6 months ago
How to Vet Your POTs


You put together an amazing profile that is bringing you tons of emails per day. What do you do now? Do you spend hours each day reading messages, looking up profiles and answering all of your messages? NO! So, how do you sort out the emails that just seem to pile up as the days go by? And most importantly, how do you guess which POT is going to be a better investment?

Here are my top 10 TIPS for you to navigate your message inbox. Good luck!

TIP #1. Delete all messages that have zero words.

No introduction? Why should you answer? Just like many other dating sites, the faux pas of sending a “hey” or equally bleak message should let you know that this person is not worth your time. With our site, when someone messages you with a “Request to View Your Private Pictures,” this can feel the same, but it may just indicate a busy Daddy or someone who doesn’t quite know how to flirt. So give them the benefit of the doubt, send them a message (before sharing your photos) and see if they reply!

TIP #2. Stop messaging if they don’t respond.

You are on a Sugar site to find a Sugar Daddy/Baby. What in the world are you doing engaging with people who do not respond?! There are zero reasons to speak to any person on this site that does not give you the time of day.

If a Sugar Daddy is not responding, he may not have a premium membership. In order to see if the member you are writing to is a paid member, you will need to upgrade your account. You can read more about the benefits of a premium here.

TIP #3. Escort & Prostitution Emails

Any man who is outright asking you to exchange sex for money is looking for a prostitute and not for a Sugar Babe. Report these profiles immediately and block them. Our community is about connecting successful and wealthy men with attractive and usually younger Sugar Babes who are considering support, in order to achieve their financial and business goals. Seeking is not about facilitating prostitution and it is not an escort service. These men are in violation of the service agreement.

TIP #4. Abusive Messages

Any message that tries to shame you, that tries to be mean to you, that says mean things to you, and ANY message that is rude in any way, REPORT it. Many men are on the site looking to insult women because they are just mentally ill, sick individuals. Remember that some stranger’s verbal abuse on the Internet is nothing more than a coward hiding behind a screen. Their negative words have nothing to do with who you are as a human being and everything to do with who they are: abusive losers.

TIP #5. Requests for an Immediate Phone Call

Any message that includes a phone number and is asking you to text and call them immediately, might deserve you taking a deep breath and keep the conversation ON THE SITE longer, just to make sure this isn’t some strange creep who cannot afford their membership. Remember, these are strangers. You do not know who you’re giving your number to. (Talkatone is an app that will give you a free burner phone. Protect your identity until the man has earned your trust. Don’t be naive. Be cautious at all times.)

TIP #6. Nice, Polite Messages

A message that has a nice tone, that has a nice introduction, that shows that they read your profile, and is engaging you into nice and polite conversation, deserves for you to take a look at their profile. Up until this point, all prior messages need to be reported, deleted, and blocked. When you finally receive a nice message, take the time to consider this POT. If his profile confirms that he is looking at what you’re looking for, then, consider sending him a message back. Before getting off the site, make sure to ask plenty of questions to make sure that you both are a good match.

TIP #7. Verified and Background Checked Profiles

Always give priority to messages with men who have verified their background, are Diamond members, and who have been part of the community for many years. These men might be experienced SDs, who know how to properly treat an SB.

TIP #8. Be prepared with your Q&As.

Have a set of questions ready and a set of pre-thought out answers before you start answering any of your messages? Ask what types of dates they’re looking for. Ask what types of financial compensation they’re willing to provide. Ask their SD experience. Ask as much information as you want, to feel comfortable, BEFORE giving your number out. Keep the conversation as long as possible on the site. This will ensure that you have evidence of your conversations and you will let the man know that you don’t just go around giving out your number to any stranger. Also, have the answers prepared. This will also help you save time by copy and pasting, instead of having to type the same questions and the same answers over and over again.

TIP #9. You Want What You Want

Make sure that your age preferences, ethnic preferences, religious preferences, married or not married, etc. Make sure that your entire profile is filled out correctly so that these men know upfront that you’re NOT looking for married men, for men over 30, etc. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU STATING YOUR PREFERENCES. Men do this all of the time on their profiles. They only like certain types of girls. It is important that you check their profiles for their specifications, to make sure that you’re only answering men who fit your search criteria.

Another benefit of having a premium membership is searching based on your specific taste and criteria. For example, with a premium profile, you can search for specific profile text, see if they are premium (and can reply), their body type, net worth, and much more. So make sure you state on your profile what you want, and then you can search for it too!

TIP #10. Have a FaceTime before your first date, if you can.

If you receive a message from a POT that you like, he is a Premium member, and his profile looks great, the next step is to set up a date. I strongly suggest that you schedule a FaceTime call before you leave your house to go and meet him. By doing this, you are able to take a look at who you will be meeting and make sure that he looks like who he says he is. I don’t suggest that you go out into dates blindly. With a FaceTime call, you can take a look at their house in the background, their car, their office, etc. They will have a chance to see you and you will have a chance to get a good or bad “vibe” from the man that you’re looking at.

