1 year ago
Community Guidelines


Welcome to the Seeking Blog! We love interacting with our members and/or potential members, and encourage meaningful discussion about the topics in our comments. However, recently as we moderate our comment section of this blog, we have discovered some discouraging trends—personal attacks; discrimination; trolling; a huge amount of gender-bias; trolling; distribution of personal information; trolling; hostile discussions that, quite frankly, have nothing to do with the topic of the blog; and lastly, trolling. We have such a unique and intriguing member-base with so much to offer, and we think that we all can be held to a much higher standard.

So, we are introducing a set of Community Guidelines that members should adhere to, and violating any of them may result in comment removal or banning. So before you post, take a quick look at our guidelines below. Happy Sugaring!

Blog Community Guidelines

  1. Be respectful.
    Remember that behind each username is a person—be respectful and act the way you would in conversation with any person in real life. Personal attacks, name-calling, etc. will not be tolerated. Treat others the way you’d want to be treated.
  2. No solicitation or spam.
    Any comments soliciting services for money will be removed, as well as any links posted that do not fit within the context of the blog post. If you do post a link to an article or webpage that you believe fits into the conversation, please explain why in your comment.
  3. No trolling.
    Deliberately making comments intended to provoke controversial or emotional reactions and arguments, that do not add to the conversation, will be removed.
  4. Absolutely no hate speech or harassment.
    We have a zero-tolerance policy for discrimination based on gender, race, nationality, religion and/or sexuality, as well as harassment, slurs or threats of violence—making anyone feel unwelcome in our community. Any member who breaks this rule will immediately be banned and comments removed.
  5. No graphic, sexually demeaning language.
    Graphic comments/descriptions about sexual acts are not allowed, as they are not relevant to our blog content. Sexually demeaning language towards others, including name-calling, is also prohibited.
  6. No gender bias.
    Refrain from making wide-sweeping, blanket statements with negative connotations towards men & women, or certain types of Seeking members, as a whole.
  7. Absolutely no identifying or personal information.
    Posting comments that include anyone’s identifying or personal information (usernames on Seeking, full names, phone numbers, addresses, links to social media, etc.), whether or not they are a Seeking member, is strictly forbidden and will result in banning.
  8. No “seeking”—keep it to the website.
    Soliciting arrangements in the comment section is not allowed. We ask that Seeking members use our website for this purpose, not the blog. If you are not a member, sign up here for free.
  9. No discussions regarding monetary value.
    Refrain from discussing specific monetary values for allowances, dates, etc. Monetary arrangements should only be discussed in private. Any language or activity regarding monetary arrangements for sex is a violation of Seeking’s user policy, and therefore this blog, and will result in immediate banning.
  10. Keep on-topic.
    Do not use the comment section as a personal soap box. It is meant for meaningful discussion, concerns and questions about the topic of the post. If you are continually veering off-topic, trolling, etc., this may result in comment removal and/or banning.
*Please note, these guidelines are for the blog comment section. They are not an update to SA’s terms of use, and banning on this blog will not result in your SA account being suspended, as the blog and SA have separate membership bases.

258 Responses to “Community Guidelines”

  1. Sugar says:

    There is a Pakistani sd, a fat guy, who slept with my friend and did not give her a cent of what they had agreed upon. Be careful with that guy. That was in Maryland.

  2. Sugar says:


  3. Anonymous says:

    Can we stop with girls offering fotos and videos for money in the site “because of the pandemia”?

  4. Sensually Ingeniously says:

    I get that this whole “plague/pandemic” is hurting not only myself, but a lot of daddies/mommies/babies from physically meeting each other. My question is, when a daddy/mommy asks for account information to help with a utility bill, to do, or not to do? I keep getting asked for this information, and refuse to give. Help.

    P.s.- Watch out for people asking you to send them money. Do NOT do it.

  5. Doc says:

    Hi there ! With the COVID 19 pandemic hitting our country, a lot of webcam girls and video sites are hitting members hard on SA. To me, an arrangement is about meeting in person. What is SA doing to prevent these webcam girls from soliciting their pics and videos online. I have reported them, but have noticed that their profiles are not being removed.

  6. Luna says:

    The user “adventurousmen” From the Portland/Seattle is a scammer and is dangerous! Do not meet with him. I agreed to meet with him and he became violent and wanted me to give him my amazon account when I refused he insulted me.
    So unprofessional and dangerous!!

  7. BeBeFine says:

    The User: “Trulyhus” from Winter Haven, FL. is a scammer account. All I know is his first name starts with “B” middle initial “J” last name “C”. He specifically wanted me just to call him “Daddy” and tried to steal my account information to “put me on his payroll” and then tried to get me to buy him $50 iTunes gift cards… I was actually trying to find a mentor and he was posing as an Financial Investor but then tried to scam my bank for $2400. It’s a shame for girls that are actually really great and just want a little help and are super grateful for it. I want to meet with CEO’s and Business Owners that aren’t afraid to help a young, beautiful women reach her goals NOT scammers that are going to try to mess up my finances.

  8. Anonymous says:

    How long does it take for my profile to be approved?

  9. Anonymous says:

    It is my opinion that this site will fall apart from the trans guy
    on this site.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Says I must upgrade to premium before I can read messages sent to me but from my past experiances with this website, I should not have to do this

  11. Anonymous says:

    This website is falling apart. So many scammers compared to before – they need to actively weed these people out. So many ‘women’(they could be men scamming too) post profiles and then setup dates – and then ask for money before meeting to ‘show you’re serious’ lol. When I refused, a girl said she needed it for her safety – how would a man sending money make it safer? Exactly… just a scam.

    • SA_Admin says:

      If anyone is asking for money before the meeting, or to send money online, please be sure to report the profile. That way our team can thoroughly investigate and take proper action. Thanks!

