All healthy relationships, whether platonic or romantic, require clear boundaries in order to function seamlessly.
Often times people think of relationship boundaries as a controlling set of rules, but the reality is that boundaries aren’t about the other person, they are about you. Relationship boundaries are about setting your own limits and learning how to work with the limitations of your partner in order to effectively work together to maintain a healthy relationship.
Below I will outline some guidelines to help you establish clear boundaries in your relationship.
Know what you want
It’s important to know what you want prior to entering a new relationship. If you know what you want and perhaps more importantly what you don’t want, you will be prepared to articulate those feelings to your partner. Prior to embarking on a new relationship take some time to reflect on what you are looking for and take note of your dealbreakers. Being indecisive will lead to drama later down the line.
Be clear and direct
An open line of communication can prevent confusion and misunderstanding. If you know you are a busy person, tell your partner of your scheduling limitations. If you have certain expectations of extravagance in a relationship, be up front about it. Speaking directly and honestly can help you work through potential roadblocks.
Set Expectations
Relationships involve at least two individuals with different preferences on different topics. Setting boundaries for things such as how often you want to be texted or called, whether or not you prefer to have your relationship advertised on social media, and probably most importantly, whether or not the relationship is exclusive can be extremely important for the health of your relationship.
Remember, boundaries only work if they are made clear to those involved. Additionally, boundaries can change so it’s a good to check in every so often and make sure everyone is still on the same page.