Use these tips and limit the number of time wasters you meet. Of course, it can be fun to have a bad date or two. But no more than that. If you have any tips you want to share, please leave them in the comments below. Now, go forth and sugar!

Leave a Reply

227 Responses to “How to Vet Your POTs”

  1. Tiff says:

    So I just signed up like less than a month ago.. I’ve grown a bit frustrated, because I actually like older men, So although the perks are a huge plus it’s not just about that for me I want an organic connection just minus the drama of a traditional relationship and more fun. Most of these guys are discussing sex with me with out even meeting me which Is a turn off. I no where near want a online/platonic relationship but I’m also not a hooker so the sex talk after just seeing my photos obviously is not organic at all. I also keep getting guys that just want to text me for days or hours on end but not meet. I don’t mean to sound impatient but I rather meet and see if I like them then text for hours, I don’t even do that with my own friends half of the time lol. Idk did I put something wrong in my profile why am I attracting these men who are not serious about finding a SB?

  2. Hannan says:

    I’m a newbie here, why do guys just ask for permission or heart my profile but dont say anything? and they don’t also respond 🙁

    • Jester says:

      I think I’m part of the problem here, but I used the “favorite” button as a way to organize. I just joined a couple of months ago and only had a vague idea of what I wanted. So I actually spent a while just reading profiles and learning what is possible and is normally expected. I clicked whenever I ran into profiles that had a unique and interesting descriptions, SB’s that were very attractive, or had acronyms or phrases that I didn’t understand, or unusual proposals.
      I didn’t realize until much later that SB’s could view my action as an attempt at communication. I’m old fashioned and assumed that SB’s would wait until I reached out to them first. Wish SA had a way for me to bookmark profiles without giving SB’s the wrong impression.

  3. Lila says:

    Why do some men view and/or heart my profile, but they don’t text?. Sometimes I text back and they don’t respond. I am so confused.

  4. Mickey says:

    I’m new to this website, I am also a black woman. I’ve been on her for a month or so but it seems that I attract a lot of scammers or if someone catches interest they eventually disappear lol. It is kind of hard to weed out the fakes on this site.

  5. GuyWith$ says:

    I made several posts which don’t appear. Then after I post again the previous one’s also appear (all in the pending status). It’s been a few days now and as I write this post none are appearing despite refreshing my browser. I believe the posts, even benign subjects are being deleted by the forum admin. Will an admin please contact me to explain. If they appear again after this is posted I’ll post an update.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I’m sick of these articles. As a SD, where’s our protection? Unlike many SB, SD actually have something to lose.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I’m wondering why SA dosen’t require everyone to have picture verification. Everyone should do this and if you are who you are, you shouldn’t have a problem verifying yourself. All of the fake SB I’ve interacted with don’t have any verification and most of the successful ones had some sort of verification

    • L. Morris says:

      I agree

    • Mileena_Angel says:

      I agree. And the process is easy. It took me just a few minutes to have get a photo verification and a few days later I was verified.
      But in the end, that alone isn’t enough it seems, because that way you only have a verification of how they look. Not about the rest of their profile. There are profiles that don’t add up.
      And for both sides it’s eventually all the same: always be careful and put time in your profile if you want to be taken seriously.

      • Anonymous says:

        There are pages upon pages of unverified profiles and one or two have some verification. If SA could only implement mandatory picture verification it will help a lot. But seems like they only care about how many members they have dosen’t matter what kind

  8. Anonymous says:

    Any advice for dealing a first time SD? I’m a pretty new SB and am messaging this guy who seems great but says he doesn’t know what he wants/is looking for. I’m not sure if he understands how most arrangements work and it feels weird to just up front explain looking for a PPM or allowance arrangement.

  9. GuyWith$ says:

    Will the admin of this forum and/or thread please contact me to explain why my posts are all being deleted even ones that can’t in any way be construed as controversial?

    • GuyWith$ says:

      This is bizarre. My comments did not display and then I posted the above and suddenly they did appeared as still pending approval. The same thing happened yesterday.

  10. Anonymous says:

    I’m an experienced SD, who has had three wonderful SB relationships from SA in three years. All would be willing to give references and one has, so ask for that from your POT. Run away very fast if he is negative about his past SB’s. Also ask for a business card. Only successful men can afford an SD, and successful men are proud of their careers. This allows you to check out his company and position. Don’t be put off if he gets specific about intimacy. Don’t go with anyone who is crude, just understand that a real SD is going to have specific needs and be mature about them.