      • Anonymous says:

        Why does it take you so long to moderate Dave/Mike/Grandad/Grumpy’s etc comments that break all the blog rules?

  12. Anon says:

    No need to be sorry, your money keep SA running and that makes us SBs very happy

  13. Anonymouse says:

    This would be such a valuable resource but for the persistent trøll infestation.

  14. Anonymous says:

    anon Seeking is not for a guaranteed intimate encounter but it is not for online only either

  15. Sassy says:

    So it looks like it just has stopped being moderated?

  16. Sassy says:

    Definitely talks like him/them

  17. Sassy says:

    Hmm, that’s not true. I actually love spending time with my Daddy. But I guess I’m attracted to him too. ??‍♀️

  18. Anonymous says:


  19. Sweetcheeks says:

    I think only SA users should be able to comment in the blog and their handle should automatically be under their SA profile’s username. I’d probably get banned, but that’s fine as long as the real nasty commenters can’t use SA or this blog anymore too.

    • yougottabekiddingme says:

      Hey Sweetcheeks,

      Why do you say you’d get banned?

      • Sweecheeks says:

        Because I keep calling Mike et al. an !nc*l. Those comments get deleted though. But i’m sure it’d be more convenient for SA to just ban me instead.
        I don’t think profile pics should be shown. I think you should actually have to register some where to comment, whether it be with SA or just the blog.

      • yougottabekiddingme says:

        Not sure if my initial reply will post, but it basically said there was once a well-liked girl who got into it with [email protected], and she and [email protected] both got banned.

        The moderator said that the blog and website operate as two separate entities, and membership status on one doesn’t impact the other.

        Also, M1ke, [email protected], and [email protected] will never go away because this is the only place where they can be miserable and have company, as apparently they can’t get anyone decent to hangout with them in person.

      • Sweetcheeks says:

        Perhaps my original suggestion wouldn’t be the right way to go about dealing with p!g$ like Mike et al, and maybe it’s a good that the SA site and blog are separate. Still, wish there was some way to stop him from writing on here and making SA a bad experience for others.

      • yougottabekiddingme says:

        I agree.

    • Anonymous says:

      that would be OK if they don’t post your photos with the username you do realize people can see what is posted here without being a member or even coming here to the blog don’t you

      • yougottabekiddingme says:


        Good point.

        Though I have seen websites where the blog is linked to the user’s account, and it sort of lends to authenticity as well as self and community policing. Wouldn’t stop some from raising hell from a secondary account, am sure.

      • Anonymous says:


  20. RMSD says:

    why does EVERY (relevant on topic) post I place here small or large so far just say awaiting approval and it never shows public… its been weeks, nothing in my posts merit censorship given the rubbish and flow of personal insults between contributors I am still reading here. How come some people posted like 15 times arguing just with each other and I cannot get one post published about the actual topic in this thread?

  21. Edg says:

    I have verified my email 4 times, yet each time I log in, I am greeted with the same message, to verify my email. When I try support, I cannot start a ticket because it says my email is invalid. I’ve been a member for years and my email hasn’t changed.

  22. Sweetie says:

    You got that right.

  23. Pearljamb says:

    Has anybody ever had a real relationship from this site ?

    • Anonymous says:

      well I’m sure someone has had a real relationship from this site or the business would die but SA is advertising a lot so that tells me they are losing paid membership and the complaints on the review sites are increasing so people are not happy with the way the site is run

    • Chrissty says:

      I have, only once, 3 years ago. Very genuine and loving relationship. Unfortunately my daddy passed away. Real people and connections are very far and between now these days here. But never give up.

      • Anon says:

        Lol what? He died? How old was he?

      • Anon says:

        LOL he passed away. Is this a joke??

      • Anon says:

        I’ve never met anyone over 60 from the site. That’s my limit. I only go over 30 to mid ish 50s. I’m 18.
        The ones in the 40s have a lot of money where I’m from. Theyre lots more fun I find too.
        So any older man in their 40s in this blog, appreciate you 🙂

    • yougottabekiddingme says:


      What you described was more typical for many people, I think. I can appreciate the frustrations of matching in an ideal arrangement considering the current state of SA. I think that Pearljamb’s question and comments from other women suggest that it’s not just men who find the process frustrating. Many men on the site are looking ppm, sporadic flings, and many do not have incomes that would sustain an ongoing arrangement. I think SA has done itself and its members a disservice by playing the numbers game, and casting a wide net which has really only served to dilute its brand with substandard shortgamers. But some of those complaining really don’t stand a chance with a quality person regardless.

    • yougottabekiddingme says:

      Yet you applaud the Daves of the world who tell men how to scam women. There are parallel sites dedicated to teaching men how to become con(fidence) artists.

      There are shitty people are shitty people, here and elsewhere.

    • Anonymous says:

      I had a 4-1/2 year relationship from SA and after that a 1 year relationship

  24. Anonymous says:

    Well I can see these new guidelines are certainly being followed in the comments lol

    • Anonymous says:

      nothing useful being said here any way time to move on

      • Anonymous says:

        also the juice is not worth the squeeze

      • Sweetcheeks says:

        Baby, I turned 20 in September ? While I get through uni and my city internship, how can I be depressed when I have some old fool paying my rent and buying me stuff just for being, as you put it, “young and perky” ?

  25. Duuuuuude says:

    It seems that Online only ladies are growing exponentially. I know that such users can be reported as Inappropriate Use. I am looking for somewhere in the guidelines that state that such use is inappropriate. Any help?

