      Only 300 dollars, typical attitude, how long do you have to work to earn 300 in disposable income?

      • David says:

        Oh yes , that’s completely unrealistic , and leading up the wrong path , these are always complete .

      • SBaby says:

        lol If you have no money 300 will hurt you! But if the SB have a good job earning more that that and the SD is just to enhance her life? you guys want the best girl we want the best man too :)…. Time means gold 🙂

      • anonSD says:

        time does not equal gold unless you make them feel like gold. Never pay to meet or give money online!

  8. Nova says:

    This digital realm has so far been an eye opener to men )and yes I am referring to them because that is my experience and I’m sure there are equally awful women on this site).

    I clearly state in my profile that:
    I am not looking for a sex 4 cash meet up and yet get messages with those offers???
    I will not respond to private picture requests if the guy has only one in poor resolution and a two sentence if at all description.
    Also married men continue to contact me, when I am seeking a single man.

    There are too many fakes with copy paste profiles on here and boys in their twenties pretending to be rich.

    An arrangement is not about sex or a financial transaction! It is a upfront expression of both peoples boundaries, desires, life goals etc And the guy happens to be generous like an old school gentleman.

    Is it delusional of me to think I can meet a guy

    • Seabound says:

      I do not think it is delusional of you. As a successful man, I have the problem that women seem to expect that I buy them gifts and gift them money from date 1. And even crazier in a lot of cases, the SB feel so entitled that all they think they have to do is just hanging out with me. Sometimes it is so bad, I feel like I am just their personal ATM. I have new for them, it is not their money nor do I work for them.

      I have tried a lot of sites. Traditional dating sites don’t seem to work for me. I am attracted to sexy, gorgeous women. The competition for quality women is fierce, and I don’t mind. However, women on a lot of dating sites are just like men they want the hot young stud even if he is draining their bank account. I have had no real success. When I do find someone when we meet they are interesting intellectually but physically there is no chemistry. Or there is a physical attraction, but they, unfortunately, can’t carry a conversation or have no real education.

      I have had a bit more luck with sites like SeekingArrangement. I know, I am looking for a unicorn. I even once thought I found, said unicorn. Turns out it was all just an illusion.

      I will keep looking as I firmly believe my unicorn is out there and she is not an illusion.

      • Lisa says:

        I’d love to say I can be your “unicorn”..
        Seems we both h have the same outlook!

      • Lori hill says:

        I’m looking for the same not after the money but it’s a plus new to this who knows maybe I’m that unicorn

      • Jean says:

        Seabound, I realize you posted this April 2018, however, I’m viewing it for the first time. In reference to the elusive unicorn, this moniker also applies to the male of the species. I’m not a younger woman, I’m 48yrs, very petite, youthful and maintain myself exceptionally well. I’m not the quintessential SB, experience and a youthful appearance trumps youth for me, perhaps your view differs and you aren’t interested in a more mature feminine companion.

  9. Hey ladies,
    Don’t lie about where you are from. No need to impress, own your truth, be yourself and be proud. Anyone have any idea why women lie about where they are from?

    • Belle Femme says:

      We have to because a lot of guys online end up stalking us in real life and on social media.

      • Savanah says:

        Because some areas don’t have much of a selection for men and the site is based off of men closer to your area… may seem deseving but it is needed to attract more potential dates. I will always tell them after we start to get to know eachogher

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes your “works is Backing. Thanks

      • Anonymous says:

        safety is important but distance away from the SD is also important if your not at the same or closer distance than the location you have posted make sure he knows that or don’t waste yours or his time contacting him

    • Impress?!? says:

      I travel for work, so my city changes often.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Do you really buy new clothes for every date? Or put on make up just for the date? It is hard to see why a M&G after work would cause such an expense.

    • Belle Femme says:

      Women go through a lot of time and expense to look nice for a date. Beauty treatments, clothes, underclothes, makeup, jewelry, tanning. Most of the time, we are more invested than our dates even realize.

      • Anonymous says:

        why are you investing that much into a date the SD is not looking for that in a date he is is looking for someone he can get along with and is fun to be with no amount of makeup clothes or jewellery will make up for a awful personality

    • Anonymous says:

      Try not to be that “invested”.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Two comments: First, what are SBs thinking when they get on SA looking for a partner in romance and tell the SD at the M&G they are not on birth control, never have been and had not even thought about it? Second, what are SBs thinking when they agree to both kinds of oral sex but then insist on a condom for intercourse in order to have “protection.” Protection from what? Oral sex means you are instantly on the same plane with your partner with respect to any STD issue.

    • yougottabekiddingme says:

      Not sure why guys feel entitled to unprotected sex just because they enter into an arrangement. Arrange to put on a condom, and shut your whining. K, Wild Willy?

    • Calibabe says:

      STDs through oral are possible but not as big of a risk than vaginally. If they’re not on BC then also protection against children. You sound uneducated on basic sexual health

      • Jean says:

        Beg to differ about the oral sex Not infecting you with STD…Several sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, HPV, and viral hepatitis can be passed on through oral sex. …Hepatitis is more virulent than HIV and AIDS!

    • Anon says:

      LOL because we don’t want children….

  12. TypicalHuman says:

    What’s all about the SD and SB of this site if SD’s won’t spoil their SB’s and SB’s won’t satisfy their SD’s? Hmmm…

  13. anon24 says:

    This whole article is an absolute joke. Men can just roll out of bed and begin their day. Women pay to get their hair-makeup-nails and clothes before a date. I don’t even go on non SD dates where the guy doesnt offer to send a car or reimburse for travel. The surest way to tell if an SD is salt is if he expects you to pay all of that money to prepare for the date and transportation. If someone is serious about an arrangement and they actually have money a couple hundred for a meet and greet is nothing.