  11. GuyWith$ says:

    Things to consider:
    1. Unless the letter is rude remember that this person thought enough of you to get in-touch regardless of length of message or sender’s suitability.
    2. Remember SB’s if you place a premium value on your allowance expectations based on your positive attributes remember it works the same in reverse for men who have attractive qualities.

  12. Ana says:

    wow. not a single man on here is as polite as the above. most messages ask for me to text them pics before i even know ANYTHING about them — and then half of them only have $500 a month to offer. lmao. this site used to be good, not sure what happened with the invasion of cheap men the last few years.

  13. Country Mouse says:

    I’m a newbie here and I really appreciate the advice on your blogs. Looking for a SD is very different that the usual online dating in many respects. I appreciate a man who is Upfront and honest. This allows me room to really assess who I am talking to. The Face Time talk before meeting is an excellent idea! Thanks again!

  14. Anonymous says:

    What does POT mean. One of the cardinal rules of writing is to define an acronym the first time you reference it.

  15. Chillin says:

    This post explains a lot. As a SD I disagree with the facetime and a few other things. I will say that this explain why so many SB’s want to facetime or chat on the phone before meeting for drinks or coffee.

    • Anonymous says:

      This is clearly put in place to protect SB from people who are not who they say they are or use old pictures, why do you have an issue with this? Are you another lying man or do you just have an issue with protecting women?

  16. Anonymous says:

    Can this site announce again clearly that being a sugar baby IS NOT A JOB? It is being really annoying finding a lot of girls thinking that

    • SBFLO says:

      It really can be a job if you consider the amount of time you have to invest to make sure that you find the right sd. A lot of scammers are using this site too.

  17. Anonymous says:

    What’s up with all these women asking for a 40-100$ deposit so I can prove I am serious??

    • SA_Admin says:

      No one should be asking for money upfront or before meeting in person. If you come across a profile like that, please be sure to report them as “Phishing”. Thank you!

    • Anonymous says:

      If it’s anything like my experiences so far it’s at least somewhat to avoid being scammed. Nearly every single reply I’ve gotten has been rather suspect up to plainly a scam. One sd asked me explicitly for the username and password to my banking online account. Fortunately I’m not stupid. But many are and I’ve thought about making the same demands because of the inordinate number of scammers or suspected scammers that have contacted me.

      • GuyWith$ says:

        Those inquiries are from Nigerian scammers. It seems that they use the use the bank account info scam when contacting SB’s. This is something I’ve never received out of ten’s of thousands of letters. On the men’s side they post fake women’s profiles which experienced users can easily spot. They usually ask for a phone or email address immediately. Then they’ll give some story and ask for cash. Their current common approach is to post a Dominant Female profile looking for subs which they believe will more easily succumb to their money demands.

      • Anonymous says:

        I haven’t given my banking info out but I sure do get asked for it an awful lot.. Is that the way it works or are they just trying to scam?

      • SA_Admin says:

        Never give out your personal banking information. That is scam and you need to report those profiles. Thank you!

  18. Joe says:

    As a sugar baby man 18-20 I find a lot of men will speak and then suddenly stop feels like a lot are bots are there genuine sugar daddy’s looking for twinks on here?

  19. Anonymous says:

    Why are Tony and Sparty able to make long posts but others can’t?

    • Anonymous says:

      Do Tony and Sparty have special privileges?

      • Anonymous says:

        and guess what? neither of them are women. kind of disproves certain people’s accusations of gender discrimination by SA staff

      • Anonymous says:

        They’ve also pointed out lots of current problems with SA, some which the i n c e l clique have similarly pointed out. They seem like legit SDs to me.

      • Anonymous says:

        You guys just love your conspiracy theories. A bunch of nutcases, the lot of you.

    • Filtersrus says:

      Because they can string more than 2 intelligent sentences together without digression into name calling and harsh generalizations???

  20. Anonymous says:

    What does POT stand for?

  21. do better says:

    I’ve been a member for over a year. You guys have to do a better job with all the scammer women. I got played once and know what to look for but they keep popping up. If I report them, just another comes. You should have some sort of thing where we can warn others or something. It’s not right.

    • SA_Admin says:

      Thank you for the suggestions! We are definitely working on updating and upgrading our automated systems to catch any bad actors on our site before they even get reported! But please keep reporting profiles, it helps us to remove profiles we may not have otherwise caught and can be used to teach our systems. Thanks!

      • InfiniteDesire says:

        I’ve been on the site for a week and every interaction has been a phishing attempt or Venezuelan cuties selling videos. Is there actually real women here?

      • GuyWith$ says:

        InfiniteDesire is right about the disproportionate number of Venezuelan profiles selling pic/video sellers and the Uruguayans are just as common. The pic/video/cam sellers are becoming an epidemic on the site.

