This is a question that’s just as hard to ask as it is to answer. If you ask your boyfriend if he’s comfortable with you pursuing a sugar relationship and he says no, the answer is clear. But what if he says yes? It can be tough to tell if he really means it, or if he’s just saying what you want to hear.

Discussing a shift into a non-traditional relationship with your partner can be a difficult conversation to have, and sustaining long-term relationships for young couples is challenging as it is. Add sugaring into it, and that makes it doubly so. You’re still learning how to navigate through your combined lives.

So is your boyfriend saying yes because he can’t provide for you yet? Does he think there’s a financial benefit in it for him? Is he saying yes because he feels he doesn’t have a choice? Does he care enough to be hurt, worried or jealous? Does this mean he can sleep with anyone as well? Will he feel emasculated, like he’s not contributing enough to your life? Worry and doubt will begin to creep into this relationship if you proceed with becoming a sugar baby, but will fade over time as communication continues. You need to have a long, hard conversation with him before embarking into the bowl, and then often afterward to make sure you’re both on the same page.

More mature couples may be able to sustain themselves through these multiple relationships, but every couple is different. Many sugar daddies would prefer that their sugar babies be single. It makes it easier to schedule dates, travel, or get togethers. They also want to feel like your provider. It’s hard for them to feel that way if you are already committed to another person. So if you are going to have a boyfriend, make sure you’re honest with you sugar daddy so he can make his own informed choices.

Sugar relationships can last months to years, just like vanilla relationships. Whether you’re looking for your forever partner(s) or something for the here and now, the key to success is in the honest communications you have about your needs.

Now dating while sugaring in a whole ‘nother story and a blog for another day…