  26. BabyK says:

    Half way through reading the comments and now your definitely emotionally drained?……..your not alone

  27. Anonymous says:

    Do girls ACTUALLY enjoy spending time intimate or not, with these wrinkly, bitter old men??? Imagine these old prunes touching you.. ??? These sb girls must be really desperate or mentally disturbed

    • Anonymous says:

      who knows maybe they do maybe they don’t but no one cares as long as they do it but this is a poor use of the website if they are not enjoying themselves maybe they should do some serious thinking about if they want to be a sugar baby or not

    • Disme says:

      Yeah must be hard for you old trout’s. .i have seen some younger girls with massive stretch marks and massive Cellulite..makes u wanna puke..so goes both ways u old
      faggot and get a life..girls enjoy older men..

      • Anon says:

        i have cellulite and stretchmarks and that’s NEVER been an issue in the bedroom or getting attention when i’m in swimwear. same for most girls to be fair. you’re just a little wuss

      • Sweetcheeks says:

        Actually girls just enjoy having financial freedom to do and obtain whatever they desire. And when still young, they don’t always have the means to fund themselves, so seek it out wherever they can get it

    • Anonymous says:

      true but the women are getting paid to be with old men and your paying for that why

    • Ana says:

      You must be very bitter. My lover is an older man. I’m 20, he’s 65, but he’s the best man and lover ive ever had. I don’t pay any mind to anyone else when with him. To me, he’s young and sometimes I fell, I’d marry him if I could

    • A says:

      I’m actually attracted to older men (18), but not ever bitter men. I knew a bitter 65 yo a good part of my mid teen life. Massive bully and incredibly jealous. Not met anyone I would be with on this site without the finance part if I’m honest. That’s the truth. Even when they’re the nicest people ever. But I know older men off the site who don’t pay for female company and they’re more long term in my life, because they offer more in terms of personality and experience outside the bedroom.

      • Sweetcheeks says:

        I thought so too when I was a kid and society had drilled it into me that old men were hot. You’re going to grow up and look back at when you hooked up with an old man and the thought will make your skin crawl. Happens to me

      • A says:

        Hmm our lives are different and we are different people…
        Your personal reflection will not be mine

      • Sweetcheeks says:

        Sure 🙂

    • A says:

      Uhh not all of us. I’m just a student. My schooling is my life. This is just a way of improving my experience as a student, I get to have a break and I get money for it. Quite a lot, way more than I’d make at 18 at a part time job

    • A says:

      wait not all of us!
      I’m just a student, my schooling is my life. I use this site to improve my experience as a student. In return I get a well needed break from my difficult course and I get given quite a lot from it. actually more than I can think of. More than I would ever make as an 18 yo part time worker.

    • A says:

      hey not all of us!

    • A says:

      I’m just a student. My education is my life. This site is here to improve my experience as a student

    • A says:

      In return I get to take a break from a difficult course, and I get to meet people and I’m making quite a lot from it. More than Ill ever need. More than I could ever as an 18yo part time worker

    • Anon says:

      What happens when you get older and inevitably wrinkly? Does that mean you’re no longer worthy of being wanted? We’re all gunna get old. I hope people don’t puke at the site of me when I’m in my 50s ?

      • Anonymous says:

        Maybe if you have enough self-confidence when you’re old, you won’t feel the need to chase girls decades younger than you and their taunts won’t bother you. And maybe if you don’t become an entitled old bag, you won’t get angry and bitter when girls don’t feel attracted to your shrivelled up self. good luck!

    • j says:

      I notice i replied to 3 things and they all got censored, none of them violated the guidelines.

    • Anonymous says:

      Wemon have been used as sexual tools there whole exsistance, at least on this site they have a choice and it’s none of your business with who or why. So shut it!

  28. James says:

    The key is to just make sure you get what you want, if you are an SD, especially a young one (i am), who can buy basically 99% of things… then you have the pick of the litter in life (especially if you are handsome and tall), bottom line, they need me or us, vs we needing them. We are the 1%, they are the 99… it’s supply and demand, so go through the matches till you find what you want. If the site can’t meet those needs than dont be here as it is a waste of time to be here. Use a pro matchmaker, or use a different service.

  29. Anonymous says:

    Oh, that’s interesting, what is ‘vibeing’ **sp

  30. yougottabekiddingme says:

    It appears you’re batting out of your league, Sir.

  31. Anon says:

    Dave has been replaced by Tim.

  32. Anon says:

    I think you underestimate just how many young successful men are on SA (I consider 18-37 as young). They are not as elusive as you think so trust me, the girls aren’t exactly short of options. And I am glad SA doesn’t have a policy saying girls have to be intimate with every man they meet because I’m only open to intimacy with young men I have chemistry with and strictly only platonic with the old guys. I have had a platonic arrangement with a 43 year old man who helped me through first year at uni and i have one non-platonic with a 26 year old right now which will come to an end in February after 2 years.

  33. Anonymous says:

    i see the community is still here and active but no one is talking about the blog topic? What they are discussing is useless whining about the members of the site on here won’t change anything this use to be a great site where you can easily find what you want it is no longer that way so it is time to move on good luck in your search you will need it on here

  34. Kay says:

    Not shaming it’s the truth. If you’re ashamed of it then that’s your problem

  35. Kay says:

    Old, unattractive and bitter. Soon be dead or in a home 🙂

  36. Kay says:

    Thanks for confirming you’re unattractive too. I will add that to bitter and old 🙂

  37. Filtersrus says:

    Wow, at 58 yrs old, I was just given a lecture as to what a traditional SD/SB relationship was by a 20 yr old.

  38. Disme says:

    What on earth does this mean I see it a lot on profiles now..
    “call me, beep me and pay me”..wtf ??


    Tired of girls only wanting ONLINE ONLY arrangements. SA put a stop to this or you will lose a ton of paying customers, me included

  40. Anonymous says:

    How bad do someone treat you to generalize in this way?

  41. Anonymous says:


  42. Anonymous says:

    I think it would be better for you to save money and start sponsoring studies for the invention of a time machine. Maybe you don’t belong here.

