10 months ago
To Host or Not To Host

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Here’s the scenario: you really like your new POT, you’ve been on multiple dates, and you’re ready to bring them back to your place. The inevitable question of hosting comes up in every Sugar Daters’ life at some point or another. Here, you’ll find some pros and cons to hosting.   


Hosting Pros

So, why is hosting preferred by both newbie and mature Sugar Daters? This is an easy one, the convenience of it all. There’s no traveling required, and you’re in a comfortable, safe environment. 

Besides the convenience of it, you’re showing your POT a new, different side to yourself. Bringing someone into your personal space is a big step, and it shows more of your personality.


Hosting Cons

While it is convenient to host, there are some cons. Neighbors are nosy, and a lot of people value privacy. Having POTs in and out might draw unnecessary attention that some of us don’t want.  

Then there’s the obvious issue, your POT now knows where you live… While this may not be an immediate issue, if the arrangement ends on a sour note, there is potential for stalking or unpleasant confrontations. Of course, this isn’t as common, but being aware of possible issues will help you determine your best decision. 


Whether or not you choose to host, you should never feel pressured to do something you’re uncomfortable with. Bringing someone into your home is a big decision, and should not be taken lightly. Sugar relationships are all about finding a comfortable, mutually beneficial situation so keep this in mind when deciding if it’s time to bring home your POT. 

The Sugar Bowl has millions of people around the planet, participating in this lifestyle. There is no need for a Sugar Dater to be shamed or made to feel guilty over their boundaries or preferences. If they are someone who hosts and likes that lifestyle, that is their choice. If someone else doesn’t believe in offering that option, then that person deserves the same amount of respect.

The Sugar world is best enjoyed when two mature and healthy adults find a great match in similar needs and equal expectations. This lifestyle is about finding mutually beneficial and equally matched needs and wants. There is nothing wrong with hosting. There is nothing wrong with not hosting. The choice is ultimately up to the Sugar, just as all choices are in a relationship. Find a POT who shares your views, wishes, and desires.

Trying to change your preferences or forcing yourself into a situation that you’re uncomfortable with, will lead to unhappiness for you both. Make choices that boost your happiness. Happy sugaring everyone!


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181 Responses to “To Host or Not To Host”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Someone below commented on SBs requesting Ubers. It’s happened several times for me. I’m afraid it’s a scam. I hope SA investigates to make sure it isn’t.

    • Anonymous says:

      best to meet them close to where they are so that they don’t need one and yes it is a scam not all asking are scamming but a lot are using this to get money . its not a lot of money but i get sick of the games they play

    • Anonymous says:

      maybe who knows how would SA investigate that activity

  2. Anon_SD says:

    So, no more comments on this site, even the Lets Talk Sugar site got rid of its forum.

  3. Anonymous says:

    i rather stay at home alone than get sick from this virus i hope everyone is finding some sugar through this

  4. Anonymous says:

    it’s not coming back

  5. Anonymous says:

    a lot are just curious what this is about they are not serious

  6. Lea says:

    Wow.. the comments here are partialy really horrible and though it seems that nearly every SD on this page has at least a good educational level.. I did not see any elaborated, moderated or elegant comment that does not encompass some hatred about SB’s or women in general.

    I would say that ‘to host or not to host’ shouldn’t be the question.
    The question should be ‘when is the right moment to host?’
    Probably it is not ideal for the first date, but if you like each other and are attracted to each other, why not?
    I mean it might be a complicated if you want to have discretion as top priority and the SB is NOT living alone, but living in a shared flat/ with her family (whatever).
    But otherwise the SB’s flat should not be a secret space.

    Safety is an issue, but even when you exchange contact details with a stranger in a club/ an event you could have met a dangerous axe murderer…

    And though this page is called ‘seeking arrangements’ and money does play a certain role in the arrangements.. it seems that there is no clarity, whether it is ‘okay’ for SB’s to say right from the start: You want all sorts of fun, beautiful face etc. etc. big boobs.. and so on, and the SB would like to have in return financial support? (next to the emotional connection)
    I think that is pretty strange… When should you negotiate about something like that?
    At the first date or even before on a video chat?

    One comment compared this SA thing with a job interview, where without a personal meeting ‘no negotiations’ are possible. I’d say that if you apply for a job, and you don’t know what you want from it or can’t say it on an equal level beforehand.. that does not seem okay or like an equal footing.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Reddit is a good place much more useful than here

  8. Anonymous says:

    sugarlifestyleforum on Reddit is a good place to get real info

  9. Anonymous says:

    Thanks – guess I have to learn how to use that and read up on them.

  10. Anonymous says:

    SDs: if a SB starts asking about allowance range before meeting , does that diminish what you offer? Does it affect your view of her?

