8 years ago
How to let a Sugar Daddy know you’re looking for a real arrangement


Reach the Beach SB
January 5, 2011


Good morning sugars!


Tryingtostayhopeful SB, Jinna and Courtney – Welcome!

Being new subjects you to a lot of PJs (Pervy Johns), so definitely be careful! There are great pieces of advice on the blog landing page. Look at the table of contents on the right and read, read, read. Always feel free to ask specific questions. Many sugars have links to their personal blogs which can be helpful as well.

Both of you have run into fakes straight away. Here are a few suggestions to let men know you’re looking for a real arrangement:

  1. It helps to put an allowance amount instead of negotiable
  2. I actually stated bluntly that I am looking for a gentleman SD, not a one-night stand or a relationship.
  3. Write your profile to reflect you know what it is to be an SB and not to reflect that you are new. There are men who take advantage of new members.
  4. If a man ask for nudes, to meet in a hotel room or test drives, for or before first dates, block and delete. He isn’t even worth a response. Come here and vent if you need to, but don’t get drawn into a useless e-mail exchange where it gives him a chance to insult you.
  5. If a potential wants to send endless e-mails without arranging a date, put him on the back-burner and work on the serious inquiries.
  6. Grow a thick skin and a no-nonsense attitude (while staying sugary sweet of course). If your instincts tell you something isn’t right, it probably isn’t. SDs are out there, but you will have to screen relentlessly.
  7. Don’t give anyone your account numbers. Cash, Paypal or a separate sugar account work nicely.

Unfortunately, some women are desperate enough to accept ridiculous offers and empty promises; therefore, it encourages the men to basically spam new members for another hit.

All that said…I’ve been very successful here and the sugar is WONDERFUL!!! I’ve had help with a job search, generous allowances, networking, travel, gifts, passion, no drama and lifelong friends. I’m 43, attractive, witty, trustworthy, and have a true understanding of sugar. It took about 3 months to find a genuine SD. If I can succeed here, so can you

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14 Responses to “How to let a Sugar Daddy know you’re looking for a real arrangement”

  1. Notochick says:

    Can someone look at my profile and pic and let me know if it looks good? And if not what I need to change? Please

  2. Wildatheart says:

    Midwest and sugar mac thank you for the honest input. Ive also made the initial contact to the ones I might be interested in. I admit Im knew so I may be rusty. I’m very picky because I have to actually like the man, not just his wallet. 😉 I’m not a ‘gold digger’, I just think this is better than real world dating… Ive met some men on other dating sites and they wasted my time and all efforts were useless. Sorry to sound negative but Im having a bit of a drought in this department. Ive been told that I look better than Kim Kardashian and shes a big hottie! So, whats the problem? Ive set three months to find someone because after the new year I would be very busy….perhaps I should put a time limit on a profile. 😉

  3. SugarMac says:

    Here’s a gentlemans viewpoint ladies . There are a LOT of losers on any of these sites -of both sexes ,so it makes those of us who are serious work harder to find a real arrangement .
    Pics — Most every man is going to want to see some kind of picture showing your shape ,hair style , and coloring. A gent will not expect nudes although bathing suits are nice to give us an idea . 2 pics are all you need . If the guy wants an album -hit delete. Don’t forget , men think with their “gut” impression ( I’m being nice) and women feel that emotional connection . I am very emotional and romantic but I am first attracted by your looks .

    Any man who talks dirty or wants genital pics ,or worse puts up his genitals hit delete. Gentlemen don’t do that .

    Married men –if you are OK seeking an arrangement with him realize that he will not be able to put up a clear face safely. Don’t be put off by this at first. After all , he might be the best Daddy for you . Give him a little slack if the description and subsequent talk on the phone is satisfactory . I met my SB Love using fake pictures a girl friend picked out for me –which look very much like me . No one has ever questioned them who met me ,so I don’t feel like I am misrepresenting my appearance . Some guys might be doing this .

    “The Meet “-might be a little leap of faith since all you are going on is a profile ,pics , and what he wants to share . The same is true of us . Go on the date and take a chance if you like what you see and hear .

    Sugar -Be realistic and honest when you state your needs . Don’t throw a hail mary and hope that Donald Trumps brother is going to show up with $ 20 K /month .If you put your tongue in cheek and say $3000/month ,but you really might be happy with $1500 , then you are eliminating a lot of pot SD s who think you are out of their league . A loving Daddy who grows to care about you will pay you and gift you at the maximum of his ability anyway . He will want to impress you and take care of you . No guy likes a greedy gold digger anyway .

