The link between overall attractiveness and a giving personality has long been drawn, but is it really true?
When it comes to dating, one of the key questions that crops up is how do I make myself more attractive to those that I find attractive? We create profiles, we take the most flattering pictures, we curate and write and post… but attractiveness is a lot more than just an instance of winning the genetic lottery. In fact, what makes a person attractive has a lot less to do with symmetrical features than we might have initially believed.
Apparently, you can make yourself more attractive to others just by being kind, according to researchers.
More specifically, by being generous.
The Science of Giving
The research, published in the British Journal of Psychology, conducted more than 10 studies in different contexts involving more than 4000 participants.
They found the ‘attractiveness’ of a person dramatically increased when people find out about their philanthropic activities and behaviours; like giving to charity and overall generosity.
It has long been known that giving can have positive mental effects on the person who is doing the giving, such as an increase in happiness, confidence, and even significant physiological benefits.
It can naturally attract people to you because of how it affects your overall demeanor, yes, but there’s actually more to it than even this.
Generosity leads to Beauty
Research from Indiana University actually found that not only can generosity make you seem more attractive to the opposite sex, but it can make you quite literally, physically more attractive too.
Plastic surgery? Beauty treatments? The gym and a personal trainer? Not needed.
The IU study, published in Nonprofit and Voluntary Sector Quarterly, found that more physically attractive people are likely to be givers, and givers are rated as more physically attractive.
“Poets and philosophers have suggested the link between moral and physical beauty for centuries,” said the study’s co-author Sara Konrath. “This study confirms that people who are perceived as more attractive are more likely to give and givers are seen as more attractive.”
More than just skin deep
But what does this really mean? Apparently, the link between generosity and attractiveness is so strong that it even counteracts typical ‘unattractive’ features.
Natalia Kononov, the lead researcher who spearheaded the study by the British Journal of Psychology, used photographs of the same person, modified to make them seem less conventionally attractive (teeth edited, scars added, etc), and tested whether the description of their generosity made a difference to how people perceived them. The findings were unanimous; everyone still found those who were consistently generous more attractive.
Kononov concluded with regard to her research, “Our findings suggest this association isn’t just metaphorical; beautiful acts do, indeed, lead us to see people as more beautiful.”
What does this mean in dating?
When we date, we are looking at multiple factors. What might make someone a good partner, if their ambitions align with ours, if we admire them, if they share a similar idea of what a future could look like…
Generosity signals that someone is not only able to provide for a potential partner, but also that partner’s family, and for the family that they might have together.
Generosity implies a certain level of success, though not exclusively. When a date is generous beyond what is simply good manners, they show that they are willing to invest in a partnership and those that they care about, ensuring that their experience is elevated, and that they feel cared for, nurtured and, most vitally, seen.
On Seeking, generosity is the one trait that stands above the rest. Boosting personal well-being, physical attractiveness and also positively impacting everyone around you, it becomes more than a romantic gesture; it becomes a standard. Join Seeking today!
