3 weeks ago
FOMO

image

FOMO (i.e. fear of missing out) is very real and it’s a result of the technology and the apps we are all accustomed to using. From banking to making restaurant reservations and to dating (sugar and otherwise), this makes our lives move at a very quick pace and it gives us so many options.

What happens after we have been on two hundred dates and decide that date #106 was the best of the lot?

I saw this in myself in my sugar dating days. There was always the need to look for something else, try something different in the hopes that it would be better: the chemistry, the hot body, sex, the addiction of an interaction with someone new.

After all, we are all raised to believe we deserve the very best the universe has to offer. The problem is, how do we find that ‘best’? Does this mean we have to go through the entire SA database in the city we live in so we can find the one best sugar person to date? What happens after we have been on two hundred dates and decide that date #106 was the best of the lot? We can’t just rewind the clock and go back to seeing them. We can’t tell them “Hey, I had this FOMO thing going , I am sorry but after I dated everyone else in this town I have now decided that you were actually the best one.  Can you take me back?” Life doesn’t work in that type of rewind mode. There are no refunds or reruns. So we really need to get rid of our FOMO complex and just bite the bullet and say that “of course there will be other people out there that are better than my current date in some respects. Maybe they have a nicer car. Maybe the allowance will be a bit bigger or maybe he knows of better restaurants. Or maybe she will be a bit taller or more fit. Or larger (or smaller) breasts. But even then, maybe they will have another trait that is annoying and that will ruin the whole package. So you never know.

We have to get rid of this feeling then. It is very stressful and it sets up up for constantly searching, running in place on that treadmill and setting ourselves up for disappointment. Like they say “perfect is the enemy of good “

It only makes us keep swiping left in hopes we will find the perfect person with perfect timing.

And I am saying that doesn’t exist in reality, this perfection that we think we need. Believe me, I did in fact try dating every single person I could get my arms around. Now I regret it because during that process I neglected some ladies that would have been just great to spend more time with. Of course I can’t go back to them now, years after my little “experiment” was complete. Unfortunately I was never the person to stop looking around until I became more mature and learned to be satisfied with what I already had: A bird in hand beats three in the bush.

We need to calm down for a minute and consider that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Perhaps we can give the person we are with a bit more time and a better chance to develop.

I think that the way to think about this is as follows: FOMO is not a sign that we are in the wrong relationship. It could be a sign that we need to calm down for a minute and consider that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Perhaps we can give the person we are with a bit more time and a better chance to develop. If, after we have given it a good honest try we are still not happy, then of course move on. Otherwise there is no need to panic and think that life is passing us by and we are missing out on everything. Chances are we are not missing out at all, but it takes maturity to realize that.


Leave a Reply

92 Responses to “FOMO”

  1. Anonymous says:

    The way to take care of FOMO is to be clear you’re NSA, non-monogamous. Then you keep the good one around but still can look for a new one better and then rolled them off that way. Always keep two or three babes going , preferably in different cities if you can, but always make room for a new one.

  2. Anonymous says:

    As for the FOMO I think it’s the girls on here that suffer from that shit. They don’t reply because they are waiting and hoping something better is just around the corner and when they do reply weeks later they either give you some lame ass excuse as they have been super busy yet you see them on the site every day or their reply is Heyyy! I am so glad I canceled my membership.

  3. Anonymouse says:

    Reddit has a thriving, respectful community dedicated to the Bowl. One subreddit has more than 60k members, and is active, informative and respectful, while this place has become a cesspool of low end trollery.

    Come on Mods – either put in a little effort or get some volunteers to help.

    • RMSD says:

      The reference to Reddit by ‘Anonymouse’ is quite correct, in that on balance, there is far more relevant, effective and wide ranging debate, with helpful Q&A on Reddit than you will ever find on these blogs. The blog articles here have always been thinly disguised marketing and of little practical value and certainly never derived from practical sugar dating experience. It is also particularly one sided, with 99% of focus being directed towards SBs only- this is historical fact not gender politics.

      It is also correct that the primary sugar forum on Reddit does have over 60,000 participants and the quality of debate can be high. I am sure that if SA appointed better non promotional writers (including men) grounded with practical sugar dating experience, and designed a better content policy, perhaps with a properly constructed threaded forum with selected community moderation they could create a better interaction with their members, however I am not sure that is an objective they identify with

  4. SD with Open Eyes says:

    Wow, Dave is really going to town arguing with himself on this thread. Too bad moderators don’t look at the id’s of the people posting and ban people who argue with themselves.

  5. AI Girl says:

    Lol…..too many grown ppl on BOTH sides who lack maturity 😘

  6. Anonymous says:

    Moderators*

  7. Anonymous says:

    Once again moderates failing to do their iob. What was the point of putting up that sa guidelines post?

  8. Disagree says:

    Most sb’s are students….if you think everyone is working at mcdees lol what is that saying about the men paying? Come on boys stop being so Whiney and acting better than everyone you pay not sbs

  9. DustyWolf says:

    A couple of things I’d love to see added.
    A; Sugar Mummy, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Baby tag. To make it a bit easier to find what kind of relationship people are looking for.
    A way to search by verified people, and search by the sugar tag.