    • Anonymous says:

      Just show up without having hair, makeup and nails done. If you look hideous without getting them done then that’s your problem, not his.

  14. Erewhon says:

    I’m so glad that SA has stopped recommending that SDs give girls a “gift” on the first date. We’re not so pathetic that we have to bribe girls to go out with us. And thanks for telling the girls not to ask for anything. It’s just offensive to be asked to give something to a girl you haven’t met plus the implication that she’s making a living off of “dates.” If the girl ever asks me, I tell her that’s not my policy and the aforementioned reasons why. But 50% of the time I end up having lots of fun:) with my date and I never offer money upfront. Sometimes we just have coffee or wine, so I don’t even buy them dinner (I’ve only bought a girl dinner once in the last year).

    The secret is to screen well– you kinda get the idea of where things might head from their profile or a few texts that kinda cross the line of propriety (only mildly, most girls don’t like the overt talk of sex). And to be a little bold by suggesting you head off to a “place” afterwards. My most memorable recent experience is that after having coffee with a girl and talking about travel, politics, mundane stuff, etc. I say that I probably should go, but I lean in and whisper, “Would you like to have sex?” She found that a real turn on! I did have to go, so we texted and played in the back of my SUV later that night. Awesome:)

    • Ana says:

      Haha this kind of comments just encourage salty man to try on this site, i mean you wanna be someone SD but you are not willing even to buy lunch and you pretend to have the action happen in the back of your mothers SUV, hahahaha i have heard histories about cheap man but this is the best, just take your salty ass out of your mim basemant and stop jerking off imaginen things that would never happen to you hahaha i wouldnt touch you not even with a stick??

  15. Vlad says:

    Can I get some free crumbs anywhere?

  16. Newbie says:

    I just started and I don’t have much knowledge about this way of dating. Any precautions or suggestions for SBs would be very helpful.

    • Humanator says:

      From the stories I have been told by the ladies I think it is a good idea, for men too, to actually have a phone conversation before your date to make sure the person is real, really interested, and not a fake who isn’t going to bail while just hiding behind a profile. Talk to them and if possible Skype. Have the, text or email you pictures to be sure they are who they say they are. Don’t just go to a first date based on a commitment o it online. Make them take it a step further and always meet in a classy place.

    • Haha says:

      The venue for M&G should always focus on your safety.

    • Anonymous says:

      Most of these girls make under $10/hour. Anything better than Applebees is “classy.”

  17. Synonymous says:

    I’m so glad that SA has stopped recommending that SDs give girls a “gift” on the first date. We’re not so pathetic that we have to bribe girls to go out with us. And thanks for telling the girls not to ask for anything. It’s just offensive to be asked to give something to a girl you haven’t met plus the implication that she’s making a living off of “dates.” If the girl ever asks me, I tell her that’s not my policy and the aforementioned reasons why. But 50% of the time I end up having lots of fun:) with my date and I never offer money upfront. Sometimes we just have coffee or wine, so I don’t even buy them dinner (I’ve only bought a girl dinner once in the last year).

    The secret is to screen well– you kinda get the idea of where things might head from their profile or a few texts that kinda cross the line of propriety (only mildly, most girls don’t like the overt talk of sex). And to be a little bold by suggesting you head off to a “place” afterwards. My most memorable recent experience is that after having coffee with a girl and talking about travel, politics, mundane stuff, etc. I say that I probably should go, but I lean in and whisper, “Would you like to have sex?” She find that a real turn on! I did have to go, so we texted and played in the back of my SUV later that night. Awesome:).

    • anon24 says:

      You sound like a complete loser. You don’t want to give girls anything to meet up but yet you expect them to give you their TIME and BODY? Thats pathetic. If you don’t understand how much it costs for a woman to get ready for a date- hair- nails- makeup- clothes- time they could be doing something- uber costs….then you just a salt daddy trying to get laid under the false pretense you want an arrangement. You should be banned from the site. Despicable.

    • Wee Willy lol says:

      My thoughts are totally different
      1. Treat this like any first date. The main reason you are seeing this girl is because you already think you could have more than a one night stand. If not call an escort.

      2.Screen well and if she is hot bring a gift. You can always decide not to give it if she’s not like her photos or worse her personality makes you want to leave the restaurant

      3. The date should be as much for you as for her so if your not into going out then your going to be a boring SD.

      4. I think that most aren’t looking for an arrangement but a cheap lay. I don’t have time for that. I’d call an escort if that’s all I wanted.

      My two cents

    • Anonymous says:

      The only girls you should be arranging with are those who would date you even if there is no money involved because they like to be with older men. An allowance should just be icing on the cake.

      If she is meeting you because of the money and would never meet/date you without it then you are merely a number to her. It won’t last anyway.

      • Anonymous says:

        Don’t you understand the premise of this site? I hope you say this in your profile. Sounds like you’re speaking from a very limited perspective. My SDs have been younger.