  43. Anonymous says:

    True, one is in his sixties and the other in his forties. Two very different people.

  44. Eni says:

    The amount of fake SDs here is crazy. Is there a link where fake profiles are identified or bad experiences?

    • SA_Admin says:

      Hi there! If you come across a profile asking or offering an “online only” profile, please be sure to report them so that our support team can investigate the account and take the proper action. Thanks!

  45. Hungry for a real woman says:

    The complexity of being a sugar daddy in today’s dating climate is causing me to completely isolate myself . What was once a stress free way of enjoying a females’ is company is morphing into a chore.

  46. Anonymous says:

    He’s so bitter, comes across as the typical stereotype for old people.

  47. Kay says:

    No they just hate you cause you’re old and unattractive

  48. Kay says:

    That’s utter crap

  49. Michael says:

    What’s with all the new platonics and online only girls? This site seems to be dominated by them now. Apparently lots of guys on here go for that sort of thing. And when they do say they’ll meet they want stupid amounts (ie anything over £0) for a meet and greet, or to make themselves look nice for me.

    • Anonymous says:

      There are plenty of SDs looking for platonic. I have two going right now

    • Jen says:

      My SDs were looking for platonic, so was I. There is something for everyone.

    • Jen says:

      And yet my past SDs and I were satisfied with our platonic arrangement. I got support through university and they had company for certain events.

    • Anonymous says:

      Jen nothing wrong with someone looking for platonic as long as they state that in their profile that is what their looking for if someone is not looking for platonic they can skip over to the next profile and not waste time on that profile

    • Anonymous says:

      yes most men don’t want platonic but if you or others can find that kind of relationship no harm in that you just do you if other commenters have a problem with that this is their problem not yours

  50. Kay says:

    Heard it all before *yawn*

  51. Anon says:

    You’re definitely just using a different name as one of the men here previously
    Never seen you here before and nobody was born yesterday on here

  52. yougottabekiddingme says:

    Certain people (but mostly one) on this blog have been known to post under multiple screen names. In the past the shady tactic was not so much to get people banned, but to support the person’s arguments by portraying the person in such a way that validates their position. Lame and desperate antics. At the peak mania and vengeance, multiple usernames and copied usernames will be used to cause chaos and create confusion so that everything and nothing makes sense, and then everyone tires of this space, and leaves, leaving only the culprit individual here to wallow in their despair and destruction, rambling amuck a perpetual monologue of rabid attacks. Until they begin to feel lonely, isolated, and dejected, at which point they will turn to scamming and mistreating as many people as they can so as to regain a sense of power and victory over those to whom they attribute their misfortune in this arena.

    SA blocked this post last week when I tried to post it. But alas, here it unfolds. Good work, fine people. Very fine people.

  53. yougottabekiddingme says:

    Nope. Not true, Mike.

  54. Anon says:

    Grace totally soiled you in an argument and you’re still mentioning her name lol. You sound bothered

  55. Not Insane says:

    Women here seem to like to call themselves “open minded” a lot. Is “open minded” a millennial code for something? When I see it used so often by so many, I wonder if it has taken on some new, non-traditional sense of the words. Or is this an “OK boomer” question? 😉

  56. Dadgoogy says:

    How many hours will I have to wait for to be able to send messages after spam limit ban.

  57. Anonymous says:

    Brandon wade says to not use the site if your desperate so if the girls on here are financially desperate they shouldn’t be on here so stop blaming others for you situation Sweetcheeks is not so Sweet

  58. Amara says:

    I hope you make another post soon to see the interaction between those who comment here.

  59. Narumi says:

    I have noticed my hide member feature does not work.I would rather not block people. that seems rude. Can anyone offer any help on this? Thank you.


    Nice post

  61. Anonymous says:

    Has something changed in the signup process for specifying location? Why are so many of my search results just giving the state and not the city now? Its making the site hard to use.

  62. Anonymous says:

    Bye, Dave ?

  63. RMSD says:

    So, with more than 20 years experience of forum moderation I posted a wholly ‘on-topic’ thoughtful piece this week in response to this article, relating it precisely to the history of comments in this blog, and offering relevant advice specific to SA’s current comments on moderating.. and guess what? – they deleted it.. that’s not moderation that’s just self interest censorship; don’t you guys care about accuracy or editorial balance or fair comment, or is this just an SA propaganda outlet and reader’s comments are only required from sycophants? (you will probably delete this too I guess)

  64. Anonymous says:

    I will miss reading Dave and Mike’s comments. I say this without any hint of sarcasm.

  65. Amara says:

    I will miss reading Dave and Mike’s comments. I say this without any hint of sarcasm.

  66. Amara says:


  67. Sassy says:

    Bye, Dave ?

  68. RM says:

    As an experienced game forum and travel forum moderator for more than 2 decades it is plainly obvious (as you, moderator) have admitted several times) that whoever is now newly attempting to mod this blog has little or no experience of how to handle this kind of work. Part of the problem has arisen from the fact that for years ANY response or comment from SA staffers has been entirely absent from these blog comments, and so effectively the ‘chickens have ruled the roost’ so to speak.

    Naturally this has (like all un-moderated online places) then allowed conversation to degenerate into its natural low-level worst, where personal insult and denigration have generally been to the fore. Simply imposing ‘blanket’ moderation at this stage is not the best policy, and indeed the new ‘terms and conditions’ laid down read so draconian as to make the purpose of any blog comments almost redundant, as almost anything other than vague platitudes or praise of SA will be considered ‘negative’ or unsuitable.

