8 years ago
Chivalry in the Sugar World

February 24, 2011 at 8:46 am


Thanks for noticing. I think sometimes due to transitions in our society (at least here in the states), its become acceptable for a woman to expect less. Perhaps I’m a bit old fashioned or too traditional, but sugar is based on the idea of chivalry, which yes in most aspects, is dead.

This pairs with the conversation we were having about bf’s vs sd’s paying to take care of the woman. And it surprises me that some of the sd’s disagreed on this topic because it was only a couple decades ago that THAT was considered the norm. Only a half a century ago was a lady held in such a high regard that men would be in ‘competition’ for her hand, wishing to be the one that would take care of her. And yes, I realize also that society has also changed in the sense that women now work and make almost as much money as men, but I don’t understand why that means they should be held in a LOWER regard in dating, like they need LESS help, quite the opposite! If anything, ambitions, goals, and financial/educational accomplishments should only prove them to be a higher quality of character and even MORE men should be seeking her hand.

The relationship between a SD and SB is based on the ‘ancient’ idea of chivalry, that a woman should be ‘taken care of’. NOT KEPT! So many “SD’s and SB’s” don’t understand the difference between the 2. As soon as a SB demands ‘I’m not putting out till I get my money’, you’re subjecting yourself to the lower standard of being paid for, so why shouldn’t a SD treat you with less respect? The idea of the man demanding the woman after paying and vice versa has conditioned our sugar culture into thinking its ok and thats how it is. It SHOULD NOT be how it is! The gentleman should take care of the SB out of the ‘good and kindness’ of his heart, because he wants to give her a platform to stand on to continue to reach her goals and dreams, because he cares for and believes in her. She should be taken care of, not paid for.

Women are not cars.

And frankly, it pisses me off that we sit back and let these attitudes manifest and grow, because its only a matter of time before the toxic cold exchange of sugar expands and every SD and SB we come across gets this tainted version of how the relationship should be and feel and we end up getting the brunt of it.

And thus, chivalry in the sugar world will continue to fade. And we wonder why we get socks thrown at us.

– ‘carebear

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7 Responses to “Chivalry in the Sugar World”

  1. SD Guru says:

    This topic is in the Pages section and I don’t think it was meant to be commented on. So I’ll close commenting here and please continue the discussion in the current post titled “Sugar Daddy Principles”.

  2. Reach The Beach SB says:

    LASB – I agree fully! I have also seen young men fail to show good manners when others who know better step up. I actually am one of those who will suggest to a young man that it would be nice if he offered his seat to another. Let’s hope I don’t suggest this to the wrong person :)

  3. LASB says:

    RTB – Both mothers and fathers should pass down chivalry. I think instilling manners in general needs to be revisited by both genders. Just because I am female, doesn’t mean I won’t give up my seat on the train for an elderly person or help someone who is struggling with a heavy bag. Though I will say, I’m disgusted when I’m doing this and there are young men who are just standing there watching.

  4. Reach the Beach SB says:

    I love the idea that Chivalry is alive and well…I just wish more fathers would pass it down to their children. Their sons can act like gentlemen and their daughters will be treated like ladies.

    We have ourselves to blame as much as anyone else because there are many out there who either believe chivalry is condescending or that it’s passed its prime.

    For me, a man won’t get past date one if he can’t show he’s a gentleman.

    Well said Carebear!

  5. donna ray says:

    Almost divorced.looking for a sugar daddy to pamper and appreciate an older women. We all know that is lacking in these days and times.

  6. sheila patton says:

    looking for a man to pamper me without complaining when he does. I have alot to offer in return. Want to feel loved and apprieciated for once. Most men don’t appreciate what they have til it’s gone and by then it’s to late.

  7. I have always been of the view that the gig was to take care of the woman because you wanted to…maybe I am too old school, but I thought the pleasure was derived from giving pleasure, (in all mediums), SA just makes the end result a little more translucent, albeit the dance is the same, yet the field is at least more open…hopefully… both sides come to play with the same ideas… always good to talk first, see if you jell at all and sometimes you don’t. We chef’s say “you eat with your eyes” and the site allows everyone to get a basic idea. I think this is the best thing happening, if you are honest with one another…I am certainly happy…