9 years ago
Thoughts from a Married Sugar Baby

2Chic says:

Hello Sugars,

I wonder into these blogs from time to time to read up and get educated. I have been out of the loop for a minute, but am back. I joined this site back in July. The emails were slow and after a while I just got bored with it all. I have had a SD and our vibe was all good. Before I go any further, let me say that I AM MARRIED and would like to share with you my perspective of why I am SB’n it. As another stated earlier, people come from different situations and circumstances. I did not start out with such a mind set, but after 14 years of enduring emotional and mental abuse, I began to feel I deserved so much better. Up until August of 2009, I had never been unfaithful to my husband. In spite of the misery, I remained devoted, but after so many years of tears, neglect, and sadness, the last episode of tongue lashing snapped the final thread that held my heart to him. It is hard to put into words, all I felt was a numbness. I did not care anymore what he thought, said, or tore from me. I was like I want to be happy. We do have children and that has been the second adhesive to the marriage. But after so much pain, my own children began telling me to get out. (How is that for a an eye opener?)
Now here is where the problem starts, my husband is military, this caused us to travel a lot, which meant that my college degree did not help me when it came to having longevity on a job. This in turned created a dependence towards my husband. So now that he is retiring, I am finally creating the business I have dreamed of, the dream I had to put on the shelf in order to support his career. With the success of my business, I will be able to be self sufficient, and get the heck away from this man forever. We are in CA, and the law favors the women in most cases, but as for me I am at a point to where I just want out and nothing more from him than to continue to provide for our children. The less he has over me, the happier I will be. I am now accustomed to being alone without my family, I am originally from NC and my entire family is back east. It gets lonely, but I prefer the West coast for there are more opportunities for my business. When I discovered SA, I was floored, and at first a little skeptical, but curious. After a few meetings, and rediscovering that men thought I was beautiful, it boosted my confidence. I never paid any attention to other men stares before, for my husband was always making me feel as though I was a culprit to invite stares from the opposite sex. For me I am just now awakening to who I am, and where I am heading. I am choosing me now, I have finally realized that I am a beautiful woman. I do stand out in a crowd and will no longer be ashamed of it as I have been made to in the past. I am going to take advantage of what life offers and refuse to accept what has been thrown at me in contempt. So heres to you Anna Molly, go for yours, find your happiness.
I just recently ended my very first extramarital affair( due to his work relocation). He was married, and it worked out fine, he knew my aspirations and admired me for such strength. I did not demand anything from him, it just all fell into place. He wanted to assist me because he knew my heart, my passion, and that I was sincere about him. I choose to be a SB because I want to experience true kindness, attention, and support. I also would like a man in my life who wants to see me reach my dream, and become independent. The site presents opportunities for women such as myself who has aspirations, and a determination to succeed. Women who just need some financial backing to move forward. For me it is more than a $$$ arrangement, I search for a friendship with substance, passion, and respect. Do I object to him being married, of course not, because each situation is different. My goal is to get out of a horrible marriage, to get on my own two feet, and gain a great friendship in the mix of it. There was a time when I would have scolded myself for such a mindset, but after a moment of self reflection I realized that I couldn’t grow old and unhappy. That is the path I am headed down if I do not get out. One day my children will be gone, and I will have remained too long and it will be too late. I can’t do it! So before anyone passes judgment, get the facts on each situation. It is not black and white.

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14 Responses to “Thoughts from a Married Sugar Baby”

  1. Mary says:

    I’m reading my story as well. But not only do I get the verbal abuse my three young children do as well. We are all treated like toys that he has around to play with when his parents are around. But to step out of the marriage right now would be financial suicide. I want to go back to school but he won’t watch the kids and we can’t afford child care. I want to be able to stand on my own but need a little help to start. I also am craving attention in a positive light. I’ve been told that I’m attractive but I’m not sure if that’s true anymore. If anyone can give me any tips on how to go about finding and getting what I want please let me know.

  2. Heather says:

    WOW WOW, as stated above I am reading my life story! Same I felt it would be cheap to search while still married, yet complete financial suicide to step out penniless on my own. I also am aspiring to be supported in my business, and then stand on my own two feet, both situations that I clearly stated in my profile, maybe I shouldn’t have, but what the heck I did!!!

    Thanks for your story, you are supporting more women then you know! Thanks for this site for providing a REAL place to connect with all facts on the table!

  3. Honey says:

    I need a sugar baby friend or someone who wants the lifestyle who lives in Houston. Great perks. Helps to have a car and have Some money,I’m not looking to support another person with my savings! I want someone to bounce ideas off and do lunch,yoga and dinner parties with..Must like chickens and goats…..lol!

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Dears, I am so sorry and have the same experience in an empty marraige and far from home. Couldn’t you tell me a bit more over the men you have encountered? Best of luck to you all.