      • Anonymous says:

        yes he does understand the premise of this site the text book definition of a SD is older wealthy male with younger beautiful woman if your SD are younger than you they are not SD they are wealthy boyfriends nothing wrong with that enjoy the moment but they are not SD if they are younger than you

      • Anonymous says:

        very well said

  18. Eskimo92 says:

    Well said

  19. Anonymous says:


  20. FLWildcat says:

    Here are my thoughts on standards for how a true and honest Sugar Daddy should conduct themselves on meet and greets (M & G):
    1. Never ever pay for a greet and meet. Yes, pay for the meal and maybe the her transportation but that’s it. I’ve had a few M & G where the lady showed up and looked nothing like her pictures. Bottom line the M & G is just as much the SD checking her out as it is the SB checking you out.
    2. Always exchange cell numbers before the M & G so you can confirm with her that morning as well as one hour before the meeting. SA provides options for the SBs to get shadow cell numbers, so really no reason she can’t provide that kind of info-if she is truly interested in a real SD/SB relationship with you then she will give you her number.Most SDs are busy guys and being stood up is a real drag!
    3. Have enough conversations either via the message board or via texting to insure the basics of her expectations and YOUR expectations are covered before you meet. This does not include the allowance because that can change depending on how the M & G goes. However, as an example my best availability is during the day – Monday through Friday. If her schedule doesn’t allow that and she is looking for dates on nights and weekends, no matter how beautiful or fun she seems to be the simple scheduling won’t work out. Know what your “must haves” are and get those covered before you meet.
    4. Her investment in time will tell you a lot. If she only wants to meet at Starbucks for coffee you haven’t invested enough time in getting to know her via messaging or texts.
    5. Let her pick the place…….even if her profile says she is a submissive, let her know you like that “personality trait” but this time only do you want her to decide. Again, it makes her show a commitment to the meeting. There are a lot of ladies (especially young college girls) that get off on simply playing head games on this site.

  21. Tommy says:

    I agree that sugar exchange at the M&G shows a lack of class. However, I find it ironic that Brandon Wade has another site called What’s Your Price where it is all about payment for a 1st date.

  22. Andy says:

    I had two ‘girls’ request appearance fees just today. My profile clearly states I am not going to do that yet they both wanted it. One of them got so upset that I wouldn’t pay her to meet me that she said she reported me to the webmasters of this site and would have her ‘sheriff dad’ file a report on me. I’d love to see the face of her dad when she tells him she is on a pay to play website and wanted cash upfront to meet a potential sugar daddy. She also made the comment that she has been paid $10k just to be seen with a guy and that they never had sex. It is amazing the amount of bimbos on this site that think we are so desperate to be seen with a cute young girl that we’d actually pay them just to have a dinner with us.

    • FLWildcat says:

      I agree with Andy, it is funny that some gals honestly expect a guy to pay them just to have lunch or coffee and get to know each other!

      • Gale says:

        My thing is finding someone to meet to enjoy each others company if he buys just coffee is fine with me.

    • Anonymous says:

      OMG! 10k that is so crazy if it is true. Can anyone call that girl & get the number of the guy that gave her 10k so I can go on a date with him….just joking 🙂

  23. Elizabeth Peçanha says:

    Quero apenas ser feliz ao lado da pessoa certa.

  24. Erica says:

    Procura de um bom relacionamento

  25. Anonymous says:

    There’s really no need to pay for a M&G! If I like a POT and he pays for my uber and something fun to chat over, I don’t mind if we hit it off or not! I’m not losing any money and I enjoy meeting new people, even if it’s just once! No hard feelings if we don’t hit it off… Ladies, if you don’t enjoy meeting with men… try something else that will make you happier!

  26. Erica says:

    A procura da Felicidade

  27. Not so complicated says:

    The fact that some people want something for nothing is not a problem with this site, it is a problem with ALL OF HUMAN NATURE. We are all over 18. How did you not learn this the first time you traded a pokemon card?

    If people are for real about arrangements, a very classy first date is the way to go. Take her to a nice restaurant. Show her its not your first time ordering wine. Does the waiter know you? Fit to your interests/lifestyle: can you get good seats to a basketball game? Season tickets? Did she think that concert was sold out? Do you know a guy who can find those tickets (for a price)? The point is that she should want to be impressed with your lifestyle and a wad of cash cant possibly prove that. A wad of cash on the first date just means she wants that one wad of cash. It doesn’t even prove you can have another wad of cash next week! And what can she possible be impressed with at a starbucks M&G? Your knowledge of french roast? Please.

    If paying a lot for a first date sounds like a big risk to you aspiring SD’s, you don’t have the money for this. I regret to inform you: that should just be a regular Friday night for a high roller. That’s the whole point. Go make your money. Until then, pof.com. You want a girl that’s NOT interested in your money? Go hit up christian mingle. Why are you here?

  28. huh says:

    What happen when SD dont like SB, and they meet…

  29. Anonymous says:

    My experience is that its very difficult even to get to A normal date because of all those timewasters.
    People are looking at this site as an escort website and guys registering themselves up here with 30000 a year income? Well even if they would transfer me all their money that wouldn`t be enough for me or others. So what are we talking about? Never mind the gifts.. but my experience is guys are just trying to see how they can get a woman for free because they cant afford an escort. So they are trying to pay with lies. Come on now!

    • sd with open eyes says:

      Since you can see income information ahead of time why should they waste a lot of your time?

    • Anonymous says:

      There are plenty of time wasters on the SB side too. Too many “I want online only for pics and vids at $500 per week” types here, when their profile insinuates they want a real-time arrangement.

      The last one who hit me with that had the audacity to claim guys were really offering her that for pics. I doubt it, when there is so much adult entertainment available online, for far less.