      • SA_Admin says:

        If you come across profiles offering to sell photos/videos, please be sure to report them so that we can take the proper action against the account. Thank you!

      • GuyWith$ says:

        Why do you keep deleting my comments?

      • SA_Admin says:

        I am sorry about that! We have not deleted your comments, it can take us a few days to approve comments. I see that the majority of your comments have all been approved and posted at this time!

    • Jo says:

      Also, the scammer Daddys are a problem. I got taken for about $25,but when you’re a single parent struggling with medical bills, every little bit matters.

  22. SD with Open Eyes says:

    Question for the moderators. Do moderators have visibility to the identity of posters beyond the “name” field?

    • Filtersrus says:

      They do

    • Anonymous says:

      How could they? You are not logged in. They can get your browser data including IP address and approximate location.

    • Anonymous says:

      Are you wanting to get people banned?

    • Anonymous says:

      They could match to your SA using IP

      • Sweet Red says:

        I agree. I think they should have comments tied to users of the website only. It will allow the rest of us to review and identify the individual posters and allow us to block them as well on this forum. SA is not doing well with security measures to keep the unwanted comments. Moderate the users without a SA account and allow the members to post freely.

    • SA_Admin says:

      Hey there! We are only able to view the username/email that you signed up with to use the forum.

      • SD with Open Eyes says:

        If I understand your comment correctly:
        (1) You must be logged in to SA to post here.
        (2) If someone wants to argue with themselves on this site with different “names” then it would either be obvious to the moderators since they can see that one username/email is posting under multiple “names” or the person could be more clever by having multiple SA accounts.

        Does this make sense?

      • SA_Admin says:

        SA accounts are not tied to forum accounts. So if someone were to continue signing up for our forum, they would all be under different emails/usernames. We are working on systems to mitigate spam/hateful comments that come in.

      • GuyWith$ says:

        SA Admin bans comments on subjects they don’t want discussed. So to avoid using the “word” let me ask you why don’t have a separate category for “women” not born with female genitalia? I bet even asking this will get banned.

  23. Anonymous says:

    It’s amazing that Reddit (slf) is much more helpful and collegial than this forum.

    • Anonymous says:

      i found the Reddit slf to be very useful source for sugar dating where here it is mostly name calling part of the problem is the blog topics are not relatable to the members here

  24. Anonymous says:

    Moderators, you are doing an awful job at moderating this blog.

  25. All me says:

    Why is it women want to always need to be empowered to do things..they constantly need re assuring they are perfect in every way.. yet on these sites they are just so freaking ruthless about getting money and go about it in that manner..so why do you need to be empowered all the time..women certainly are not scared on these sites to get what they want..

    • Country Mouse says:

      I would say that goes both ways? Woman are looking to exchange cash and other perks for their company. Men provide the financial end. I would think that we are all looking to make sure the deal is genuine. The fact that we are meeting strangers on the internet creates an inherent sense of distrust. Neither party wants to be ripped off. So I think ‘reassurance’ is a necessary criteria at least until the relationship/arrangement has progressed enough to create trust. Just my view.

    • Anonymous says:

      You’re literally complaining about SB’s making sure they get what they want on a SB dating site….maybe this site isnt for you?

  26. Question says:

    What the heck does POT mean?

    Per urban dictionary it means Pervy Old Thing

    Seems appropriate but also a little rude if that’s what the author meant

  27. Anonymous says:

    SA is not an escort service yall…. if you cant get past that dont use the site

  28. Anonymous says:

    Esse site funciona mesmo? Ate agora nao achei meu príncipe SD

  29. Anonymous says:

    Hey SD’s…. is it me… or do you get a lot of african american women messages? It seems lately that’s all i get…Am i magnet maybe? I swear.. it’s literally 2-1 ratio lately.

    • Anonymous says:

      what is wrong with that the darker the berry the sweeter the juice

    • Anonymous says:

      Black guys 😍🥵

    • Aussie SD says:

      Quickly butting in here… Just spent xmas in Mississippi. The accent… music to my ears. Beautiful women.. but the African-American women… absolutely gorgeous.

    • Aaa says:

      Is there a problem with black women?

    • Deidra says:

      They might actually be decent women…sticking with a type will make you miss out on someone great. Some of y’all guys on here will accept scamming and crappy behavior from your type but won’t dare entertain the idea of a black woman who could be the best sb ever.

      • Anon says:

        Deidre sorry but comments like that are very silly and sound desperate I’m black. If a white man only wants a white girl then that’s him. Encouraging him to date outside that is very weird. That’s his preference so be it, I have 0 problems with it

      • Anon says:

        Sorry I’ll also add, asian to asian, black to black.