    Have you ever asked yourself as a team WHY these seemingly often innocuous articles provoke such vehement and often far off-topic responses? It’s not just the fact that a few trolls or ‘ragers’ have too much time on their hands and bicker with each other or ‘gang up’ to derail the topic (which is one main element) but also that, putting it plainly but respectfully, the content of the articles themselves are often so bland, gender biased (primarily focused on women’s concerns) that men’s reactions are often to ‘lash out’ with some sort of ‘reality check’ response.

    Thus when all one reads here are articles where the obvious theme is that ‘girls need to take care to avoid this or that other behaviour’ from men, or that ‘these are the benefits’ (for women) in sugar dating then naturally men feel that there is no avenue for them to ever contribute by pointing out that the ‘reality’ of life on the site is VERY different from the ‘marketing’ slant employed by staff writers in these blog pieces. In general I have noted that SA’s Twitter content output has lately become ‘slightly’ more balanced and now posts clearly aimed at BOTH men and women, but these blogs have long been seen as an arena for SA ‘saccharine sweet’ content aimed almost exclusively at a female readership and so have received an out of proportion backlash.

    My point therefore, is that if SA will focus on making the blog articles fit your OWN gender unbiased and balanced rules as quoted here then the reaction to content might be more moderate. However SA ‘mods’ might try to dampen down (mostly male) reaction to the blogs, it will not ignore the fact that (although you try to claim the blog is unrelated to the site) the issues from the site that perplex both men and women have NO OUTLET on SA other than these blogs. The lack of customer interaction or feedback with men by SA is virtually total. You hold ‘sugar baby’ summits and events and questionnaires and all sorts of PR promotions but male subscribers (your core revenue generators) generally feel isolated and the belief is that all SA cares about from men is that revenue. How can a site with so many claimed ‘millions’ of members have so little feedback or interactive discussion with its core paying membership?

    While SA’s business model relies on generating huge female free membership supposedly to attract paying male customers, and the only journalistic outlet is focused on women, and 99% written by women staffers I don’t believe that simply ‘hard modding’ this blog will address any core issues. You will end up with a ‘sanitised’ blog (by force) which does nothing other than ‘appear in order’ because you enforce it. It’s apparent already from moderator comments here that you have neither the time nor expertise to manage that level of aggressive modding anyways.

    Forum moderation is not like riot policing, it is an art to maintain good ‘moderate’ reactive but value added conversation and BUILD an audience which sees the merit of that, and mostly self maintains. DON’T just censor out MY comment piece here because I thought about it some detail to try to help you; it’s meant to open your eyes and try to achieve something of value, so if all you do is delete it (because it doesn’t say what you want to hear that’s all ‘nice SA, good SA, well done’ then you are not moderating you are just imposing blind authority. Remember where the word ‘moderator’ comes from…

  69. SD with open eyes says:

    Is it against community guidelines to post under multiple handles to support or argue with oneself?

  70. Poetry says:

    Seeing As I Like The Blogs And Like To Read Everyone’s Comments/Opinions..I Get Why Men And Women Alike Have A Problem With The Opposite Sex On Here..Most Men Run Into Woman Who Want A PPM With Allowance And No Actual Desire To Pursue Anything But Platonic Relationships..I Know This Because I Have A Few Friends Who Are On Here Who Do It And Might I Point Out Has Gotten Them Nowhere..Men Have Caught On..And I Also Understand The Woman Seeing As I Am One On This Site And Have Come Across Many Weery Men Who Have Become Not Only Rude But Obnoxiously Cautious When Even Starting A Conversation And It Makes It Hard For Those Such As Myself Who Are Genuinely Looking For A SD/SB Type Of Relationship..The Guidelines Are Fair And Make Sense But The Purpose Of A Blog Is To Stay Opinion And Having A Comment Section Is Opening It To Others Opinions..People Are Frustrated With The BSers Of This Site And Are Voicing It Here..

  71. Anonomys says:

    Only generous men should be allowed on here
    No salt daddies??

  72. SD with open eyes says:

    Sorry if this is slightly off topic, but I have noticed that there are two profiles in my “viewed me” stream that will not stay hidden. I hide them, it says “profile hidden”, I navigate to a new page, I come back and the profiles are still in the feed. The other hidden profiles will stay hidden. It’s kind of creepy.

  73. Anonymous says:

    Majority of them if not all.
    All they do is complain and bash men!

  74. Anonymous says:

    i hope they change the blog topic soon this is getting boring

  75. A says:

    Actually, i’m a woman and a lot of my comments have been deleted as well.

  76. SA_Admin says:

    Mike, please tell me which comments are “women raging” on this post and I will moderate them appropriately.

  77. SA_Admin says:

    Many comments are not being approved as they are not on-topic. This is not a violation of your freedom of speech, as the owners of this blog we have the right to moderate it as we see fit. Also, you do not know my gender, nor will I tell you what it is. I work on a team equally made up of both men & women, who all worked on and approved these guidelines.

  78. SA_Admin says:

    As stated in the disclaimer at the end of the page, this blog is totally separate from SAs terms of use and is not a set of guidelines for SA, only for the blog.

  79. SA_Admin says:

    Mike, if you don’t care about the guidelines and won’t abide by them, then the easy fix here is to just ban you from the blog’s comment section.

  80. SA_Admin says:

    Mike, the guidelines are here to keep conversation on-topic, to prevent personal attacks, hateful speech & discrimination. We had someone contact us a few days ago with a question regarding safety after reading the “Tips for Safety” post, but after reading through some of the 730+ comments, they felt uncomfortable and unwelcome to ask their question. This is unacceptable and this is exactly what we are trying to prevent with the guidelines. If we make a post about scams – and if you just wait because a little birdie has told me there is a very high likelihood of a post about scams coming soon – then you are more than welcome to discuss on that post.