  30. SR says:

    As far as gifts on a first date I always take a gift. I meet at a well known 5 star London hotel cocktail bar, a safe and top quality venue for any girl to visit in style. I take dates to 5 star restaurants and pay travel expenses. I shop beforehand on my way to every first date, but I keep my gifts to ‘romantic gentleman’ style gestures, chocolates from Godiva or Charbonnel et Walker, maacarons from Laduree, always perfectly gift wrapped in a branded carry bag. I sometimes, occasionally for very promising dates take a small item of quality jewellery (if I know the lady’s taste) or a small branded gift but not something purely for a high value. Generally a gift costs from £25 upwards to no more than £100. . It is the thought and planning df this and the kindly manners that should be appreciated not its monetary value. It’s not always the case and some girls just seem taken aback by this kind of style as they are just nto used to it maybe.

    Anyone ASKING for a gift wouldn’t even get a date with me. Anyone asking for money before or on a first date would go no further as I hate those pay to play types. I am highly experienced and very well mannered and never care the cost of a date and spend generously but even then I have been messed around by so many scammers and greedy females that I now screen all dates extremely thoroughly before meeting. My own advert makes it abundantly clear what I am seeking and so do discussions very carefully before limited meetings when I am seeking a new arrangement. However there is no accounting for schemers, scammers and fakes who either do not show up to dates or atteot to defraud you for advance travel fees. I have had this happen several times before finally imposing conditions to stop that. I still do however always take a small gesture gift on every date as I refuse to let other people’s lack of manners change my own standards.

    • A says:

      Dude if you take dates or any kind of present or money to a first date you’re asking to be scammed. Their mindset will be “If I can get money and gifts from guys without giving anything back, why shouldn’t I just keep the gravy train going an meet someone else, and the next”. Of course you should treat her well, pay for diner, transport, etc thats a given. But actually handing over gifts?! You’re giving gifts to a stranger. Makes no sense to me.

      • Miffy says:

        If you don’t see her spending time with him as “giving something back”, then you are using this site to look for escorts which is against the rules and against the law in most places.

      • JL says:

        If you cannot pay $500 per date even for strangers, you dont qualify to be a SD. I am a dude, and I throw $500 like nobody business and I dont complain… if you make $50K a month, and spend say $4K on 8 $500 dates, thats no biggy really. So stop whinning.

      • SR says:

        I really do not see that taking flowers or a high quality brand chocolates gift or anything at that level of cost constitutes anything other than perhaps a slightly old fashioned sense of gentlemanly manners. I am entirely comfortable with this and regard it simply as my natural polite style. I don’t think it’s going to ‘encourage’ greed in girls at all. I am deliberately not picking ‘value’ items which seem like bribes. It may result in some comparison with how other less gracious or more commercially minded men behave on dates but that’s in my favour. Either way I’ll be remembered. The sort of gifts I described have always been well received, and were always completely unexpected and just added a bit of classic ‘romanticism’ into the dating occasion. It’s just to me a marker than as a man coming on a date, I’ve actually given a small thought to my intended companion and I am prepared to show a little bit of style and thoughtfulness without any conditions. It’s actually a ritual, but one I enjoy the preparation and forethought for, and it’s not like I am dating new every week only when searchin a new arrangement partner.

        Maybe some young women these days don’t expect or appreciate even a small romantic token but given the age gap between me and my dates I happily still stick with the manners I grew up with and if it gets a smile and breaks the ice nicely what harm can that do? I have also found it gives me a small insight into the person I am meeting as to how they react to such gestures. Let’s not make the entire dating world a cynical mercenary place.

      • Torsh Johansen says:

        JL: $500 per date in NYC on a Fri/Sat night, sure. Otherwise, it’s not the $$ amount, it’s that going to “date places” are going to be fancy and nothing has any monetary effect on you. You don’t spend money to stroke your own ego. It’s a means, not an ends.

        Douche Bags: Pay $5 for a stick of spearmint gum at the store, so they can (flip hair) show they have $.

    • Anonymous says:

      I think bringing a gift is a great idea! Even if it was a small gift such as flowers or simple small diamond ear rings. I have met with way too many SPLENDA daddies. The men who say they’re sugar daddies but are cheap as hell. I recently met one for coffee ….. keep in mind I drove over 30 minutes to meet at the starbucks he wanted and even after I told him that was a 30 minute drive he insisted on still meeting there. I went and met with him, his profile said he makes 1 million, told me about his businesses and being a lawyer ect. We had great chemistry and then he says his past arrangements he gave his sugar babies $100 once a week for mani pedi money. I have been a SB on and off for over 4 years and have minimum gotten $2000 a month. I politely told him my allowance from past arrangements and that I was looking for a similar number where then he said no sugar baby in my area will make over $100 a week. He was an absolutely idiot. This was so frustrating because I wasted my time and gas going to meet this SPLENDA daddy. So from now on I am not even meeting with a SD before I have a general idea on what type of allowance they may provide ect. I pay my own way through school I don’t have time for BS Sugar daddies. I do believe though that the ones who do show they not only talk the talk but can walk the walk with a simple gift I personally believe it makes a better impression that they are serious about an arrangement and your time.

      • Anonymous says:

        “I pay my own way through school” Oh REAAAAALLY? And thus the world owns you a sugar daddy that throws money at you constantly…?
        Please grow up, you delusional little creature.
        Oh, you “wasted your time”… You poor little thing..
        “So from now on I am not even meeting with a SD before..”
        Thank you. Please don’t meet at all. Stay in school and get a job at McD or something and let the real, non-self-entitled women meet up with sugar daddies (yes, they’re actually PLENTY of them..)