      • No says:

        Esto es de parte y parte, hay SD que envían algunas preguntas sobre las expectativas de las SB y piden se lo más sinceras y específicas con sus respuestas y al final piden que la SB haga una pregunta para ellos solo para que al final ni respondan el mensaje así no estén interesados, creo personalmente por respeto al tiempo tanto de SD y SB se debe responder los mensajes recibidos así sea para dejar en claro que no hay interés

  30. Kat says:

    Everyones just complaining. How about just dont do anything you dont want to? This article is literally about vetting POTs so if someone indicates to you in their message/s that they are incompatible with what you’re looking for… delete/block/report… and MOVE ON instead going on and on about it 🙄🙄

    • Filtersrus says:

      KAT, I think the issue is not that they run across some sketchy characters, we all do that here. Where I think the angst lays is there are so MANY of them. I have seen my share here. Lot of sows’ ears and few silk purses. Yes, I block- delete-report…so often my fingers want to bleed. They may not be articulate in expressing their frustration with it all, but I can surely empathize with their plight. It’s sad really. I mean why go for the one-time kill when you can form an arrangement, and all the sheep you ever wanted are delivered to you…

  31. Anonymous says:

    If you give and allowance up front to a woman on SA that is the last time that you will see her.

    • Anonymous says:

      why are other sds pushing this idea that if you pay upfront you wont see the sb again? that has never happened to me. maybe i’m better at filtering out scammers. i had two arrangements over the last three years and both started off with me paying for a few normal non intimate dates before arrangement was agreed

      • Anonymous says:

        just because it didn’t happen to you doesn’t mean it does not happen . Whether the dates are intimate or not i feel a SB is entitled to be compensated for her time.If women are bolting after getting paid i would think it is because they are being pushed to hard for intimacy people need to learn to have more patience or get a prostitute if they are that desperate for it

      • Anonymous says:

        fair point- just because it hasn’t happened to me doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. that being said, some of the sds on here sound entitled and like serious creeps. yeah maybe some guys have it tough on the site but by the sounds of some comments here some of the men are real jerks too. some of you guys sound seriously angry because sbs not letting you get it- those ones shouldn’t be allowed near women

      • Anonymous says:

        no argument from me some comments do sound like they are entitled.the original ideal of sugar dating was to provide a SB with a allowance and spoiling so that a lady would want to spend time with a daddy and give him sugar to. Now they just want to pay for sex that is why they get so mad at platonic .I’m not in favor of it either but I’m not going to complain that somebody wants that instead i just move on and wish them well when they request this

      • Anonymous says:

        that is a good point agreed

      • Anonymous says:

        They are all little princesses who deserve spoiling.

    • Anonymous says:

      This is a fact!

    • Uhh says:

      Literally not the case. I’ve gotten upfront payments on the first meet and always come back so long as we hit it off. If you don’t connect then what’s the problem with not speaking again?

  32. Anonymous says:

    A sugar daddy site involves sugar how difficult is it to understand

  33. Sugar says:

    Guys come to a sugar daddy site and have the nerve to demand “no gold diggers” 😂😂😂

  34. Anonymous says:

    Some SDs have pictures of celebrities 😐

    • Anonymous says:

      As in, they use celebrity pics for their profile. I saw Chris Evans a few days ago. How did SA allow that fake SD to get away with using a pic of Evans as his own??

      • SA_Admin says:

        Be sure to report these profiles so that we can take remove any fake photos and have them verify their identity! Thanks!

      • Anonymous says:

        You wish. You’re just known for being really annoying on here, a nobody in the real world that’s why you come on here to cent out your frustrations

  35. Anon says:

    The SA messaging feature isn’t very good. It’s not always an indication of a scam when someone suggests other methods of communicating.

  36. Anonymous says:

    Hey SD’s i have a question… Does being a member increase the messages you receive from SB’s? i’ve been at a stagnant like 15 for a month now.I am not a member yet.

    • Filtersrus says:

      Not necessarily . A good profile and pictures showing your face help the most

    • Sparty says:

      Can’t speak specifically to whether it’ll increase your messages – that depends on your market, your profile, available SBs, and so many other factors. That said, I definitely saw an uptick in requests when I went Premium. It also helps to pop online for a few minutes here and there so the system can register you as online, assuming you are visible.

    • Anonymous says:

      haven’t noticed a difference but getting a boost does increase the amounts of messages you get

      • Tony Tiger says:

        For SDs, you need to pay for premium membership to get access to messaging so premium membership makes a big difference. For SDs and SBs: 1) the quality of your photos and profile, 2) logging in daily bc most filters are sorted by recent activity,3) getting a boost, 4) viewing or favoriting other people’s profiles or messaging them. All of these will increase your messages.