    My Baby– I love her from the bottom of my heart and we have been dating for 8 months . We are many decades apart and it is just working out so far . We both met after emailing back and forth for a week ,and talking on the phone once . Her pics were not my type but I took a chance and it was magic .

    If she moves on then I will be back here looking for one of you .

  4. Kindred Spirit says:

    Midwest~ I like the naked stick figure idea! Made me laugh! Thanks :)

  5. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    It’s likely they are pic collectors and posers. If you have pics online already, send the requestor one in good taste. If they ask for more, tell them not until you meet. If the e-mails go on for more than a few days, be the first to ask for a meeting. If they say no, wait a few days between e-mails and see if they decide to become serious. Most guys will ask for a meet within a few days.

    PS – for those that want naked pics, I draw a pic of a naked stick figure and send it to them. That either shows I have a great sense of humor or that they pic collectors are wasting their time.

  6. Wildatheart says:

    I’m having many SDs wanting me to email them my pics and endless emails and nothing moves forward… Im not sure what I’m doing wrong here. I’m attractive, single and educated. Why is this not working for me ((sigh)). ;(

  7. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Paypal accepts payments from bank accounts and cards. The recipients can access cash through bank account deposits and a Paypal debit card. It does leave a paper trail and it can reveal your real name to the depositor.

    Cash is always best for discretion, but many married daddies have to be discreet about how they access the funds and how much they can take out at a time. I did have one sugar bank account that my SD deposited cash into once a month. The glitch here is that I opened the account online and they always wanted to warn him that it was an online account and get mgr approval (protecting him from fraud). This was uncomfortable for him and sort of defeated the purpose of discretion. We were 1000 miles apart, so it was the best option. I suggest you open the account in person and he should be able to make deposits without an issue. If you can get two debit cards, that would be great, but usually they only issue one per signer on the account.

  8. sisterSB says:

    Pardon the ignorance, but paypal has never been something I’m savvy with. Don’t you need you bank account info set up in there as well? Wouldn’t that leave just as much of a paper trail as depositing straight out checks?

  9. Ana says:

    I have yet to find even a pot SD. I was given false hope by a man who wanted me to text him. He wasnt a gentleman. Not even close. Never asked how I was doing…Never even introduced himself. But his first demand was for a picture. HA!. If you dont have the decency to even pretend to get to know me, youre not getting anything. Period. :-). I’m not feeling very confident in finding a gentleman willing to make an arrangement.

  10. Deanna says:

    Hi girls – I became a member in 2010 after a break up. I really lucked out and found a genuine SD. He completely understood what an arrangement was and he was so great and reliable and generous. Our relationship lasted 7 months, it simply ran it’s course. Since then I can’t find a “real” SD as I put it. The site has been infiltrated by all these guys who are clueless about Arrangments. They want to email sex talk and are cheap and reluctant to assist, they should try match!

  11. Martin says:

    Melania — If you decide to go the bank account route, it works like this: You open a checking account IN YOUR NAME ONLY at a bank convenient for both you and your SD. You provide your SD with the account number and the full name you opened it under. Your SD can then deposit your allowance at the arranged times and for the arranged amounts, but only you will have access to the money in the account. Unless they’re sloppy, the bank shouldn’t even tell your SD the account balance when he makes his deposit.

    Be warned, however, that being paid via bank account, while convenient, creates an official paper trail and raises several issues for you and your SD. If he gives you more than $13,000 in a calendar year, for example, he will need to file a gift tax return with the IRS. Meanwhile, you will need to determine if your allowance qualifies as income that must be reported to the IRS or, if you receive any form of public assistance, if it would cause you to violate the income and/or asset qualifications for your government payments.

  12. Anna Molly says:

    Yes, you’re right Melania. I have a seperate “sugar” account that I use. Some even use PayPal, all he would need is an email address in order to transfer funds to you. Hope this helps and good luck! :)

  13. Melania says:

    I became a member in June 2011. I wrote to a potential SD in my hometown and he wrote back he asked for my phone # so that we could set up an date to meet. The question is you suggest not to give any one my account number, Cash would be great, but if it’s not possible, what do you mean by a separate sugar account-just open an account for him to make the deposits?


  14. Dasia says:

    I was on SA and found a great SD relationship that lasted almost 2 years. I came back and began looking for a new SD and found that it is very difficult. The amount of pot SD’s that want endless emails is crazy, I am lookinf for a real SD not a penpal. I can fly to see them but I feel the first meeting should be in my hometown, or at least close, and there are many who do not understand. And last there are so many young men on here with claims of knowledge of what an arrangement is and then you find out they have no clue. I had such great success before and this time it is proving to be such a challenge.