We’ve all had ho-hum dating experiences, right? Ladies, remember the guy who wanted to “just meet for coffee” and then had the nerve to ask if you’d split the bill? Or the time you put on your sexiest little black dress and Louboutins – only to have him show up in board shorts and flip-flops? It might be time to Upgrade Your™ dating life.

And guys, we’re sure you had moments you asked out a 10, but when she showed up, she was so quiet in person that she was more like a 4. Or, maybe she never even showed up at all. (The nerve!) 

When we date up, we boost our expectations of how our dating life—and life in general—looks. Once we set high standards for ourselves and our relationships, we always come out pleasantly surprised with the results. 

Seeking.com is your shortcut to finding others who also aspire to greater connections. Intrigued? Keep reading to learn 3 ways you can upgrade your dating life.

1. Have Luxurious Date Ideas in Mind

None of us are mind readers (as much as we’d like to be). So, instead of expecting your date to come up with all the suggestions of where to go and what to do, maybe you could offer a few exciting ideas as well. We’re not talking about a ho-hum dinner and a movie, but more like a candlelit picnic on the beach during a lantern festival. Or maybe a helicopter dinner at sunset. For our foodies, consider a curated dining experience with one of your favorite chefs. All of these ideas can be invigorating for you and your date. Sign us up! 

2. Seek Higher Ground

Once you’ve gotten past the initial first date, you might realize you found someone who makes you feel brilliant, attractive, and worthy of affection, even if you’re both in unfamiliar territory. Now it’s time to get out of that comfort zone and manifest some bucket list-worthy adventures for two. A sommelier-led tour around some Loire Valley vineyards might teach you both about some fine wines. Or, if you are up for some far-flung travels, look for ways to experience new lands like never before. (Snowmobiling in Finland, anyone? Perhaps an African safari?) Here’s the good news: Strong connections are often the result of such endeavors. And your travel photos will undoubtedly make all of your single friends want to upgrade their dating life.

3. Know Your Worth

You’ve likely heard this before, but they say that before someone else can love you, you have to love yourself. Here are some ways to get started:

  • Look in the mirror and give yourself a great pep talk every day. Realize the parts of your body you might not think are perfect might be just what gets someone else’s engines revved. 
  • Think of one thing every day that makes you special or unique. It could be as simple as your knack for making the perfect mochaccino or as impressive as your understanding of quantum physics.
  • Speak kindly about yourself to yourself and to others. 
  • Remember, avoid settling at all costs! 

That’s all it takes. Really! Now login to your Seeking account or create your Seeking profile and you’ll be ready to upgrade your dating life. For more dating stories and advice, visit the rest of the Seeking blog.