  37. Anon says:

    As an SD, for me,
    1. One line profiles are a red flag.
    2. SBs who reply to messages once every several hours are likely breadcrumb merchants
    3. Those who won’t give their phone number close to a date will likely flake. Anyone who plays this game should have a second phone (pay as you go) anyway.
    4. By the same score if someone starts their first message asking you to continue somewhere else, very likely it’s a prostitute

    • Anonymous says:

      In response to no 2: some of us are busy. I’d like to think any succesful, career-driven SD I speak to would be busy too. I’m not put off by reasonably late replies (max a day) from SDs in the very early stages. I wouldn’t expect him to make me, a stranger online, a priority in his life because initially I definitely wouldn’t be doing that for anyone I talk to on SA. However, I’d put in more effort to reply sooner, and I’d expect reciprocation as first date approaches and certainly after it.

      • Filtersrus says:

        I would qualify that a bit.. I run into those who show that they are online , and the introduction message I sent 18 hours before hasn’t even been read, much less responded to. That is not a busy life, that is just plain rudeness and lack of manners. If I get that pulled on me. I apologize for the intrusion (knowing damn well it won’t be read) and I unfavorite and hide the profile. I can count on one hand and have fingers left over how many SBs have the professionalism to write back, even if it is to express no interest.

        I will be especially gracious to a potential SB when she actually takes the time to look at my profile, and then respond that she isn’t interested. I thank her for her honesty and sincerity and wish her well in her search. Those kind of folks are, IMHO, the exception on this site, not the rule.

      • Anonymous says:

        Half of the messages don’t get read. Most of the SBs are not serious.

  38. SD with Open Eyes says:

    Almost all of these are good advise for SD’s as well. There are a lot of Salt Baby’s out there who want to waste your time and money. One needs to be patient and aggressively weed out those who you aren’t 100% interested in, and those not 100% interested in being your sugar baby.

    • Anonymous says:

      Salt Salt Baby!

    • Sparty says:

      A double irony – Salt is usually attributed to SDs, but SBs can be just as bad in their own ways – and PPM is rampant, with demands for it in advance killing many a first meet, which probably ends up wasting the time of SBs in the end, too.

      You definitely need to have enough skill to read through the lines of a profile – read what it says, not what you want it to say.

  39. Michael says:

    Hello Robin.

    Your comment is a little misguided.

    I don’t comment on this blog. In this instance I can’t help myself.
    I’ve been on SA for 5 years, and yet have only had 3 arrangements.
    All have been long term and worthwhile. It always takes me about
    3 to 6 months to find a SB. I take great care with whom I communicate
    with, always looking for the best available.

    By the way there is nothing wrong with me. I never have a shortage of choice.


    • versaillesgarden says:

      Yeah, I don’t doubt that you have choices…Everything about your comment – from the formatting / structure to the word choice – is a reflection of that exact precision/care that you put into finding your SB’s. Idk, as a woman I just find that attractive.


  40. Ivy Jay says:

    Very helpful information. I just wish seeking did a better job of screening their members. There’s too many fakers on this site

  41. Anonymous says:

    The next blog will cover how to avoid online only, platonic, rinsers, mooches, and lazy women.

    • Anonymous says:

      Platonic doesn’t break the rules so I doubt that’ll make the post

    • Anonymous says:

      I will add fin dom to list as well

      • Worldlywanderer says:

        I can’t believe that women (and guys I guess) think that findom is a thing. From what I can tell, if it exists, it is exceedingly rare. Definitely not in proportion to the number of SBs who have it listed as the only arrangement type they are interested in.

      • Country Mouse says:

        What does Fin Dom mean?

      • GuyWith$ says:

        Country Mouse: Fin Dom shouldn’t be confused with traditional D/s relationships and they are abhorred by those who are familiar with the D/s lifestyle. It’s usually posted by some 18’ish spoiled-rotten brat chewing gum saying “I’m Dominant and I want a Pay-Pig to send me money.”

      • Anonymous says:

        Findom is a legitimate fetish and they are subs out there who are into it. I have a friend who makes 6 figures being a Findom and she has an entire network of findoms. Just because it is not for you, doesnt mean you need to be judgemental about it.

  42. Tony Tiger says:

    Great article Katanna! In the past 2 months, 839 potential SBs have viewed/Favorited my profile and 198 have messaged me. I know of SBs who get even more visits than I do.