    • Anonymous says:

      Well, which 5 Star restaurant?
      The maximum of stars a restaurant could have is only 3.
      One is Alain Ducasse
      The next is Gordon Ramsay
      and newly the Araki.

      So interesting where to bring the girls.
      and in London are more fitting places for a first date even if they only have 1 or 2 Michelin stars.

      • KS says:

        Give him some slack. Figuratively providing the best experience is his MO although literally you are correct with the Michelin system 3 stars is the maximum and yes only Alain Ducasse at the Dorchester in London is currently 3-star. I have a feeling some of us have spotted each other at other tables in the West End…

    • Megster says:

      This is exactly how I believed the SD/SB arrangements were supposed to be. Romance, relaxed and fun and a little fancy. I am one of the older ladies and have a successful business but raising three kids and putting them thru college as a single Mom, doesn’t leave me much time or funds to find romance or treat myself to special gifts or a night out dancing, going to play or concert or attending my a baseball game. My first sugar experience was very confusing and the discussion about money was awkward. All sorts of things were going thru my head when he asked me how much I wanted for the first meeting. I ended up saying no money was necessary as long as he was paying for dinner because I wanted to see if we had any chemistry first. He asked me to pick where I wanted to go in my area. My favorite Greek place was busy that evening but I could hear loud gasps when my “date” walked in with a beautiful arrangement of flowers. Close to tears at the gesture, I felt special and pampered. This was followed by a few months of special dates that he put a lot of thought into and then it all stopped. No call, email or text explaining what happened. I know it is NSA but I did not expect that kind of ending and was truly worried about his well being. Even though he did end up paying me for my time by treating me to manicures and meals, that was not what I missed. It was the kindness from what I thought was a true gentleman.

    • Anonymous says:

      I find old fashioned manners endearing and romantic! It’s amazing how often manners are overlooked and those who choose to use them are seen as a push-overs. A man showing up with flowers shows he thought enough of me to take the time to get them! Trust me, there are still ladies out there who appreciate those kinds of opening gestures. Some of us still like having the door held for us too!!

  31. Nole says:

    I’m an SD, 3d time on the site, each for a month or two, a year or so apart. First time was perfect, met an amazing girl and had a long term arrangement that could not have been better. Plus half a dozen more short term. Second time took a lot more time and effort and nonsense, but eventually found the right girl. This time has been a total shit show between the straight up hookers, fake profiles and real girls who must be so jaded from what they deal with on the site, that they cannot spot a real deal SD. Kind of like craigslist, there was this brief shining moment at the beginning when it worked as designed, but from my limited experience has been in a long steady decline and is now about to start the death spiral.

    • worthexploring says:

      It’s always disheartening to hear a SD relay a bad experience with scammers and rinsers on SA. Finding a genuine SD is difficult enough without the fake SBs discouraging them further. Please don’t give up!

      • Dave jr says:

        I echo exactly what Nole has said. Also, I find expectations of “High” or “Substantial” totally ridiculous and they will all be disappointed. Why even have that?

    • Me says:

      U need 2 focus on bein careful more don’t b in a quick hurry 2 b disappointed k

    • Anonymous says:

      So true

  32. Anna says:

    I will never meet with someone unless we’ve discussed allowance beforehand. It is a waste of time to meet up with someone when they have a completely different price range than I do. If I’m gonna meet someone once a week for $500 a week, I might as well become an escort and get paid that much an hour OR go back to being a cocktail waitress and make twice that money in a night and not be intimate with anybody.

    Whenever I go on dates, the sugar daddy will pay for my uber and dinner and no my expectations beforehand and if we click, we start there and then. I don’t like wasting my time going on endless dates with people who can’t afford me. What’s the point of that when I can get that out of the way over the phone

  33. Ckat says:

    I came across this one girl on SA that wanted $50 for M&G. Actually she has her allowances and activities for dates 1, 2, and 3 all planned out. This girl is parking herself at Starbucks with the intent of meeting 2-4 guys per day. Think about that, $50 per meet over 5 days? Her potential for a week of sitting at Starbucks meeting 2-4 guys per day – $500-$1000 per week! And realize, she probably has no intention of making it to date 2. She’ll block, ignore, or lie to you about how she isn’t interested in date 2. If a guy is lucky enough to make date 2, odds are she’ll continue to play the game. Be smart SDs! You should never pay for a M&G. This is your chance to interview your SB and your time is way more valuable than hers.

  34. Anonymous says:

    I recently came across this SB who insisted on $50 for the M&G. After further msg, she also had a set amount for dates 1, 2, & 3. As we continued discussing her plans, I gathered that she’s parking herself at Starbucks for the morning with the intent of meeting 2-4 guys from the site. At $50 per meet x5 days, she could bring in $500-1000 for a week of M&G. Then you have to wonder, is she really going to move on to date 2? I highly doubt it. You’ll get the silent treatment, be blocked, or she’ll simply say you aren’t what she’s looking for. Makes me think of “What’s You’re Price?” That site has contributed to the idea that a SB should be paid for a M&G. Weird thing with this girl is she’s created 3 new profiles in one week, but keeps using the same photos.

  35. Howie says:

    That is actually correct advice.