  5. debfire says:

    Wow, I thought I was readind my life story..After 20 years of marriage I am happily divorced and very happy. At 41 I still have my looks and a new desire for life that I’ve never experienced.My kids are great and in college and thanks to my generous sugardaddy I’m pround to say I,m starting my own business! See life can be better than ever!!!!Stay strong and believe in yourself you will survive. Debbie

  6. Honey says:

    Save up and get your car, get a job. Forget what he says. Your people are free!

  7. Cutie69 says:

    I read this and thought, Wow, this is me!!! I just filed for divorce after years of emotional abuse and always feeling ashamed for the attention i received from other men. I am finally doing what i want to do and want a man that can really support and admire all that i am. Thank you for you letter

  8. Southernbelle says:

    Wow. An eye opening post. Congratulations on your courage. I am struggling at the moment with joining the site. I too am married, almost a year. We were high school sweethearts that met back up after more than 10 years apart. Both remembering how it was and having all those feelings come back from our past. We had both been previously married with kids, but do not share any together. It was the usual whirlwind romance, after a year of living together we were married. Everything was blissful until three months into the marriage. I gave up a career in fitness, all my friends, family, and life to start fresh in the town where he had established a career and life. He wanted me to be a stay at home mom and raise the three kids we shared. He made more than enough money to support us, so I agreed. Then one of our cars broke down and we were left with one car which he used to get back and forth to work. Living on one income, we would need to save up for another car. That being said, I was basically trapped at home. Which is how he liked it. He didn’t like me talking to people or having friends. Because I am very attractive, he had previously accused me of having affairs and meeting other men while he was at work. None of which was true. I spent all of my time making the house spotless, making sure the kids were taken care of, and about a dozen other things. He would come home from work, drink and become very violent about it in front of our kids. Sometimes punching holes in the wall or throwing things. I would learn to never argue back and let him have his say until he passed out. The kids would learn to hide. He has since cut back on the drinking after many months of threatening to leave. I live in fear that he will have a bad day at work and drink again. He is like Jekyll and Hyde when he drinks. When he doesn’t he is very loving and somewhat attentive. It has been several months and we almost have enough saved up for a car. He still doesn’t want me working or going anywhere without him. I’m afraid he will start drinking again with the fear that I am cheating on him. I have almost talked myself into joining your site so I can find the help I need to make a fresh start. I am hesitant because he might find out. I could use any advice anyone has to offer…..

  9. Momo says:

    Congratulations 2chic for standing up for what you want!

    I was thinking about my life and what suits me just before I read this post.
    I don’t want to be judged and gossiped about but is my own precious life.
    It’s mine to live on my own terms.
    SO if someone wants to judge me, they may do so, I’m still going to live my life.
    It’s the only one I have and I’m going to do what it takes to find my happiness.

    I hope everyone can find their happiness.

  10. Momo says:

    Congratulations 2chic for standing up for what you want!

    I was thinking about my life and what suits me just before I read this post.
    I don’t want to be judged and gossiped about but is my own precious life.
    It’s mine to live on my own terms.
    SO if someone wants to judge me, they may do so, I’m still going to live my life.
    It’s the only one I have and I’m going to do what it takes to find my happiness.

    I hope everyone can find their happiness!!!

  11. Anna Molly says:

    Thank you 2Chic! I didn’t know this was here until now! I really needed to read this today. 😀

    I hope you’re doing well! You haven’t been around in a long while, we miss you!!! :)

  12. Juliet says:

    Hi. I know this was posted a while ago, but I came across this while doing a random search. Let me say that I am so happy that you wrote this for me to find. I, like you, am trapped in a bad marriage, only, it’s funny, because I’m the one with the job, but I am unable to kick him out or obtain any other form of childcare so I rely on him, it sucks. Anyways, I thought about being a sugar baby, but I was afraid I would be judged or feel like a hooker. Your post has helped me feel that this is not true. You’re right, every situation is different and no one has the right to judge! I used to live in CA, but I stupidly moved away to TX with my husband in a last-ditch effort to save the marriage and start new lives. It has now been two months and he is still jobless, I am still supporting him, he still treats me like crap and hardly helps me out with anything, and he is the most emotionally manipulative man I know….. I am miserable and miles away from all my friends. I never had much of a family to begin with, but I still miss them too, I’m not completely estranged from them. I am hoping to find a sugar daddy who is willing to accept my situation and be willing to fly me and my daughter back out to CA to start over…again….I too, would like to start a business and go back to school, maybe even get back in touch with my creative side and get into theater, art and modeling and stuff…..I’m only 27….I’m still youg, and not getting any younger! It’s time for me to be happy, for once. Thank you again for such an inspiring post!

  13. brent says:

    Btw. Itravel quite a bit. Happy to meet

  14. brent says:

    Just getting started.