    Additional Advice for SBs:
    1) Definitely delete anyone immediately asking/expecting nude pics or saying that it’s normal for SBs to send nude pics
    2) Delete anyone you feel is trying to scam you (ex., I’m in the military overseas and want to deposit money in your account) or play you by wanting a first meeting in a private place instead of in a public place.
    3) Reduce your messages by being an adult. If you are no longer interested, just say, “thanks but I’m no longer interested.” If they react rudely, then you know you made the right move. It’s rude to let a successful man message you multiple times because you led them on by saying you were interested.
    4) Don’t ask for money in the first message…”what is your allowance?” It’s just like a guy in the first sentence, “how much for sex?” I understand SBs want to establish if you are both in the same ballpark, but allowances are based on many things. For example, if you see each other once a month, that’s a different allowance than 1 a week.
    5) Finally don’t be surprised if the potential SD offers to skype instead of Facetime. Facetime is tied to one’s personal number and I highly recommend people do not use their personal number. I once had someone stalk and call/text me 143 times. I’d block and she’d create a different number to call/text from. I had to create a new personal number and go through the pain of telling all my family, friends, employees and business contacts my new number. Learn from my mistake: Best keep sugar world and your real world separate!

    There are many good apples in the sugar world so best of success!

    • Anonymous says:

      “In the past 2 months, 839 potential SBs have viewed/Favorited my profile and 198 have messaged me. I know of SBs who get even more visits than I do.”

      Total bull shit!

      • Tony Tiger says:

        Anonymous, post your email and I’ll email a screen shot to back my claim. The thread does not have the functionality to let me post a screen shot here. I’m now at 202 messages and 934 interests (views+favorites).

      • Anonymous says:

        Its really not lol

      • Rooster says:

        As a man, in a month of have 33 pages of views at 25 profiles per page. I also have 8 pages of profiles that have favorited me. Thats after I delete all profiles not local and all overweight women.

        I delete stupid messages immediately and all from out of town. I get solid offers daily, but most arent of interest to me

        If your profile isn’t getting love, something about it or you sucks.

      • ROOSTER says:

        In one month 33 pages of 25 profiles each have viewed me, I have 8 pages of women that have favorited my profile, and thats after deleting most because they aren’t local or are overweight, etc

        I get legit offers non stop.

        If your profile isn’t getting love there may be a reason….

      • Anonymous says:

        Or perhaps you don’t live in London and are not named Abdul bin Saudi.

      • Anonymous says:

        You are my hero Tony. Number one punter!

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m an SD on the 14th month of an arrangement with my SB. Our first meeting was her coming over to my place. In other words, meeting in a private place (#2) doesn’t mean it’s a scam. A private place is a good thing for discretion.

      • Anonymous says:

        SD here as well, I always host at my place even for first meetings. It would avoid me any trouble if the person does not show up and is far more discreet. I had video calls to display my personality and my whole flat.

      • Sweet Red says:

        As great as you may make it sound, myself as a SB would never entertain a SD offering a first meet at their home. You shouldn’t do that yourself as well. There are nutty and I’ll intentions folks out here.

    • New SB says:

      How to approach a SD the first time, I’m new and I have made a couple of mistakes. This is my first time on this type of site or date site at all. I ask 2 guys picture the first time, then started to familiarize with post and articles.😥

  43. Anonymous says:

    I agree with these except part of tip no. 1: I don’t respond to immediate requests for access to private photos. I don’t care how busy anyone is, it is rude.

    • Anonymous says:

      I 100% agree. I have plenty of public photos. Get to know me a bit before requesting my more intimate ones. I’m a human not an object.

  44. Mara S. says:

    I’m glad this was posted, but have to say I’ve been considering leaving SA due to the sheer amount of accounts that are clearly scammers trying to take advantage of SBs. There’s a pattern: first, it starts when major financial events happen (ex tuition fee dates, Christmas/holidays requiring shopping). Then the profile will have been made the same day as they favourite an SB. Then, when you try and message there is no response. I’ve reported 3 out of the 30 profiles like these I’ve encountered because I just can’t seem to keep up. I suspect I’m not the only one either. I’m not sure what can be done about this, but any changes to improve this issue would be welcome!

    • Mara S. says:

      Just to add: the biggest red flag for me has been the whole including of a phone number in the SD’s profile header, or body of text. As well as the whole “text me @blahblah to get 500/week”. All these things combined just make it seem the profile(s) are fake.

      • AI Girl says:

        @Mara S. I agree! Someone will create a new profile as an SD, they will favorite you same-day, and will ask you to txt them and list a phone number in the profile..some even say they’ll pay $ for the first 20 ppl that txt them, etc. It’s obviously a scam… they’re fishing to see if they can get someone’s bank info or personal info. And it’s s new profile..they get 20 free msgs or whatever, and their profile txt hasn’t been screened 🙁
        With the horribly young AI bots they have turning down g-rated pics, you’d think the site would be able to screen out phone numbers in new profiles!

      • SA_Admin says:

        Yes! We are definitely working on improving our automated systems, and member report systems. As well as decreasing the time it takes to go through moderations to catch these profiles quicker! Thank you!