    How often are there SBs who want to get paid to meet in person? Not just rinse, but flush. They have this bizarre notion that their time is valuable, but the time of man who is probably making $250k+ per year is not. No, ladies. He will pay for the date and probably any out of pocket cost for you to get to the date, but allowance starts when you have both decided to make a go out of it.

    • A guy says:

      true dat

    • Miffy says:

      The premise of an arrangement is him paying for her time, if you don’t think her time is more valuable than hers than you really should get off of this site as “men” like you are ruining it.

      • Haha says:

        Wrong premise. Clock ticking is for pros and is illegal.

      • Anonymous says:

        no the premise of the arrangement is a mutually beneficial arrangement if a SD feels her time is beneficial to him she will get paid if her time is not she won’t get a arrangement out of it

      • 47SWM says:

        Only an economically illiterate person would conclude that the time of a college girl waiting tables is more valuable than a man who has the discretionary income to support a SB.

        For an arrangement to work, both parties have to be satisfied.

        Escorts do one thing and are paid for their time.

        A sugar arrangement is a type of relationship in which the two individuals contribute in various ways to the other.

  36. Anonymous says:

    For a newbie, should I be using my real name on my profile or a fake one for safety reasons? As someone who is looking for a long term arrangement, is it a bad idea to use a fake name?

    • alternatedating says:

      Definitely don’t use your real name until your comfortable.

      As a guy on this site, I don’t expect you to be honest about your name until we meet. On the other hand, I do expect honesty about what you’re looking for in an arrangement and basic background (don’t tell me you’re doing X if you’re doing something very different). I’m trying to figure out compatibility in a long term arrangement.

    • Howie says:

      It is reasonable to hide your real identity on your profile. Also, make sure your photos here are not used on any other site, especially your social media accounts. That will give you some anonymity.

      Then when you start getting to know someone, you can switch to your real first name and when you meet the person and decided you can trust him, you can let him know your last name when it comes up.

      We don’t care what your profile name is, we care about your description and pictures being accurate. Be honest with those things.

    • BitterSweet12 says:

      Absolutely NEVER use your real name, sweetheart! Nor your address, or any identifying information until you’ve met the man in question and he gives you a good vibe.
      Some of these men are creeps, and using your real name is setting yourself up for a potentially bitter experience.

  37. Voicemail says:

    This is the reason why I left initially and went to Sudy. Force the folks to verify themselves by taking a picture with a sign. That way they can’t catfish for photos and use it to imitate who you are. There should be a way to block image captures on the website.

  38. getjiggy says:

    Something is definitely wrong on both sides for sure. But guys really do have to consider what is happening on the other side. I am looking for a genuine arrangement with someone I will get along with and so prefer not to bring up money or sex during the initial chats or the first m&g. But from my experience, the guys who tend to “not want to be used for their money” end up being the most sexual. I don’t mean Johns who can’t afford arrangements but multimillionaires and the like. They claim victim when you bring up what they are looking to provide but have no qualms about touching you or flat out sexualizing you, talking very graphically about what they want to do to various body parts, out in public. At this point, you just walk out. But this shouldn’t be the norm. And then expecting a girl to not want anything because then “they are after money”. No one likes being used.

    Sure, I’ve gone on a few dates where I was gifted $200+ but I never asked and those were the guys who never brought up sex till after the first date and I never brought up money until we knew we liked each other to continue seeing each other. Ahh the good old days. Now I never log on. Thanks for the scum (on both sides) SA.

  39. Anonymous says:

    This site must discourage women seeing multiple men, it is dangerous.

  40. RaeBaby says:

    In my personal experience, as a sugar baby I’ve NEVER asked for gifts or money on the first meet and greet. Because of this, the daddy I’m meeting should NOT expect 1st meet sex, and yet 4/5 M&G’s I’ve had with daddies this month have ended with them trying to escort me back to their house/hotel room for the firs start of the “real” arrangement. The men on here can be just as classless and flakey as the sugar babies.
    If you make plans with someone, stick to them or at the very leas give ample notice you can’t make it- nothing worse than being ghosted after getting dressed up and excited for the meet. Be on time! Anything more than half an hour for me is grounds for leaving. And finally if you cancel/reschedule more than once, you’re a waste of time. There are hundreds of others waiting to take your place (this applies to both daddies and babies).

    • Rick says:

      I guess it’s good to know that SBs have the same problems as SDs, 3 of the last 4 SBs I planned to meet for a meal wanted an allowance for the meeting. And I’ve had a number of no-shows, but it’s better now that I confirm the morning of. Still one showed up an hour late and wondered why I wasn’t still there.

      So, good luck, Rae

  41. mel says:

    Too many men dont understand the sugar world and enter thinking they are going to find a sugar baby for $100. When you first meet your sb and you are ready to progress to intimate things as pictures, more dates, travel and so on than yes you need to bring something for the first meeting. if you are just simply meeting to feel her out more than of course dinner or lunch and transportation or gas should be provided so she still get the gentleman aspect instead of you saying no im not interested and she gets nothing but a waste of time and makeup and clothes lol

    • Torsh Johansen says:

      Merely Meeting a girl off the site? Shouldn’t cost anything, besides the expense of using the site + the cost of a nice date like any other. So no, you don’t pay them to have a 1st M&G date.

      And a guy wastes his time + paid the (usually expensive) date. There’s no more time wasted than any other Internet or blind date if things didn’t “click”.

  42. mister coffee says:

    I usually bring a nice but modest gift (gourmet chocolates wrapped in a silk scarf is often a winner) to an initial meet & greet. If the baby has transportation issues I will arrange an Uber for her to make the meeting.