  11. . says:

    I am convinced this site works for the people looking for a genuine arrangement.

  12. Anonymous says:

    no commentating would likely be a good thing nothing useful being said here anyway

  13. Ava here says:

    I never hosted but my SDs did. I would never host for my personal comfort and safety.

  14. SD with Open Eyes says:

    A quick suggestion to make the board better: Only allow paying members to post. That way, if someone’s posts violate the rules of the board, and if they have been warned about it, then they can lose their paying account. Otherwise, people could just keep making free accounts and continue to post.

    • Anonymous says:

      what makes you think paying members come here to comment they are enjoying themselves with their SB SD also the two blog topics have no comments on them if that trend continues there will be no place to comment

    • Ava here says:

      I’m a SB and have had two successful long-term and mutually beneficial arrangements, but I wouldn’t have joined if SBs had to pay. I joined SA to relieve me of some of my financial difficulties, not make things worse by making me pay for membership. I think if SBs had to pay, you’d be turning away a lot of genuine ones as well the fakes. There are must be a better way to keep the fakes out.

    • Ava here says:

      Also don’t think people should be allowed to be comment on here if they are not joined to SA. They could comment anonymously from their SA accounts, but admin should be able to see, based on their comments, which profiles are potentially dangerous to other users. Those profiles should obviously then be banned from SA and the blog.

  15. Anonymous says:

    There is an endless supply of dumb cunts who think that they can get money for nothing.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Because she genuinely loves and cares for bf and actually finds him attractive

  17. Anonymous says:

    Chicken shit SA admins block comments instead of cleaning up their site.

  18. Anon says:

    Are there any SM’s with opinions on the site? I have questions for you, asking as a male SB

  19. Anonymous says:

    i host

  20. Hannah Banana says:

    All these Salt Daddies ? y’all talk about allowances/“these hoes” like you aren’t trying to pay someone to pretend like you ahaha

  21. Anonymous says:

    What’s with the girls demanding ubers?

  22. Anonymous says:

    Ladies post up those pics with your tongue hanging out. I’m looking for a girl who can catch a load.

  23. Anonymous says:

    It’s not just two.

  24. SDZombie says:

    I miss how this site used to be.

  25. Bella says:

    Sounds like a typical incel idiot over here

  26. Anonymous says:

    SBs cry about safety when dating old white guys, yet most are liberal college girls who vote democrat. You know, sanctuary cities, criminal illegals released from prison, criminals storming the border. Clueless idiots.

  27. Valeria says:

    Hola cómo están hi beby

  28. Anonymous says:

    I haven’t hosted since the wood chipper went on the fritz.
    ?

  29. Anonymous says:

    That puts them a notch above the SBs available.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Oooooh burn

  31. Anonymous says:

    Did they say hosting or ghosting? ?

  32. Anonymous says:

    Edit*** I am a 23 yo fit male looking for someone to help me get myself back on to my feet while I work to pay my own bills off… of your willing to pay them off I’d be happy to return the favour in with the decision of your choice and if that is you then please feel free to message me on here it’s my username if you can find me oh and at least if anyone’s willing to buy me a gym pass for the year I’d be appreciative extremely ? or comment and I’ll get in touch with you

  33. Sir Save a Hoe says:

    Hey ladies Snap me your CashApp and I’ll spoil you.

  34. SD with Open Eyes says:

    I have not had to worry too much about inviting a SB back to the pad because increasingly I think a lot of the SB’s I have chatted with are really guys with stolen pictures getting some sort of perverse thrill out of leading people on in chat and then blocking them or stopping to communicate with them altogether.

  35. Sir Save a Hoe says:

    I’ll be your sugar daddy.

  36. Filtersrus says:

    I would be called a hobosexual for that… a bum lover

  37. Anonymous says:

    That’s so peotical

  38. Anonymous says:

    yes your right

  39. yougottabekiddingme says:

    What am I gonna do? The same thing I do everyday…live a beautiful life and enjoy actual relationships I with actual people. You might try it. Spite and bitterness aren’t exactly aphrodisiacs.

  40. yougottabekiddingme says:

    Good for them for closing off comments. You don’t deserve a platform. Am sure you’re proud of yourself, though no less lonely.

  41. Golden girl says:

    No need to look at the blog in the first place then lol

  42. Anonymous says:

    What do u want ? U think supermodel is just waiting for u ? Guys here want IG model but they don’t want to invest in girl

  43. Anonymous says:

    P P M means Pay Post Month , right ?

