Attention, women. Have I got a man for you.
Roger owns his own transportation business. He’s a rich, handsome pilot who fixes things around the house with a he-man tool belt slung around his perfect waist. He lives by the mantra “happy wife, happy life.” There’s just one catch: He’s under 6 feet tall. So, because many women often swipe past guys who are under 6 feet tall, they never gave themselves the chance.
Roger got swept off his feet by Sandra instead. She’s now happily engaged, living the high life in his extravagant home and not-so-secretly gloating.
“I would’ve never got him if it weren’t for all these women saying their man has to be over 6 feet,” Sandra says with extreme excitement in her voice. “Their loss! I try telling my single girlies how to get a man, but they won’t listen.”
Like Roger, Sandra is a walking throwback—the kind of woman who laughs easily, wears dresses that swish when she moves, and supports her man without keeping score. She has dinner on the table when he gets home, even though she runs her own business from the den. Roger lights up talking about her.
“She’s amazing,” he says. “She knows how exhausted I get after managing people all day.”
Plot twist: Roger and Sandra are political progressives. Turns out successful couples—left, right and center—follow their instincts instead of the cold detachment demanded by online gender wars.
Men Are Wired Wrong (Allegedly)
Yes, women should smile more like Sandra if they want a man, studies say. Men overwhelmingly prefer women with happy, open expressions over sad, angry or ice-queen neutral. It lights up the reward centers of our brains like a jackpot. Evolution wired us this way—a genuine smile says, “I’m warm, trustworthy, and I won’t make your life a living hell.”
The guy who tells you to smile more could be a clod, but he’s following his DNA divining rod. If you’re committed to your resting, ferocious face, own it. Just know you’re fishing in a smaller pond. There are men who crave fierce ice queens, but they come with caveats.
Take my beachy acquaintances Monica and Eugene. She hasn’t smiled since the Mad Men finale. She treats Eugene like a footstool butler. I’ve watched her shake an empty rocks glass while reclining like Cleopatra: “I need a refresher.” Eugene fetches it.
He knows he’s a dutiful dud, but when I criticize Monica out of earshot, he squeaks, “Nobody talks about my wife that way.” Her drink arrives fresh. Eugene smiles hopefully. She doesn’t look up.
What Lilly Saw in Ronald
Smiling works differently for men, according to reported studies. Women interpret a warm smile as a stable trait for a long-term relationship. But for casual fun, women often prefer the brooding, unsmiling type—strong jaw, heavy brow and a quiet dominance that commands, “I can handle things.” Testosterone theater, basically.
Women want taller men for protection, providing and reaching the top shelf, with V-shaped hunter bodies, strong shoulders and symmetrical features. Studies suggest they prefer a slightly larger package for one-nighters, but more comfortable sizes for the long haul.
One mysterious man I know, Ronald, looks like a young Clint Eastwood—tall, brooding, emotionally unavailable. His cute girlfriend Lilly let him live with her for free, gave him a car, free-use sex, and turned a blind eye to alcoholism, lies and cheating.
At a suburban house party, I made the mistake of telling Lilly what I thought of Ronald. She glossed over my prosecution and played publicist: “Ronald doesn’t understand why you’re angry at him.” Amused, I pardoned myself to the cheese plate. Some women overlook anything for that hunter energy.
What Nick Could Afford To Notice
Men don’t have to be rich and powerful, but it helps when their looks are average. A shorter guy like Roger compensates with status, money, charm and competence. Women make that trade-off. Men? Not so much. A high-powered woman gets a boost only if she’s beautiful, science says. Otherwise, success can make her less appealing.
My buddy Nick dated a hot exec. He tolerated her long nights, addictions and secrets until she fell apart physically. Then he dumped her with a Post-it note on her kitchen counter: “I saw that Seinfeld bit and thought it was funny.”
His new working-class girlfriend worships him. She gets treated like a goddess. They’re smooth sailing.
Deep down, our mating “choices” are barely choices. We’re slaves to evolutionary wiring. Unhappy about it? Don’t yell at the opposite sex. File your complaint with natural selection—and delete a few filters while you’re at it.