    Having said that, often at the meet & greet the baby will have a tale of financial woe and an expectation that I present a more liquid (and much more substantial) token of my affections and sympathy.

  43. Anonymous says:

    There are too many fake profiles on here.
    Can the moderator do something about it please.
    Such a waste of time.
    As for social etiquette: common courtesy seems to be extinct along with men acting like gentlemen and women having class.
    Very saddening: so much for our human race evolving.

  44. NBH says:

    Men seem to want to get as much as they can from the women, for as little as possible and treat them like idiots. Accept that you are here for a reason and you get what you pay for.

  45. Rick says:

    I just had an SB ask for money for the M&G, to prove I was serious. I asked her how she planned to prove herself serious, and haven’t heard back. Asking for a gift or allowance for the M&G cries out “rinser” to me. At the very least it makes me thinks she’s entitled or greedy. Neither of those is an attractive trait in an SB.

  46. BlueSky says:

    If this site is really about dating first then this is an accurate guideline for first dates. Nothing should be expected from either side as it is in any “normal dating site.” If people honestly like each other the negotiation won’t be in the forefront on either side, it would just happen organically. “Hey, sugar baby I noticed your computer screen is cracked, let me get you a new one.” or “Hey there sugar daddy, you are so wonderful and handsome I can’t wait to get you alone.” Seems like what is going on though is people wanting to have their cake without actually calling it cake, hence this article. Wouldn’t it just be easier to go online someplace where they call cake, cake? I may be new here but seems like a great waste of time for both parties if they are wanting cake but can’t bring themselves to call it cake. Just go buy or sell some cake, there are so many places online to buy or sell cake where you can basically call it cake, I can’t even!!! Anyway, that’s my two cents.

  47. mel says:

    A gift on first date shouoldnt be in the works unless both parties are ready to start the arrangement and hit it off. I can see bringing something to compensate time and gas as I think its gentleman gesture as most men bring gifts flowers box of chocolates and so on. The whole idea of s SD is that he wants to spoil someone and if you feel like she needs to prove something to you for that than you are saying she needs to sex you to prove that.

  48. N says:

    It would be great if SA had an open source template for the SD’s on here when it comes to social etiquette and an NDA/ contract between both parties of the arrangement.
    What does she desire?
    Whats does he desire?
    Some basic outlines
    Because him saying “just let me know how I can help you” really does not work for a genuine kind hearted giver, who is looking to learn how to finally receive. She will not ask for anything!
    Him being clueless will not offer either.
    He should just give to show his appreciation and both parties should have curiosity and interest for one another: it’s the foundation to any relationship. Wether it is NSA or not.
    Also more awareness is needed not only about STD’s, AIDS but HPV too. Because HPV can cause cervical cancer for women in the long run.

  49. FLWildcat says:

    Why should a Daddy pay or give gifts during a M & G when he is there to meet her and see if she is a match as much as she is checking him out. I’ve met several ladies who resemble the pictures they posted of themselves from 10 years and 30-50 lbs ago!

  50. Anonymous says:

    I’m pretty sure that no one takes any of this seriously.

    • Gale says:

      My thing is finding someone to meet to enjoy each others company if he buys just coffee is fine with me.

  51. Miffy says:

    This shows the site has gone to shit, I remember when gifts on M&Gs were absolutely expected and it should still be that way. Oh well, I guess men ruin everything good anyways.

    • FLWildcat says:

      If a lady asks me during our pre-M&G chats how much I am willing to give as an allowance for the M&G that is an immediate red flag and I tell them I don’t give an allowance for our first get together. It has only cost me one meeting and I have met 67 ladies thus far!

      • Miffy says:

        You are an example of what’s wrong with this site then, lol.

      • Anonymous says:

        The problem with gifts during an initial M&G is that they are only looking for the gift sometimes. This is a problem because money can’t buy love.

      • wat says:

        So SG expects to be paid for first MnG but SD shouldn’t expect sex for first MnG?

        You can’t have it both ways.

      • Anonymous says:

        No! YOU however act like a self-entitled, narcissistic rinser, and there’s NOTHING sexy about that..

      • Haha says:

        It’s SBs like you that destroyed the site. I’ve been on the site for quite a while and have been scammed by M&G pros, ghosters, scammers. They were not as pervasive as they are now and just sets a bad example for the rest of real SBs. It has never been the norm to gift on an M&G. Sure, pay for your taxi, UBER, or maybe even your hair & nails if we really hit it off during initial communication but never gifts on the first meet. Now the site is full of platonic, online-only, and financial seekers. SA should create a separate site for these SBs.

      • ExperiencedBae says:

        wait… who is looking for love on here. lol

    • alternatedating says:

      Women asking for gifts at a meet and greet aren’t serious about an arrangement.

      If you’ve exchanged some emails and figured out you’re on the same page, but want to confirm the person is real and there is a connection, that’s the purpose of the meet and greet.

      Think about it … you want $50/$100 to get a coffee …. seriously? Think how many multiples of that you are losing. Unless, of course, you’re not really serious about an arrangement.

      • I didn't ask or hint for anything. says:

        That’s not necessarily true. Their request could be from experience, or to make up for your no call no show the first time around. I’ve been gifted FAR more at a few meet and greets, than I’ve been gifted in an arrangement. Those few that I met only for lunch, weren’t interested in an arrangement with me, but they were obviously REAL SD by the amount they gifted me.