  81. sB says:

    From browsing I’ve seen you comment so many times over and over. Trust me I think SA admin and the whole world know of the problems. We’re all just bored of hearing it.
    When someone bangs on about something there comes a point when you just want them to shut up
    Think this point has been reached no offence

  82. Filtersrus says:

    Findom is a legitimate lifestyle and isn’t against Community guidelines. Some guys are into that. Scarcer than teeth on a chicken but there are those out there…

  83. Anonymouse says:

    Why would you stop subscribing to SA because of moderation on this board? There’s a link there that I’m not seeing.

    Also, is that a 1990’s Matrix reference?

  84. yougottabekiddingme says:

    I would like to recommend the following blog topics:

    •My Sugar Life Sucks

    •My Actual Life Sucks

    •Why, Mom?!

    •Platonic Sugar and Other Mutations of the Bubonic Plague


    •Cha-Ching! The Pavlovian Bell(e) of Sugar

    Thank you for considering.

  85. yougottabekiddingme says:

    Slowest exodus ever.

  86. Dave says:

    Stop paying SA

  87. Kxxx says:

    I don’t normally comment on here but seeing some of the comments about platonic arrangements has prompted me to say something.

    There is nothing wrong with platonic arrangements. I am a 20 yr old sb and have already had two successful platonic arrangements in the past and am now looking for another. Just because YOU don’t want a platonic arrangement doesn’t mean the same for every other sd.

  88. Anonymous says:

    Bye ??

  89. Anonymouse says:

    $90 a month doesn’t entitle you to be disrespectful.

    It’s a big internet and I’m sure that you can find a place to share your complaints.

    • Anonymous says:

      actually there is no place for a man to complain but i agree $90 a month doesn’t entitle anyone to be disrespectful name calling is not necessary to get a point across

    • Anonymous says:

      mike there are bad things happening on the site but complaining about them on here won’t change anything you can vote with your wallet also you can go offsite it’s not that hard to meet a woman if you have money plus you don’t have to pay a allowance then

  90. A says:

    Arrangements don’t have to be s*xual; it is for the individuals involved to decide whether it is or not. Either way, SA allows it’s users to make that choice for themselves by having different features. If it were strictly a site for people to meet and have s*x, then it would just be another escort site.

  91. Sweetcheeks says:

    Why is Mike’s comments not being moderated? He is trying to dictate how the blog should be in one comment, swearing in another. Nothing is being done, so what’s the point of having these guideline?

    • Anonymous says:

      Calling a guy mental isn’t that a direct attack? Or am I the only one noticing that’s shes trying to call him psycho? Weird how they beg for guidelines but they don’t want to abide by them.

      • SA_Admin says:

        Anonymous, technically I only work Monday-Fridays. I had a feeling I should make sure things weren’t falling apart over here though, so I am taking my personal time right now to do this. Please be patient with us.

    • A says:

      ‘A’ is my name don’t steal it ! 🙁

    • SA_Admin says:

      Sweetcheeks, technically I only work Monday-Fridays. I had a feeling I should make sure things weren’t falling apart over here though, so I am taking my personal time right now to do this. Please be patient with us. Also, profanity isn’t against the guidelines – unless it’s used as part of a personal attack, harassment, discrimination, etc.

      • Sweetcheeks says:

        Moderator, can’t you see there’s a gender war going on here??? You can’t just have the weekend off! I’m only kidding You deserve a break. Maybe you should just ban the misogynists on here so the blog would be a lot more pleasant and you wouldn’t have to take time out of your weekend to moderate it.

  92. Charlixcv says:

    For anyone discouraged by what’s on the site don’t be. Many dating sites are the same I’ve heard, this one is just more open about the money part. Personally if you’re young, sweet and nice and for the man if you’re just a good guy then there’s nothing to worry about. 95% of people I’ve met from here even if it didn’t go further were really nice men. And would have made great sds to some other girl. The men I’ve met also have had and met great girls. So the feedback on here seems like it comes from a small percentage of unfortunate people, or those who choose to dwell on the negative
    Your experience is not experienced across the whole site by majority of men, if so it seems they get over it easily. I rarely hear bad stories from sds, and it was getting so tedious seeing the boring comments so unrelated to the articles

    Everyone forgets this site works because of both the males and females. Not one or the other but both. I’d like to shed light for both sd and sb. I’m young and to some sd a perfect sb. But none of you ever talk about good stuff, it’s all dark and intense in these comments.
    Charli, 18, London

  93. Jess says:

    Don’t think they care Mike nor does anyone else. You men on this thread probably make up less than a percent of the men on the site. Your $3000 isn’t much of a loss to them
    There are plenty more men on the site, just walk away. Admin team won’t lose any sleep 🙂

    • Anon says:

      Everyone isn’t going to leave. Wailing on about women and whatever else you have an issue with on SA and yet you’re still here.

    • Jess says:

      Let’s think logically now 🙂 that’s not going to happen…
      Some people on this site actually get what they’re looking for

    • Jess says:

      They’re really not
      That’s majority of the men messaging me.

    • Jess says:

      I don’t know where you get your stats from. But as I said if you’re young and good looking and nice then the offers are great. I didn’t even know men offered less than $$$ that’s quite sad for whoever has been offered that

    • yougottabekiddingme says:

      Wondering is she interpreted your reference to $$$ monthly allowance as 3-digits

    • Jess says:

      Mike you’re talking, as we say in the UK, utter bollocks
      Like I said before, and it’s simple to understand
      If you’re not young, hot and simply a nice human being (v important)
      Then, yes expect the low offers the women you speak to get
      It’s that simple
      Experiences that are better than yours don’t mean they’re a false reality
      Or an example of men ’luring’
      Once you start to realise people on here have greater experiences on SA then who knows maybe you’ll stop going on like everyone has this horrible experience you do

    • Jess says:

      And I certainly am not desperate enough to go out searching for men with high incomes, how sad
      I talk to everyone I can in my inboxes, the key to that is being a decent human being
      Once you’re not then the value of people you attract is only a reflection of the value you’re portraying yourself to be
      My experience here has been very good, a lot of people are actually nice and decent

    • Jess says:

      Apparently you’re one of these men and yet you are the only one on this thread complaining
      As I said there are plenty on men on the site, decent ones at that
      Your $3000 won’t be missed

    • Jess says:

      everyone is replaceable…
      no one is losing sleep over a high earner leaving the site

    • James says:

      Supply and demand. Its nothing more than a market. Men on here that are the true 1%, lets say income 50k or more per month, or net worth 5m or more, very rare in the world, and especially rarer if they are good looking and tall.

