The end of a marriage can make you feel like an epic failure, but don’t worry, you’re in good company. Half of all marriages are doomed to end in divorce, so the odds were really stacked against you from the beginning. Now you have this incredible opportunity to start a new journey and it could lead to anywhere you want. Dating after divorce can be fun but before you fall in love and rush into a second, or maybe even a third marriage – maybe you should reassess your strategy.
Divorce is an expensive lesson to learn – both financially and emotionally. Whether you have only been with one person long-term or have had multiple relationships before your marriage, now is the time to take stock of the patterns and lessons that you’ve learned along the way. Go into this new journey with an open mind and a different mindset than when you were looking for your first partner. This is your chance to experiment and really get to know yourself before locking it down again. Here are the four people you should consider dating after divorce.
Date A Younger Woman
There is nothing quite like dating a younger woman after a divorce. Women in their twenties love getting attention from older men because they are so used to having to lower their standards and expectations for men their own age. Many young women are forced to play games, go dutch, or endure ‘situationships’ and toxic relationships while dating their peers. So when an older, established man comes along it is usually a welcome change from the immature dating interactions they have become accustomed to.
It is an amazing feeling when you start getting attention from a younger woman and that feeling can rejuvenate your soul after a divorce. It’s not just about their youthfulness or looks, but the overall demeanor of a twenty-something in a mature relationship that makes this age gap so appealing. Someone who is younger is less likely to be jaded or resentful in life which can lead to more creative, energetic, and open-minded experiences. Some women want a man to take charge in a relationship and teach them in a way that only an older man will be able to. Power dynamics in a large age gap relationship like this are often called into question, but the truth is you can learn a lot from each other in these types of partnerships.
Date Women Out Of Your League
When you get married, you don’t expect to ever have to go on first dates again. You accept the idea of your place in life and never even consider that the people you fantasize about could ever be a part of a tangible reality. So when you do wind up getting divorced, it can be scary to put yourself out there and face the risk of rejection. This is why most people end up dating the first person who shows them interest, even if they are not an ideal match. Why go outside of your comfort zone if you don’t have to, right?
Here’s the truth, though. If you are a successful man who knows how to respect women, there are more women in your league than you think there are. Women know that most men above the age of 35 have likely been married before. They don’t care about your past, they just want someone who can be a good partner in the present. Experience, wisdom, and success are qualities women find very attractive, so don’t underestimate yourselves based on superficial biases. They want men who fit into the lifestyle they have envisioned for themselves, and the bar is much more flexible than you think. So don’t be afraid to dip your toe in the right dating pool and shoot your shot with the girl of your dreams.
Date Someone Below Your Tax Bracket
When you’re heading back out into the world of dating, you won’t always be able to date someone who matches your level of success. This can be a tricky thing to navigate as a newly single man who is starved of attention but doesn’t want to get taken advantage of. Most women have good intentions when it comes to dating a wealthy man. She either wants a partner who can contribute equally to a shared lifestyle or a provider to create a life with. As long as you’re both being upfront and honest about your expectations for your relationship, there is no reason why you should be wary of dating someone who makes less money than you.
One of the benefits of dating someone a little further behind in life is that you can spoil them in ways they may have never experienced before. Women who have never had access to wealth appreciate the finer things in life in a completely different way than someone who might have grown up rich. So take her on trips, buy her the shoes, or help her out with rent. Money isn’t everything but generosity can manifest itself in many different ways and you might be surprised at how much more genuine your connection might be with someone in a different tax bracket.
Date Someone From a Different Culture
41% of first marriages will fail, and those are most likely to be the ones where both people are close in age, culture, or religion. You likely walked away from your marriage with a long list of things you don’t want out of your next relationship. But now is not the time to jump into another similar situation. Have you considered the thought that being too closely aligned with what you are comfortable with didn’t leave much room for growth? If you haven’t dated outside of your race, religion, or country – now is the time to experiment.
You’ve already experienced the life you imagined for yourself and it wasn’t exactly what you pictured. So now it’s time to experience the life you never even dreamed of.
Every road doesn’t have to lead to marriage, you can date different women until you find the one that makes you want to do it again. Date the artist who speaks multiple languages or the Black influencer who is in a different city every weekend. Consider the possibility that the love of your life might live in another country. The worst thing that can happen when you date outside of your culture is that you could learn something new and expand your own cultural horizon.
Online Dating Tips for Divorced Men
Dating after divorce doesn’t have to be a daunting task. It should be a fun, amazing new chapter of your life full of experimentation and incredible experiences. Finding places where you feel comfortable and welcomed is an essential part of putting yourself back in the game. A dating site such as Seeking.com that focuses on honesty and sophisticated connections is a great step toward your next dating adventure.
Still on the fence about getting back into the dating game? Here are a few tips to get you started:
- Complete Your Profile – When it comes to online dating, women spend 75% of their time reading profiles, while only 51% of men take the time to actually fill in all their details. If you want to increase your chances of getting a date, this one simple step could put you ahead of the competition. Be creative, get specific, and don’t take yourself too seriously.
- Choose Interesting Photos – Women may spend more time on your words than your profile pictures, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t important. Choose photos that showcase your lifestyle and make a woman fantasize about the kind of life they could have with you. Hint: She doesn’t want to see you with a fish. She wants to see you next to your nice car, in a suit, on vacation, at a concert, etc.
- Don’t Dumb Down Your Messages – Those first few messages can be crucial for closing a first date. Don’t make the mistake of using too many emojis or forgoing punctuation while messaging. Even things like abbreviating words and phrases such as “ur” or “wyd” can be an instant deal breaker for some women. Approach each new conversation as if you were writing an email to a potential new client, at least until you get to know one another better.
Focus On The Present – One of the fastest ways to ruin a potential new connection is to dwell too much on the past. Being divorced doesn’t have to be your whole identity. If she asks about your past relationship on a first date, be honest but brief. Resist the urge to speak poorly of your ex and stay grounded in the present. There will be plenty of time to unveil those layers if you make it to a relationship phase, give yourself a chance to get there.