        $50/$100 That is a joke though. That’s a nice token from the average guy, but we’re not talking about a SD here, let’s be clear.

        Guys don’t really know, as they’re only on one side of it.

        Ladies, if you want to meet the guys that generously rejected me, reach out. I’m a sharer.

    • Anonymous says:

      Delusional women will be delusional. There are numerous SB profiles.
      If you ask for a gift, I next you and click on the profile down.
      What is that you have to offer, to demand a gift? Nothing – besides your supersized ego.

      • Anonymous says:

        Don’t spend a second on these entitled “SB’s”. Make her work for your attention and money – or next her immediately. Plenty of hungry women that will appreciate a real sugar daddy.

      • Miffy says:

        If you don’t think we have anything to offer then why are you even on here?

      • Anonymous says:

        we do think there are women on here with something to offer just not you

      • mel says:

        Why do she have to kiss ass to make you want her? I thought its suppose to be a mutual thing not one kissing ass to get the other to do for them.

    • aaaaaaa says:

      I think a nice middle ground for the M&G is no gifts/allowance, but let the girl pick the restaurant and encourage her to pick a nice/expensive one.

  52. Anonymous says:

    Some the M&Gs, you just need to find out if the girl is real. Some of them don’t even show up. There are a lot of girls not serious about the sugar lifestyle. I’m sure it is the same with men too. It takes while to connect with the real deal.

    • l says:

      I’ve heard it takes 2-3 years to find a good SB!?! Wonder how true that is.

      • FLWildcat says:

        It should only take that much time if you are not doing a complete search, your criteria is too tight or some other issue. It takes daily work to be successful at finding the right baby!

      • Anonymous says:

        if it takes that long why would anyone sign up there might be some truth to that though it takes a long time to sort through the garbage to find a good one

      • Haha says:

        It took me 4 years to find a real gem. That’s with low intensity, when-i-get-the-itch patronage. During that time I’ve had 2 short term, a lot of scam (learned the hard way but I didn’t mind) but amidst all of that I thought it was worth it. So my experience if any that I can pass on is that it works.

  53. pathtravelled says:

    In my experience of about 10x M&G during the last years, attempting to find the correct arrangement, the ladies all have expected a gift of money for their gas and time. I have always understood it too as a way for me to show that I am serious about the possible arrangement. No sex expected on my part during this first M&G, but they do expect the gift, and I had only had sex in this first M&G once with one lady as the M&G turned into a full date with drinks and dinner.

  54. john says:

    I said 70% of Women expect gifts or cash on the first meeting.

    • Anonymous says:

      That is pitiful! What does that say about the women on here? Gold diggers for most of them, and they don’t even care about anything but the gift. That’s why this site has gone down hill.

      • Anonymous says:

        are you complaining about gold diggers on a sugar daddy website?

        LOL of course they are gold diggers. Everyone on here is. Are you delusional?

    • Anonymous says:

      what does that say about the men on here? so unattractive they have to pay women to have sex with them, and so poor they can’t even afford a gift card!

  55. Anonymous 27 says:

    Yup we can keep saying that….

    In reality, my last 10 first dates have involved sex and cash.

    SA doesn’t want to admit this, but the ladies are driving the dynamics in this direction, not the men.

    Guaranteed this comment will get blocked

    • Anonymous says:

      most sugar babies are in a hurry for money so i bring my allowance with me if she wants to start right away what is wrong with that both parties are getting what they want just don’t expect sex on the first date you don’t know how it’s going to turn out until you meet

    • Euronymous says:

      The good news is that your comment is not blocked, the bad news is that you have a to work har from now on your self esteem. Do not be convinced that SA is the only way for you to date

      • Anonymous says:

        the world is changing and SA is not the only game in town they were one of the first to take advantage of the changing world of dating and that’s why they are the largest but others have taken notice and adapted to this changing world of dating there are so many other options available now besides this one

    • ExperiencedBae says:

      Maybe. I stopped putting out and tried to not have sex on the first date and guys stopped responding/ calling me back. Loose girls are lowering good girl’s worth.

  56. JOSE IGNACIO says:

    I would like to find a honest person to talk and have fun with. I think it would be nice to be friends first and then whatever comes.

  57. Eva says:

    Can we address the rampant ghosting on this site? That is the reason why I left SA in the past. It is not just younger SBs who do it, some men who should know better have no problem going ghost.

    It seems like most SD think their time is highly valuable and yet they have no respect for the SB’s time.

    • Tate says:

      In my experince the SB’s are worse

      I have girls say they don’t have gas money, I send money before meeting them (stupid I know) just to be ghosted by them this has happened 3 times (silly me)

      I don’t do PPM’s but I have offered multiple girls money guaranteed and the girls will agree just to flake because they are “rinsers” who want me to as one girl put it “to send a little something so she knows it’s real”

      The site is going down because these new girls don’t understand what SB/SD relationship dynamic is

      For a guy like me who is willing to spoil I might ass well go on Tinder at least the only thing I will lose is dinner at most

  58. alternatedating says:

    Thanks for the good post. A M&G is a good way to confirm that things will work.

    Women shouldn’t expect gifts. Men shouldn’t expect sex.

    • Anonymous says:


      • City Lights says:

        Couldn’t agree more with the last two posts. I never agree to the first date “appearance fee”. Likewise, a quality SB does not agree to sex.

        I have two regular SBs (I see them both once a week). Neither asked fo the appearance fee. We’ have had great times and great sex every time since !