    • KidA says:

      From that, I guess you aren’t one of them. I suggest eHarmony.

  94. yougottabekiddingme says:


    Under a previous interface, blog comments used to appear in a chronological order. I find the current layout difficult to follow as well. I think the idea was for the most recent posts to appear first. However, if I am just coming into a blog topic, I generally scroll to the bottom, and try to get cohesive context as I read up. It’s not been particularly practical, in my experience.

  95. pat says:

    Please moderate the comments as much as you can, as some comments in the past have really put a lot of people off on the idea of joining the site.

    • SA_Admin says:

      We’re sorry to hear that – we saw that things were getting out of hand, so with this post & from here on out – creating a moderated, on-topic comment section for meaningful discussion, where everyone feels welcome, is our goal!

      • Filtersrus says:

        I think what Pat is asking here is to moderate the previous thread for content, and I would agree. You can wipe it without banning since the content was ” pretty community guidelines “. The longer it stays up, the more it shines like a beacon to dissuade others from joining in the conversation. Just my .02

      • SA_Admin says:

        Dear Filtersrus, while I would love nothing more than to wipe that previous post clean – moderating isn’t my only responsibility at SA – and going through 730+ comments at this point is something that we simply don’t have the time to do, so we decided to start fresh & move forward here. Maybe one day when we do have the time that will be something we do, because you’re right, some of the stuff there is just not good.

      • yougottabekiddingme says:


        Meh, it’s not flattery. It’s called the building isn’t actually burning down, so no need for wailing and arm flailing.

      • Filtersrus says:

        Rome was built one brick at a time, and I misspoke. I really meant ALL the previous threads (some of which might be easier to tackle) the most recent is just the most egregious..??

  96. Anonymous says:

    Thank you!! About timw!

  97. Dave says:

    Admin deletes my comments and where I am addressing men but she left up the comment about incel an entire
    Day .

    • SA_Admin says:

      Dave, I have never disclosed my gender, nor will I. The team that I work on is a team of both men & women. If you are referring to a comment on Tips on Dating Safely, we are not moderating that post as we are starting with this one – which is meant to be a fresh start – because the comments of that particular post have gotten out of control. To the point where we had someone contact us to say they had a question/comment about safety but didn’t feel comfortable posting because of the hostility and completely off-topic bickering going on there. We would hope that SA members would also work with us to make sure that doesn’t happen again, as it is simply unacceptable.

  98. SA_Admin says:

    Dave, as the owners of this blog we have the right to moderate this blog as we see fit. We want all hostility and gender bias to stop, and for meaningful conversation about our blog post topics to take place.

  99. yougottabekiddingme says:


    I think it’s more about having a space to discuss experiences without abusive language and trolling.

    I do agree that SA should consider the input shared by members here in informing implementations on the website. But that input need not be abusive and alienating and disruptive to the overall enjoyment of the blog space. I do appreciate that the blogspace is the most accessible and transparent platform that users may have to voice frustrations.

    In an ideal blogspace, the standards would be policed by the community in a decentralized manner, less harmonious spaces sometimes requires intervention from a moderator. Contrary to another poster’s comment, I hope that moderator isn’t kept “up all night” with endless moderation of posts from people who simply refuse to cooperate and demonstrate the ability to engage in productive and constructive discourse about valid frustrations and challenges with the site and with relationships, though said frustrations and challenges can not be (and shouldn’t be expected to be) completely mediated by SA or the blog moderator.

    Perhaps the next blog topic can address the site features.

    As per the blog and the blog topic …

    The blog topic has generally served as an information piece and conversation starter. As with conversations in social settings in the physical world, conversations diverge and segue into other relevant topics. That is different than soap boxing topics to satisfy one’s own agenda.

  100. yougottabekiddingme says:


    Thank you for you attention to the blog community, and for your intention with the community guidelines.

    Im thinking it could also be helpful to include an asterisked reference and link to the blog guidelines at the close of each new blog topic: “***Click here to review our Community Guidelines before posting.***” Or something like that, so that new and past posters are aware of the guidelines, and so that all are aware with each new posted topic.

    • Filtersrus says:

      From what I have seen with SAdmins recent responses here, it would appear rich HTML text doesn’t translate to an actual link. Or are you referring to a line of verbiage that is part of the backbone of the actual page??? If so, not a bad idea, not bad at all ??

      • yougottabekiddingme says:


        Yeah, maybe as backbone as part of the page, though am not sure what that would look like. Am not especially tech savvy, but what I imagine is a hyperlink to this blog that can be embedded into each new blog topic. There have been some posts from SA_Admin that instructed, “click here,” though I was not able to see any link on my end. Not sure if it appears in the desktop interface. O did notice that there was mention of the posting of links in the guidelines, which I thought was interesting because posts with links have been moderated out for some time now.

      • Filtersrus says:

        I thought it odd that the admin in their posts were giving a supposed Click Here link that was dead as a doornail. Now I learned something. Fancy that ??

      • SA_Admin says:

        Oops, sorry I didn’t know it wasn’t working! I am slightly new to this moderation platform, I’ll be sure to publish the actual links & URLs in the future.