  44. Sdsdsd says:

    Well most are college girls joining these days so cant expect a great deal of maturity on the site

  45. Anonymous says:

    please confine your advertising to your profile

  46. Anonymous says:

    anon stop offering PPM instead offer a monthly allowance paid at the end of the month you won’t get banned for that

  47. Anonymous says:

    not until you please him

  48. Rick says:

    Huh ? That’s all I do is offer PPM. Never been banned.

  49. Anonymous says:

    Kat could up her game with cooking skills.

  50. Anonymous says:

    She wants the hot guy and the cash.

  51. Filtersrus says:

    Soooooo true.

  52. City Gent says:

    I host. Would never ask a SB to do it, just weird. If I’m on the road for work, hotels do the job but normally it’s my apartment.

  53. City Gent says:

    What is going on with these comments??

    • City Gent says:

      Genuinely shocked and embarrassed that a man … as a guest in their home … is telling girls to provide food to him. You don’t go to someone’s house and TELL the host to cook for you, they either do it voluntarily or don’t. Does not matter if you are a man or woman. Have some class.

      • Anonymous says:

        So you have no expectations that your sugar baby that you are paying money to should do anything nice for you. Figures.

      • Anonymous says:

        So you have no expectations that your sugar baby that you are paying money to should do anything nice for you.

      • Anonymous says:

        A paying guest.

      • Anonymous says:

        My sugar baby cooks dinner for me all of the time. I do pay for the groceries and she is getting an allowance.

      • Anonymous says:

        Guys like you are why women demand money for nothing.

      • Anonymous says:

        Haha not Asian and not a “paying guest”. I’ve never been to any of my past SBs’ homes, but they’ve been to mine. Jokes aside, I think it’s such bad manners for a guest to go to someone’s home and tell the host to give them food.

      • Anonymous says:

        I agree! It seems some SD are trying to see a return on their investments in savoury goods!
        ??? we are not wives so don’t expect a husband experience especially when it’s not negotiated in the beginning!!

    • Anonymous says:

      The sugar babies are all demanding shopping sprees. Where is your outrage with that.

      • Jessicajessica says:

        Whoever is doing this for you (cooking dinner) have lost their mind. This is fascinating ?
        If this is true this type of women need to get their head check ! ????????

      • Anonymous says:

        And this is why you are not a sugar baby Jessica.

    • Lulu says:

      I’m with you City Gent, the people on here are scary, lol.

  54. Anonymous says:

    No girl want to spend months texting guy for nothing

  55. Kat says:

    Don’t worry, I’ll feed you.

  56. Kat says:

    I didn’t write that

  57. Meltz says:

    Hosting is a good way to set the mood. It also gives you a chance to show your SD what you like and how you like to live. Caution should always be taken though. Letting a SD come to your house on a 1st date shouldn’t happen. Gotta protect yourself. Find out who you are dealing with before you host.

  58. Happy sb says:

    A boyfriend and sd dont even compare. Boyfriends are way more important and special. It’s like expecting a married SD to prioritise his SB the same as his wife.

  59. Anonymous says:

    SDs have a lot more to lose than boyfriends.

  60. Anonymous says:

    SDs and SB are the same as boyfriends and girl friends as far as risk. They are all people. You’d let a boyfriend over but not and SD.

  61. Anonymous says:

    Sorry this was meant to be a reply to Kat’s thread.

  62. Leanne says:

    Thank you! I’ve just started on seeking and your advice is really helpful. I agree and hosting is not something I will do either.

  63. Happysb says:

    I agree with kat. Years ago when i left my ex he stalked me for months. Now im super careful with any guy im dating like i wait months but with a sd.. na.. no amount of time would be enough. Just for cash?The risk isnt worth it

  64. Anonymous says:

    Are SD really concerned abt age?

  65. Kat says:

    If you’re planning meets with different girls you don’t know then yes you increase your chance of having your time and money wasted on hotels by no-shows. But if you’ve got a regular SB who you’ve already established is genuine and honest flakiness won’t be an issue.

  66. Howard says:

    The “always first meet in a public place” works both ways.

    I am not here to hire prostitutes, but for a real relationship. I have met some wonderful women here over the years, with lasting and meaningful relationships. I still keep in touch with them from years ago, as we are still friends.

    I have noticed that the average quality of women here has dropped significantly. Why are 2/3rds of them even bothering. There are still a few great ones to find.

    Before we become intimate, we establish trust. I wouldn’t date a girl from here just because she needs money that I happen to have a lot of and she isn’t ugly. She has to be someone I would want to date anyway, and visa versa. When I go to her place or she comes to mine, we watch out for neighbors, but we are not concerned about each other. If one of my former SBs unexpectedly knocked on my door right now, I would give her a hug and ask what I could do for her.

    If you can’t trust the person you are sleeping with, then find someone else.