    • Sparty says:

      It’s that way on the other side, too, unfortunately. My personal favorite is when a date is set, with time and place, and the SB goes dark – doesn’t cancel, doesn’t respond to a message, doesn’t show up, and blocks. POOF.

      I’ve come to set dates relatively close to my work or home, so if this happens it’s not as much of an inconvenience. However, that’s time I could spend with an SB who actually wants to meet; the flake actually takes that opportunity away from two people.

      Would welcome real repercussions for SBs and SDs not abiding general etiquette. For flakers, a reporting system where multiple flakes flag an account. For anyone who puts numbers in their profile or header, the review process should deny their profile.

      • Tony Tiger says:

        Totally agree with Sparty. Ghosting is epidemic! I had a month where only 2 out of 20 potential SBs actually showed up and 17 of the 20 all confirmed before hand they were coming. 2 different girls said they had “car accidents”; three were different students I had be snap chatting with for weeks. My favorite was “hey I’m with my sister getting our hair done, can you send us money.” There should be a repercussion for ghosting. Now I don’t leave until the SB also confirms she is leaving. How sad that it has come to that.

      • Mara S. says:

        I hear you! I’ve had several potential SDs ghost on me last minute as of late. It sucks and I agree it would be ideal if there was some sort of consequence for this kind of behavior.

      • Anonymous says:

        Ghosting shows you the level of upbringing that these women on SA have.

      • Worldlywanderer says:

        It generally happens to me a little more than 50% of the time. We will have been chatting for sometimes up to a week or two and will plan to meet for coffee. We may even have been texting until just beforehand, but often the SB will still no show. It’d be great to have a button on their profile.. maybe it wouldn’t be able to be activated until we have access to their private pics or something where we could click and it would activate a counter to show how many times this person has flaked on a date.

    • Trinity says:

      You aren’t the only one. I’ve started reporting them as well.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’ve reported many as well. They get blocked from my account so I can’t see them anymore, but when I ask my friends to check and they’ll sometimes tell me those profiles are still active. So reporting doesn’t always do anything.

  45. Angelica says:

    What if you come across them on instagram and not on this site?

  46. Filtersrus says:

    The same tips could also apply to the Daddies on this site. especially tips 1-6. Any time you get ignored, or favorited by someone 1500 miles away and their profile states everything you do NOT want, chances are they just don’t pay attention to your needs and a complete waste of time

    • Sparty says:


      1. Messages with zero words are not messages – ignore.

      2. If they don’t respond, don’t write again. HOWEVER, I feel it’s OK to attempt to re-engage once about 2-3 days later, and if no response, possibly in a couple weeks. After that, delete.

      3. If an SB is going to solicit, it’ll be after she gets your number. Ironically, those who are escorts will claim other girls on SA are escorts – not them.

      4. Again, this will happen after an SB gets your actual number. If you don’t agree to terms, an SB may become abusive to guilt you into seeing her. (Yes, it’s happened.)

      5. Have been given SB numbers without asking but have never gotten a request for an immediate call. Recommend no SD be in any rush. If you miss out on a particular SB, she got busy, become more interested in someone else, who knows? (See 2, above)

      6. Nice, polite, interested, inquisitive messages are all great. “Hey” is not a message – it’s an attempt to draw attention and is probably being sent to SDs en masse. (See 1, above) Honestly, there should be a minimal character limit for a first message to help filter this.

      7. Many SBs don’t verify their accounts at all. You may even see multiple accounts from the same SB, with the same pictures, multiple times the same day. The system is definitely geared towards SDs verifying themselves, but not SBs. This presents an inequality, because it is typically the SDs who pay for Premium – yet they have more hoops to jump through.

      8. I highly recommend SDs have set parameters and/or questions to screen SBs, for whatever it is you seek. Know in advance that you will not perfectly screen all the time – and remember that she has to qualify to you, too: she needs to be worthy of your time and support as much as you need to be a good fit for her. Know your priorities and stick by them.

      9. See 8, above. Want what you want and walk away if the SB isn’t what you want. Don’t try to make a SB into something she’s not. There’s an SB out there who fits your desire, so look for her instead of investing time in someone who doesn’t fit the bill. The quicker you find out, the quicker you can move on to someone more appropriate.

      10. You can do a FaceTime or a Skype … there’s also Snapchat. Always have her confirm she’s on her way to a meet. If you’re suspicious of her pictures, ask for one not posted on the site. No, don’t ask for a nude – just a picture, preferably full body, because not many people have mad enough Photoshop skills to glue a head to a different body and make it look natural.

      I live in a HUGE city, so anytime I see anyone outside my immediate area, I hide her. Why look for an SB 4,000 miles away when one is 4 miles away?

      Be smart. Keep initial meets near your home or work, so if your SB ghosts you haven’t lost too much time.

      Good luck, SBs and SDs alike.