      • Sassy says:

        There was one that I saw that said click here and it didn’t look like a hyperlink but it did actually work.

  101. Dan says:

    This “platonic” thing is going to bring SA down. Every other girl here is about not offering anything physical but ready to talk and give company. I’m sure 99% of men here are looking for a lover and not a counselor.

    • SA_Admin says:

      Per item 10 of these guidelines, please keep your comments on topic. This post is simply about the blog’s comment guidelines, not SA’s website or its terms of use.

    • SA_Admin says:

      Like we have mentioned above, this blog is not a personal soapbox and it is meant for conversations about the posts. There is good reason for this. For example, the Tips for Dating Safely post is absolutely overrun (over 730 comments) with off-topic comments, personal attacks, discrimination, trolling and gender bias – so anyone who is truly interested or has a question about safety may feel completely unwelcome to leave a comment, or they see that the comments aren’t about safety – so again, they decide not to leave a comment and get their question answered. That is what we are trying to prevent.

      • SA_Admin says:

        And sure enough, we had someone contact us today about wanting to make a comment/ask a question in that post about safety, but didn’t feel comfortable because of what is occurring in that comment section. That is simply unacceptable and exactly why we published these guidelines & will be moderating much more intensely. We would hope that SA members would agree that this it unacceptable that the conversation led someone to feel uncomfortable enough to not post their legitimate comment/question about safety, and work with us to make sure that never happens again.

    • Anonymous says:

      well there is no rule in the guideline that says we have to pay for platonic so if you don’t like it don’t pay for it the problem is with the website not the blog what we say here will not make that go away

    • pat says:

      Sorry but I can’t help but comment on this. Dan basic logic disagrees. The platonic tag only encourages more sb membership. And it’s worth considering the fact that people can actually change their mind down the track. Surely more sb membership is a good thing, and if you see the platonic tag move on and look for the tags that spell it out. But further to my previous post, I can’t think of any decent sb that would tolerate someone complaining about someone wanting only platonic. And then it gets to the point as admin has illustrated where they get outright scared by the comments. If I ran this I would have to think twice about actually allowing any comments at all.

    • @SA_Admin says:

      If you made people use their SA screen name here, with the threat of ban on SA also, this problem would clear up fast

  102. SA_Admin says:

    If someone has nothing nice or civil to say, then we ask that they don’t say it.

  103. SA_Admin says:

    Per item 10 above, please stay on-topic. This post is about the Community Guidelines of the blog’s comment section.

    • SA_Admin says:

      Mike, I have never disclosed my gender, nor will I. The team that I work on is a team of both men & women. If you have been scammed or suspect a scam, please contact SA through their contact page with any details you have – even if the members have blocked you and you can’t report them in the typical way – so we can take action and make SA the best it can be. We need to work together with our members, so we ask for your help by reporting.

    • SA_Admin says:

      We are being courteous by letting you know now what will/won’t be approved here now in the blog’s comment section and expect members to be courteous as well, we have such confidence in our wonderful member base that we think we can easily all hold ourselves to this higher standard. But if you’d rather, we can just ban you from the blog comment section altogether.

  104. Sweetcheeks says:

    Very glad to see the comments sections of the blog will be moderated. There were some really nasty and actually concerning comments, from two individuals in particular, who were making this place a very unpleasant for SBs reading the blogs/comments.

    • Filtersrus says:

      And here you go starting off the comments that you complain about. I am reminded of “physician heal thyself “. SMH

    • Filtersrus says:

      What part of Guideline number 5 was not understood?? Insulting name calling referencing one’s alleged sexual status is just as bad as what you complain about

    • SA_Admin says:

      Dear Sweetcheeks, thank you for your feedback! Unfortunately I do have to remove one word from your comment because it violates the guidelines, I hope you understand. We just want to keep it totally civil in this space.

    • SA_Admin says:

      The original comment has been moderated and words that violated the guidelines removed.

    • SA_Admin says:

      Okay everyone, now that the comment has been moderated, let’s keep the rest of the comments on-topic – they will be removed if they aren’t.

    • Anonymouse says:

      If you really have dozens of women wanting a slice of some sweet, sweet Mike, how do have the time or the motivation to care about comments on a blog?

  105. Filtersrus says:

    I am going to toss another suggestion at you. Have a blog post about what features or feature improvements your members might like to see

    • Anonymous says:

      that is a good ideal but maybe we just need a chat room few people talk about the subject on the post

      • SA_Admin says:

        We’re always open to hearing what you’d like to see talked about on the blogs, as long as it doesn’t steer conversation way off-topic. Thank you Filtersrus for the suggestion! I have it entered into our blog pitches.

      • Anonymous says:

        i would like to hear what members think would make a arrangement better a lot of talk about bags and travel and that is good but what about the length of the arrangement that is ideal or does it matter what style laid back or very active everyone has different tastes but it would be interesting to find out what people prefer

      • SA_Admin says:

        That’s another great idea, thank you! I’ve written it down for our blog pitches.

      • yougottabekiddingme says:


        “Have a blog post about what features or feature improvements your members might like to see.”

        I agree! I imagine that SA isbusing data analytics and executive consulting to inform their decisions about features and feature improvements. I think there’s much to be gained from the input of members. I hope they’ll consider it!


        “I would like to hear what members think would make an arrangement better.”


      • Filtersrus says:

        @yougotta aw shucks.. kicking grain of sand… flattery will get you everywhere. I tend to think that as user friendly as the site can be made, the more likely users, including female users would be more willing to buy premium memberships. Where that ties into this blog, is that if community guidelines can be fashioned here to clean up this blog, there HAS to a way to do similar on the main platform.

  106. Filtersrus says:

    First!!!!! Thank you for clarification of what is and is not allowed on these blogs. Hopefully you will be open to suggestions as to other areas you may not have considered