  67. Howard says:

    I don’t know what those foreign women are here for, but it has to be a scam. I wish the site would allow us to limit who can see our profiles in other countries, since nothing good could come from them.

  68. Worldlywanderer says:

    I have a nice centrally located condo I live in. It is a great spot to meet my SB at, and she likes that it is nice and comfy. Saves hassle on getting a hotel. It works great 🙂

  69. Buck says:

    I’m in agreement with several of those commenting. I find an appalling lack of grammar and spelling among many, not all, of the women on Seeking Arrangements. As the old Head & Shoulders commercial used to state, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Try proofreading what you’ve written and then proof it again. Otherwise you risk coming off as just plain ignorant – no matter how hot you think you are.

  70. Anonymous says:

    She is majoring in business marketing “I’m looking forward someone that just wants to spoil me With NSA you I give you all my time and attention and you give me your money.”

  71. Rick Chandler says:

    Ive had multiple SB’s visit me at my castle with no issues BUT, I seem to have an uncanny ability to weed out problematic SB’s before we meet so:… it’s my preferred method. I did meet a first timer in a hotel once, against my better judgement.. I kept my antennae up & good thing too, I had two punks try to rob me after she snuck out. It didn’t end well for the would-be robbers, they both ended up needing bail money & oral surgery… I lucked out… that time.

  72. Anonymous says:

    How could you possibly know this?

  73. Anonymous says:

    More DDS from YGBKM

  74. Sugar baby says:

    No No daddies in the house

  75. Anonymous says:

    Okay Kat I won’t argue with you.

  76. Kat says:

    yh no point arguing with someone who is obviously not well

  77. Anonymous says:

    hey, my friend (not male but female sb) found a SM, but there wasn’t hundreds and hundreds of options for her to choose from like i had (im a sb looking for sd). aside from the fake profiles i remember she said that the SMs she spoke to were all nice which isnt the case with half of sds on sa

  78. Anonymous says:

    Thought so

  79. Filtersrus says:

    Hosting can have its advantages, especially if you’re involved in an arrangement where intimacy is in play. Having that place to have a cozy night in saves the POT the expense of a hotel or other play space.

    The drawback is that you open up yourself to stalking, creepy guys and other undesirable situations. I would suggest in that case that if it can be arranged,a small studio apartment can be leased and when your time together is done, you both go back to your respective homes. That option gives you BOTH a modicum of privacy and protection.

    • Filtersrus says:

      Also, that saved money CAN translate into a better more financially rewarding allowance

    • Anonymous says:

      I have had many sugar babies to my place for years. If they don’t want to come over I don’t have to date them. I have the bigger risk since they know where I live.

      • Filtersrus says:

        Precisely my point. Leasing a play place gives you the peace of mind knowing some bat shyte crazy partner doesn’t know where you live

        I get that it is less expensive your way, but you pay a price with your privacy just for that convenience

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes I risk having a crazy one bother me but after 15 years that hasn’t happened. I have had to bribe a few to go away.

      • Anonymous says:

        But it’s a drag to get a room and then if they don’t show and I don’t want to sleep in a hotel. I want to be home on my couch.

      • Filtersrus says:

        I feel your frustration. With my home I am literally on the top of a mountain and the property I built on was more than a quarter million $$. I would be an absolute loon to bring a new friend home, especially a young one

      • Filtersrus says:

        Home is too nice and property is expensive. I don’t want a first impression to be that i am a man who can be fleeced

  80. Plus Size Renee says:

    Both of my daddies host. Since one is a home builder, he often has a vacant property or we’ll visit his office which of course I don’t mind. Its much more fun and allows us the chance to role play.

    The other, well…. Lets just say he’s full of excitement. We can go anywhere and be in the middle of whatever and he wants to get busy…. Like this one time in the casino; OMG! Thing is, I’m ALWAYS ready especially since his wallet is unlimited!

  81. Leslie says:

    Thing is my parents pop up and visit anytime. Worst case scenario they show up one or two times and see me with an older guy…..they’ll have more than just questions.

  82. Unknown says:

    Never ever host unless daddy is paying for the place u are hosting in☺️

  83. SweetRed says:

    Dangerous territory. I need to know you for at least one year before I take you to my home or visit your place.

  84. Anonymous says:

    I bought my sugar daddy home and my roommate liked him and made him a better deal and now he isn’t paying me anymore.

  85. Anonymous says:

    I broke up with my sugar daddy and now he keeps hanging outside my place and following me. What should I do?

  86. Anonymous says:

    What if I have like 5 sugar daddies and they are coming over all the time, will people wonder what is going on?

  87. Anonymous says:

    If I host will I have to clean up my place first and kick my roommates out?

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