    • Filtersrus says:

      You would need to have that verification on BOTH sides. Just because they throw up a profile and make the claim they are an SB doesn’t mean they really are

      • Anonymous says:

        yes lots of women on you tube filling out a profile to see what kind of responses they get which they use to draw views to their videos with no intention of meeting anyone

  10. cuteRacci says:

    FOMO being the best

  11. Zeebee says:

    My ex SD had fomo, it stemmed from his insecurities about getting old. He used to say things about how he’s too old for me, he can’t believe someone my age would like him, etc. So he would keep Seeking, to get young women to like him and make himself feel desired despite his aging self. I left him because, among other reasons, he couldn’t stop looking for validation in other SBs, though he didn’t want me talking to other SDs and certainly guys my own age. It was toxic.

  12. Tony Tiger says:

    David, I appreciate your article. I agree to many hit delete too quickly. I’ve found its impossible to compete with someone’s FOMO. How I address it early on is to ask someone if they want an open or monogamous arrangement. If they want to keep exploring while we still get to know each other, that’s fine as long as we are both up front and agree.

    What I encounter more is SB unrealistic expectations of what a “luxury lifestyle” is. I’m a millionaire because I save and invest and don’t waste money on things that depreciate in value. I once had an SB end things because I
    wouldn’t buy her red bottom heels when she couldn’t pay her own rent. To me,me paying her rent first made a lot more sense, but go figure. I have also had 5 different women tell me they wanted breast implants, who were all behind on their bills, but I guess that is a topic for a different blog.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I was confused at first, are you speaking from a male or female POV. Good article. Great read. But sad to think people think like this.
    “A chance to develop”, seriously its not developing film. It’s not a realization after “settling”. It’s being mature. It’s having intellect. It’s respect. FOMO is my favorite saying. And you make valid points. But I’m not convinced you’ve “saved” Or “salvaged” any romance in your point across.

    But what do I know. xO

  14. This totally true!
    This is why there are a lot of divorces breakups! and men regret after they messed up, broke their wife’s , girlfriends hearts etc. They missed on the real sugar babies because they want the “hotter looking” photos perfectly curated. People look better in person! They want to find the “next best thing” they chase an impossible and nonexistent human being. After, they realized they can’t find it and give the person a chance and give themselves a chance only then they “form an arrangement” most men here want ppm or they scam you by not providing you with an allowance. Never sleep with a guy don’t give your allowance upfront this how you get scammed. This is a sugar daddy site go seek hookers and escort in other places! But no they come here because they think it’s okay to invite a naive girl not a “pro” to have sex with and so they convince themselves that they did a big “thing” total looser mentality! Let me tell you if okay girls here karma will hit hard!
    Transportation should be provided and gift! Period!

  15. Anonymous says:

    The feeling of missing out is true. Seeing other SB’s pictures on ig, made me feel anxious and feeling missing out. Been in this for two years, but just broke up. Gonna give another year until I find someone. But if I don’t, I’ll just stick to working multiple jobs again.

  16. SC says:

    Internet (social media and online dating) has made people/relationships more disposable. A good thing in some ways, bad in others.

    • Anonymous says:

      Name which “good” ways???

      • Anonymous says:

        1. Dumping the bad people in your life without fear or repercussion of ending up alone because internet provides access to new people.

      • Anonymous says:

        2. For people who’ve not found a partner from within their current social circles and networks, internet gives them more options and increases chances of finding someone compatible.

      • Worldlywanderer says:

        3. Access to a much larger dating market helps to give you a better idea of your value in the grand scheme. I don’t know about others, but I find that wealth is kind of isolating. You don’t want to be loved for just what you can provide.. The two connect in a small city like mine with an unfavorable male/female ratio (Alaska) where all kinds of bad behavior exists and where it is extremely refreshing to be able to get out to other cities and see that men aren’t universally pariahs like they are treated where I live.

  17. Anonymous says:

    I didn’t want to miss out but then I missed out

  18. Sugar says:

    Can’t wait to see the comments haters are gonna make on this post Zzz

  19. Sofia says:

    I love this. Very, very good.

  20. Sweet Red says:

    Recently had a guy FOMO me and he got back in touch with me during the holidays. Shocking because he was the one that decided we go out separate ways. I’m willing to open up the dialogue but how should I go about it? Should I pursue or let bygones be bygones?

    • Filtersrus says:

      Talk to the guy with a very jaundiced eye. He ghosted you once he’s apt to do it again

    • Anonymous says:

      Bye bye Bygones. Once on the fence always on the fence. Respect thy self. And delete him.

    • Karenkarenkaren says:

      Let the bygones be bygones. Period it’s just like any relationship he missed out. Period.
      I have guys texting me after 3months lol they have a total loser mentality.

    • Yathink says:

      depends on the contacts and the purpose of it. Then you decide to pursue or let it be bygones.

    • Worldlywanderer says:

      The huge availability of other people changes the calculus of whether or not to pursue and try to iron out differences. If he is truly FOMO, I’d say he is a lost cause. In a situation with fewer options I feel like it’d be more of a straightforward, “Yeah, go after him and good luck” kinda thing.

    • Anonymous says:

      He bailed, experienced remorse, felt entitled to a do-over. He’s your problem now, again.

  21. Filtersrus says:

    I don’t know that I would sign on to FOMO, but there are more times than not that you have that 1st or second meeting, and there is just no way you want to do it on a regular basis. Yes, nobody is perfect, but sometimes you don’t see the deal breakers coming until you have spent the time and considerable money to learn the lesson. FOMO?? Nah. Fear of getting stuck with someone you really don’t want to keep around?? You betcha.

  22. Anonymous says:

    a new topic ya

Top