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6 Essential Online Dating Tips for Men: A Guide to Success

As you may have noticed, Seeking has an entirely different angle than most dating sites. On Seeking, we don’t swipe, we don’t settle, and we Date Up. In other words, we are a luxury site composed of like-minded Attractives (female members) and Successfuls (male members) who want to elevate their dating lives.

Yet Seeking has more than 44 million members around the globe so it’s fair to wonder what it takes to really stand out from the crowd and find those magical connections. We already asked the ladies for their thoughts, so now let’s turn the tables and get the guys all the Seeking 411 from our male community.

Want more responses? Make your message unique.

Any man will attest there is nothing quite like the feel of a custom suit made just for him, so imagine how it feels for a woman to receive a message thoughtfully crafted especially for her. We aren’t suggesting you write a haiku or find a dozen words that rhyme with her username, but by just mentioning something about her that you find intriguing, she’ll definitely be more likely to respond. For example, are you both Spanish cuisine connoisseurs? Let her know!

Beware of the invisible woman

Despite the many sophisticated measures we take at Seeking to protect you and your data, there are still some bad actors who sneak onto any online dating site. A common example of a bad actor is someone who doesn’t look like their photo – or doesn’t exist at all. You can avoid the “invisible woman” phenomenon by asking to video chat before setting up a date.

However, if you ask for either a video chat or verification a few times and get shut down, you probably want to move along. Seeking has a great feature that puts the control in your hands by allowing you to verify any user’s profile! In addition, we offer an amazing video chat feature directly on the site that we highly suggest you use before meeting up with anyone. 

Decide what you want – and make it clear

Attractive and Successful members have many different reasons for joining our site. The only way you’ll get the right person to find you is by determining specifically what you seek, and putting it right there on your profile. Honesty is the best policy. And remember: No one is “out of your league.” You have a lot to offer and some special person is going to truly appreciate you for who you are.

No cutting corners!

Speaking of profiles, is yours as weak as drip coffee? You don’t have to have Quentin Tarantino’s mastery of the monologue to create a profile that gets attention—and there’s no reason to ramble on for more than a few short paragraphs—but single sentence and pithy one-word responses usually get a hard pass from the ladies. Think about it from a gal’s perspective: If you don’t have time to dedicate to writing an informative profile, how much time would you be likely to invest in a relationship with her? This is your chance to share your intentions and 2-5 recent photos that show your personality. As one Successful member told us, “profiles are basically personal marketing.”

Because of this, make sure you use the “About Me” section to cover what you do for work, your hobbies, etcetera, and the “Seeking” section to outline specific qualities you seek in a partner. (For example, instead of saying you’re looking for someone with Jennifer Lopez’s looks and Sandra Bullock’s personality, you might say you would love to meet someone who shares your passion for music and dance but also has an entrepreneurial streak and loves a good laugh).

Before you make that profile go live, consider showing it to some female friends, too—they’ll tell you what sounds cringe or, hopefully, downright charming. 

Be a gentleman – no matter what

We know seeing photos of all these gorgeous women on Seeking gets your engine revving, but consider these wise words from actress Melanie Griffith when you initiate conversation with women: “There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy: her heart.”

Please, for all that is good in the world, refrain from using silly nicknames, staring at or commenting on anything below her neck, sending inappropriate photos, or suggesting anything that’s downright rude. Even if someone turns out to be different from what you were hoping for, treat her with kindness and respect.

The most direct path to a perfect match is by being genuine, respectful, kind, and complimentary. We promise those types of behaviors will pay off in spades.

Believe in the process

Sure you might come across some members who are less than fully invested, but they are definitely the exception and not the rule. Stay at it and be patient—we promise you’ll find good matches in no time. Remember: Every “meh” experience only leads you closer to the really good ones! 

When you’re ready to dive into the deep end of next-level luxury dating, log in to your Seeking account or create your Seeking profile. And when you need some great date ideas and advice, check out the rest of our Seeking blog.